Yet_Another_Boring_Marxist
22nd July 2013, 05:51
Found this on the interwebs a while ago. Ignore the problematic bits and enjoy:
This is intended for young Communist fathers under 30. if you are over 30, I suggest you consult the self-help section of your local bookstore. There might be information regarding your perilous descent into social isolation and consistent foul odor arising from your laundry. Just do your laundry, kid.
Here’s the situation. I’m a single dad. I’m a Maoist. (Is there a connection between parenting styles and MLM? I don’t know.) My former partner and I co-parent our son and share responsibilities fairly evenly. After an extended period of celibacy, I decided I wanted to fuck again and I sure did fuck (and fuck up consistently.)
Cultivate Friends who are Young Parents with Children. JUST FRIENDS.
I happen to be the youngest parent at my son’s pre-school, which presents its own problems. Apart from the dirty looks and gestures from other well-established petit-bourgeois couples, I find it difficult to establish playdates for my son. I think, that, before even attempting to date or even fuck, it is crucial to establish a network of friends with children that your child can play with and that you can enjoy time with. Don’t fuck these friends at all, seriously, it’s a big mistake.
All your friends will desert you as you become a single father, most likely. They’ll be out drinking or throwing rocks at Starbucks. Face it. You need some down to earth proletarian friends who play rough and tumble games with their children, go to the park, eat ice cream. Don’t even try to make friends with a parent who institutes co-sleeping or other schemes which run against common sense.
Don’t date. Make new friends. Having a group of friends with children beats fucking hands down. I learned this the hard way. Make this your first priority.
If you must date, just fuck someone from out of town
You may think you have time to date, but, you don’t. And consider this- even if you were to find that so-called “special” someone, are you ready to introduce this person to your former partner? (If some such partner exists.) Are you ready to navigate the disputes which will obviously emerge between all parties involved? If you’re young like me and you need to get your shit in order, just fuck. Just fucking is hard for some people, but, there are a few ways you can do this honestly.
Don’t use OKCupid. Dont use Tagged. Don’t use any Internet dating machine to find a sexual partner. Just hang out. Be honest about your responsibilities to your child and fuck on the week days, or at least whenever your kid isn’t around. Don’t introduce your kid to this person, it creates problems. Save that for somebody else who moves at your pace.
It’s better if your sexual partners are out of town (between an hour or two hours away), better yet if they live across state or national boundaries. What’s really important is finding someone who objectively will not be able to take up much of your time.
Don’t Ever Reveal Personal Information To Your Fuck Buddy or Potential New Partner
If you’ve established a fuck buddy or potentially new partner, keep your personal life under wraps. Mention your child in the sense of establishing a fact. Never reveal the inner-workings of your co-parenting relationship, your problems, or your anxieties. This will come back to bite you in the ass. It’s hard to trust people outside of being a parent, when you are a parent every decision you make may come to haunt you in the future. Keep it clandestine and open up gradually, very gradually. Don’t rush. I would never suggest this to any person in particular, but, in this world, people are mad crazy (and you probably are too!) and so it is essential that you keep yourself under tight watch. Reveal only what is necessary and have a good time. Keep shit to yourself.
You’re not in love. Consider isolation an option.
I thought I fell in love with a single mother with a young child. She was great, really. I still hold her in high esteem and I hope she does well. She was very intelligent and politically left, too. But, here’s the catch. When you date another single parent with a young child, there is a strong tendency to become immediately ideological. The spectre of the American family in a fucking house and a dog begins to encroach on your logic. You do realize that more than half of all couples cheat on each other and the family is an irrelevant institution to most Americans?
Take this for a fact. Do not be Utopian and consider that you can live a Disney fairy tale. The fact is that people in my generation will most likely not have long lasting relationships and if you have a long lasting monogamous relationship, it will most likely fail. The trick here is reservation.
BE RESERVED. Don’t introduce your kid to this person for at least six months. I know it’s tempting -- another young person to hang out with, get ice cream, go to the park, watch a movie cause we’re stuck at home being parents. Beats isolation, no? But in reality, it doesn’t beat isolation. I would have rather been isolated. Consider isolation an option.
You’re still dating your ex-partner, always.
This may be the most difficult advice to understand. You left your partner for whatever reason but you co-parent and make the best of it. Even though your romantic relationship has expired between you, it still exists objectified in your offspring. (And if the encounter wasn’t romantic, this still applies.)
Everything you do must uphold the other parent involved. Every social or romantic encounter you have with another person will be mediated by your former relationship forever. If your former partner hates your new girlfriend, boyfriend (or other), dump them. It’s not worth it. The relationship between you and your former partner is primary because it is still the frame of reference for your child.
Conclusion
Don’t date for a while. Get some friends and fuck people far away. Make sure they live far away. Your former partner will be the most important person in your life for a while, you might as well still be together (but thank god you’re not!).
This is intended for young Communist fathers under 30. if you are over 30, I suggest you consult the self-help section of your local bookstore. There might be information regarding your perilous descent into social isolation and consistent foul odor arising from your laundry. Just do your laundry, kid.
Here’s the situation. I’m a single dad. I’m a Maoist. (Is there a connection between parenting styles and MLM? I don’t know.) My former partner and I co-parent our son and share responsibilities fairly evenly. After an extended period of celibacy, I decided I wanted to fuck again and I sure did fuck (and fuck up consistently.)
Cultivate Friends who are Young Parents with Children. JUST FRIENDS.
I happen to be the youngest parent at my son’s pre-school, which presents its own problems. Apart from the dirty looks and gestures from other well-established petit-bourgeois couples, I find it difficult to establish playdates for my son. I think, that, before even attempting to date or even fuck, it is crucial to establish a network of friends with children that your child can play with and that you can enjoy time with. Don’t fuck these friends at all, seriously, it’s a big mistake.
All your friends will desert you as you become a single father, most likely. They’ll be out drinking or throwing rocks at Starbucks. Face it. You need some down to earth proletarian friends who play rough and tumble games with their children, go to the park, eat ice cream. Don’t even try to make friends with a parent who institutes co-sleeping or other schemes which run against common sense.
Don’t date. Make new friends. Having a group of friends with children beats fucking hands down. I learned this the hard way. Make this your first priority.
If you must date, just fuck someone from out of town
You may think you have time to date, but, you don’t. And consider this- even if you were to find that so-called “special” someone, are you ready to introduce this person to your former partner? (If some such partner exists.) Are you ready to navigate the disputes which will obviously emerge between all parties involved? If you’re young like me and you need to get your shit in order, just fuck. Just fucking is hard for some people, but, there are a few ways you can do this honestly.
Don’t use OKCupid. Dont use Tagged. Don’t use any Internet dating machine to find a sexual partner. Just hang out. Be honest about your responsibilities to your child and fuck on the week days, or at least whenever your kid isn’t around. Don’t introduce your kid to this person, it creates problems. Save that for somebody else who moves at your pace.
It’s better if your sexual partners are out of town (between an hour or two hours away), better yet if they live across state or national boundaries. What’s really important is finding someone who objectively will not be able to take up much of your time.
Don’t Ever Reveal Personal Information To Your Fuck Buddy or Potential New Partner
If you’ve established a fuck buddy or potentially new partner, keep your personal life under wraps. Mention your child in the sense of establishing a fact. Never reveal the inner-workings of your co-parenting relationship, your problems, or your anxieties. This will come back to bite you in the ass. It’s hard to trust people outside of being a parent, when you are a parent every decision you make may come to haunt you in the future. Keep it clandestine and open up gradually, very gradually. Don’t rush. I would never suggest this to any person in particular, but, in this world, people are mad crazy (and you probably are too!) and so it is essential that you keep yourself under tight watch. Reveal only what is necessary and have a good time. Keep shit to yourself.
You’re not in love. Consider isolation an option.
I thought I fell in love with a single mother with a young child. She was great, really. I still hold her in high esteem and I hope she does well. She was very intelligent and politically left, too. But, here’s the catch. When you date another single parent with a young child, there is a strong tendency to become immediately ideological. The spectre of the American family in a fucking house and a dog begins to encroach on your logic. You do realize that more than half of all couples cheat on each other and the family is an irrelevant institution to most Americans?
Take this for a fact. Do not be Utopian and consider that you can live a Disney fairy tale. The fact is that people in my generation will most likely not have long lasting relationships and if you have a long lasting monogamous relationship, it will most likely fail. The trick here is reservation.
BE RESERVED. Don’t introduce your kid to this person for at least six months. I know it’s tempting -- another young person to hang out with, get ice cream, go to the park, watch a movie cause we’re stuck at home being parents. Beats isolation, no? But in reality, it doesn’t beat isolation. I would have rather been isolated. Consider isolation an option.
You’re still dating your ex-partner, always.
This may be the most difficult advice to understand. You left your partner for whatever reason but you co-parent and make the best of it. Even though your romantic relationship has expired between you, it still exists objectified in your offspring. (And if the encounter wasn’t romantic, this still applies.)
Everything you do must uphold the other parent involved. Every social or romantic encounter you have with another person will be mediated by your former relationship forever. If your former partner hates your new girlfriend, boyfriend (or other), dump them. It’s not worth it. The relationship between you and your former partner is primary because it is still the frame of reference for your child.
Conclusion
Don’t date for a while. Get some friends and fuck people far away. Make sure they live far away. Your former partner will be the most important person in your life for a while, you might as well still be together (but thank god you’re not!).