Dude is my future MIL hitting on me?

[RadioRaheem84]

Is this normal behavior for mother in laws?

My fiance warned me about her rather manic mom and there is a bit of a history with her, well....you know....getting around if ya catch my drift. At first I assumed that her little comments were just her strange way of complimenting me but then it just started to get weirder.

My girl said that she overheard her mother tell one of her friends that I am so "yummy". Then while I was out at their pool she said that she was going to take a pic of me with my shirt off and send it to her daughter. Also that I should walk around with my shirt off.

At first I was like, "ok.... that's nice, thanks, I guess". But then this one time she pulled me to the side away from everyone else and started to go into how much her marriage to my future father in law sucks and how miserable she is and how she hasn't had sex with him in such a long time and that it is completely over. I stood there shocked and I didn't know what to say and just told her to work on her marriage and I left the spot.

Now I know I am not crazy so I really think that this is not typical MIL behavior with their son in laws. I mean even in jest or being nice they don't normally say these things to their son in laws, right?

My fiance knows her quite well and tell me to ignore her but I cannot for the life of me figure out why she would say stuff like that?

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

i was gonna say talk to ur fiance but u already have. doesn't sound normal to me man :(

[bcbm]

-3lKbMBab18

[RadioRaheem84]

Yeah that was stuff that happened a while back but this time around she visited with her sisters, my fiances aunts, and she was pretty restrained. It was until she pounded some booze that she told me to come with her for a smoke and I obliged thinking that was all over, but she started to talk about how miserable she is, how this time it's totally over between her and the father, and how they haven't had sex in so long and how she doesn't want to give it to him and how she is so miserable.

Why the hell is she telling me this? And then telling me not to tell her daughter?

I don't read women well and cannot tell if they're being flirty or just nice or just want to chat. I've never been able to tell. That is why I am asking.

Is this lady hitting on me or what? I keep thinking her comments "compliments" are just drunk talk.

Other things she would say:

1.) tell my daughter I;ll trade her men
2.) to daughter: If you break up with him, I'll keep him.
3.) calls me up drunk sometimes and tells me that she loves me over and over again, she misses me, etc but I cannot tell if it's in that lovey son in law way or something weirder.

I don't know what to do or how to even look at all this. Just what is going on?

[bcbm]

well none of that sounds normal by any means at all

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

Yeah that was stuff that happened a while back but this time around she visited with her sisters, my fiances aunts, and she was pretty restrained. It was until she pounded some booze that she told me to come with her for a smoke and I obliged thinking that was all over, but she started to talk about how miserable she is, how this time it's totally over between her and the father, and how they haven't had sex in so long and how she doesn't want to give it to him and how she is so miserable.

Why the hell is she telling me this? And then telling me not to tell her daughter?

I don't read women well and cannot tell if they're being flirty or just nice or just want to chat. I've never been able to tell. That is why I am asking.

Is this lady hitting on me or what? I keep thinking her comments "compliments" are just drunk talk.

Other things she would say:

1.) tell my daughter I;ll trade her men
2.) to daughter: If you break up with him, I'll keep him.
3.) calls me up drunk sometimes and tells me that she loves me over and over again, she misses me, etc but I cannot tell if it's in that lovey son in law way or something weirder.

I don't know what to do or how to even look at all this. Just what is going on?
try ur best to explain it to ur fiance, she's the person who needs to know. either that or marry her mother i guess ;)1

[RadioRaheem84]

I know but the situation is always when she's had a drink, its a social setting. So the compliments I took them as drunk talk but the phone call and the whining about her sex life is different.

[RadioRaheem84]

All I want to know is this lady hitting on me or what? Should I take it as a good thing she likes her future son in law? I can never tell if someone is being nice or flirty.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

yes she is and na it aint, probably

[RadioRaheem84]

Well shit I'm staying the hell away

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

Well shit I'm staying the hell away
probz the best idea dude

[La Guaneña]

Well shit I'm staying the hell away

Well, I guess that is the one and only reasonable plan.

[Decolonize The Left]

All I want to know is this lady hitting on me or what? Should I take it as a good thing she likes her future son in law? I can never tell if someone is being nice or flirty.

This woman seems very unhappy with her relationship and you represent a new and attractive alternative whereby it's 'safe' to play around because you have a relationship with her daughter.

Yes, she is flirting with you, albeit in a drunken and rather crass way. Yes, you should stay away and inform your fiance that her mother makes you feel uncomfortable with her advances.

Also, that shit about calling you up late at night and telling you how much she loves you is totally out of line.

[RadioRaheem84]

Also, that shit about calling you up late at night and telling you how much she loves you is totally out of line.

Yes but the problem is that everything was always balanced to where it could always be denied. It was never direct to where you'd know for sure and I could just outright tell her to stop.

When she called me up she was tipsy and she kept saying I love you and at first I thought it was just in a living family way but then she just kept saying it too many times. It was weird. By the tenth time I was like is she trying to say something here?

She did this to me in person one time and convieniently it was always when the daughter wasn't around. It's shit like that that has me puzzled and because its never direct I don't want to tell her to stop and her tell me that I'm freaking out or that I'm conceited to think that she could be hitting on me.

[The Douche]

Holy shit.

http://www.glitterazi.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Ejection-Seat-e1341551247428.jpeg

[soso17]

She is totally hitting on you, and is far past the inappropriate line. I'd talk to your gf, and if she won't take your word for it, you may want to get out of the situation entirely.

It is NEVER normal to drunk dial your daughter's bf. NEVER.

[RadioRaheem84]

I knew it wasn't normal. Although at first I assumed it was because she thought I was a good listener and I was taking any form of respect because for the last half decade I was pretty much an outcast and there was enough racism to make anyone want to leave.

My girl knows and she knows her mom. Rumor is she already slept with a couple of my fiances sisters men. I talked to one of them and he confirmed it. So she has that reputation to begin with and my fiance told me to just ignore it and keep away.

[Ele'ill]

perfectly normal for an unhappy person to seek happiness

[RadioRaheem84]

perfectly normal for an unhappy person to seek happiness

Perfectly normal for unhappy people to seek hapiness through means that do not harm others. Not go on a destructive war path because they're miserable.

It's only now talking about it with ya'll that this shit was not normal and that the lady was hitting on me and how I am glad I just stood there with a perplexed smile to draw her off but imagine if I would've complimented back out of ignorance and had her think I was hitting on her back (I am really bad with reading women and if they're hitting on me or not I usually think they're just being nice).

The only reason why I was on the fence was because she wasn't direct like, "hey I like you I want to jump yer bones". Then I would've been like "woah, calm down there you crossed the line". Instead I just got a bunch of compliments and this odd vagueness about her intentions.

I am asking for future reference, are women just sometimes more subtle than just direct? That was the only thing that was keeping me on the fence. Either that or I am just that bad at reading signals.

[Rusty Shackleford]

maybe you need to tell MIL to cut it out? With your fiancee present?


its obviously making YOU uncomfortable. whether or not its actually her hitting on you, its making things weird and probably stressful.

[RadioRaheem84]

maybe you need to tell MIL to cut it out? With your fiancee present?


its obviously making YOU uncomfortable. whether or not its actually her hitting on you, its making things weird and probably stressful.

that would be majorly awkward. At least if I knew for sure if her comments were more than vague I would tell my fiance to tell her to please stop. My fiance knows there is something wrong with her like she is emotionally unbalanced and drinks a lot. But then again she has a really bad history of sleeping around, especially her daughters men, so she tells me to keep it brief and distant. So that is why I am always just stressed and wonder if it's her going at it with me or if she is just being really nice. Everyone in here says that shit is not normal, but then again she is not normal herself. It's a tough spot to be in.

[Ele'ill]

Perfectly normal for unhappy people to seek hapiness through means that do not harm others. Not go on a destructive war path because they're miserable.

maybe they're not being intentionally destructive maybe they're actually desperate to find happiness especially in the least opportune or likely off circumstances



It's only now talking about it with ya'll that this shit was not normal and that the lady was hitting on me and how I am glad I just stood there with a perplexed smile to draw her off but imagine if I would've complimented back out of ignorance and had her think I was hitting on her back (I am really bad with reading women and if they're hitting on me or not I usually think they're just being nice).

The only reason why I was on the fence was because she wasn't direct like, "hey I like you I want to jump yer bones". Then I would've been like "woah, calm down there you crossed the line". Instead I just got a bunch of compliments and this odd vagueness about her intentions.

I am asking for future reference, are women just sometimes more subtle than just direct? That was the only thing that was keeping me on the fence. Either that or I am just that bad at reading signals.

some people are just flirty but want nothing

[RadioRaheem84]

maybe they're not being intentionally destructive maybe they're actually desperate to find happiness especially in the least opportune or likely off circumstances



A woman getting old, used to be in her prime, knows it, drinks a lot and lives in small town Texas. Yes, I would say she is going for whatever she can get. I do chalk it up to desperation.



some people are just flirty but want nothing


There was a part of me that was thinking that this may have more to do with her than me, meaning these are heavy issues she is working out herself and I am getting caught in the crossfire. But then I was warned by my fiance's sister to watch myself around her and that she has already slept with her other former son in laws and former bfs of her daughters. So that is what always kept me on my toes.

I didn't take it as anything at first because she wasn't direct but then it became a bit repetitive and the phone calls threw me for a loop. Not to mention I don't know what the point of mentioning her sex life to me was all about and emphasizing how it's done with her and my fiance's father. It just seemed so random.

I appreciate chatting this out with you guys. I cannot go to my fiance because she will just say to stay away and that it's her when she's drunk. Can't go to the father in law because that would make things awkward and he will go straight to her and knowing her she will deny. And I cannot go to my family because they'll just think I am marrying into a weird family (which I sort of am) and will tell me to leave my fiance.

[BIXX]

I got stressed just reading this thread. Oh my god. I hate it when anyone who knows I'm in a relationship flirts with me- if it were my girlfriend's mom I'd die.

[RadioRaheem84]

Yeah it sucks, man. I just deal with it. The only thing that kills me though is how vague it really is, at least to me. People in here say its not normal, she's clearly hitting on you, and what not but because alcohol is involved and she does this mostly when she's tipsy (sometimes she's sober) it makes me think its just drink talk or that she has a weird way if complimenting. Nothing has been really direct. So its hard for me to put limits on what she says to me cus she might laugh it off and say I'm too sensitive or that I'm conceited for even insinuating that she's hitting on me.

[brigadista]

but if I may ask - you are her daughter's fiance right? what about her daughter's feelings?

[RadioRaheem84]

The daughter knows her mom is a major adulterous. It's no secret among the family and for worse the small town where she carouses. She thinks it sucks but she still loves her mom and she just thinks that I need to ignore it and accept her. She tells me to tell her I feel uncomfortable and I do, but the stuff she says is for some reason to me too vague. Either that or I am lousy at reading people's intentions. Lol

She doesn't like it but she can't stop her mom from being who she is. She just limits our time with her. We don't go over there much.

[brigadista]

hope it all works out for you - sounds horrible :):):):)

[BIXX]

:'( this thread makes me feel awkward.

[BeingAndGrime]

I would try and laugh it off, clearly your fiance isnt TOO bothered about it, its not like the mom is going to jump you, if it doesnt escalate i dont see the problem (obviously its not much fun for you but is it worth doing something and jeapordizing your relationship over it?).

But rest assured, it is not just in your head. But its an unhappy person trying to figure shit out, not much you can do other than stay away.

[L.A.P.]

I'm young and pretty awkward, but I'm pretty sure people flirt through body language, eye contact, and vague small talk instead of directly saying "I want to fuck you". I wouldn't make any doubts that your mother-in-law is flirting with you.

[RadioRaheem84]

Plus, my fiance goes back and forth with her too. The last time they talked the mother was really complimentary in a normal way and talked about me in a motherly way, i.e, how it should be. So my fiance said to me that she likes you (in a non-sexual way) and that all that was probably just a result of her being a little drunk and that she makes loopy comments. I mean I doubt my fiance wants to see her mom as a manic depressive alcoholic who would sleep with her future husband in a heartbeat.

I think that what is confusing me is that I've never dealt directly with someone with these kinds of emotional and mental instablities. It really is on and off, isn't it? Sometimes (when it didn't dive into weird fliting) I did not mind it when she was really niceand friendly when she's in these moods, even if I had to deal with a few off hand compliments, because before I was receiving racist slurs from the family. But then when the woman is stone cold sober or other days she would be a bit distant and it would be as though we never had a good time chatting and shooting the shit the previous week.

So the issue I think is mostly her and her instability and I just do not know how to deal with that considering I have no idea how to deal with people like her. I keep thinking that she is just normal despite her instances of weirdness.

[Questionable]

I know this topic is old but when I saw the title I thought it stood for "Maoist International something-with-an-L," like RadioRaheem was talking to an associate from MIM who wanted to recruit them.

[Trap Queen Voxxy]

She wants the D.