Struggling hard..

[tryingtochange]

So this won't be easy for me because the guys I got in with made me hate you all... I am trying to recover from being a racist because its ruined my life... I was consumed by hate and my life fell apart before my eyes.. I hated my own former friends for no other reason than that they were another race.. help me.. i always felt like the right was wrong.. this is a sincere call for help... there is no option for people who want out here..

[tryingtochange]

I guess I'm alone then.. I want to learn your politics and maybe speak to another former far rightist..

[Sea]

Go sit in the corner and thing about what you've done. I'll tell you when your time-out is over.

edit: I guess that was rather rude. Sorry. I'm not really sure what you're trying to ask. I mean, I'd be glad to help if there were some way I could help. Try reading through some of the threads in the top of this (learning) section.

You also might find this interesting: http://www.revleft.com/vb/glenn-lenin-my-t168141/index.html?t=168141

[Yet_Another_Boring_Marxist]

Welcome, I'll try to help you out tommorow, I'm going to sleep right now so I can't do much now.

[Deity]

Why do you hate other races? Did you have bad experiences with them or were you just raised in a racist environment? Its hard to help without prior knowledge.

Also if this is a joke I'm going to feel pretty dumb.

[Tenka]

So this won't be easy for me because the guys I got in with made me hate you all... I am trying to recover from being a racist because its ruined my life... I was consumed by hate and my life fell apart before my eyes.. I hated my own former friends for no other reason than that they were another race.. help me.. i always felt like the right was wrong.. this is a sincere call for help...

You got in with a bunch of racists who made you hate all your old friends because of their colour or whatever, and... when did this stop? Those at the stage of seeking help must at least have already acknowledged that they need it (unless it's a subconscious thing, but this is rather conscious...) so you surely don't want us to prove to you how racism is vile and imbecilic and all that stuff, if you're for real I mean.


there is no option for people who want out here..

Do you live in a small town run by racist militia or what?

[Tristana]

Tryingtochange, please ignore all of the rude and dismissive tone of the posts above; understand that people are going to be weary and suspicious of a former fascist.

I'd like to commend you for taking a major step forward. It isn't easy breaking free from contempt towards others, especially if you were conditioned by the influences around you for such a long time.

I know this because, while I wasn't ever a far-rightist myself, I was consumed by casual racism/sexism/homophobia for much of my adolescent years and I am glad to finally be free from the vicious cycle of bigotry.

The good news is that you're not born a racist. You have learned bigoted behavior through the economic and social institutions that divide and conquer the working class into submissiveness and suspicion towards each other rather than working towards a common goal of a classless society. You have a lot of time to reflect and gain some perspective and you can get rid of it as fast as you have learned it.

Also, I'd advise not jumping straight away into political activism again. Read some good books, including leftist literature. There's some good resources in the learning forum for you to peruse. Take up a new musical instrument. Start painting. Take a jog every now and then. The revolution isn't coming around anytime soon, and it's better that you contribute with a healthy and fresh mindset as you start to overcome any negative emotions you may be feeling at the moment. If you need to, seek professional help. You could probably also talk to most people on here. I'm sure if you message an admin or mod they'll know how to help you.

Welcome to RevLeft, and I hope this helps,

Tristana.

[Red Banana]

Do you live in a small town run by racist militia or what?

A lot of people do:
http://www.torcnm.org/resources/departments/pd/pd_at_hq.jpg

[tryingtochange]

Why do you hate other races? Did you have bad experiences with them or were you just raised in a racist environment? Its hard to help without prior knowledge.

Also if this is a joke I'm going to feel pretty dumb.

I had my own problems as a kid with being the only white kid where i lived. So, I moved out to the country and met some guys who took advantage of my past. I felt like a part of something. What a scary thing.. to feel as if hate is a healthy part of life.. Anyways I've seen, and have been the victim of, horrible things. If you are still interested, I'll elaborate more.

[Sinister Intents]

I came from being excessively racist, sexist, homophobic, and anti communist background, comrade. I got out of it through actively seeking out what I hated and found the positive. I have completely turned myself around.

You seem like you're already on the path top recovery if you're here.
What helped me was exposure top left wing politics as well.

[tryingtochange]

You got in with a bunch of racists who made you hate all your old friends because of their colour or whatever, and... when did this stop? Those at the stage of seeking help must at least have already acknowledged that they need it (unless it's a subconscious thing, but this is rather conscious...) so you surely don't want us to prove to you how racism is vile and imbecilic and all that stuff, if you're for real I mean.



Do you live in a small town run by racist militia or what?

Yes. They took advantage of my past troubles with other races. I alienated everyone around me but them. It stopped after I took a look around me and saw what hate did to my life. I do need help. I am here to learn. Where I live, there is a strong Klan presence.

[tryingtochange]

I came from being excessively racist, sexist, homophobic, and anti communist comrade. I got out of it through actively seeking out what I hated and found the positive. I have completely turned myself around.

You seem like you're already on the path top recovery if you're here.

I'm trying to claw my way out. I find myself still acting how I don't really feel anymore.

[Sinister Intents]

I'm trying to claw my way out. I find myself still acting how I don't really feel anymore.

You'll come out dude, I believe you will. I came out. Keep on fighting comrade, turn your hate to the fascists, racists, capitalists and all other oppressors

[Rusty Shackleford]

has anyone around you expressed similar doubts?

[tryingtochange]

has anyone around you expressed similar doubts?

No and they don't know I do yet.

[Sidagma]

I'd second the suggestion to stay away from activism for a good, long while. Right now it's extremely important, in my opinion, to maintain an attitude of humility. I'd suggest looking into the narratives of other white people who grew up in predominantly black neighborhoods who now acknowledge the privilege that being white gave them, even in those circumstances. I'd also look into environmental racism and the effects racism has had in the establishment and continued oppression of primarily black neighborhoods.

I'm assuming you're white. Are you?

Man, Tim Wise is kind of a douchebag in his professional conduct but I think I still want to recommend him because he does a lot of talking about this sort of thing. He's written whole books that you should probably buy and read.

[Rusty Shackleford]

On some of the stereotypes or jokes that get made:


yes, white people too can have problems supporting a family.
plenty of white men bail on white mothers
plenty of white mothers are single parents of multiple children
white people also collect foodstamps and unemployment
Kentucky Fried Chicken has a white man as its mascot
white people too can have drug problems
white people too join gangs (sometimes they have different words for them, like Militias or brotherhoods)
white people are also involved in drug dealing, robberies, and other criminal activities
and yes, even white people can be lazy.

im sure this is all pretty obvious, but if you are coming from a white supremacist background, maybe reminding yourself of this can help a bit.



as for reconciling with past friends. you might not be able to get them back, but if you are up to it. apologize to them in person, over the phone, or on the internet. if anything, it will help clear your conscience a bit... if that is what is bugging you.


another thing:

when people point out that 'illegals' are taking 'our jobs' (im white too btw) remember that not all of them are here by choice and many are getting screwed just as much in the work place.. but probably more than you our i because of the threat of deportation or an ice raid or whatever on top of other economic issues.

also when people say 'our country' or 'illegals' mexicans or whatever are ruining 'our culture' or smearing our 'makeup' ill point out 3 things:

1: 'our country' was the product of colonization. Before 'us' (whites) there were native americans. (no need for a histroy lesson, everyone knows it, but its a good reminder)

2: if it is 'our' country, as in a white country, do all white people have political power? Is there not a division between white bosses and white workers? What about white politicians and white citizenry? Even when there is predominantly white economic and political control, it is those very white politicians and bosses/owners/investors that play white people like you and i off against 'illegals' 'arabs' 'asians' whatever.
a: they can pay non whites who are not documented far less than a 'legal' worker
b: it keeps 'legal' workers in a position to not demand too much or they too will lose their jobs overseas or to mexico or whatever. it is a threat.

3: when people talk about the US being a white supremacist country, it usually means that yes there is a over representation of whites in political office or in corporate board rooms, but even on the bottom run, whites are still afforded just a tad more be it a higher chance of employment, less chance of being pulled over by a cop or being assumed a criminal at any routine traffic stop... etc...




thats all i can think of now.

[Sidagma]

white people also collect foodstamps and unemployment

Important supplement here is that white people collect *more* welfare than black people, which is relevant because white people 1) are less likely to be in soul-crushing poverty, 2) experience poverty differently most of the time, and 3) are by far the statistical majority in the USA.

http://www.statisticbrain.com/welfare-statistics/

[billydan225]

I know how you feel my teacher called me a super conservitive but I'm kind of in the middle

[Taters]

I know how you feel my teacher called me a super conservitive but I'm kind of in the middle

dafuq?

You're "in the middle"? And your tendency is "Trotskyist"?

[Yet_Another_Boring_Marxist]

Yea I also came from a racist, right-wing background (not to imply that all right wingers are racists since I have no intention of offending). So feel free to message me if you need help and when I have more time I'll try to post more here. However as some one said I'd recommend that you stay out of activism right now because you are in between ideologies so to speak and it's very easy to let the muck of your old way of thinking clot your current politics. Unfortunately this is an extremely important problem on the left that we've seen in the SWP rape scandal and the racist remarks of the SEP. So for now just keep humble and try to learn from others. Mao wrote a very good text about trying to challenge yourself, your politics, and the people around you, and even though he is a controversial figure I think the general principles are universal.


Combat Liberalism

We stand for active ideological struggle because it is the weapon for ensuring unity within the Party and the revolutionary organizations in the interest of our fight. Every Communist and revolutionary should take up this weapon.

But liberalism rejects ideological struggle and stands for unprincipled peace, thus giving rise to a decadent, Philistine attitude and bringing about political degeneration in certain units and individuals in the Party and the revolutionary organizations.

Liberalism manifests itself in various ways.

To let things slide for the sake of peace and friendship when a person has clearly gone wrong, and refrain from principled argument because he is an old acquaintance, a fellow townsman, a schoolmate, a close friend, a loved one, an old colleague or old subordinate. Or to touch on the matter lightly instead of going into it thoroughly, so as to keep on good terms. The result is that both the organization and the individual are harmed. This is one type of liberalism.

To indulge in irresponsible criticism in private instead of actively putting forward one's suggestions to the organization. To say nothing to people to their faces but to gossip behind their backs, or to say nothing at a meeting but to gossip afterwards. To show no regard at all for the principles of collective life but to follow one's own inclination. This is a second type.

To let things drift if they do not affect one personally; to say as little as possible while knowing perfectly well what is wrong, to be worldly wise and play safe and seek only to avoid blame. This is a third type.

Not to obey orders but to give pride of place to one's own opinions. To demand special consideration from the organization but to reject its discipline. This is a fourth type.

To indulge in personal attacks, pick quarrels, vent personal spite or seek revenge instead of entering into an argument and struggling against incorrect views for the sake of unity or progress or getting the work done properly. This is a fifth type.

To hear incorrect views without rebutting them and even to hear counter-revolutionary remarks without reporting them, but instead to take them calmly as if nothing had happened. This is a sixth type.

To be among the masses and fail to conduct propaganda and agitation or speak at meetings or conduct investigations and inquiries among them, and instead to be indifferent to them and show no concern for their well-being, forgetting that one is a Communist and behaving as if one were an ordinary non-Communist. This is a seventh type.

To see someone harming the interests of the masses and yet not feel indignant, or dissuade or stop him or reason with him, but to allow him to continue. This is an eighth type.

To work half-heartedly without a definite plan or direction; to work perfunctorily and muddle along--"So long as one remains a monk, one goes on tolling the bell." This is a ninth type.

To regard oneself as having rendered great service to the revolution, to pride oneself on being a veteran, to disdain minor assignments while being quite unequal to major tasks, to be slipshod in work and slack in study. This is a tenth type.

To be aware of one's own mistakes and yet make no attempt to correct them, taking a liberal attitude towards oneself. This is an eleventh type.

We could name more. But these eleven are the principal types.

They are all manifestations of liberalism.

Liberalism is extremely harmful in a revolutionary collective. It is a corrosive which eats away unity, undermines cohesion, causes apathy and creates dissension. It robs the revolutionary ranks of compact organization and strict discipline, prevents policies from being carried through and alienates the Party organizations from the masses which the Party leads. It is an extremely bad tendency.

Liberalism stems from petty-bourgeois selfishness, it places personal interests first and the interests of the revolution second, and this gives rise to ideological, political and organizational liberalism.

People who are liberals look upon the principles of Marxism as abstract dogma. They approve of Marxism, but are not prepared to practice it or to practice it in full; they are not prepared to replace their liberalism by Marxism. These people have their Marxism, but they have their liberalism as well--they talk Marxism but practice liberalism; they apply Marxism to others but liberalism to themselves. They keep both kinds of goods in stock and find a use for each. This is how the minds of certain people work.

Liberalism is a manifestation of opportunism and conflicts fundamentally with Marxism. It is negative and objectively has the effect of helping the enemy; that is why the enemy welcomes its preservation in our midst. Such being its nature, there should be no place for it in the ranks of the revolution.

We must use Marxism, which is positive in spirit, to overcome liberalism, which is negative. A Communist should have largeness of mind and he should be staunch and active, looking upon the interests of the revolution as his very life and subordinating his personal interests to those of the revolution; always and everywhere he should adhere to principle and wage a tireless struggle against all incorrect ideas and actions, so as to consolidate the collective life of the Party and strengthen the ties between the Party and the masses; he should be more concerned about the Party and the masses than about any private person, and more concerned about others than about himself. Only thus can he be considered a Communist.

All loyal, honest, active and upright Communists must unite to oppose the liberal tendencies shown by certain people among us, and set them on the right path. This is one of the tasks on our ideological front.

Here's another good quote

In opposing subjectivism, sectarianism and stereotyped Party writing we must have in mind two purposes: first, "learn from past mistakes to avoid future ones", and second, "cure the sickness to save the patient". The mistakes of the past must be exposed without sparing anyone's sensibilities; it is necessary to analyse and criticize what was bad in the past with a scientific attitude so that work in the future will be done more carefully and done better. This is what is meant by "learn from past mistakes to avoid future ones". But our aim in exposing errors and criticizing shortcomings, like that of a doctor curing a sickness, is solely to save the patient and not to doctor him to death. A person with appendicitis is saved when the surgeon removes his appendix. So long as a person who has made mistakes does not hide his sickness for fear of treatment or persist in his mistakes until he is beyond cure, so long as he honestly and sincerely wishes to be cured and to mend his ways, we should welcome him and cure his sickness so that he can become a good comrade. We can never succeed if we just let ourselves go and lash out at him. In treating an ideological or a political malady, one must never be rough and rash but must adopt the approach of "curing the sickness to save the patient", which is the only correct and effective method.


I think the cynics above should try to learn from the emphasised bit.

[Lenina Rosenweg]

To the OP, you deserve a lot of credit for breaking out of a suffocating situation. Racism is limiting because, as I'm sure you know, 1) its irrational, it makes no sense 2) its created and is creating great harm in the world.

I grew up in a racist family.Some of those thought patterns can be difficult to break out of.I understand it can be difficult if the people you know, the people you grew up with think one way and you think another.

As I am sure you realize, it sounds like it may soon be nessecary to move on and get out of your town or location and find other people to hang with.

In the meantime the internet can be helpful. They are liberal and do have limitations but the SPLC puts out some good info on racism and fighting it.

http://www.splcenter.org/

As an antidote to a racist environment you may want to read up on the Panthers, Assatta Shakur, CLR James, DRUM.

How Europe Underdeveloped Africa by Walter Rodney is a masterpiece.

Read Trotsky's talk on the black liberation struggle. Its different than a lot of people think.

http://www.marxists.org/archive/trotsky/works/1940/negro1.htm#sd

[Nevsky]

I do need help. I am here to learn. Where I live, there is a strong Klan presence.

I don't know if this can help you but it sure did a great job at killing of all the remainig prejudices which I may had at some point, Charlie Chaplin's speech at the end of "The Great Dictator": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcvjoWOwnn4

It gets a lot of hype these days but it is really inspirational and sums up a lot what the progressive left is about.

[Sudsy]

I think Nazism and Racism can make good impressions on white people. When a white person hears Nazis claim their protection of the white race, I think white people will get a special sense of pride from this being reserved for their race. Also its easy to dismiss all blacks and hispanics as brainless murderers, but Nazism is guided by hate, so there is no levelheadedness. I think personal experiences also make a huge difference on someone. But racism and Nazism are wrong.

Maybe this is too much of a generalization, but I think most Neo-Nazis have ideologies sparked by hate and anger, or false impressions.

[billydan225]

I don't really know what I am politiclly

[The Jay]

I'm glad that you're trying. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

[Rusty Shackleford]

I think Nazism and Racism can make good impressions on white people. When a white person hears Nazis claim their protection of the white race, I think white people will get a special sense of pride from this being reserved for their race. Also its easy to dismiss all blacks and hispanics as brainless murderers, but Nazism is guided by hate, so there is no levelheadedness. I think personal experiences also make a huge difference on someone. But racism and Nazism are wrong.

Maybe this is too much of a generalization, but I think most Neo-Nazis have ideologies sparked by hate and anger, or false impressions.

At the same time, the connotation of being a Nazi is just as easily capable of turning someone away from such views. Even if the 'protect our race' line may have unwittingly drew someone in, when someone realizes they are now associating with or being viewed as nazis, it can cause them to go into a bit of re-thinking.


I had a video of a Tea Party organizer freaking out because she kept being viewed as a racist. I couldn't find it, and it may not have changed her and possibly reinforced it... but yeah.

[ellipsis]

So this won't be easy for me because the guys I got in with made me hate you all... I am trying to recover from being a racist because its ruined my life... I was consumed by hate and my life fell apart before my eyes.. I hated my own former friends for no other reason than that they were another race.. help me.. i always felt like the right was wrong.. this is a sincere call for help... there is no option for people who want out here..

I used to be a lite neo nazi in highschool but the. I left whitebread USA and learned about the world and lived in actual diversity. Now I'm what most on this board would consider to e rather politically advanced. And my girlfriend is none white. And my last best friend was a older gay black man.

It gets better.

[Sea]

What the hell kid? Why are you here and more importantly why the hell does your tendency say Trotskyist?I think you just answered your own question.