Have you ever dated somebody with political views radically different from your own?

[LOLseph Stalin]

I have :blushing:. He was an anarcho-capitalist and actually turned me libertarian for a bit before I came to my senses. He used to say how I'm only unemployed because I'm lazy and such. Needless to say that didn't last long. Does anybody else have any similar experiences or do you tend to stick to fellow radicals for your dating pool?

[Kalinin's Facial Hair]

Sort of.

I've dated a crazy-sectarian-trot. I liked her, but when it came to politics... Oh well...

[LOLseph Stalin]

Sort of.

I've dated a crazy-sectarian-trot. I liked her, but when it came to politics... Oh well...

Sectarian and Trot in the same sentence, no surprise there :laugh:.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

I've dated a few conservatives, not trying to do that again. One broke up with me when I told her I'm pro-choice when she asked me another broke up with me when she found out that I was reading Capital Volume 1. I didn't really know much about their politics until those moments though.

[LOLseph Stalin]

I've dated a few conservatives, not trying to do that again. One broke up with me when I told her I'm pro-choice when she asked me another broke up with me when she found out that I was reading Capital Volume 1. I didn't really know much about their politics until those moments though.

Seriously? People broke up with you over that? Seems pretty ridiculous. It's sad how incredibly closed minded some people are.

[Art Vandelay]

No but I dated a religious chick once, that's about it though. All my other girlfriends have been largely apolitical, but if you had to put a label on it, it would be some sort of moderate liberals. My current girlfriend has always been extremely sympathetic to my views, just not into politics that much.

[NoOneIsIllegal]

Nah. I have generally dated girls that were either apolitical, or they leaned towards the left (usually hard liberals or social democrats).
Funny enough, back in 2008 a girl saw my then myspace (oh gawd) which detailed all my political views and pretty much started messaging on the spot because of that. We dated for 3 years. She was very strong on her LGBTQ issues and a few other social issues, and over time she molded over to my economic and anticapitalist views as well.

Otherwise, I just have a rule of thumb that no crazy right-wingers or racists right off the bat.

[NoOneIsIllegal]

I've dated a few conservatives, not trying to do that again. One broke up with me when I told her I'm pro-choice when she asked me another broke up with me when she found out that I was reading Capital Volume 1. I didn't really know much about their politics until those moments though.
I've had many arguments, fights, and near break-ups with girls that were pro-life. People always thought it was weird I (the cis male) was usually the pro-choice one, and not my girlfriends.

[homegrown terror]

yes. never doing it again. all i wanna say on the subject since it was a traumatic experience.

[Let's Get Free]

No. In fact Ive never dated anyone

[LOLseph Stalin]

No. In fact Ive never dated anyone

Don't feel bad. The an-cap I dated was my first and only relationship. Tbh, if I'm to date again I have very specific criteria set out; they need to either be asexual or at least celibate. I would also preferably have somebody left leaning although they don't have to be a radical. There's actually one asexual guy who likes me now who is a democratic socialist. Maybe I can invite him here and radicalize him :blushing:.

[bcbm]

i only date fascists

[NoOneIsIllegal]

i only date fascists
you advocate bestiality? awkward. dating monsters should be forbidden on this site.

[Lev Bronsteinovich]

I'm married to someone who is pretty apoltical. She does not think highly of the political views of her family of origin which are rather right-wing. But none of the people I ever dated (except for an occasional liaison with party comrades) were Marxists, mostly liberals.

I have had a couple of strange experiences on dates, however. One time I took a particularly sumptuous young lady to a Grateful Dead concert. She complained that they weren't as good as Styx and didn't really enjoy the show. After I suggested we go for a drink at a particular pub. She said, "that place used to be good until blacks started going there." The date ended pretty much at that moment.

Another time, I was set up on a blind date (by relatives, no friend would have done this). The young woman was very pretty and from Texas. We were walking in Greenwich Village and saw some gay couples walking hand in hand. Her comment, "I think it's a shame that perfectly presentable men choose not to be involved with women." That was about 25 years ago, but not a good sign. Then, over dinner she said to me, "I bet you are one of those people that believe in Darwin." Well, that was about it for me. If someone can't embrace the views of the Enlightenment I doubt they will be sanguine about my crazy sectarian Trotskyist views. Can't bridge that gap.

[ВАЛТЕР]

Hmmm now that I think of it, most of the girls I have been with held some kind of lame liberal views. I would really like to find a nice Marxist girlfriend. The girl i am currently seeing seems pretty apolitical to me, but who knows. She may be a secret fascist sent by the neonazis to destroy me. Well we'll just see about that!! *pulls out gun* You'll never take me alive!

[Pelarys]

Well I don't know any girl sharing my political views, downside of living in little touristic towns, there's not many people there.

[La Guaneña]

The only longer relationship I've ever been in is my current one. She is a communist, and her parents are communists.

Her house is awesome, full of awesome books, Che posters and pictures, one picture of Hobsbawm and one of Florestan Fernandes.

I was a leftist, but I didn't know where I'm going when I met her, it was mainly this relationship that made me really study Marx, and get organized recently.

[Kalinin's Facial Hair]

you advocate bestiality? awkward. dating monsters should be forbidden on this site.

:lol:

[LOLseph Stalin]

The only longer relationship I've ever been in is my current one. She is a communist, and her parents are communists.

Her house is awesome, full of awesome books, Che posters and pictures, one picture of Hobsbawm and one of Florestan Fernandes.

I was a leftist, but I didn't know where I'm going when I met her, it was mainly this relationship that made me really study Marx, and get organized recently.

That is awesome. I'd love to be with an asexual communist, but both are such rare breeds it would be hard to find somebody who is both. :crying:

[La Guaneña]

you advocate bestiality? awkward. dating monsters should be forbidden on this site.

Best comment I've read recently.

[Landsharks eat metal]

I only ever dated one person, and he was a sort of liberalish-type thing. This was at the beginning of my real political development and pretty much exactly the same time I joined Revleft. He just thought it was "cute" that I was an anarchist and didn't really take it too seriously. But he kind of thought everything about me was just cute and it kind of annoyed me. We broke up a month later, but it had nothing to do with politics. Mostly because he was weirdly obsessed with me.

[#FF0000]

I tend to associate with apolitical or center-left people in general, so.

[Mass Grave Aesthetics]

I tend to associate with apolitical or center-left people in general, so.
Same here. Most of my girlfriends have been some kind of liberal/social-democratic feminists. The same with most girls I´ve dated. I don´t know why I attract all these feminists.
I have though had some one- night stands with girls who held right-wing libertarian views.


I have had a couple of strange experiences on dates, however. One time I took a particularly sumptuous young lady to a Grateful Dead concert. She complained that they weren't as good as Styx and didn't really enjoy the show. After I suggested we go for a drink at a particular pub. She said, "that place used to be good until blacks started going there." The date ended pretty much at that moment.

Brilliant story! The highlight of the thread so far.:laugh:

[roy]

ive never dated anyone with politics

[Yet_Another_Boring_Marxist]

you advocate bestiality? awkward. dating monsters should be forbidden on this site.

Hahahha I laughed at this

[Yet_Another_Boring_Marxist]

The first girl I dated was an Ana-Cap but I was one at that time. However half way through the relationship I began to read articles about the Arab Spring on the IMT page (I was interested in it and they provided the most in-depth analysis of the movement) and was slowing being converted to IMT Trottery. When she cheated on me with two guys and a girl I broke with individualism and libertarianism entirely (admittedly under the semi-mystic influence of John Gardener's Grendel). Later on I abandoned the garbage of the IMT's brand of Trotskyism and consider myself of the MLM orientation.

And no I haven't told my parents because they are both Conservative and would kick me out of the house before I could say "Mao". Also since my last girlfriend was Chinese I bet the amount racist "yellow fever" slur that I here constantly in my area would increase exponentially if I outed myself as a Maoist.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Seriously? People broke up with you over that? Seems pretty ridiculous. It's sad how incredibly closed minded some people are.

Yeah I didn't really care about the first one but the second one really sucked. I've dated a Christian girl who I broke up with because it was like I was a bad boy she was trying to save or something. Like I was her personal project or something, fuck that.

[Le Socialiste]

The only women I've dated so far have been moderate to rightwing christians. Ever since those relationships I vowed never to go through that again. I've been single for awhile now though...

[Rugged Collectivist]

Seriously? People broke up with you over that? Seems pretty ridiculous. It's sad how incredibly closed minded some people are.

I can't really blame them. If I was dating someone and she was all "I love Atlas Shrugged, fuck the looters" I would probably end it right there. This is someone that I'm going to spend a significant amount of time with. Hell, we might even have kids together. You have to agree with your significant other on fundamental things. I couldn't tolerate a libertarian poverty enabler and I wouldn't blame them if they couldn't tolerate me.

[LOLseph Stalin]

I can't really blame them. If I was dating someone and she was all "I love Atlas Shrugged, fuck the looters" I would probably end it right there. This is someone that I'm going to spend a significant amount of time with. Hell, we might even have kids together. You have to agree with your significant other on fundamental things. I couldn't tolerate a libertarian poverty enabler and I wouldn't blame them if they couldn't tolerate me.

I suppose you do have a point there, considering some of the nasty stuff my ex(the same one I mentioned in the OP) would say about me and leftism in general.

[Quail]

There's one guy I went out with for a couple of months who seemed fairly apolitical when we were together, but now is just a massive racist and homophobe and I can't talk to him for very long without him saying something that makes me angry now. I think I'd find it hard to go out with someone who wasn't at least left-leaning, because I obviously just get angry when people say things that are sexist, racist, homophobic, etc., and I just feel really cold towards people who can't empathise with other people. If someone kept talking to me about how poor people are lazy drug addicts, or how people on disability benefits are lazy liars, or how immigrants are coming over here taking our jobs/benefits, or any other right wing nonsense, I just wouldn't want to be around them. If I'm going to be sharing my life with someone we need to have at least a similar worldview. I wouldn't want to be with someone who I wouldn't be able to talk to about what's going on in the world without feeling turned off by their lack of empathy and compassion.

[Orange Juche]

I've always dated liberals/progressives who, probably because I can get onto a good rant, usually end up more left for it.

[Sentinel]

Longer relationships just aren't my thing - I just don't seem to fall in love with people, which kind of sucks I guess. The last time I even had a crush on anyone was in high school (which is over 15 years ago).

But if it happened, it certainly would have to be a leftist, anything else would be out of question. Not rabidly anti-communist, left wing social democrat is where I'd draw the line I suppose.

[Honggweilo]

the angry sex to settle a debate is awesome though

[slum]

last girl i dated was a liberal, but i was too, so. highschool.

last guy i dated was some kind of leftist- he looked at stuff thru a class lens but never talked about revolution. i think he was too idealist, hadn't really shed his catholic background.

i don't think i could date someone who was radically politically different since i have no patience for systems of thought that aren't logical and can't be argued without resorting to "human nature", "common sense", or emotionality- and i have yet to encounter anyone outside the 'far left' who could do so. i need a good sparring partner in a relationship.

mostly i can't shut up about politics or ideas and that gets really exhausting for people.

[No_Leaders]

Well most of the girls I've dated have been liberal or apolitical. Although one i had this fling with well she ended up becoming a conservative. Then again she was very much into being a 'good christian' Glad that didn't get too serious.. SO here's a fun story!

So I dated this girl back in my senior year of highschool my first real serious relationship and by then i was an anarchist and she was a hardcore liberal. But we agreed on almost every issue! We saw eye to eye on things like being against police brutality, and against the right wing, anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-capitalist, anti-fascist, gay positive etc. She was a vegan so she was really into animal rights (though disliked the ALF because of their property destruction and freeing of animals who "aren't native here so they will still die in the wild", but supported PETA) she was pro-peace, anti-war, she was agnostic, we went to protests together, we went to see a lot of the same bands together. She was into all the same political punk, and other artists i was into.

She seemed like the ideal girlfriend, in fact she had seemed perfect. You ever think to yourself "what would be my dream girlfriend/boyfriend?" Well this girl, fit everything I looked for in another person and more especially for an anarchist like myself. Yet i was awoken to abrupt reality, that all good things must come to an end, that sometimes not everything is as it seems.. I'm sure in her mind I was this perfect politically aware 18 year old kid who enjoyed some "Democracy Now" with her, and enjoyed car rides listening to Anti-Flag or Propagandhi, and often enjoyed talking about all the injustices in the world and how things needed to change. Yes i was, more than that, although she wouldn't know until one day forever burned in this brain of mine(not really burned in but for story's sake we shall say it is) we had this discussion. We were talking about some protests going on I believe it was about the G8 protests going on in Edinburgh back in '05.

So we're having this great discussion, and I remember i mentioned something about anarchist involvement in the protests. She kinda laughed, and started to go on talking about how idealistic anarchists are and how naive and selfish saying "they only care about themselves and shoving their utopian views down everyone's throat" At the moment i cringed. I tried telling myself, "ahh nonsense, she's just showing her bourgeois upbringing and typical liberal views that the system works if you believe in it just enough!. That Reform is the answer to all the injustices, reform is the answer for the poor and oppressed, for the workers and immigrants, yes! reform.. that's the answer to the problem that is capitalism.. reform." All i could do was grit my teeth I didn't wanna pick a fight, yet part of me just couldn't bear her bashing on my very views I hold dear. Here was this girl I was in love with, yet seemed to espouse so much disgust at the core of my beliefs, and what really is well me. That's when she found out the dirty truth that I was not just a very liberal person, but i was *gasp* a radical leftist, more specifically an anarchist.

So i proceeded to explain to her how revolution was necessary and reform is pointless. She then tried to ask me how i could be anti war yet still support violence. I told her the state was violence, the government was violence, capitalism is violence, human beings need to defend themselves and fight back against exploitation and wage slavery. She even ridiculed me when i told her I was reading "Value, Price and Profit" by Marx. Then proceeded to go on a tirade about how communists are also idealistic and just making stupid comments and remarks anytime I said I was reading Marx or Kropotkin. Needless to say she sure as hell wasn't the girl of my dreams after all, and after 2 years of trying to make things work and seeing eye to eye, well It just didn't work out.

Other than that every other girl i've dated has been apolitical or Obama supporter because they're liberal but still not much into politics.

[BIXX]

I dated one girl very briefly who was a libertarian. Didn't last long.

Then for two years I dated a girl who I kinda developed into an anarchist with, (her father is a really cool guy, too bad the break up was ugly as fuck so I can't talk to him now).

Current girl I'm dating is developing communist sympathizing and just barely apolitical thoughts, which I think is just right, cause she treats me with respect about my views and really listens when I talk to her. I brought her to her first protest as one of our first dates (March 15th) and she loved it, can't wait to see where she goes with her politics.

[Starship Stormtrooper]

I've only ever dated two girls, and those not for long (I'm unfortunately quite socially inept). The first had no idea as to my political ideals and was herself a liberal (in the US sense of the word) and the other was more of a conservative with strange views on sexual equality (she thought women were inferior to men). That relationship didn't work out either and ended after a couple of weeks, but we're still friends.

[Sean]

Dating someone with radically different politics sounds deadly. Hell, dating someone with politics at all is a minefield.

If you're incredibly secure in your own politics and the other person isn't, you're giving them a thrashing for being the person you said you liked in the first place.
If you're insecure about your politics you're living with someone that's constantly trying to poke holes in your beliefs.
Debating isn't just debating anymore and makes you both unlikable as neither of you are truly listening and you are close enough that you can tell.
Or if you are listening intently you get a creeping feeling that you're letting your affection for the other person play havoc with your core beliefs.
If the other person is listening intently you feel guilt from trying to change them into someone else.
Disagreements are now laced with deep personal attacks.
All your idealistic statements come under scrutiny against every secret you've ever shared with them.
They/you become jealous of any connection with other people with closer politics to your own because it gets confused with attraction.
Pulling them away from their own beliefs is pulling them away from all the friends they connect closest with.



If you're dating someone with different politics, one or both of you has to check that shit at the door. And if you take your own politics off the table but the other person continues throwing theirs around regardless, every conversation is a shit sandwich you have to chomp down on and smile through.

It's not impossible, but it's hard work.

[Landsharks eat metal]

I just realized I forgot to talk about the fascist I sort of Internet dated for a little bit. It was pretty much a fake relationship for the most part, but there were real feelings behind it for both of us. It was mostly just a roleplay marriage on NationStates (and he was married to about 4 others at the same time), but I was the only one of his wives (I hadn't figured out my gender identity yet) at the time that he was talking seriously about the future with. I'm still not sure about how much of what he said was a lie though.

It wasn't too weird with the politics since I wasn't quite where I am now, but I thought of myself as a socialist (even though I don't think I really was), as did most of his other wives. At the time, he mentioned having a "socialist/commie" fetish. He dumped me actually right before I got together with the guy I talked about earlier. The day I figured out I was really over him was the day Kennedy told me how he felt about me.

But that shit was all pretty dumb. I think I took it as more serious than it actually was because the thought of someone having feelings for me was such a novelty (and it kind of still is.)

[Sean]

I just realized I forgot to talk about the fascist I sort of Internet dated for a little bit. It was pretty much a fake relationship for the most part, but there were real feelings behind it for both of us. It was mostly just a roleplay marriage on NationStates (and he was married to about 4 others at the same time), but I was the only one of his wives (I hadn't figured out my gender identity yet) at the time that he was talking seriously about the future with. I'm still not sure about how much of what he said was a lie though.

It wasn't too weird with the politics since I wasn't quite where I am now, but I thought of myself as a socialist (even though I don't think I really was), as did most of his other wives. At the time, he mentioned having a "socialist/commie" fetish. He dumped me actually right before I got together with the guy I talked about earlier. The day I figured out I was really over him was the day Kennedy told me how he felt about me.

But that shit was all pretty dumb. I think I took it as more serious than it actually was because the thought of someone having feelings for me was such a novelty (and it kind of still is.)
I...what? Promise me you'll never share that chapter of you life with anyone ever again, that's pretty cringeworthy.

[human strike]

If anybody would like to introduce me to any women or beautiful men with politics radically different from my own, that'd be great. Thanks, comrades. :)

[Sinister Intents]

My ex girlfriend shared a lot of similar political beliefs as her national socialist brother. She would often criticize and abuse me.

My current girlfriend and I share the exact same political beliefs.