BIXX
22nd February 2013, 07:23
So, I have been having a lot of issues since around December 14th (when I really noticed it was a problem) regarding self-image and self-worth. I have been having a hard time looking in the mirror cause the shape I'm in truly disgusts me. I've had this problem on and off for around 3-4 years, but never for this long and never this bad.
Around November I quit wrestling at my high school due to a major personality clash with the coach and other wrestlers (as all of them are incredibly homophobic, sexist, etc... reactionary in general), as well as several injuries leading to a loss in motivation. I mean, I was pretty good as I'd been wrestling at that time for four years, but all the injuries were making it so I couldn't improve and everyone else was catching up to me. It was overall just unpleasant, and causing major distress, so I quit.
At first everything was great, I had a ton of time, nothing to keep me from doing what I wanted, etc... but then I started noticing that I felt worse and worse about myself, like people were constantly judging me for my weight and motivation. I look in the mirror, and even though it's only been nearly four months, I noticed I'm developing a disgustingly large belly. Now as I go through my day it's a constant preoccupation, and I've had a lot of self-confidence issues, and an overall loss of motivation that is affecting other areas of my life extremely negatively.
So I've decided to try and make a change to my life. Within the past two weeks, I've started riding my bike everywhere I go, no matter how far, whether or not it's in the rain or hot sun. I also carry a large backpack with all my school supplies and a big chain lock cause I figure it can't hurt to add extra weight. I figured this would at least give me a boost in motivation to work harder and whatnot. So far, it hasn't. Plus I've been wanting to learn to defend myself better. So I've been looking up MMA gyms, but I can't find one that I could pay for, and I don't wanna try to get my parents to pay for such an expensive gym, cause they have bigger things to worry about. If there are any suggestions in this regard, like ways to pull together some cash or something else that might enable me to do this, that'd be great.
Also, on a far shorter note, if I can find a diet that'd not ruin my energy levels, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Thank you for your time reading this, any advice is welcome.
Around November I quit wrestling at my high school due to a major personality clash with the coach and other wrestlers (as all of them are incredibly homophobic, sexist, etc... reactionary in general), as well as several injuries leading to a loss in motivation. I mean, I was pretty good as I'd been wrestling at that time for four years, but all the injuries were making it so I couldn't improve and everyone else was catching up to me. It was overall just unpleasant, and causing major distress, so I quit.
At first everything was great, I had a ton of time, nothing to keep me from doing what I wanted, etc... but then I started noticing that I felt worse and worse about myself, like people were constantly judging me for my weight and motivation. I look in the mirror, and even though it's only been nearly four months, I noticed I'm developing a disgustingly large belly. Now as I go through my day it's a constant preoccupation, and I've had a lot of self-confidence issues, and an overall loss of motivation that is affecting other areas of my life extremely negatively.
So I've decided to try and make a change to my life. Within the past two weeks, I've started riding my bike everywhere I go, no matter how far, whether or not it's in the rain or hot sun. I also carry a large backpack with all my school supplies and a big chain lock cause I figure it can't hurt to add extra weight. I figured this would at least give me a boost in motivation to work harder and whatnot. So far, it hasn't. Plus I've been wanting to learn to defend myself better. So I've been looking up MMA gyms, but I can't find one that I could pay for, and I don't wanna try to get my parents to pay for such an expensive gym, cause they have bigger things to worry about. If there are any suggestions in this regard, like ways to pull together some cash or something else that might enable me to do this, that'd be great.
Also, on a far shorter note, if I can find a diet that'd not ruin my energy levels, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Thank you for your time reading this, any advice is welcome.