a small story that says a lot about you

[bcbm]

after work i was sitting on the couch, absorbed in a novel about the assassination of somoza but took a break when my roommate got home to gush over some articles about the latest in men's fashion from the new york times and wall street journal she had with her

[Art Vandelay]

This one time I was at the end of a night of drinking and felt like I was about to throw up, but I had about an inch worth of scotch left in my bottle, so instead of saving it, I drank it.

And by this one time, I mean like all the time.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

One time I was chatting with this homeless guy and he asked me to lick his finger and I was like "Nah, I'm cool bruh".

[Astarte]

I think instead of burying Lenin there should be a worldwide communism tournament-style quiz show where the top contestants get to take home pieces of his body as prizes.

[Art Vandelay]

One time I was chatting with this homeless guy and he asked me to lick his finger and I was like "Nah, I'm cool bruh".

I love talking to and giving smokes to homeless guys and girls, but I've never had that happened.

[Art Vandelay]

I think instead of burying Lenin there should be a worldwide communism tournament-style quiz show where the top contestants get to take home pieces of his body as prizes.

Instead of a quiz show where the body is given away piece by piece, we should have an elaborate fight to the death and the winner takes the whole thing home.

[PC LOAD LETTER]

Me and my friend used to get really shitfaced and wander around. We'd have a backpack full of beer and carry it around with us - especially on colder nights because the beer wouldn't get warm. Once we crashed on the sidewalk near this local touristy shit until a cop made us leave. Another time we figured out the door code on some yuppie lofts and crashed in their library/common area on the couches. Usually if we got tired we'd find a nice alleyway or go behind an abandoned building or something.


Another friend and I used to get really shitfaced and go explore at night, too. But we'd be more prone to go climb small buildings and just sit on the roofs, 3 or 4 stories in the air, looking at the city. It's easy as fuck if the roof is staggered, like 1 floor up, walk over, climb another floor up, etc.

[Art Vandelay]

Me and my friend used to get really shitfaced and wander around. We'd have a backpack full of beer and carry it around with us - especially on colder nights because the beer wouldn't get warm. Once we crashed on the sidewalk near this local touristy shit until a cop made us leave. Another time we figured out the door code on some yuppie lofts and crashed in their library/common area on the couches. Usually if we got tired we'd find a nice alleyway or go behind an abandoned building or something.


Another friend and I used to get really shitfaced and go explore at night, too. But we'd be more prone to go climb small buildings and just sit on the roofs, 3 or 4 stories in the air, looking at the city. It's easy as fuck if the roof is staggered, like 1 floor up, walk over, climb another floor up, etc.

I wish I was friends with you, I haven't had that adventurous of a night in forever.

[ellipsis]

in high school i ate too many mushrooms, entered some awesome vortexes, and lightly bit a girl on the head.

[Art Vandelay]

That explains the interview Kai.

[ellipsis]

straight outta dog town, fucking....

[ellipsis]

believe or not i have a lot of stories, some of them so "unbelievable" that a good friend thought i was making them up, because there was NO WAY all of them happened to the same person.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

My friends uncle used to live in a really nice neighborhood when the housing market was up(He sold houses for a living, so shit hit the fan and he's living in a tiny apartment now) with a pool and shit it was awesome. But we'd get drunk as fuck off his alcohol, go outside and throw bananas as high as we could to each other trying to catch it. After we dropped it a couple times and it was all messed up we'd get the bananas and throw them at nice cars. Yeah fuck your Lamborghini take this rich motherfuckers hahahahahahaha. We'd always do hooligan shit like this drunk.

[Art Vandelay]

believe or not i have a lot of stories, some of them so "unbelievable" that a good friend thought i was making them up, because there was NO WAY all of them happened to the same person.

I stand by my statement, lets chill together sometimes; I wanna meet you.

[ellipsis]

one time i sold some mushrooms to some noob high school students (i was 19 at this point) and told them not to eat the whole eight, but of course one did, and ended up tripping so hard he peed his pants several times, including one time where he went behind a tree to piss, but still just pissed in his pants.

[Art Vandelay]

one time i sold some mushrooms to some noob high school students (i was 19 at this point) and told them not to eat the whole eight, but of course one did, and ended up tripping so hard he peed his pants several times, including one time where he went behind a tree to piss, but still just pissed in his pants.

WTF :confused: I don't do psychedelics very often (can only handle them about once ever 6 months at the most, since I find them extremely intense, be it acid or shrooms) but who pisses themselves off of an eighth of mush?

[A Revolutionary Tool]

There was this creepy guy who lived in the parking lot of my apartment complex in a motor home(I think the landlord was his brother or something so he allowed it) and one time he asked my older sister(In 6th grade at that time) if she wanted to get high and have sex. Obviously she's freaking out about this. So my friends went and smashed all of his windows with rocks at night. Then he put up cardboard boxes over the windows so we tore them off. After a while he replaced his windows and we just smashed them again. He drove his shit somewhere else after that...

[ellipsis]

that kid apparently... the worst part was they called me freaking out and I had to try to help him, to no avail, he could barely speak, let alone communicate.

[Art Vandelay]

There was this creepy guy who lived in the parking lot of my apartment complex in a motor home(I think the landlord was his brother or something so he allowed it) and one time he asked my older sister(In 6th grade at that time) if she wanted to get high and have sex. Obviously she's freaking out about this. So my friends went and smashed all of his windows with rocks at night. Then he put up cardboard boxes over the windows so we tore them off. After a while he replaced his windows and we just smashed them again. He drove his shit somewhere else after that...

Fuck yeah, good work comrade.

[ellipsis]

for the record, i don't do any drugs anymore, except for weed and booze and coffee.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Fuck yeah, good work comrade.
The creepy thing is that we had talked to him a few times before so he wasn't really a stranger to us and he invited us(my friends and I) into his motor home once and offered us candy. And we did. I'm really surprised he didn't try something that day and when my sister came home crying about that I was like damn, I could have been one of those kids...

[Art Vandelay]

So basically the point of my story is that I'm a drunk (which is romantic, in a sense, cause I'm a writer/journalist/student/Marxist) but in actuality and in the most part pathetic. But some ladies find it romantic and attractive (even if it is just temporarily) so I guess it could be worse.

[Art Vandelay]

for the record, i don't do any drugs anymore, except for weed and booze and coffee.

Haha so you still do drugs....far be it from me to differentiate from drugs, but a drug is anything that changes your state (I'm sure you know that) so those are still drugs.

Edit: But despite the occasional nose candy, I am about the same at this point.

[Art Vandelay]

that kid apparently... the worst part was they called me freaking out and I had to try to help him, to no avail, he could barely speak, let alone communicate.

Well fuck that, I wouldn't of helped him. I never do more, but never less, then an eighth of mush; its really not that much, its actually about as much you need to have a good trip.

[Art Vandelay]

The creepy thing is that we had talked to him a few times before so he wasn't really a stranger to us and he invited us(my friends and I) into his motor home once and offered us candy. And we did. I'm really surprised he didn't try something that day and when my sister came home crying about that I was like damn, I could have been one of those kids...

At least you dealt with it properly (through direct action) once you fully understood the situation. Sounds like no one got hurt and it may have been cause you and your friends acted when you did.

[ellipsis]

Haha so you still do drugs....far be it from me to differentiate from drugs, but a drug is anything that changes your state (I'm sure you know that) so those are still drugs.

Edit: But despite the occasional nose candy, I am about the same at this point.

Right, whereas that list used to include many many more things. Sufficed to say im glad bath salts weren't around back then.

[Art Vandelay]

Right, whereas that list used to include many many more things. Sufficed to say im glad bath salts weren't around back then.

I watched an intervention episode on bath salts and it was messed. Me watching intervention is like an obese person watching the biggest loser ha.

[ellipsis]

yah that dude was crazy, so much so that i was never would ever try them. THE SHADOW PPL!!!!

[Art Vandelay]

yah that dude was crazy, so much so that i was never would ever try them. THE SHADOW PPL!!!!

the last thing i need is to be one my roof with some make shift stick, let alone going to driving ranges with my biological dad who wants nothing to do with me

[ellipsis]

i used to find all kinds of things in the streets of san francisco, crack (one time it was 3 20-rocks), meth, weed, almost full packs of cigarettes, even unspent ammo.

and no i didn't smoke the crack

[A Revolutionary Tool]

I sniffed coke one time the summer before I entered high school. Boy was that weird.

January 11th I was at a metal show in Stockton in a ghetto as fuck area and I dropped my soda can on the ground and I picked it up and said I needed to find a garbage to throw it away in. My friend asked why. Well I don't like to litter. He tells me that's 5 cents, that a homeless person will be thankful to pick up my can. And then I pictured the amount of homeless people I've seen throughout the years pushing around carts full of cans and realized he was right. It was a sad fucking truth, but he was right so I threw it on the ground. I couldn't see any cans on the sides of the road, and this is a main street practically, which means they probably already picked up all the cans that night. I hate capitalism....

[Dennis the 'Bloody Peasant']

I once walked in on a group of middle-aged guys cottaging (right term?) in a public toilet (it was by a park, Sunday afternoon, summer time). I stood in the doorway for a second and they promptly tried to act cool; pulling up their pants and turning away from me.
I walked in, acting casual, went to the sink, for no reason at all washed my hands, dried them and then left. You could have heard a pin drop.
I went for a pee in the bushes instead.

[ellipsis]

I once walked in on a group of middle-aged guys cottaging (right term?) in a public toilet (it was by a park, Sunday afternoon, summer time). I stood in the doorway for a second and they promptly tried to act cool; pulling up their pants and turning away from me.
I walked in, acting casual, went to the sink, for no reason at all washed my hands, dried them and then left. You could have heard a pin drop.
I went for a pee in the bushes instead.

we call that cruising. ive been in similar situations as this...

[A Revolutionary Tool]

I once walked in on a group of middle-aged guys cottaging (right term?) in a public toilet (it was by a park, Sunday afternoon, summer time). I stood in the doorway for a second and they promptly tried to act cool; pulling up their pants and turning away from me.
I walked in, acting casual, went to the sink, for no reason at all washed my hands, dried them and then left. You could have heard a pin drop.
I went for a pee in the bushes instead.

Wait, what were they doing exactly?

[Let's Get Free]

Once upon a time I had a history essay due tomorrow but I kept procrastinating and visiting rev left. So I wrote this story about it, then I realized I should actually be writing my history essay instead.
The end.

[Brutus]

Me and my mate went hubcapping on rich cars about 2-3 years ago. Some bloke in a jeep is still after us...
Also, I fired batteries from a crossbow at my local (conservative) MP.
Duracell sure make good batteries.

[ellipsis]

Wait, what were they doing exactly?

dude you live in cafilorina and youve never encountered this? they were involved in some sort of sex act, anonymously.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Lol I got you now. No, I've never encountered this, but I usually avoid public restrooms, especially at night(to avoid stuff like that). I went to a park restroom at night one time and there was a dude shootin' up heroin so fuck that, I'd rather piss on a tree or whatever.

[PC LOAD LETTER]

i used to find all kinds of things in the streets of san francisco, crack (one time it was 3 20-rocks), meth, weed, almost full packs of cigarettes, even unspent ammo.

and no i didn't smoke the crack
Well I sure hope you didn't let perfectly good crack go to waste. Did you at least give it to a fiend?


Meth, I did that on accident once. Went to a friends house, dude offered me a small line, I thought it was molly or something. NERRRRRRP it wasn't. My face felt like it was on fire. Then I sat in a chair and watched Grandma's Boy three times in a row.

[Questionable]

I got into a massive argument with my girlfriend because I kept criticizing her liberal politics and talking about how superior Marxism was, and she got really exasperated and said "At this point you're just hurting our relationship and you don't care. It's either me or an impossible economic system."

I told her I'd stop talking about politics, but in my head I thought "It's not fucking impossible..."

[ed miliband]

i was walking across campus today and got stopped by a hipster girl who asked to take my photo / interview me about what i was wearing (breton jumper, vintage levi denim jacket, rolled up black skinny jeans, new balance trainers). gonna be featured in something about "street style" or smthg.

[Dennis the 'Bloody Peasant']

Wait, what were they doing exactly?

One guy was on his knees sucking off another guy while a third guy was standing to the side watching with his dick out. Saw this for all of 2 seconds before they hauled up their pants and stood sheepishly, not looking at me

[roy]

my blood was rejected due to the level of alcohol therein. I had a party the weekend before and id forgotten that id volunteered for my school's blood drive on the following Monday. I got to school and just got hustled into a red cross van by the girl at my school who was coordinating it. no amount of water could've saved me at that point. I still feel bad about that

[Art Vandelay]

I would donate blood, except I can`t cause of what is in my system.

[Brutus]

I would donate blood, except I can`t cause of what is in my system.

From your posts I would say about 30% alcohol, 20% nicotine, 20% marajuana, and 30% blood

[Art Vandelay]

Haha I don`t smoke pot as much anymore, but yeah I`d say that is pretty accurate; quite perceptive you are. Occasionally there is another illicit substance in the mix, but I try not to let that happen too often.

[Goblin]

I once farted 38 times in a church. This was about 10 years ago, when norwegian schools still taught religion and visited churches when it was close to christmas. Not sure why i farted so many times, probably to make myself look like an atheist badass in front of the other kids.

[Brutus]

Good to hear. I have my qualms with ciggeretes, but not pipes or cigars- my hypocrisy know no bounds. I am for the legalisation of hemp, though, and all drugs.
Much safer that way, and easier to get help

[Sasha]

i get really weird looks from artists when i do backstage security at my work and I'm there reading Euripides or something like that.
i was once reading Emma Goldman's autobiography though and some guys from Propagandhi came up for a chat when they saw it.

[Art Vandelay]

i get really weird looks from artists when i do backstage security at my work and I'm there reading Euripides or something like that.
i was once reading Emma Goldman's autobiography though and some guys from Propagandhi came up for a chat when they saw it.

That is cool, were they cool guys? They're actually from the same province in Canada as I am. They're not my favorite band, but as far as the politically charged pop-punk stuff goes they're pretty cool. Not sure what their exact politics are, but definitely leftists.

[Sasha]

That is cool, were they cool guys? They're actually from the same province in Canada as I am. They're not my favorite band, but as far as the politically charged pop-punk stuff goes they're pretty cool. Not sure what their exact politics are, but definitely leftists.

Really cool, their "security briefing" when they where playing solo (the backstage thing was during a festival) consisted of "you don't have to set foot in the room unless you enjoy the music, if there are any fash we will take care of them and bring them to you out front. We won't kill them"... And when one of their strings broke they just stopped to change it while the singer gave a political speech, was really suprised to see that. Normally even the most crusty support ban got a rack of spares standing offstage now a days.

[PC LOAD LETTER]

I would donate blood, except I can`t cause of what is in my system.
Have you tried to donate? I donate whenever I can and poke smot regularly (well not in a couple weeks cuz I'm trying to piss clean) and have never been rejected. I mean I don't go in stoned or anything but I know people who have and they weren't rejected either. My buddy gets mail and stuff all the time reminding him to donate because he's O- and he goes in stoned all the time.

[ellipsis]

Well I sure hope you didn't let perfectly good crack go to waste. Did you at least give it to a fiend?

One time i had a homeless friend sell it for me, but he ended up fronting some to a guy and then paying for a hooker(no judgement) with the other and smoking one for himself.

The other time, i went down to the liquor store and found somebody i knew and gave it to him. he was like "i dont wanna get you into this stuff kid", to which i replied "no you don't understand, im giving it to you because i don't want to smoke."


i get really weird looks from artists when i do backstage security at my work and I'm there reading Euripides or something like that.

i had a similar experience, the act was a lesbian alt-rock group (one of them was on the L word), one asked me what i was reading. it was special forces guerrilla warfare manual. she seems shocked.

[Leftsolidarity]

one time when i was younger i got on the roof of a church and took a shit then i got a few cans of axe and some firecrackers and blew up my shit on the roof

[Art Vandelay]

Have you tried to donate? I donate whenever I can and poke smot regularly (well not in a couple weeks cuz I'm trying to piss clean) and have never been rejected. I mean I don't go in stoned or anything but I know people who have and they weren't rejected either. My buddy gets mail and stuff all the time reminding him to donate because he's O- and he goes in stoned all the time.

I am talking about drugs other than marijuana.

[Le Socialiste]

I used to take acid in high school. First time I did it I ended up taking too much, tripping for the entirety of the 'school day' and then some. Memorable moments: watching a film-version of Hamlet, buying pizza for lunch only to give it to a friend because I didn't like the way it 'felt' in my hand, blood on the lights in the men's restroom (actually red paint, didn't know it then), trying to skip math class by 'blending in' with a group of students in a theatre class (didn't work), going to my math class only to take a pop quiz (got a B btw), and driving home afterwards. I can laugh about it now.

Oh, and hotboxing in Berkeley's hills overlooking the entire Bay Area - that was cool.

[Leftsolidarity]

The first time I tripped was at a new years show. I tripped hard and didn't know that I shouldn't be drinking liquor so I sat on my friends lap in the living room with like 30 people in it. I take a chug of some whiskey and before the bottle is even pulled completely away from my mouth I started puking everywhere; all over me, my friends lap, the floor, and the people around me. I was tripping so hard that I didn't even know what was happening and was laughing because it literally looked like I was puking rainbows everywhere.

Most of the people around me started yelling and running out of the way but my buddy didn't even stop telling me whatever story and we continue to sit there talking til like 3 minutes later I'm like "hey man, I think I puked in your lap" I got a "yeah no problem man it don't bother me none."

This wasn't just a little puke either. It was a lot of fuking vomit and we continued to sit for about 15 minutes in my puke til we went back downstairs.



I didn't wash those pants til about a week ago either.

[#FF0000]

a girl i liked invited me to a bar one day with a bunch of her friends and i stayed for about twenty minutes before lying about a tree falling down in my driveway so i could leave

[ed miliband]

had a beer standing next to this guy this evening:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Owens_(musician)

seemed a bit weird tbh. bit of a smackhead.

[zoot_allures]

The other day, my mum phoned me and told me to go buy some eggs. So I went over the road, picked up a box of eggs, and came home. Now, my mum only buys free range eggs, and I thought I'd picked up free ranges (because the colour and shape of the box was the same), but they were actually from caged hens.

It's worth pointing out that my mum wouldn't at all care about this. I could tell her that I accidentally picked up the wrong box of eggs, and that would be that.

Instead of just telling her I made a mistake, I decided I had to get rid of the eggs. I cracked all the eggs in the sink, then crushed the eggshells into bits of toilet paper, which bit by bit I flushed down the toilet. The egg box is cardboard and had laminated paper stuff to it. I tore off the laminated paper, cut it into loads of small pieces, and distributed it around all the bins in the house. I soaked the cardboard box in hot water, mashed it all up into little pieces, which I tend distributed around the bins.

Then I went back to the shop and bought a new box of eggs.

[ellipsis]

The other day, my mum phoned me and told me to go buy some eggs. So I went over the road, picked up a box of eggs, and came home. Now, my mum only buys free range eggs, and I thought I'd picked up free ranges (because the colour and shape of the box was the same), but they were actually from caged hens.

It's worth pointing out that my mum wouldn't at all care about this. I could tell her that I accidentally picked up the wrong box of eggs, and that would be that.

Instead of just telling her I made a mistake, I decided I had to get rid of the eggs. I cracked all the eggs in the sink, then crushed the eggshells into bits of toilet paper, which bit by bit I flushed down the toilet. The egg box is cardboard and had laminated paper stuff to it. I tore off the laminated paper, cut it into loads of small pieces, and distributed it around all the bins in the house. I soaked the cardboard box in hot water, mashed it all up into little pieces, which I tend distributed around the bins.

Then I went back to the shop and bought a new box of eggs.

So wasteful.

[Art Vandelay]

The other day, my mum phoned me and told me to go buy some eggs. So I went over the road, picked up a box of eggs, and came home. Now, my mum only buys free range eggs, and I thought I'd picked up free ranges (because the colour and shape of the box was the same), but they were actually from caged hens.

It's worth pointing out that my mum wouldn't at all care about this. I could tell her that I accidentally picked up the wrong box of eggs, and that would be that.

Instead of just telling her I made a mistake, I decided I had to get rid of the eggs. I cracked all the eggs in the sink, then crushed the eggshells into bits of toilet paper, which bit by bit I flushed down the toilet. The egg box is cardboard and had laminated paper stuff to it. I tore off the laminated paper, cut it into loads of small pieces, and distributed it around all the bins in the house. I soaked the cardboard box in hot water, mashed it all up into little pieces, which I tend distributed around the bins.

Then I went back to the shop and bought a new box of eggs.

You should of at least egged the local pig shack or something.

[Os Cangaceiros]

Maybe ZA's mother will slit his throat if she finds out he bought the wrong variety of eggs. That's the only explanation I can think of!

[Ostrinski]

I eat eggs at least twice a day, over easy. That cholesterol.

[Goblin]

When i was 14 i got locked up in a mental hospital.