"Everyday Sexism" Thread.

[Quail]

In the spirit of the everyday sexism project (http://www.everydaysexism.com/), I thought it might be good to have a thread on here where members can share their experiences of sexism in their day-to-day lives. I think it would be useful not just for the members who have experienced sexism to show solidarity towards one another, but also for the members who might not experience sexism themselves to gain a better understanding of what it is like.

I'll start by reposting something I just put in another thread.

How is this for "everyday sexism"? I took my laptop to the computer shop under my house to get it fixed and the guy told me that I should discuss it with my partner before I made a decision (on whether to get it fixed or whether to buy a new one), and actually wouldn't let me make a decision that day until I'd talked to my partner. It's my laptop and my money that will be paying to have it fixed! When I went back the next day and told him I wanted it fixed, he was like, "And you have spoken to Mr Quail about this?" Seriously, wtf?

[Narcissus]

Much of my family has this notion of the gentleman and the lady gender roles. It's heartbreaking. I am male, and aren't oppressed as such, but it truly is difficult getting through the day - hearing things like 'women think differently'. Comedians telling jokes to this effect, somehow unaware of the irony of the situation that they are perpetuating by reinforcing these gender stereotypes. I offer my solidarity. We will change this world.

[DancingEmma]

Wow, that's horrible Quail. That stuff pisses me off so much. I'd have to fight the urge to tell the guy off and take my laptop somewhere else. Which probably wouldn't accomplish anything, but I just have too little patience for that kind of bullshit.

[Quail]

This probably seems like a small thing, but there is a guy at Judo who always goes on about how small and weak I am when he works as my partner. Okay, my weight category is U52 and he has like 20 kilos on me, but some of my Judo is good, and the cool thing about Judo is that you use your partner's weight against them.

[Pelarys]

Oh I got that too when I was younger and started getting pretty good at Judo, it's already annoying when you're a male so I can only imagine.

[Quail]

Oh I got that too when I was younger and started getting pretty good at Judo, it's already annoying when you're a male so I can only imagine.
It's just patronising. Like earlier he said a roll into an armlock only worked because of my "tiny arms", and every time we fight on the ground he goes on about how unfair it is. To be fair, he's good on the ground because he does jiu jitsu... but I'm not bad on the ground because i can be fast and flexible despite being "small and weak". Also, it's fucking rude to complain about your partner. I often have to work with people 20-30 kilos heavier than me (40-60% heavier) but I don't moan about it.

[PhoenixAsh]

IQUOTE=Quail;2612839]It's just patronising. Like earlier he said a roll into an armlock only worked because of my "tiny arms", and every time we fight on the ground he goes on about how unfair it is. To be fair, he's good on the ground because he does jiu jitsu... but I'm not bad on the ground because i can be fast and flexible despite being "small and weak". Also, it's fucking rude to complain about your partner. I often have to work with people 20-30 kilos heavier than me (40-60% heavier) but I don't moan about it.[/QUOTE]

It isn't just patronizing. It is very likely a form of machismus not being able to accept the fact that he is losing from a woman...does he do this with other men? It is automatic reaction ingrained by patriarchy....men often feel threatened in their masculinity when they lose to a woman....it is consciously and subconsciuously infused into our brain. A man is stronger than a woman. Losing from a woman is only acceptable in private or when you "let her win". Otherwise you are not a real man.

[Lobotomy]

When I got out to dinner with a guy the waiter almost always hands him the check as if I'm incapable of paying for my own shit

[mew]

:x how about being leered at and cat called whenever I go outside without a man? Guys in fb and okc calling me a "*****" for not giving them the attention they feel entitled to? How a lot of men will read this post as me humblebragging about how cute I am? Ehhh

[Lokomotive293]

I use a gender-neutral username in most places on the Internet, and usually, 99.9% of the people I talk to automatically assume I'm male.

[Firebrand]

I didn't really worry about this at the time, but the more I think about it the more it bothers me. I was out clubbing a couple of nights ago, and this guy kept hitting on me. To start with I was flattered but, he didn't leave off, even after I point blank told him he was getting in my personal space. He didn't touch me anywhere personal or say anything crude, he was just slightly too close the whole evening, and kept on dropping hints. At the time I figured that's just what happens, you go out clubbing, guys hit on you and some of them will be fairly persistent. But thinking about it I reckon it's really unfair that when girls go out clubbing they have to expect that sort of thing whereas when guys do then can spend the whole night without being bothered.
I don't mind people asking I mean how else are they gonna know, but once I've made it clear I only want to dance I don't see why that should be considered weird. I go out cause I like drinking and dancing, not because I want to hook up with anyone. Guys can go out just for the drinking and dancing without anyone expecting anything more, so why do guys make this automatic assumption that girls in clubs are all up for it. and If they say you're making them uncomfortable they're just playing hard to get. There's just something not right about any of that.

[Quail]

^ Yes, I find this is worse when you go out with only female friends. I don't really like going out to clubs much anyway, but constant unwanted (and often creepy) attention is one of the things that contributes towards me not enjoying it. One time I was with a couple of female friends and the pub started playing some music so we got up to dance and there were these guys sat just... staring at us as we danced. I felt so uncomfortable I sat back down, though I wish I had confronted them about it. Sometimes by the end of the evening it gets to a point where I just tell guys to fuck off, because I'm tired and too drunk to be polite about it, because it's not like they're particularly respectful. I mean something like, "Hey, do you girls fancy coming back to a party later? There won't be many girls there, so it would be great if you could come," to women you don't know is basically kind of saying, "Hey, there won't be enough people to fuck at the party later, so please come so we have someone to hit on."

[Halert]

Several years a go i went to a club with some friends to talk and drink beer. Then some people came to us an harassed us because we didn't hit on girls and they called us nerds. Maybe this is a rare incident. I avoid clubs not my kind of people and i don't really like dancing.

[Red_Banner]

Well I'm rather annoyed with people regarding so many mixed drinks as "girly".

There's these people that think that in order for you to be a "man", you can only drink things like whiskey, vodka, and beer.

Then this crap in the past few years with these "10 calorie" drinks being advertised as "manly".
What, other diet sodas are feminine?

[Firebrand]

The really annoying thing is that I actually genuinely enjoy clubbing, I like the dancing and the volume and the alcohol and it really pisses me off that guys can't just leave me be to enjoy it. They're basically getting in the way of an activity that I enjoy, because they think it's ok to keep pushing even when you've had enough. I like my personal space and I can't relax and enjoy myself when people keep on getting uncomfortably close. I wonder how many other people have ended up not liking clubs because you can't go to them and expect to be left alone.

[xxxxxx666666]

When in college classes, at least at my university, when everyone introduce themselves: all the guys shake hands, but guys (with some notable exceptions I may add) *usually* don't shake hands with the gals.

[Reticential]

^I've noticed the same thing in both college and job interviews. Mentioned it to a class once and they were really surprised that they hadn't thought about it before. If you do get your hand shook it's what my granddad calls 'wet-fish' handshake. Like they might kiss it.

Not sure if this counts but seeing the UK's current Children In Need campaign where women go 'Bearfaced' for charity everywhere is getting on my nerves. I don't wear make-up so my actual face is a gimmick. And ofc it reinforces the idea that women are supposed to wear it unless they're given special, extenuating circumstances -.-

[Quail]

Not sure if this counts but seeing the UK's current Children In Need campaign where women go 'Bearfaced' for charity everywhere is getting on my nerves. I don't wear make-up so my actual face is a gimmick. And ofc it reinforces the idea that women are supposed to wear it unless they're given special, extenuating circumstances -.-
I had similar thoughts about that. Going without make up to raise money for charity suggests it is something out of the ordinary and a big deal, which I think is quite a sad reflection on our society.

[Alonso Quijano]

:x how about being leered at and cat called whenever I go outside without a man? Guys in fb and okc calling me a "*****" for not giving them the attention they feel entitled to? How a lot of men will read this post as me humblebragging about how cute I am? Ehhh
Honestly, and it may sound patronistic as I am a man, but my instinct says: Hit 'em. Especially in a public space, they won't hit you back.

I really would applaud anyone who will start hitting guys who harrass them in public places.

Direct action. Enough is enough.

[Alonso Quijano]

When I got out to dinner with a guy the waiter almost always hands him the check as if I'm incapable of paying for my own shit
I once went out on a date with a girl who drove us, which I liked because people always tell me "how will you be able to date a girl and go out of town if you don't drive", and she paid for my beer as I didn't work at the time, and she said it's logical that she'll pay because she did have some income. I didn't argue, only thanked her.

Later that evening we agreed that I can be considered feminine but if I would act the same as woman I would be considered the masculine, and the same for her - now not feminine enough, but as a man not masculine enough.

I also don't like the slogan "real men don't rape". I am a man. I never felt "a real man". I have a penis and I never thought of myself as more than a human being with a penis. I despise the notion that there are "real men". Real human beings with emotion and a soul don't rape.

[La Comédie Noire]

My friend was talking about this woman I work with and he said and I quote "It seems like she wants the dick, but doesn't know how to ask."

Mind you he's really tall and good looking so he gets laid pretty regularly, but he can't seem to keep a long term relationship. I wonder why...

[Sinister Intents]

"Look at that ass, tthat's nice!" Being around a man who constantly talks aobut women like that is so fucking annoying

[Sea]

"Look at that ass, tthat's nice!" Being around a man who constantly talks aobut women like that is so fucking annoyingI don't think I'd be able to sit through shit like that without calling them out very loudly. Why do you even put up with it?

[Sinister Intents]

I don't think I'd be able to sit through shit like that without calling them out very loudly. Why do you even put up with it?

'Tis a person I'm very close to and doing so wouldn't be very good, I do however let him know I find it obnoxious and disgusting. He justifies it by saying something akin to it's normal of normal men. I hate it so fucking much.

[Sea]

'Tis a person I'm very close to and doing so wouldn't be very good, I do however let him know I find it obnoxious and disgusting.It's not that you find it obnoxious and disgusting, it's that it's sick and creepy. If you tell him that you don't like it he'll think it's just you.

He justifies it by saying something akin to it's normal of normal men. I hate it so fucking much.Shit, I'd love to hear him elaborate on that. :rolleyes:

At least it's not your boss...

[Sinister Intents]

It's not that you find it obnoxious and disgusting, it's that it's sick and creepy. If you tell him that you don't like it he'll think it's just you.
Shit, I'd love to hear him elaborate on that. :rolleyes:

At least it's not your boss...

Indeed it is sick and creepy, haha... technically he is my boss. He has heart issues and me telling him to stop pisses him off and I don't want to trigger his problems...

[Bea Arthur]

Indeed it is sick and creepy, haha... technically he is my boss. He has heart issues and me telling him to stop pisses him off and I don't want to trigger his problems...

He has heart issues all right. He doesn't have a heart!! People like this need to be quarantined from society and instructed carefully and systematically on how to treat women humanely instead of as pieces of male-serving meat. If they fail to comply, other measures will be necessary.

[Sinister Intents]

He has heart issues all right. He doesn't have a heart!! People like this need to be quarantined from society and instructed carefully and systematically on how to treat women humanely instead of as pieces of male-serving meat. If they fail to comply, other measures will be necessary.

I thoroughly agree comrade! But this is my father, he won't listen to me because I'm his child and he thinks he's sooo superior in thought in regards to this. I've argued it too many times with him, perhaps I'm needing better counter arguments.

[Quail]

So, went out with two other women last night. This guy started dancing at us and we told him we weren't interested. So he continued, and then got up on the table we were sitting at and danced at us. He was told to go away and leave us alone multiple times, but he stayed around our table and kept dancing at us and harassing other women. I went to the bouncers and they threw him out thankfully (I was worried they would just dismiss my concerns), which was lucky because if I hadn't thought of that my next plan was to punch him in the face, which would have got me kicked out.

Edit: I rarely go out with only women and literally every time I do we get harassed by some fucking arsehole.

[Sinister Intents]

That sucks a lot Quail :( similar things have happened to my sister. He was literally dancing at y'all? Good he got thrown out :) it would be awesome if he got punched though, he probably will eventually.

[Quail]

Yes, literally dancing on our table and shaking his crotch in our faces. Seriously why does this always happen.

[Sinister Intents]

Yes, literally dancing on our table and shaking his crotch in our faces. Seriously why does this always happen.

Scary... he sounds like he deserved a good arse kicking! That's disturbing this shit happens.

My sister when she was about 12 had a 16 boy show her his cock. She screamed and started to call for help. My grandfather reprimanded him accordingly. Too long ago for me to remember everything exactly. Men and boys are sick in patriarchal society.

[Bostana]

I was arguing with my brothers friend about whether or not the Miss World beauty pageant is sexist or not. He believed ranking women on looks isn't sexist. It eventually evolved into him denying the existence of the pay gap

[consuming negativity]

I was arguing with my brothers friend about whether or not the Miss World beauty pageant is sexist or not. He believed ranking women on looks isn't sexist. It eventually evolved into him denying the existence of the pay gap

It's like the feminist equivalent of when "that's kinda racist" turns into "why isn't there a WHITE entertainment television?"

[The Jay]

I don't really understand going clubbing that much but I always thought it was fucked up how misogynist the whole clubbing-as-a-process thing is from the male perspective. If the women want to dance and not be bothered then they should be able to do so without douche-bags coming to spoil their fun.

[Bostana]

"why isn't there a WHITE entertainment television?"

I've been asked this before, I always respond, "I think it would be called FOX, NBC ,CBS......"

[Sinister Intents]

In high school I remember a kid named Andrew telling this girl to get on her knees and open her mouth so he could piss in it. She said fuck you. He replied later that night, now get on your knees so I can piss in your mouth fucking girl. He wouldn't shut the fuck up and I told the teacher what he was saying and she did nothing. He continued to harass the girl and I told him to stop and he ignored me. He's such a fucking douchebag and I'm so glad I never have to deal with that fascist fucker ever again.

[Remus Bleys]

So today I got into a big fight with my sister over anorexia. I told them I refused to believe that anorexia was the result of persohnal moral failings, and the response I got from her was "its just stupid teenage girls who want attention. They choose not to eat." Then later "okay so you're right like fifty percent then remus" "where do you get that statistic from!?!?" After that I got sent to my room. Later my mom sent her upstairs so we could make up. "I have my opinion and you have yours and that's okay" so I told her it wasn't, that line of thought is dangerous, unscientific, incorrrect, and just ends up alienating people with diseases and blaming the individual for a societal problem. So I got grounded because my mom and my sister are anti feminists.

[Full Metal Bolshevik]

Well, I had a friend in Highschool and we had similar tastes and had many laughs at expense of racist and sexist jokes. But for me, they were jokes, for him, they were more than that.

Today we talked on skype and began discussing several topics. And I asked him if he was sexist, he said men and women should have the same rights but different duties. I asked what, and he said the most sexist thing I've read this week:

'men should have the duty to give his life for a women and women should have the duty to make men's life more pleasant'.

It's sad, because I had some good moments with him, specially because we were both kinda asocial, but he's really a racist, sexist bastard. I'm trying to understand why and what circumstances made him become like this now.

[Lily Briscoe]

So today I got into a big fight with my sister over anorexia. I told them I refused to believe that anorexia was the result of persohnal moral failings, and the response I got from her was "its just stupid teenage girls who want attention. They choose not to eat." Then later "okay so you're right like fifty percent then remus" "where do you get that statistic from!?!?" After that I got sent to my room. Later my mom sent her upstairs so we could make up. "I have my opinion and you have yours and that's okay" so I told her it wasn't, that line of thought is dangerous, unscientific, incorrrect, and just ends up alienating people with diseases and blaming the individual for a societal problem. So I got grounded because my mom and my sister are anti feminists.

So wait, an example of "sexism" was when your mom grounded you for fighting with your sister...? Well that makes...total sense.. :unsure:

[Remus Bleys]

So wait, an example of "sexism" was when your mom grounded you for fighting with your sister...? Well that makes...total sense..
are you fucking stupid?
the case of sexism was when my mother and sister derided anorexia as being "teenage girls wanting attention"

[adipocere]

So today I got into a big fight with my sister over anorexia. I told them I refused to believe that anorexia was the result of persohnal moral failings, and the response I got from her was "its just stupid teenage girls who want attention. They choose not to eat." Then later "okay so you're right like fifty percent then remus" "where do you get that statistic from!?!?" After that I got sent to my room. Later my mom sent her upstairs so we could make up. "I have my opinion and you have yours and that's okay" so I told her it wasn't, that line of thought is dangerous, unscientific, incorrrect, and just ends up alienating people with diseases and blaming the individual for a societal problem. So I got grounded because my mom and my sister are anti feminists.

It sounds like you got grounded for being obnoxious.

[Remus Bleys]

It sounds like you got grounded for being obnoxious.
missing the point, arent we? but of course you, "feminism is liberalism," would miss the point anyway.

The point isn't that I got grounded, the point is that anorexia is regarded as personal moral failure.

[Marshal of the People]

missing the point, arent we? but of course you, "feminism is liberalism," would miss the point anyway.

The point isn't that I got grounded, the point is that anorexia is regarded as personal moral failure.

I totally agree with all Remus has said.

[Lily Briscoe]

are you fucking stupid? yes, I'm "fucking stupid"

the case of sexism was when my mother and sister derided anorexia as being "teenage girls wanting attention"
I don't think some kid having to listen to his sister's misunderstanding/mischaracterization of anorexia is in any way an example of "sexism". Quite a few of the posts in this thread come across as really clueless and detached from reality, yours being a prime example.

[Art Vandelay]

yes, I'm "fucking stupid"
I don't think some kid having to listen to his sister's misunderstanding/mischaracterization of anorexia is in any way an example of "sexism". Quite a few of the posts in this thread come across as really clueless and detached from reality, yours being a prime example.

For the statement that anorexia/eating disorders are the result of personal moral or constitutional failures (which I totally disagree with for the record), to be considered sexist, one would have to assume that eating disorders only effect females, which is completely false. Regardless, the stigma that individuals who suffer from eating disorders are forced to go through, is probably more in line with what people who suffer from mental illness do, rather than what women face under patriarchy.

[Remus Bleys]

For the statement that anorexia/eating disorders are the result of personal moral or constitutional failures (which I totally disagree with for the record), to be considered sexist, one would have to assume that eating disorders only effect females, which is completely false.
they explicitly mentioned "teenage girls" and are we going to act as if that eating disorders are not commonly associated with women, ie another manifestation of sexism?

[Art Vandelay]

they explicitly mentioned "teenage girls" and are we going to act as if that eating disorders are not commonly associated with women, ie another manifestation of sexism?

In all honesty I think the fact that eating disorders are predominantly seen as a female problem, is an example of the ways in which men can also experience negative aspects of hetero-patriarchy. The fact that men with eating disorders so often and consistently get the misdiagnosis of 'depression,' when they have severe changes in their food consumption, can lead to many people not getting the treatment and help they deserve. And I wasn't trying to say that your post wasn't an example of sexism. Anyways the fact that your family members mischaracterized anorexia/eating disorders as solely the problems of 'teenage girls' who choose not to eat, would have indeed pissed me off too.

[Bostana]

It sounds like you got grounded for being obnoxious.

Or because most parents can't stand having their authority questioned by their kids.

[Sinister Intents]

Or because most parents can't stand having their authority questioned by their kids.

I get that a lot, and I'm 21. My parents hate when I say pro feminist things and attack their sexism. Like when I do attack my father's sexist statements

[consuming negativity]

missing the point, arent we? but of course you, "feminism is liberalism," would miss the point anyway.

The point isn't that I got grounded, the point is that anorexia is regarded as personal moral failure.

To elaborate on your point here, it's also important to note that disorders that are more associated with women - either by them being more common in women, or by them being seen as more "feminine" - tend to beget similar victim-blaming and belittling of the problem. Same with problems in general, really.

...Still, I can't help but giggle at the thought of our revolutionary friend being cruelly oppressed by mommy. :laugh:

[Bostana]

This thread is genius.:)
I will enjoy venting my frustration on this thread.

Last year in health, we were talking about rape and no meaning no and all that stuff. Oh my fucking god so many fucking rape apologist it pissed me off. Literally all the boys in the class saying most rapes are made up by loose women.

I hate my school

[Sinister Intents]

This thread is genius.:)
I will enjoy venting my frustration on this thread.

Indeed :) thanks Quail for starting it!!! I expected it to be used a lot more though since it was started.

[Brotto Rühle]

It sounds like you got grounded for being obnoxious.

Sounds like he got grounded for lame reasons. I outright told my mother to "shut the fuck up with that racist shit" when she said one day she wanted the Muslims to go back to "their own countries". I was like 16, easily a groundable age. She told me to watch my mouth, end of convo. She since reformed a bit... I guess working in Saudi Arabia alongside Muslims helped her a bit. I digress, grounded for lame reasons.

[Yuppie Grinder]

Last year I found out about my ex-girlfriend getting raped at a party. I felt horrible about it of course, but the guy who told me about it thought it was hilarious. I didn't even know what to do or say. Haven't talked to him sense.

Sounds like he got grounded for lame reasons. I outright told my mother to "shut the fuck up with that racist shit" when she said one day she wanted the Muslims to go back to "their own countries". I was like 16, easily a groundable age. She told me to watch my mouth, end of convo. She since reformed a bit... I guess working in Saudi Arabia alongside Muslims helped her a bit. I digress, grounded for lame reasons.

damn dog my mom would be mad as hell if i said some shit like that

[Sinister Intents]

Last year I found out about my ex-girlfriend getting raped at a party. I felt horrible about it of course, but the guy who told me about it thought it was hilarious. I didn't even know what to do or say. Haven't talked to him sense.

That is dreadfully fucking scary someone would find that fucking hilarious:mad:

[Yuppie Grinder]

That is dreadfully fucking scary someone would find that fucking hilarious:mad:

the guy's a sociopath
at the age of 14 he pushed a mentally disabled child into the street during busy traffic

[Quail]

Can we keep the thread civil please?

I think it is sexist to characterise anorexia as "teenage girls wanting attention" and "choosing not to eat". As well as it obviously not being a choice, I can't think of an illness which would be described as "teenage boys wanting attention". I think the discussion around mental illness in teenagers can often seem geared towards dismissing it as something teenage girls do to get attention. Which is obviously harmful to teenagers (and people in general) of all genders who suffer from mental illness.

[ComradeChe]

I don't know if this counts as sexism or not, but I noticed that most cleaning detergents, dish washing soaps and other house cleaning related instructions are directed to women. My roommate pointed out a semi-valid point that this might be because in Arabic there is no non-gender specific sentence, and the subject must be identified as male or female (in Arabic a suffix attached to the verb defines the gender of the subject). This explanation made sense but I still think it is sexist to assume that only a woman would read these instructions, so I was wondering if some of you have noticed this in other languages?

[Halert]

My professor calls his male students by their last name and his female students by their first name. I asked him why he said it was because it is a common thing to do in japan.

[Full Metal Bolshevik]

My professor calls his male students by their last name and his female students by their first name. I asked him why he said it was because it is a common thing to do in japan.
Hmm, my knowledge of Japan mostly comes from movies and anime, so someone correct me if I'm wrong...

In Japan, calling by the first name means the person is close to you, i.e best friends, younger siblings, lovers.
Calling by their family name is the most common sometimes adding san (formal) Calling by their first name often comes with kun or chan (informal) at the end, but they can add that to last names too.
It's a bit confusing, it's also common to use chan and kun honorifics with children.

So it seems odd he calls the girls by their first name but the boys by their last. I'd say it's even creepy because it seems he wants to feel closer to the girls than to the boys.

[Halert]

Hmm, my knowledge of Japan mostly comes from movies and anime, so someone correct me if I'm wrong...

In Japan, calling by the first name means the person is close to you, i.e best friends, younger siblings, lovers.
Calling by their family name is the most common sometimes adding san (formal) Calling by their first name often comes with kun or chan (informal) at the end, but they can add that to last names too.
It's a bit confusing, it's also common to use chan and kun honorifics with children.



That would apply if they had to same social status.
A professor is clearly far above a student. So different rules apply.
just using someones name without honorifics is oke if you are above that person in the social status.
My professor is not using honorific for when talking to students, he could but he doesn't because he wants to get closer to his students.

A fellow male student called a senior female student by her first name + chan. That girl got angry because he was disrespectful. he was below that girl in social status so he had to use last name and san.

If that student was also a senior it would have been no problem because he would have the same social status.


So it seems odd he calls the girls by their first name but the boys by their last. I'd say it's even creepy because it seems he wants to feel closer to the girls than to the boys.


no, it doesn't mean that at all. My professor in particular is not sexist but he is conforming to a sexist norm where males get called by their last name more often then woman do.

[Sinister Intents]

Last night I mentioned how I talk to other people on the internet to my father. He starts by asking like who I talk to and I told him that I talk to people who hold similar beliefs as I do. He asked if I was talking to any girls. I said yeah, why? Then he said oh man you should send pictures to them and see if you can get pictures back. He was referring to nude photos. I said how about no you fucking jackass and walked out of the room. What kind of guy do you think I am asshole. I'm not that fucking kid Brandon who would talk to random girls on the internet just to get them to send pictures like that are potentially compromising and damaging to them. Brandon is the kind of guy who'll be like hey man look at this. He forced me to see a picture of his naked ex and a few others and he was distributing the fucking pictures! He used to also send me random pictures of girls and I told him to stop and he just started calling me queer, faggot, et cetera.

[Full Metal Bolshevik]

Sending and receiving pics is not sexism. Distributing naked pics of your ex's is not sexist on itself, it's just being a douchebag.

[Sinister Intents]

Sending and receiving pics is not sexism. Distributing naked pics of your ex's is not sexist on itself, it's just being a douchebag.

Yeah well my father and that guy are very sexist comrade, that and sexuality bothers me and often triggers anxiety in me.

[Quail]

Sending and receiving pics is not sexism. Distributing naked pics of your ex's is not sexist on itself, it's just being a douchebag.

I think it is all part of the mindset of the objectification of women, being more interested in trying to get naked pictures than forming real connections. Plus this

He asked if I was talking to any girls. I said yeah, why? Then he said oh man you should send pictures to them and see if you can get pictures back. He was referring to nude photos.
is super creepy. You don't send naked pictures to people unless you know that the other person wants to see them and/or reciprocate. It's the internet equivalent of flashing someone in a sexual way and is completely not on. Women are much more likely to receive inappropriately sexual messages on the internet so I think what was being described in the post above is sexist because it's that kind of mindset which means women continue to have to deal with guys feeling entitled to their bodies.

Also, distributing naked pictures of an ex-girlfriend for "revenge" does come from a place of sexism imo, conscious or otherwise. If women's bodies weren't meant to be hidden away and kept "pure" there would be no power to naked pictures, because nobody would think any more or less of the woman for having taken them.

[#FF0000]

Sending and receiving pics is not sexism. Distributing naked pics of your ex's is not sexist on itself, it's just being a douchebag.

Yo but we're talking about a phenomenon ("revenge porn") that targets and affects women way, way disproportionately to men.

[Full Metal Bolshevik]

^
Correct, but that's why I said the action on itself is not sexist, the mindset, can and often is.

[#FF0000]

No action is anything when you look at it "by itself" i.e. totally devoid of context. But actions don't place in a vacuum.

[Sinister Intents]

^
Correct, but that's why I said the action on itself is not sexist, the mindset, can and often is.

-trigger warning-
I believe actions can be thoroughly sexist and harmful. Especially certain other people I can think of like my neighbor arguing some rape is understandable. He said roughly "If she's a virgin and chickens out of a fucking then it's completely justifiable to rape the girl. Who knows maybe she'll like it." I should also note my neighbor has raped a girl. He never got fucking arrested :Cursing:

[Quail]

^ What? That's on like a whole other level and I don't even know what to say to that. He is a danger to the women in your community.

[Sinister Intents]

^ What? That's on like a whole other level and I don't even know what to say to that. He is a danger to the women in your community.

Indeed he is a danger... Like I've told you before there are so many sex offenders in my area its disgusting. Should I upload the map website for that? I'd have to find it, but I don't know if its a good idea...

[Sinister Intents]

I just had an ex friend of mine explain to me how he broke up with a girl because she looks ugly when she's sleeping. He's such a pig.

[consuming negativity]

I just had an ex friend of mine explain to me how he broke up with a girl because she looks ugly when she's sleeping. He's such a pig.

In his defense, she's probably much better off without him.

[Kazu]

Yo but we're talking about a phenomenon ("revenge porn") that targets and affects women way, way disproportionately to men.

Exactly. Revenge porn is another way for men to reinforce their entitlement to female bodies, hence the word "revenge" in it. The man gets dumped or rejected, and because he feels entitled to the woman's body, he distributes pictures as a form of "revenge". The fact that the word "revenge" is used implies that the woman did something wrong for simply saying "no".

[PhoenixAsh]

The fact that the word "revenge" is used implies that the woman did something wrong for simply saying "no".

Agreeing with you on the revenge porn part which is loathsome in any circumstance.

But....

....this last statement is a wrong conclusion. Revenge does not directly imply somebody "simply" said no. Just because somebody takes revenge says nothing about what the other person did at all.

edit: Just an example. But I know a person who said yes right up until the very morning they "said" no...by getting the other one fired because they found somebody else.

[PhoenixAsh]

Indeed he is a danger... Like I've told you before there are so many sex offenders in my area its disgusting. Should I upload the map website for that? I'd have to find it, but I don't know if its a good idea...

No. Not a good idea.

Is he registered though? Unfortunately there are a lot of guys who think it is a good image story to brag to other guys they did some girl even though she didn't want to.

[PhoenixAsh]

I just had an ex friend of mine explain to me how he broke up with a girl because she looks ugly when she's sleeping. He's such a pig.

Not sure if it is sexist or just ridiculously shallow...

[Sinister Intents]

No. Not a good idea.

Is he registered though? Unfortunately there are a lot of guys who think it is a good image story to brag to other guys they did some girl even though she didn't want to.

I didn't upload it.

He isn't registered, but he certainly is a horrible bragger. When he worked with us he bragged about it and he brought up rape apologia, I was sitting behind him in the car and felt like choking him with my headphones until his face turned blue.

[Trap Queen Voxxy]

Being called princess for no reason during argument.

[Sinister Intents]

Being called princess for no reason during argument.

I think that's creepy :( how did that feel?

[Rosa Partizan]

Sending and receiving pics is not sexism. Distributing naked pics of your ex's is not sexist on itself, it's just being a douchebag.

I wouldn't say so. The consequences for the woman being exposed in such a way are VERY sexist and that is why such douchebaggery exists, guys doing this are fully aware of it. A woman's existence can be - which is in no way exaggerated - nearly destroyed when very private material is distributed en masse. Doing the same to a man will not have NEARLY as awful consequences as for a woman. I have NEVER heard of revenge porn distributed by a woman showing her ex-boyfriend. But feel free to prove me wrong.

[Kazu]

The sexist people who have been harassing me are at it again.

[Rosa Partizan]

I remember one time being to a club and someone smacked my butt. When I turned around, it was a really cute girl smiling at me and saying "great ass!". And I couldn't help but smile back and saying "thank you". However, if it had been a guy, it would've been an apocalypse now-remake in his face. Does this twofold reaction makes me kind of a sexist?

[Quail]

I remember one time being to a club and someone smacked my butt. When I turned around, it was a really cute girl smiling at me and saying "great ass!". And I couldn't help but smile back and saying "thank you". However, if it had been a guy, it would've been an apocalypse now-remake in his face. Does this twofold reaction makes me kind of a sexist?

I think that smacking someone's bum is an unacceptable invasion of someone's body regardless of who does it. I think it's degrading, personally, and obviously when a stranger does it it's kind of violating. I think I would feel more uneasy if it was a man doing it, but I've actually never had anything like that from a woman so I can't say for sure. I think when a man does it, it's worse because it happens in the specific context of a society where men sexually harass and do inappropriate things to women a lot, and it can be intimidating because I'm guessing most of us have been in that situation where you say "no" to a man and that "no" is ignored, whereas it's less likely (but not impossible of course) that we've had the same from a woman.

[Kazu]

There is often sexist stuff on my Facebook wall. I usually chime in when something is subconsciously sexist. They don't realize they are being sexist, but they are. For example, this meme:

https://scontent-a-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1/1506599_10152286925710695_1126787498_n.jpg

The person who made this meme is obviously male, since only males have the privilege of simply closing the computer when they are being trolled. With women, the offensive material escalates to dangerous material pretty quickly, whether we respond to the trolls or not.

[ToxicAcidRed]

When I was at the bus stop today the men (even thuggish looking ones) were not hesitant to allow women to enter first. Even while I was on the bus the men would give up their seats for women. I for one though it was good.

[Kazu]

When I call out a male friend on my Facebook list about their sexism, to deconstruct what they said, I get this angry response:

http://imageshack.com/a/img843/2252/mc66.jpg

[E-Shock Executioner]

This probably seems like a small thing, but there is a guy at Judo who always goes on about how small and weak I am when he works as my partner. Okay, my weight category is U52 and he has like 20 kilos on me, but some of my Judo is good, and the cool thing about Judo is that you use your partner's weight against them.

Bah

Judo

I have gun, gun make brain go Boom! :)

[Quail]

When I was at the bus stop today the men (even thuggish looking ones) were not hesitant to allow women to enter first. Even while I was on the bus the men would give up their seats for women. I for one though it was good.

I'm a bit confused by this post. Are you saying you think it's a good thing that men give up seats for women? I think it's patronising.

[Sinister Intents]

Bah

Judo

I have gun, gun make brain go Boom! :)

I like my .30-06, but judo is significantly cooler.

My sister keeps calling other women she doesn't like the C word. I hate that fucking word

[Atsumari]

This has been a common theme throughout the thread and sexism in general, but would stating that men and women have to go through the same difficulty to imply that women are simply whining count as everyday sexism?

Also, when addressing women's issues, what do you think when someone tries to shut down the conversation by saying something like "Let's not call it feminism, let's call it human rights"

[E-Shock Executioner]

I like my .30-06, but judo is significantly cooler.

My sister keeps calling other women she doesn't like the C word. I hate that fucking word

Does judo make brain splats al over flur?

I think not!

[Kazu]

I'm a bit confused by this post. Are you saying you think it's a good thing that men give up seats for women? I think it's patronising.

I have a habit of giving up my seat for anyone older than me, pregnant women, or whoever. It's not always patronising, it's protocol in some cultures.

[Quail]

I have a habit of giving up my seat for anyone older than me, pregnant women, or whoever. It's not always patronising, it's protocol in some cultures.

It depends on the situation really. I would offer my seat to a pregnant woman or someone who needed the seat more than I did.

[Rosa Partizan]

This has been a common theme throughout the thread and sexism in general, but would stating that men and women have to go through the same difficulty to imply that women are simply whining count as everyday sexism?

Also, when addressing women's issues, what do you think when someone tries to shut down the conversation by saying something like "Let's not call it feminism, let's call it human rights"

This kind of denies the systematic oppression, exploitation and objectification of women. Human rights is more something like, well, let's stop political prosecution, let's help illegal immigrants etc. But there are several problems that are almost exclusively women's issues, like FGM, forced prostitution, killing babies because of their gender etc.

[Kazu]

This kind of denies the systematic oppression, exploitation and objectification of women. Human rights is more something like, well, let's stop political prosecution, let's help illegal immigrants etc. But there are several problems that are almost exclusively women's issues, like FGM, forced prostitution, killing babies because of their gender etc.

Yes, but usually people who take the "human rights" angle when talking about issues that affect women are sexist, and want to maintain the status-quo by making it about everybody. It's kind of like when someone derails discussions about issues that disproportionately affect people of a certain race by saying "I don't see race", when they say that it's just a way to maintain white/male supremacy.

[Kazu]

I was sharing my experience with harassment and was accused of lying about it, not communicating properly, or it was turned around to make it about me.

In the past, I was also told I brought it on myself.

Rape culture is not just about rape.

All violent acts towards women are treated the same.

[Sinister Intents]

I just got called a 'fag' for not objectifying a women on TV. "Dad, you're fucking son is a queer for not saying that women is beautiful." Fuck you sister.

[La Comédie Noire]

The word ***** seems to have been invented solely so men don't have to admit or cede power to a woman in argument.

"She's a *****."

Why not call her a jerk? My friend the other day called me out on how I call women whose behavior I find rude "jerks".

"Why not call them *****es?"

Because it's unnecessarily hateful and jerk works fine.

Jerk implies a sense of power, someone whose a jerk has a strong personality which sometimes spills over into excess. To call someone a ***** is to put them lower and to call them out on behavior that is deemed unfit for that lowly station. I think that's part of the reason why men use the word *****. It would be admitting what in their minds is an unnatural power imbalance if they were to simply call a women a jerk. It's a way of pushing them back down to where they think they belong.

[Agent Ducky]

The other day I was venting to an online friend (straight, male) about how it's been hard for me to make a lot of friends in my first year of college as I've been commuting and don't spend a lot of time on campus outside my classes. He responded by saying something like "Oh, that should be easy for you though, because you're such a pretty girl" and like, I dunno. It was really weird because it was clear that he wasn't just trying to hit on me and clearly thought that being attractive and female makes socializing a cakewalk.
It also showed this attitude I've noticed from a lot of straight guys that's like "I am attracted to this person therefore everyone else must be" and it's just weird. Am I right to feel unsettled by that?

[Multiaccounting]

I would probably feel unsettled by this as well. Yes, I am a female and I do have good looks, but it's still a challenge for me to go out there and make friends easily. And I also hardly have guys come up to me and try to talk to me or flirt. So I think you have a right to feel unsettled.

[Bala Perdida]

Today I had to write a sort of in class essay for school and the prompt was that women must step up to positions of authority and men must make room for them by pulling their weight at home. Something like that. The prompt was heavily influenced by the Sheryl Sandberg book Lean In (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lean_In). I agreed with the prompt to an extent I guess. I brought up the usual patriarchy and gender role traditions must be abolished for society to progress, and I brought up the statistics that women make less than men in the workplace. I guess the source that is the mindset that women have a man to support them, but it's not true. I managed to squeeze in the fact that my sister is a college graduate para-educator in a decent school district and is still barley living above the poverty line. Thank god she has roommates I guess.

I also brought up how women are still very much oppressed in the world. I was relating it to a statement by Sandberg in the prompt saying that women should be in charge of half our countries. I said that having women in charge could end the abuse they face in countries like Iraq and Saudi Arabia, plus the international problem of women being forced into prostitution. I also brought up that men need to stop participating in the rape culture that makes prostitution seem okay. Although I'm an :reda:nti-statist I figured that for this essay that could be seen as a start towards popular emancipation, by ending gender oppression.

The last point I mentioned was women being in management in the workplace. I started by denouncing the hierarchy of the workplace as oppressive with-in itself, but I said that if women where to be in these positions this could bring down the hierarchy in the workplace.

Overall I liked writing it. Also I think that my word choice and implied opposition to authority made it clear that I'm an anti-capitalist feminist supporter.:grin:

[Lily Briscoe]

Today I had to write a sort of in class essay for school and the prompt was that women must step up to positions of authority and men must make room for them by pulling their weight at home. Something like that. The prompt was heavily influenced by the Sheryl Sandberg book Lean In (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lean_In). I agreed with the prompt to an extent I guess. I brought up the usual patriarchy and gender role traditions must be abolished for society to progress, and I brought up the statistics that women make less than men in the workplace. I guess the source that is the mindset that women have a man to support them, but it's not true. I managed to squeeze in the fact that my sister is a college graduate para-educator in a decent school district and is still barley living above the poverty line. Thank god she has roommates I guess.

I also brought up how women are still very much oppressed in the world. I was relating it to a statement by Sandberg in the prompt saying that women should be in charge of half our countries. I said that having women in charge could end the abuse they face in countries like Iraq and Saudi Arabia, plus the international problem of women being forced into prostitution. I also brought up that men need to stop participating in the rape culture that makes prostitution seem okay. Although I'm an :reda:nti-statist I figured that for this essay that could be seen as a start towards popular emancipation, by ending gender oppression.

The last point I mentioned was women being in management in the workplace. I started by denouncing the hierarchy of the workplace as oppressive with-in itself, but I said that if women where to be in these positions this could bring down the hierarchy in the workplace.

Overall I liked writing it. Also I think that my word choice and implied opposition to authority made it clear that I'm an anti-capitalist feminist supporter.:grin:
Almost all of my supervisors/managers have been women. I don't see what difference it makes. Nor do I see why having more female heads of state would change anything. I get that it's something for school, so if you were just bullshitting then that's fine and a different story, but otherwise, I think those arguments are kind of shit, no offense...

[Bala Perdida]

Almost all of my supervisors/managers have been women. I don't see what difference it makes. Nor do I see why having more female heads of state would change anything. I get that it's something for school, so if you were just bullshitting then that's fine and a different story, but otherwise, I think those arguments are kind of shit, no offense...
Jajaja! I hear you. We only had an hour or so to write this and I couldn't just ignore the hierarchy problem so I took the easy way out and said this could be a solution to hierarchy among other things. If I chose to attack Sandberg's arguments I would've taken much longer and used much more paper.

[Red Planet]

man I feel so horrible reading through this thread. You Western women lead such difficult lives. Jeez. I don't know how you do it! The patriarchy is everywhere at all times, peeking up your skirts or down your blouses--provided that some of you still wear such outdated articles of patriarchal bondage. You're all brave and strong, more than any male pig.

I mean, shit, I read through this thread and wept (and I'm perfectly comfortable enough in my masculinity to admit that--dare I say, proudly) at the foul injustices that all of you females face on a daily basis. I notice all the homeless men in my city, but then I recall the experiences women describe online, what with not being presented with the dining check first, having your first name called instead of your last in a classroom, being grounded by your sexist mother for arguing with your sexist sister over a sexist issue like anorexia,which doesn't affect males at all obviously,being asked to share nude pics, being called princess, being hit on, being given advice by a guy, being called pretty, etc etc etc., and I am instantly reminded that those men are clearly privileged in comparison by virtue of their patriarchal class position.

[#FF0000]

man I feel so horrible reading through this thread. You Western women lead such difficult lives. Jeez. I don't know how you do it! The patriarchy is everywhere at all times, peeking up your skirts or down your blouses--provided that some of you still wear such outdated articles of patriarchal bondage. You're all brave and strong, more than any male pig.

I mean, shit, I read through this thread and wept (and I'm perfectly comfortable enough in my masculinity to admit that--dare I say, proudly) at the foul injustices that all of you females face on a daily basis. I notice all the homeless men in my city, but then I recall the experiences women describe online, what with not being presented with the dining check first, having your first name called instead of your last in a classroom, being grounded by your sexist mother for arguing with your sexist sister over a sexist issue like anorexia,which doesn't affect males at all obviously,being asked to share nude pics, being called princess, being hit on, being given advice by a guy, being called pretty, etc etc etc., and I am instantly reminded that those men are clearly privileged in comparison by virtue of their patriarchal class position.

"heh that'll show those *****es" he said with a satisfied grin, slowly fading as his righteous anger subsided and the blood rushing in his ears was replaced with the ever present, all encompassing silence of an empty life.

[Lily Briscoe]

man I feel so horrible reading through this thread. You Western women lead such difficult lives. Jeez. I don't know how you do it! The patriarchy is everywhere at all times, peeking up your skirts or down your blouses--provided that some of you still wear such outdated articles of patriarchal bondage. You're all brave and strong, more than any male pig.

I mean, shit, I read through this thread and wept (and I'm perfectly comfortable enough in my masculinity to admit that--dare I say, proudly) at the foul injustices that all of you females face on a daily basis. I notice all the homeless men in my city, but then I recall the experiences women describe online, what with not being presented with the dining check first, having your first name called instead of your last in a classroom, being grounded by your sexist mother for arguing with your sexist sister over a sexist issue like anorexia,which doesn't affect males at all obviously,being asked to share nude pics, being called princess, being hit on, being given advice by a guy, being called pretty, etc etc etc.,

Maybe next time rather than beating around the bush with a whining passive-aggressive post, you could just state your actual opinion?

Do you really believe that going on an internet forum and reading some thread in which the overwhelming majority of contributions are from teenage males is an accurate way of gauging whether women in the west experience structural discrimination/oppression on any level?

[consuming negativity]

but what about the men?

also, poor quality trolling and/or bad opinions

Red planet, eh? I hear Mars is great this time of year. You should go check it out, and then never come back.

[#FF0000]

Person: "Someone said I was articulate for a black person and it felt kinda shitty"

Red Planet: "WOW YOU'RE SO OPPRESSED FOR GETTING COMPLIMENTS did you know people are homeless sometimes?"

[Lily Briscoe]

Can we please not have a self-righteous dogpile, though

[Red Planet]

Person: "Someone said I was articulate for a black person and it felt kinda shitty"

Red Planet: "WOW YOU'RE SO OPPRESSED FOR GETTING COMPLIMENTS did you know people are homeless sometimes?"

Har har. The thing is, I was being serious, so there. Boo on you. It's obvious that getting a compliment is basically the same as oppression. Duh! I knew that. It clearly can't be just about one person being a douche or the fact that material conditions have not equalized sufficiently to allow for cultural progress. It's oppression, and the worst kind, and yes, I already know I'm an oppressor, and the comment I made was oppressive cause it could be offensive to someone, a case in point being you.

Sorry, but I realize how completely fucking insensitive my comment might seem to many people here. I'm going to go check my privilege, self-flagellate, and purchase some high heels to walk in women's shoes tomorrow, even if the damn misogynists laugh at me for it.

[#FF0000]

Can we please not have a self-righteous dogpile, though

Yeah, the other replies didn't show up for me, so

[Red Planet]

Maybe next time rather than beating around the bush with a whining passive-aggressive post, you could just state your actual opinion?

Do you really believe that going on an internet forum and reading some thread in which the overwhelming majority of contributions are from teenage males is an accurate way of gauging whether women in the west experience structural discrimination/oppression on any level?

I thought this thread was part of the project to uncover some of the subjective sexism that women experience in their daily lives, no? Pardon me for being an ignorant and latent misogynist (unlike the male teens who post in this thread, I haven't been able to fully smash my testicles--I assure you that I'm working on it!), but structural discrimination/oppression wasn't really the point of discussion. I mean, I'm sure you're very well read on the subject and can marshal an impressive amount of empirical evidence and theoretical insight into the continued structural sexism that exists, but that's not really the issue here. Like for example, it's obvious according to marxist theory that capitalists would put a glass ceiling up for womyn because male CEOs and shareholders would rather surround themselves with cocks in the board room. Such structural discrimination is obvious, but again, not really part of the immediate discussion!

[#FF0000]

Red Planet reminds me of the user Bea Arthur but less funny.

[Atsumari]

Found this on a Peter Sciff video. The bottom comment got 7 thumbs up
http://puu.sh/84FTG

I really hope that the majority of libertarians are not like this since these are YouTube comments, but I have heard very similar comments about women and other minorities even in my classes from them.

[Redistribute the Rep]

Wow, the women's forum really brings out the assholes, doesn't it?

[ArisVelouxiotis]

I saw an article today about a coach who hit on a female referee and got banned from the league on facebook.
Most of the comments(and the top comment)were "I'grab that ass"and so on.I really got mad.

[slum]

I really hope that the majority of libertarians are not like this

i have bad news for you.

[Sinister Intents]

So my father said to me last night: "Hey, Jay. Do what's in your nature." I said "Haha what?" A bit of time goes by and he says: "Do you see what your dog Merlin does when Charlie walks by? His nose gives right to her ass." Then he said "Its in man's nature to objectify women."

[Sinister Intents]

"Jay look at her ass!"

Good fucking god :cursing:

[Dennis the 'Bloody Peasant']

A very tasteful piece of tat that was recently available from River Island for £4

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27295797

Just...fuck sake guys, really?

[Hrafn]

Overheard two guys on the bus being ridiculing Feminist Initiative's election shed (don't know if this is a concept abroad) for being pink, a true inferior colour.

[QueerVanguard]

There was some shitstick the other day at a bar I frequent who told some guy I was flirting with that I wasn't a "real woman" -- in his mind I guess meaning one born with a womb -- and to "stay away unless you're a f*g".

[Ceallach_the_Witch]

Not that I like to draw these kind of conclusions but my youngest brother (he's 16) is the sportiest of all of us and he's hugely sexist. I just got called 'a girl' for not ordering the takeaway (Talking over phones makes me kind of anxious and I prefer not to do it) which he found terribly amusing. He's very fond of such comparisons and has some real fucking tiresome opinions on gender roles. He's internalised a whole bunch of macho bullshit over the last few years and I swear he's more aggressive verbally and physically than I was. He's my brother and I love him but his 'bad' side is really shitty and he's so dismissive of women it kind of worries me.

[Quail]

Some random bro called me a slag as I walked to a bar last night... and then looked surprised when I yelled, "Fuck you!" right back at him.

[Hrafn]

Some random bro called me a slag as I walked to a bar last night... and then looked surprised when I yelled, "Fuck you!" right back at him.

Using that as an insult has always confused me... because in my native Swedish, slag can mean "beat" (as in music", "hit" (as when you're given a hit), "lapel" (on clothes) and "battle" (as in a military engagement. It just... Sounds weird. As does "slut" (which means "end").

[exeexe]

I dont know if other males have experienced this similar tendency, but dont you think at parties and such places that females tends to approach males* way too little?

It feels like males are supposed to do the first move because girls are not doing anything when it comes to sexual intentions.

*this was the heterosexual version, you can change it to whatever version you like

[Rosa Partizan]

I dont know if other males have experienced this similar tendency, but dont you think at parties and such places that females tends to approach males* way too little?

It feels like males are supposed to do the first move because girls are not doing anything when it comes to sexual intentions.

*this was the heterosexual version, you can change it to whatever version you like

true. At the same time, most guys are totally open for women going ahead and talking to them. I do that and never ever got a negative reaction.

[Zoroaster]

Some asswipe said, "God created women so that they may feed us".

I responded saying, "You have no proof of this God existing. And besides, if he did exist, he should be abolished".
The kid starts chuckling, thinking he's the cool one. I quote Bordiga, saying "Laugh all you like, idiot, there is nothing to laugh at". He stops and walks away quietly. I go back to reading my book, feeling awesome.

[Sinister Intents]

Whenever a man refers to a woman as 'woman'

[Zoroaster]

To SI the Black Cat:

Why do you say that?

[Sinister Intents]

To SI the Black Cat:

Why do you say that?

"Hey woman, go fetch me a beer."
"Come on woman./!"
"What's wrong with you, woman?"

[Zoroaster]

Oh, I didn't know you meant that. My bad.

I thought you were saying that it was bad to say something like, "She was a nice woman" or something like that.

[Redistribute the Rep]

"Hey woman, go fetch me a beer."
"Come on woman./!"
"What's wrong with you, woman?"

The thing is, if you replaced "woman" with "man" all those things would sound friendly, but when it's woman it takes a derogatory connotation

[Zoroaster]

To Russian Red:

Yeah, it sucks. I might be a man, but every time I hear some conservative senior talk about gender roles and "what God wanted" I have a Captain Picard face-palm moment.

[Rosa Partizan]

yesterday I went to the pub with my friends, watching WC and stuff...I started a conversation with a really REALLY hot guy, we talked about soccer (football, for those that jump down my throat for "soccer" :laugh:), especially Bundesliga, WCs and ECs in the past and all of a sudden, he lost his hotness when he said "wow, you're extremely well-informed about soccer in general...especially for a woman". My douchebag detector prevented me from giving him my cell phone number.

[Atsumari]

I thought everyone loves football, not the "bros." :confused:

[Rosa Partizan]

This happened some time ago, in 2012, but when thinking about it, I'm still appalled at such overt, blatant sexism. That year ago, I decided that I wanted to give up my Bosnian citizenship and take the German. I had to go several times to the Bosnian embassy 70 miles from here. They're the only ones that are responsible for my federal state and they know how dependant people are on them, there are no alternatives, apart from travelling to Bosnia, which is no alternative, either. So I requested the deprivation of citizenship and brought a ton of papers to look at. One guy in his 40ies sat face to face with me and checked on them. He looked at my passport, then looked at me and asked "Have you ever tried older guys?"

My jaw dropped and I asked "what's up with you, no?!" Then he was like, "okay okay, calm down...look....I got a cousin in Bosnia, he's your age, very handsome, maybe you could give it a try". When he saw my pissed off face, he stopped that and continued to go through my papers. Such situations are especially vile, because those guys know how much we need them. And there's noone in charge of them. Well, the state of Bosnia, but c'mon, this is a culture where they would tell me "what's your problem? Consider it a compliment". So if he had had a bad day, he could've told me "no older guys? okay, no paper work done for you" and I wouldn't have had anyone to turn to.

[Crabbensmasher]

One guy in his 40ies sat face to face with me and checked on them. He looked at my passport, then looked at me and asked "Have you ever tried older guys?"

My jaw dropped and I asked "what's up with you, no?!" Then he was like, "okay okay, calm down...look....I got a cousin in Bosnia, he's your age, very handsome, maybe you could give it a try". When he saw my pissed off face, he stopped that and continued to go through my papers. Such situations are especially vile, because those guys know how much we need them. And there's noone in charge of them. Well, the state of Bosnia, but c'mon, this is a culture where they would tell me "what's your problem? Consider it a compliment". So if he had had a bad day, he could've told me "no older guys? okay, no paper work done for you" and I wouldn't have had anyone to turn to.

Holy shit, that sounds awful. I think a lot of men (like me) don't realize shit like this goes on all the time. But yeah, when you actually hear about, you're like whooa

[Zoroaster]

I remember how we had to do a project in school about our political beliefs, and I did mine about Anti-Stalinist Marxism and it's history and idea's. I thought it was alright. Afterwards, a girl walks up to me and says that she liked the project. I talked a little, and idmediatly after she walks away, a kid walks about and whispers, "yo man, she's interested in the d, not the politics Shiz. What you do is-". Before he continues, I turn around and give him the middle finger.

[Sinister Intents]

I remember how we had to do a project in school about our political beliefs, and I did mine about Anti-Stalinist Marxism and it's history and idea's. I thought it was alright. Afterwards, a girl walks up to me and says that she liked the project. I talked a little, and idmediatly after she walks away, a kid walks about and whispers, "yo man, she's interested in the d, not the politics Shiz. What you do is-". Before he continues, I turn around and give him the middle finger.

That's fucked up. I remember in high school a former friend talking to a female friend of mine in a fucked up way. He insisted he was joking, but I could tell he wasn't. He would tell her to bend over so he could fuck her, he would tell her to get on her knees so he could piss on her. Or she'd say something and he's say typical woman or something related. School is a truly reactionary place, a breeding ground of reactionary thought.

[LiaSofia]

The conversation about Miley Cyrus (and sometimes Rihanna). I don't understand how disliking someone's music leads so quickly into slut-shaming but it always does.

[Rosa Partizan]

not quite sure about that one, though. There's definitely a fine line between slutshaming and honest criticism of self-objectifying for the sake of the male gaze. I'm sick of boobs and asses in music biz, sick of the presentation of sexually available women that all cling to the same beauty standards to sell their records, with guys behind the scenery profiting off of them. This slutshaming thing has become a device used by libfems to shut discussions about women's image down. Not saying you use it, far away from that, but I'm sick of "oh you dirty slutshamer" as soon as radical feminists go like "It's not sexual liberation when Miley rubs her butt on stage at some potential rapist's crotch". The only really unfair thing is that this potential rapist (and stalker) sells a tons of records and no one calls him out.

[Bala Perdida]

I'm sick of boobs and asses in music biz, sick of the presentation of sexually available women that all cling to the same beauty standards to sell their records, with guys behind the scenery profiting off of them.
Oh my god! What a great coincidence! (not really, but I guess I have to type less :grin:) My female co-worker gave me a ride home and she was blasting some sexually defaming music and singing along to it, I was just sitting there awkwardly more offended by it then her. I wasn't gonna tell her it's the 'devils music' or some shit, but I don't like that so many genres seem to be dominated by this sexually objectifying theme.
Even my music is dominated by it, it's hard to find a cumbia or norteña that isn't thematically horrible. Most of my cumbia however usually has guys depressed over women leaving them, or their struggles chasing after women. Still, talking about 'conquering' women like they are unable to hate you is horrible, and quite stalker-like.
Where else can I find such a good mix of base and accordion? This music is also the music of the poor in Latin America, privileged fucks on web-chats hate when I blast it! That also gives it an appeal!:grin:

[LiaSofia]

not quite sure about that one, though. There's definitely a fine line between slutshaming and honest criticism of self-objectifying for the sake of the male gaze. I'm sick of boobs and asses in music biz, sick of the presentation of sexually available women that all cling to the same beauty standards to sell their records, with guys behind the scenery profiting off of them. This slutshaming thing has become a device used by libfems to shut discussions about women's image down. Not saying you use it, far away from that, but I'm sick of "oh you dirty slutshamer" as soon as radical feminists go like "It's not sexual liberation when Miley rubs her butt on stage at some potential rapist's crotch". The only really unfair thing is that this potential rapist (and stalker) sells a tons of records and no one calls him out.

I actually agree. There's a very legitimate debate surrounding those issues and I personally don't believe that Miley Cyrus' behaviour can represent liberation when it's emerging from such a manipulative industry.

My criticism is of the large amount of people who show aggression towards her as a person or judge her negatively because they think the way she's acting is morally wrong. My teenage sister called her a 'pole dancing slut' at one point. I'll confess that I found her comment funny (mainly because my sister is infamously blunt and it was typical of the kind of thing she'd say), but she didn't say that because of any worries about Miley Cyrus self-objectifying - the tone was definitely more 'shame on her'.

Sometimes people's comments about how she's a bad role model for young girls etc seem like an acceptable way to say that different sexual values are bad. Much closer to the way people used to (and still do) criticise a woman for wearing revealing clothes. A person who says that young girls shouldn't wear short skirts because it sexualises them too early might be making a legitimate point about objectification and the way that specific standards of attractiveness are marketed to/imposed on girls, but I'm sure there is also an element of ''sexuality is bad unless it occurs within a narrow context'' and ''young people shouldn't have any sexuality at all''.

[Rosa Partizan]

anything you said is VERY clearly on the slutshaming side, so let's agree to agree :lol: (cause I'm running out of time, wage slavery's calling :crying:)

[Rosa Partizan]

@ coop: tell me about it. I sing along to a ton of bullshit, especially German rap. You really wouldn't want to know the lyrics, but I was never like "look at me, I'm perfect, a role model for feminism". No, I'm an inconsequent dickhead, but well...otherwise, I'm great :tt1: :D

[LiaSofia]

To [email protected] Fuerte (it won't let me quote you) - my taste in music must be way more mainstream than most Revleft people's because I never seem to come across sexist or racist lyrics. I don't choose my music based on political correctness (honest! :lol:), so I wonder why it seems more prevalent here. Maybe it's the genres? 1960s-era folk never was very reactionary.

[Bala Perdida]

Well, now I feel less horrible about my music! :D This just leaves me with one more question for the night. What the hell is 'psychology for women'? My co-worker said she's taking a class by that name and I can't tell what the purpose of that class is. It sounds interesting though. I hope it's not actually some boring reactionary trap, like a different class my sister took. The class came off as an analysis of poverty enforced on ethnic minorities, but came to be full of conservative individualist analysis. Specifically insulting affirmative action, you know, "things handed to you, instead of you working for them" type bullshit.

[LiaSofia]

Well, now I feel less horrible about my music! :D This just leaves me with one more question for the night. What the hell is 'psychology for women'? My co-worker said she's taking a class by that name and I can't tell what the purpose of that class is. It sounds interesting though. I hope it's not actually some boring reactionary trap, like a different class my sister took. The class came off as an analysis of poverty enforced on ethnic minorities, but came to be full of conservative individualist analysis. Specifically insulting affirmative action, you know, "things handed to you, instead of you working for them" type bullshit.

Oooh look, I can quote you now!

I have no idea what that weirdly named class is. You'd think it would be a psychology class designed for women (like self-defence for women...but with psychology). :unsure: But then that raises the question why do women need their own class? I hope it isn't that ''learn how to understand the male/female brain'' crap.

[Bala Perdida]

I hope it isn't that ''learn how to understand the male/female brain'' crap.
Crap! It probably is.

[Bea Arthur]

I was in the bookstore today and saw about a dozen copies of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus on the bargain rack. I felt like taking the lot of them into my arms and starting a bonfire right in front of the Barnes & Noble information desk as a protest. Peddling sexism is not acceptable. Sad that it permeates every crevice of human consciousness to the point where we take it for granted sometimes. Even on this forum its present. I should write a book about it called Men Are From Marx: The Story of Male Attempts to Corner Revolutionary Women on an Internet Forum!

[Atsumari]

In sushi school, our number two student was a woman and the only job offer for her was to be a waitress in a sushi restaurant while I and the other male students have the opportunity to work in a sushi bar despite having lower credentials.

[Sinister Intents]

Absolute bullshit. The fact that my father always says to me: " You'll understand when you're an older man." When it comes to objectifying woman and their commodification past, present, and future. He insists that its natural and that it is human nature. Sexual attraction is natural among humans, but the treatment, speaking of, abuse of woman and so on is not natural in any way. Its absolute bullshit that I get to deal with sexist fucks who want to justify gender based inequalities, patriarchal bullshit, and rape culture. "Oh look at her! She's a sexy *****!" "Look at her ass!" "Id fuck her so hard." Go kill yourselves you sexist pieces of shit.

[LiaSofia]

Just now, online, I read a post where the first line was ''as males we will never understand women''. The thread topic had nothing to do with gender. What bullshit! I'm going to write a blog post about it because it seems more acceptable to vent my anger that way rather than by visiting the OP's house and punching him. :mad:

[LiaSofia]

I was in the bookstore today and saw about a dozen copies of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus on the bargain rack. I felt like taking the lot of them into my arms and starting a bonfire right in front of the Barnes & Noble information desk as a protest. Peddling sexism is not acceptable. Sad that it permeates every crevice of human consciousness to the point where we take it for granted sometimes. Even on this forum its present. I should write a book about it called Men Are From Marx: The Story of Male Attempts to Corner Revolutionary Women on an Internet Forum!

Have you heard of the term 'neurosexism'?

[trickster]

I can't even go to the gas station lately without a guy asking me for my number, or commenting on my chest or ass. For the most part, they're cool when I shoot them down (though they definitely express their disappointment and then subtly accuse me of assuming that they're predators - I guess I'm supposed to put their feelings before my need for safety, but whatever). I had one about a week or two ago who, after I said no, started calling me a slut and basically telling me I didn't have the right to deny him anything. He started to get physical with me, I panicked and punched him in the throat, and I haven't been back to that particular gas station yet.

It's gotten to the point where I don't even go to get gas until my car is literally on empty and I've been out of smokes for hours...

[Atsumari]

I do not even know where to begin. Fucking /pol/ I tell you
http://puu.sh/bLGNK/4c56d1d913.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/GXBUEdv.jpg

This is also worthwhile.
http://imgur.com/gallery/R3QHk

[M-L-C-F]

I'm pretty much fed up with the anti-feminist bullshit on imgur, in the comments sections. Those morons don't know the difference between misandry and feminism. Misandry is bullshit, but that's not feminism, nor does it excuse any misogyny at all either. The idiots and their mob mentality like that, and on other subjects as well. Are exactly why I don't use reddit, and it's also why I'm very selective on where I post on GameFAQs too. I honestly feel bad for female gamers, when I read GameFAQs at times. Not all of us male gamers are like that ladies. :glare:

[LiaSofia]

When I was around 14 I was very thin and people often assumed that I was anorexic (I wasn't). They would say things like, ''you don't want to be skinny because men like curves''. :rolleyes:

[consuming negativity]

When I was around 14 I was very thin and people often assumed that I was anorexic (I wasn't). They would say things like, ''you don't want to be skinny because men like curves''. :rolleyes:

The joke is on them. High metabolism and therefore being able to eat whatever the hell you want and still be at your desired weight is lucky as hell in today's world. I hope you feel great about your body, fellow formerly skinny child. :)

[Rosa Partizan]

yeah because men's preference are a really accurate scale for what your body should look like. Personal comfort should play no role in deciding about your own weight and eating habits. Thanks for reminding me.
--> eats third cup of chololate pudding today

[Quail]

On my school placement I was helping a couple of boys out with division, and another lad started making kissy noises. Ugh, made me feel uncomfortable but because it was only like my 2nd day and I was mostly observing I had no idea how to react so I just ignored it.

Also... I've realised that I really don't like Miss as either a title ("Miss Quail") or what the pupils call me. First, I think it's a little demeaning in comparison to Sir and somewhat infantilising. Secondly, I feel like I'm being pushed into a feminine box which I don't feel comfortable in (especially because all smart clothes seem to be really gendered) which took me by surprise at how much it upset me. I'm not sure about alternatives though. When I get some money I'm going to look into some more gender-neutral smart clothes I think.

[PhoenixAsh]

I think he means that it is sexist to blame anorexia on teenage girls who want attention. and framing it like this is a natural state for teenage girls.

at least that is how I read it.

He opposed that. And because he did....He got grounded.

[Rosa Partizan]

I think he means that it is sexist to blame anorexia on teenage girls who want attention. and framing it like this is a natural state for teenage girls.

at least that is how I read it.

He opposed that. And because he did....He got grounded.

not sure who you're talking to :confused:

[PhoenixAsh]

Apparently not the last post above mine...as my phone promised I would be.

my phone is lying to me

[cyu]

another lad started making kissy noises

In my mind's eye, sounds to me like repressed jealousy. But it's not like I can trust my gut reactions =]

[LiaSofia]

The joke is on them. High metabolism and therefore being able to eat whatever the hell you want and still be at your desired weight is lucky as hell in today's world. I hope you feel great about your body, fellow formerly skinny child. :)

Thanks! Yes, I am happy with my weirdly thin shape. Hope you feel the same way about how you look.

And the original comment was also offensive to people with anorexia, not just to females in general. It's a real disorder and if someone does have it they're not going to just start eating more because someone tells them to.

[Sinister Intents]

Someone just told me their addiction is "pussy."

[Bala Perdida]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-society-sexist-against-men-and-how-we-can-fix-it/ - this article is strange. It's not as horrible as I thought it would be, but not exactly awesome. Also the comments are absolute shit.

[PhoenixAsh]

This is the reason why I don't go on boats and ships on any body of water with a woman. Because fuck that shit of going down with the ship.
:rolleyes:


The article is terrible. The arguments are terrible. The analysis is terrible. The arguments are thoroughly bourgeois and liberal.

[Rosa Partizan]

I'm in a good mood and only the first line told me this article's gonna be bullshit, so not gonna read it, lulz.

[Bala Perdida]

I'm in a good mood and only the first line told me this article's gonna be bullshit, so not gonna read it, lulz.
Good choice. It trys to be awkwardly satirical but serious at the same time. Overall it's unpleasant, but it makes me feel better that this won't be any ammo for MRA types.

[PhoenixAsh]

I'm in a good mood and only the first line told me this article's gonna be bullshit, so not gonna read it, lulz.

TL : DR .... don't get in a boat with a woman except when you are a feminist...then it is ok to let them drown while you float away on the spacious flotsome like Kate Winslet with a penis.

[Redistribute the Rep]

TL : DR .... don't get in a boat with a woman except when you are a feminist...then it is ok to let them drown while you float away on the spacious flotsome like Kate Winslet with a penis.

I recall an Uppsala University survey of major maritime disasters that found that the titanic was one of the only ones in which women had a higher survival rate than men. So apparently the extent of the authors research is watching the Titanic movie

[Bala Perdida]

So... the boat thing is an actual MRA argument?

[Redistribute the Rep]

So... the boat thing is an actual MRA argument?

The article shows it in a Reddit screenshot, and Ive heard multiple prominent MRAs present it as a point

[Bala Perdida]

Well that's just straight up fucking silly. As the article pointed out, there's no need to even be on a boat. The fact that they drag it on as some dreadful weight men are forced to carry is nothing but silly shit. How can they seriously peddle this? There is so much other shit they can bring up, but apparently this is common enough to appear in the article.
The comments listed some audibly better points. They sound more serious, but they're also broken down with feminism and gender roles analysis. Even then, the comments are still absolute garbage.

[Illegalitarian]

What a lazy and sexist analysis of the Titanic tragedy.


Look at the number of bourgeois who made it back alive next to the number of working class folks and their children who made it out with their neck. Then we learn the real narrative, which tells us who it is that will always jump ship and leave everyone else behind when the going gets rough.

[LiaSofia]

What a lazy and sexist analysis of the Titanic tragedy.


Look at the number of bourgeois who made it back alive next to the number of working class folks and their children who made it out with their neck. Then we learn the real narrative, which tells us who it is that will always jump ship and leave everyone else behind when the going gets rough.

True. There was definitely more of a class dimension to it, but this is conveniently overlooked.

The harassment thread has made me recall a few instances:

When I was 14/15 I was in a library which had a large glass wall leading onto a square outside. A man who was with a group of four other guys came up to the window, pressed himself against it, and kissed the glass while staring at me and laughing.

Another guy on the bus started telling me about his past extremely active sex life with younger African women. I don't know how much we're allowed to say on this forum so I'll leave the description there, but it's impossible to convey just how explicit he was about the anatomical aspects. Also keep in mind that he was, at the time I met him on the bus, 90 years old, but he reassured me that he 'could still get it up'. I thanked god that he didn't get off the bus when I did.

Also, last week I had a man from a call centre in India telling me at least three times that I had a nice voice. He started to do his standard sales pitch and then interrupted himself to compliment me on my voice. I thought maybe they say that to most people to get them to stay on the phone, but he said it again when he was saying bye. Some people would hear this story and think that it was a sweet thing to say, but I don't think it was because he said it in such a pervy way. I was laughing by the time I put the phone down, but it was still kind of creepy.

Sometimes I think that regular, non-pervy men don't always realise how easily certain behaviours can be seen as threatening. Because, as a group, men aren't usually fearful of sexual violence when they're in public and haven't had those cautionary stories told to them at school/by their parents, they sometimes can't see how things can seem from a female's perspective. Like the first example I gave of the guy outside of the library - he was certainly being an asshole, but he saw it as a stupid joke. I don't think he registered that a group of leering older men is not funny when you're a teenage girl, because it carries so much implied threat with it.

[Counterculturalist]

While I've pretty much always considered myself a feminist, what probably solidified it more than anything else was my years spent working midnights at a plastics factory.

The atmosphere at my old shop was bitter and fraught with conflict between workers, supervisors and managers, and it was hell for men and women alike, but I soon noticed that the women I worked with were under constant attack.

I once (rather callously) asked a female co-worker why she was always tired at work. She broke it down for me: "Well, I go home and bring the kids to school. My husband comes home for lunch, and he gets really upset if don't make him something and stay up and eat with him. The kids need to be picked up from school at 3, and then I have to make supper and clean the kitchen. I sleep from 7 until 9, and then get up for work."

Once at work, she and other women were barraged with verbal abuse from whoever the supervisor happened to be. It wasn't uncommon for one supervisor to bellow thing like "listen, ****, if I can hear your voice, you're talking too loud!" Another supervisor was a born again Christian who didn't think God wanted women in the workplace, and constantly conspired to have the women on his shift fired.

Then there was the manager who would show up in the morning and make the rounds of the workstations, openly asking women to "suck his cock." He was "just kidding," of course.

Observing things like this really drove home the fact that women have to put up with things that, as a man, I can't begin to understand.

[Quail]

I find it weird and disturbing when young teenage boys seem to think it's okay to make sexualised comments to random women in the street. I'm sure some of it is immaturity, but what kind of messages is our society giving to boys if fucking 12 year olds see a couple of women holding hands and say, "Oi, you going to shag that girl tonight?" I'd be so ashamed if my son did anything like that when he gets older.

I yelled back over my shoulder something like, "Yeah, I am actually. Fuck you!" Then instantly began to think that was a pretty misogynistic thing to say, ugh. My partner thought it was funny though and was surprised that I'd managed to yell back at them so quickly. The angry yell back is almost a reflex for me now. But yeah... I guess we need to be careful not to play into patriarchal attitudes towards women even if we've been on the receiving end of that kind of bullshit ourselves.

[Red Son]

Several times in the last few weeks I've heard comments along the lines of 'Look at the arse on it', 'check out the tits on it'...on it. Not even 'her', fucking 'it'. Not saying 'her' improves the sentiment at all, but the use of 'it' gets under my skin in a special way.

[TheMask]

Several times in the last few weeks I've heard comments along the lines of 'Look at the arse on it', 'check out the tits on it'...on it. Not even 'her', fucking 'it'. Not saying 'her' improves the sentiment at all, but the use of 'it' gets under my skin in a special way.

I agree with your statement. Our shared goal is for all comrades to pay respect to each other! That is the beauty of the ''comrade'' addressing. Old, woman, man and child all seen upon with respect and equality. But as for revolutionaries in all things female liberation must originate from themselves. As Lenin said: ''You cannot seek salvation at the hand of your suppresser. Fight well for your cause and fight for the salvation of your enemy''

I am no liberator. The people liberate themselves
-Che

[Bala Perdida]

I rang up a pair of guys, because my co-worker refused to. They where checking her out, and on top of that they where bad when I rang them up too. Complaining about the name of a product in the system, despite it being the advertised price. One also complained about the customer service and told me if it was better the word would spread and we'd have more business.
As if I want the store to succeed, or for more of them to come over to inappropriately stare at our cashiers.

[Quail]

A couple of eww moments in town earlier.

One was a guy trying to sell me a charity wristband, and when I said no, he said, "It's for a good cause, babe." So I gritted me teeth and growled, "Don't call me babe." I hate being called babe. I wouldn't even let my partner call me babe because ew. It's demeaning. I'm not your babe.

The other was when I was waiting at the bus stop and an older guy looked me up and down and went, "Ohh yeahh." I glared at him, possibly aggressively, and he apologised. So like, he must have known he was being gross before he even did it.

[consuming negativity]

A couple of eww moments in town earlier.

One was a guy trying to sell me a charity wristband, and when I said no, he said, "It's for a good cause, babe." So I gritted me teeth and growled, "Don't call me babe." I hate being called babe. I wouldn't even let my partner call me babe because ew. It's demeaning. I'm not your babe.

The other was when I was waiting at the bus stop and an older guy looked me up and down and went, "Ohh yeahh." I glared at him, possibly aggressively, and he apologised. So like, he must have known he was being gross before he even did it.

not two minutes after reading this post, some guy in the lobby i was at called the receptionist "hey babe"

how are these people adults and think this is good behavior

[Rosa Partizan]

this sexist bullshit is now hanging everywhere in Berlin.

http://www.wuv.de/var/wuv/storage/images/media/bilder/bloomy_days2/6843277-1-ger-DE/bloomy_days_evo_580.jpg


it a commercial for a flower company (valentine's day) and it says:

the more beautiful the flowers, the nicer the "thank-you"

and below in this pink circle

"bloomy day wishes you a successful valentine's day"

I guess I don't need to explain it any further

[PhoenixAsh]

Thats quite disgusting symbolism...

[Lily Briscoe]

Thats quite disgusting symbolism...

I kinda like it. Very Georgia O'Keeffe :lol:

The text is pretty tacky though

[Quail]

Ugh, that's so disgusting. Perhaps the ads would benefit from a bit of spray paint (not that I would promote vandalism).

[Lily Briscoe]

I'm apparently missing something. The message is obviously sleazy and dumb ('buy your girlfriend our flowers for Valentine's Day = get laid') but as far as shitty messages in advertising are concerned, it seems completely unremarkable. Slightly confused whether people are disgusted because of the message or because it's a vaginaflower (who cares)

[Rosa Partizan]

To me, it's about the message. Depicting all different kinds of vaginas would be completely fine, but in this case, it's clearly objectifying for the sake of a male audience. Friends from Berlin told me this poster's omnipresent in the whole city, which I find pretty disturbing.

[Redistribute the Rep]

I'm apparently missing something. The message is obviously sleazy and dumb ('buy your girlfriend our flowers for Valentine's Day = get laid') but as far as shitty messages in advertising are concerned, it seems completely unremarkable. Slightly confused whether people are disgusted because of the message or because it's a vaginaflower (who cares)

I like Georgia okeeffes vulva flowers, but this ad with the whole 'put in enough kindness tokens and a woman's gentalia falls out'...

Euuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Lily Briscoe]

To me, it's about the message. Depicting all different kinds of vaginas would be completely fine, but in this case, it's clearly objectifying for the sake of a male audience. Friends from Berlin told me this poster's omnipresent in the whole city, which I find pretty disturbing.

Yeah it's definitely objectifying for the sake of a male audience: buy our product and women will have sex with you is obviously the whole thrust. It just strikes me as being kind of on the tame side as far as sexist messages in advertising and media are concerned, which is why I was wondering how much of the disgust was over the image.

[RedWorker]

Ugh, that's so disgusting. Perhaps the ads would benefit from a bit of spray paint (not that I would promote vandalism).

It's kind of annoying how putting up a sexist ad is fine but fixing it is seen as criminal.

[Quail]

I'm apparently missing something. The message is obviously sleazy and dumb ('buy your girlfriend our flowers for Valentine's Day = get laid') but as far as shitty messages in advertising are concerned, it seems completely unremarkable. Slightly confused whether people are disgusted because of the message or because it's a vaginaflower (who cares)

I was going to write out a response to this, but then I think this post pretty much sums up my feelings:


I like Georgia okeeffes vulva flowers, but this ad with the whole 'put in enough kindness tokens and a woman's gentalia falls out'...

Euuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

I think having the symbolic flower there makes the message even more sleazy because it's not even a double entendre, it's actually just saying "buy our flowers, get vagina."

[cyu]

Perhaps the ads would benefit from a bit of spray paint (not that I would promote vandalism).

Alright, we're kicking you out of the anarchist club now xD



"bloomy day wishes you a successful valentine's day"



It will be a success when every guy that buys from them is dumped, and the company goes bankrupt.

[Rosa Partizan]

several friends of mine wrote them mails and all of their answers were like "confident, mature women designed this ad, so sorry if you feel offended". To put it another way: "It's not our problem that you prudish girls don't like vaginas". Wow, completely unpredictable reaction, never heard that before. Women like it/think it's funny and you must hate sex and the female body. ohgodwhy.

[Pancakes Rühle]

I don't know if you would call it everyday sexism for one person, but it seems like it's the type of thing that occurs everywhere.

I work in construction, and many different trades are working together under the same union.

The janitors were mostly women (1 man on a crew of 12). Anyways, the only people targeted for a pay cut (reclassification from top laborer to entry level laborer) of 7$/hour were the women.

Equipment Operators who were making double the top laborer rate, were doing labor work, not even operating equipment.

BUT, alas, women were targeted as the easy option.

All the union did was fight and change that paycut from 7$ to 4$.

[Lily Briscoe]

I was going to write out a response to this, but then I think this post pretty much sums up my feelings:

I think having the symbolic flower there makes the message even more sleazy because it's not even a double entendre, it's actually just saying "buy our flowers, get vagina."

I agree that the message is pretty sleazy. But like I said, I just don't think there's anything remarkable (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OHCRWfV1q5A) or noteworthy (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CkF1rck0hIc) about it, aside from the fact that it has a weirdly provocative graphic.

[Redistribute the Rep]

Well, the thread is mostly casual sexism, it doesn't have to pass a standard of egregiousness or anything to be brought up

[Lily Briscoe]

No, but I didn't take issue with the fact that the ad was brought up. I was responding to peoples' seemingly kind of shocked reactions to it.

ETA: maybe the issue is just that I'm really jaded, though. We live in a world where sexism is completely ubiquitous. I just find it kind of difficult to get upset about a silly ad with a sleazy message.

[Rosa Partizan]

To me, it's also about that these ads are hanging huge multiple times in the centre of Berlin. It's not the usual lingerie ad that we're used to, it's "buy flowers, get vagina" multiple dozens of times in the capital of Germany. I find this remarkable, yes.

[consuming negativity]

"buy X, receive women (in and of itself a problematic notion)" is pretty cut-and-dry everyday sexism. being as straightforward as just sticking a vagina on it is pretty uncommon but not unheard of and it seems worth posting. while I agree with strix that the responses sounded like "ewww vagina!", I think that the context of the situation being that the comments were made by those posters means we can assume that that isn't the case though

but honestly I sort of like the honesty. i think it makes it more obvious how ridiculous it is. but then you always run the risk of people not seeing that, and frankly I don't even want to see ads as it is.......

[Quail]

"buy X, receive women (in and of itself a problematic notion)" is pretty cut-and-dry everyday sexism. being as straightforward as just sticking a vagina on it is pretty uncommon but not unheard of and it seems worth posting. while I agree with strix that the responses sounded like "ewww vagina!", I think that the context of the situation being that the comments were made by those posters means we can assume that that isn't the case though

but honestly I sort of like the honesty. i think it makes it more obvious how ridiculous it is. but then you always run the risk of people not seeing that, and frankly I don't even want to see ads as it is.......

It's not really "eww vagina" but the way that women's genitals are being sold to me. I am attracted to lots of people with vaginas, but I find the gross, objectified way women are presented with a heterosexual male audience in mind really horrible.

[The Disillusionist]

So, I'm male, but for important reasons, I have found myself scouring my area for dental dams (obviously males can use them too, they are just kind of a stereotypically lesbian device). I know that these things are horribly underused for oral sex, and from what I've heard, very few people take them seriously, but still, they are IMPOSSIBLE to find. I looked everywhere, every store I could think of.

I went to the WOMEN'S CENTER at my local college, the one place that should have them even if no other place in the state does, and they told me, "Well, we used to have them, but we stopped getting them in a while back, so the grant must have run out. Check with the Student Health Center.

So I went to the Student Health Center, and they were like, "What? We pretty much only give out free condoms, you must be some kind of weirdo. But check with the Student Wellness Department downstairs, they are responsible for ordering all that stuff."

So I went to the Student Wellness Department and had to ask a clueless 50 year old woman about them.... she had no idea why I was asking or what I was asking about, and talked to me for 15 minutes about student dental insurance...

At every step I took along the bureaucratic ladder, people got less helpful. The Women's Center people were the most helpful but really had no idea how to solve the problem. I don't know if this really counts as sexism, as every person I talked to was female (which was a tad embarrasing), but it seems to me that this lack of available protection for a sexual act that is specifically performed on females is a pretty serious structural issue. I mean, even my college, the place that should be a bastion of support for these kinds of issues, doesn't seem to give a dam (see what I did there?) about health or safety when it comes to that kind of sex.

I kinda want to make an issue out of this, but I don't want to embarrass my partner.

[Quail]

Cut up a condom and make a dental dam that way.

[The Disillusionist]

Cut up a condom and make a dental dam that way.

Yeah, that works, but it's not optimal, for various reasons...

[Quail]

Well, flavoured condoms maybe? TBH I've never met a woman who's used a dental dam. Maybe that's bad.

[The Disillusionist]

Well, flavoured condoms maybe? TBH I've never met a woman who's used a dental dam. Maybe that's bad.

Yeah, flavored condoms could work fine (condoms are also a little small to use comfortably as dams though). But I still hate having to settle when there is a better option that exists out there. And yeah, almost nobody uses dental dams, which is fine, but I still think it's an issue that it's impossible to find them if you do want to use them.

[Workers-Control-Over-Prod]

I remember how we had to do a project in school about our political beliefs, and I did mine about Anti-Stalinist Marxism and it's history and idea's. I thought it was alright. Afterwards, a girl walks up to me and says that she liked the project. I talked a little, and idmediatly after she walks away, a kid walks about and whispers, "yo man, she's interested in the d, not the politics Shiz. What you do is-". Before he continues, I turn around and give him the middle finger.

Obviously that guy was narrowly ignorant of the relevance of politics. You must be very satisfied with your sex and romance life though if you didn't try to use that common interest to get to know her better, assuming you're attracted to girls.

[Workers-Control-Over-Prod]

Yeah, flavored condoms could work fine (condoms are also a little small to use comfortably as dams though). But I still hate having to settle when there is a better option that exists out there. And yeah, almost nobody uses dental dams, which is fine, but I still think it's an issue that it's impossible to find them if you do want to use them.

Dental dams? Lol, why not whoop out the latex gloves, never can be safe enough haha. Sorry if this sounds patronizing, I guess it would be useful if your mate has a known transmittable disease. Haha

[Lily Briscoe]

Good times...

[Quail]

Today I went to a different Judo club, and when I was fighting with a really heavy guy, the instructor told him, "Remember it's a girl." Grr. It's not because of my gender that heavy people should be careful, it's because I'm small! Same guy also told me to smile because worse things have happened blah blah.

Judo as a sport has real trouble attracting women. Casual sexism doesn't help.

[The Disillusionist]

Today I went to a different Judo club, and when I was fighting with a really heavy guy, the instructor told him, "Remember it's a girl." Grr. It's not because of my gender that heavy people should be careful, it's because I'm small! Same guy also told me to smile because worse things have happened blah blah.

Judo as a sport has real trouble attracting women. Casual sexism doesn't help.

Martial arts in general tend to have a real air of machismo about them. It's why they're so much fun to verbally attack in the presence of "bros," their egos can't handle it.

[The Disillusionist]

Dental dams? Lol, why not whoop out the latex gloves, never can be safe enough haha. Sorry if this sounds patronizing, I guess it would be useful if your mate has a known transmittable disease. Haha

I've been ignoring this comment because, even though I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it, it pisses me off. Why I want dental dams is not of anyone's concern, they should still be made available to me. (By the way, I eventually did find some at a specialty condom shop, and they are sooo much better than cut up condoms.)

[Quail]

Martial arts in general tend to have a real air of machismo about them. It's why they're so much fun to verbally attack in the presence of "bros," their egos can't handle it.
Depends on the martial art I think. Judo tends to attract bro types though. It is pretty rough I guess and requires decent levels of strength and fitness, and it's a shame there are so few women who are into it.


I've been ignoring this comment because, even though I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it, it pisses me off. Why I want dental dams is not of anyone's concern, they should still be made available to me. (By the way, I eventually did find some at a specialty condom shop, and they are sooo much better than cut up condoms.)
I did try to get dental dams at the sexual health clinic a while back and they don't have them. I don't know if it's a deliberate sexism/homophobia thing or people just don't really use them. Admittedly I just wanted to see what using one was like because honestly I find the idea of them really unsexy, but I guess some people somewhere probably do use them.

[Trap Queen Voxxy]

Was hit on pretty severely by the meat monger today and I'm just like woah wtf I just want some ducks for noms :(

AND I saw some anti-masturbation shtuff from friggin Protestants saying "the clitiros is the devil's doorbell...if you ring it, he will answer!"

[Quail]

Another Judo based one... I feel as though people really talk down to me sometimes, in a way that they most definitely wouldn't talk down to a male blue belt. I had a yellow belt spend ages mansplaining how to do a basic strangle to me while we were fighting on the ground. He was probably 30-40kg heavier than me at least, so he could just kind of drag me around and dominate me very easily. Just because you're using your massive weight advantage, doesn't mean I don't know more about Judo than you. (The order of belts is white, red, yellow, orange, green, blue, brown, black, and I've been doing Judo since I was 10. Sorry, but I don't need your patronising mansplainations.)

I wonder what could be done to attract more smaller women to the sport. The problem is, on a practical level it's a bit shit consistently having nobody your weight to fight so I think that makes smaller people (but especially women) less likely to stick with it. And on top of that, there's so much casual sexism. I thought the university club was bad because of the kind of "locker room" atmosphere going on, but at least at the uni club nobody patronises me.

[Vladimir Innit Lenin]

Another Judo based one... I feel as though people really talk down to me sometimes, in a way that they most definitely wouldn't talk down to a male blue belt. I had a yellow belt spend ages mansplaining how to do a basic strangle to me while we were fighting on the ground. He was probably 30-40kg heavier than me at least, so he could just kind of drag me around and dominate me very easily. Just because you're using your massive weight advantage, doesn't mean I don't know more about Judo than you. (The order of belts is white, red, yellow, orange, green, blue, brown, black, and I've been doing Judo since I was 10. Sorry, but I don't need your patronising mansplainations.)

I wonder what could be done to attract more smaller women to the sport. The problem is, on a practical level it's a bit shit consistently having nobody your weight to fight so I think that makes smaller people (but especially women) less likely to stick with it. And on top of that, there's so much casual sexism. I thought the university club was bad because of the kind of "locker room" atmosphere going on, but at least at the uni club nobody patronises me.

Strangely enough i've always found Judo to be a sport with a lack of sexism, simply because most of the time size doesn't matter if there is a large quality gap. Especially compared to other sports i've played like football and cricket, where sexism is part of the status quo.

I weigh over 85kg and i've trained with an international Judoka from Japan who can't have been much more than 60kg, but she obviously completely dominated me because she's a master on an international level.

A club I used to train at, and still follow on social media, today held (and publicised) a women's only Judo session to mark International Women's Day. I thought it was a nice gesture.

[Quail]

Strangely enough i've always found Judo to be a sport with a lack of sexism, simply because most of the time size doesn't matter if there is a large quality gap. Especially compared to other sports i've played like football and cricket, where sexism is part of the status quo.

I weigh over 85kg and i've trained with an international Judoka from Japan who can't have been much more than 60kg, but she obviously completely dominated me because she's a master on an international level.

A club I used to train at, and still follow on social media, today held (and publicised) a women's only Judo session to mark International Women's Day. I thought it was a nice gesture.

I might be quite unfit at the moment (and I'm not exactly amazing at Judo in the first place), but I think size can matter. I'm 55kg (my aim of getting back under 52 gets further and further away...) so I do struggle on the ground with much larger people. I'm pretty good at armlocks and strangles, but when my opponent weighs 90kg or something and can quite happily lift me up with one arm it makes it more difficult.

[cyu]

If size and weight matters in judo, maybe it's not that worthy as a martial art after all. If it were me, I'd consider knife training or something xD

[Quail]

If size and weight matters in judo, maybe it's not that worthy as a martial art after all. If it were me, I'd consider knife training or something xD

It's about using your partner's weight and momentum against them, so to an extent size differences shouldn't matter. You get your opponent to move where you want them to move so that you can get your attack in. From a self defence perspective, the weight difference should be less important in that when you're defending yourself, your opponent gives you momentum when they try to push or hit you (whereas in a Judo fight you have to create that momentum).

I'm sure we have weight categories in competition for a reason though.

[cyu]

My brother said he watched some apparently MMA-style fighting - basically anything goes, no holds barred. He said all the scrawny martial arts type guys were dead meat, and only the big guys won. Probably time to buy a sniper rifle -_-

[Vladimir Innit Lenin]

I might be quite unfit at the moment (and I'm not exactly amazing at Judo in the first place), but I think size can matter. I'm 55kg (my aim of getting back under 52 gets further and further away...) so I do struggle on the ground with much larger people. I'm pretty good at armlocks and strangles, but when my opponent weighs 90kg or something and can quite happily lift me up with one arm it makes it more difficult.

I think that probably the 'size doesn't matter' element comes into it when say, you have a black belt against an amateur. You're right that in most situations where the belts are closer, 30-40kg is obviously a big weight. I remember training against a guy who was 100kg+, and there was literally nothing I could do to move him.

[Sewer Socialist]

My brother said he watched some apparently MMA-style fighting - basically anything goes, no holds barred. He said all the scrawny martial arts type guys were dead meat, and only the big guys won. Probably time to buy a sniper rifle -_-

In Mixed Martial Arts-style fighting, people who do martial arts perform poorly? Which "big guys" are you referring to who can succeed at mixed martial arts while not being themselves martial artists?

Here are some counterexamples to what you said, from the early days of the UFC, when there were no weight classes. While all competitors are martial artists, here are some examples that run counter to your assertion that size is everything.

Ll4g-pkzERs
UFC#1: Teila Tulim 460lb(208kg) vs. Gerard Gordeau, 216lb(98kg).
QVov2TEYJ8k
UFC#3: Royce Gracie, 176lbs(80kg) vs. Kimo Leopoldo, 250lbs(113kg). Skip to 3:00 to get past the weird Christian martyr stuff of Leopoldo.
DjzyMwIu0ro
Ultimate Japan: Kazushi Sakuraba, 183 lbs (83 kg) vs. Marcus Silveira, 240 lbs (110 kg)



Size is an advantage, but it isn't everything. Judo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in particular level the playing field. Royce Gracie, an expert in BJJ, was pretty much unbeatable, at 80kg - a full 25kg lighter than many of his opponents.

In defense of scrawny martial-arts types everywhere.:wub:

[Sewer Socialist]

Anyway, I actually came here to post this:


http://abbottcycles.com/img/2.jpg





Signorina (young woman in Italian) is a unique 16-pound bicycle with frameset constructed entirely of carbon fiber composite. The sculpted female form is functionally incorporated into a conventional road-racing bicycle configuration.


So, this is a bike that is supposed to look like a nude woman. It was submitted as an entry to the North American Handmade Bike Show. In addition to being the most cringe-inducing thing someone could manufacture, or buy for that matter, we also have some terribly misogynist things written on the website.

There is a poll option:


If you owned Signorina, would you...


Treat her like art in your home



Allow only a few friends to see her



Ride her hard and often



Keep her locked to your bed

Yes, my woman I own, I keep her locked away. :mad:
This idiot has his e-mail listed on his website: [email protected] I have had fun sending him some e-mail telling him how stupid he and his stupid bike design is.

[consuming negativity]

i'm so tired of the word "*****"

i think it might be the swear i hear most frequently, too

it used to just be a sexist insult used to describe people and behaviors, but in the past few years it seems like it has become the new word for "woman". so many women have given me weird looks if i accidentally say it and i'll be like "oh sorry i try not to say that, *continues with different word*..." but they even say it on basic cable and shit now and nobody seems to give a fuck

it's just a word but once you understand it you can't stop hating it because of what it stands for and idfk, i'm not even a woman but this thread seems like a good place for this rant because the use of ***** has become so commonplace that it is really becoming a daily problem for me, especially around people in their teens/twenties. i find people interesting and i enjoy being social, but it makes me not even want to be around people. whether i sit and take time to explain it or not it's just such an annoyance and i'm beginning to be less and less able to tolerate it.

[JaspyB]

I've recently got a new place with my partner in which his dad has responded by asking questions such as ''Are you good at cleaning? You are going to have to hoover.'' (Because of course I've never ever used a hoover in my whole life!!!) ''Do you like ironing?'' ''Can you cook?'' It is as if I'm watching a parody show... and when talking about our new place I am never asked by the family about DIY jobs, I am only ever asked about interior related things and every time my parter is talking to his dad about a job which needs doing and I suggest a good idea I am met with ''Not just a pretty face then.''

[Quail]

Weirdo in town went out of his way to touch my arse... blah blah people yelling out of car windows blah blah this all gets very tiresome. Did the hot weather cause a breakout of dickheaditis or something?

[Faust Arp]

A police car with beacons on and three cops inside it rushing through the streets at the speed of about 100 km/h, but still making sure to honk at roughly half the girls walking on the pavement.

From my personal experience cops tend to be the most obnoxious when it comes to catcalling, honking and stuff like that. Fuck them.

[Quail]

I don't know why I should expect more from Batman, but I'm watching Son of Batman, and I don't understand why no matter what Talia is wearing, her boobs have to be pretty much spilling out of her clothes. If Batman's dick (or hell, even his chest) was nearly spilling out of all of his costumes, people would rightly thing it was ridiculous. I hate the way that the comics industry draws and treats women.

[Quail]

My mum is the fucking gender police sometimes with my son. He was looking at sparkly jelly shoes with interest, and then she was just like, "They're for girls." He immediately lost interest. It fucking infuriates me though...

When you tell a five year old boy that something is "for girls" and therefore not worthy of his interest, you're teaching him that "girls' stuff" is inferior and therefore girls are inferior... So you're teaching him to be a fucking misogynist.

FYI if you're already teaching my son to be sexist, no wonder you're pissed off with my brother for not respecting his girlfriend.

[Zoop]

^ I hate that. It also forces children to conform to rigid standards of gender and fit into well defined, vapid categories and boxes, which makes them suppress their individuality. No wonder they grow up fearful of stepping out of the enforced gender boundaries society forces down their throats. I can only imagine how anguishing it must be for some children to suppress certain parts of themselves they only feel to be natural.

Fucking authoritarians.

[Decolonize The Left]

I just learned that two female workers at my place of employment have been, unsuprisingly but nonetheless infuriating, talked down to by management when they ask for help. I spoke with them about possible avenues for ending this everyday sexism. We'll see how it unfolds.

[Црвена]

I was at a debating event and one of the motions I got was "THB that there should be sponsorship restrictions in sport." I was the only girl in this particular debate. Now, I don't really follow sport (I like doing it, but watching it bores me) so I wasn't as confident as usual when I spoke and I expected to be rebutted quite strongly. What I didn't expect was that the person on the opposing team who spoke after me would literally say "I suggest that you take Proposition 3's claims with a pinch of salt, because as a girl she'll no doubt be more interested in athlete's bodies than in matters relating to sponsorship." And the audience fucking laughed. He wasn't even penalised for conduct. I wanted to call out this prick for his sexism but never got the chance. :mad:

[Zoop]

Was on the train today, and overheard some people talking. Heard them talking about catcalling, and then a woman who they were with said that it was sexual harassment.
The guy then said "But we're men. Men have got to be men."

So in brief, what I learned today:

Only real men sexually harass women.

[Armchair Partisan]

Just in case anyone here might have been suckered by the Dalai Lama calling himself a Marxist (and, according to the source below, apparently a feminist too) and doing all that other pretentious faux-social-justice kind of stuff that seems to be all the rage with theocratic absolute monarchs of religious communities nowadays, here is Tenzin Gyatso's opinion of women in one succinct quote about the prospect of a possible female Dalai Lama:

...her face should be very, very attractive [...] otherwise not much use. (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/dalai-lama-says-female-successor-must-be-very-very-attractive-otherwise-she-is-not-much-use-10513609.html)

(Also included: gender essentialism.)

[Guardia Rossa]

I don't know, as a male, If I should have read this thread before, or never actually read it. This thread makes me feel both angry and guilty, which confuses me. :( :blink:

I am happy for one thing that as much as I am not much religious, I'm not much of a sexist.
Still, I realized I have things to straighten up. :unsure:

I'm also not sure if I should have posted this or not...

[Quail]

I wore a sexy costume last night and had 3 gross incidents: one "Have a good night girls" *silence/glare* "Ungrateful whores, hope you get raped!" and two general creeps. I was moaning about the amount of harassment later to a man and he had no idea that it was actually a thing that happens to women/people read as such. There is such a huge difference in the way people treat me when I'm dressed all feminine it's ridiculous and kind of awful.

[Major K.]

I've got one.

A few months ago I was kicked out of a bar because a girl I never met said I was making her uncomfortable (I hadn't talked to her, touched her, seen her, etc.). I was sitting in the corner talking with a buddy, and her boyfriend comes up and starts trying to pick a fight.

I get him to leave me alone by explaining my ignorance and the fact that I had never even seen the girl, let alone met her. Then 5 minutes later the bouncer comes over and kicks me out of the place, saying that the policy of the bar is that the woman is always right. I ask if I can tell my friend I'm leaving and he shoves me to the ground and says no, making a big scene.

Outside the bar waited the girl and her boyfriend. She told him that I was coming onto her (a complete lie. I'm guessing they were having relationship issues and she wanted to make him fulfill his role more) and he attacked me.

Got an elbow in the eye as I dropped the guy then got out of there.

[#FF0000]

saying that the policy of the bar is that the woman is always right

yeah that didn't happen

[Quail]

... and the point of your post is what? That there is systemic discrimination against men because of safeguards put in place to protect women? It sounds like you had a pretty crappy experience, but it has nothing to do with sexism. There might be the odd person who falsely accuses someone of making them feel uncomfortable, but the policy of always believing the person who complains of harassment is a damn good one and probably exists for a reason. For every woman who makes something up, god-knows-how-many more get harassed or even assaulted.

[BIXX]

I've got one.

A few months ago I was kicked out of a bar because a girl I never met said I was making her uncomfortable (I hadn't talked to her, touched her, seen her, etc.). I was sitting in the corner talking with a buddy, and her boyfriend comes up and starts trying to pick a fight.

I get him to leave me alone by explaining my ignorance and the fact that I had never even seen the girl, let alone met her. Then 5 minutes later the bouncer comes over and kicks me out of the place, saying that the policy of the bar is that the woman is always right. I ask if I can tell my friend I'm leaving and he shoves me to the ground and says no, making a big scene.

Outside the bar waited the girl and her boyfriend. She told him that I was coming onto her (a complete lie. I'm guessing they were having relationship issues and she wanted to make him fulfill his role more) and he attacked me.

Got an elbow in the eye as I dropped the guy then got out of there.

Liar

[Counterculturalist]

yeah that didn't happen

Or, if it did, it sounds like the bartender and the boyfriend were using the excuse of chivalry (itself a misogynistic idea) to out-macho each other, a situation I've seen play out all-too-often in bars when there's an overload of booze and testosterone.

So, maybe sexism is at the root of the incident, but not necessarily in the way you think.

[Zoop]

I've got one.

A few months ago I was kicked out of a bar because a girl I never met said I was making her uncomfortable (I hadn't talked to her, touched her, seen her, etc.). I was sitting in the corner talking with a buddy, and her boyfriend comes up and starts trying to pick a fight.

I get him to leave me alone by explaining my ignorance and the fact that I had never even seen the girl, let alone met her. Then 5 minutes later the bouncer comes over and kicks me out of the place, saying that the policy of the bar is that the woman is always right. I ask if I can tell my friend I'm leaving and he shoves me to the ground and says no, making a big scene.

Outside the bar waited the girl and her boyfriend. She told him that I was coming onto her (a complete lie. I'm guessing they were having relationship issues and she wanted to make him fulfill his role more) and he attacked me.

Got an elbow in the eye as I dropped the guy then got out of there.

The "the woman is always right" policy is intended to serve as a safety net, and it is sensible, in my opinion. It isn't meant to be universally applicable, but it is meant to be universally implemented.

The only sexism at work here seems to be the roles the couple supposedly adhered to.

[Major K.]

Or, if it did, it sounds like the bartender and the boyfriend were using the excuse of chivalry (itself a misogynistic idea) to out-macho each other, a situation I've seen play out all-too-often in bars when there's an overload of booze and testosterone.

So, maybe sexism is at the root of the incident, but not necessarily in the way you think.

I think you and Quail are right. At least that's how I interpret it.

These are the same types of guys who loudly claim they'd NEVER hit a woman under any circumstances. In other words, only men can say or do anything that warrants violence, implicitly depriving women of agency.


It sounds like you had a pretty crappy experience, but it has nothing to do with sexism. There might be the odd person who falsely accuses someone of making them feel uncomfortable, but the policy of always believing the person who complains of harassment is a damn good one and probably exists for a reason. For every woman who makes something up, god-knows-how-many more get harassed or even assaulted.

I think it's a bit trickier than that though. Instituting rules regarding people based on their perceived sex, whether you think those rules are justified or not, is still a positive manifestation of sexism. It's a way to divide the proletariat against itself and focus less on the more politically meaningful issues, like class conflict.

I don't think we could move beyond sexism by institutionalizing default male criminality. Men talking to kids who aren't there own are typically suspected of being pedophiles, and there are instances of them being asked to move because there was an unaccompanied minor sitting next to them on a plane, because the policy of the airline was that the minor can't sit next to a man. I'm not trying to compete for victimhood -- that's stupid. I do have extreme doubt that the institutionalization of woman-encouraging/male-discouraging sexism has any ultimate value outside bourgeois politics. From a wider scope it is hard for me to see it as anything more than the shuffling around of who and how people are being systematically oppressed. It's ultimately like trying to fight fire with fire.

I honestly wasn't trying to make a point here -- I just wanted to share my story. I did have a suspicion that it would be mansplained away as irrelevant by some though.

[Comrade Jacob]

yeah that didn't happen

Ikr, even if it did - poor men :crying: