My roomie owes me $$$ - what to do?

[NoOneIsIllegal]

I wrote this angry rant on FB, so of course it will sound quite odd if I say something like "he's even been rude or mean to some of you."

TL;DR
My asshole roommate owes me $700, and has for a long time. I've tried being nice, and it now seems he might not pay me at all. What can I do about it? If I'm not going to get the money, what's a good way to troll him or piss him off?

Here's the rant:

So, it's come to this: my roommate, who owes me over $700, has practically said and shown he has no intentions of paying me back. This is an out-standing debt of almost a year now. I've tried to be nice about it for so long, but enough is enough. The guy landed a good-paying job a few months back, and makes roughly just as much, if not more than me. Yet, despite having almost no financial restraints besides paying rent, he has not yet paid me. The thing is, I DO. I have car payments, pay for gas, have credit card debt, etc. He has none of that.

He has told me several times out of his own free-will that he would pay me back. Now that we're not on the best-of-terms over other bullshit (such as him having someone moving in without my consent), and I'm not doing so well with money right now, I have asked politely for my money. I've been patient and a good friend about it for a year, but I'm tired of waiting.

He's been a passive-aggressive dick ever since he ever moved in, and has even been rude or mean to a few of you as well. I'm sick of it and I'm seeking ways to get as much as money back as I can while I am still living with him for these next few weeks. If I cannot get him, I seek to piss him off and troll him as hard as possible, and hopefully with your help! It will be funny; we'll have a good time.
Post suggestions! Here a few I've thought of:

- "Holding" something(s) expensive of his as motivation to cough up the money. Let's just think of it as a security deposit: once I get my money, I'll gladly you your stuff back.
- Just flat out stealing shit when I move out. I'm a pretty nice guy, but yeah, if he holds out on not paying me back, I might as well try to compensate where I can. He uses my shit all the time anyway, right?
- Holding a party here! He recently moved his computer/desk into the living room, on which he practically lives on when he's not working. Let's have some drinks and blare some music. I have the next few Friday's off and get obnoxious! He's super pretentious about music, so we can also blare music he hates.
- Phone zap. This is where a large amount of people text and/or call his phone. This is just a small prank, but some phones can't handle a large amount of constant text-messages being sent every second for a long time.

Ideas??? If I can't get my money back, which he has promises several times and now has gone back on his word, I might as well try and piss him off the next few weeks. I've been nice too-long to this douchebag .

[Deicide]

Give him a beating. Some people can't be reasoned with and will take advantage of you every chance they can get. $700 is a reasonable amount of money, it can pay a months rent, it's reasonable to give him a beating if he is refusing to pay. And find a new room mate, or a new place, this guy is useless and a leech.

[bad ideas actualised by alcohol]

Do this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZomwVcGt0LE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[citizen of industry]

Give him a beating.

And steal all his shit on your way out.

[Lenina Rosenweg]

If you and your room mate share the same social circle and have the same or overlapping FB "friends" you could embarrass him into it.You could contact-preferably call- his parents and tell them the situation. If you know someone else who can move in ASAP, and you have several very big muscular friends who work out, when you know your room mate will be out for some time, remove all his stuff except for his laptop/PC, music collection, whatever else would be valuable to him, put it in or near the outside trash,then have your friend move in. Keep your roommate's valuables locked up somewhere. Then throw a party.When he comes back he'll be in for a surprise.

If you don't want to be this confrontational with him, just take his laptop or something similar when he's away, keep it with a friend, and say he's not getting it back until he coughs up the 700.

With FB, I would be very persistent. Let his friends and acquaintances know.

I was in a situation a few years ago where a former room mate took a $300 PC I owned (a lot of money for me at the time) which he said he needed to use while I went overseas for a time. When I came back the room mate was now a former room mate, he had moved and took my PC with him. It took me several months to track down his work place (he was a Harvard astronomer, of all things). I left zillions of messages on his work phone, no response. I left several messages with his secretary/ receptionist, more in an effort to embarrass him then anything else.All to no avail. Finally one summer day I went to his office, taped a large, bold type faced letter to his door detailing my grievances with him, accusing him of theft, and I told him I was pressing charges with the Cambridge, MA PD. (Earlier the PD told me there was nothing they could do in this case) I arranged this note so it would embarrass him in front of his students and colleagues.

The next day I got a message from another ex-room mate that the astronomer guy had returned my PC to him. Persistence furthers.

[Jimmie Higgins]

If you don't want to be this confrontational with him, just take his laptop or something similar when he's away, keep it with a friend, and say he's not getting it back until he coughs up the 700.

I had a roommate who said that he was physically addicted to weed - I didn't believe it at the time, but then after about 8 months rooming together he got an advance and spent it all on weed, smoking like an once in a week I think, and then announced he was broke and wasn't going to pay rent.

I kidnapped his 3 foot glass bong until he paid for the last month's rent.

[ВАЛТЕР]

Call Joe Pesci.

[PC LOAD LETTER]

Dammit, Bobby! You've got to stand up for yourself. And you could use a few propane accessories to get this job done.

[ВАЛТЕР]

Observe.

mbwqeSV8Wc4

[NoOneIsIllegal]

I love you all.

So, I was talking to a few friends and a few comrades, and I think this is what I'm going to do:
I'm going to confront him one more time one-on-one. Be straight-forward about everything, and take no bullshit excuses. If he keeps shrugging me off like he has been, later this week operation Solidarity-Network is go. Large, small, medium - doesn't matter - I have tons of friends that said they are willing to come over and show some strength in numbers. A few of my really good friends who are bigger aren't afraid of confrontation either; which is nice, considering my roommate is a scrawny guy who doesn't like physical violence.
I'm going to confront him with a list of demands, and that he should immediately pay me X right now, and X amount every paycheck. No lenience.
If intimidation doesn't work... man, that really expensive and huge desktop monitor (he spends his life on the computer) sure is going to look nice in my storage area. Especially when it's been getting up to 110 F (43 c) degrees outside.

[Nox]

Here's a list of options for you:

Take a shit in the kettle and don't tell him

Buy a few kilograms of cheese, and grate it on to his bed when he is at work or whatever, then let it melt in the summer heat.

Print out a picture of his sister/mother and jizz on it then leave it on his bed.

Burn down the apartment.

Piss on his face while he's asleep.

[Anarcho-Brocialist]

Print out a picture of his sister/mother and jizz on it then leave it on his bed.

Burn down the apartment.

Piss on his face while he's asleep.

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:: thumbup1:

[shinjuku dori]

Burn down the apartment.

Classical :laugh:

Suggests!

[shinjuku dori]

Western is weird to have many people in large house. Instead, it's preferably to have small apartment that is affording to one person. That's position here. I prefer. I cannot understand if someone left filthy clothes. I guess this is inevitable in that situation.

Maybe you should forgive this. You will not see your money return I guess. You may cause more problem than you already had. Could it be worth it? I guess you could apply the same amount of energy to another thing and earn $700 with less strife.

Now you have learned that your way of living is wrong. You should change that. Have place for only your.

[Prometeo liberado]

Loan him more money so and get more people involved so that the rest of us that see see a dirt bag and an enabler for what they are have more shit to laugh about when we get home from dealing with other dirt bags and their enablers out in the world. O

I'm going to confront him one more time one-on-one.
One more time, huh? Apparently one getting lied to several times before wasn't enough. You got cash for me? I swear I'll be your friend and blah..blah...blah. Just gimme the cash goddamn it!:rolleyes:

[Ocean Seal]

Honestly, just steal his shit, and call it a day, and if he gets uppity about it just explain that he gave it to you to pay an outstanding debt.

[Ostrinski]

A simple formula is best. Demand the loot, and if he doesn't comply, destroy his shit and/or his face/body.

[PC LOAD LETTER]

Upper-decker in his bathroom (assuming he has a separate one)


Do it!!

[Pretty Flaco]

Western is weird to have many people in large house. Instead, it's preferably to have small apartment that is affording to one person. That's position here. I prefer. I cannot understand if someone left filthy clothes. I guess this is inevitable in that situation.

Maybe you should forgive this. You will not see your money return I guess. You may cause more problem than you already had. Could it be worth it? I guess you could apply the same amount of energy to another thing and earn $700 with less strife.

Now you have learned that your way of living is wrong. You should change that. Have place for only your.

In the US a lot of people can't afford a place only on their own and so a roommate is necessary.

[shinjuku dori]

Here no one can afford large house too. So we have small place each to live. Why you building large houses no one can afford??

[Prometeo liberado]

Here no one can afford large house too. So we have small place each to live. Why you building large houses no one can afford??

Where else are we going to store all the other shit we can't afford?

[PC LOAD LETTER]

Here no one can afford large house too. So we have small place each to live. Why you building large houses no one can afford??
This is even with apartments ... a one bedroom apartment here costs around $750 per month. A two bedroom may cost $900 per month. You get a room-mate and suddenly your rent is now $450/mo instead of $750/mo.

Unfortunately, property companies seem to only be building luxury apartments now, pushing the prices up. Now it's hard to find a one bedroom for $750 but still possible ... closer to $900 for a 1 now ...

They're catering to the huge yuppie (petty-bourgeoisie) demographic here

[edit]
Also, for that $750-900/mo one bedroom apartment ... Right now you're only going to get minimum wage or a little above that unless you have some in-demand skill or a higher level of education (shit, I see job postings requiring a bachelor's degree but only offering $10-15/hr all the time). At $7.25/hr (say, someone in fast food), 30 hours per week (these same places will never allow full-time work except for managers) the employee is getting $217.50/week before taxes. That's only $935.25 in a month (4.3wks) before taxes ... you can see why room-mates are necessary for a lot of people. A lot of people also work 2 to 3 jobs.

[shinjuku dori]

Please provide great answer.

[PC LOAD LETTER]

Please provide great answer.
Sorry, I edited my post with something else (apparently after you replied) ... these aren't big places

[Nox]

Mix some of your shit with the tub of nutella and don't tell him

(this only works if he likes nutella)

[Ostrinski]

When I was in Spain I saw whole neighborhoods of empty houses, pretty telling really.

[Os Cangaceiros]

Stay true to anarchist principles and set something ablaze!

Doesn't have to be something overly dramatic, perhaps a flaming bag of doo-doo would suffice.

[Firebrand]

Steal all his trousers and bury them in the garden (if you have no garden bury them in the bin). This will prevent him escaping without paying his debt. Then you may use any means you like to make his life miserable until he agrees to pay.

[Per Levy]

put a sawn of horse head next to him while he sleeps, when he wakes up he should get the message. but in all honestly, your solution might work too(probalyl better).

[Nox]

When he's taking a shower, walk in and join him and act like it's totally normal.

[Book O'Dead]

Steal all his trousers and bury them in the garden (if you have no garden bury them in the bin). This will prevent him escaping without paying his debt. Then you may use any means you like to make his life miserable until he agrees to pay.

No good. That's false arrest.


put a sawn of horse head next to him while he sleeps, when he wakes up he should get the message. but in all honestly, your solution might work too(probalyl better).

No good. Animal cruelty



When he's taking a shower, walk in and join him and act like it's totally normal.

Um, well...No good! Involuntary manshower.

Seriously, though, walk away. Don't get yourself into any unnecessary trouble on account of a crook.