emotional stunted/ expressing yourself

[black magick hustla]

over the years, i've had some casual relationships but i've never really had something that could be called a "girlfriend".

i think it has to do with the fact that i am really shitty at making my intensions clear or at sounding "cheesy" or being "romantic" etc. when i watch love comedies and shit i just cringe and look the other way. if i am by myself and watching some dumb couple shenanigan in some television romance or whatever i sometimes cover my ears and look the other way. i think i sometimes expect to just get drunk enough with someone to hopefully sleep with them. sometimes it works but it isn't really very good at establishing some sort of solid relationship.

i don't know if i want a "serious" relationship but i have definitely made myself miserable a few times for not having the balls/not knowing how to make my intensions clear. a few days ago i wrote this letter to a friend of mine i had a huge crush on that explained my feelings for her that i hid for a while. honestly, i wrote it more for me than her because i am tired of hiding my bullshit.

there is definitely something wrong with me in that dept. i get really uncomfortable in getting intimate with someone unless i have drank till my face melts. i can be really funny and friendly and welcoming but going beyond that is really hard for me. i told my friend in the letter that i sometimes feel like an alien staring down at some dumb monkeys trying to fuck each other and scratching my head about it. i am a monkey too, but too disfunctional to act like a monkey.

its something that definitely makes me miserable and i want to fix it. its really hard for me though, but i been getting better at it.

i wrote this because i imagine some people in this forum are that way. internet communities tend to attract people like that. i think if i am not able to fix that i will die alone or some shit which is like my deepest fear

[MotherCossack]

this shit is more common than you think....
I think there are loadsa folk who feel the same .... shy, embarrassed, hopeless, clumsy... and dwell on their fears rather than confront them.
A lot of people never sort it out... they just end up with someone out of necessity and accidentally, rather than 'socialise,' get to know people and find someone who is right for them.

Cos you know ... time marches on... and indeed starts to accelerate at a rate of knots... as we mature....
then before you know it you are losing your assets and becoming soiled goods.

Oh and trust me.... however bad you feel now,........ it's nothing compared to how you will feel in a few decades.... trust me!

One thing is sure.... you just need a bit of practise..... like most things...
-at first it is scary... almost beyond you ... a huge challenge and no fun at all...
-you practise a bit... not enjoying it ... but make yourself... if you want to improve...
- before you know it you are an expert... and cant believe how hard it was at first....

it is that simple....
be fine with risking embarrassment.... it is how you learn and it will pay off.

[gorillafuck]

i told my friend in the letter that i sometimes feel like an alien staring down at some dumb monkeys trying to fuck each other and scratching my head about it.omg so romantic <3



I'm kind of the same way. I don't know how to express myself well without just being really direct.

[The Machine]

im like the opposite but almost in a similar way. im good at being romantic and cheesy and shit but i dont really mean it, and tbh i havent had like really deep feelings for a girl since like 7th grade. which is shitty because i'm engaged to be married, like you being alone is pretty much my deepest fear and i rushed into it. and i care about my fiance, i dont want to hurt her, want the best for her, and sometimes enjoy spending time w/ her but it really doesnt get much deeper than that. kurt vonnegut said that "'While bachelors are lonely people, I'm convinced that married men are lonely people with dependents" and i think theres something to that.
but idk man the good thing about being young is theres time to try and work through this shit, thats how i try to deal with it at least

[Revolution starts with U]

From my own perspective it's the same reason I've never been able to hold down a job:

It's a game. I recognize it as a game, and that the game is bullshit. Therefore I cannot release my self-consciousness enough to just go with it and play the game... unless, of course, I get smash-faced drunk (as you said), and I really don't like to be drunk so...

basically, you're not alone comrade :lol:

[The Machine]

yeah dude thats basically it, like every manager i've ever had loved the shit out of me because i have good "hustle" or some bullshit, but at the end of the day you know thats what it is, bullshit. you never get any satisfaction out of work and its kind of similar to relationships you play the game and you get good at playing the game and you try to keep people around you happy but at the end of the day your just a fake ass empty person.

[black magick hustla]

she replied to my letter. one thing it taught me (basically it was the whole fucking lesson in this bullshit endeavour) is that i need to be more fucking honest. shit would have been so much different, but i am in another geographic area so i guess who gives a fuck.

so hey gueys be honest about this stupid shit

[Os Cangaceiros]

Oh and trust me.... however bad you feel now,........ it's nothing compared to how you will feel in a few decades.... trust me!

I'm sure he is soothed by your comforting words.

[gorillafuck]

she replied to my letter. one thing it taught me (basically it was the whole fucking lesson in this bullshit endeavour) is that i need to be more fucking honest.why? what did she say?

I am especially curious because I have a somewhat similar situation.

[#FF0000]

so hey gueys be honest about this stupid shit

that is pretty much what i try to do. generally just don't worry about sounding 'romantic' or whatever. i just try to speak as plainly as possible.

[OHumanista]

I was a lot like you in regards to approaching people. But I am great at romanticism because I am a bit of a natural romantic. My trouble was to express my interest.
I solved that eventually when I met someone online, and that way I felt a lot less afraid to tell her that I was interested in a relationship. Now I feel a lot more confident on that area. (and I am still in a relationship with her)

[HEAD ICE]

fly down to atlanta and for $800 we will have a crash course weekend in Head Ice's Pick Up Master session where we will go to all the night clubs, insult women to lower their self esteem and get their (fake) phone numbers.

[Salyut]

Some days I honestly wonder if I'm even human. I seem to be incapable of having the kind of relationships I see other people having. :s

[Vladimir Innit Lenin]

Probably just get out more, bud.

[MotherCossack]

Some days I honestly wonder if I'm even human. I seem to be incapable of having the kind of relationships I see other people having. :s

hmmm....

you took the words right out of my mouth!

I think I must have an essential part of my cranium missing.....
the bit dedicated to talking bullshit..... swallowing bullshit and generally bullshit interaction of a repetitive, mundane nature.

and the bit that stops me from getting upset... is pretty below parr..... that'll be my skin [metaphorical skin]

[black magick hustla]

Probably just get out more, bud.

lol me? trust me, i know enough people and socialize with enough people

[Rafiq]

You're better off the way you are.

[Vladimir Innit Lenin]

lol me? trust me, i know enough people and socialize with enough people

didn't mean to sound like a dick. Just saying, getting 'friendly' with peopel online, like in chit-chat here or whatever, probably changes your social norms for the worse. Just saying. It's why I try to avoid getting friendly over here (amongst other reasons!)

[black magick hustla]

didn't mean to sound like a dick. Just saying, getting 'friendly' with peopel online, like in chit-chat here or whatever, probably changes your social norms for the worse. Just saying. It's why I try to avoid getting friendly over here (amongst other reasons!)

what the fuck does that even mean lol

[The Douche]

Honestly dude, if you have trouble expressing your feelings, and being emotionally honest and stuff, its probably best that you're not in a serious relationship.

I have been with the same girl for like 7 or 8 years know I think. We don't talk about feelings, we don't tell each other when we are upset, we don't discuss anything. Every now and then I just get really angry and yell (usually something really minor sets it off and I start talking about totally unrelated things) and scream, and she stands there.

Then we apologize and act like nothing happened.





Its better to be emotionally immature on your own, than hurt somebody else.