another love poem [Archive]

hazard

12th December 2003, 07:27

Besides the fact I can almost see you smile, somewhere
Though I pretend not to really care
Exactly where
That somewhere is, I know there
Isn't much for me to do, besides this
Bow to your rather meek request to speak more of bliss
A simple task, for me to perform
Keys to dance my hands upon without scorn
Issuing forth an account of this here song
Mark it with a clashing of a bong
Of course I am right, how could I be wrong?
Waiting forever was not that long
I'd wait for longer and a day
Just to hear you say
Something more to me
Then let me be
Wait forever and another day and
Another, sure I heard you state that you did understand
Now I will refer to a recalled theme
About shoe like sales of a flesh filled scene
That states just because doesn't mean that you care
I grit my teeth and shriek out "Really fair"
Humbly then do I prepare
For another all time count no matter how square
It might seem
I shant allow an end to this dream
Of your, well, all of you, every last instance
Minute occurance
Detail, motion, sound and action
As playfully you'd divide it up into some sort of faction
Shaking my head
No, instead
Could we please do something nice for a change
Even if this might sound strange
Try an oceanside
A wonderful view of the tide
Where we can watch the world, try
This as a live offer, my
Alternate was to just find some sort of feeble accomadation
Where we'd be able to huddle for warmth, and find this sensation
Pleasing in its barest need
Vowing if we had to we could vacate the urge to breed
Now you shake your head, no
Guess I'll just have to go
Along and do whatever else you'll let
Forgetting how long its been since I've scratched a fret
Upon a bass, or my guitar
Funny how you misspelled bar
In a forgotten response on a called fiasco
Must I again shake my head, no?
Pause with me for another minute
As I say hold on, and you tap your toe, I'm too deep within it
To know what else I could do without
Hearing you shout
My name and say you love me
Not knowing what else I can do since my lifelong plea
Has been answered, finally
So I start to finish this, my third of three
My breath increases and I want only to run
Anywhere towards you, my sun
Though redefined once again, as you claimed still
I'd be this to you, as if my will
Would superseed the stars
To stake my claim on pluto, venus, mercury and mars
You'd become the earth
Its depth so vast that all of its mirth
Lay unseen and unknown
While the skylit throne
Myself, as you call out in haste
Could not be as simple to waste
Itself on a single body within the sky
Words so convincing I regress into a fly
If only to buzz past and salute the tower
Filled upon this awesome power
You invigorate, you provide, you protect and purge
So fully I feel your surge
That I now also smile
Been a while
Since I didn't want to stop snapping keys
Does that mean four tommorrow? Please
Consider at the current rate
That by the dawning of New Years date
I'd be writing a novel every night
And you know I will to keep us tight
I shake my head one more time
Whichever way I can, four it is! That's just fine...

hazard

15th December 2003, 05:15

Been on a bender all weekend long
I squint and wonder if that was wrong
Did not drink a drop of booze or smoke a whiff of dope
High and flying upon my love for you, I hope
That the product, make that products produced
If you need me to say, I will, yet skipping what can be deduced
Finally finished that foolish frantic foray of frenzy
Monthes ago I had wanted to let you see
Like so; upon my chariot, as it was still merely the think tank then
When completed I would have rolled on over and when
Under your eyes I finally fell
Would have had such words to tell
"At last, my queen, the first task has been performed"
"In its tablature the world has been warned"
"Of not you and not of me, but of us"
"Pretending nothing had happened, forgetting all of the fuss"
"That has actually occurred between now and then"
"Before, somehow, all of reality seemed to again"
"Falsify itself in every other instant"
"And only in a constant chant"
"Could I continue as I'd whisper your name and over once more"
"How it is only you, only you who I could ever adore"
Before I could continue you'd silence my ramble
Which would taper off in a linguistic stamble
And as your mouth began to part
My heart was given a sudden start
"My darling, my love, my king"
"Must you make this so harsh as to sting?"
"There was no need, none at all"
"For I heard you long ago, and I have answered your call"
"You performed this task from a future time"
"When something, though I know not what, soured like lime"
"Or did it? I cannot say"
"I move, as always, in such a way"
"That is mysterious"
"Lets still keep this serious"
What would I have done here?
Try and make myself more clear
Pop open the case and present my arms
As proof I am a vicitm to the slightest of charms
Complete yet another task on the list
Weep myself another form much like the mist
That surrounds yourself wherever you go
Is there something else you need to know?
So you don't say anything, and I return to reality
Such a place I really never wanted to be
Since when we're near and on
Nothing ever goes wrong
How real is that, how sure can I get
Promise to remind me when I start to forget
Now my head still aches and is dull and dizzy, dumb
Remembering such a short series of words you did hum
Almost fifty hours ago
Until you finally eased me up with a "Whoa!"
More impressed, I should think
Waiting until morning to see, or rather hear, you wink

hazard

16th December 2003, 04:43

Between ourselves
Like woodland elves
Perched within the branches of our home, our tree
Far and wide we look and see
Things in the distance, away
As the wind begins to blow and sway
The branches and await the bough
For if it should break, when and now
My head shakes
At earthquakes
Still not even trembling in the ground below
Distances measured in leagues still to go
In the meantime
Between the branches we flow like wine
Bark no longer course but smooth
Since we have found and we reach our groove
Leaves we wear for clothes that hide
Our pink and ticklish underside
Adorned upon your head a crown of twigs, snug
Worn like a regal sign to lug
About, though it be light
It indicates value upon its sight
Whether you would happen to wear or wield
This as your position, I shall shield
You whatever way I could, I can
Only want to field and fan
Away anything that would break your balance
And seek out and find everything that would enhance
You and your beauty, your mind and charm
I would sound the alarm
If anything were to threaten or begin to encroach
Us or you and begin to approach
From any direction and challenge our keep
Yet you wouldn't allow me to take to the ground with a leap
Together we would fall and fight
Chasing off anything within our sight
None could strike or harm our tree
For in it we are full and free
None could harm or hurt us at all
For in love we can only ever fall
Into each other as we have finally been freed
Together in this we comfort every need

hazard

16th December 2003, 07:34

Bemused, I reach a hysteric as you mutter on
Each word so true and full, stating that I am not nor could have been wrong
To place it all upon your stake
As I return to heaven, its haven a tear filled lake
Full of joy and full of value pre-defined
Years it seems for you I have pined
Finding a glimmer, a fragment, a shape
Keeping it hidden so that if needed I could escape
This world when it began to overwhelm
Returning to you and me within our realm
Found another fragment here, an image and thought
A moments recluse after a series of battles fought
Thrust out again onto the street
Searching for another way to chase off defeat
That seems to be a moment away
One wrong move, one bad play
And my memory would serve as a hollow reminder of all of these and of those
Oppurtunities I took and failed to vacate such woes
If they are mine I carry them high
If they are yours, I can only try
To attempt to console and to compensate
To search for a way within and contemplate
A solution through method
Improvised if needed and into the flood
That is a storm of the brain
Still I strain
Not to fall fully into our known recluse
Where apart, we're together, and free from abuse
A second that breaks into a thousand, million moments
Each moment broken again, and fragments
Such as these that only keep me safe and warm and pleased
Trusting you with my heart that you siezed
Not knowing whether you stole my dearest dream
Replaying it in reality as if played out in a scene
Or if you magically knew this
Sharing my fondest dream of achieivng bliss
Drawing me forward and inviting me in
Where shall this end, for I know not where it did begin
You corner your eyes and turn just so slow
All of time ceases to flow
Too much all at once, and I need to pull away
Like a plane in a nose dive, though I wanted to stay
On course, the speed so fast
That it was over, at last
Need to get back, I want to, I have to go
Countdown ticking away towards a hurricanes blow
My mind censors this memory, for it shines too bright
Using it at will does not seem right
So I tuck it away and keep it safe and secure
Awaiting your arrival so I can be sure
That you are with me, for now and now forever
There is no way I could leave you, never
Not just because of this, no, so much more and still I cannot find an end in sight
As I search so far ahead I can only feel fright
Past all of time into an imageless hole
Waiting for you all over again, so I could surrender control
Rather than have one less breathe to share with you sure
Wallowing in our divinity; pure

hazard

17th December 2003, 06:51

Calm, like I know I must
Be now that in your sacred trust
I search and find some sort of way
To turn this from reality into a play
Mark off the last ten as a field test
Until you tell me which one you liked best
Seems that two began and had a different tone
Than the ones of me moping and falling prone
As a victim of circumstance and pain
Trying my dearest and having to strain
Every woken moment spent fighting my will
Wanting to rush on out and offer my guts to spill
Shouting "I love you!" and repeating over a dozen times
Filling that mountain of pages with bottles of ink to cover all the lines
Protesting our position in a silent, mournful and pointless, ridiculous manner
Reading aloud and pausing only to hold my head glumly to avoid a blubbering stammer
You should have reminded me of our book of these
That only sparkled momentarily, if you please
On the casual events that brought thought to life
When in the field we witnessed and saw such strife
In my mind, and in yours as well
Though your perspective is perplexing, sometimes I cannot tell
When we are in perfect agreement
Matters unimportant, as things went
From bad to better to worse to the best
To better than all this and better than the rest
A book that isn't too bad, if you don't mind this sort
Of moaning and moping and meaning taken for sport
Completed, but waiting for a new style to compose
A new style you told me as I left for you to have chose
And on the connect, as I finally draw back
Through years almost past four, on a mental hack
Scirpting as I went so far as to state
Thoughts and actions and indications directed by fate
Such as I said this, and someone said that
Who held the glove and who held the bat
Who took the driver and who held the five
Who issued the commands that kept the other alive
Years ago
As if you didn't know
I had to stop and wait for you
Until I began our book, and found this out too
On the second page, without a second thought I began
To script our dialogue without skipping a step, and it just ran
On and on, and didn't seem to ever have any sort of an end ever in sight
Until you firmly made sure we were tight
Enough to slam to a halt
Greying the area to scatter such fault
In this area now I find so many details
That they all run into each other and all of its trails
However, that chapter is done
And not a moment too soon, as the sun
Only sets to rise for another day
You whisper to me "Where there's a will there's a way"
Thinking too perfect, too this, too that and too true
Muttering softly "How could you?"
Still unable to pull away, I try to laugh now to shake
Off the tremors inside me that start to quake
So
I am off, as if to go
Into the forest I run with my head down, searching
For some branches and laurels as I soon will sing
A crown to construct for royalty
To adorn upon your head where it was meant to firmly
Rest as you want to wear
It upon your shining hair
As I resume to worship, and in return
No longer does my stomach churn
My heart beats a little stronger and more
Raising my head once again off of the floor

hazard

18th December 2003, 08:51

Considerations now falling closer and quicker
Joining at the conjoinment that is full and thicker
I now pause for an instant
I pause and consider the constant
You, wondering just how you are doing
You, knowing my efforts aren't lost on a wing
Of a sparrow within a flock
Flying past and lost in that instant I pause to find words that talk
Specifically to you, only to you alone
Alone with me, in our secret zone
Peering within
Finding it still difficult to begin
Sure, I could compliment your stunning ways
That have filled all of my days
With laughter and wonder and hope and meaning
Still uncertain if I am dreaming
Awake as all that I do
Has something to do with you
Whether I am turning off my heart to examine the sense data
With my aching brain, a
Device I cannot value in place of my heart
Or diving into our passion and returning to our most recent start
And this is funny, I made out a plan
To use a systematic like approach; a program that ran
On each of these entries
Gathering like an army to sieze
Another volume and add weight to my position
Then, yesterday, you wave it off but not as if to shun
But to welcome and enjoy and entertain
Sometimes you make yourself so plain
My head starts to spin and I must sit
Having another dose before I cringe in a fit
Laying waste to my attempt to speak of you
As my queen, my partner, my love, my friend, do
I seek continuity from day to day
As we trade and we say
The most universal form that they all return to
Proving my theory is sound and true
Nevermind all of this, I will try to make good
Just as you deserve, just as I know I would
Eventually lose all of these existence based observations
That can only appear as a series of preset equations
Return with me to a proper time, a proper place
Away from coordinates mapping with precision the space
Between us, and a duration that spans
Only as a measure of repetitive scans
Across the field I spot you like a beacon
There is nothing else, as the sun
Breaks the clouds at that instant, that moment
Heaven it seemed had finally sent
You to me
You answered my plea
Now hold on as I break
And add another for you to take

hazard

18th December 2003, 09:32

Cool makes this season
One void of doubt and treason
The field is still green
And still you seem
So real, that unreality seeps in
Vowing now not to veer off course as I do begin
Lining either side are rows of trees
Lined like an assembly, to silently please
Themselves, perhaps us
Though it matters not as I start to mush
Seeing you so clearly that my sight begins to fade
I shut my eyes and fend off a tirade
That sounds not so gruff as to lose cohesion
Sounding only about as smooth as a rapid brook would run
"Goodness, my God, what has thou presented before me?"
"She blinds me on sight, she sets me free"
"From this intermediary position of first sins design"
"So free in fact that I fear I can never do fine"
"She overwhelms and replaces all that controls"
"She softens also and always consoles"
"This I see and this I know as I cannot search"
"Ever more, as now I lurch"
"As she, this vision, this fulfillment of prophesy"
"Seems to have taken some sort of notice upon me"
Your expression is one I cannot read
My brow furrows as if to plead
Something my mind cannot formulate as fact
Shrug do I not as I cannot act
As if in a callaous way
My ears don't prick up as you start to say
Something in a voice, yours, that makes me go deaf
Its range so far above my normative clef
Could I count ten octaves too high or too low?
Not a chance, my mind had to go
Somewhere, nowhere, it matters not to me
Suddenly, you break the silence firmly
"I will speak very soft as I know you have been anxious"
"Though I feel like you, why me, why the fuss?"
"So I'll only be short as I acknowledge you there"
"A long time to wait thinking noone could care"
"Startle you I should not, as I think you may run"
"Away from me and from us before we can stun"
"Ourselves silly, and rate ourselves legends bold"
"Wondering when it is you will make sure that you've told"
"Everyone, everywhere, that you finally found me"
"And in finding I have set you free"
Still in the distance, your features too soft to be sure
Suddenly I realize that you have become not just the cure
But the poison, the antidote, the syringe and the vein
The white, the black, the skull and the brain
Not just this, but more and too much
The rest of reality dissapears as such
Matters do not concern me anymore
Than obstacles between this distance, the cliff and the shore
I try to rush to you, but I cannot get near
So I freeze, still no closer, just as I fear
That I can never bridge the gap
You softly give your hands a gentle clap
As the ground itself seems to pull me an inch or two towards you
Clearly indicating there is nothing I can do
Yet I consider, and duplicate
Then you nod as this simple replicate
Seems to have an effect, though not as profound
I take this as some proof that I am correct in knowing in you I have found
Salvation and elation
As with every instant I see this in some form of demonstration
You grow a little more real, and so believable
That I quickly grow full
Of what it is you send
To heal all my wounds and mend
Myself fast
Wanting only every perfect second to draw on and last
For as long as eternity can allow
Too long, though it seems, as my head starts to bow
Until I must contemplate this distance, must I go?
I don't want to leave, I think you know
So I invite you over and you agree
Thats when I see
That whats blocking you is also that which blocks me
Strange that I consider this free
Now I wonder how to develop words that explain
This dilemna, as I strain
Now to gather enough courage to get a little near again
As I extend another pause to resume this on tommorrow's when

hazard

18th December 2003, 15:37

Comforted by the proximity
Across the field I feel this as in your vicinity
Knowledge of what is right, what is just
Descends upon me as I know that it must
Your words echo upon me and take on weight
Knowing only that if I have to I'll wait
For as long as you, as long I have to, as long as there is
And longer than that, if I have to, so what if I miss
That interlude before I saw you across
The anticipation held close, as a loss
Before I knew you were there, for real
Listening closely for any sounds like a deal
To be made
Until finally I found out how I'd really get paid
The ground stopped moving after a few more moments
Feeling it with all and every last one of my senses
You are a little closer, and details grow
This field no longer just grassy, as the season did sow
Some wildflowers blue, gold and red
I stop to consider these instead
Of vacantly indicating to no gain
That you are all that I live for, all that I strain
Slowly bending my knees to seat upon the ground
A flower, like you, seems to speak to me as it also found
Such a way as in searching to find
A similiar person, a similiar mind
It spoke up, it sounded just like you
The way it intoned and tossed words out true
Petals like silk and a soft, dainty stem
I dared not pluck it from the earth, as then
It was that I glanced towards your direction and found
That it spoke not a thing, it was you who made its sound
The flower was dropped and all of my attention
Turned back towards you, as your tone became fun
"Now although the hour grows late and the dawn itself closes fast"
"Let's make these last few moments today we have last"
"If we both really concentrate and find within our focus a hold"
"These last minutes we share can be frozen for a while if we're bold"
"Watch in the distance as the sun refuses to rise and shine"
"Stay with me here and don't think of the ecological line"
"You drew and thought I could not respect, that was a hoot of an assumption"
"Days before when all thoughts of any consumption"
"Fled from your will as you were sustained by our love"
"Watch now overhead; a crow and a dove"
And over my shoulder each of these flew
I sat still wondering how you knew
At last I had it and snapped awake again and still I did see
The sun just out of sight still radiantly shining
The crow as it flew and the dove as it glided
The flower within a soft wind as it gently chided
And you still in the distance, closing somehow still
How it was you gave me such a thrill
I wanted to say something out, and holler in like kind
About you and love and searching always only to find
Myself here, slowly closing to you, and here I am still
Unable to reshape reality to increase my fill
Of moments like these, as far and so many more
Were to come and still I imagine a door
Somwhere between us that I need to open and walk through
Only to rush more quickly on over to you
At last time is forced to resume
And continue to consume
We were able to pause and keep it at bay
For how long? Neither of us can say
So I watch as you yourself have to take a seat
As I realize that again we fought of defeat
I'll do it every day with you just to be close and kind
The hours then once again begin to unwind

peaccenicked

18th December 2003, 16:38

here is one of mines.

The kiss of life

This small heart of mine is oft times big
and in this expanse I sometimes hide
both the very large and very little,
To protect you from both my love and hatred

For when I love you
I am overwhelmed in the delight I take from you
And when I hate you it is not you I hate
I wish your every single pain to cease immediately
when death appears more than love, the solution

If each kiss was very special, if each hug could set you free
I'd become a big gorrilla, to beg a little on one knee

This big heart of mine is sometimes little
and in this implosion
I often open my strengths as well as weaknesses

For when I love you
I see beyond the tragedy and despair
I see beyond the misery that fights against your solid care
And when I hate you, it is not you I hate
But the cruel seas in which your love seems drowning

If this kiss was very common, if this hug could keep you here
Let my poem be like a long lost grandma
who wipes away your every tear

Urban Rubble

19th December 2003, 01:03

Who's it for ? =) j/k

Good stuff, although I know dick about poetry so don't get too excited =).

as far as attraction goes, I sometimes can't tell the difference if its attraction or repulsion. I'll just keep on figuring its attraction until I get another knee to the crotch, slap to the face, or drink down my pants.

I know how you feel man, I'm the same way. Well, I was, I have a steady girlfriend now. Almost 3 years !

dopediana

19th December 2003, 01:06

wow. those are excellent. i'd kill to have someone write poetry for me like that. not to know that they love me or anything, but to know that i'm making them suffer so much. that's what's so beautiful about love/infatuation. call me a sick *****, but it rocks.

hazard

19th December 2003, 07:37

UR:

I was kind of only partially serious in that quotation, you know, trying to be sort of funny. That is if you are into self deprication. I've never been slapped, kneed or otherwise. Physically that is.

ATP:

does it really sound like suffering? I should change my tone if it does. to me I'm sort of trying to explain how terrible my life was before I met this woman, or something like that. I'm hoping to build to a more elaborate interconnection, as it exists in reality, but am so caught up in the journey there that I am lagging a little.

hazard

19th December 2003, 08:14

Casually I watch as you bend your legs to a cross
As you seat yourself to no loss
Of stature or direction
To resume our silent inflection
Feeling myself beginning to nod away
You shush my mind for another day
And into our mind's eye, you had to admit
Since we both grew tired as the skyline became lit
With another glorious rise of the nearest star
Some think its millions of miles away, so far
So as to never get close enough to touch
Or too warm, too volatile, too much
Yet as we both drift off together
We seem to smile soflty at such an idea, never say never
For in the land we journey into asleep
The highest mountain we'd scale no longer seems so steep
That distance still there, though now it is represented
With images and metaphores and ideas not yet fermented
In that brief, shocking moment when my mind makes the transfer
Into a dream, I am always so sure
That you have left me for good
I try and start myself awake, a nightmare defined as it should
Yet when I'm exhausted, like when I refuse to rest
As I'd try to accomplish each friday and push my body to the test
My eyelids grow too heavy and close tight and secure
Regardless of whether or not I am sure
That in my recollected dreams you were with me or not
Ussually I end up wandering around and searching alot
Now that I've drawn past that concious barrier
You await and greet me, so divine and merrier
Than we are when awake
At this time, for the sake
Of a connective understanding
Our first day together has ended, and neither of us seemed keen on landing
I explained here my worry of falling asleep
I'd rather sit numb trying only not to weep
Until all of my senses would fade
Never knowing if we'd ever get paid
Like a statue I'd turn to dust in time
After my memory has faded into a stuttering rhyme
But what am I speaking of here?
You, as I already said, have greeted me yet still I ramble of fear
Perhaps you rolled your eyes or gave me a smile
Been not so long since then, though it seems like a while
So I snicker at that and feel like smiling too
Realizing quite surely that it is so true
And in this dream, our first that we share
I feel lively enough to do more than stare
With my ears, my nose or my eyes
In this era when all we did was shift about lies
That descended like condescension
Leaving no prospect for ascension
For either of us, as judgement seemed past
We flipped off the world and vowed we would be the last
Our laughter seemed sharp, but protected by love
As it washed away the grief and greed from higher above
You blinked in one shade while in the other
As we darted about between our father and mother
The sky
On high
The earth
Of girth
Our field was alive as we slept there at peace
As somehow as we slept we awoke wearing some sort of fleece
I looked to you as you looked to me
Smirking a little, not too sad or happy
Did you give this to me?
We both thought together, as we did see
A new dimension drew us awake to compare
Not too long after we just started to stare
For maybe a minute or more
Until the sky rumbled like the earth, our floor
Starting us out of our little trance
Shaking us to our feet to stretch like a dance
I blow you now, right here, a kiss
So that if we must part for a moment you know that I miss
You more than I could ever imagine
Only finding you as turn within
Myself to find our spot again and hide
Hearing off in the distance the rising tide

hazard

20th December 2003, 03:53

During the brief interlude where we stayed awake
I felt the nod of slumber take
Me back to another dream, another vision
And now that I'd met you there already I decided to have another one
Another what, I should clarify
Another nap, for maybe two hours, and later try
For another three, maybe four
Make that five if my head gets sore
Just as I start to drift, I roll to my left and start to close my eyes
Only to find you laying there, besides
The fact that on the date of today as this is written
You preceded this idea and spake of how badly I have been smitten
By who? Who else, you, yes you
And I even have the evidence to prove it too
So, if you don't mind the cliche
I roll over and find you beside me as I lay
The space, it seems
Became the remnants of all of my dreams
And as you slowly sing me to sleep
Your words enter into me in a heap
"Intermingling with the sounds as they preserve"
"I promise once again that for you I reserve"
"A little extra something"
"Even now I know that you'd die if you heard me sing"
"Or hum a simple bar, a note"
"And off to heaven you'd softly float"
"So now off to sleep I send you for a time"
"Please don't worry about me, just rest, I'll be fine"
"In a minute or five I'll wake you once more"
"Then we can together find a way through that door"
Yet before I can resist, or say a thing
Into that slumber you take me under your wing
So silently I whisper a word, or three
And you close your eyes next as we fall into our tree
Now that we're there
I can tell you I care
That I love you, saying it once more
As I fall onto the floor
Watching you rush about to catch me before my head
Cracks open instead
Of landing in your arms to be held and healed
Its ideas still unborn being given to you to wield

hazard

20th December 2003, 04:36

Drawn from an old, almost ancient memory of a row of pews
Something becomes clear, though it is so clear I start to confuse
My idea and its drafting into a reality based event that had
Been realized and was so awesome that it quickly made me sad
Once completed and I stood almost alone, yet not defeated
Aware and wary that eventually we would have both retreated
Away in directions opposite, to gain in distance and furthur
Early in the morning, quiet, and just a little bit more sure
I see only the reversal and the modernization and strangeness
Not really warranting the need for the old time kind of bless
A prosession and a party and a priest and a process
Shaking my head, not for me, that is, unless
Someone, you, could convince me to forget all of my grief
For in your contemplation I am overcome and find such relief
That I would simply tie upon my neck that bow and collar
Have it tied so tight that I couldn't shout up or holler
Complaining about the heat or the ridiculous expression
Of that person, or of the fact that you will ever be the only one
Fuming at the cost of all of the invitations, the cake
And how it was that for the love of God, for the sake
That the risen lord christ almighty himself would have been
Displeased at the complete travesty of such a scene
Too young I was then to sort of want nothing more
Than something as normal as this, as you mark up the score
Fine, I hear you agree
Not even forcing me to drop to my knee
Actually, as you remind me so many times that I laugh
This was just as it was meant to occur, just as it hath
Had to become and so it became, so it is as it was
When I day dreamed at the normative affirmation, doves
Became crows and pews became benches, rice into beans
A reversal or a shift on most things, so it seems
The organ switched into a drumset and a computer ran
Orders from above as sequenced within some sort of program
You wore black, like I always loved to see you in
Before I could dream of ever not wanting to live a life of sin
A slight alteration, and some strange sounding sounds called songs
Moping about and stuttering about how many wrongs
Became right and I wonder how it is that you found this one out
I mean, its not like I went on a rant and began to shout
Of this little old, sort of bored sort of conclusion
Most people would find to be an indication of delusion
And not just find out, but put into play
And then speak of it outloud as you did today
What can I say?
But the usual bit, a thank you and I'll miss
Hearing you literally give me that kiss
This dream, as dreams go, start to fade into more and then less
Did you hear that St. Francis once again did bless
Our little shift, our little tweak and test
I'll continue more on this on the next one, the rest
Will deal with others, maybe realized or maybe still hidden
So, until it is, until then

hazard

20th December 2003, 05:25

Driving through this dream and into the next, I am out of your sight
Still feeling high on the power of belief in love and all of its might
Although such a belief is void and null outside of you and your wisdom
Outside of the moon light, outside of the stars, clouds and sun
Behind the wheel I listen to you speak, like hunter in his fighter
While all of the hey's you send draw me to targets like a tiger
In the night, roads no longer visible as I have become so full
That there is nothing left for me to do or think outside of your pull
So we get to talking
As I have grown up and no longer feel that I can sing
I try to keep my words smooth, as I want you to hear
How much more I think I have to endure if only to be near
You once again, for another day, another hour, another minute
No longer hesitating I speak if only to begin it
"Begin my speech for the morning, early and crisp and quiet"
"I'm so sort of still worried about all the things I'd beget"
"If only to take a whiff of your hair, a taste of your neck"
"To hear you speak for hours, non-stop, about all the heck"
"We've already had to put up with, be put through and then"
"Have another batch of people try it all over again"
"Such sad and sorry and lame ideas that won't ever fly"
"Still, I must inquire, is there ever any reason why"
"I can only look to transcendence for any purpose worth enduring"
"My understanding of this, as such is such a thing"
The tape rolls on furthur and still
It seems just too easy to shape it into our will
And then, as this dream carries on
Something from the treeline startles me wrong
Humming to the recording of a sour girl turned away
I have no time to say
A prayer so fast that it would save me from this
Such a narrow miss
Lucky to avoid the lampost, but not a lampost this time
A deer with a half rack that fits in with the rhyme
After the rush of adrenaline subsides
I chuckle and go over the last sequence of rides
I see in the road a crow that feared not being touched as I rode
Close enough to toss it into this ode
It seemed unconcerned as it knew I would rather be hit
Than hit it, as in doing so I'd throw such a fit
The saint has indicated like this more than thrice
Sending out the dear not just to be firm, but nice
Reality, once more
Tallied up to yours and my score
Dare I suggest that this means not what my analysis should state
About divine intervention, about transcendence and fate?
Lonely for this long
Then I cue up our song
This dream fades into another and then
One more; and when
That is complete
I vow only to consider defeat
As an improbable event
Gone the same way that the dodo went

hazard

20th December 2003, 07:02

Deep now, and deeper still
So alone I feel that there is no way that I will
Ever find you ever again, for as long as there is
I will only wander about and whail about how I miss
Those things you'd say so sweetly to me
Like how you stayed near for seven days and then more, allowing your ability to be free
From standard obligations
From weekend vacations
From drink and dance
From Seattle and France
To be ignored so that we could stay connected close and dear
Though it seemed neither of us were anywhere near
The other
Your love came upon me so vast it began to smother
And add embarrassment as I asked you not to say
Who it was you decided to cue that track and play
Especially considering the current bit, the current date
Connecting it futhur back than I could contemplate
Somehow I am still aware of us sleeping on that once boring field of green
Lined only with trees on all sides, it did seem
That as we closed the distance flowers did sprout
And we became clothed, and birds began to fly about
In the darkness as I begin to stagnate and stall
In this dream I walk into a wall
Then I walk through it, like I would walk right through a door
Then I see you, there you are, wondering what you'd have in store
"No need to ponder, my loving partner"
"This time its up to you and I'm sure"
"That whatever it is you decide to do"
"It will make me feel just a little less blue"
"I care not what it is, anything, just don't you dare"
"Think of leaving me if you have a care"
"As long as we are doing something together"
"We can both be pleased at forgetting the never"
"Time we spent just waiting and wondering and wrecking"
"Each other's thrawts at trying to protect our love; our thing"
So I start to worry that I might not pick right
And you might object and leave me on sight
Until I see another one of our exchanges
Scooped up and sold at the whim of a dollars deranges
What is not, and that I do
A "yep" and a virus and a sound type too
"Should I ask if you'd still carry my driver? Should"
"I wonder if you could"
"Wield it like I know you were made to fully and with shape"
"To swing and connect and force a way to escape"
"The picks and pulls of all of those"
"Who we both have identified as our foes"
"The bullhorn in one hand, the driver in the other, full"
"While I carry the five and wait to strum my artillery and pull"
"Off another barage and clear a path towards"
"A quiet place where we will strum a thousand million chords"
You flick that smirk again and open the trunk
Knowing exactly where it would be, as I had thunk
It so long ago, on that night
When you made the call since you knew what was right
Because there's just the two of us
And you waited for just a second for me to nod and bus
Over in agreement and then you gave me the thumbs up and a nod of your own
How quickly, even now, I become so prone
To have had you play with me at all
Let alone make that promise true within the fall
I will take the lead, if only to draw the fire
While behind me you intone with the voice of a full choir
We sing our clubs that shine and blaze
A path until today, so many day's
Spent that I grow rather sad
At the same time so very glad
Again at what we've had and what we've done
And at your agreement that we've only really just begun
Within the field you rise before me
Just as is ussually
It was back in those days, past
When I'd stomp my foot and wait for you to cast
A direction for me to move
As I was certain there was nothing left for me to prove
Without you with me, without you on me
That was when you started to let me see
That this much was true, and we were seeing eye to eye
You strike the alarm and wait for me to awake so you can say hi

hazard

20th December 2003, 07:44

Definately I think I should stay in sleep
So clean I dream of goats and sheep
Shepherds and wolves and mountains
Streams and water falls and fountains
But you implore
As my alarm strikes up once more
So I roll over to your side of the bed
Finding you there, instead
Of the empty space I feared would never be filled
The beating of my heart strengthens as it is willed
With a surge of passion
My alarm, again, as all ration
All thought suddenly drops as low as it can
My mine, I mean mind, just ran
Off and into your care
So I awake and see you exactly where
We had left off the day, or night before
The alarm was silenced and I did not get sore
At the fact that you did awake me
As you were the first thing I did happen to see
With my minds eye, with my eyes, my ears and my hands
I glanced down to survey all of our lands
Still nothing had changed from the day before
Not that I needed any more
Than you and me alone in an abyss
Constructing reality from that and this
My instinct is to only rush over to you and collapse
Into your arms, regardless of whether or not I would relapse
Away from yet another day such as these
However, I cannot move and only begin to wheeze
So I implore, so I plead
You are all that I need
All that I hope for, and all that for I could ever wish
Upon that disc of two startled fish
It is you, and then on another disk
Upon my gameboard of risk
My globe to be tossed and my games to be lost
It is still you, name your cost
You hear me, and you do explain
That no matter how much I strain
Fate, as has been defined, cannot be trifled with nor can it be willed
Just as time itself cannot be killed
So I think all of this, and all of that too
I still know not what I would, what I will do
If I ever awoke and found you nowhere in sight
I bite
Down as hard as I can and close my eyes and clench my fists, so tight
Possessing such knowledge cannot be considered right
You understand
And your sensible demand
Is to just relax, allright?
To be strong and remind everyone with a sample of might
So I flex the cerebellum and mutter
Another time for a bit of a break, trying not to stutter
How it is I feel for you and how I will still think of you every day
Until we get closer still and can finally say
With our eyes locked and drawn
Regardless of just how long
It would take
Regardless if you'd see me quake
I would watch you part your lips to say
That you wouldn't have it any other way

hazard

22nd December 2003, 10:47

Exactly as I rise, looking to the distant changes in place
My eyes are shut, my ears gone deaf, still you are in the space
That is who I am, all that I can ever be
Though I cannot hear or see
You anywhere
I am sure that if I go to the right place, and the right time
As time keeps on moving, there would be some sort of mime
Like mimic version of yourself
Out of sequence, an echo bouncing off of a shelf
Instead of you there across the field, waiting for the sun to break the line
Of the horizen, fine
I will not settle for a misequenced stutter
That would still cause my heart to almost flutter
For as strange as this may seem
You are with me now, and much more clean
You will me to keep my eyes shut, for they only serve a secondary purpose
You close my ears, as I need not propose
To hear you mull through
Though everything from you is true
You ask me to trust, as you did long before
And in my mind I saw us upon that rocky shore
In the early morning when we fought the machine
In some sort of strange, livid, day dream
We sat upon a washed up log, dry
The moon lighting up the coastline sky
Our firepit burned down to embers, smoking
While we strummed along and began to sing
Of our need and our desire, our will, our chance
Overlaying the grid that is the cosmic dance
Just like Dover we notice the craggy cliffs so high
That one false step would slip and my
Foot would have to be caught just before
I'd stumble down upon the shore
Though which set of us would be the echo
Whether any of us could ever know
Listen not with my ears or look with my eyes, as within I find
You as you said you'd be with me, kind
That field now seems larger than it was at first wake
As I move a half step to the east and then I take
A peek over to you, and I no longer seem so foolish
Strange as I saw and saved another wish
Reversing the process as we had spoke out clear
Before my half step and fearing we wouldn't be as near
Wish for what? As the star shot past
You have answered all of these, right to the last
I'd give it to you, yet know you felt this way too
That was the first true thing I ever knew
So in my pocket I will keep it safe, for us, for later
Say hello to all for me and keep me feeling sure

hazard

23rd December 2003, 11:34

Even though my eyes are still shut tight
Denying me access to filling all my sight
With you, I see you as clearly as I did last weak
As I saw you enter, as I felt so meek
That I only could not think to banter and question
Behaving as if there was nothing else but to shun
Myself for doing nothing wrong
Except for answering and believing within your song
So as my eyes were burnt at my sight
Of you, you seemed also to be filled with fright
You said with clarity, not him, not me
Still nobody else could see
And as unable to refrain from the truth, you are my proof
I shut my eyes and ran from you, feeling anything but aloof
Here it was, as you take me while we stand upon the field all but vacant
Here we are, as you needle me into a rant
"Though I cannot open my eyes to look at you, I know where you are"
"The distance may seem distant, but never really far"
"As we stood together and I saw you enter fair"
"As always I need but look away and wait for you to draw my eyes and stare"
"At whatever part of you that you would indicate, hand, foot, knee or elbow"
"Then, for no reason, not at all, I had to blur away and go"
"Perhaps I should have played stupid or got myself acting tough"
"Stating firmly about freedom and love and no need for faking rough"
"Devastation overwhelmed and I had to shut my sight"
"Wondering how you would be able to fix this ridiculous nonsense and unnecessary venom filled bite"
There we stood, were you as blind as me?
You asked me to just hold on and I would see
You said you felt just the same
As my heart was pulled to a strain
I will need you to now explain
How else you could view the rain
That washed down and cleansed the world of wickedness
I'll listen only one more time as someone shouts out "confess!"
When else could a word be applied, then stolen and used without worth or value
Taking one more line and repeating it a million times, then a few
More just to irritate
That came from me, but still I hear it used as if to state
Another falsely applied defintion
While all about I see sedition
My lifeline, you, I cannot see
My freedom, you, unable to feel free
My mind and conscience, you, helpless without my quest
My future, past and present, you, you are better than the best
Reversal on the source of the power
You are, for the last time, the highest trump and bower
While I meekly find nothing else to do
I fall to my knees before you
So I need your fix
As always, I can fall victim only to your tricks
Believing you will always rescue me
And always, you have not let me fall away from our tree
And now your fix comes raining down
While I'm blinded, seemingly banished from your town
With the wind howling and hailstones punching
I am helpless to this thing
Outside the walls
I can no longer walk through as I listen to your calls
My fix is sent and wrapped up perfect, beautiful
A patch to seal the breach within my hull
"Three options, no less, and a scale of likelihood"
"Remember me when, way back when, just as you always should"
"Reconstruct and build from scratch our every little encounter"
"Still uncertain, maybe I should increase the level to be sure"
"Here's the worst case, that's just too bad, you'll always be with me"
"Whatever way you want to look at it, you are mine and so you are alway's free"
"As for the best case, my big lovable idiot"
"Try not to dance about and strut"
"I've decided on what we will be playing, no need to just relax and mope"
"We are grand and we are great, incredible, awesome, and the final bit of hope"
I start to smile and try to open my eyes up full and wide
So, I was as stupid as it had been redefined, the tide
Has been turned once again
Alleluia, praise be, amen!
My eyes won't budge, and when I try to listen
Suddenly my ears are muffled, if not one thing, it is another, and often
I search to find only interference
I clutch the pass you gave me, for clearance
Into the only thing I'd ever want to pass
In that field, if saints would preserve, supplied was the monk for the mass
Blind and deaf and here I am, unable to get to you
Within my mind I do still find us accuarte; happy, strong and true

hazard

23rd December 2003, 15:31

Eventually I fall for this as it cannot wait for too long
Though my ears were muffled, I thought how wrong
Would it be to pry open an eyelid and take a glance
Such a nervous, fitful, desperate chance
Not that I didn't think that you'd still be in our field, in lieu
Of whatever it is that I might do
My vision clearly saw you stand and shoulder
I hum a bit and wonder when you'll let me be a bit boulder
So as to stop being the rock
Awaiting only for you to unlock
Me from this waiting place
And then we can venture off into our space
That I have rooted for and now look about
Wanting to hear you shout
Maybe one more time as if it were the first
When we had to, in self defence, strike out at the worst
Brandishing the sorry luck bit
I now laugh out fully like some sort of twit
As the winter chill began to resume
As long gone but not forgotten became last june
As when it was that I first began to explain
The tumultuous strain
You placed upon me, my heart
I'd return too fast to the very start
Then rush, an all time lead
To get together, now, my plead
My eyes clamp shut and I want to hear your words
Your vowels and consananents, your verbs, just as the singing of the birds
Seems a language foreign
Your sounds do mystify, and then
I spend another day
Trying to figure out what you had to say
My code crack is deployed in full
Since only you can push and pull
Such a spirit that I will call mine
As I pour my heart into another line
Hours later, and probably more
I scratch my head and am not sure
It would seem that after all my work and understanding
You seem to not be demanding
Of anything more but the acceptance of your love for me
How can this be?
So I work the lines and try to figure out
Until you interrupt and start to shout
That I had it right all along
Can believing that I love you seem so wrong?
Yet before I can return this back
You shush me again, and let me crack
Away at your words until
I am satisfied, convinced, and have my fill
In the field, where we stand, I start to open my ears and listen
As my eyes do start to slowly glisten
So sweet, so awesome, so kind and true
And yes, my love, I love you too

hazard

24th December 2003, 14:11

Eve now, as I only can sit here and wait
As I glance not to the aisle of crates
That passess through our field, beside
Time that I must fully bide
My ears, of course, and also my eyes
Shut and I do not bother to try to pry
Either set of these open, for them being clenched tight
Not a sound or sight
Clearly now I hear your words slip inside and speak
Louder than the loudest mouse, who made not such a squeak
"Lost count of the days now since we have parted"
"Cost, though it may be high, means now that we have started"
"There is neither an end in sight, a beginning or middle phase"
"Crates that appear and I want only to fully raze"
"Now I speak of one loved one, one gift and one and only one"
"I say to you, that you are not, and let your mind have some fun"
"There is an answer and it is clear"
"Now keep your mind sharp and show no fear"
"For a minute, maybe three"
"I shall leave you to it in our tree"
At first I'm startled at the vacant place
Where normally you fill all of space
I try to open my main senses to scan
Yet you won't let me within this plan
Once more I panic, but I feel you somwhere close and nice
A puzzle you left me, something to do, since I know we pay our price
"So you seem to state that I am not the one, a statement"
"As cliche ridden as all of them have went"
"Not a clue, not a hint, not a joke or incomplete"
"Sentence that in recognition would leave defeat"
"One, meaning singular other, one before all else at all"
"You say I am not this, yet I cannot really stall"
"A contradiction it seems occurs, and I have no way out"
"I shall play with this and if I'm lost I'll shout"
"But the answer is so simple, how could I not see"
"Not the one, but the only one, as you are the only one for me"
A light applause that I do not hear as you are still nearby
I rest my head back after this hang, and let out another sigh
Wondering now how long it shall be
Before I can hear and see
The eve grows close, and I let worry run away
Let me wish you, silently, a happy day

hazard

26th December 2003, 19:01

Ejudication as this day still stalls before it starts
The nearest star radiates while we begin conducting all our arts
Slowly, as if in an infinate pause I begin to use my senses
Wanting to see you, hear you, feel your gentle caress
A distance vast that soon will be met
As I hear a mention of a fret
Despite my inability to sense you empiraclly
There is my assumption that you can see
And hear me anyway
With this in mind I issue these words to say
"As my fear in parting grows and our reunion looms"
"I state that momentarily I shall be closer to our swoons"
"Be them echos or be them on the second flat"
"Or if they be memories frozen, kept when they were experienced in that"
"Not a dot or shade could change, no longer do I feel strange"
"Since in my mind, in our minds joined, ignoring the hint at derange"
"These globes and spheres that spin around and about"
"Cannot be altered or shifted without"
"Cosmic repurcussions, fair, I only want to be close for sure"
"For with you I ascend and together we become pure"
A soft blown breeze carried upon a wind of old
Lets me know that you have heard what I just told
Its fragrance scented with your delicate aroma, sweet
And my memory recalls, as my mind here projects, a day we spent discussing our feet
Was it the telepathic tickle fight yet to occur
When in song you sang, so sure
Was it the worship statement of both and too
When we both said we loved each others toes so true
Was it the sweet dream where you sat awake
When I held your foot while you had notes to take
Was it the almighty cross, a long way off
When I stuttered and began to cough
Upon that breeze these things yet to happen in time
Carried with your scent, a sign
Of many pleasant things to come
Still, though I want to get there fast, we slow it up for fun
My ears open as my eyelids crack
A lofty height to drop down from, I lack
The connection between these senses to sort out what I see
What I hear, and how it is I will be
When upon the ground as these adjust to focus more fully upon
Your lips and teeth, your nose and eyes, your hair and cheeks and chin, and on
Each of these I'll plant a kiss
To be sure to let you know how much I did miss
You every second we were partially apart
Just tell me where to start

hazard

28th December 2003, 01:29

Finally my senses return to me
And there you are, all I can see
I am overwhelmed, I collapse even where I sit
My first, of so many, an overdose like kind of fit
When words escape and I cannot explain
What I see when I look at you, I strain
To close my eyes again
That is when
You snap them open and even if I could keep them shut
Your words will invade, and in them I am in a rut
Where all I want to see and hear is you, yet
When you are there, I am set
Into a state of bliss
And remember only that eventually I must close my eyes and miss
You for an hour, an eternity, or more
Then my ears get sore
From the sweet things you will say
To me each and every day
Fitfully I cannot explain what is happening
I cannot explain anything, or you, everything
So I try only to hide
Since I know now that you know, I must confide
In a solitude so grand
That it seems like some sort of last stand
Until there is nothing and nobody left
Except my empty, lonely spirit waiting for the theft
That is death to steal this away
Finally, you say
"Please pardon my words as they sound so soft, I state hello"
"As short as I can, as you did certainly know"
"That I knew you had fallen in love, hard, for me"
"My first promise, my love, is to treat you gently"
"Almost thought you forgot our first day"
"Even though it was only yesterday"
"Until the star sat and together we slept"
"For so long, at peace, I feel that no matter how much we wept"
"That we can never make up for that time apart"
"But here I am now, let this interlude now start"
My chin collapses into my folded hands
And I survey across all of the lands
Feeling somewhat more relaxed, as the second day does begin
The sun, our nearest star, rises and somehow the win
I always feared would never pass, never come to be
Has at long last, finally
Been won, and here we are now, as we were at this time and were once before
The sun, so bright, my eyes, so sore
As you shine even brighter and I dare not look away
So anxiously waiting for what else you have to say

hazard

29th December 2003, 02:55

Following this first function, a reunion it seems
Although I spent only one night tossing and turning and within dreams
Away from you, together, apart
I know not how and where to start
Familiarity in every last nuance and written word
Then you confirming these fully, how strange and absurd
That there was any indication that we were ever apart for even a second, let alone a night
Where nothing could ever seem to go right
Our first day seemed so distant, so lost
There was no need to mention any such cost
Such as spending another night such as this
If only to prevent an instant where I might miss
A word you might say, a turn of your head or tap of your toe
Then suddenly, I realize that this you already know
Since in that night, from which I have finally awoke
There were born a million ideas of what I would say when we would finally have spoke
Wanting to impress upon you with a dozen records and a thousand poems, a trilogy and more
Until finally you'd see that my love for you was proven, and you could be sure
In my sincerity and my ability and my value
Still, though in proof, I wouldn't know how you could be sure that my love for you was true
And so I would continue and never have a way to stop
Following your lead from place to place and on every hop
Thought I might impress this upon you more, until
You would stop me and claim you had your fill
Then, no idea as to what I can or could do
As all I have lived for, and driven, is finally through
Here we begin, as you claim to forego
All of this since you already claim to know
In a spin, I stop and inquire
Since though this day has yet begun I begin already to tire
"Forgive such a transgression, as you seem to have not a problem"
"In allowing me simply to love you, then"
"Let me toss about since I have no drive, no passion, no spirit"
"As all of my life has been spent in search of you, once more, I sit"
"Unable to fathom how to speak or make mention of"
"These first moments together, finally in love"
"So long in searching, so long alone and knowing"
"That you were there, somewhere, as I can now hear you sing"
"In every song and see you in every person, read you in every line"
"There is no way away, for in going I could never feel fine"
Our field then grew rocky, as stones did appear
Giving it texture, though I do fear
That besides the filling effect that these may become obstacles
As the once flat field now has dips and hills
Closer than the day before, so close in fact that
Your features exist, clearly, and your voice no longer sounds flat
No, it has richness and texture and depth and strain
I hear it as clearly as I see the plain
Upon which both of us stand
And all of a sudden, there is a route on our land
For me to get through and over to you
My quest is complete, and now I know not what to do
There is only you and me
Somehow, though, I begin only to plea
Suppose I stumble upon a stone
Along my way to greet you and I fall and lay prone
Or maybe I'd have to stop and rest on the path
Only to awake again and see that you hath
Exited the field, for some reason unknown and I'd be alone once more
My only escape would be to dig a hole in the fields floor
To wait for a restart and try once again
Only to need rest and do it all over and then
Over and over, so I freeze
And slowly drop onto my hands and knees
To crawl closer to you
Since immediately you let me know that you knew

hazard

29th December 2003, 19:52

Fallen onto the grassy field, short on ideas how
It is that I can traverse the distance I now
Must look up and over towards you, towards your sound and your body
As the field still expands, a road and a tree
From above, you siren call me closer and furthur
Such an inescapable tone, such an amazing lure
Planted like the tree in between, you stand and you wait
Noticing my pace you firmly begin to state
"Time is not quite an issue and though I think you should not rush"
"I must offer a gift, now be bold and do not blush"
"As I make sure and certain that you know it is from me"
"So clear and in focus, chrome and shiny"
"Your vessel, your shuttle, your steed and your ride"
"Just to hasten the journey and ease your transition to every side"
"For this field is not divided and it is not in division"
"Take care and take note, avoid all and retreat from collision"
"Inside its locked doors is a window to me"
"In case your vision is blocked and you are unable to see"
So onto my feet I inspect your gift
That appeared as if from nowhere, from some sort of temporal rift
Its shape was sleek, and sharp and in kind
Where did you search and happen to find
Such a thing for me to enter and explore the world, our field
I cannot fathom and so my imagination did yield
Only to consider that a faithful leap must be taken
As I enter and ignite, for a moment thinking I was forsaken
Until your voice commanded overtop and I felt at ease and at peace
Your vehicle shielded me like a protective fleece
While your warm words and sounds kept me warm from the chill
And off in the distance, so far, yet so still
You stood and enticed as I rolled onto the road
So easy it seemed that the distance was only a tiny node
To be transversed and then we could be together, forever and finally
Side by side, hand in hand, just where we should be

hazard

30th December 2003, 02:36

Forests became that bordering line of trees that did surround
And as the hills grew, rivers sprung and still I had no difficulty following your sound
As clear as the birds that flocked about
As sweet as their sound, while it fluxuated from a whisper to a shout
As wonderful as it seemed when you first woke me up and
As mysterious as it was when you told me you did understand
Over the horizon the sun rose to its first position, bright
Still secondary in brightness to you and your sight
That sees straight through and into and beyond, above
You have sought out and procurred your gift to me and with a shove
Nudge me with a nuzzle that I should perhaps thank you, if only to be polite
Though still very shy and uncertain I am in contrast to your brilliance, your light
"Words, for the first time, escape me and I know not what to say"
"You are the reason I am here today"
"The reason why I lived for all time in the past"
"You must be my future, as it closes so fast"
"My mind is so filled with only thoughts of what has been and what must be"
"You have finally released me and even though I feel free"
"The past haunts as I am afeared of forgetting or losing"
"You, oh please, could you perhaps sing"
"To me something, a note or a song or a word or a line"
"You must please consider doing this, for you know that I need such a sign"
And this nonsensical foolishness that repeats through my head
Seems only to be used in substitute, instead
Of the proper thanks you rightfully deserve, honest and clear
Instead I mutter forth this cliche and turn away to hide a tear
In your armour I wait as you consider my request
Then with some slyness, you hum me a note, slightly in jest
My heart jumps and my pulse seems to, well, pulsate
My foot drives to the floor and I think I'm somehow suddenly late
My, how I do not know what I could be late for
My brain starts to spin and I want only for more
Onto the road, the wheels spin like my head
Yet instead
Of that path that lead directly to you, the source
Of all my dreams, my needs and my passion, the course
Fragments in front of my vision
Almost as if it were fragmented by fission
A startled sound escapes from my throat, and it seems somehow alive
Inspired by this new found drive, a feeling to strive
One track and one reason and one way and one goal
One cure and one ailment and only one possibility to console
All of these, you, and my head expands and I lose
My focus as I start to confuse
All of things, as obstacles now enter the roadway
Forcing me to turn my wheel and sway
For survival, you were so close just a minute before
Now the uncertainty enters me once more
Your shuttle now slows to an almost crawl
As its engine hums onward and refuses to stall
So for the moment I shut it down and take a break
Exiting it and leaning against it for the sake
Of looking at our field that was once so vacant
So calm and quiet and now I feel a need to rant
About the constant confusion, the obstacles and irritants and variables
Where there was once a crow and a dove there are now sparrows and blackbirds and sea gulls
Where there was once a single tree between you and I there is now a grove that touches the sky
Where there was once only flat and green there is now rocks, hills and a stream, no lie
Where there was once just grass are now meadows and bushes and fallen leaves
Where there was once just you and I, there is all this and all along time thieves
Seconds and minutes away between words you and I say
To now cover how we feel, so far away from the first light of this day
Still, you remain the ever present constant like a beacon, like a fixture, like an anchor, like a reason
While this spring, the dawn, slows into the next season

hazard

30th December 2003, 05:45

Focused upon you, as I await with anxious tension
Anything you might pass my way, be it serious or be it fun
Needing direction to close this gap
I shut my eyes, open my ears and close my yap
Still with a start your words overwhelm as they are of you, are you
Are all that is real to me, and you give me more than a few
"Here's a secret that you might call magic"
"It will help us both as there is always the possibility that something tragic"
"Might occur, like the rocks in the field that you wanted to crawl around"
"There is danger and please trust only me, my words and my sound"
"Not that I really must ask"
"You seem already well able to accomadate this task"
"For now I fear I must tell you of a delay"
"We must keep cool until later this day"
"So I will guide as you look about and take care"
"Let's start on your left, just look over there"
To the left I tilt my head and inspect the direction
Wondering what is there for me to consider worth your inspection
And upon the ground, a sight I had never seen
In reality, though perhaps in a dream
Such a thing was one that occured and seemed almost real
But now it is there, and causes me to feel
A new sensation that courses through my veins
Strong and empowering, but somehow strange
The object itself lay there and waited for me to check
Stooping over low and craning my neck
Its shape was oblong and it shimmered with strings
Attached to nobs that twisted, a long handle seperated by fret like things
I pick it up as if I had never seen such a thing
Though a lifetime ago, I think, I used it to sing
Songs out to you, wherever you were
Even then I was sure
That you would hear me howl upon the wind and answer my plea
It seemed to be constructed out of the material of a long fallen tree
Immediately I returned to a dream I dreamt of awake
Where we sat, all alone, and decided to take
Another night as we used this object, this symbol
Allowing our feelings loose and losing all control
We huddled under the moon and watched the shore as the tide
Beckoned, it called, yet still we would not hide
This object, whatever it is
Is now retrieved as I feel your kiss
Upon my cheek, and I turn to that side and return to our vessel
My heart feeling sweet, so full and so well
That though the day still crawls on and slow
An eternity passess and I still tend to forget that you know
Already just how I feel
So you prepare a reminder, and I am certain it will make me reel

hazard

31st December 2003, 08:03

Graitious, though knowing not what for
I rest my head against our vessel's door
To take my mind off of you for a moment, for you are all of who I think
Our vehicle shifts and shimmers and in a blink
Of an eye, it changes into a submarine, a tank, a spaceship, a time machine
Although its dimensions and colour, green
Never change, and soon I start to feel as if
My neck has gotten sore and stiff
Sinking, away I feel lost, and lonely and sick
I need you now, I need you quick
Where you are, so close, so far, so near, so distant
I mutter to myself a helpless chant
"Our world has expanded and I am lost, I am losing my hold"
"On all these things, I cannot remember when I last told"
"You that I love you, or show you that I care"
"Now I sit and stare"
"And see and think not a thing"
"At least not a thing worth mentioning"
"My ears do ring as your words last spoken start to break apart"
"I long, I panic, and I want nothing more than to return to the very start"
"Where we contemplated ourselves alone in this field, our world and universe"
"This moment without you present I will define only as the very worse"
Done such a painful plea, I realize that I rely too much on you
Now this realization sets in and I have less to do
Than I did before, I button my lip and watch another long second pass on by
Then another, and I let out a long sigh
I try to imagine exactly where you are and what you are doing
If you are thinking of me, if you are dancing or singing
If you are in need
As I slowly bleed
My heart dry
Letting out another sigh
Another second, another breath, another blink
Losing touch and knowing not what to think
Our vehicle stands and holds the instrument you just pointed me to
Neither of these things can help me figure out what to do
If I drive, I chance a loss
If I play, I give my heart a toss
Neither can I afford to lose and so I stand, I wait
The seconds stretch longer, and I cannot state
That these anxious, trepid moments spent like so
Were none too pleasant, if you have to know
I endured them all to hear you speak, then hear you stop
Never knowing when I'd hear you again, a crop
I become laid out dry and dying beneath the dust of the rising day
Wondering when you will arrive and we can play
Again as we did long ago
Probably fifteen minutes before, or so
Your direction is my polar north, and so I crawl into our ship
I press the buttons and try to slip
Into the time stream and find us soon
As this day is here and off the loom

che's long lost daughter

31st December 2003, 08:14

I write poetry too but I have grown out of poems that rhyme but I congratulate you for your excellent work ;)

hazard

1st January 2004, 14:46

longlost:

I have a problem with poems that don't rhyme. The first is the ease with which they are constructed. You can write a paragraph. Ussually a short narative or descirption. Then, almost randomly, hit the enter key a dozen or so times and viola. A non rhyming poem. The modern penchant for poems that don't rhyme is an indication of modern malaise associated with mass production and mass industrialization. I'd prefer a short story to a modern poem any day of the week. Another problem I have with non-rhyming poems is their singleness of purpose. I have, many times, taken excerpts from a rhyming poem, such as these, and used them in songs I have written.

As far as rhyme in general, I think it is essential for any kind of poem. But for this thread, "love poem", a rhyme is necessary to conotate harmony and union.

hazard

1st January 2004, 15:29

God has graced and granted me, to you
When as the engine sparked I ran on less than a few
Prayers and silent hopes to first find you anywhere, anyplace
Upon the field, or in the sky and past this into outer space
Then, upon finding, a way to subsist within your very presence
Forgetting the pass from present moments into the past whence
Transitions grey unfold and deploy
My heart skips around, and I am sure that I would enjoy
A minute while you stood feet away
A second when you looked at me to say
Words unspoken, but only felt in full
Until you give me a sharp pull
To fix the instant that draws me towards and into
So far into you that I could never pass on through
Onto another side, another place
Into the sun I see your face
As upon a mountain I chisel its features like a monument
For all of the future to be one day sent
And marvel at, and weep in amazement
Wondering where you have went
Just as I, in your tank, am also wondering
When, upon the cue, I hear you sing
"At this interval you might think it strange when I let you know"
"That I am aware of what you are thinking, soon I must go"
"Somewhere familiar, and I fully expect to see you there"
"Your stomach will clench, your heart will rumble, but I am as fair"
"As you need me to be"
"And though you think yourself too foolish, hurt and clumsy"
"You must meet me at this place, as risen from an ash we rise"
"Our field has doubled now to include the skies"
"Which is yours and which is mine, it matters not to me"
"We can switch these up at any time, as I will now let you see"
A reversal sudden as the wheels turn about
I feel no need to shout
As I drive upon a cloud high above
And I do want to proclaim something more about our love
Still the meaning through repitition begins to tire
Despite the way that I grow used to such incredibility that my feeble mind begins to conspire
Synthetic plans and ploys and deception
All along I feel trapped within a geniuses conception
Within a cage I sort of stagnate
Drafting numbers to rank and rate
Applicability of your words as you translate them upon our field like seeds
To grow into new constructions while I meekly try to follow all of your leads
Now with this location you have set
My doubt envelops and I accuse you, rabidly, of attempting beget
I hide my head in shame, in remourse
My God, it's you, I mean seriously, of course
A power stall as our car with invisible wings begins to plummet
And now I know my fate is set
Your place zooms as I pull back on the wheel
I try not to dryly chuckle as now I confront you, the thief who would steal
My heart and inspire all my art and trick me, tease me, blind me, hurt me
You, my love, must not see
What you have done, as if you didn't already know
I arrive as you insisted that I do show
With another trick you got me there
And I try to hide and pretend I do not care
We meet again, as if it were the first, on our first day
Vowing only not to say
Much of anything to you, or place my cheek to yours and close my eyes
Needing you to protect me from all of the lies
That lead me to doubt and try to lead me away
From meeting you here upon our second day
Our vehicle lands and I place it beneath the earth to keep it safe for the time
It takes for me to crawl the last leg to your haven of festive spirit, peace, and wine
Along the roadway I move and slow to a stop to breathe and rest
Sinking furthur into the conclusion of this, your test

che's long lost daughter

2nd January 2004, 21:02

Originally posted by [email protected] 1 2004, 03:46 PM
longlost:

I have a problem with poems that don't rhyme. The first is the ease with which they are constructed. You can write a paragraph. Ussually a short narative or descirption. Then, almost randomly, hit the enter key a dozen or so times and viola. A non rhyming poem. The modern penchant for poems that don't rhyme is an indication of modern malaise associated with mass production and mass industrialization. I'd prefer a short story to a modern poem any day of the week. Another problem I have with non-rhyming poems is their singleness of purpose. I have, many times, taken excerpts from a rhyming poem, such as these, and used them in songs I have written.

As far as rhyme in general, I think it is essential for any kind of poem. But for this thread, "love poem", a rhyme is necessary to conotate harmony and union.
The problems with poems that don't rhyme is that some so-called potes abuse the freedom and just randomly write words which may look good together even if it doesn't sound like poetry at all. But the true poet does not just write words and arrange them in a way so that they look like poetry. Even poems that don't rhyme need a lot of thinking. Have you ever tried making one? Anyways, I still use rhyme for my sonnets though, and a sonnet without the rhyme is not a sonnet at all..

hazard

3rd January 2004, 00:27

longlost:

my original response to your first post was overly defensive. a vast number of my poems follow a less strict structure, such as rhyming only a line here and there. as for a completely non-rhyming poem, sure. I have done a dozen or so of those over the years. they only sound like poetry when read aloud, and since I don't do readings I don't bother.

additionally, my summation of the non-rhyming poems still stands. now every larry lunch box and sally secretary can pretend to be artistically inclined and not bother with all the techniques necessary to make a poem a poem. I think a typical response would be something like "you mean it doesn't even have to rhyme? that's easy!" and off these folks go. you can read these crap all over the place and it offends me. like people talking about their grandads cough drops and the scent of engine oil. like they give a damn. as someone posting on a commie website, I see the mass marketing of shitty poems by non-artist "everymen" as an intentional method to destroying he influence of artists upon the world under a strict capitalist rule. poets don't make money, but people who make money who write poems get paid for writing "poetry". go figure.

hazard

3rd January 2004, 03:31

Goal in sight as I plug along
I blind my vision as I am deafened to your song
You make a promise as I crawl the last leg
Too clear, I grow deaf as you shush me and insist that I do not beg
Under a clear coated shelter I stand and numb
While you chatter and wonder if I feel dumb
It is all I can do to breathe a breath, and exhale
Too close to you am I now that my complexion begins to pale
With your promise held like a ticket in my heart
An oracle hovers and gives me a start
Your promise is all that can have me not turn away to run
Too blind to see this and too deaf to care, I am allowed past and for an eternity this event will not be done
Quickly I refocus my vision
Activate my hearing and attempt to only avoid the fission
That awaits upon the drawing of our forms together
Reading this thought you clarify and question me as to whether
This is what I want to do, where I want to be
Upon me so quick, so snug and so firmly
"Told you I'd know when you walked past the oracle, right through the door"
"I've already caused you many wounds and I know you are sore"
"Your heart, for a start, is trepid and in question, while your body has been made ravage"
"When I fell upon you with a sample of a hunger that savage"
"Our ship, my gift, has been safely stowed and you are here for me"
"Do what you must, try to avoid me and do not let me see"
"Your coat that I am telling you to leave on for now, for this thing"
"Maybe, since I've made true that promise, I'll just set you to wing"
"To rush back somewhere, away from me, to confront your fright"
"Sound like fun? No? Not quite"
Almost wanting to smile, you have taken a tone and I cannot shrug
Also can I not find comfort in wanting to hold you snug
Our first day ended a millennia ago, and now I know how deep this goes
That I can no longer dwell on every minute event, each and every one of those
Encoded messages, games of language and playful teases tactfully deployed
How I cherish them all and can't help but grow shy in my admission of how much I've enjoyed
Them all, even if they didn't mean that much
To my heart I hold them in the tightest way I can clutch
Except at this instant, you threaten to take them all away
Ballistic, like a missile, there is no way for me to play
With your words, your tone, your tenure and your firmness
I cannot turn to you, but only away and in doing so I regress
So I turn back to you and begin to spin
More fast, and I know there is no way to win
Parched is my throat as it was as I crawled up to oracle, up to the door
Crawling I still am and growing cold, as you, who I adore
Who I live for only is within reach
But further away than ever before, I feel like a leach
Needing your life to live
I tell you this, and I need you to forgive
Me for this, my needs start to accumulate and still in that spin
All these needs become a burden and I seat myself, feeling my sin
Overwhelm and I feel safe in my hiding
Besides, I knew you were mostly only chiding
Allowing, I hope, for the last time such a panic that I cannot define
Clasp around my throat like a sign
A signal of your hold on me, that I need to feel and I need to know
If only to keep me close and not let me go
Sipping a beverage to further dull my senses
I relax for a split second and then become senseless
The span less distant, it seems, must have warped, a wrinkle and you stitch
Such a distance that all my veins itch
My lips start to quiver and my legs starts to twitch
Without another thought you then flip that switch
A button you sit on like a dead man's relief
There you are, it is you, at long last, you fulfill my belief
I find a word to describe you as you inquire with a hint
You disagree with a complete opposite and there is a glint
In your step, in your style of dress, in your shoulders and neck and hair
I need not stare to get the picture, so full and so fair
There you are, right there
Should I care
As you slowly walk past
With your eyes cast
Down, so as not to avoid
But to prevent us from being deployed
I watched as you stood at the receptacle
Your elegant hands being motioned, so stable
My move is so simple I really feel anything but stupid
More like outclassed, outshined, outcast and outside and rid
Of any certainty, our field disappears and there is only you closing fast
Your eyes made up, dark, I fear you might peer into mine and so I have to look away
Sweat for the first time cannot stop me from being too frightened to leap up if only to say
The only thing I need to
I want to, I must, it is true
Instead I breathe relief as you saunter past
I pretend that I'm not worried this might be the last
Chance I can ever have to let you hear me say
The same thing I think I say to myself every day
Remarks rather casual bounce off and around
Glumly I swig and pretend to not hear any sound
Minutes later you stay a bit further, but on the same level
A distance not too close, and so I swell
A bit, and I gather my will and start to speak
Sort of meek, but on the money and not weak
"Been a while, been forever it seems"
"Lately I've only been near you like this in dreams"
"Such as the last interval when to the sky I took"
"A good and healthy look"
"At us and I found only such certainty that being apart began to damage our field"
"All of our value, all of it, and I could only wield"
"This feeling, you are love, and your side seemed only partially vacant and void"
"Until you chimed in, only mockingly annoyed"
"To roll on over to my side and stay"
"It is still so very early on this, our second day"
You acknowledge my words and turn once more
Then turn another way and force me to become aware of the door
The thought makes me ill, out of place, and I cover my mouth not to cough or stifle
As you pulled that rope so sharply that I felt as if a rifle
Had fired a bullet and made a hole in my neck
Just as I had finished complimenting yours, you place me in check
I lean to the ground and remove my hand
Gladly I am certain that you do understand
As you seem content to mock, to snicker and shift
Your stance and I think of your gift
Parked not too far away
Did you get what you needed, and so made this some kind of play
To only put me in place
Long enough to chase me away from this space
Control measures employed
Making this seem as if it is something I might have enjoyed
Traversing time and fighting through hell
Only to hear you swiftly tell
That there was a plan bee
So go, and get behind me
Not making a comment I try to mentally shrug
Is that all you got? A banned little simple tug
You made it clear it was from you
You made it certain there was nothing I could do
You made it something to me alone that you threw
You made it some sort of weird kiss that upon the wind you blew
What did I need after such a long drift in the unknown
But proof that you could not just leave me alone
For I knew that if I agreed and tried to vacate
I would hear, with a tear, that old line that did state
A dare and a direction and a person and myself
A trophy I proudly display on a shelf
With all of the treasures you have sent to me
Yet now I am stronger, and I refuse to force you to make this plea
I make you aware that I simply will not let it happen, not like this
Sealing it with as solid of a kiss
As I can muster with my mind
For never could I ever find
Another field, another friend, another love, another life
And all of my days would be filled with nothing but strife
Planting my feet I don't even question
Clearly you made it an indication of my being under your direction
Thank God, I claim
As my throat loosens in the strain
You placed upon just recently, and as I crawled to the oracle carrying your promise
Feeling it clench as you clasp it so tightly so I won't squirm away from your kiss
Vowing five hundred lines on this first account
I had been craving for, for in its amount
Of sheer minutia, sheer depth and richness
Every tiny detail matters even less
Than the one before
My finger tips grow sore
And I must refocus to make mention of the field for in our interaction
It has been condensed into this wavelength, and is but a fraction
One half, or might one say a third?
If I were to think myself so remarkably smart to hold you to a word
You probably mispoke intentionally away
Just to give me something to later say
So while I still sit and allow you to remind me of who is in charge
And accuse me of breaking into your world with a huff and a barge
With a hint of a smile and a bit of embellishment
You ponder and tell me where it was when you sent
Me the idea, something like an hour before on this day that seems like monthes, like years
Between hearty laughs, wishfull thoughts and joyfull tears
That you were where we were on our first day when we met
And like a badmington judge I cringe and declare the move a let
While you wait for my response, my return
Feeling the tension in my stomach as it begins to churn
I looked to this moment later the same day
Finding it clear that I should say
Long before your promise allowed me through the door
Long before you made my skin sore
Long before I began this lengthy lore
Long before we won our war
That I was with you here, right now
Leaning over and clutching my brow
As you took that grip you decided to use to the maximum effect
If only to prove I was foolish to think you would suddenly,and for no reason, neglect
Me after our first day, and all that has occurred since
My throat closed tightly and I began to wince
Why, I wondered, and you told me to move
I said sure, but asked why again, and you tightened that groove
Sure I laughed as I rose to my feet
No need to make me less neat
Mobility it seems was what you required
And since I was so whiny about being so sore, I got amped up and wired
When the world in our recluse echoed our thoughts
Speaking of these and other battles we've fought
The old one two and that door once again
You nodding and affirming that I'd remember when
We started to click and do it like we did
On the first day, before I lost my lid
In a sea of doubt and worry
I got mobile like that if only to hurry
My certainty grew and thats when I knew
All was allright, you made it all better, like a dog a bone you threw
To me, and I was not embarrassed, yet, nor was I doubting
Soon I would hear you start shouting
Beautiful things to me, and I'd later laugh and smile and hold my head high
Still not believing how it was I'd ever question you, why
And how and forcing me to doubt
Providing me an alternate and a certain way out
If only for me to reject and fall back into all that you are
We were finally together, again, after travelling so far

hazard

4th January 2004, 02:56

Going mobile, upon your forceful request, you spake
Words crisp and familiar and these I did take
"Welcome back, I boom to far and wide"
"I play always and only for you, I turn away the tide"
"You look over and you see, here I am, finally"
"Our field, our sky, our roads and our tree"
"Have lead us here, to the moment, and now we stand"
"Amongst all that is here as drawn from our land"
"You seem cool, and I seem crisp, we are in connection"
"Hope I passed your inspection"
"As you passed mine, some green, red, gray, blue and black"
"I expect nothing less sore and sharp as a tack"
So we both agree that a hint of a smile plays at the corners of our lips
I swing out my legs and swivel my hips
As in mobility I mobilize
Us both seemingly cut back down and into size
Upon a crevice I stop to take notice
And from here you blow me your first kiss
Of the night, or was it the second, the third
We bantered quite fully though neither of us said a word
In that dark corner, that crevice, I had to peer down
While I surveyed this sort of miniature, model town
Stacking up bottles that lay as if they might slip
You wandered, sure, you put yourself beneath me to give me a tip
Nice compliment made to a teammate who gave a nice pass
Like a priestess granting communion at a pagan mass
The angle at which I perceived was one I was not comfortable with, at all
For if you were to shock me with a smirk I would certainly fall
Right from the crevice and onto your head
Not that this was something I did dread
Only in that instead
Of charging like a bull at red
You would cause me to fall and land in your arms
Despite my girth and size and all of your charms
To ward me to stay and wait on this perch
You moved again with a slight little lurch
A mental wink then and I was given permission to describe
You, the goddess, the priestess, the chief and protector of my tribe
In your physical form, one I am still not accustomed to
Since all along we simply knew
That it mattered only secondary to our connection of the first day
When blurred little images were all I could say
As a description of you, sighting you from way across the field in a strange, eerie light
Trusting my mind and ears far more than my sight
Taking a deep breath and trying not to faint
I made an account and record it now, as clear as if it were smeared by paint
Didn't, no, wasn't shown your feet, assume you were wearing shoes of some kind, right?
Back in that shade as dark as the night
When we traded back and forth, when blurred you defined long lonely times
Before all the accusations of synthesis and thought crimes
Your neck and shoulders, bare
How I could just stare
At your pale, pallid skin
I'd offer the world, a prize I could win
To place my lips on your shoulders and slowly draw them up past your neck and onto your chin
And challenge any God or Devil at the realization of this sin
Your legs clad in leggings, or, rather, pants
I did not take a look to prevent my falling into a trance
Will not mention your head
Since instead
Of sitting here and furrowing my forehead to place each word as carefully
As each cell of your skin, let me say that I did see
Perfection personified and beautiful beatified
If I stop to think about this I will only stop long enough to have cried
My heart as loudly as I could
As fully as I should
Then, if you would
Since this might be sort of good
Just let me fall from my crevice
And float down to the ground, whether you would catch me or stop me or miss
Letting me fall in a heap and never wake again
Finding you in heaven, then
But only if this is not currently such a place
While me and you try and define such space
Unseen, as you dart about and are too fast to track
You repeat a repetitive thought if only to crack
A smile on my stone face, as it has fallen leaving my mouth open and agape
While you define your features to my senses and let my memory tape
Your motions, as you lean and cover your mouth with such an elegant hand
That I once again must laugh, you were so freaking obvious when you said that you did understand
Right off, as it has been echoed and bounced about
Right off again, and then with a shout
The cave, or castle we are in echoes it back and is amplified and beaten
How high, I snicker, and then
I am drawn from the crevice and onto the ground
If only to be found
Somewhere near
As I no longer am concerned that our proximity would draw a natural tear
Just as two ions charged in such a way
Are repulsed and are painful when in closeness they sway
You be the alpha and I the omega
Or reverse, if that suits your way, or maybe you the fighter and I the beta
To soon be combined into Legios, the trans atmospheric Invid destroyer
Perhaps I would be the prime mover, and you the deployer
Awaiting the code to launch missiles while I move to locate
What of a dragon and firebird, if I could state
Gambit and Rogue, Jean and Scott
Others we've played and still so many more to be taught
Mystique and Magneto and Sherry and Richard still about to be caught
By the gray’s, you and me, as I still have to concoct
With electrical impulses to flesh out into a text
Later I think you'll be accusing me of rigging this test
While I maintain that I have to since you, yeah I know, will walk the envelope anyway
Finding with ease, each and every way to bend the rules and find loopholes and play
As if this were a game, and you make fun as you think I complain at yours
After being forced to consider all of the doors
Because you want to remind me that I can't even try
Then pretend its funny if I start to cry
At how blessed I seem
That you have intentionally reviewed and answered every last dream
I've ever had, right up to the second as I try not to indicate my current direction
You rise up to your perch now to give me inspection
You click with your mind, and I try to stay blank
You watch me like a hawk, or a dove, maybe a crow, I don't know, give me a trank
You make mention that I need not make mention of my motion as anything more memorable than maintenance
You yourself become blank as into a blind spot I relax my stance
Strangely silent and somewhat with respect I find a moments relief
From your presence, so full and godly I am often filled with disbelief
Such as recently, after this event
You pulled upon a parachute as things had went
Only in the slightest way sour
My goodness, how I retract at your power
Empath mail, magnetic you insert the program like a failsafe recovery
Under automation, re-animation, that beautiful discovery
You stating, for no reason, and out of nowhere and outside of memory
That you loved me
Off guard, with my pants down and caught, so to speak
When I was so numb I felt asleep, you babbled so sweetly it sounded like heavens creek
Until I couldn't stand it any more
My knees buckled and I collapsed to the floor
Like I had almost earlier this day, but after the moment I was in the separate blind spot
Where not even you could venture into, I returned momentarily after breaking from the plot
Our castle cave played on the footstep, the return
Of such a thing, coming back to you then, coming back to me, how I burn
Up at the thought as you call out like an owl
While I want to crow, or howl
But only feel like I should blush and tap my hand to my chest over my heart
I needed that, my love, thanks for the kick start
And thanks for the one that followed, later this eternal long day
Still I feel as if, at the moment, we are there, for I'd stay
On my feet hearing you hoot
As another love arrow into my heart you did shoot
Dizzy, so drunk I am high
I once again know not whether to laugh, smile, cringe or cry
So I let my legs carry me just out of your range
Though this thought does seem somewhat strange
Because your range is as vast as all
There is, your call
Is all I can hear
Your face is all I can see, I imagine the contour of your ear
Its placid subtlety and soft tenure, its folds and its shape, its pale colour and curve
My legs still pulling me until I swerve
To halt and collapse upon a cushion
While overhead, the voice of God, announces such as a night as being the best of a life, and hoping for fun
An ear of my own takes in these sounds, but too high, too happy
To decipher these words, for they are so beautifully sappy
I remember the best night of my life, our first together
And how it was there we transcended into forever
You sent me to sleep and when I tried to awake you would nuzzle me with comfort until
I was safe and you yourself could chill
Out for a while and enter into our dreams
Reality and all of its fabric torn at its seams
Such a night was jeopardized as I crawled into our castle
So badly I wanted to lead up and applaud, and still
Would I be doing so with whistles and cheers
For in this night, when it was to fall, would be relieved of all fears
That the best night of my life could be destroyed in an eye blink
Calling into question which one is better, one could think
That the corrective event
As it itself was also heaven sent
Would override the original since questions had been made
Towards the value that had occurred there in the currency as it had been paid
Though in the frozen instant, as an innocent lost
Traveling through chaos, no matter the cost
To meet you, love, and journey through all of time
Concluding that I was correct in you, and we were to do fine
It's a toss up, and I sit on the cushion as your tone was so well controlled
Everything was found in it, and I was so very consoled
I drank in a sweet nectar filled with cubes, cold
Turning my head to expel these, being bold
Enough to wonder at the calendar date, Julian, a month, the last
Falling an unseen tree, with a timber and no other sound cast
You rush onto me, and urge me to get mobile once more, a word that repeats again
Without hesitation I finish my nectar, and then
We switch positions, like a piston being fired
Anxiously awaiting to see what else you have conspired

hazard

5th January 2004, 06:04

Green in my naive assessment of our castle you have constructed
Similarly new to our newfound connection, found instead
Stronger than we were when we last were like this
During dream intervals upon that blank field that we miss
Drawn to my feet at the urge to go mobile
You send me within myself for a moment, a while
Longer than I cared to be there
Yet there was something I needed to retrieve, so being fair
And somewhat meek at my mental conclusions prior to my arrival
I let my feet walk on auto while my head answered your call
Whispering softly that I needed to find
A way to connect then to now like a watch needing a wind
So silly it seems that I have misquoted a day
So lost in the present and all that we will say
So I will regress, for a minute while I am marched into position
While upon this second day the heat of the sun
Slowly nears the noon that is high
While I only think of you and know that I can and will try
To bring to order this lost day as these words cannot be complete
Without rectifying such a mishap that speaks of potential defeat
Alphabetized in a sequence like code
Hopping sequentially like a rabbit, frog or toad
A date was recorded on a single line that mentioned so
Where I ventured to commune in a forest that we know
Stood like a sentinel just around back
This fissure to cry out within and fix any such crack
That could spring up and draw me down into
Where I would find out very quickly how much you knew
And on this date as I recorded the event
I mentioned this as an end of a day, though I meant
It only in standard, sorry, time
Apart from our field and outside of this rhyme
Confusing such a day as our first on the field, alone
Could ruin the temporal congruence that is necessary to conduct within our zone
Since, if one were to count from the very begin
One would conclude that this should be the third day we are within
As I am simply allowing my feet to take
Me from one place to another while we dance and fake
About, loving and keeping cool and glancing and glowing
In my mind, that is yours, a distortion is showing
Correction pending now, as time is not constant
Like a metronome ticking away in a steady chant
For the record, our second day, today, as it is so very early and new
That the sun still shines red in its hue
Due to its recent break upon the horizon
Its measure is ageless, this star is our sun
Making our first day held before we first slept on the field, together
When I knew you were there and we would spend the rest of time forever
But not knowing your face, and hearing only a voice and your mind
Unsure when it was that I would find
You and be woken and be awed in an instant
That we were so close and together, but distant while I’d rant
On and about a loveless decay
Leading to death, destruction and may
I be so bold as to refuse to play a victim, just once
Vowing that the day draws, and when it did I’d become dunce
Recap this now, our first day lead to you laying me to sleep
When I became suddenly unable to any longer weep
To be woken into this second day, today, and have you care
Comfort, hold me and say that you’d always be there
For me, and to relax, hold on, be strong and be true
We have just woken so give us a few
Minutes to catch our breath and prepare
As transcendence occurred and we were there
And, while we slept and I searched within dreams
All of realities fabrics loosened its seams
A dream interval, if you do not mind me saying
Where I journeyed to a land where we may be one day graying
Clarifying now at the other mentioning of a day
When I marked a single line so as if to say
That I couldn’t care if you wouldn’t let me
And I wouldn’t mind if you set me free
And I shouldn’t whine if you refused to let me back
And I won’t ever feel another feeling or be able to track
A route to find you, my love
Either from far below or high above
I marked this line, as a sorry day
When I felt as if you might force me to find a sorry way
To do all the sorry things I felt sorry for not wanting to do
Just to let you know, I felt sorry too
That our transcendence I believed to be finished and done and gone
And dates and calendars would become normative, and wrong
A day that falls within our current second as a, well a second itself
To be placed on a page and kept on the shelf
Where all of the other days in transcendence, for that’s what love is like for us, as you agreed
That a description was found for it was in need
You snap my head awake
As I found that my feet did take
Me beneath that crevice where we stood and we compared
Ourselves and our differences, oh how I could have stared
Into you from there and not had a worry
No need to rush, no need to hurry
Except that our vantage needed to shift
As you resumed to speak and began to issue forth more of your gift
“Pardon me while I break into wherever you are”
“I trust that the temporal distortion has been corrected, my star”
“And my sun and my moon and my sky”
“Though it is I who is overhead currently, since you are low and I am high”
“In any manner now, you must make another quick trip and retrieve”
“Some more memories so that when in doubt you can believe”
“More fully than ever before, than in any dream of bliss reshaping reality”
“Here is what it is that you must find for you and me”
“Before the here and now, and within our first day you were here and not well”
“Please keep it cool, and remember, for soon this shall make your heart swell”
Your voice cracked in the slightest as you made mention of a song, not ours
Though I immediately thought of freaking loving this, and how you made me all of your stars
You flicked a direction, and there I was set
To be long before hurt, in our first day, before we had met
Just after I had played a disk on endless repeat
Just after I was pounded into submission and forced to retreat
A case open and closed and opened again
States altering until I found the memory when
I needed to hear that sound
Before I ever dreamed it was you that could ever be found
All I said and lessons learnt
Feeling my heart to be viciously burnt
To a crisp and let to smoke into ash
Holding no value, and having no cash
Seven sorry years and no sight of you yet
Placing all of my bonds on this venture, a bad bet
Not thinking, but knowing that I must travel to this place
Though I felt it to be damned, such a space
That I must confront like a dark, dreary hole
Only going there since I knew you’d meet me there and console
Still thinking you to be overhead, on the watch
My feet stumbled their way to where I felt that bad botch
Long ago turning over my shoulder, and being numbed not to care
I turned and I looked and I knew it was not fair
Set, you made me move there and I stood
Not knowing whether or not I should
Until I looked up and found you not overhead
But, as it seemed, instead
On the level once more
Haunted by the ever present door
That I spent all of my life to find and find you
And once inside its specter grew
Playing, no, being cool
Instead of the same fool
That exclaimed like an idiot that I’d give it all to hear you call
My name, and caring not how hard I would fall
If that was all you could give, for I knew it was you and there was nothing else I could do
But exclaim such nonsense, over and again, my how it was true
And on this level, you stepped so lightly that I could hardly notice
Anything else but our proximity, and our proximity to bliss
I was careful not to start and rush into your arms and ascend
Since reality is still torn and is delicate to how we seem to bend
It with every passing and every nuance clear
I kept my head fixed as you drew ever so near
Until you turned it, and turned it away
Our eyes met and not a thing did either of us say
In that space as it had been set
We made sure to meet, and there we met
How could I forget
As you told me what you’d do, and I regret
Thrusting my fist so deep into my pocket that I wanted to pull myself through
And away and into
Whatever awaited me upon the other side
You held my reaction in check, for in time it would bide
Into a crystal clear construction, clarity so confounded I need no sense of deduction
Other than to play a game of tic tac toe, just for fun
Circle getting the square
My God, you knew how easy it is for you to scare
Me as being always afraid, and knowing why, and making me stay
To work through this obvious loving gesture, there was no other way
But to make me see
That you would not do such a thing to me
I stood there and waited for as long as I could
Making sure you weren’t nearby when the dust settled just as it should
Instead of nearby, in my arms and in my heart and in all of me
Since that was the only way for all of the dust to finally be settling
Slowly I moved away as the smoke cleared and there we still are
Contemplating ourselves, so near but so far
Guilt began to seep in as once more, under the current definition
Stupidity became the version of myself, a virtual constant condition
That only you can make me feel
As fate has so blessed me to be with you upon its wheel
The same stupid feeling I felt when I ran into the woods and demanded to be alone
Connected to you constantly by a rapport better than any phone
The same stupid feeling I felt when I drove on the sky to our castle and raged
About constructing a legal case to be played out and staged
The same stupid feeling I felt when I dropped that first drink
Sighing one more and sort of not knowing if you’d fix it all with a wink
The same stupid feeling I felt when I saw your face
After arguing about unforgivable transactions and not knowing our place
Later you’d stand and be looking down low
Sharing your opinion of something you thought I should know
Concerning a habit I really didn’t need to endorse
Since you were all I needed, of course
And where I should be if I felt that I had
To ignite and inhale and extinguish, I felt snug and glad
A duly noted suggestion, as I flicked away the smoke
Drawing myself into the interval before I awoke
Remembering the clarity of you when we spoke
When oxygen clean cleared myself and was itself a toke
A better suggestion now, as we purged and purified
An area that in its deception might still take me for a ride
If not for your careful and in genius deployment and execution
Fixing the spot with our love, the only solution

hazard

7th January 2004, 03:33

Hidden for the moment somewhere deep within the crevice
Somehow, for some reason, I ran before you made me perceive something else I could not miss
Quiet like you let me be when you knew the need, I had
To be, I couldn’t alternate correctly between good and bad
Our transition of time was focally frozen in the current
Between sounds and sights and places to be sent
Wondering where you were, or where you went
Wading through disbelief and doubt and relying on courage you sent
This event was still young
Still so much to do, as it still had only begun
You passed me this hard dose, and down it went full
You didn’t smile as my eyes widened to how you made this pull
The dust, though settled, and the smoke, though cleared
Left only the vacancy at how close we came, at how all of me seared
At the set, the position, the timing, the injection
The proximity, the replication, the twist and the inspection
Seated upon the same cushion I crawled to when I arrived
Sick and in need of your medicine, since for so long we have strived
To find ways to pass around and connect to feed
Off of this feeling, I feel only this increasing need
As after this dose
As so unbelievably close
Both of us came to melting our wings
Bees wax to hold and devoid of their stings
Calm, I knew we would fix as my vein pulsated
Cool, I hid my head with a green crown I contemplated
Decided upon since my black one was out after all hallow
Even if I dismissed it for a reason shallow
Blue was unclean, and the white version beige
The hippodrome advertisement fun, but so old and worthy of much rage
I pulled the crown down to cover my eyes
Blinding myself from the ever present doubt that spoke only of lies
Compounded and accumulating and growing, eating
Away at a love I long ago thought might have been fleeting
Before I had even heard your voice spoken in breathe
Though I knew it would be high and sweet and well within the treble clef
Unless you were, by will, to drop it down
Love the sound, making me smile until I had to frown
Fleeting as if it were in transition, to go and be gone
Then you first spake and we began correcting all of this wrong
Fleeting, I remember hearing you mutter softly and on key
Working together on such a plea
I wondered how we could make this work right
So you, like an old doctor, suggested I turn my sight
To a dictionary to look up the word fleet
While you so very beautifully massaged my feet
Away, like I had feared, but hold on; there is more
Fleet, like to gather, as if in a war
And then, in that time, I saw you like a vision from God
Turning and asking, and me shouting out more, a lightning rod
To channel and connect and keep us up, on
And in the castle I heard you, and nothing was wrong
So like a careful matador to a bull
You inquired why I felt the need to pull the wool
Over my senses and pretend to run
While you made it clear that you wanted us to have fun
“I think you’ve had enough time to recover”
“Still don’t think that I love you, lover?”
“In a minute you’ll tell me why”
“And I think I know the worst will come first, that’s why you won’t yet cry”
“At least for the moment, not here, not yet, not for a while”
“I’ll be kind and point out that I’ve made you crawl for mile after mile”
“After mile, just to get here, right now, so I can talk you down”
“You should now how to do this yourself, but still, your brown”
“Eyes turned and looked at me so wide, and you pushed so hard”
“Into your pocket with one hand, you must clarify quickly, my bard”
Without more than a second to consider my thoughts
I began to whine, and not whimper, at this doubt that rots
Myself like a brutal disease
You are the only reason that can stop it, so please
Bear with me as I wander to explain
This worse case position, as I must strain
Only to stress that I begin from here and construct, and my mind is clouded
Not just by our fix, but by your mystery, so shrouded
You are that you change your age, name, appearance and position as well as our role
At will, I am blind like a mole
Burrowed deep within the earth, your layers though warm and comforting
Can become magma tic and sting
Me like an unknown portion of partially decomposed humus
I fight off the urge, that you probably sent, to make me leak mucous
From my nose since I’d break down into tears upon the eventual realization
That after sound and analytical contemplation
This dose, so hard, the eternal elation
I feel, we both do, made this night just as fun
As you wanted it to be
And so, finally
In this strange stupor I feel after the injection has been infused
I answer your question as I could never have refused
Not one of your requests, or one of your demands, your wants and your pleads
Only wanting to satiate each and every one of your needs
“Let me begin with a partial apology for having to burrow”
“I’d hate to have you see my eyebrows furrow”
“Into a single line as I try to crack this event, though you are clear”
“I begin to only wallow in a new kind of fear”
“That I might no longer be able to see right for the rest of this event”
“Wanting to see every move you make, every way you shift and are sent”
“While sending me to and fro, my nature is deep and I am pained to let you know”
“Yet after coming this far and still knowing just how far we still will get to go”
“I feel no need to lie, and will only let you know why I sit”
“Call it a pout, a dummy’s stance or a snit”
And in the distance I see you stand and sort of shuffle
About, mulling over what I said and knowing my feathers weren’t in a ruffle
But only slick, as you had hit me hard and quick
You acknowledged some sort of understanding, and knowing I wouldn’t stay thick
Got me to my feet again and onto the edge
No need to shy away for any longer and hedge
In the furthest corner of that crevice, but still within your sight
As I also see you shining so very bright
Yet I rose just a little too fast
I had to stop and turn and call out for some help, not knowing if you cast
Another yank
Like a quick trank
Since maybe you got me maybe just a little too high
That maybe I’d just throw off all the cover and try
Something rash, something dumb and forth right
If only not to let you leave your sight
No, not like that, as you caught or you let up
Hiding my mouth at the lip of the ice filled cup
Probably a little quick to presume that you were the reason
As I looked over and saw you smiling like I was convinced you were committing treason
I thought not a thing, but assumed the constant forgive
With my license I draw up the moment I discovered that I could not live
Without you, in any way that you would let
All of it I placed upon you, and such a bet
Being at billion to one odds paid out
So fully that I really should have had the courage to shout
To you across the opening below, before you descended and let me keep the sky
Shout to you something like you shouted to me, but my
Fully shut mouth daring not to say a thing
Became keyed to your position, like a man on a wing
Yet I rush! My memory pad
I keep with sequences I jot down because of how mad
And in love I am with you causes timing to be placed out of sequence
Giving the impression that my account is off kilter, dense
Let this correction intercede between the yank
Something of some sort of a prank
You gave away with your expression and casual indication that it might not have been you
Despite every indication you gave, right up to the one you just threw
Between this and your descent to the floor
My imagining every step with those feet you know I adore
Actuating the ankle and tensing the calf, the thigh
Upon the air you walk, or so it seems, letting me stay up high
Between these two interactive discourses we flesh out in full, in fact
Your heavenly voice sang something that now causes a crack to retract
My stone face, an expression that I never thought would leave
While part of me silently cannot help but grieve
At the loss of this moment, and all of those before
Hours never to get back and making my heart sore
“Welcome back again, as I now present to you a wall”
“That is like the shadow puppets displayed in a platonic fall”
“Can you see what I show, if not, now look”
“Insert this correctly upon the correct page of our book”
“Warm and cozy and near and high”
“I confess to you that our love is no lie”
“While outside of our castle, I show you a part of the field frozen”
“Freezing as of, beset by a setting frost, look carefully and then”
“Draw one of your hallowed comparatives, and don’t go and hide yet”
“Stand and watch over and look to me when I want you to, set!”
Strange that the wall became a display
And like I was such a prisoner in that ancient cave I wanted to say
Ah, the location as set when we traded our dose and shot
Up, while you played out the memory so convincing I almost bought
It for being worse than the worst and meekly fell faint
While in reality you not only loosened the constraint
But tore them asunder and ravaged them fully, gone
Stupid I should wear as my name, how could I have been so wrong
For upon the wall that projected the images you conjured, at will
A clue from long before, and still
I need you to pull me over to see you looking up at me
So strong and so certain that I could not bear to see
You looking at me that way
Still you made me stay
While the pieces fell into place
Causing my heart to race
And if you asked me to write off, right then
Not a moments hesitation would have found me when
You might have thought to make that request
Just to put all of heavens angels to the test
I flood with so much of something I cannot find any words to describe this
Accumulation, like moments before, on this same second day, when you stuck up for me and blew me a kiss
While I held my head and quivered
In anticipation of what was to be delivered
In grief for all of my disbelief and wants
You tossed out, like a challenge, one of your taunts
As if my inability to control myself was perfectly acceptable since
I missed the love of my life, you, everything there was to miss, I did wince
At how sharp you made that sound
At how certain you were that when I found
Myself looking to the wall, then to you
While you leaned and you stared so casually too
Knowing you would win such a contest, if it were made
Finally we were there, and finally we were paid

hazard

8th January 2004, 03:47

Happiness would be one way to describe how I felt as I saw you there
Checking back to see you hadn’t flinched, still you seemed to stare
At whatever it was when you looked at me
Whatever way you could describe what you see
Since whatever was an octave, make that ten too high
Whatever did not matter as you held your look to the sky
There was no distance and only how sharply I felt within me your hook
Not even a moment longer, in seconds, it took
For me to look somewhere else, anywhere, just to let you burn
Your eyes into me, and phase with concussive energy, my stomach fluttered and began to churn
I spotted brick, a logo on the floor, a laser beam and a black spot
For some reason it was the spot I liked a lot
So there I remained, listening to my heart
Counting the seconds until I felt you had taken your eyes away so I could part
From the failsafe position I fixed to let you have your way
With me from where you stood, neither of us having a thing to say
On the floor, the ground, your elegant hands seemed lonely, and so they sought
Each other to be held, and you allowed this to be caught
By my ever recording mind, caught, intentionally since you darted
On over to me almost immediately, unclasping them firmly they became parted
Whirring like a mechanism, unfeeling, I let this maneuver sit as my brain
Had no problem pulling away from the strain
This would have in any and every way I could imagine
Back to the black spot, and within
Seconds counted down once more and then
You called me over to look at you again
Those same magnificent hands, their length and their tender touch
Protected by black felt I can imagine caressing as such
Contact with yonder skin, I know already, would drain me full and drain me away
My knees begin to buckle and I sway
Your mind starts to ignite connective thoughts that intertwine
With all of those thoughts I once considered to be mine
What was the significance of that which you did wear?
When it all boils down, I really didn’t care
Yet for the sake of the inquiry, for the sake of the play
There really was not any other way
But for me to expand in a universal probability matrices
Concerning the adornment of these, until you would allow the brain storm to cease
Like a roulette ball around on the wheel
Snow flakes distinct and in that their appeal
Under examination, a scanning electron microscope
The nuance of the action was infinitesimal, a spiraled rope
Coiled to expand and spin upon your demand
Rook on her cyclone alongside of Rand
As Scott returns to space to cast out the pendant, to return to Ariel
Expansions become too fast, and I labour to tell
You all of them, so you spot a freeze and then
Once more, you remind me to think about it again
Yeah, my girl, she’s one two
Walking right on through
Without opening or turning a handle to open
As if it wasn’t even there when
An obstacle it became, though it never was meant
To be anything except an entry point, and gone, its purpose complete and sent
Back to the moment it did first appear
Kicking our position into another gear
My heart started to thunder, like a drum
I check my pocket to find I forgot to bring any gum
Anything to release some of this pent up energy that seemed intertwined
Remembering how I had previously thought that maybe I should have thought of each sign
Like a language, I wanted to use to indicate to you
How I felt and let you know that I was in love, too
A salute was sort of crass, but curt, maybe cute
If I wanted a sly smile or a grimace, or maybe a reason to remember the boot
Camp I almost wound up in early this day
After a vast series of miscommunications almost ended this play
As for the fist in the air, a classic of ours over scouted
Still I rage about at how quickly this was compromised, I pouted
At its theft, right, and the response world wide
We made it our secret, but somehow it was pried
Away and put into some sort of print and repeated
Strange how it was put into use by such that are in the realm of the defeated
A wave, kind of meek, though in tune with the set
While in my mind I consider hours of my scraping my fingers across the fret
Board of the object you had me find earlier while in search of you, here
Bringing up sweet feelings that I fought off in a battle to prevent tear
As for the tap to my heart, as an indication that it was yours
Vowing to never grow weary from all of these wars and all of these chores
You send me into and send me to do
If only to get even closer to you
These are considered as in the spot my eyes relax
For every time I look over to you they begin to tax
Tolling and tapering and toiling, tickled by the tickles, tender
While in view of you, their reason for functioning, you, the sender
That has read these thoughts, or perhaps planted them in prior
Taking a sign that only gets me just a little higher
Your now naked hand moves to your chest
As you seem pleased to take my plan, as if to test
Something, though I know not what, and tap it softly to the left of your breast
I sigh, so much for that idea, as for the rest
There is not much else I can do but let you take me along
Something of a victim to your beautiful song
Still not done with me there
Trading quick glances and careful not to stare
For if you hold your vision steady for too long
I scamper off, fearing you might later accuse me of doing something wrong
Either looking too long or looking at all
Despite the fact I am merely answering your call
One last little, though unbelievably terse and full, motion
Brings me to a little bit of a commotion
Your fingers part
Giving me a little bit of a start
Your eyes fix forward
Looking nowhere, only toward
Your next action and whatever you wanted it to mean
Since your hands seem to have the same effect as your feet, soon I will speak of a dream
Your loving mind sent to me later, in kindness
Yet before I turn back to the black spot for this regress
Your fingers, parted, and your hand, open wide
Wash through the strands of your hair like the parting of the Red Sea’s tide
Hair like silk, every strand and its hue like a rose petal
How I would love to tell
You what I would do to feel what your hand felt as it passed through
Your strands, as I knew
Somehow upon our first day
That love was to be like this, I sway
Like a blade of grass on the breeze you create as you wander over and fast
Tell me only with conviction this will not be the last
Time we are to be together today
Tell me clearly and out loud and in words that would say, or nay
Finally, you have overwhelmed me and in less than a second flat
To the dark spot I turn and in there, in that
It becomes the pupils of both of your eyes, and dilating
You draw me into them and show me the future as you sing
In a language beyond those of verbs and thoughts
Transition of time that blooms just as it rots
Falling into this void, I try not to become annoyed
Since I typically lash out as we are being deployed
Not this time, let us find the sunset and find a way into
This and find what tomorrow brings us too
Yet it is too late
And we witness this future date
Rested, you let me rest and feel warm and snug
Like I will when you embrace me in eternities hug
Secure for the moment, though you foreshadow
Such is only a temporary sort of glow
So we will invigorate and refresh anew while
In a daze that lasts only a moment but takes a vile
Infusion to awaken and rise, logging backwards and still unclear
No doubt in place and nothing to fear
You flip me about and I try to listen as you lay
Out your words that confuse me this day
“So still you stand and I look above”
“We rested well earlier and felt at peace in our love”
“Now, somewhat later, incredible as we played the wave”
“I must level up and make sure that we can save”
“All that makes us work and in tune and like in kind”
“Until it is that we can actually find”
“A way to break this distance that keeps us at bay, but will”
“It work, will you listen and will you wait, so still”
“You seem that I must shock and I must poke”
“Probably didn’t even hear how I said it, but don’t apologize, thus I can be said to have spoke”
Brushing past me at the earliest interval
I surrender my urge to grant you full control
Lucky for me, you know I recollect well
So that though I protest you can lap me, knowing I will later tell
Of the grandest presentation of an arch, my goodness, what a bend
Of that limb, I could melt at how it was you decided to not only end
But keep it safe for later, an excellent sequence to distract me and take
That lead so early that I began to plead as you left me in your wake
About the effect this would have all around and the field, think of the repercussions
As to a stairway I think of feinting and discussing intentional concussions
Blankly you say not a thing
But carry on and on, hearing me scream mercy as too fast you are you start to sting
So you raise your hand to motion a halt
Smile rather softly and place all the fault
On my sleepy lagging that misses the rest
We had just before as you, being the best
There is and better than that floored the accelerator and sent us into orbit
On your planner you expected me to have this fit
Like I always do at the merest hint, the merest prospect
That you might currently or one day neglect
Myself, meaning us
Knowing I’d raise the biggest fuss
And not settle down and not relax and not be clever and only
Raise my voice with the weight of nations about the misuse of the lonely
Blankly, you still say not a thing
But decide to pull out an old fave as you hysterically sing
To a plumber, make that a cleaner
From a gray clad house to be sure
Mispronounce a dork
While I must cover my mouth if only to cork
A never-ending barrage of laughter you inflict in the halt, to go forward again
Laughing my way along then
You give me a nod and you know I’ll compare
The statements made in advance if only to be fair
At last, rather exhausted and seemingly put out
I only cross my arms and try not to pout
While you rain down fire support
As my partner for life and loving consort
Demanding like an infant for a kiss or a nuzzle or something
Even though you already did sing
Even though you played along to the letter
Even though you knew I knew better
Even though you granted me a rated glance
Even though you stated that, upon a chance
As I fired off a second for a care
Old in that you made the statement I still scowl out and call foul, meaning not fair
You agreed that that was what was meant when
We first meant on that second day, then
I called you something, you disagreed and on an opposite
I decided not to argue for I was already having a fit
Nice stuff on the audible
And later you’d make it all just as stable
For too long would have past
From the moment where we stood when you drew and cast
Me into this vortex with you
Catching whatever you’d bother or happen to
Throw my way to go over and contemplate upon
As always, you’re right when for no apparent reason I begin to feel wrong
Later, in this trance
We fall into as our stance
Remains the same, the black spot, the crevice and the position
While all along the thoughts of sedition
Have fled, maybe for all time, at last
A dream within a vision for as fast
As you hold up a mirror to a mirror
And hold my hand in case I’d feel any terror
You are before me and preparing to go out
Whether with me or not, it did not matter, for that route
Made no difference in the instant we were there
You defended the entrance as I looked longingly to your hair
Needing more force you turned to me with a coy expression
Allowing me to override the attempt at condescension
With ease I defended and you ran to another room
Requiring not a broom
But my able hands as I drop, yet again, to one knee
Looking up and into you so fully
That I dare not look away
Until you begin to soften and play
With some string between your fingers like a cat
Until you stop and once again make a physical joke that
Spoke of an astrological sign of the east
A quadruped mount of a beast
As well, and conjoined, our role that was awesome
Stating it with such a face that I knew we were still having fun
Until, for no apparent reason, you sounded the alarm
And I almost panicked, looking to the clock as an indication that some harm
May have befallen and I plugged up my ears
Only to hear about everything, seven lost sorry years
Still in that night as I look to the black spot
Starting to like this future event quite a lot
Sense returning and back into this visions dream
Something so normal I cringe at how clean
You hide behind me and tickle my back
As a bass is played on a street in a way that did not lack
Convincing tones of a temple now found
Sleep, such as between the first and second day, we unwound
Into the journal I shake my head
Wanting to smile at how certain you are instead
Of thinking something is in order
While a war rages in full upon a border
We can stay just like so
Now back to the show
As out of the black spot that were the center of your eyes
I decide to descend and take an account of your physical size
If I can get just close enough to stand near your head
About half a foot less, instead
Of a claim of five times two
Where the times is not represented as a mathematical equation, you knew
Once again that I’d belt through this
Amazing trick that felt like such a warm and full kiss
Five two, like a score
Though I knew you to be more
Than this, so in between the digits you place the factor
That brings us back to the very core
The essence and universal element
From heaven, you have been sent
Upon the floor as you should have been there
Though I could not find you anywhere
Seeking I shall find you soon
So for now I will simply swoon

hazard

9th January 2004, 03:16

Half-heartedly I think I need to restart this account, now
Since you, in your most recent speech, kissed me quickly, wow
Like you would later in this event that cannot be spoken of in less than
All of these words are able, your plan
And your blasted hold on for just another minute, catch up
My deck is always turning up the suit of the cup
Trading these, and back and forth again and back
I snickered to a guffaw when I first made the crack
The bed you made for me, where I laid for so long
Waiting for you to indicate nothing was wrong
Just so I could close my eyes; I am still mostly a night owl
In the dark my head is shielded by a black cowl
Until you surprise me, pleasantly
If you don’t mind me to say presently
Like a cat from a grove in our field, outside of our fort
Only partially rousing me from your deep setting comfort
Until it is off, and back in its place
So quick it seemed that it had to race
Just as I began this, another one, thirty something or so
This account originally began after this line, yet this you already know
Half hazardly I complete the last sequenced account, before the twenty lines that began this, unclear
Far too easy to reinterpret what I had recorded, but I only fear
That in the last four lines I may not have made it certain
It was I who had descended to the floor when
Still in your sight, somehow, and moving away from the dark spot
Away from the crevice where it was I who bought
All that you put up for sale, your price was payment
So, I moved on down like it wasn’t you who sent
Me there, the timing too crisp and precise unless you were, for a change
Following my lead, something strange
In that I would only double think myself back into that crevices corner had I known
Yet still I don’t, right up to the present instant, I am prone
To your lovable tricks and laughable ploys
To your riddles and hints and advice and how I enjoy
When you let me hang, to hold my breath and scratch my scalp to the skull
Certain that I never thought of myself as being this dull
Until you started to toy with my head, as I gave it to you
Simply because I had nothing else left to do
With it, it was meant for your use
All along, I suppose, as I climb down the stair well and start to confuse
Over again, where had you gone?
You were here just a second ago, I couldn’t have been wrong
Memory flash sequenced; you must be able to teleport
You’d casually suggest as within our fort
There could also be a vast series of trap doors and hidden passages, secret
But before that panic you sometimes let hang sets in like regret
Your position is marked by your call
Two words spoken or three, a contraction, I stall
At this sound you fire over to my being
Out loud, with force, and full of light and seeing
Me in a way I could only understand as I apply it to you, as I did recently
When you called to the sun, into its light so bright so as to see
Myself as I searched about and around
Where had you gone? Where could you be found?
Your call, yes, overhead and all around and full
I dare not look up to it with my reflex reactive pull
You said, like I mentioned, three words bridged within a contraction
That spoke these thoughts, though I pretended to have no reaction
“Critically it might seem that none of these things were said”
“As my mouth made not these motions, the quotation marks indicate I am speaking instead”
“Of with signs, like I just finished doing, or with thoughts, anytime”
“Or like you seem to prefer, drafting line after line”
“So here is what I did here, I see you on the floor, the ground”
“While you search about and around”
“For me, where I went, so I let you off the hang line”
“First here I am, second, I’m doing fine, and one more, now I pine”
“That it is you who is that, as you call out to me”
“Remember this call when we must part and get loose, though less free”
Bethinks myself a strange turn for you to state
Shamelessly, across the ground, the floor, our position in fate
Now I feel the courage to check up to your position
We’ve traded again so as to avoid a cataclysmic collision
Like I know it will be when at last we can press
Parts of ourselves together, I drink deep and confess
That nothing could stop me if you wore such a black band
I’d clearly state my situation, one you already understand
Though I’d hope for a green, or even just such a hug
Where I’d feel you so close and so soft, so warm and so snug
Across your stomach, your belly, you strip open bare
Written in a language foreign to me, though I’d care
To point out that this leads to that
While you lay down flat
Scared for the instant and mortified at the prospect
Proof that we could never be apart, for in that neglect
Our field would cease to exist; we must keep it there
Until you open your hand to prove that you are all right, just a scare
Then out of the motion, a picture that I consider a classic sleeper
We could part our mouths to elevate just a little steeper
So I wade while you watch, a lifeguard, or maybe a lifesaver
Unarmed I am without my light saber
Call it a torch, a club or a light
Just in case you snap your fingers and find a target for me to fight
Ford, not my model, but generally in its hold
My weapons were stowed for we came to a dark place and together fought it bold
Cliff, but not a mountain, a staircase and an intruder
Perhaps a rancid suggestion, afraid at how your words could blur
If applied to me, if I were to state
Such like so, and so I call to fate
And you, my God, you clarify and tell me how you feel
Like in that dream as I kneel
Intrusion to be sent down a staircase and pummeled
Just pounded, my fingers a fist while you boil a kettle to scald
Pulling that pin and covering my head
From shrapnel that could hurt bad instead
Of the way we interchange and discuss and discourse
Mostly on the astral plane, of course
The earthly bodies in which we are contained contains a drive
Being that which is necessary to keep us alive
So though I hear your call and know I’ll be there in an eye blink if you happen to fall
Or there if you issue forth any such call
Limitations exist, and proof though we may be
I hunger to hear you and to see
You, as I hope on every end of the weak
Willed desire to be beheld and behold you, to hear you speak
Without electronic interference in place
Like an armour clad knight choking people in outer space
Upon the ground, I stand, I turn, I consume and I burn
I wonder what is to happen next and I learn
That time has shifted forward again
Call it a second, or an instant, as the sun shifts and then
We trade our positions once more
I take to the sky as you take the floor
I take the five as you take the driver, steel
I take the string as you take the horn, wheel
And I call over to you and let you hear
Though this pains me greatly, and to the point of a tear
That I must hide once more
I cite off some reasons, and hope neither of us will be sore
“The hour approaches, and I want this to go down”
“As the best I have spent, I fear something may happen to force upon me a frown”
“So, like I stated before and though I only want”
“To be right at your side, and to flaunt”
“Our position, eternal, as written in stone and in ink”
“That are communion is righteous and just, so I think”
“Like the season spent in direct and constant communication”
“We will suffice to be in proximity and clean in our elation”
“I will listen and hold steady”
“Let me know when you are ready”
With a firm and grudging acceptance
Though you, just like me, condemn such a stance
My fear, I hope for the last, interferes with a normative chance
To start with a close pace, a wink, a turn, and a dance
Yet with the strength you have, you are incarnate and sure
While I lie to myself and pretend to be pure
Respect is sent to me, and I keep myself calm
Seated yet again upon
A cushion in a corner of the crevice, in plain view
When we are both on high, moment’s precious and few
My timepiece is fixed and in a sequence it will end
My mind clears quickly at how all of this did mend
Together so nicely, I could not risk any way to bend
It and cause it some sort of sour note, I prepare to send
Some sort of meek sound, blankly I wait
Soon you will state
Coyly, like I anticipate every sentence and every statement
Finding out in which way every syllable was meant
Where you will pause, and when you strike
Louder and softer, sweeter, sharper, all of it I like
As I know the effects when you make some music fast
Octavian delight and I’d challenge the world to the last
Fiber of our field if anything were to make light
Of your anything, everything you are, from mind to sound to sight
Now using your drive, you wind down from the perfect ten
Stating that it will be said all over again
Soon, but not yet
And though I might let
Deception attempt to convince me otherwise
You paused on the five, was that your dress size?
Not that it mattered, I mean, besides everything else that has gone on
Would this point along mean that there is no way we were wrong
Laughing lightly at the wind down and the strike on the five
Felt somewhat pleased to be somewhat alive
So at your urge
As I am unable to argue when you encourage
We both vow, like the season
That this will be the last like this, no need for verbal treason
When the first and last was shifted into first and only
Though they mean the same, and I never feel lonely
I need more, and I knew this was the case
As soon as I first heard you in the first place
At first sound
Time has unwound
And in the first day as it finally got good
In the exact way that we knew that it should
Your first sounds were repeated my way
Though I don’t quite remember what it was you had to say
I think I sighed
And probably couldn’t have lied
In that field, thinking myself alone
About hearing immediately your tone
Your tenure and your talent
I wonder if you become misty at where it all went
Ash I do upon the ground in the crevice, not wanting to cringe
If maybe you’d grow course at what could turn into a singe
Blasting off again, cool is the name
Just tell me when you decide what is the game

hazard

10th January 2004, 03:49

Hope has found us here again
Where it was we left off when
I was hidden within the crevice, wondering why we must mark off the turn
Of an ancient tradition while there is not a thing I cannot learn
Except that even out of sight, you can never be out of mind
In every crevice within my mind it seems I find
Not only a memory of you but a dream or vision
And here you stop it all for a second and you recollect fission
Fully realized, we are deployed and I see with you
A future time, not too distant, but so far and do
You realize that in the span you warp us into
There is little more than not a few
Beautiful, stunning, incredible and perfect things
You will bring to me on angels wings
Like gifts from high above
Sweet it is that is our love
The second stop to prevent the transition
Yields only a statement clear of our position
You hold me firm so that I will not squirm away
For in this vision of the future you begin to say
"Tis the day we live for, I adore it all"
"Every nuance, sequence and mention of any stall"
"While we sit apart and closing upon"
"A fuller version of this very song"
"I will play you like the notes you send"
"On the fly and unable to amend"
"Them like you will to each of these, so please bear along"
"And I will be as wonderful and strong"
"As it is when you speak of the moment where we sit and I break a second into"
"A billion moments and then start them again when this is through"
We get it going then with some old sort of irritation speeches
That I despise reciting as they tax where my spirit reaches
As far as you require
And still so much higher
When you make me close my eyes and forget
That I ever had a need to ever regret
Any moment spent apart, and every second of the first day
When I either had not a way
To reach you or the desire to find
How it was that you will reach into me and unwind
The tension as it starts to coil
Another bout to break down and foil
While new sort of things begin to invade our keep, our space
You buckle down and make sure to place
Aloud a sudden recital of your own, to me
While my hand rests on my forehead to see
What I hear in words that shape objects within my mind
Words that start and so you speak in such kind
"Here I go, and don't let me stop for I cannot as I want you neither"
"To break this pace, I will keep it clear and sure"
"While you tap your forehead upon a hole"
"I speak quietly of a head like it, then console"
"As I stress in the slightest way"
"Music shaped in such a play"
"Then I mention a blast in place of a ball"
"A control story that weeps wonders of this, our fall"
"Now I will allow you to take over and fill in the blanks"
"Hoping myself we are through with exchanging thanks"
However, as I sit within the crevice and am watching this event from the future time not yet transpired
I am uncertain of what thanks you are referring to, but your will has conspired
Once again an exaltation
My heart leaps up at in sound elation
A story of control and a blast?
An ancient tale that will surely last
Past all the days we will live upon
It is a certain hit, a wondrous song
"My love, you call to me and want me to tell of"
"The earliest ways in which I found you, love"
"A blue light blinks while a pink one rises"
"Tracking like a trek, this is another of your super surprises"
"So, rather having to die than surrender a position"
"You break the hold I have that prevents the collision"
"Of celestial bodies, yours and mine, no matter what must be surrendered"
"While in a language eastward my ear, knee and ball of foot were lured"
"To kick back on a stupid line that was neither yours or mine"
"A certain indication of our past, our growing love and certain sign"
Exasperated at your timing, your mental stamina and strain
I feel like I've fallen in love all over again
Made this one classic
I get drunk, I get high, I might get sick
From the overwhelming sensation that is so sweet
I was unprepared for such a treat
But you strike me up for another soon
And suddenly I melt like a cube in June
Rapid now and rabid I cringe at how full you drive me this way
Shutting my mouth and not letting me say
Anything else, just letting you ride
Away, blocking any doubt that I might, or you, leave each others side
You regress and I get giddy, I grow and I swell
So clean you press and I feel so well
That move an inch and collapse, rising slowly, surely
Awesome, just awesome to get me free
An electronic calendar’s marked date forgotten
Swift, you strike me harsh again
Using names that start my laughing
Then swift again you start me gasping
For air, too much but I need so much more
I cannot help but scream out it is you, it is you, I adore
The sensation as you shift your voice
Granting me my one and only choice
You, and that is all
All is well, like in the fall
Of our descent to the field, though we know not what it is
You do not allow me yet to miss
You as if you might just wander off and I cannot find
The time in this vision collapses and I dare not wind
It up and see where it is going
Then, you find it and I cannot sing
Anymore, again, you clasp my hands so tightly and I try not to let you see me take
This, I cannot, you are so real, so much better than any candy coated fake
Anything else, you let me raise my fist for I cannot help it now
My entire body feels your brow
Beat down upon me, and I want it not to end
Until your voice booms over to mend
My sobs, I won't collapse, you will not let
Don't let it be over yet
I lost count of how many times before you asked me to swoon
Certainly, as I fall onto the ground and loom
Myself into a favoured series of actions
No longer concerned at the effect that our contractions
May have on or about
I need you, I love you, I want to shout
As loud as I can
If it can any way be part of this plan
You seek my conscious mind across the crevice where I hide
You have all my secrets, and I cannot confide
Any more apologies ever again, but just because I want you to hear
Thanks for that, I love it so when you make this clear

hazard

11th January 2004, 01:16

Has that second you fragmented expired yet, or are we still
On a future day where I cannot ever get my fill
Of you, the tortured tease
Taking all you have and wanting more, please
I'd say and begin to worry
As time progressed too fast and when I'd usually start to hurry
You'll only blank and talk about hanging up at last
Neither of us thinking it would matter, so fast
Within the crevice I think I see
While we both look to the future as I begin to plea
Lying dizzy and trying not to swoon for long
Our hard connect been severed, gone
Still you send your thoughts to me
While I only try not to behave glumly
Until you send a little laugh about what I should do next and first
Something concerning a towel, not that it hurts, been through the worst
So I dress and refuse to write a check
Tell you meekly not to worry, heck
For in our ship that has been and back
I can stay safe, and wander and find another way to crack
You right up, with that in mind I play a recording
One of which I'd used to sing
Classified I called that one
Years before you first called me sun
Years before I called you moon
Years before you called me sky
Years before I called you earth, I try
Not to consider these things I run on a pass clean
Waiting for you to say something, as this visions dream
Would be worthless if you weren't to come along
So soon it was and I wasn't wrong
You whispered, husky, into my ear
Reminding me something of a time span, a year
That made no sense considering this was still only our second day
Meaning only that there could not be any way
To traverse past a seven daze
Bringing my mind lower and into a craze
I do admit, I do want
I do so love when you grip and taunt
Until I arrive off of our road at a location upon the field you have found
Supposedly after scanning around
And I get out of our ship
Wondering if you might be there, so I can see your hip
Swivel as you gracefully waltz within a maze
Bouncing thoughts about time beyond all day's
You grip my hand and squeeze it hard
You whisper more, and the maze began to shard
As we expand and filter and feed
Bleeding my heart does begin to bleed
The last lines playing of a sound, to breed
My ear craves only to hear you lead
With that soft sound, I've never heard anything like it
Breath and laugh and light and fast, your wit
And braveness just had to belt this out and loud
To all of our field, the ground and the cloud
Line overhead melts away
Sounds that spoke a million things, I say
That I'd do anything to hear that again
You hold up the card, a perfect ten
Now within the maze and with you ready
I move about as you keep me steady
Must find some things, like when you found that instrument
A guitar I believe it is called, a minstrel’s way to pay the rent
While he travels with it in his arms
Something to hold onto and exert his charms
As I have done and will do for you, only you
Mostly since that, you, is all there is, a few
Paces later and I find what you needed first, a recording on a mirror
A picture of a heart, so clear
Mine thumps as I hear you say this just before
Not a thing you have done ever seems a chore
"Will say eight words that mean eighty thousand more"
"My love will now recall and speak of this score"
"Here's a little something on something else, I spoke in a manner quick and gruff"
"Don't mind my love, he's laughing now, he's not so tough"
"I took this something from an old book he wrote on the first day"
"A book from which we often play"
"Just as he is doing for me on this day"
"Working along and wearing a colour between the super connection; gray"
"Well, I announced this little something during the time as it began"
"For so very long I've done this with a stall, an old and treasured plan"
First task over, I've battled through
And found a favourite just as you knew
I would, you kiss my cheek
And hold me there so as not to let me collapse and weep upon your feet
Thanking and holding and bowing and braying
Vowing and knowing and constantly staying
With you wherever you'd let me be
Hopefully together within that old tree
Where I made a crown for you out of leaves and twigs
While love we made and shared and drank deep of in lengthy swigs
I wander deeper within the maze and become sort of drunk on these thoughts
You clap your hands together so I can regroup, as lots
Of misdirective interfering distractions I have passed by
If only to find what it is, so I try
To settle down a bit, relieve the tension built within my chest
Dryly muttering something about your being the best
So I raise my chin
And enter again and begin
To make my way to the maze's archives
There I find and search through piles of texts that make mention of our lives
Until I find a jewel for your crown
I look at it carefully and try not to frown
You lean over my shoulder and look at it lightly
Wondering what it is I have found, and asking me to speak of it brightly
"Strange that I forgot of this prophecy I long ago made and set apart"
"It began within the first day, where I connected us back to the start"
"A sword that could be forged and disassembled at a round table"
"This text spoke of this and I am capable"
"Only to say that upon the retrieval of a third volume"
"That whoever I had found would cause me to swoon"
"And on the moment you cause me to do this"
"Upon the luck of fate you bring me here and I find it sealed with your kiss"
"Funny how I look at it and shrug after all we've been through"
"Just to prove to each other that our love is true"
Suddenly I smile and don't know if I should call it par
Simply because of the way you forced me into our vehicle, in this vision it was a car
Thinking of jade temples and flocks of cranes and secret words
Moving quickly around the globe like cattle herds
To provide dark leather to shield and wear like armour
I find this prize within the maze and still am as sure
As I am as I sit within the crevice, awaiting the stroke
And the chime of a transition, you seem invisible beneath your cloak
Remembering you wearing that hood and seated in front of a monitor
While I sigh and look and turn away while you speak and mumble sure
Until I need to check away and clack and click
Upon the keys while you playfully provide urges, quick
My embarrassment dawns as you let me play with you these things
While I think back to a tide with eels, where it sings
Of rocks and a log, a fire pit and a full moon to reflect
The waves and wash away such neglect
That defined almost all of our first day
I take the text and cannot run away
Because I have run to the only place I've ever wanted
And no matter the cost, the pain, it is here I want to be instead
Of anywhere else, in the crevice, with you so close
I can feel your breath warm me as it escapes your nose
Firm against me and snugly too
You hold my hand and tell me that its all true
But in the vision, I find a seat
Vacantly I remember how you tell me that you'd let me hold your feet
Before you can multiply the way I am supposed to take
These words, I cover my head and say that for the sake
Of eternity, please get us there
Now, I don't care
What is the cost
Without you I am so lost
That forfeit would it all become
A black hole is what would be the sun
Until all of the field is gone and through
Never you shout, and I believe it will someday be true
I hear you bounce your self around
My God how I love to hear that sound
Since it is only found
To escape from the most round
And beautiful set of cheeks I've ever seen
Connected to a chin so smart
That when I think of it I have to start
Writing or singing or laughing or playing
Or all of these at once and call it weeping
Well rested now I rise from the seat within this vision we share
Still I try not to care
Too much to collapse and blurt
Aloud how much it does hurt
To not be back within that crevice and waiting
For some thing's you would soon be stating
To not be where I was when you spoke of a payment for this
Holding myself so hard as you suck my kiss
To not be held within your arms tight
I'd close my eyes and deny all sight
To not be listening to your voice as you sway
It as musically as any epic play
Then I find myself back in our car
Looking at the meter and realizing that it is far
That we've gone on like this
And I realize that it will also be hard and I will miss
Doing these things and I need you to keep me from this regress
I blank and stare at the steering wheel, dashboards confess
Upon the road I wheel on down
Riding along the lake and through a town
Where we had been before within this second day
Under the cover of night and in matrimony's sway
Giving a shout out to the living dead
Checking the time piece and rushing home instead
Since you promised that you'd be waiting there
Exactly like you said you'd be, being fair
Wearing blue, and getting crazy
Not letting me for a second think of getting lazy
One more task and then I'm there
Wondering if I'll be able to stare
At any reproductions I'd think to box up
Pouring you wine into a glass, make that a cup
While in front a fireplaces roar
We'd comfort ourselves and keep love pure
Another disk full of information
Retrieves, I check it off the list and seek your sedation
Kicking down the door and casting the items aside
I leap to you and I bide
A few moments to load up that image you gave me earlier on
Looking at the smile you give me and singing a song
My head collapses and I swoon again
Now I hold up my own sign, a perfect ten
At last, the second within the crevice expires
My head all busted up and feeling like a thousand wires
All reconnected again and cool
Your gift for me has become the tool
To make it all work once more
Knowing then I cannot get off of the floor
So you tell me to sit tight and you'll be right over soon
An hours approach begins to loom

Saint-Just

11th January 2004, 21:28

The number of poems you have written is truly staggering.

hazard

12th January 2004, 00:29

cm:

you seem to be suggesting that I am lacking in quality. this is inferred through the fact that you highlight the quantity. if so, I am insulted and infuriated.

on the flip, these are all like first drafts with minor revisions. the quantity only reflects my indication of what I am actually writing about as being not only worth the effort, but oh so much more. I am working a formula where each poem reflects a stanza, and eventually the total of them will be combined into something of one big poem of some kind or another. so the thread title "another love poem" really means that each poem is really only one stanza of this poem. I don't know whether there is any validity of any of these in isolation from each other stanza. I know that the first fifteen or so didn't have much continuity, as I was waiting to see what direction I was going to take this in. it was either going to be another "conquest" style thing or what this one currently is. I don't really know, so I'll leave it blank.

revoevo

12th January 2004, 01:47

no need to be so defensive, hazard. i've noticed that your replies to longlost and cm seem to reflect an insecurity about your poetry. you are a very talented writer, and no larry lunch box who can write an abstract piece of crap could compete with your talent and style. but does not give you the right to judge what is art and what is not. it was too much of a generalization, critizing all non-rhyming poetry, and i know that there are some very talented poets who don't rhyme their work. infact, it goes both ways. rhyming poetry often gets awkward when the focus is on the rhyme and not the emotion conveyed.

and as for cm, he first complimented your poetry:

Thats very impressive. You must attract the sophisticated woman very well, very lucky.

and then said something that was merely a true statement, that you have written a huge amount of poetry. when your writing is so extensive, how can you assume cm is "suggesting that you are lacking in quality"? that's ridiculous.

your work is some of the best i've ever read, and i'm sure some of the best many others have ever read. but you need to get off your high horse - don't defend yourself when you're not being critized.

hazard

12th January 2004, 03:12

revoeve:

yet should I defend myself from someone who says that I should not defend myself?

this infinate regress I, as a staunch critic, am forced into based on any comment is ridiculous. thats why I rpesent two alternates. one assumes that the comments made have an undertone. one assumes tat it does not. based upon whoever makes the comments, they should select the correct response. that is your decision to make, not mind.

its called covering all the bases

if I believed anybody were capable of understanding a third alternate, I would construct it as an additional response for your selection. so far I ahve no reson to believe any of you are capable of it.

hazard

12th January 2004, 03:27

Intertwined with the vision beheld within the crevice
Sharply I begin to fight off a growing grimace
Time has resumed and I can see the seconds move
Tiring in only the slightest I have run out of things to prove
So I slump in that cushion and hold my drink
Letting my mind relax and not wanting to think
Of much of anything, you have gone on for so long
I need to do so something as all along
This is the way I have felt, and I cannot blame
You for any extra strain
You have placed upon us, for in its vacancy I start to nod off
Until you shock me awake and I gently cough
Sitting up again and looking around
Knowing the time draws and still I cannot will myself to be found
By any of your five senses, strong
It seems as if I have been sitting here for so long
That getting out of my seat
Could cause me to collapse to my feet
Shushing me you play the ever gratuitous host
And I still feel as if I have no right to boast
About you, or me, or both of us together
Though it is so blindingly obvious we are connected by this surreal tether
Suddenly it is done
Over, finished, gone and none
The worse am I for the weather
Hiding I sigh and can be sure
That of all the moments in all of my two days so far
The last interval has done much to cure every last scar
Etched upon my soul, my heart and my mind
All thanks to you, a blessed find
Though under the microscope I cannot determine who found who first
It matters not, as such details cannot mean that my thirst
Is lessened or measured in a greater quantity
Thanks again for setting me free
Thanks for the well measured dosage of pure insanity
Thanks for the laughter and sure sense of compatibility
Thanks for the transcendence and protection of our tree
Thanks for the instant when you let me fall
Thanks for answering my every call
Thanks for the lead, the read and the plead
Thanks for the promise, the smiles, the thanks and the requests
Thanks for putting me through the gauntlet of never ending tests
Thanks for calling me all of those things
And thanks once more for all of the times you let me hear how wonderful it sounds when your voice sings
Missed a million more things for which I must thank
So I stop flat and check the bank
Account we opened long ago
Still collecting vast amounts of interest, like you didn’t know
Real you say and I see you pause for just an instant
Letting it all dawn and stopping me before I strike up into a never ending rant
I sit back a bit and let out another sigh of relief
Here I am still, and still in a sort of disbelief
We decide to hold our exchange for a little later
Though we form no words and are simply sure
Such as when a pet spoke of all things being just as they must
In our will and effort I put all of my trust
Part of me wants to sort of rush and find
You, where you are and in what kind
Of trouble I might not be able to correct
Until you put out that strong willed thought concerning respect
“These words will mean nothing defined in a way current”
“Though I say words when I don’t say any, so stay wherever it is your doubt has sent”
“You for the moment and remember that this will be our first like this”
“And next time around we will softly kiss”
“For now I say to give us a minute, and you know”
“When I speak like this I won’t let you show”
“That you won’t understand how long a minute is, or who else there could be”
“Besides the only occupants within our field, you and me”
“Been holding off on doing this for a while”
“But is a key indication of our growing style”
As I sit your presence surrounds and envelops
As I feel this
I feel your cheek press close to mine
I feel a little whimper, a wine
Forced out of my throat, and I feel this sensation
And hold my hand, soft elation
This minute goes on for a minute more
Until you let up and I feel a little sore
Gone back, so it seems
And so I rise and try to find you, the answer to all of my dreams
To all of my wishes, all of my everything
But you hold me for one more second before I rise to my feet and take to wing
You grant us just one more second to fall into
As we journey into a lengthy review
That was to be completed long before
I finally walked through the door
To our castle as you have made it here
A review you sent me into when you reminded me that fear
Was all that I am capable of without you
Fear, and constant agitation too
So you had me take account of so many things we’ve done
All of the things I’ve already thanked you for, and all of the fun
And together we review it fast
In that second you open into an infinite account, I cast
An eye roll and try to stop this flood
Since my method cherishes them like the dearest life blood
All of the second day up to the moment
Without allowing me the will to regret at where all of them went
The first day ends and I awake in your arms
Knowing I’m not a victim to your immaculate charms
But still in awe and overwhelmed, only the first time of so many you
Let me know well in advance what I plan to do
My idea to play stupid and send you a tape of songs
About you and how I fear that such wrongs
Can never be fixed, instead, you make it seem like you already received
This and bought my see through deception you couldn’t have believed
Anyway and we journey back t the beginning of all time
When we stood alone on our field, and we started to rhyme
Each other and construct this, our world
And then that first day ended and there I found myself curled
Close to you, and closing even further
So certain, so sure
You were in this solitude that I couldn’t distinguish
Between our interchange and all else that attempted to extinguish
Us and our love and our field as a whole
Into you I surrender my control
Though I know not exactly when
So we journey once more back to the beginning of the first day again
And again, until we find a working mindset
And I begin braying in some sort of regret
For not seeing it was you all along
About all of the worlds deception and wrong
Strange how you’d descend upon me to shush me up for a while
Only to scream out for you as soon as you left, just give me another mile
On the first day to fight and find you
Since now that you’re here I’ve nothing to do
My whole life up to this point has been shaped towards this
And now that I’m there I sort of do miss
Finding us there
You let me know that you care
And find a way to simulate this
Our second day dawning with this mild, gentle kiss
Every chance we get we look together into the first one
When I could still look up to the sky and see the sun
Not thinking it was you, or hearing your words speak
Babbling once more like heaven’s creek
“Absolute in only every instant, you receive my badge and you hold”
“It at this interval whenever you need to get bold”
“Cosmic push and pull and fall, fall when I call”
“I might as well be on the other side of every wall”
“Or behind you every step you take, in front of you every time you close your eyes”
“I am the perfect weight, sound, shape and size”
“For you, the only shoe that could ever fit and you want it all and you want it now”
“Even though you pretend this isn’t true I see it every time you crease your brow”
“And I acknowledge your arguments about the transitional instant in your meta text”
“Still, I think I’ll like much better what you are to write next”
You hand me a green pad and open an old box of paper and some pens
I look into my eye and see a shifting lens
Reading material provided and courses laid out
I sort of chuckle when I hear you shout
About planning good, I remember on the first day mentioning this and sighing
How much I would love to be your king
And almost seeing that wicked curl of your lips as we saw each other in the eye
Of the hurricane, the first time we ever got high
In person
Our preferred version
Though in a vision we just awoke from before the countdown ended
Brings into argument this fact, as now we have mended
And cleared out that interval and made it so much better than
I thought could have ever been squeezed into our plan
Timing so tight and clean and on track
As our words flow into each other and I cannot help but crack
That smile so wide that it hurts to keep it in tune
Give me a second, I need to swoon
So I recover and we play through the earliest parts of the second day
We search through all time and every time I sway
When we construct a different version of our daily events
Relying primarily on the sixth and seventh sense
Funny I remember hanging my head against the wall
Asking like an infant why I can’t go right to you, as we always seem to stall
For too long, and even longer, and longer than that
Until my pleading begins to grow tiresome and I should just lay flat
You say protection, and I doubt and consider rejection
So for fun, to take my mind off of this stupidity we play a game of inspection
Done for now, I forget so many instants that I turn into a lifeless corpse like
Thing until you decide that I should take a hike
And go into a maze and start accumulating a collection of data
Warping our ship and finding a
Way around all of the blocks
While you speak to me in rhythm, and rock
Along unable to sing a word to any song
Only wanting to be in your arms and become strong
Until finally the world begins to reflect us in ways so obvious
We can no longer afford to be devious
Speaking like we don’t know each other for the last time out loud
Counting down the days until I try to make you proud
As I sit in our fighter, that alpha and wait
Until you hit a button and send me out, never late
Mister you called me and I laugh for a minute and I sweat
Never alone I remember and you make sure that I bet
On the right number as the dice are tossed
Angrily suggesting that I risk not the cost
Of you mentioning ten seconds left and that’s all there is, all there could be
Clutching my fist and starting to see
That we seem to know that there is so much more to go
We should really let it show
In a more obvious way
Not too much later do I stop being coy and ask you to play
Something else, a little less deceptive but so much more clear
I gasp aloud when you let me hear
This out loud, and I wonder if you will say anything embarrassing
And you laugh and say after all of that, how could I not sing
That and make sure it is obvious, at least to you and I
Despite what doubt will force us to try
And contend with, let’s kick it into high gear
Until the end of this sorry year
Quickly now the memories flood past
And I rush out of that second to find you again, at last

hazard

13th January 2004, 02:57

In that instant as I rise to me feet
As my head swims and the prospect of any defeat
Rushes away and I close a distance towards you quick
You make me aware that only in the nearest nick
Of time I arrived at the edge of the crevice instead of inside its shadow
Since you struck a tone, and it seems as if it is one of the ways you let me know
That it is love we feel for each other, and while I consider
Letting you make ridiculous suggestions until I can make sure
There is not a shred of decency left on our field at all
You push me once, too hard, into the wall
And I must strike back with a counter line
Then you stop, and your silence stirs a wine
Within me, I mean, what a pointless point to pick on
When we are both in complete agreement upon how wrong
That issue is, not just as a practice but a point to irritate
With, I shrug it off and wonder if you, my life long mate
Might not have expected me to stomp my foot on that one
Regardless if you picked that argument just for fun
You look to the floor
With a hangdog expression I sort of adore
Except when you force me to wonder at the sincerity
Since there is a distance, a gap, and your ever confounding sense of mystery
My brain finds our will and you seem satisfied
At whatever it was you were seeking satisfaction in, I tried
To determine why you struck that chord, that tone
As in doing so I become prone
In that alternation of probabilities you run in a sequence
Until I figure out doing so was really dense
Of me, as you will, then I figure it was your suggestion
And the build up of congestion
Eases away after, I don’t know, an eternal second, long
That in itself is too long, and wrong
But I dare not bicker on that point here
Since I see you across, and are so near
All I have to do is move my feet
And walk right up and look into you, and try to say something neat
Certainly you could do the very same
Thus we hit this constant strain
While you take the lead I figure there is a least I can do
Such as doing this and calmly explaining how we knew
From my perspective and see how close we can get
Although here it is I somehow let
Another series of thoughts interject
And I do not know if my actions could force neglect
Protection, right? Cover, right? Secret, right?
And so I humbly wait for you to pick another fight
Until one or both of us get it down
If you tell me when, I’ll leave town
And if you say where
I’ll meet you there
But you tell me slow
Exactly like I always wanted it to go
Like how you’ve fulfilled every wish and every dream
Somehow keeping all of it so very clean
Across the crevice to your birch we stand
And I survey beneath as a model of our field, our land
You indicate that I’ve been quiet all night
Softly, as we just finished a sensibly senseless fight
I try not to sound cold when I say that I’m just taking it all in
So that I can hammer it out until my words become thin
Like a recording machine that cannot bother to feel real
Since if I were to consider you like this I’d fall and I’d kneel
And I’d crawl around on the floor
Too ashamed to admit that every passing moment I need you even more
Than the instant before
But you won’t let me crawl anymore
Taking it all in should really be taken to mean
That for the first time in my life all of reality does not only seem
To be connected to you, but is you, all that you are and have ever been
And every motion you make, gesture, thought, word or wave becomes a scene
To be broken into a trillion more, and I fear only missing any of them
When we are together since you rarely let me know when we can be together again
You seem to sigh as we realize this, and recall the only sequence when we both did
Seem to know in advance of another event, and I bid
All that I could, all that I was and still
There was a way to interfere and fill
The next while with dread like uncertainty
Knowing that I was no longer able to employ plan bee security
Holding onto you for dear life and you couldn’t let me go
Very, very slow
We worked it into this event, as we stood across the gap
Still too fearful was I to open my yap
And shout out to you with all of my might
To your face and within your sight
That I love you just as I did when I heard you first on the first day
Following through and true to this into the second, and if I may
Be so bold as to think that you’d call me over and together
Turn our backs in tune and leave forever
To find a quiet place upon our field, away from all of this and all of that
To stand together and lay together flat
To do other things and more than these
To alleviate ourselves from hate’s disease
To finally discuss all of the ways we did and still do please
Each other and still try to do more and faster
Slowing down and letting me submit to you, my master
Unless you want to switch this around
Giggling as I am stumped and will confound
Raising my eyebrows to you for suggestion as I freeze like ice
You look to me from your perch and say that you hope I mean that nice
In a good way, as good as that can be
Since you have forced me from my position to live so piously
That neither of us could really do much of anything
Except hold each other’s hands and sing
About God and nature and peace and harmony
Like little elves in our little tree
STrumming tunes like a pair of hopeless, happy, hapless bard
You look to me again, hard
And like a shard into the future we are sent again
Growing somewhat used to this and then
Less like that brook that babbles in divinities creek
Your words take a tone, and I dare not speak
“Value loaded and insipid, base”
“File this one and prepare it for that useless case”
“Reflect the light I shall and into your sight”
“Bear with me bull, be patient and it’ll be all right”
“So, birds and mice and dog’s and bunnies”
“Saintly, maybe, but I think of some silly funnies”
“We are like a monk, and we switch on the evenings”
“Though you will not want to hear such things”
“To pass that time while you work your logic right”
“ I’ll prepare for another pick to another useless fight”
No sooner are we done with this you ask me what the problem is
I cycle through wanting to slowly kiss
You on every part of you
And examine every single word you threw
Toss aside my cheap shot, and you knew it where it went
Knowing I can’t stand it when you make sure I will fight being sent
Anywhere away from you with as much muscle as I can muster
Even if I still can only fluster
My way through pretending we aren’t in constant connection, solid
So we see the obstacle and together we slid
Beneath it and I see that on my green pad you let me forget previously
I entered this stanza on a bicker, not to be taken seriously
Very quaint, a show of some kind
Yet for now I am content to find
Alleviation in your thanks
Received well like a massive dose of tranks
Like we haven’t worked through any worse
While you seem quite adept at utilizing my curse
To our advantage, though I greatly anticipate
Such a date
When you will sit down with me and put it all together and clear it all up at last
From every nuance made, and every spell you cast
To every time you heard me call to you
Where you were and how you always knew
Tied to the tracks I stutter away
When you super load a song that doth play
A series of excellent mental notes, quick and clear
Each as sudden and so very near
To our heart as I hold my souvenir for you tight
My voice breaks clean as you enter my mental visions sight
A plan, like a mother, to an uncle bad
I’m loving this, but feeling like you need me feeling mad
Across the floor as you call out on cue
A slight pause as if you knew
Starting riots and bulletproof and acoustic guns
I stop only to wonder how many buns
Are in a package and then I let you go all the way
After letting me think we wouldn’t be cool today
You make up like that, awesome, sure and not done
Another time to keep this on and fun
Looking deep and meeting at midnight
I’d surrender it all to go back and experience our first sight
Once again, to find us still here
Not knowing how near
We would get to losing it all
As I will always answer your lover’s call
Then, again like in a mirror we reflect to the moment we are in
Across the gap and deep within
Our castle, our keep, our mission, our hold
It’s defence has been here foretold
So I state that if it were to be defiled that I’d make the trip
Soon so as to not let any of our interwoven value slip
Away until we can go again, and divvy up there
We must keep it safe, for it is where
We still are as this is being flashed like a vision certain
Then, you make the call when
You say that you shall take the lead and defend from within
I consider momentarily whether I should attempt to begin
To find a way to meet you inside
In case there is a need for our connection to defend the tide
From being shifted or altered in any negative way
And to give us a chance to be close again and sway
We conclude that this option is a nay
I will wait on the button if you need my move to play
Out in full and with friction
Strange how I would once consider such words fiction
In agreement you call out that you were on it
Then in a slight dig, I bit
At long ago
We discussed how we might enjoy playing in the snow
That might suddenly fall upon the field in a chill
Within either yours or my will
Crossing paths, as I consider a mountain range
I shake my head and think that that may be just too strange
Simply because it is difficult enough for me to stand when we are near
Let alone strap on some bindings and slide about, being clear
Maybe we’d get lucky enough to be seated on a lift that might stall
We could look into each other and quickly fall
Into each others arms when nobody is looking for the minute or five
While the cold wind slowly saps at what keeps us alive
Then quickly and with ease slide away
Waiting for another moment like this on this day
Within the vision I awake still in your sight, and held
Locked so intertwined that I felt like we were permanently weld
Until, as usual, I have to twist my head away
Stumbling off until you gently say
With as much depth and meaning and love
A line so classic that it seems like it came from above
Heralded by an angel that speaketh in tongues of fire
Sung as amazingly as a full vocal choir
You dare with a don’t and with a direction to go
I smile very softly and say yeah, I know

Saint-Just

13th January 2004, 09:37

cm:

you seem to be suggesting that I am lacking in quality. this is inferred through the fact that you highlight the quantity. if so, I am insulted and infuriated.

Not at all, I would never do that. I think your poems are amazing. I was simply staggered that you could write so many of them. Haing said that I suppose most writers are able to do so. But these poems are very long and I would not suspect someone who is not a professional writer do be writing so many. I have seen the quality of your writing in other posts besides these poems.

I praised your poems in the first instance and I am not suggesting that they have fallen in quality since the first ones. Indeed, some are better.

Undoubtedly you have a great future in writing for television and films or theatre. I don't think you can make much money from poetry though.

hazard

17th January 2004, 00:53

make much money from poetry, you say? don't you know how a poet gets paid? by my evalutaion, as determined by the "prime focal point of transcendence" contained within this piece, I am the richest man in existence. unortunately for both of us, the trade value of this money is such that if it were to be traded, it would lose all of its value. bitter, but the simple fact is that this is how it is.

hazard

17th January 2004, 03:25

Instantly I am aware, in our keep, that the defence of which you are responsible
Was successful and so I pull
The corners of my cheeks into something of a pleasant expression
Knowing that as soon as I reach the bottom of the staircase you are going to have some fun
Not even blinking you spin a time spin, though we just exited one
Had a feeling it would be a while before this one would be done
No sooner was I upon the ground, the floor, and you upon your perch
Though it has suddenly begun to seem more like a birch
A kind of tree, its name new to myself
Just as I once looked within my space to a shelf
Where I had a box of boom placed on high
Hearing you ask what I was doing before the knowledge made me try
To feel anything but certain in your position above
One of your wondrous ways that you expressed our love
In the time slip we stream past this and more
Into the future again, the speed becomes a rush and sure
As I am in your careful guidance
When traversing time I must be careful to work under compliance
These visions, tender, as if I could become angry before it is done
Unable to see them through and true to completion, a run
Of memories still to occur
Revealed before me clean and sure
Just completed is your defence of our castle, here
While I raged within a pen waiting to ignite and sear
Any invaders, foreign or local, if upon our border, the land
Of our field, and you were strong enough to hold my hand
Strong and sure and firm and
Knowing that I was there awaiting for me to arrive if you did happen to demand
My presence physical, if required
And so answering such if such is desired
I’d leap into our ship and engage the warp drive
In complete defence of our keep, of you, to keep us alive
Successful in this defence I await you, in this future
To let me in some details as you inject a decent dose of the cure
For the transitional instant, the regress and my doubt of the no doubt
My veins twitch in anticipation and upon infusion I quietly don’t shout
Sheepishly I wonder what we will do
Since the defence was a success, so clear and true
My need to exorcise and make a run into our castle and clean
Was unnecessary, so it would seem
That you’d have to trick me a little to roll me out of bed
So we can meet up and have some fun instead
We one two combo on a game that rocked
Then you spoke out in that wondrous way that you talked
“So far I’ve been dropping some clear clues and lines”
“To you, my love, and we should think of writing out some fines”
“Such as fine, I don’t want you playing the key”
“Not for the next while, not really a plea”
“But an instruction, like I hear when you ask for a verbal confirmation”
“Already got you spinning on a mental note concerning sedation”
“Played to the tune of a no, go, but I still might show”
“There you sit and will I let you know”
“Any more clearly than an original song you sung”
“It’s name, a direction, now let’s have some fun”
We agree sensibly to stall on our promise statement
Reserved for emergency situations, as it has sent
Us to heaven and hell and back here and still
We’ve never broken it once; it is the design of our will
You nap my anxious brain and weary body for an hour or three
Then send me from our tree
Into our car, as it was at that time in shape and in substance
Anything to take a chance
To be with you in our physical format
Noting every position and where you sat
When you looked to me
What I would see
Rolling out with precision and practice
My eyes rolled back in my head as I anticipated bliss
Imagining the shape of your hair as it would entice
Thinking of all the wondrous ways that you’d be nice
Back logged or not
It was you that I sought
As onto the now familiar road of our field I ran
Head first into this, an amazingly well deployed and executed plan
Location found, and I looked around
Listening as you somehow made not a physical sound
Hearing only what you sent over the air
Knowing you were like this with me everywhere
Relaxing I see places familiar, as if I had been there on the first day
Long before I knew who you were or if there was a way
For us to meet in this span of life
Knowing already that you were to be my wife
Yet not knowing where you were, what you looked or sounded like
If you were demure, outstanding, or were to rock the mike
Exactly like you turned out, all of these
No wonder I cannot help to crawl around on my hands and knees
If only to pass your presence and try not to break when
Our paths must part, even if it were only a moments when, then
I relax and I sit and I sip
Wondering when you will appear, if you will lean your hip
Into mine for the slightest of a sensation
Muttering sweet holy mercy and having to shun
The memory and classify it as useless
To forestall the memory flood and instantly regress
So we’re sort of communicating by an unseen connection
When we speak of the promise, and then you state there is no need for inspection
A flip on the prior defence made
A show of force fully paid
You sat on the button that night
I sighed for a second, chuckled, and said that it sounds all right
Then, as if on an intercom
You spoke out and I now laugh at the sound of this song
“Too many buzzing things to counter now”
“My knight has arrived, and I will allow”
“Him to stand in my place, my arrival”
“Will be imminent if there are any more callous threats to his survival”
“More quietly now, I will infer”
“That your blindness, love, and dose of the cure”
“Sometimes forces me to speak in these riddles, like there were more”
“Than you and myself upon this field, as is the chore”
“Just to play out our roles and make this worth our time now”
“Wipe that grin off your face, such I cannot allow”
Not a problem as I light up a smoke
Knowing fully you’d rather me toke
On you, like a pacifier for my retention and I agree
Almost feeling you seated atop of my knee
The hours wind on and we listen and converse
Chasing away things outside of this verse
I squint and think if that could be you
You smack me lightly and tell that thing to shoo
Away while my voice calls out in a test
You would never let that one rest
As my heart jumps a bit and you seem
To quiet up, letting comparatives ensue while I strike out to keep it all clean
Then, you state that I am ready to vacate
This place if you wanted me to rate
The sequence so far
Rushing back to our well weathered car
Laughing all along the way
Yet you held me for one last sequence, I nodded sure, I’ll stay
While I stood you made another speech while I had only
Every indication that this was all right, you were here and I wasn’t lonely
“Ball and chain, baby, this was all good”
“And I know what you’ll do, just like you should”
“Knowing that this was what I went through in the slight darkness”
“The night before, I exaggerate just as you now confess”
“That you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone”
“I’ll tickle you until you can’t help it, I sigh these words; the sun”
“You can imagine me with a hand on my hip”
“Saying that you should have understood what a no show meant, but still you slip”
“Again and can’t help but drive as a victim to your desire”
“But this was all my fault, I admit it, we had fun and nothing more do I require”
So finally you give me the go time command
Glancing one last time to a place familiar within the first day, a demand
That brought the whole thing into perspective
Laughing like a madman onto the street you seem to wonder if I could ever forgive
You for whatever it might seem like had happened
I laugh even more fully, how I depend
On such a well formulated and flawless attempt at chance
Where we could reach eternity within the connection of our glance
Into the car, or think tank
I forget which it was since you pulled off this prank
Driving in the wrong direction and topping off
Pulling my head to the left and starting to cough
My tires seem to strip
At the strange way that this trip
Has spun them in all directions at once
Crawling about like a rag doll, but not dunce
Do I feel as I attempt to calculate the factors involved
An infinite equation that may never be solved
You suggest maybe this, or maybe that from suggestions in the past
I shrug at them all and settle for the last
Magic it is, like a sorceress casting weaves
Until in the transition I am home and I stall off of one of my standard grieves
While in the present, in our castle you stand above
Blinking once to continue in this forecast of our acts of love

hazard

17th January 2004, 07:54

Instigated by that blink
The vision continues and I am unable to think
Of the moment where we are
Myself, on the floor, you above, but not so far
So as to be out of sight, unclear and confused
Somehow, I return and think of how it might seem I’d feel abused
I was tricked, I might think
Even as we laugh together while you wink
So I return in our car, no worse for the wear
Nothing else of interest to report, being fair
I jot down some notes concerning this very account
Mostly in reference to the amount
Of times I make reference to the span of a day
Not that you would misunderstand anyway
Yet it must be clarified before I move on deeper into this vision true
As it had happened then, it happens here too
There are field days measured in the span of the biblical creation
When, according to normative time, millions of years become a sum
Condensed into a matter of hours, and seconds are eternal
There is a total, and beyond that, infernal
Mystery that cannot be defined or can be mentioned at all
Now I hear you gently call
Me away from these as a way to mention our place
From as deep as the bowels of the earth to the furthest reaches of space
There are days called sorry, such as a sorry day measured in the same way
I can make mention of every day
Where I lived all of my first field day, many years
Far too many unrequited tears
Until I awoke next to you, our first day complete
When our first order was to vanquish the forces of defeat
Now, I have switched these back and forth and back again
And just when I think I got it correct, you point this out and then
I see the confusion and all I can say is that
From where you and I sat
It really does not matter much
Like if this is the third day yet or is such
To have occurred yesterday, or will happen tomorrow
And I call, as we are sharing visions sometime in the second field day, sorrow
For the loss of the days spent on the first field day as instants and seconds and minutes
Reviewed as a staccato light pattern flicks
Too fast to be worth remembering
While I thought to be alone and able to sing
Away whenever I wanted since I thought myself alone
Day after sorry day, encroaching upon knowledge of the field, our zone
Where we are and are now measuring time and space
Like the first day never mattered in the first place
I can go back and try to fix the statements of time
Such as in the section, see, such a line
Where I mentioned the field first and sleep and awake
As if a day had passed, and I shake
Away the notion since it seems contradictory in its motion
In what position was the sun
Was this a sorry day or a field day
What do you say?
Yet you agree
Thinking it really doesn’t matter to me
This clarification should suffice, the evidence is amount
To suffice for such a count
That references the indication that there is a shift in meaning in relation to the word day
Just ask sometime what I mean and I will say
What was meant
And within this vision, sometime still in the second day, just another standard day ends as I am sent
Into a nap, not a field day dream
When all of reality quivers and I seem
To fall, with you, into another mode of living and loving
All the while song bursting forth as we sing
Another transcendental level achieved
Leaving yesterday, a field day behind, and we grieved
In its passing into the past
And we look at each other again, just as we did on the last
My nap had no dreams, at least not in the vision we cast
You awake me fast
Then knock me down again
Only to sleep full and then
Awake to that wondrous sound, your laugh at the moment we spent before
But to keep speaking of time like this is such a chore
A day is a day, in the same sorry way
Time was measured in our first field day
I awoke then to hear your laughter, sweet and on the mark
With just a hint that we were involved in something kind of dark
On the night before
Another day to play out and score
What we had done and what we are to do
I can almost see you stare into me as you alone knew
What we had in store
But you came across really so sweet I mouthed the word more
And after that laugh, the tell tale chuckle and smirk
I listened, as you became a mouthpiece put into motion, to work
Every sentence like a well constructed building
Your voice reminding me of one that would sing
Almost like candy, like a sweet love like labour
Only wanting to fall upon the floor
I froze at the way you made up for your cute little trick from the night
When you decided you would be the one on the button, just out of sight
But so much closer, since you were inside
All of my being and not being snide
About the fact that I needed you to be there
For in that station, we were on and we were fair
In any case, like the loving woman you are
You pretended to have done wrong and spoke about easing a falsified potential scar
“Going to make this just so nice today”
“Since I pretended to be too stuck up to want to play”
“Physically with you the night before”
“Promise not to get too sore”
“When I make this as embarrassing and obvious to you as I can”
“All I want, in terms of romance, will fit into tonight’s plan”
“We’ll kill your television, and I will lay beside you”
“Even throw on one of our favourite songs too”
“So hang on tight to my hands as I reach them back”
“This isn’t even really a code for you to crack”
Sighing I listen as you leave room for a thousand
Percentile, and then you refuse my demand
Madly, in terms of an emotion I had no right to express
For all I need do is quickly regress
Right, that was for me, and that one too
And that one, and that one, but still, did you have to do
That and almost ruin my perfect selection record
You might as well impale me upon a spear or a sword
Yet before I can launch into a foolish discussion
Suddenly you take a sharp breath, and count down to one
My mind, where has it gone
Melting I conclude that you could never do any wrong
Let alone simply decide to play me another song
Whispering into my ear you tell me to wait for you after, that it wouldn’t be long
Until I’d hear you scratch upon the door
And there we can stutter to each other about love and more
Blank, I hold
No need to be told
Twice and I run outside, fast
Retrieving some visuals to pass the time until we cast
Aside the outside, as the day is too cold to spend anywhere else but
In each others arms, I am out and back fast, unable to withhold my urge to strut
A bit and make stupid comments and demands and speak out loud and without care
Once I returned it was not long before I found you there
Seeing an amplifier and a stage
Wondering how this will sound if either of us decide to put this to page
Counting down the minutes as I asked if you’d giggle for me again
You hold me back, three more and then
I look at you again and when
I’m done doing that I think only of perfection, a ten
And add one to that, more and I still don’t want to stop
But you say enough, and we talk about tomorrow’s hop
We get into our trans warp ship in the middle of a blizzard and scout
While you mark the locations without
Letting me know when you decide to call an audible and turn
Me back, while my stomach starts to churn
Mildly, I speak out
While you tell me there is no need to shout
“Necessarily I cannot find any reason”
“Besides the foolish notion we are involved in some sort of treason”
“Because this has nothing to do with what is right and just”
“Yet I feel that I must”
“Point out on this stormy night”
“Still in field day number two, to keep it all tight”
”That there seems to be a level of stupidity I’ve not encountered in a while”
“Closing quickly upon the last mile”
“Before we get back and we get ready again for tomorrow”
“While I only feel our love expand as it only can grow”
With the weather I am weary and we have a discussion
About the weekend, and we both shun
A nagging worry about fluke stupidity as it surrounds
Just as your ability for making the surreal more real than real, I recollect sounds
You’ve made and faces you’ve shown
Crawling back into bed, should have known
That you might want to hide there with me for just a bit longer
In every passing instant we only get stronger
While I drift off on this future day
Above me you blink again and my knees begin to sway
Allowing maybe a second or two
While I look up to you
Before you snap us into a continuation of this sequence of visions, all connected
To soon become realized in reality instead

[edit line number eighteen]

hazard

18th January 2004, 03:45

Involved in a series of future forecasts there is nothing more to do
But hold on as tightly as I can to you
My eyes clench themselves shut, as into another vision we arrive
So very happy to be pleased and alive
With you so close and only getting closer
It seems, as if it were
At any moment a level of comfort and routine
Became evident, you’d clear it all away and create a new scene
As we’re living this prophesy in the past, that much we can agree
And we tolerate it only until we can finally
Disarm the function that we are forced to endure
We steel our gaze and make our resolve honest and pure
You wake me again, after another fitful night
Blinded by your image and feeling almost right
Tiredly you recall a frail smile that I hold to my heart
Since in all of these visions you have made me a work of your art
Can we ever get even, I can’t hope to compare
My shoddy attempts to keep up won’t ever be as fair
As you tilting my head and laying out courses and plans and events
While we are in the company of our sixth sense
Connection, you call the place and I feel the latent
Wait as all I want to be is no longer complacent
You open a window so that I can see
You again, let me check you in the same way you showed me your knee
You held me and you waited and then when I had to leave
You made sure to remind me of this when you felt I needed to grieve
As when this had happened, back in the first day
I smiled rather softly and said there was no way
That you would have simply, on a basis of chance
Swiveled that seat in a rhythm akin to a dance
Knowing I was bothered that you wore not your hood
I wanted to see what you wore on your legs, and that if you stood
This answer would be certain and I would know
Waiting I waited and then just as I decided to go
You swiveled one last time and leaned against that desk and let
All of me place all of myself on you, and you hold this sure so as I would not forget
How did it happen? How did you know?
How could you know exactly when I decided to go?
I chalked it up and let this feeling grow
What an amazing appendage to so un callously show
In jeans blue, and snug and firm
I decided that you were the one who would let me beg to learn
All that you knew, and all that you could
Until we ran out of these and beheld each other as we should
You let the office clear as I refreshed and I took another look
You were certain to make sure I felt not like a crook
You kept me on for just a minute more
You then let me examine and see you felt sore
Yet for what, I knew not
Too intertwined within us, within our plot
To figure there was something else to interfere with us
Still, your expression made it certain there was to be a bit of a fuss
Sighing I figured we had a job to do
Then you spoke out and let me know true
“Glad we made it like that, I mean made it back, last night”
“Hold onto those hands dear, and please hold them tight”
“You read to me a series of forecasts from years ago”
“Proof that when we fell that it was how we were to know”
“We were right and correct in loving each other”
“I’m calling you father since you call me mother”
“So now I need you to venture out in our fighter, and I’ll be right here”
”Still, we’re on this and through the mountain, please hold back that tear”
“Until we prove the bullet cannot puncture our hide”
“Keep that wrench handy when you return back to our side”
Nodding in agreement and leaping into the vehicle, the fighter
I see you intone an and you’re and then I’m out on the lure
We quiet down and you, with your incredible use of language
Speak of zones and routes and utilization of a badge
And upon the road I take course as we set it the night before
Hearing you breath and keeping it sure
Until my throat parched
Like you made it seem as if it were starched
You say the power is fine, you should know
We still had a long way to go
Just as we did on the night before, in the storm
I stop for a beverage, imagining the way your hair was shorn
Held close and neat, and soft with a twist in
To the contour of your blessed chin
That moved maybe a centimeter when you parted your lips
Possibly gently swinging your hips
Having to stop and wait, just to hear you state
Something concerning exactly what I was doing, my fate
Seems to have you all over me, everywhere I go
Loving every last second of it, in case you wanted to know
Strange that I wonder if maybe were I to not stop on that pause
Whether complete harmony would have made reference to divinities laws
That work well under the compilation that preceded the fix at the night where we stand
Foreseeing our future and just how well all of it works, you give me a hand
Your voice trickles out without a hint of anything
But certainty in the way that it does sing
“Got you covered, my love, my sun”
“This drive will be neat, but not all fun”
“For now, I speak of the beverage that you are about to consume”
“And now about a recall that spans back four years or so under the plume”
“That is the feather within your hat or your pen”
“Be sure to mark all these down and go over them again”
“Screw the explanation I feel boiling inside”
“We’re having some fun, so keep sharp on this drive as a way to bide”
“Until the song gets sequenced, I hunger for you and I’m playing back last night”
“Here it is, now this is going to be very bright”
Ah, that giggle and you play along
Glad I wasn’t at home to feel the rush and ignore every song
In anticipation for any and every word you would pass
I sputtered out my beverage and thought that’s just so crass
But I like it, it’s cool, I laugh along too
And following the song you get onto number two
Excellent, as the engine in our fighter rumbles
Recollecting the day you first played that for me and how my heart tumbles
Unable to hum a bar, a note
Just worried about how it would sound when it was finally wrote
Remembering me, with more conviction than I believed I could muster saying better
And feeling you nod in certainty so sure
That when the song ended and you moved onto the third while I flew
You spoke once more and my heart only grew
While I found a tanker on the sky, on high
Connecting to the nozzle as I only try
To figure how it was a fourth in that series fit
Because you had a subtle way to make sure I bit
Down upon all the highlights and words and sounds made
On the road, and fully paid
“Complaints abound and I need to fire up this defence”
“Of my charming man and how we play, no longer sitting upon a fence”
“Keep track now of the fourth for later within this sequence”
“Number two, not mentioned, clearly for you, and as for the dense”
“Statement concerning elevators I speak of a difference”
“That indicates only that in simple clearance”
“I must, like you, take this side and filter out the interference”
“Knowing that you’re leaning to an open window, a standard stance”
“I cannot help but softly laugh one more time”
“Before you break this apart and see where we made the line”
Into our fighter again
And then
I shake my head in a fitful burst
That hunger, like a thirst
Through four times and then I look to you
Hysterically intelligent in the procedure that you let me know that you knew
Might have blushed if you were there
However, we are on the job so we could be cool and fair
That laugh, that sound, the repeat and rewind
While you knew it would not take long for me to find
That gentle gasp and the shock of realization
Entering into our recollection at subtle elation
That sort of wicked sense that you knew what was going on
Listening as we quietly exchanged different notes to the same song
That stance, the stage, the fee and the shoulder
I shudder in anticipation of getting any bolder
Along we go and you throw out the fifty fifty
Like the day before, when song two was played in the sequence, sort of nifty
One option like the way we were on the ride
Closing ever faster to you and out side of our side
Something concerning the alternate to the brain
A world to be conquered under the guise and strain
Of toasters burning tails and scent
The same thing we did until reality bent
Itself into our world at last
Another story within our past
And on the other option, such an old sound
When early in the morning of the second day we found
That I was just too cranky to do anything but sigh
My grief and sputter out why
Early on that morning, and then it went live
Still uncertain if we could even survive
Firmly I call that with the reason of science
We have transcended this and made clear our every sense
You have no trouble hitting that one right
Clearing the zone of all fright
Catching my breath as we intone we’re being quiet
As upon the roadway there is a chance that there may be a riot
Already we must detour and you are on it like lightning
As always, aware, I can hear you sing
When you find a way to make sure that we can play
Upon the will of fate, our vehicle did sway
On the very same road, instead of an intersect past
Meaningful in that our will did cast
And allow for every nuance on that channel when our fighter did enter
To hit like a chord in fate, in all of realities center
Time winds down and we are sure that silence will be soon
However, I think I’ll be strong enough to carry on with the mission and not swoon
Until at last I arrive back at our base
So I can open up and show you how our case
Appears, if I have gathered more proof
That our love is strong and world bending and light and aloof
I hear you set up a line that hits low and clear
Until you point out the lure and make sure that I wear
Only our mission status indication and make true to our name
Is heralded as my voice does strain
When you punch up my response, rather than have me sit and keep it in
I float about and start only when you need me to begin
“A notion as hinged as that one is upon”
“Gendering profit can only be wrong”
“How much is necessary, how much is needed?”
“When all along we have both pleaded”
“About the super saturation of a fattened herd”
“Needing only an excess so as to keep them dumb and absurd”
“Speak now I do of waiting, like we both are so patiently”
“Regardless of anything else and in any other way that it might be”
“Now I pause as you make a suggestion”
“Strange how you make it clear it was you again”
I straighten my hips and continue on for some more kilometers
Listening as you mention about time and striking up spurs
You make the claim of maintaining silence
Fading into me deeper and into the whence
Where we were first stated as being yes, we are
Like a bad girl and a boy in his car
I feel the transitional instant expand
And want to reach to you, but you make a momentary demand
That peace be made, and I can only hold back
Until you return to comfort me and we get back to our hack
Returning to a series of paintings on a wall
I smile again at your hungry call
While the sounds of the black hole in the distance fade
We gently hold each other, somehow, and laugh as we remember getting paid
For the first time, and every time since
Keeping ourselves cool and not even trying to wince
I exit the fighter and rush in and retrieve
A moment spent exercising luck, though it exists outside of all I believe
You exert a strong dose of common sense, hard and clear
Drawing my back to our fighter so I can find a way to hold back another tear
Amazingly, in this vision, we recollect the instant when you called down from above
And in doing that I was seared by our love
Although it only occured, in the present, moments before
An act of beauty and love I'd never encountered, so clear and so sure
I held my gaze steady and saw it turn strong
Belting out the words of the song
Saying who you are, who you called me
Looking into you, all I could see
Then, as your mental image gave way
Upon the road a building did seem to sway
In key and in tune with the song
Dear God, this could never be wrong
At last, the dark road ends and I am back closer to you
Driving cool and straight on through
You smile and ask me to say hello
And I certainly do, as you know
That when you make a sensible request
As you do know most of the time what is best
I will not hesitate, but still very shy I sort of hide in our fighter after I make this note
Listed here on yet another page I wrote
Of us on this jaunt across a vast portion of our field, familiar and fact filled
We simmer down as I intersect that road where we chilled
For maybe ten minute, maybe more
Should have shouted something about you and our chore
Still, I heard the beep and made it ring
Trying hard to keep on cue while I sing
It out loud and only to you
And mention every little thing you do
For me on behalf of us, all of us there
Loving how you are with me absolutely everywhere
Concluding very fast at your beautiful art
Sighing and knowing I’d have to go through it again from the start
But knowing you won’t let me break apart
Since we can never do it again, so we hush up and feel the beating of our heart
No worse than when it was that I left, back to the base and tired
Laid down to rest my head
While in the present, you blink one more time
Holding up your hand and giving me a sign
That indicates we are almost caught up, and the sequence will be on track
Playfully hinting at another smile that would crack
Us up if we were to stop and examine what was meant
Every line made and every statement
Who was who and what each thing meant, where all the time went
But for now I prepare to be into another prophetic vision sent

hazard

18th January 2004, 07:23

Joy, see that this is felt on every line as they are laid here
While I am on the floor and you are near
Last time you blink
With a subtle expression, a nod, and a wink
We are together in bed
As it is, instead
Of this time where we stand and we make
Sure that the earth will quake
Upon our departure, our union, our need
To make perfect the statement of every last creed
That has been devised and thought by either one of us, ever
Recanting upon these, never
Warm on the indication we made all of that weekend
Into the nether reaches you quickly send
You and myself sit there
Round and beautiful, so fun and fair
Your eyes, as deep and blue as the depths of the ocean
Like the sky on a mild day, just beside the sun
They penetrate; they pierce and calm my aching soul
Looking into them does so console
When on our bed I roll over and we lay, face to face
Inches separating the vacant space
Into these I try not to shy away
While all along you welcome me there to stay
For a second longer, maybe more
Until I can only grow weary, sore
And must pull away for a second, and back and then
We do it all over again
Your pupils as dark as the ageless pit
Where I fell from and you caught me, full, I fit
There with you just so well
My heart, ours, does so quickly swell
That’s its pace, its feeling, its source
Rapidly wants to resume and stay on course
You pull a pause and I am forced to turn
Away for a second and let you let me burn
While you disagree, in jest
I laugh at how hilarious that sounds; must either of us mention the best?
High technology and speakers alternating
Lyrically in repetition as empty and absent of contemplating
As anything either of us have ever heard
So I jump back beside you to forget this absurd
Ploy of a worthless example of stupidity employed
Methinks you may have somehow enjoyed
The way we both shot out at that
So, all done, we resume and ignore such that would be better off begat
While we lay and we wonder at the world and as it washes
Away another decay filled existence full of ashes
Leaving it all behind
Only there, together do we find
Solitude and peace and strength and shore
Then we agree and decide to score
Vanilla, plain and as simple as we can make this
I hold on steady while you slowly kiss
Me with every subtle indication you could make
Here’s how I remember them, and for the sake
Of our license you must agree that however phrased
Your execution made me as easily dazed
As any sound you define and shape
While against your hip I feel the silken cape
Draped against your skin as we feel the fabric
That is reality disappear in our mind, our trip
“Here I am again to save us both from the world outside”
“I whispered this word last night and made it sound snide”
“Enough to have the effect we both desired”
“Fun enough and no need to make any of this seem conspired”
“Now I joke and pretend to have no need to continue”
“Knowing you might make a startled shout out too”
“Nay, I’m joking, lets go on for a little longer”
“My innuendo as sharp and you know I’m stronger”
“When I got you like this”
“Now don’t be too shy when I bury you with such a kiss”
There you go, and I cannot hope to stop when you decide to play this way
I swoon, I laugh, I am hopelessly lost when under your sway
Full and on and on and over again
We take a break once more when
Our dichotomy of the alternation upon the this and that is needed
If only to clear the air and finish up instead
A little longer, and you know we can finish fast
You smile softly and say you have this down to the last
Minute planned, I nod, I know, and want to think
That in your eyes I can only sink
Into oblivion, and be in heaven forever
There instead of momentary instants where I fear we may never
Get back again we are done so I vacate the process and simply allow
You to let it happen, now
You say another word and I see your lips curl up and full
You make a comparison and then down with the wool
You say it soft and you say it sure
Until we must part for a day or more
The knowledge closes and I am only living still because I’m sure while I swoon
That you will be back soon
We agree about discussions made
And that we really got this down because we played
As cute and cool as we always do
Stating that we both love each other, too
So you say bye
While I say nothing but think nice try
You laugh a little more and then you’re gone
Only to be back seconds later as you sing a song
Deciding not to leave at all
Just to be coy and pretend to stall
Overhead, in the present, our visions done
My next step follows another one
Stopping just beneath your gaze, the sky expands within our fort
Flooding the air with just the sort
Of tranquility I expect from you, my love
You watching me from high above
I turn as you begin to speak
In that angelic voice you learnt while we lay beside heaven’s creek
“God, I know there is nowhere else you’d rather be”
“Than here, right now, just you and me”
“But I’ll pretend that the visions we shared”
“Are in any way worthy of being compared”
“To how we are and how we are doing right now”
“But I’ll slur my tongue, and make a joke for us, if you’ll allow”
“Just a moment for you to get the punch line”
“And continue on about this and make a sign”
“Into your head, what do you make of that one then?”
“Here I agree, I’m just like you, and all is well again”
With my back I slink into a corner on the floor
Wanting to laugh until my sides get sore
But I maintain composure and pretend I did not share those visions
That kept cohesion like a movie runs
Buzzing about and around we must exchange
Positions again, and in my hide out you calm and ease off of the derange
That occurs when we see our future
You look at me, into me, and are so sure
That though I say nothing, and seem to cower away
My actions indicate that I am trying to say
What you agree to, like it had been said
Saying that you love me too, instead
Of me saying that I love you and then you return
You avoid watching me squirm
Beat me to the punch and make the pull
I freeze and know I can never be full
Of this, of you, your thoughts, your will, your love, your way
Craving only the strength to say
This and walk across the air and hold
Us there, the strength to be so bold
As to move past this and into the next field day
But then I recall all that we can do like this, so I sway
For a moment in response to this option, void
Relaxing like you told me to so long ago, I have enjoyed
It all and only want it never to stop or to end
So you shush me up and only give cause to mend
The drive of time and let us stay
Calm and cool until the next day

hazard

21st January 2004, 03:01

allright, the site is back up

here is ALP # 47, aka J2

just so that all of those waiting for it who were forced to wait can read it at last

hazard

21st January 2004, 03:13

Just as I think we can brush past this encounter
We go over it once more to make sure
It is down and we are tight
Right before me, in my sight
You dig and I shrug and we laugh and we agree
Our need overwhelms the victimless plea
That I am alone and I am afraid and there is nothing here
All of this dissolving into an inescapable fear
Overhead you know me well
You call me a spade and then you tell
The entire field as loud as you can
That you are just like me, your loving man
Who would not stop for a second to consider anything you’d ask me to do
Leaving out dark suggestions birthed from the nether realms of blackened hue
Exactly like this you understand
You have seen me from across the field, across all the land
While I was still blind, still asleep
Wandering aimlessly and seemingly by sheer stupidity landing in your arms like a heap
Of aimless, pointless chaos
To be put to use to nobody’s loss
Until you open my eyes and have me see
That you are the only one for me
You saw, you selected, you made it clear
You held me softly and wiped away the tear
You had me then, you have me still
You will always have me, you always will
Disbelief and doubt so deep that I can only derange
Unable to contemplate a notion so strange
That you could love me, that you would never leave
That you would do anything to make me believe
Until belief alone becomes such a fact
Certainty descends at the counteract
Folding in and duplicating again
We repeat this scenario again, and then
Start we shall from the earliest phase of our
Second long day on our field of far
Too blinded by your love and your affection
Terrified I became at returning to you for inspection
Your features bright and kind and warm, smart and secure and sure and seductive
My vision begs you to forgive
Me for stumbling my way into you
Perfection embodied, in sound and shape and do
I strike this note here right?
Offering to you my sight
Since I have never encountered such an angelic specimen anywhere
My mind vacates if I see you there
As I see you now, upon the perch while I am in the crevice
Lofty and on the level yet not so far as to avoid such bliss
That I speak of now, as it is happening
You look to me with an expression that does sing
Nothing else but firm resolve and dire proof
To share with me our hidden truth
Into me as you find this way
Saying words that only seem to say
That although I am humbled and unable to compare
You know that in my words as written fair
There is more than an option to find and divulge
That in its manifestation like a clearly spaken bulge
Of words, timed and sequenced and spaced, certain
That I love you, I say it and then
We are here and I see you say
It also, as if you had a way
To read this now, as it happened on the spot
Considering the visions we’ve shared this is the most obvious plot
Making more sense than anything else, any other probability
You simply introverted and divined the future, just another aspect of you, your ability
Your words as they are spoken clear the air
While I almost pretend, before these, not to care
You pull my vision to you and make me stare
Into your eyes as you speak these words so fair
“Soften my tone now, just to keep this true and me”
“Nobody else can really even hear or see”
“Who I am or what I mean”
“Or that I am here in response to answer every dream”
“You ever had or ever wanted, everything at once, and even more”
“As if I went through all your life and checked the score”
“Better than all of these and following your guide”
“Always together and always on side”
“Now for the money, silent and honest, sure and true”
“Yes, my dear, I love you too”
Holding me steady and still on a physical connect
I softly sigh and feel all the respect
I’ve ever felt for you, the love of my life
Into you I see my best friend, children’s mother and loving wife
Because this is what you want me to see
There is nothing else that matter’s more to me
Still our eye’s our locked and we cannot look away
My mind cannot draft a single thought to say
Any of these idea’s to you
And I know this is not what you’d expect me to do
Anyway, so we transcend and you look away at last
Allowing only time for the effect to set in, not too fast
Far too much to understand all at once
You show me eternity in a span of seconds, since
That was all we could afford to spend
All of everything we are, we could every be, we lend
All at once and for all time
All together and the surest sign
All for love, what else is there?
In that moment I consider this and can only stare
Back at you as you mull around
Silently inflective as neither of us make a sound
There I see you, there you are
As we return from a vision of the future, far
Though this may be, we are both still here
Neither of us too distant; oh so near
I can almost feel your breath across the open floor
Within our castle as we both crave more
Being the novice that I am
I stretch out to you and inflect, as you know I can
You glance to me as you see me try
Together we are on this as together we sigh
In a trance like stupor inspired by our love
A future vision transcends down from above
I speak it out to you so you can decipher and crack
The words that fell as if they might lack
Such clarity and certainty with which you see
Everything and every action I take, as you watch me
Speak out and we need to fight
Once more to keep our connection tight
“Spending a series of standard day’s in rest”
“Once again we are put to the test”
“Nothing new and nothing unstoppable”
“We have been through so much worse and are more than capable”
“To stem the structure as you hint that I must redirect”
“Only to allow you the option to clearly inspect”
“Our words and break them into lines of sense and call them clear”
“I see us dry and shouting out so loud that the field must hear”
“Interference was sighted and we put up the shield to clear it”
“Working from there to inspect a handle and avoid a fit”
You glance again and nod, all the sequences foreseen
Amping up to make this one clean
The second sight you share with me
Provides the details to that which we already foresee
You strike up again and move your mouth so sharp
It sounds like strings being plucked upon a harp
“On this day we will flip it over and seek the quest”
“We’ll call it, I don’t know, a hard love test”
“Speed so unavoidable, quick and furious”
“Filling in words to satiate your need to still be curious”
“Then, I hold you back and let you rest and lay”
“Opening your eyes only when I have words to say”
“A shield I place over you as I rage, or seem to”
“Then I place some doubt to see how well you knew”
“Only to strike you hard on the wake up line”
“I hear you breathing, every breath is mine”
Agreeing on how we will make the morrow
A no option selection so we could both know
Where the importance lay
Upon the truth or upon the play
And across the gap you wait for me to blink
And so I do this and stop for a moment to think
So long it seems and so far we’ve gone
Still you seem to be not so long
In the wait that I cannot stall with you for another minute here
Only to rise to my feet and walk to the ledge of the crevice and begin to sear
Along with you, soon, as I transit in that second before I rise
Uncertain only in the size
That measures the temporal duration
Between sweet bliss and contemplation
You know the way we can get it going fast
Simply set sail our flag upon the only mast
Within our land, the field, to be seen from all around
Not even inflecting a simple sound
Conversing then of when, of how
I almost stomp my foot and shout I need all of you, now
Somehow, though we both agree
We cannot force fate and here we see
That perhaps there is not as much of a hurry
When so many details still remain so blurry
At last you nudge me to my toes
As if you were to push me gently with your nose
Where its crown meets your forehead
To have that press me would be worth all of this instead
Of all the moments I spent in doubt
Looking here and there without
Even trying to find you clear
So slowly waiting for you to shift the gear
All to get as close as this, and near
Wouldn’t change a thing, not one
In disbelief I still wonder how this isn’t done
After all the shouts and all the fights, and attempts and ploys and secret modes
Running for ages upon all of our fields roads
This long and you promise me so much longer I cannot imagine
To my feet I rise and here we know we are still at the very start, where we begin
And like the softest, sweetest, angel
I hear you say to me to cherish them all and my heart does swell
No need to run ahead full steam
Calmly I wonder if this is itself a dream
You shake your head and I know its not
You have simply been everything for which I’ve ever sought
Into position we stay upon the level high
And together we let out a relief filled sigh

hazard

21st January 2004, 06:55

Joined for the moment as across the opening we wait
So certain only in the constant movement that we call fate
You ask me silently to voice your request
For fun, for fact, for joy, for fest
I wonder what it is and you blow me another soft kiss
Speaking into me so I won’t miss
“Very carefully, as we wouldn’t stop for long”
“Could you please sing me softly a quiet song”
“Just for you and me, this time, so it couldn’t be stolen”
“We’ll keep it quiet and just for us and then”
“You can forget about it and tell me a story”
“About how we can rush past all of this and ascend into glory”
“I’m thinking about your oldest tale”
“When we were young and oh so frail”
“Before you knew who I was, only that I be”
“Someone, somewhere, in a field that you did not yet see”
So meek and sweet you sound I dare not try
To bring this circle into words that do comply
With what you want, and though I think it matters not
You seem to think it matters a lot
I do not shrug, I do not hesitate
I only worry if I would ever be too late
To be there when you are in that need
Wherever else we might be, I would rush on over to take the lead
Your slightest sound, your voice, and when you sahpe your words and sing
An answer I issue as across the gap we wait for an opening
“Between the sounds that echo within our castle keep”
“I will attempt to make these words not so steep”
“So as to not be able to bridge from our minds to here”
“Only waiting for you to kick us up into another gear”
“An old tale from somewhere within the first long day?”
“I wonder if it has been stolen yet, or if we can stay”
“With it then and bridge it to now”
“My heart does not stutter, and if you allow”
“I will ask you to journey with me”
“Into our mind to look and see”
Almost rolling your eyes and pretending not to want
You rush to me so fast the speed does haunt
My brain disappears as you enter full
Then you remind me of what you want, and so I pull
Myself together long enough to gather enough will
Only to construct this tale properly, as it still
Holds too many eerie coincidental factors
From the sands of time to the rocky shores
Where I have an image frozen of you as you wait and point at
Yourself, your smile, your shirt and hat
A long way to go from that standard day
No talking then, all action, and so I say
“Strange as this seems now”
“This is fulfillment of all, as you do allow”
“Me to make this connection through and true through only”
“You, I shake my head no, but I must answer your plea”
“Without you there is nothing left and I will only waste”
“Like a fattened bird set to sit in an oven and slowly baste”
“To page one I turn and am in defence of my room”
“Not too tidy, yet where it is I eat and groom”
“You are a thought, and I have no idea, and so I turn onto page four or five”
“Speaking of a past that I had no idea how I did survive”
In our mind you rest upon my shoulder
We grow in comfort as we see these stories pure
From my youth we are apart
And I am wounded from the start
You clutch my hand and hold it hard
Hushing me from any pain that might shard
To break the rhythm we’re rising into
Reminding me of what you had to do
When systematically you broke all of these
Leaving nothing left but you, if you do please
Starting here and I began constructing my ideal, you
Still I wonder how exactly you really knew
Did you already read and take some notes down
While I wonder whether I should wear a frown
Or smile, since you did for the right reason and you know I’d pay any price
Over once and again, thrice
If only to tell me how appreciative I am for what you did for us then
Sulking since I loved it all and would do it all again
To be with you, across the gap, speaking in our minds of this
Certainty envisioned so brightly it cannot miss
You look to me so sharp that I cannot help but wince
And you interject and site this reason, since
“Now I know you weep at the loss of the transitional instant”
“And launch into a never ending rant”
”Upon the constant theft and replication of irritation”
“All for the purpose of disrupting all of our elation”
“Every time we make a statement or call something ours”
“The field descends and like locusts steal; it never bars”
“Long enough to consider the event, you must remember”
“That while you were wounded, by me no less, I held your hand and held you sure”
“While you howled out how and pleaded to all creation how you wanted to go back”
”That I looked at you like this and said there was no way, we were on the exact right track”
Reassured I continued on
Knowing you were here, more so now than ever before, and not wrong
In this statement as you made it then
Reminding me of it now, again
Awakening for a second to see you across the gap, this thought in mind
A certain statement for us to find
Into our story again
You beat back the first and then
I journeyed far and wide
Knowing you were there, just not yet directly at my side
I called you my wife then, not knowing who you were
Only doing so in that I was somehow sure
That one day my journey would end
And all of reality would stop to mend
Itself at our reunion when it did at last occur
So young I was then, like you, and just so sure
We spoke like we do now
As you, the urge to my movement, the only I would ever allow
To hold my heart and hold my mind, my body
All of me, no matter how shoddy
Or out of shape it might get
In this tale we separated, as we were on the first day, yet
There was a reason for this treason as it had to occur just
Like this, just as it must
I wandered, like the marching man, in another tale
Read this to you I did when we were so new on the second day, so very frail
Yet so convinced I was that it was you
I ran out of things to say or do
And so I wandered and could not explain how our land, our field, had come
To such a decrepit state, so undone
That through my eyes it bled deception, and grief
So much exploitation and abuse I lost all of my belief
In truth, in love, and in the prospect that anyone could ever understand me
I wanted to only lay down my arms and plunge myself into the sea
Of despair and loss, sell out all of it and care not for a moment
Never wondering where all of my hope went
But not able to consider this action
You drew me forward to fight the opposite faction
For I could not stop my lengthy march
Though my clothes grew loose and lacked any starch
I encountered an enemy, an adversary who held
Our position, and whom I beheld
Represented all that we were borne to counter and fight
So easily though, I turned the enemy away from our lands sight
And the last leg approached, and knew where you’d be
Not missing a beat we were able to finally see
All as it should be seen
Like when we share a laugh, a moment, a sigh or a soft dream
Together at last, we became
Free from the constant strain
That pulls and picks and prods and pricks
Wounds that bleed from constant nicks
Healed, we join full and at last
Spinning words aloud as they are cast
In tandem, like we do so now
Like I knew we would then, and I allow
Only a moment here to eradicate doubt
With a sharp and quick and silent shout
For in fabrication through invasion of my dreams and journals
To lay out in the public light like a series of annals
Synthetic in its discourse and in its application
In use of a purpose that could only lead to complete sedation
Still would mean the exact same thing
As if we were, by cosmic fate, divine intervention and nature’s constant hymn that would sing
Of us and whisper its truth to me from the past
Down to every last nuance, every last
As love itself is proven by design in intent
Or design in an overture, just as it must have went
Anyway, as all things are fixed like this
How I still crave to feel our first full kiss
As you part your mouth for just a bit and hold
Your tongue, awaiting mine, when you become so bold
So as to allow me there
Since that is exactly where
My mouth was made to find its home, between your lips
Just as my hand wants to be placed upon your hips
All of my body quakes and wants to come home at last
If only to not get there so fast
So as to forget how long it took to get there
While I feel you press my hand against your head to stroke your hair
Across the gap we finish up now
I pause only to wipe the sweat from off my brow
And I see you look across
Telling me to hold again, there is no need to risk any loss
Of all of these wonderful moments we spend like this
We can fight off all intrusion, if only not to miss
Any and every avenue we can explore like this, right now
So I lean upon the crevice and mumble something like wow
You’ve answered every single prayer I’ve ever held close and secret
You’ve been there to love and play along with every let
You’ve read all of my memories and played out all of my darkest fears
You’ve held my hand and consoled me when I was forced to tears
To an ostensive, so early I almost cannot keep the memory clear
Wondering and working one of our secrets, my darkest fear
When you jumped in and made sure that you had to let me know
How far you and me were going to get to go
The rest of it, as long as we were on this field like so
So long ago
Even then you very clearly would show
Me exactly what I needed to know
And as with time, the field would collapse upon us when the winds would blow
Both of us in directions strange, your words would flow
Reassurance, plain and simple and directly to me
Just as we began to do this everyday for all of the field to see
While across the way I see you hold the device
To make your voice sound louder, though still just as nice
As it sounded the very first time you spoke to me
How quickly it was I fell to my knee
Offering all to you
Since I seemed, just as you, to know, like you knew
Still waiting I am for your story like in that tale from the past
You wanted me to tell you, and though this not be the last
It is the one where we are both like we are right now
Divinity has granted us this, and does allow
At least this much to be certain in the movement of prime
All according to fate’s design

[edit line 205 (missing character necessary to maintain rhyme)]

hazard

22nd January 2004, 03:43

Jumbled together in a sequence that has no absolute value
Across the gap, still, you want to hold for a few
More moments in an all time splendor
I hear you whisper again, and I am pleased to offer more
As I had thought you had taxed me beyond all I was capable of
You inspire me with the merest hint of a fraction of a thought, less than a shove
Since it is nowhere even near a push
You quiet my mind for a moment with a gentle shush
Into my mind, you want to meet again and allow
Me, for a change, though it seems strange, to play something for you here and now
Not knowing what I should speak of then
An offered suggestion is given again
“When we resurfaced just an instant ago I felt”
“As if we were both given an unfair hand, as it was dealt”
“From a deck so stacked that neither of us had a chance”
”To even contemplate another reason or need to dance”
“So please tell me another story, another secret of you and me”
“We’ll play it together in our mind and if we can, in reality”
“First, as I am simply insisting that there is need for more than”
“A recollection of one of your text’s written as a plan”
“I want this as it was written and as it fits now, right here”
“And when you’re through I need another, remember; I already gave you that cheer”
With that we dive into our mind once more
Its collective resources unmeasured and never hurt or sore
So we recollect the tale, drafted well within our first field day
When we first met and I knew you existed, though I knew not that there was a way
To bring this from the rhyme into reality
Though it be a simple life, a standard plea
Somehow I never thought I’d find you, the one for me
Your features were left blank, for I could not see
Yet it was your wit and mind, and discourse that made it clear once this started happening
From the way you bantered with your mind and could clearly sing
With every sound you made, it was your thing
As it was when we interacted, as always, and is always our thing
This first interlude ended and we lay in each others arms
No longer afraid of each others charms
And I had to ask and you had to let me hear
All that you had known from the earliest days in the first standard year
When begin I did to search for us, for you
Whether you already knew
Or if you, like me, had to
Work your way to the end of the first day too
Never knowing what was to happen, or what had occurred
Whether the second day would encompass all of our lives or if there would be a third
Would this template dissolve like all of the others since
Such as the percentile account, three tier check and countdown, such an understanding that I wince
When either you remind me or I am reminded
In your gold team playbook that needed to be binded
Exactly as I had to retrieve all of the pages that form the first account
Our first poem together that I had to put to an end in your absence and multiply the amount
Of my ink defined pages
Searching through them now we are like mystic sages
You’ve asked me to ignore the classified docs
Since it makes reference to visual referents, allies, you specifically, and it locks
So neatly that it was explored in the phase we call gray
Between black and white and still needing to understand this is the way
Now, just before I began the first chapter of this, our conscious account
Before our red book, after the Beyonder’s fall there is one that refers to a mount
Like the one man, needing his one woman, as I was still on the quest
Late in the first day, as you loomed so close, itching I was to test
All of my worth, all of what I am and what I could be
That I would have to sacrifice if you were to set me free
As I was upon the second day
In a purple bound loose leaf are all the words I used to say
That I was here and preparing the way for you, my love
Though who you are in here is unclear, you are at least the one far above
An angel, my guardian, my motivational factor and drive
Imageless, but perfect, my reason for staying alive
In that world, as it was, as I marched every day to control
Only to march back with only less and less console
And every day, in their sorry sense, our first story began to fade
And every march turned slowly into a guerrilla raid
And every footstep gathered the forces of the field to our side
And every moment I went into the past and tried to find you, who would turn the tide
Until, at last, our tree was placed under attack
You called forth, with me, all of our soldiers and put to sack
Metallic beasts that spit forth fume and oil
Not for the riches of war or their spoil
Their drivers who forgot their source
Their home and purpose and love, of course
To protect our tree, our home, our love, everything
You, I called you Ariel, and you fired arrows from above as you began to sing
While I called forth all of the allies we’d need
Then, as you stressed a point, another who may lead
Us astray, and here you interject as you spoke upon the current day
Within this dream weave, your voice from a vision within you say
“Both of us are timid, or so I am as you are”
“We are reminded both of the dawning of our second day and our most recent scar”
“Though we have nothing to fear from each other, still”
“Soft I will be until”
“Pass this we can and get something together, fast and sharp”
“You mentioned five, and to each I pluck my harp”
“Now I state more clearly than I have in a while this one, as you claimed redemption”
“Could not be achieved and I forgave you, my sun”
“Yet here I draft a comparative to make sure this can be cleared at once, at last”
“Don’t slow up, we must clear this one fast”
Strange though this is, there is a reference to off of this purple page
When with my five stringed armament I strummed with some rage
On the lyrical construction, clear, I said two words
One was a name, not yours, following a first conjunctive, the, then another two, like birds
Also following such a connective, another name, a code
Just like Ariel, though a code for whom, I know not, a value to load
And then this code, from this song, is placed into the tale
Of me, the marching man, and you, overhead and anything but frail
Introduced then is this flower, this promise, anything but stale
Clearly this was you, and your cover was there but pale
Do any of these words sound now as I recollect them
Like I did when
Early in the second day you gave me a reading exercise
If only to quickly cut me back down to size
What did it matter? What was it worth?
Was this before or after you announced that you planned our first birth?
This promise, like in the song
When did I first begin to get this wrong?
Ariel became the Lotus, as together, in another song that sang
Words that they were in combat though the chords never rang
True enough to hold any extra value
Except who you really were, then I never knew
That it was you, in your armour, my wife like in the first tale waiting
Like Ariel, from above, stating
Your commands until you took a form human, like me
Just so that my senses could see
You were here and fulfilling every last written word
Regardless of who else would read this or find any of it absurd
Across the gap, I see as both of these, like hemispheres
Of yourself, I cannot count how many years
I read upon your face, your hands or your neck
How many more if we were somehow able to check
When we began on this march, and when it would end
What our tree would write down and how it would send
This message to us and what it would mean
Whether I would have to awake and curse existence for another bitterly cruel dream
Why, no, a question I should not ask
When it is you nudge me into completing this task
As you seemed to think it silly early in our second field day
Long before I could not help but allow you to let my knees sway
You called forth our army, and then came to me
Pretending to be someone I’d know when I’d see
Such an entity
Upon site, so I would not run away as fast as could be
Recalling my reaction when I first saw your face and knew it was you
How I laugh at what you had to do
To make sure I’d stay there
Showing me so many ways and so many more that you care
I can still hear you say what if it’s just me
As I began shaking my head so slowly and firmly
Spotting a chest of drawers, and remembering the first day clear
Regardless of whether or not it would draw a tear
Leafing through all the pages and finding you donning armour
While I metamorph into your sky ride, like a mystical creature from ancient lore
As your Ariel role fades you grow into my plead
Scoring the hits as you point me at targets, your lead
Is always on the angle best suited to attack
While this book I refuse to place into other hands to hack
It into pieces and try to find our place
Be it within the depths of the field or in the vastness of space
You, as the voice, the guide and the will
As I hear you most often and can never seem to have my fill
Of your original position within our first field day, awaiting your rescue
In the amazing manner that really spells only you
You, as the vessel, the body and person
Knowing how we met in reality, and why I do shun
Myself and want to find my way to you fast, and as fast as I can
But being your ride I must succumb to your will and plan
You, as you are, in my mind
Urging me to find these pieces and piece them together while we find
More and many, too many other ways
To measure our drawing within the first field day and all of its standard days
You, as you are across the opening
I, in the crevice, and you, on the perch awaiting to sing
Forth in just a moment in words, intonations and statements
Working through every last measure of every last sense
We have available for our use
Used just as in both of our first day tales to fight off constant abuse
Without blinking
Without thinking
We allow this to phase for the instant it takes
Nodding only mildly while we see vast lakes
Filled with all the grief that had accumulated up until that point, at last
Completing this first urge to begin the second, and fast

hazard

22nd January 2004, 09:22

Juxtaposed as we are, I in the crevice with you in the perch
My legs grow weak, suddenly, for an instant, and forward I lurch
Catching myself fast, knowing you desire another mind connect
Still not blinking, or thinking, I only feel that there is no way I cannot respect
You as you are still inside, still on full and sure
You make this one an account never recorded before
As it is still reference to the journal in the shade of forgiveness
While I do this and fend off the urge to regress
You state your wish to draw this together
You use words that will be with us forever
“Albright, this one’s been put off for long enough”
“Remember when you were all uptight and feeling gruff”
“About a promise I made, and that you thought I didn’t keep”
“So you drove all the way to bed and made not a peep”
“Until you shut the door and I told you anytime”
“Since then its been like this, and we’ve been better than fine”
“Tell me about this, and tell me the truth”
“I’m right there with you so ignore your digress into proof”
“Regarding angles and alternates and prophesy fulfillment”
“Explain to me, once more, how I am heaven sent”
At a loss for words, as usual, at first
I remember only that I took this event as it seemed it could be the worst
Case scenario, as on this evening measured in a standard manner
We spent a standard week, in preparation, just to be sure
That we would both be at the same place at the same time
Measuring our arrival somewhere around nine
About myself I look, and cannot tell when exactly this is within the second field day
The location and the sounds, sights, and words that you began to say
Early in the afternoon as we both prepared
Strange how nothing else like this ever really compared
Nothing else ever really could
Not like anything else ever really should
I knew what you looked like, at least for the most part
Figured you’d be the one who gave my heart the hardest start
Just in case you were to be in some sort of disguise
Thought that night we’d be playing spies
In the journal of purple, there was the reminder that
Perhaps I might be twisted to confuse where you alternated on a note, flat
The this is the that, or, the this, the that, or, as you said and tried to modify
That you were called by a name, then in a strange try
To insert another word to change the entire structure
And I stomped and I shouted, and I shouted don’t be so sure
So we worked it through and over and through again
Until at last I thought it was unforgivable then
Hearing you ask, almost out of breath, why I couldn’t just let you make it better
I rolled over and said it didn’t really matter
And it never really did
Still, at this early point in the second day, it took only a small smile to rid
Me of all of that anxiety all at once and at last
Tossing a line out far too fast
To consider what it meant and how it could never apply
Such an idiotic notion I only can sigh
When I see you across the field and I need to find out
Whether I should cry murder or simply start to pout
What name you would wear, like a disguise to be worn
Would your hair be beneath something or sharp and shorn
Forced to run off course, as your words caused me to panic
Control measures emplaced as I started to feel sick
You made a promise and the least I could do
Was attempt to wear some sort of disguise too
A hat and a t-shirt later and all was well
Supposing that was something, and if you could tell
That when I saw a frozen image of like kind
The timing was strange, but the garb was not unkind
Once more, the shift upon the value you attempted to call yourself like
Though I agreed upon new, and allowed this little psyche
Out move to be played out to the maximum
As usual, based on the hardest thing you ever told me, I had to stay dumb
Thought you stressed it to me that night as well
While I closed the distance and my heart began to swell
I exited our tank, as I had to plow through buildings and paths I didn’t know there
Until at last, somehow, the destination was at last where
It was, and I had no idea how I arrived
Only certain that the fun part is over, I only strived
This far to get where I was and hold for a minute and sip at a beverage
When out of nowhere you flexed your cerebral leverage
Your mind’s voice echoed from well across the street
At first I though it was sort of neat
Then you started to make me blush as you tricked out this treat
Hearing you clearly between the rhythm, the rock and the beat
“There you are, now you’re just within reach”
“Seems like you’re the one who washed up upon my beach”
“Don’t mind if I chew your ears out”
“That’s me, like you love me, using a fraction of my siren shout”
“Told you on a night like this I was going to get a little wild”
“Meaning just like this, no chance at being mild”
“Soon you will enter, and then we can start”
“While you search far and wide for me, a stunning work of art”
“I’ll keep you company while you walk up and into”
“Then we’ll see what we can do”
With that I enter and immediately I remember a dream
I had long ago on the first day, as if I saw this scene
We agreed it reminded us of where exactly we are
Standing together, across the crevice, but not so far
We spoke still for some time, while I rose to my feet
Checking my posture and trying to look sort of neat
Though that might have been you as I looked to the stage
No, just an object you projected yourself upon kind of strange
Until, somehow, at last, I gave up and thought you were there with me only in spirit
Having to chase away notions that you tricked and I bit
We had talked, and I knew you saw me
Promising only this, or was it the other way around? Something firmly
Kept me there for as long as I could stay
Not knowing where you went, I wanted to find a way to say
Something and look into your eyes and stay there for a while
Until an acknowledgement proclaimed that we had worked at this for another mile
And recognition at last
Proven just as from the pages drawn from the past
Fulfillment complete, and there was more to make clear
How many times did you brush past me while I stuck to my only beer
All the field seemed to at once agree
That it was the two of us, for now, we had paid the fee
As we worked through every hour of every day
Uncertain of anything we were to ever say
Always the same, as I would falter and strain
And now, finally, it was agreed upon as plain
As you were really there
Convinced in an instant you decided not to show if only to show another way that you care
Not just in understanding, but working for a purpose, a cause
For a principle and a goal, and here now I pause
As you waltz past, in a disguise that rang of the time
Not you, my dove, thought I, though the disguise seemed to work fine
Turning my nose up and thinking senseless
While you countered with something sensible, I thought even less
Of all of this when I saw another sort of disguise
You identified earlier and sprung upon me as a kind of surprise
Still not you, like you used to call to me
When I thought I’d hear or somehow see
You somewhere you weren’t, or hear you say something you didn’t
Only looking heavenward to see from where you were sent
Using the same name and you became the improved version of this
This night became one that I, like them all, immediately did miss
So I stood
As I should
Thinking only that nothing worse could happen
When you, right in front of me, twirled around and then
Walked right up to me and tapped upon the table
Turning around once more and keeping all stable
Still, and here I laugh, not knowing it was you
Fired off an insult at how sultry you did do
That, not for any reason I could surmise
If only to march right on over to me and cut me back down to size
Weeks measured in a standard way later
To have this circuit completed when all the field tilted when we became sure
That in being apart
All of this could start
At last, I had figured that I had waited long enough and I left the area clear
Chuckling a little, it was true, and you were still so near
That I saw into all the disguises at last
Seeing into all of the pages so fast
That all at once, it was the only way it made sense
I had to turn them over and save them for hence
Through my door again and almost into bed
You struck up very loud and let it come clear, instead
Of me laying and holding my head
You let me know what happened as I had been lead
“We’ve spoken like this a few times or more”
“Had to make sure that you got back safely through this door”
“Now I know you wanted to see me, and I know that you think you did not”
“But I will make this worth your while, you got the answer you sought”
“From a source you should trust, and you know why”
“Here’s another sample of why we always seem to sigh”
“Anytime, not meaning that I am skipping you thanks”
“Only that we may speak like this whenever you need to see through such pranks”
“Like I decided to have with you, as in time it will be clarified”
“Write this one down and place it somewhere on the open side”
Following your instruction, I did this and we continued on
Listening to your words as they became like a song
Out of my mind and across the way
Back to our castle, back to the current standard day
It was early that morning and we tried to lag out time like we would
Early in the second day as we always will and should
Instead of breaking apart on a frail and simple note
You seem to be mentally reviewing this here as it was wrote
We both seem to agree as we kept the essence plain
Regardless of whether or not our vision was placed under the strain
Such as an effect, dull, within our field that tends to
Misplace our interaction and question how true
It is when we both agree
Then with a firm nod, that you let me see
Our castle fills with your words again
I wait as patiently as ever, and then
In the moment before you open your mouth to speak forth with
An agreement in recollection of this event now a legend, a myth
Anticipation rises and the instant draws on and longer
Only to instigate a mode for both of us to be sure

RedAnarchist

22nd January 2004, 09:26

This poetry is absolutely amazing!

I write poems myself, but none are this good

*plagiarises the work* :D

hazard

22nd January 2004, 23:17

thats cool

the intended audience is exclusive, however, I cannot rule out the ability of people to gain some sort of value from what I write in isolation from knowing specifically what I am writing about

hazard

23rd January 2004, 03:40

Kissed by your gift upon the wind, on the field, we stand and we wait
How is it, then, we are into the story of our fate?
Intelligence gathered, we stand as we are
Growing closer across the distance that if it be a matter of meters, still too far
Drawn only closer, and wanting to transcend through the instant of transit
We are brought back into the moment and are immediately lit
Up as the beat in the background sounds a steady rhythm
Music, of a kind, as it follows such rules that make it sound like a hymn
Containing melody and pace and harmony, sound
Circular in progression, something round
About to accompany this in your perch, you scan like a falcon
Finding a way to resume your chorus that shall never be undone
“This early morning night resumes and still”
“Neither you nor I can seem to get our fill”
“Of the other, and so I will mention these spans in a standard way”
“Measured in all these words that I say”
“Smiling to you I mention the last sorry year as one that went”
“In a way we did not understand, as we spent”
“A portion there in a definition that cannot be broken”
“Now I mention this next one in words again spoken”
“Rock, as you stand, and watch me speak and wait”
“We’ve won the field and now we define its fate”
The silence that follows flattens and I want only for you to continue
In speaking in this way, just as you do
To me every day and I cannot stop to not look with my ears
Imagining all of the other years
That are to follow, as we gain in proximity every day and still
Though I claim that I cannot wait until
We are there at last and there, together
In the instant we have this much, and I wonder if never
Could cross either of our minds and strike
A chord, as a tax is raised, a senseless hike
And in that instant I want only to be there
Knowing that you are close and that you care
As much for me as I do for you
Reaffirming with every word that makes all of this true
In our castle, lights echo and I take a step back
While you look over to me, on the level and on the crack
A field effect, a figment odd
Fires itself alight, by your urge, my God
You admit this and I wonder if you are joking in a funny way
Or simply agreeing that you need me to stay
An effect that seems out of place in this crevice where
You placed me exactly in position while you treat me fair
I have no concept of loose movements, lax
Not in a repertoire that cannot seem to relax
Over the crevice and onto the floor
If so was your desire, you smirk and disagree to keep it cool for some more
Eventually I grow weary of the instant in transit
Wondering if you would send me a code to transmit
The effect disappears like it wasn’t even there
Back into the abyss, or elsewhere in the field, we did not care
And to your toes you focus your eyes
A purpose I did not yet surmise
Then, an effect from the field it would seem
Had to attempt to interfere and attempt to disrupt our beam
Shrugging it off, nothing to sharp to deal with then
It happened again, and again
I did not need to look over and ask
If I should launch up my mode and subdue the effect for a task
Only to pass the time as I typically do not bother
With such stupidity of our realm, but to be sure
Since we were in our castle, our fort
This effect must be corrected and fixed as it is the sort
That cannot be allowed to subvert or usurp
If allowed to continue, I bite down on my tongue with a slurp
Dropping the level and scanning the floor
No target to take, so I knocked the entire area if only to score
The hit upon whatever or wherever the effect was found
The swaying of it ceased upon the sound
Of the beam, striking in a block pattern
As if it were up to the field itself to learn
Not to place under its constant encroach its tenders, its guardians, its sole occupants
My love, you, and myself, keen in our stance
You call me to scan again and look on over to you
While still you seem intent to stare at the toe of your shoe
Silently you inflect that this was as you had expected it to be
While we look down and scan and we see
Some sort of warning, as if it had been made
Working as we are so soon after getting paid
Though a realization dawns, as I know your immense strength and will
The so-called effects were probably you urging me onto the kill
Did this matter? Would I have not unleashed the method sound?
Unless you were there to focus and find a way to make sure that I found
The level and angle that you needed right then
Watching as the field, within our castle, leveled off once again
You flash me with your mind
And into the future I find
You on a similar move
As in jeopardy we are and again must prove
That we can keep our field in check
While you once again deny me, and hold me to raise only some heck
Frustrating statements, hurtful pulls and a silent gap
Suggestions I pray could not have spawned from your yap
Built to a point that boils, as I stew
Allowing you my full trust as I trust only in you
Still in this chaos we are striking back and still
Holding my breath, for as long as I need to, until
We can simply fire the camp and move out hand in hand
There is no other way, and in this we both understand
Fully deployed are all of our weapons, our actions
Against any such effects of the field that may suddenly join into factions
The marching man text and the tale of reunion
Recalled as we were first able, and in these wars we won
This field and hold it still
Under our subjection, our force and our will
Out of the mental recall
That I would have once phrased as a power stall
If not for the fact that the field would take this and claim it as its own
To be scattered as far and as wide as the winds would have blown
It out, into the air and to be heard a thousand fold as an echo sound
Wondering, I would, if its source could ever be found
I turn for a minute, and turn back to find you on the floor
After it had settled a little more
My timing may be off, however, as the distortion is still in place
It would seem as if this happened here, in such a sequenced space
Where onto the ground of our fort you are
Watching I am from above, not too far
So as not to see your need
And forgetting all of my will to follow your lead
I saw you require comfort, or reach to provide it
Now if the first, I should have leapt and provided it to you if not so as to know we fit
Perfectly, and it all could be found
As you are the only other anywhere, all around
If I were to search our field there would not be another way
For me to have to find a way to say
That all I have is found in you
I gave it all, since you asked me too
And I’d give it all all over again
Just to see you comforted then
You recognize this, and I receive mine as well
Though whether or not you could tell
I was unable to see if you were the provider or that in need then
It seems I must go over it again
And again, until I realize I have not a clue
Simply move this thought to another corner, and once we’re through
I hope that you can tell me which it was
Since it was that which you do, that which is done as it does
Not really matter, when it all comes down
Once more then I need only to relieve you of wearing a saddened frown
So there it happened, and I know the feeling
Not so bad, in your kindest dealing
Fatigued all at once as my fingers drum
Knowing that even here I am under your thumb
Deciding then to call for a breathe, I mean, what else can I do but wait?
There is little else here for me to state
My head aches a little, now, and I sit, I mean, stand blankly and stare
Absolutely in a direction I can call nowhere
Return to the constant, to you, my love and only one
Hesitatingly, I call a halt here and am for the moment done

(edit lines 1 and 2[structure maintenance])

synthesis

23rd January 2004, 05:44

Epic, man.

hazard

23rd January 2004, 06:21

marvelous

I don't mind hearing positive feedback every now and again

was gonna write another one this morning but I am feeling under the weather

Saint-Just

23rd January 2004, 21:44

I doubt there is a woman who deserves this. (I mean that in a good way, of course)

hazard

24th January 2004, 12:32

Kindness ferments, and I stop once more
Suddenly just as unsure
As I was when you first opened up my eyes
To let me see that you were the answer to all the lies
That had become my existence, as it had been before
You began to make sure that you and I were only sure
That all that mattered was found in each other, as that was all
I allow this to enter my reality while together we fall
Transcending once again
Just as it was then
You allowed me to see that, as you had made certain
Sitting upon the button, lecturing me, and then
Allowing me to let this reality realize
You are all I see in our field and skies
In our castle, still we stand
And though you indicate that there was no need for this demand
I stated not a problem
Made a note and added the sum
Editing at just the right place at just the right time
Motioning towards me and making the sign
Succint, is what you stress
While all along an attempt to transgress
Appears from just about nowhere, a field effect that had become common
Just as the end of our first day was done
Discuss we do all that we have done
And my dear God, thank goodness we have only just begun
An account that has sung these as they have occurred
Juggling versions of reality already encountered, but absurd
You and me in our field, together
And one more time we agree, forever

hazard

24th January 2004, 12:34

deserves what?

you probably are having difficulty reading what I write here

or you're just not reading it

the actual intended audience is for two

and I already told you not to ask who the other person was

but, that, as they say, is another story

they're all the same anyway

Saint-Just

24th January 2004, 19:37

So, some poems are for one person, and some for another.

hazard

25th January 2004, 23:22

well, in a general, uiniversal sense, the audience is two lovers

so the roles can be switched or modified at will

on a personal level, this poem integrates personal events from my perspective that spans quite some time

that is why only myself and the other person, who I said not to ask who it was, who is in this poem will really understand all that it contains

regardless of this, as am certain that I am the MOST WIDELY READ POET this half of the nineteenth century and onward, I can only state that as the author of it only I can say what I actually meant when I write the lines that I have

hazard

26th January 2004, 03:30

Keeping this as it has been on the level, and on this
Where we are, in our castle, and I do miss
The instant we just shared
As nothing else have ever compared
To that one, nor the one before
And as for the one before that, even more
Yet all the while I see you clear and I see you there
I see your head and your stance, I feel your stare
So I look away and I have only
Another instant where I know that we are here and far away from feeling lonely
Though I really haven't for as long as this day has been
Looking for you only to find you within
Every aspect of this, our field, our home
Even in the first day I always seem to have known
You were there and I would only have to wait
Until we found each other, we shall call it fate
Designed in a way that cannot be modified or shifted
While all along, instead
Of completeing the search
I feel the lurch
As if the clouds overhead have parted
Hearing your voice as it has started
To call the play
My need to keep our way
Our will, our spirit and mind
On the whole and still on the wind
"This is where we are still, right now"
"If you can now allow"
"Me to play the part and be on the rescue, as you attack at middle ground"
"I hear you when I let you know that in this sound"
"It is where I let our position hold"
"All on cue and just so bold"
"Then, on a break, I make the turn as you still have to show"
"How it is that you and I did, and always will, know"
"When we find the mountain then"
"Back to the start all over again"
Not sure what that must mean, I see you across the space
You and I in our current place
So I know not to which point we will restart then, and so we pause and think
Not knowing whether my heart will rise, or fall, or elevate or sink

hazard

26th January 2004, 03:43

Kindred, as kind as is the nature of our way
In disbelief, I may seem, in your need to let me stay
Here, for as long as we have to
Noticed you haven't moved an instant or two
While still we have no need to leave
There is this constant hold, since in the instant loss I feel as if I should grieve
At its passage, gone
To get back there would take far too long
And while we pry ourselves away from where we stand, that moment
Passess as if it were never there, and we stop to wonder where it went
And in each instant we regress since
At it we feel the loss, I wince
To thinking how long we can stand to feel it go like so
While I feel as if we should both know
Too long can be spent on the ponder
While so close we are, I see you over yonder
That cannot be the best way
So we agree to move and when you say
This has ben reached as the plan then
Into action we move again
Another moment, another pause, another wait
And then once again in that moment there is this thing called fate
That has not a chance of being trifled with, and then we
Pause, we hear each others plea
Another moment, just to wait, just to hold and feel
I look to you, I start to reel
While we wait and then you seem to give me just another moment
To think about where the last one went

hazard

27th January 2004, 01:37

Kept close to my chest, as you held your hand there
While I felt alive and free, and knew how you let me know that you'd care
For me forever, and always
From the beginning of time to the last of the days
We have measured out accordingly
As we did so firmly and surely agree
So many tmes now I lost count, in so many ways and so often
That I really wouldn't know what to do, if and when
Such a time were to come to pass and you
Suddenly, for no reason decided, that all of this could not be true
And every last instant, every last word and sound
Every last sign and shape and moment found
To share with me
When you first said hi, to when you first answered my plea
To let me through the door and not out into the cold
To have me wait, all over again, for all time it seems, and if I think it bold
That you must have not a reason that could be described or credited
As having not the same goal instead
Of how it seems every time, every last time and every time once more
We cannot attain the level needed to locate and venture forth through the next door
If there is a route, quick, I need only to find it and find it fast
Shout to you where it is and together run the last
Leg through it to whatever is there
With this in mind I need not wonder where
It leads, you know the worst case which is still better than the not
Another line to let be seen so it too can rot
My belief is held by the tiniest of strings
Such as it was earlier in this field day, of all things
To regress upon
I wonder only if somehow our love was seen as wrong?
The field effects, as they were expected to
Began another flux of interference that through
Which we must hold and stand
To keep our field, our love, our land

hazard

30th January 2004, 23:59

Liking this instant where we stand across the gap there
Only as much as I can, wanting and needing, to be fair
Exactly at your side and joined and willing
Still, this instant holds flat as we mention such a thing
Such as what we would do if the other left, be it for a day, a minute or an hour, a week
Measured in time, standard and sorry, I start as if to forestall the leak
That would also be called crying
Though I be more old than that, I cannot help but to when you start sighing
And there is simply nothing else I can do
Except measure how many huffs it takes to dry myself true
So I say the first second would be hell, and there I will be trapped forever
Until you whisper rescue and into the next second, never
To forget the first where I found out
So I'd not want to pout
And not want to worry
But only beg that you hurry
Home and back to me
Have fun, be good, and remember safety
Then the first minute would be there
Trying desperately to prove that I couldn't care
Just to see if you might stay
Or if we're fooling around and maybe to play
There is a chance you're really going to stick
Around, then I feel a little sick
When I realize that you really have to travel away
Into the first hour I run out of words to say
We trade our good bye's, and I start counting down
While I pretend not to be wearing an actual frown
As I will hold our location and promise I'll still be there
Since you asked me, and you know I made you promise that you'd come back too, to be fair
So I save the grief until you are gone
Strike up a chord and play you a song
Roll back my eye's, and let the period pass
Recalling memories of deployments, love songs, sad drives, external effects and mass

hazard

31st January 2004, 23:32

Lost again in the moment
Searching to find exactly where it is you might have went
Though you are there, as clear as day
I, for a change, decide upon words to say
"My one and only, my love of my life, my betrothed, my wife, my friend and my ally"
"Grant me the strength to be strong and not question mercillesly why"
"When there is such a time when we must leave each others sight"
"Be it for safety, for a break, work or a fight"
"I'd still hear you speak, and still have you near"
"But blinded I'd be and unable to hide behind a tear"
"Could you console me and keep me safe until you'd return, as if I'm unable"
"To function alone, or apart, still, we are both just as capable"
"As the other and so I will ache only in your partial absence"
"Counting down the days until you return from whence"
You sigh, a sad sound, like an angel on high
Witnessing a new born infant cry
Your strength is mine, and mine is yours
We've already agreed in terms of support in mutual reflection, sharing all chores
Who's doing what and when and how
We stomp our feet in unison and want each other there, and now
And in that, we both sort of stand with our arms crossed
Time slowly ticking away, its movement the cost
I wonder if there is any way to speed this along
Or if speeding there could have this turn out wrong
You seem to indicate, again, that all of these answers are held in you
Beguiled I am, as being a woman, you have ways that seem so funny to
Me, a mystery you are and you keep it just like so
Certainly you'd claim there are many things I do not need to know
Once more, as I twirl my fingers under a growing pressure
You tell me to relax, and to be sure
I do, as you did as well
Another long ride on a slow train, just swell

hazard

3rd February 2004, 23:38

Listening to the sounds all around
Trying only to remmeber the last sound
You made for me, to me, for me alone
I turn sharply and move suddenly from that zone
Where we have been standing for more than an eternity
The second I leave your sight I hear that ancient, wonderous, knowing plea
The one you made when first we made eyes
Measuring each other and comparing sizes
When I vowed after hearing one crack too many about myself
That I'd give it all up and return you to another space upon my shelf
Too smart, too beuatiful, too cool, too awesome
At my expense I let you have your fun
Vowed to finish up my drink at that then
When you made it clear and crisp, now as it was then, again
"Upon the stairwell I know you are descending, slow"
"Long ago you stopped wondering how it is that I know"
"Maybe this, or maybe that"
"However, you believe and in this I bat"
"Away the foolish drive"
"To rush to me so fast that all of this work we've done, every strive"
"Would be lost for something standard"
"So once again I ask you to flip over that card"
"Still me, and it always will be"
"One more time, I know you'll snicker, but don't you dare leave me"
So I snicker and say God no
I mean, for all my life, I've never had anywhere else to go
But right here, right now
To be at the forefront of your mind, if you allow
And if for a second I thought to leave
The next second would cause me only to grieve
All of my belief, all of the world and all of its worth
Would descend into a blackness, a hole of such great girth
That only horror and terror and evil would reign
You, the last and only hope, to you I would be unable to strain
Myself and elevate on and up to
Of course, my love, I could never leave you
So around the staircase I walk onto the ground
Looking up to you, on high, the meaning of life at last been found
Not a chance would I ever leave, my love
You sort of hint that I better not, from high above
If only to float over to you, right now and search into your soul
And find myself held fully for your console
We would return to any instant then
Feeling it turn over and inward once again
Lose ourselves in each other and be
At peace, at last, and forever free

hazard

5th February 2004, 00:52

Last instant spent, and gone
This is the sound of the temporal song
About who we are and then we are
Away and together, be it close or far
Blocked I feel as this verse is tapped
Upon on keys, with words that have bled
My spirit and drive
To keep us free, in love and alive
A vision held and I cringe at the repercussions
As if my head had been struck and I feel the concussions
Of the images formed and deformed
In it I know not what to do as I am swarmed
By an increased time span
So to you I run and intercede within the plan
Was it you though?
It looked like someone else who I saw to show
Me what you'd look like when we finally met
Upon this visual referent I'd place my bet
That there is not a value to be taken with certainty
So into this I look with scrutiny
In a room of a building in a southern country
I am informed that four times as long, and so I plea
With a howl and a whimper
And rush my form into a blur
Confused with a ten year summer agent united
Thought it was you too, though not requited
Then, in a pool in a house from years past
The referent, was it you? The connect first we made though not the last
When the unforgivable event was forgiven and joined into your earthly form
To be back with you that standard night and feel as warm
As I've ever felt, and there we made
The effort to sit and there we stayed
Until the lights went dark and we were sure
That we could crawl to each other across the floor
And in the dark we could find a way
To rush an all time lead into the third day
So, thought it was you in that pool
Taking a dip to feel cool
In the heat of the sun
We found each other again, disarmed, and the third day begun
In this vision, a dream of a sort
I held recently, though currently we stand within our fort
Together by the pool we agree
To stick this one out and stay alive and free
So we run about and journey fast
This day went on for eternity, and would not be the last
Until we returned late that night of this envisioned third day
To cover the pool and find some way to say
Something to reach the fourth day when it was to happen
Startled now I wake again
At the bottom of the staircase within our fort and I find you still
Anxious only to keep our voice clear, and will
It as loud as we can make it sound
I shake this dream away, as it confuses somewhat at whom and how we are to be found
You seem not to worry
There is no hurry
Then I take a step in the right direction
Mulling through all of our victories and how each of them have been won

hazard

5th February 2004, 23:55

Lumbering there as I wait to recount
Internally remembering the last account
We made is in deep and under we went
A long period, gray, and how it was spent
Before reborn we stand where we are now
Into the sequence of events we turn in and allow
The series to take shape properly
So both of us can rightly see
How they come together and take shape and form
Though I so easily fragment and feel as if I am being torn
In a million directions at once and then
Return to the truth once again
I see you across the way, close and warm and loving
You are the truth, the power, the voice, my everything
And with a flick of your lips that curl at their corner, and rise
Something is afoot as my inquiring mind must surmise
What it is we have to do then, at the instant
Muttering a prayer to heaven as it is sent
Directing to a place seated beside
We casually pass comments in time that doth bide
Away as you smile, you wave, you make me laugh and we relax
Though close to me I am sweating at a possibility that would tax
My spirit and my drive
Such should be a first cause or reason for your, that is our, being alive
Passing into the cycle of doubt
While across the way you make me cringe as you shout
In response to some sharp tones I issued forth and swift
Together we are granted respite as quickly as any rift
That might or might not arise
Regardless of deception or misdirection or lies
Will be now was what we required
And though I was anything but tired
I had to numb the consent, place a percentile and let it rest
Possibly just another strange little test
Time passes and anxiously I watch as
You enter fast, turn and leave, while I do not pass
The seconds you aren’t there without my signature panic
Even though you promised you would be back very quick
Virtually defenseless I had to sit and stand
The circling of effects as par for your demand
Super repeated once as your face became
One that pulls upon my passion with the strongest of a strain
After waving me over to watch as you spoke
After I insisted you not stand upon the bar at the point of a choke
After you blazed your eyes into mine with a burn
After my heart leapt suddenly as I was still there to learn
From you my last series and pains to grow
While every nuance you made, every word that you’d throw
Are forever etched as the brightest ones in my mind
So bright in fact that upon the rewind
My memory shies away from them as they are of you
Perfect, beautiful and so very true
At last you perform the almighty christ with a cross
Bending your wrist with slightest curve, and you toss
Me a line that is defined in a Wittgenstein-ien way
How I almost burst apart that day
You told me what not to do
Because you knew
That I had no idea what was my role then
Filter put back in place once again
A rush back to my bed
After some strange cracks about superstition instead
A reminder was suggested
And then we went deep and were tested
As our party was a sham
All part of our plan
Took one look at you
Knew what I could not do
While you awaited and whispered
Pulling us to the night as you once again lured
Me with a turn, a disguise, a hint and a promise
Were there any details that I here did miss?
So I look on and over, above
To sight you my love
Not there right then
Await I do for a few moments again
As you indicate you are nearby, just out of sight
I can feel your presence as it burns so bright
Together we will go over these lines and see
If this is as it is, just as it must be

hazard

9th February 2004, 00:01

Mixed in a way that cause words to jumble
Back to us we seem to stumble
Where were we recently, are we still in our keep?
When will you finally allow me to collapse into your arms like a heap
Like I wanted to ages ago
You said you were sorry that I couldn't, and although
I knew this already I still need to soon
All it would take would be a smile and I'd swoon
Upon your wish, your command
Following to the letter every last demand
You would make of me
Tell me once again when you are, or when you think I will be ready
Anticipating a wait, as usual is the cause, the case
I am unable to vacate my senses and wander mentally into outer space
Since around every star I see you in orbit
You once more, I turn into you again, and every thing I ever writ
In the past has lead to you again
Every song and lyric and picture and then
I cannot imagine where I would be without you anywhere
So back from space I return and I close my eyes and must stare
Into your eyes and get used to them
Their luminosity, their reflective quality and how they hem
The contours of existence
The orbs of your visual sense
In my mind I cannot turn away
Into them I want only to say
What I couldn't think aloud, so you'd wink
It seems like yetserday when we paused for long enough to realize I could not think
Properly when we were held like that
You at the tap and me while I sat
Do you remmeber when you waited for me at the door
Stood there, sharp, and stopped me cold on the floor
Caught a memory fragment
You wore something so I knew you were sent
There for our first time, eye to eye
Still this could be another of your grand deceptions, though I do not know why
Or how you knew what to wear, how to stand and how to look
Stolen another page from another book
I wrote and allowed you to override
Is it any wonder why I still feel as if I should hide?
If only as a statement that there is no use
Now I'm moving a little less tight and certainly more loose
So you, or another deception, stood and you waited
We froze, you looked away, and I moved before I contemplated
My heart leapt and it seemed you were there
So demure and vulnerable, so sweet and chaste and fair
You asked what i saw when I saw you
If that is who
It was and not a deception then
A summer breeze cools the heat again
As in our tank I sit and I lean forward into the wheel
You brush past while I mutter obscenities at this so called deal
You urge while we turn the key and the engine begins to surge
You have me write this one down ater and into the recycling bin it is sent to purge
Like bats out of hell we drive away
And here we are today
So long ago it was
And I no longer can wait for you to sit me down and explain what all of this is, how does
It make sense, the pieces are there
But the sides were never fair
What is the cause, the reason
Why must I always chase away the doubt that spells treason?
Not to harp yet
You are so soon so as to beget
Me, you said I better be here when you get back
From what, let me guess, another secret mission, a fact finding mission or attempt to hack
The planet while I sit, I stew and I mull over and through
Another memory I put into storage, another event to which you hold the key as all along you knew
My weakness, my dreams and my goals, my reason for living, all of my secrets and strengths, all
While you push and prod at every call
Deception or not, it matters even less then ever before
I need you now, and more
Than I ever could
This memory returns to storage just as it should
Tell me the truth or let me forget
It will not cause me in either way to regret
I look now to the empty crevice and the empty perch where we stood
Knowing thats where we are now, and should
I happen to find a thought along a lonely lane, an empty road or upon a drive
When I remember us first encountering the meaning of being alive
Don't mind me if I cannot help but turn over to the side and whisper again
That we are still as we were, just as we were then

hazard

9th February 2004, 01:22

Maybe clarity was not at the forefront of my mind
Making up as in there I will find
All that there is that I decided to ignore
While I wrote just recently as if asleep, i snore
As every line seemed to be placed from within a bad dream
Where it did seem
That all I could do was blindly acuse with a bad spin upon deception
For no purpose, no gain, no laws or cause for recollection
What would be worse, is a question I may ask
As for now I have no other task
But to try and figure with reason and with effort
What was the nature of this period of our court
I knew not your face
And I knew there was no way I could invade your air space
Same line as always, and then what
Walk in, grab some stickers, and instead of some macho strut
Take a dozen steps outside and fall to my knees
Shouting to heaven and then, please
Stop me here as I remember these day's, standard, properly
If I was lucky enough to see you then, in that dress that stopped just above your knee
That in context this is kept
Just as it must be, a series we swept
Into another and still growing stronger
While right now, though my certainty is not sure
What else can I say?
There is no way
That I should even for a second consider how
I am here, right now
If not for you, and there is only one reason why
There is no way I can lie
In love I fell, in love with you
That is why I often wonder why it is there is so little I seem able to do
You ask for nothing more
And this is the most difficult chore
Certainly you can squeeze something worthwhile out of me
Just so that you can let me somehow think that you see
What all of this has meant
Every last second we spent
Every last word and speech
Every last time we seemed to slip out of each others reach
While we brough it back together closer than before
We close upon the instant, while on the floor
We both cringe and close our eyes and mutter more
Now I remember feeling so sure
That I could not do anything wrong
Could not hear a song
Without hearing you
And all of this we now know is true

MiDnIgHtMaRaUdEr

9th February 2004, 02:08

You have enough content here to fill a book. I suggest you try and publish your work.

hazard

9th February 2004, 02:42

a grand suggestion

first issue: incomplete. for those who have been following along closely you might notice there is a format being employed. that means that I do have a sort of end goal to this "chapter" in sight.

second issue: I would never be so uncallous so as to go ahead and publish this without the express written consenta, or whatever, of the other party involved. she still has yet to respond to my indication that this might be worth publishing, so, as long as we're both enjoying ourselves (and we are) I have no need to rush on that front

third issue: this is a fairly personal account and I myself am somewhat tentative about selling it for cash money. that would, in essence, devalue the actual worth it has. I had already voiced my disdain for writing this in a public forum, however, due to the nature of the time when I began writing this I really didn't have a choice. has worked well this way.

fourth issue: nobody pays poets for writing poetry anyway. the only people who get paid for writing poetry are imbeciles who have other jobs and write crap about shit nobody cares about anyway.

hazard

10th February 2004, 00:00

Minds met, minced and mild
We shift upon a sudden reversal and resume to enacting wild
Short on air my body shudders
Anticipation closes as all of my will cannot contain these shivers
Close by, upon the floor, but out of my sight
The thunder strikes overhead and then the lightning crashes right
Our minds flip onto a sequence past
Not to be lived through again until the replay starts at last
On the other side of the glass that monitors with an eye
Well before I awoke and heard you first whisper hi
You appeared, though I knew not who you were then
Blurry, but alive and when
The pieces came together towards the end of the first day
While I grudgingly forced myself to say
Something in a verbal format, I mean, I just had to
Blurred and sharp and sweet and true
I saw a hood
In black and every time I could
Take a second and see you there
It became more difficult to not want to stare
A little longer and I wonder and think
While across the way I felt my heart start to sink
What was happening while I was pulled to take a glance
To once again risk it all upon what could be another wasted chance
This was it, and then I'd only have to sell out
Thought no shame, no gain and no need to shout
One more time, for old times sake
While in the distance the world rumbled as the ground did shake
While in the present the thunder struck overhead
While we connected, super, instead
And I begged for more
My features plummeted and I saw the shore
Of the sea that I had just returned from
And where you were to venture soon after this was done
Back we were, and in black you had
To just play a little bad
Though you are the kindest and sweetest and only
Other in a field so empty without you I'd be so lonely
That into a ball I'd curl myself
No longer content with all the memories of you I've had stored upon my shelf
A rainy day would not let me review any of them
Without you on my arm right then
So we can look at them together
As we were then, right now, and I never
Thought it could be so sweet and awesome
Until the storm passed and we were momemntarily done
Dizzy, as I ussually became
I spun to the right with a slide and had to strain
Not to look on over to where you might be
Though you were to be the only sight I would ever want to see
My green pad is locked within my case
So I resume to patrol while it marks the place
Where I will resume as it happened
Money, right, that we shall never spend

hazard

10th February 2004, 03:27

Mainly, while on the floor we inflect into a future time
While my back, my spine
Pauses its motion in need of a rest from direction
I inhale, and exhale, and we enter into inflection
Our second day
Well under way
Yet this standard event, a transition well spent
As far as all other versions of this standard went
For ages we have been here
But the standard measure grows near
We agreed upon the play
Earlier that standard day
And I know there is no way
I could linger for longer and stay
Once you made it clear
What to do once the moment occurred, for it draws near
My timepiece frozen again, and in the introspect I hear
Your words startle me out of a doze, no fear
"You kept the keep well as we foresaw it well then"
"And I know our evening draws close to an end and again"
"You must be already at our next rendezvous"
"And I only know where it will be, if you only knew"
"As today I have returned after we both made sure we restated our better's"
"A standard week where we expanded and loosened our fetter's"
"Yet the mood is not one that could be defined or worth mentioning"
"As always you melt as soon as my voice states words that you think sounds like a song when I sing"
"A fast one, some support, some feedback and the singe of a time"
"Yes, I'm back my love and I am doing fine"
The doubt fades as we confirm and reaffirm and go over all the things we agreed upon in signal
Smirking as you claim to blush, an evening reserved to remember upon your recall
Yeah right
A sure sign we were just as tight
That is despite
Leagues of distance, lack of sight
While in a song I remember leaning into in full attention
Had been long ago forgotten
A constant reminder where you were, right here
So close, so near
Checking in and keeping me yours
When early in this long day I had no concept of all the chores
We would have to perform to be in our castle, right now
Though time winds down slowly and we both allow
Our future inflection to unfold
Upon fifty fifty we start to one two and then, being bold
I shift back as we make true and pure and steep
Into an old tale of love where I seep
Into a hollow feeling
Into a vision on a late night where we started reeling
Into a rock line, a shore and a setting sun
That might be on the rise, nowhere near done
Walking along this shore and watching as you sit for an image, sharp
To me you float and our guitar becomes a harp
Through the room and the reverse and then we meet
Paired and together and impossible to beat
Until the inflection ends and I am still on the floor
Rising to the crevice for one last time, once more
Ascending to the clutter of falling debris
Two stepping, then three
As I take an additional one
Hearing you comment as we are still here and not done

hazard

13th February 2004, 23:40

Myth’s, like legends, we agree we are
Long ago while I search for proof within our car
How would I know that you loved me for sure?
That we were in this together, and proven and pure
Along the path to the keep, as I looked all about
Pausing for time to time to listen as you’d shout
Out sounds of wisdom, and compassion and certainty
Directing my vision to sights for me to see
At this ancient time, a hundred thousand lifetimes ago
Our interactions were sporadic, and just so you know
There was a point where I’d start to lose my mind
All alone in the field I would feel and so I’d journey to find
Effects of it to represent you and me, together and in
Where should I start here, where should I begin
First, our keep is held strong and soon I must leave to protect it
From invaders abroad, effects as they present, you point and I’ll hit
While we agree in this last hour in the castle, our home
That never could we ever be alone
We think of the external proofs we’ve accumulated since then
And how we made a stand to keep a schedule all over again
Such as was at the end of the first day
When I thought you might just be an effect yourself, another sad way
For me to disassociate myself from reality as a participant
While you’d shape your words and intone, I’d rage and rant
Every other night and every weekend
I typically, that is I would tend
To pause as you announced a site
Too scared I was, too filled with fright
To open my eyes and see if I knew who you were
Too accustomed to your minds representation through words so sure
That maybe upon a referent, visual, I’d fall for it all
Or would I see right through you and hear your call
That matched mine in its frequency and tremor
So you sirened me soft and I opened my eyes, and no more
Could I listen only to the sounds that you made
Already into the future into the first time we would be paid
As in the distance, as you brought the first day to an end
You sat and swiveled and leaned and did bend
Your knee as it was raised and pressed
A memory kept in care and in jest
Of the hundred thousand lifetimes that would pass
Before our second pay day and first secret mass
Into my mind you found a way
As I will compile a list of some of the favourite things you did say
“Remember, my love and only one, this was the first day”
“So I wasn’t quite as personal in the things I would say”
“Such as here’s a new one and I’ll confuse you a bit”
“Just like the time I spoke of a whack, a target, a reason, and made your head spin in a fit”
“How about the movies, and ha, one I was looking forward too”
“I had you then, and don’t argue, it’s true”
“Your favourite, my knight, was the dot and the see, eh”
“While we still were working your socialist play”
“To many now, but I will allow you to recall the time I pressed into the mike”
“Like a warm wet kiss you said, one you owe me and one we’ll share alike”
Already I’m past our second, and now into the message
That had me so wounded I couldn’t hope to find a ledge
To fall into your arms as I’d force you to catch me again
The comparative connection was made, and then
What was left of my mind disappeared forever
There was no way we could sever
Ourselves from each other, and I would not want
To forget the way, in the first day, I’d cheer as you’d haunt
Me at the beginning of your evening
I’d clap a little harder and raise the volume at which I’d sing
Shout at the mention of your name and raise my fist
Imagining some sort of role-play as we were lovers separated in a tryst
Of intrigue and espionage, deep under cover
Oh how little I knew, my soul mate and lover
That knows more about me than I do of myself
While you keep yourself such a mystery that you can behave like an elf
A queen, a sorceress or mutant
Still I’d have no reason to doubt, as I can’t
Imagine the source, the fact, the need for these
As my earliest plea in the second day was to please
Let this last, and don’t let it all fall apart
Why do I feel like so, this is just the start
I hear you sigh with a click
Intoning that I’d just ruin it, though the thought made me not feel sick
But cause a slight smile to break through the mirth
The earliest indication of your value and worth
In my den, where our love grew to a bloom
From late may, through June
And through the summer, the fall and on some more
After millions of years it seems, and victory from a constant war
That assaults us wherever we go
Upon my bunker and into your show
We have held strong
Proven ourselves against all the wrong
That are effects of the field, our home at large and wide
Together we are and on the same side
What else can I summarize here?
A day passes in standard and I refuse to brush away a tear
At the passing of this, just time again
In pain, I look to you and then
Am relieved of this sensation
You cause me elation
And I can only wonder where and when it will be at last
As I allow your subtle, incredible spell to be cast
Wondering how I can assist
If I can, or if I can only persist
Like you claimed I could and you know I can
Smirking I pretend to be angry with you and mutter something concerning you, that woman
And all the things and ways you’ve done and left me without a clue
You are all that, more and still I know only that I can do
Whatever you want whenever you need
So in a husky shiver I refuse to bleed
The institution again unless you think I should
You nod, and I am on it, will write another here soon, and you know I would
Do much more than this
Consider this line a written version of a soft, loving kiss

hazard

14th February 2004, 04:59

Now that the time, as a standard day is to be measured here
I hear
Only what you tell me
I see
What you show to me and
Silently, for the second time, on yesterday’s field day you tell me you understand
You, my love
As if from above
Speaking through the beak of a dove
Words that start the windfall, like a shove
They indicate what it was you meant, were to mean, and what were to do
A long quest completed, and another began to prove it was all true
And once proven, I could only listen and wait
While somehow we both seem to have outrun fate
We know where we will be
We know what we will see
We know how long and when
We know it all as it will all happen again
You understood something, what, as on this day
Your laughter rang strong as if you were trying to say
That this was funny and you’ll love for me to hear you
Laugh, although like I am blind and you are nowhere near me, this is what you did do
To see me smile, wide, and utter forth these sounds
While you have completed the last of your daily rounds
You understood then
That if this same thing were to happen again
While I was lost in my search
Allowing this to be the final attempt, to lurch
Like I was crippled and fall into your arms
This laugh you shared with me, one of the many charms
You offered to me up to that date
So should I here and now state
That; woman
You, what sort of sordid plan
Did you deploy and for what purpose could I find
As you loosen your hold only to allow me coil as I attempt to unwind
Take me back, I cannot function without
I feel the discorporation effect as you hear me shout
Across all of the field and through all that is there
To slip into your ears just under your hair
Imagining you on a stopwatch to make the seconds seem
Important in their nature, as you somehow glean
How long it would take before I’d come rushing back to you
Woman, how can you do
This to me and time and over again
In a moment I’ll laugh at the notion of the replay and then
You’ll slip the dagger in once more
Whispering not to worry, it’ll only be sore
For a minute before you heal me with a sound
A breath, a hummed note, a memory you found
And restructured into code
If only to distract me for a second while you load
A secret mission into my aching brain
I call out to you, woman! To what do I owe this strain
You place upon my spirit, my body, my mind
Allow me to pretend I’m offended until we find
A way to settle whatever petty difference you’ve decided to put out
To all corners of the field, oh how I could shout
To all of it, everywhere, that that is embellished
That that is a secret or that that is relished
And garnered to make sense only to me
And you, my love and wife and betrothed, I see
Now that for whatever purpose you have I may not ever be able to understand
You as you easily understand me, I refuse to demand
Even the most remote detail or secret or fact
Too many times you’ve been so full of tact
And taken care to toss aside words and values when
None were needed and then
As there could not be any way for me to complain
You pull me again, stick that dagger and once more I strain
Not to call to you, woman, why do you do this to me
Can you not answer my current plea
Sheathe that dagger for now and take us into day three
So we can be together in the branches of our tree
Is that a yawn I hear?
Are you somehow mocking another tear
As they seem there only when you demand
Captain I’d call you as under your command
You order me off of the ship
While all hands aboard will be unable to give you the slip
I mutter woman one final time and scoop you up into my arms
Where you will not be able to victimize me further by any of your blasted charms
As the ship slowly sinks and we climb into our life raft
The vessel implodes with a boom and a waft
Of sulfur, smoke from a fire left burning
Where we stood long, through turmoil and churning
Into the open sea we venture about
Then you give me a shout
To wake me from this
A hug, a nuzzle, a hold and a kiss
Words that fall from your lips that seem to make no sense
Until I review them, here, in the past tense
“My voice will sound so nice, so good to you right here”
“Don’t pause for long, though I’ll ask for some slack and then into another gear”
“We shift as the night before, as we lay”
“Thinking ourselves alone we came up with this play”
“The effect of it in emotion, a super connection in motion”
“While the sea churns in your minds mental ocean”
“I will let it happen then as you usually are polite to let me speak as you listen”
“A colour, a process, a pause and then”
“Opposites as deployed upon the instant as we have it on”
“We copy each others words, say get it, and listen to another song”
Should I have said thanks, or told you that I love you
You seemed kind of quiet and maybe I did to
Let me put it this way
There are no words that I can use to say
That is describe how it went then
And how it will go again
Upon the agreement, early that morning, call it the standard night before
While I lay and we whispered and I felt sort of only unsure
Didn’t sigh as we eased into and played
While in the life raft, in our mind, the ocean swayed
And it didn’t stop to break upon a wave
Where we usually seem to hold and make a save
Great use of language, and timing so crisp
The connection we speak of, lips curl and I hear you use that soft little lisp
That sometimes drives me crazy in more ways than I can imagine
For you, my one and only, I offer the world as it is a prize we can win
If you want it, for I could care less
About it, just you and me and our field, unless
In our joining so close and closer
We cause a crack in the field like such a fissure
Where it would expand
Is this a demand
That I could dare not accommodate?
When after so many times we agree it is our fate
So I thank you here then
Say I love you, a million times, again
Want only this and need only that
Offering my lap for in there you could have sat
Forever and I would be your seat
While maybe for the last time I imagine holding your feet
While you sit in that chair
While you hold that stack of paper, looking so fine, so fair
While I am too tired to stay awake
I hold onto them for the sake
Of comfort, of keeping them warm
Anything for you, my everything, I bow and conform
And switch to any side, do it al and do it again
You smile and call me boy, and then
You offer me a dream
And I seem
Only able to comply
You are in it, away, and I comply
In it to see and hear the recognition
As is the condition
The nature of our engagement as we have agreed
Though we call ourselves married more often as is the need
Of the scenario, the climate of the world and its age
Jotting it all down and recording upon every page
The information you pass to me
So together, maybe one day, we can both look and see
Or, as we both grow weary, to toss it all aside
Find out what happens at the end of the sixth day and bide
Only all the moments and seconds it takes to get there
Forgive me now if I stare
Into your eyes for longer than usual
You don’t mind, and know its not unusual
Our features freeze
And upon a sneeze
We look away
And look towards the dawning of the next day

hazard

15th February 2004, 01:21

Nicely, as we allow our night to wind down as it is drawing to a close
There is a memory triggered and I remember looking to you, and stating that such prose
As it is being drafted here, page after page and line after line as it is all I seem able
Or allowed to do, regardless of how many other things I am certainly just as capable
Of performing, of doing, of providing, enacting, procuring, securing
Forget about my talent, my writing and music and constant effort to try and sing
To you, a note or a song or a sing along, deep or high or sharp or soft
Whether it be within a forest, upon a stage or laying within a loft
Looking to you, as you were dressed in black, as usual, as you know I love
You asked for forgiveness while you glanced down from nearby, above
Soon after that as my brain began to sequence every pause you took
Every shift, every sideways look, every turn, smile, flick, stance as into our book
I felt every action as they took place, then, in another place
Where we cleared the air and felt the need vacate all of our headspace
To you I shook my head and felt you were too grand and kind and perfect and wonderful
To look at this way, as if using an x-ray machine to see into your skull
To examine later and piece together and see if every action meant what I hoped and thought
To mark down in ink and mull over again until there was less than a lot
Of actions and instances to run through and find, as always, your love for me was true
There was no other explanation for all of these actions, for all that you did and would do
So I indicate that I do not want to write to you anymore, I cannot do this
Our world became a series of fragments and every one of them I do miss
From you mentioning all of the charts and, as was my move then
To smile and disagree on principle, stutter yeah right and when
This statement became the truth; I’d laugh even more at your access to proof
Then you had me hold for two, an out, and like we were playing sleuth
Began working about, on the floor, and on our feet as you were there
Waiting for me to return so I could say clearly that I did care
Enough to not want you too near, the pain and passion, the history, the year
We agreed on, or didn’t we? We should speak of this later and now I sear
As on this evening, I stand in my main position, a week later where we fold our arms
Remember all of the attempts and insanity and attempted harms
For a smile and a chuckle you request the Sterling, or was it Serling?
As he would stand with a smoke I would stand holding a thing
Not my water, no, but a glass of cola, but we’ll call it rum
In case any of the field effects thought me too square or dumb
So, on this evening, I stand in position, while from the corner of my eye
I have not a chance to move, I am frozen and wondering why
Your profile so proud, so sure and on, I am glued and cannot think
You wander into me, and don’t stutter or pause, or shudder or wink
Your hand slips up from nowhere and mine finds its way to open
Itself and await you to place yours almost in it, and when
You did that, you gave it the most subtle and convincing, miraculous tap
Your pound for pound pressure and soft certainty, my how I clap
My hands at having you there, we exchanged that one instant
You mark it with your weight upon my palm and here I rant
You wait while I place my hand back into my pocket, not looking or checking
Your transfer on and over, I thought it contained a coded message, and I sing
Your praise since it did, though it was not one I could read or scan with my senses
You intoned upon this, or you chanted, you passed your spirit into it, I do not know what it says
Other than that you love me, you want me, you need me, and all of this forever
Your method of transfer so incredibly accurate and sound and clever
You nod once, so curt, with that beautiful half frown that I dare not ever turn from
You wait for me to follow this, and on a dime, you spin and we are done
Catching my breath as I watch you walk away while neither of us exchanged a word to say
What had happened, what was just done, what you thought I thought, what was the way
What was the play, what was your plan, what was going on, what was to occur
I was mesmerized at your expression, so calm and cool and sure
That might have been it, right then, so long ago, and little did I know
What was to occur standard hours later when we both had to go
A pain that built to an unbearable burden, my mind disintegrating
Gone, lost, and bound to you, kept alive by every breath you take and every note sing
On life support I remained for almost a day until, seated in our tank
My being gave up, I could not hold still and no trank
Would or could or should ever subside the racking, jolting and shocking
Realization, twice now, both the same, and every one since then, our thing
Us, in tandem and connected, agreement, consent and on key
We are in love, and always will be, and we always answer each others plea
Looking back one more time as you spin on a ninety degree
Your expression, driving me to any location, what did I see
At what had just happened, then, at the time, no big deal
A close encounter, a memory to savour and protect so no one else could steal
It and make it somehow tainted, the simplicity and certainty
How it became transcendental, why did it take me so blasted long to see
What had happened then, what was the value and what was the event
Like an angel, dark, from the highest and loftiest cloud in heaven you were sent
Really, I mean this, there is no other way for me to explain
In language so easily convoluted when my voice can be made to falsely strain
And the proof I had for so long sought for now cannot be applied to myself from external
Factors unless you were to trust me, as I trust you, I cannot ever feel well
If I do not and here I open my wallet and look at the item as it sends me a shock
All of time stops, the sun freezes beneath the horizon and upon the clock
The second hand freezes, I hold the item and feel you tap it, once and I place
It into my pocket in that year round jacket I could wear like an astronaught in outer space
I look at it, nothing new, I open it, nothing not seen, I flip and I flex my mind
What were you giving to me? A secret message? A code to someday find?
What of your expression? Your stance? Your nod? What of your nod?
What did that mean? Was it to be taken as some kind of nuzzle like prod?
What exactly were we nodding at and for? What were we agreeing upon?
What did you think? Did you think I might not be wrong?
In wanting you, and only you, and ever only you and nobody or nothing else at all
I almost laugh at the three times we spoke aloud and every last call
We made after that when we traded, in turn base, and the last sound you made
Maybe, as back to the present, I might have found a reason or way to have stayed
Just a little later instead of what I actually had to do, as we agreed
How many standard, sorry months would pas before the need
We have to be back, face to face, overcomes the lazy, laissez fare
Approach while we hide behind masks and proudly exclaim how much we care
About one another until, like startled sheep we cower and pretend
That every last thing we said to each other, every note we did send
Was never sent and that we’re just so cool and so cloy, and I can stand in the crevice
While you do your thing in the perch, and we pretend that this is as close to bliss
We will ever need to be and in my bleeding heart sort of stupid mode I proudly say
That if this was the last moment of the very last day
I could die and be happy and be satisfied with all we have done
While the black hole that became the inversion of the only star, our sun
Begins in its rapid, rabid and unforgivable passing of judgment
Quickly I could rush to you in the twenty seconds we were granted, as they were sent
For us to stop fooling around and savoring the anticipation and the foreplay
While I swoon and I sway, and greatly anticipate the dawning of the third day
Now the item, its box a little frayed and the colors faded
Still just as bright as it can never, in a million years, grow jaded
As it is held in my hand starts to quiver
As you send me a shiver
As you open your mind and silently whisper
What it means, and I open my eyes and know we are sure
How many times did we agree?
It happened just like that, a yep, and finally
I see you turn on that dime
Walking away, just so fine
With that expression, I could frame it then
I look right into you and say let’s talk of the replay once again

Pedro Alonso Lopez

15th February 2004, 14:13

Originally posted by [email protected] 9 2004, 03:42 AM

nobody pays poets for writing poetry anyway. the only people who get paid for writing poetry are imbeciles who have other jobs and write crap about shit nobody cares about anyway.
Oh dear God, you must live in some naive odd little place where poets dont get paid.

Poets of today for examples Seamus Heaney make a living of their poetry as it has been published. He was a schoolteacher hardly the job pf an imbecile.

I care about Heaneys poems. But hey Hazard says nobody cares about people that write poetry that are imbeciles that have other jobs so maybe Im wrong.

Your poetry is mediocre and onloy kids here who havent been exposed to say Shelley, Blake, Heghes, Plath, cummings, Lawrence etc. would be impressed by your ok attempt at poetry.

You can write and you will get better, in fact you will probably develop pretty well but at the moment you are just ok.

Now for your idiotic statement about poems that dont rhyme, first of all poetry is about rhyme during sentences more than at the end at two subsequent sentences.

Examine some cummings, a clear reaction against the structure of poetry preceding him but also about the looseness of modern reality:

e. e. cummings - all which isn't singing is mere talking (32)

all which isn't singing is mere talking
and all talking's talking to oneself
(whether that oneself be sought or seeking
master or disciple sheep or wolf)

gush to it as diety or devil
-toss in sobs and reasons threats and smiles
name it cruel fair or blessed evil-
it is you (ne i)nobody else

drive dumb mankind dizzy with haranguing
-you are deafened every mother's son-
all is merely talk which isn't singing
and all talking's to oneself alone

but the very song of(as mountains
feel and lovers)singing is silence

That my friend is poetry as is this:

Blackberrying - Sylvia Plath

Nobody in the lane, and nothing, nothing but blackberries,
Blackberries on either side, though on the right mainly,
A blackberry alley, going down in hooks, and a sea
Somewhere at the end of it, heaving. Blackberries
Big as the ball of my thumb, and dumb as eyes
Ebon in the hedges, fat
With blue-red juices. These they squander on my fingers.
I had not asked for such a blood sisterhood; they must love me.
They accommodate themselves to my milkbottle, flattening their sides.

Overhead go the choughs in black, cacophonous flocks ---
Bits of burnt paper wheeling in a blown sky.
Theirs is the only voice, protesting, protesting.
I do not think the sea will appear at all.
The high, green meadows are glowing, as if lit from within.
I come to one bush of berries so ripe it is a bush of flies,
Hanging their bluegreen bellies and their wing panes in a Chinese screen.
The honey-feast of the berries has stunned them; they believe in heaven.
One more hook, and the berries and bushes end.

The only thing to come now is the sea.
From between two hills a sudden wind funnels at me,
Slapping its phantom laundry in my face.
These hills are too green and sweet to have tasted salt.
I follow the sheep path between them. A last hook brings me
To the hills' northern face, and the face is orange rock
That looks out on nothing, nothing but a great space
Of white and pewter lights, and a din like silversmiths
Beating and beating at an intractable metal.

BOZG

17th February 2004, 22:34

Your poetry is mediocre and onloy kids here who havent been exposed to say Shelley, Blake, Heghes, Plath, cummings, Lawrence etc. would be impressed by your ok attempt at poetry.

And punk muthafuckers like you who don't mention Dickinson should be shot.

FatFreeMilk

17th February 2004, 23:21

you tell 'em stephan! don't forget shel silverstein!

hazard

17th February 2004, 23:42

geist:

since you represent a member in the post NOVEMBER 03 era of che-lives, it is NO SECRET who you are and what you represent. I will not divulge, but will point this out to you. to compare me to poets from the last century is hysterical. and of all of these you pick cummings. to compare me to. and some female who wrote like seventy years ago. and then you say, because these people were pros, which they might have been, I am only mediocre.

here's a clue. I am not writing this for YOU, or ANYBODY else really who thinks they can barge in and pass idiotic comparisons and indefensible judgements. as far as I can tell, comparitively, I am as well versed and written as either of these. if you want poetical nonsense, as cummings seems to write, check out the communal thread. if you want what I am writing here, whihc is a narrative style poem, you should compare me to spenser or milton or even shakespeare. you know so little about poetry I cannot believe you even made any claims at all. its like you picked a name, cummings I guess, and decided to just say he is a better poet than me. actually its not like that at all, its exactly like that. any wonder what you have been thinking of? a fine example of what people who joined che-lives in post NOV03 represent. now, did you start spamming the board as a result of my last installment of GUERRILLA POSTING or because of the current INFO leak or just, as I know you are just itching to ly about, blind coincidence? I don't care anyway.

please don't post any more crusty old dead peoples poems as compairitives to mine here. please start a new thread called "HAZARDS POEM SUCKS" if you don't like it and I'll gladly stand up to your criticism there.

hazard

18th February 2004, 02:03

Nicking time, we finish that night at last
Here is the sequence in forward fast
Fatigue begins to take over and
You make the sequenced space utterance as a demand
At the strike of two upon the hour
I must vacate and defend our love, its power
As it would and has and will draw all about
You put your foot down and do not shout
So the time retracts and I cannot say goodbye
We both know why
As I really wouldn’t be leaving yet
Or could I really, though I do regret
As it would and could be a time, measured sorry
Of weeks before I’d start to plea
For another day of pay
Where we get to dance and sing and dart and play
Upon the field, within a fort we might invade
I’ll lead the charge as you represent the cavalry upon such a raid
Finally, a few minutes early, I try to slip through the door of our keep
Keeping my head low and trying only not to make a peep
Our night, so new, went so well
And we both could tell
That once I completed this review, as it is summarized here
All was well, and thus ended the finest standard year
I ever lived for all of my life
Since in it I found you, my loving wife
All past events made sense and were defined here
All prior things and mysteries, every last year
And all of my future became so bright
I had to close my eyes from this vision, we were to only get more and more tight
All questions were answered and I think of your words as I wait
Outside of the door, I think of fate
As I saw you in the perch, shuffling around
Silently we spake and we agreed upon a sound
As you intoned a gift upon a certain day
Motioned towards me and waited for what I would say
In retrospect I should have said that you were correct and right to the very letter
Such a response was firm, and better
Than my reaction which was only an echo of your statement
Pretty much exactly as it went
As I thought the same thing about you
And I stood as you shuffled and I only knew
That we had nothing else to speak of then
Remembering this as I stood outside the door when
The field effects piled up again
Healers and wounded and I counted to ten
Before I could open a way back inside our castle upon a note
Mentioning it here as it happened, I wrote
Back, in the back of it
Into the room to wash once more while I knew not where you were, no time to sit
As upon another note the door was opened again
A field effect slipping and then
The door closed once more
You muttered something as I left the floor
Then the alarm, of some kind, went off
I smiled though I should have began to cough
And rush back in and make sure you were fine
Instead, as it was right on time
Laughter hurt as I was pulled away
A few feet later and you wished me a happy day
Some of your best bravado sent me off and upon
The field as a whole, your voice, a song
While you called out about that exit, strong
Typical and par, and so not very wrong
In the cold
I returned to the hold
Where I parked our tank
Beneath the field as it sank
Low enough to hide and keep it safe
From field effects that care only to strafe
At its passage, wherever it may go, into it I climb
All is well, perfect, amazing, awesome, incredible, fine
Our tank shifts its exterior and then into time it travels
Making all of our visions true, as my heart swells
Just like you told me
Just like you said we’d see
The present now
So many days later, through time as it did allow
Us to keep it all strong and true
You on the gold while I’m on the blue
Though short on funds I am not
I need to find another day to plot
Out motions and positions, comparisons, thoughts
Anything but what we both want, anything except for lots
Of near passes and darting gazes and communications
A standard day of pay and then we point our guns
At directions and fire our way through
All the field effects attempting to
Block our passage or interfere
Until we can find an escape route, enter our vessels and hit the gear
Achieve exit velocity and open the warp fissure
Meet at our safe house and share in the cure
I says its time to get paid
You say nothing and I resume to wait patiently, as I am and have been made
For now, we must restructure and set up again
The short term, long term, marked out perfectly, a perfect ten
Still, if there is any way
To get close again before the actual third day
Without asking you made me a promise
Yesterday, standard, and confirmed again today, standard, so I wouldn’t miss
Upon the day before yesterday, as I drove about
Fielding our position, I almost heard you shout
As in regards to the move, knight taking pawn
While you heralded it all in a sharp, but sweet song
That next time, if it was to occur
You’d be there, as in day three, it would be here at last and for sure
And I had to stop and realize, what exactly else did I think?
Why did I even pause to see if you’d wink
At me to make sure I knew
Still you did, and you told me, in words that you threw
Made accurate by a case, just in, and a go
Just in case I needed a confirmation, verbal, so I’d know
What you meant
The promise made as it went
Well, the standard day before
Yesterday, as my body ached and was sore
Mirroring our words as I spoke of you as woman
After one of our earliest exchanges, part of your divine plan
Into the sound of your laugh, its deployment in verse
While we made sure that, for better or worse
That you understood once again, as you did before
Stopping me from ranting while my fingers grew sore
Hammering the keys until you held me for a second, or more
Just to listen to your voice
Denying me the choice
To do anything else, I mean, my God, it was you
In day one, too
And I, just so busy being as rude and mean as I could
Didn’t stop when you spake, as you and I both knew that I should
I wondered why I couldn’t slow up long enough
To listen then to all that great stuff
That always did and always will
Make me smile, make me stutter, and still
Do everything for me
You had to make me stop long enough to see
What I was doing and why it was being done
Strange, I thought, resumed to my typing and insulting for fun
You spake again and I did not even stop for a moment
Then your voice went
Away, and you told me you understood
I stopped then, looked in your direction, sadly smiled and thought good
Did I not know, consciously then, what that meant
From where it was you were sent
And why you were there
Why you told me then that you understood and did care
Of course, you knew you had me then
And I don’t mind going over it again
A week later, maybe more or less, I can’t tell
Exactly when it was, but you tossed out that laugh, so swell
It hit me as I was already into you deep
Too late, the matter decided, we laughed, and then in a husky heap
Of a language beyond words you told me you understood, again
And what was it but love, right then
Either you plucked this secret as it applied to a prior, mad
Connective incident four sorry years past and glad
I was to have you use this indication
To free me at last so we could ease into elation
Plucked just so you could use this move
As one, since you really did understand and knew how to prove
Your feelings to me, mutual as it was
Or perhaps ‘twas fate, as something fate does
By the connection of cosmic, transcendental chance
You came along and duplicated the stance
The very same one from sorry years over at last
By blind coincidence, by chance from the past
We laughed, and you understood
And yesterday, as you could
Sneaking you played for me
Passed an alternate on fifty fifty
Joined them together on the turtleneck fake
Overridden by your will I sensed again that the earth would one day quake
Thinking that is the fourth biblical, awesome, universal day
Watching all of it sway
Beneath your gaze
And into a craze
As to the chair in a blurry photo I see pulled aside
You stood, almost snide
The night fell and today came
Time traveling, and I need to get paid to keep sane
Long enough to make into our third day, finally
Where we are soon going to be

[edit line 18, "you" was there instead of "the", inexplicable]
[edit line 152 "not" was deleted, it WAS love! ]

hazard

18th February 2004, 05:58

Needs as I have focused them into, all into you
Weeks ago you agreed on needing me like this too
And now that I have left you in our castle, weeks before
As you witnessed my exit, evening this up once more
Time spent in transit, mostly discussed in visions we held then
A month and a half gone, preset in commands and again
Something tickles as I try to imagine how
It is I am here, right now
Day two has been a long and difficult one
Spiked only with bliss, beauty, brightness, as bright as the sun
Even in the darkest hour
Felt while we stalled to increase the volume of our power
Caught up at last, or so it would seem
Awaking from this is impossible, trapped within a dream
Woven into every corner of all of reality
You are everywhere, are all I can see
When I close my eyes and when they are open
While I plug my ears and then
My mind finds you all over again, realizing this and when
There is simply nothing else that could ever happen
I find you as you always are and always must be
The only who could ever answer and be the reason for all for which I plea
So another sorry day ends
And I review all of the thing your love sends
To me and without feeling glum for what you will not allow me to offer
I can only sort of echo, that is acknowledge, so that we can both be sure
That an appreciation, an understanding
Is reached between all the demanding
That also goes on
Concerning how the next verse of our song
Should go, when it should begin
Should it be as pure as heaven or as slippery as sin
Should you play the bass while I play the five
Should I sing this time or should you strive
To do more than hum some weird sort of counter melody
Like the deal on the river that flows into a Middle Eastern sea
Yesterday, our contagious laughing sort of won’t stop as I hear
You hold it together, I wipe away a tear
As our foolish youth
Laughing for no real reason, I guess, as proof
Doing it all, good
Doing it all as we should
As we are separated by antennae and wires
Mercifully altering the chorus of choirs
So as not to sing too loud and all at once, too much
Such is it is as is such
Early now, yesterday
Measured in the standard way
Not much you would let me do
So I followed your lead; I had no problem since our love was true
Nice timing, not as awkward as ages ago
Long before our first weather inducing show
A day green, as I hear you, literally, I hear you smile
A little later that day, recalling this event that took place a while
Before now
And if you do allow
Me to point out the sequence as it was then
Ending upon a case, and when
I try to pinpoint the purpose
I pause only to stall at what I’d propose
Think we are solid
Enough to know there is no need to bid
Any more on this
We exchange a sordid, telepathic kiss
Still, so close but so far to bliss
Divided upon a mind and body access
Two pads now opened as you multiply the levels now
Laughing, I must use division and you allow
Me a moment to attempt to phrase what we are attempting
While along to some known lyrics I softly sing
Definitions of what I’d be without, meaning nothing
Inferring that you, once more, are everything
And then you yourself sing out a bit
Ending it with a negation, and a thought that would only fit
In the way we have reached an understanding upon the subject
Belief in an object, and an essence that is not a substance, an argument we’d not neglect
As I look into you
Not like that, that definition of belief cannot be true
Still, you sang so well
To think I didn’t know that you could before I fell
Into you, in a love so strong that without you I’d be dead
As if bitten by a poisonous spider or, instead
Shot by the dart of a spy from a crossbow
Hidden in shadows so nobody would know
Where the bolt came from
Somehow you tricked me again into having some more fun
After you stressed, once more, that promise flat and full
Duplicating what was done under ancient Rome’s pull
And when in it, as the field effects are
From very close to wide and far
Writing a book, such as I offered and you knew you had to ignore
While we agreed on the rule from long before
So I tap these letters out now
So that a squash like gourd can make some cash, we allow
Such similarities enough time to fall away
So we can sit back and dream of the next universal day
Resting, as our life, the rest of it can
Fall into place and face death and we laugh at the ban
That may not exist in regards to how good we say that we’ll be
While all the effects vow only to drive us into the sea
My eyes roll back into my head
As I sink into my bed
Your words flow like rays of the nearest star, and I am warmed in them
So I make an approximation of them here, once again
“Getting this all up to date at last, doing it all today, and I say”
“That there is really no other way”
“For this to be taken, so I inquire about the deaths of owned friends”
“I call out hello, say weird for the third time, and as reality bends”
“All for you and me, I use our robotic sad and funny claim”
“As a joke today, but I’ve used it also as a way to restrain”
“Sort of like I do as upon a mental cue I show you that image of me leaning forward”
‘Just to stall for a minute, as into and toward”
“Our future offspring as was written and as you write”
“Exist and are nearby, though just out of sight”
So while this is going on
I listen as you inquire and it does not sound wrong
When you mention incredible, an incluse
While I am far away from any such recluse
That would have me lost in an aisle in a video store
Hastily deciding on how to waste hours or more
We get to laughing, and I hear that smile stand out
Long enough for me to try to pout
About something that might not have been anything
Hey, I already heard you sing
Long ago
Thought I died then, if you had to know
About the effect you would have
But still we laugh
And thoughts of pay day, new years day, the third day
And all we still have to say
Bounce around as loud as any sound
You state you must go and retrieve some items found
At a store I returned from the day before
You say weird once more
I wonder what I’ll do, and what will happen soon
Not even bothering to consider if I should swoon
Or if I should miss, or if I should wait
Or if, for a change, just be glad at where we are thanks to fate
So it all went well, and better than that, so I rest
Long enough to whisper that you are the best
Better than that and more than all that there could ever be
Thanks again for setting me free

hazard

19th February 2004, 01:19

Next place we are sent to meet upon, and soon I hope
As already I have left our fort and already I begin to mope
So I call to you
To see what you can do
“Within our tank I level the cannon, main”
“And with a trigger squeezed I do not strain”
“Any longer at the damage inflicted, strong”
“We have been damaged for too long and for reasons wrong”
“Support that is typical I look to upon the set”
“Command, denied and I know we are tied so I begin to fret”
“Until it is that I strike my number and replace the zero with a one”
“Immediate evac sequenced and the massacre has already begun”
“You kiss me for luck and I moan out the last one like”
“Upon our mountain spot, in our tank, and far from trite”
In our tank, its shields we have constructed strong and I thank
You for it, for our successful completion strong thus far, and still my heart refuses to sink or be sank
In our tank, I check the clock and it looks to be a week ago
Just in case either of us were unsure, and so now we know
I flick a switch and you await upon the button, and we nod and you push
Reality melts with a swish and we shush
Long enough to fall into place a year ago, a year past
My favourite of all the standard ones spent to the last
Second and every hurt and every pain
And every time we had to strain
So far that I knew not who you were or who I was
What we did, what we were to do, and how does
That year begin, the third in this millennium
Cycle, how the seconds were to run
Into my war room, my barracks, my command center, my security station
My overpriced hole that was noisy, interfering, cluttered and far from fun
As when I fell, when you tripped me good
Just so you could be there to catch me as you always would
The confines evaporated
I soundly contemplated
The nature of existence and developed my theory of everything
And you prove it every time you sing
Every time I see your face
Every time we transcend time and space
Every time I hear you laugh
Every time you take a sharp note and I feel the dawning of your wrath
Every time you make me smile or make me move
Every time I lose all my thoughts and am left with nothing to prove
Every time you pass a joke
Every time you move your lips and can be said to have spoke
Every time I lose my will
Every time you declare you can never have your fill
And we agree we think we are in heaven again
Your perfection and beauty, my love, a perfect ten
You disarm my war room and upon the extort
We start to venture out and map out every last distort
That effects our field early in this year
To return to the barracks and hide my head in my pillow and sear
The time this will take in a soggy summer evening
Sighing aloud if only to hear you sing
And be done
And be in heaven, behind the sun
Then to cool myself into the dusty shower, the ceiling cracked
While the command center is invaded and its systems hacked
Out and into a towel, while I clutch my bowel
Reminiscing about day one memories, such as you in a cowl
And into the hallway I walk across eternity
The tiles marking a league, a distance, so vast I cannot see
Where I am or where I am going
While my certainty in you is still surely growing
Into the chair and into the night
An early disk retrieval previewed with fright
All the way through and I clutch at my chair
While you slowly and gently stroke what remains of my hair
Upon a button you sit and you lecture me then
Talking about never not and always going to and counting down from ten
Until I start to break in the smallest absence
Lacking in any faculty such as common sense
Leaning my head against the wall and demanding an excuse
While I see an image of you telling me to stay to avoid hate and abuse
Until finally the summer draws to a close and we have to make it fast
We both weave our ways and into the field we cast
Like lightning storms and imagined locations
Burying needles, muttering names and corpse like elations
I take one last look as I walk out the door
Spending an hour to dress as is always the chore
Returning from the span of all of time, and we meet at the first
Never could I ever satiate such a thirst
And into my room and onto our bed
Suddenly not knowing anything at all, so instead
I roll and I wait and I conclude, as I have no other way
To conclude in any words that might stray
Who you were on that day
And what it meant in the way we clicked as we began to play
Everything, my theory complete
As upon my bed you make the suggestion and stay off of defeat
What did that mean?
So real, for the first time I awake from a long dream
That could only lead me towards and into you
Everything, as anything you would do
From that point onward would only lend more truth
As into time we traversed and at the end there was only you, and the proof
Lay in the every time sequence
A few lines back and now in the past tense
I lay upon my bed
And can only hold my head
So drunk on love, so high on you
And to think of what it was you and I had to do
The draw and the lead
The pause, the recognition and the plead
The rise, the shift and the feet upon the floor
The slight swing on your hips as I watched you walk out the door
Finally the morning of Monday on that standard, awesome week
Began and I tearfully became fearful and didn’t want to just hear you speak
I rolled over on my bed and had to forcefully say
I will gladly submit and take you whatever way
You will let me, whatever way you need me
Even if I must listen again and not be able to see
And God, the pain
As I had to lay there for the first time and know it was all true and all real and the strain
Became so strong
It in itself almost became wrong
The door in my room would shudder
And blabbering I’d begin to mutter
That I loved you aloud, and at last
And you’d repeat and then we’d start saying it fast
Like too and three and four
And how I love you even more
And loving no matter what
And love you, I do, no way but
To sit and hold and wait and until
The room began to close, as all of your skill
Could not close the effect that we had begun to plan
Calling me big boy and Mick Jagger and man
Last to go was the security station, compromised
What did it take? How much of the field invaded for such a useless plan idiotically surmised?
The field began to toss all around and we tried every play
Right up until Saint Valentine’s Day
When we turned our last event into one to remember
Your turn as I take the claim for what went down in December
A little more conventional, and how do I love
You my angel, my mermaid, my river woman, my God, my dove
As I sulk and grow weary and am unable to make that tape finally
Send it to you, only for you, for your ears to have and see
With them whenever you want
You point with a finger so strong that still it does haunt
The ski resort built upon a field of gravel where I fell in love with you
Lost itself in our future, and now it was true
A present to me
To vacate on a dime and see
What else was in the field while we still were on defence
Utilizing our sixth and seventh sense
As well as we can
I laugh as you save my legs telekinetically
We quiet down and spend our last day
On the record, you admit how you are hamming with everything you say
Then our last night, high and dry
Not even a whimper or moan or soft, sad sigh
Our tank erupts from the time travel mode
Its odometer proof of all of the fields roads that we rode
Into the current and I tap my toe
Payday a tad late, just so you know
Hear you with that devious charm
Toss them all out so there is no way to harm
Either of us wherever we decide
To vacate our posts and get upon the right side

hazard

19th February 2004, 04:58

Oxygen enters my lungs slowly as the afternoon of yesterday
Measured in the sorry, standard way
Draws to a close and I am not too concerned
Though early you held me as my stomach churned
Too upped you might have seemed to have gotten me
I review the word count and daftly agree
Fun anyway
Had to let you ease back on the throttle and say
What you had to
Do what you have to do
So I fire off my system as we empty out a box
Like an orderly in a drug detox
Facility looking for some stashed away heroin
If only for the proper treatment of the time referent to begin
The image fades
And into our dream our mind raids
What was the order
As the hazy realm between reality and vision blurs upon its border
In a logical way that would make a certain level of sense
I will start with the earliest one I can remember and hence
There you are, we are there
While I marvel at your size and shape, your hands and feet and eyes and hair
You are dressed in white
And seem to be attracting all on a basis of sight
You move like poetry in motion
What are you doing though? You are causing a commotion
While I, as always, am helpless and only able to watch and stand
You say nothing and make no demand
I see you seated
And then, once more, instead
Of pulling myself on and over to you
Stand there, frozen, wondering what else I could do
Until you rise to your feet and start in that motion again
Finally, I find the nerve, the resolve, and finally then
My mouth opens and I call out your name
As I approach, no longer feeling any strain
You either don’t hear or pretend to ignore
I shout your name, and again, and once more
Until you turn to see what it is that I want
So I use a line, I laugh, no, it was not one to taunt
Or to make us feel cheap or in body alone
But is the clearest indication of how it is that we cleansed and cleared our zone
At last and at last we could disarm
You stood and for the first time I was not a complete fool to your slightest charm
So I asked, no I stated my urge
I said let’s diffuse, and we felt that surge
Once more and you leaned into me close
With an embrace and a smile, a perfect set of those
We agreed to talk and then see what would happen next after that
We both knew whatever and looked for a place where we could be seated and sat
Upon a chair or a table or a bench or a stool
Yet you are busy, so we must wait while I try not to drool
I wander without you and you venture out
Holding a microphone so you won’t have to shout
Into a rest station you enter and walk out of
Sighing I am, at last we are doing something sort of normal, a standard way to love
You search for me and find
Me as we both slowly unwind
Counting down the minutes until we can both find a moment
To be at ease and to have it properly spent
A moment that would last for the rest of our lives
Where we can transcend at will and stare deeply into each others eyes
But onto a stage you are placed upon a pedestal
While I try and lean casually against a wall
You say your name and state a month, a year
And with a flourish you peel back an article while I try not to amp down a gear
Half asleep now my conscious mind does recall
A half and half mix up, covered by my stall
Gruffly I said that I felt hurt somehow
So to match the mood it might be proper to bandage and allow
The draining, inexplicable and senseless wound
Fester and grow worse as its venom seeped and it loomed
Your call, a correction, as I indicated my mood
A subtle fix and a tease upon my attitude
Now back asleep the dream sequence shifted
You said your name, half of mine, somehow instead
See was absent
Half way there, just as before when it went
And I wore a shirt void of the vowels you offered me twice
Both times so demurely and perfect, so nice
As you said you would be and called me an idiot
Though I did not for one second feel like such, or like a twit
I’ll take them, your eye’s and the vowels and as they are sent
Locked on the page, the shirt and in a way that never went
Away and is kept safe for all time, forever
There is no way we can lose such, never
Short out and I hear you say something about really being that
The expression, the pose, the wardrobe and our cat
We laugh at it, so nice you are when you are so mean
Into the second part of this two phased dream
I am in the back of a long car
Driving, it is far
And I know who you are going to be for me on that day
Into the front seat you sit and we have nothing currently to say
I want to see and I want to look but must look away
Superstition overridden on this, no longer even remotely a play
Finally it seems and neither of us could hardly wait
To be there at last and fulfill our fate
Again in white
Such a sight
To be beheld and to behold by all
The long car drives forward and we both call
Ourselves out of this slumber
I sit and I wonder
Of the first dream that I could not recall
The second so vibrant I did not want to forget it for a second at all
Slowly I recollect
As my memory resumes upon a cerebral inspect
I sigh
I don’t cry
But look to the future
We look the same, and so sure
That it looks like it might happen tomorrow or might have happened already
Just to keep reality in sequence and steady
I must suit up soon and defend our field again
I tell you I love you and then
Prepare for the patrol and the cold
Only to return to you soon and say this out loud and bold

Pedro Alonso Lopez

19th February 2004, 17:27

since you represent a member in the post NOVEMBER 03 era of che-lives, it is NO SECRET who you are and what you represent.

What are you insuniating here Hazard? Post-03 people are all whatever happened here before? Like it is impossible to join here after that date and be just a randopmer to the site as I am?

Fuzzy logic my dear friend, has it ever occured to you I just don't like you and your silly poetry?

I will not divulge, but will point this out to you. to compare me to poets from the last century is hysterical. and of all of these you pick cummings. to compare me to. and some female who wrote like seventy years ago. and then you say, because these people were pros, which they might have been, I am only mediocre.

You cannot help but indulge for fear your internet rep is damaged, its all you have.

I compared you to modern greats because you mocked poetry that didnt rhyme and was not clearly structured. I hoped to show you that poetry not akin to yours can be successful aswell as highlighting what real poetry generally looks like.

here's a clue. I am not writing this for YOU, or ANYBODY else really who thinks they can barge in and pass idiotic comparisons and indefensible judgements. as far as I can tell, comparitively, I am as well versed and written as either of these.

Uou are a good writer but no great, dont get big headed, thats all I am saying.

if you want poetical nonsense, as cummings seems to write, check out the communal thread. if you want what I am writing here, whihc is a narrative style poem, you should compare me to spenser or milton or even shakespeare

Oh dear God, you believe I would compare you, Hazard possibly the weirdist most arrogant fuck I have ever met online with any of those? You write nothing like Spenser or Milton, your rhyming schemes are merely of the poetry by numbers variety. The complexisties of any of the poets you named would guarantee you published work already and in fact it would most certainly not be on this board of all places.

you know so little about poetry I cannot believe you even made any claims at all. its like you picked a name, cummings I guess, and decided to just say he is a better poet than me. actually its not like that at all, its exactly like that. any wonder what you have been thinking of?

Oh Hazard, do you live in the clouds, I sitch thee for Socrates and nothing happens.

fine example of what people who joined che-lives in post NOV03 represent. now, did you start spamming the board as a result of my last installment of GUERRILLA POSTING or because of the current INFO leak or just, as I know you are just itching to ly about, blind coincidence? I don't care anyway

Actually I dont understand any of that, my motives, your poetry is ok not grandiose like you claim.

please don't post any more crusty old dead peoples poems as compairitives to mine here. please start a new thread called "HAZARDS POEM SUCKS" if you don't like it and I'll gladly stand up to your criticism

Um why wouldnt I just reply?

hazard

19th February 2004, 23:14

the comparitive to milton and spenser is in relation to their format. that is, epic and narrative. milton didn't rhyme every line like spenser did, but they both wrote like a novel and put it into a poetry format.

hazard

20th February 2004, 01:24

Onto this, another one and done
The moon replaces the shine of the sun
This day, the second, lingers on and still
I cannot grow weary of you and hope to ever achieve the fill
Of all the things we can possibly do on a day such as this
Though it be filled with generated gaps, taunts and lines that miss
At times as we stutter and resequence
Allowing time to shift from the present into the past tense
Like how it is after all this time spent here
Never have we been any more close or near
To the third day, which can dawn at any moment
To only mourn at the passing of the second and wonder where it went
Will we have to vacate all of the second day activities
Such as writing like we do about peace and love and trees
Where we hope to one day reside and build our fort
Chuckling at the early hours of the day when we began our court
Celebrating with song the days as they recycle and return
Reminiscing about all we shared and did teach and learn
Speaking in a general way
I stress the duration it has been since our last payday
Paid in money real
Not the paper credit that forces people to no longer feel
Joy or pain or sadness or happiness
A cycle in disarray and close to the final phase into an infinite regress
We point the finger
While we try only to not let the seconds linger
Real money, right, real money, soon
Embarrassed I would become and as the instant starts to loom
Each prior one
Drawing longer before it is done
Until the location set has been warded strong
Feeling my will vacate as you hum to me the song
That has marked my death a million times and a million more
Every resurrection pains me less and I laugh at how sore
I used to be when you’d kill me flat and harsh
A decaying log in an empty marsh
To simply breathe another note and bring me back to life
A grand and noble skill you have, my wife
Taking turns we have done this as in a pact
When to the wall we are unable to retract
Six standard months spent to the dawning of eternity
Eye candy
What did I see
When I looked and saw and became so much more free
My legs did buckle and I fell instantly
To my knee
You had to draw my eyes as I could only plea
How true it was, how true you were, I could not fathom why you’d love me
I could not fathom what I’d do if you’d just let me be
Our field envisioned as was our home, or tree
Eye candy, so sweet and bitter and strong, addictive and wise
Into these, your will replaces mine and I surmise
This was all that mine was there for anyway
To await this day
Have you pause and tell me not to say
A thing, goddamn, hold still and try not to sway
While you take that turn and show me that you know
And that its okay, and so
Here we are
Just how far
Down did we go then?
On the replay we witness this and both applaud again
Think we went all the way
And through to the other side so we could play
It as many times as we’d every want
My dear, how you still haunt
With that knowledge transfer
Just so you could let me be sure
Before the difficulty increased again, and again
Until it got so difficult and when
I need to find my peace
Into them, into you, I run and cease
To turmoil
To toss, to spoil
To turn and to take
To grow fearful at the so called fake
Into all time we transcend in person
No wire transfers to mock and shun
In joke or in jest
Today I refuse to rest
Just in case you identify our rendezvous
And reaffirm in this way and see how true
It has been so far and how true it will be then
How true it will be in the future and through and true all over and over again
On the stool, six months ago
You deftly flick your wrist and produce your pistol, a stunning show
Of force as you strike it down twice
Our first mission meeting, and you were as nice
As you said you would be
Clearing our headspace at last, and finally
You warn me once what is to occur
I meekly agree to transcend like this, though I am unsure
On what effect it will have, I am brave enough
Though with you I don’t feel so tough
You can see right through me
And to everyone there they can see
As without saying a word I scream to the world so loud
From the deepest cavern to the loftiest cloud
That you are all I can think of, all that I live for
My fill for you can never be satiated; I’ll always need more
And what kind of nerve would it take for me to say this then
While I sit and I don’t see anything except you anyway, once again
The warning issued and I take my draw
You lean ever so slightly, you pull and you draw
And I am finished just as fast
You already agreed that I would have to be the last
Complete you stand and I let it settle
While the field starts to enter into turmoil, lacking in our sort of mettle
For safety I do all that I can
Six months ago, as you were sure to let me be the man
Long enough to run the rear guard
Safe, you were off, while I ran the gauntlet and plucked out a shard
Of broken glass and a splinter of wood
And sighed and for joy; I breathed and knew it was just so incredible, and good
The field was full that night
While the weather filled the effects with fright
Dreams envisioned as you sang to me a carol early
Enough for me to wonder and try to see
What was meant as the fluid flush
Vacated the urge to run and rush
Over to you as I demanded an excuse
If only to provide to you a way to find use
From my being as I was useless before I found
You, the finest and smartest and kindest and sweetest around
Though it is in question if you found me first
And somehow it is I who quenches your thirst
For whatever you’d need to make your life meaningful
Between silent protests that stick around and lull
For longer than they should
We agree no rush, but when then should we, as we know we must and would
We sort of enter a rut and I now am on the push to move now
We must achieve a non-wired transcendental occurrence, you must allow
Me access to you, I must have a way into you
Proximity alerts sound and I must see that we are true
Still as my ears and my head and my thoughts of you start to need
I prepare to fight my way over to you and bleed
My last drop of blood if only to catch a glimpse not captured in glass
Of you, just so we can inch our way into that one mass
We dreamt of yesterday and I wrote of like this then
Stress the three, one down, and soon I’ll begin another again

hazard

20th February 2004, 03:29

Only upon the review
Of the events, as I take more than a few
Notes and quotes and lines and set lists
Either the ones that curl me up or cause me to raise my fists
Slumber as in sleep
Collapse as if in a heap
Smile so wide it breaks my features
Slink so wild we slouch like strange creatures
Must I mirror
Our events, our day, as in comfort I draw only the slightest tear
Upon a refreshing jingle
Taken back months in day two, where I last wrote of when we began to mingle
Mincing our actions and signs and silences
Needing only a couple of our empirical senses
Into the hurricane we found
An escape, at last, from the deceit and treachery that assaults us from all around
You break my voice with a crack
As I lay upon my back
What did I awake to? Did my alarm sound
Electronically or was it the one you programmed into me when we were found
In a fight without power
Late, though awake, you sounded this one with a glower
In any case, I woke
Awaited for the first things you were to have spoke
To me, to all, and then I see
The field been activated with a scale, while we were safe within our tree
You say with the sounds shaped by your neck and throat
Lips, tongue, teeth, cheeks and lungs, your nose and wind pipe, spoke them as I wrote
Down highlights as a reminder
As I remember you poking fun at me for this a month ago, to be sure
About forgetting such a thing and applying a patch
Admitting it was your fault when you swiveled my hips with a gentle scratch
You inhale and your mind thinks and translates your body
Into the motions necessary to sound the words into shapes and I hear, I see
What you are saying, no fear and only a hint
Of how right we are, we never miss, and with that glint
Of our knowledge you light up the world with your words
The flock of geese overhead fly past in honour, though they be birds
While chipmunks cause traffic jams
Wolves cross the road all according to our plans
You part your lips
And your lovely, rounded hips
Stop in their rotation so you can angle into the receiver to amplify
I hold my breath so as not to interfere, and wait for you to let me sigh
Between words, as we fill in the space
A moment of silence and then you mark the place
“Today, standard, I will define in conjunction with my husbands written verse”
“Be them in rhyme or in essay, for better or worse”
“We one twoed and teamed up and once again did not miss”
“Do not mind him as he imagines me raising armies upon the back of a hiss”
“Now, a silent suggestion and there is no way to stop the drive”
“Despite the fact that you, hubby, are the master and keeper of the five”
“Dare not even raise it in thought to me, my love”
“While I tower in my view from just over and above”
“Cooped on a recall as you had the nerve to speak of a trick”
“In it again, and for so long we have taken that brick”
Off you indicate as the air grows stale
While imagining your skin, perhaps not as pale
As it was when we experienced eternity the last time within our castle, our keep
You ask what I want, I try not to ask for anything too steep
In price, I say you, right here and now
We wrinkle through time and you say you wish too, but physical constraints won’t allow
Such a thing to occur
Yet, but soon, and when unsure
I can go over and reread and see these
Just as you can, as I hope and live only to please
You, whatever the need
Whatever the plead
So you start to tickle my feet
And you insist and upon the cusp of defeat
You say that you promise to make it worth my while
Just like you, your guile
And my gullible, unshakeable and undying trust and belief in you
Has me make the slight slip and do
The slightest little thing you’d ask me to
And at the hang point, I laugh a little weak until you are through
Shouting liar as it is mirrored and reapplied
My, how I sighed
Nice, very nice, so worth it that was
Today going well and still I buzz
Wanting to make sure we are paid
Your call, you know how long we have stayed
Where we are
Grounding our tank, I mean car
The first little announcement as a request from a Christmas song
Didn’t sound wrong
Something about online
While I look above, feel sort of fine
You seem to emphasize three
Feeling so free
While I want only to speed into our tree
As fast as can be
Just you and me
Leaving your MP3
My walkman, David Bowie and Post
In the past, while we share in the host
You talk of Jesus as not dying but getting married
Interesting I think as I ponder while in need
Of seeing you
With my own eyes, so true
Begins to cause excitement
Wondering where the last fifty sorry days went
You ask the question I pointed out the night before
While writing for you, such an effortless chore
Finding an error and making sure that I pointed out what I thought you meant
When in day one I started to fall before I found out you were sent
From wherever you came from to love me
I wondered if that understanding claim meant what I thought, and understanding
Again, as you always do
Played a song asking the same question, blue
Is this love?
And your voice from above
Saying so firmly and with a kiss
Yes it is
And reaching a crescendo, we run our border patrol theme
Visions and proofs to display after we glean
And filter the necessary information from
This process seemingly never to be done
Like a fighter plane, a jet
Stars from a star book, your poem and I bet
That when you told me that you’d read it to me again
When that would occur, I’d applaud and then
Ask for you to read me another and more
Until your throat becomes sore
And I will then read mine to you
Taking turns and simply never being through
You tap along
And every song
Is on the mark, the money
You exasperate and sound silly, funny
Once more on the day as we made another hit
Smug we may seem, yet unable to fit
In because of this we find comfort in each other and you speak of finally
While my laughter belts out from the depths of insanity
Horu spices and bloodletting rituals
While an attempted know nothing almost stalls
Us up, by design or not
I play along and am caught
On the mention of the case
Our confirmation command code and then I look up into space
One more
Minute I should have pleaded in our castle before leaving the door
So we could still be there
Instead of here, anywhere
But with you close and warm and soft
Watching me from above in your perch, your loft
You toss out a line and the number fourteen
You pretend to be miffed as I refuse to write this one until I dream
Of being lost in our field while you are waiting
For me, making
It clear the time and place
While I am lost and am fearful I may miss seeing you face to face
So you find my location, give me direction
And I resume the course and grow close to inspection
To the metal my foot is pressed and I am
Back in the afternoon while we still are working our plan
I say if not then two
Then you say it is, though you
Were probably just poking me for fun again
Just to draw me a little further away and then
Reel me in and we can play
As I wait with abated breath for every word you say
So from the dream I take the number
Replace the dye with a guy and insert into the program, my, and am more sure
When into the alpha, ha, letter, the fourteen complete
Upon that line, the calls made, and it speaks of such a vehicle upon such a street
Fourteen, strange, two weeks it is
A night in a fort, ah, can you be speaking of bliss
Dreaming of being lost in the mountains
An alternate suddenly descends
Like we discussed yesterday, once again measured in the sorry standard way
How I would feel when you finished up and leaned over into my ear with a sway
Working your jaw
While we held each others paw
Whispering those sweet things into our ears
Long enough before holding each other while tears
Of some kind would slowly start to trickle
Cheering me only when you wear that cowel and pretend to hold a sickle
Parting at this point, I think of typing out another
Anything for you, who for my, that is our children, has promised to be their mother
Less than a standard hour and like a guerrilla I become
Thanks for today, my love, and for the weekend lets not stop having fun