Where did you meet your partner?

[Lucretia]

I've been pretty reclusive and depressed recently. The reason is that a long-term relationship I've been in the past seven years ended a couple of months ago.

The past couple of weeks I've finally moved on emotionally and am ready to start lhe process of lookiing around for other potential partners/lovers. But here's my issue.

I'm pretty good looking, and still relatively young. I also look young. So I am able to find dates with relative ease. However, I am not really interested in the hookup thing, and for some reason I tend to attract people with that goal. This is exacerbated by the fact that I'm gay, and in my experience gay guys seem to be interested in casual sexual encounters more than straight people

The problem is that I want to find somebody who will be a friend as well as a lover, somebody who wants to build a serious relationship. But I am not really sure where to look for somebody who shares my interests and worldview. The only activists in my area - the group I would expect to share my ideals and interests - tend to be much older people (burnt out hippies and the like).

So based on your experiences, where should I look?

[Deicide]

How young is relatively young?

Now call me captain obvious, if you will, but the 'best' way to find people with your interests is by participating in what interests you. For example, do you like art? go join an art group. Do you like learning new languages? go do a language course and so on. It beats meeting someone at the bar or pub..


I try not to give out information that specific online. Why do you ask?

Fair enough. I'm a nosy git.

[Lucretia]

How young is relatively young?

I try not to give out information that specific online. Why do you ask?

[Nox]

Online dating. I know that on plentyoffish you'll be able to search specifically for gay people who want a serious relationship.

[Per Levy]

my finace found me on the internet, we started out as friends wrote each other from time to time and after 1 1/2 years we got together and are together since(4 1/2 years together now). funny thoug we never met, to poor for that and we live to far away(she north america me europe) but with a bit of luck we should have our first vacation together this year, yay.

[Sasha]

i was studying to become a theatre teacher, in your 3th year you make a complete play with amateur actors, to my disgust most of my classmates got involved with one of their actors which is apperently traditional for this project and no'one thinks twice about as most of the actors are as old or older than the directors but which creeped me out as i used to work as a primary school teacher before and just in general am pretty big on the whole equalty/no power imbalance thing.
anyways, long story short, instead the girl working the bar at the theatre we where performing at caught my eye, turned out she was just new in town and involved with squatting, after a few months we became steady and now 3 years later we are living together.,..

[hatzel]

Interestingly enough all my relationships seem to be characterised by disagreement over the answer to this exact question...

Me: I remember when I first met you, at that party...
Them: No, you already knew me by then. It was your party at your place!
Me: Did I invite you?
Them: Probably...
Me: ...well that's definitely the first time I remember actually noticing you...
Them: Aww. Thanks. Dickhead.

For example...

[Lobotomy]

it always happens when you're not looking for it.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

At a Queer Teen Support group. We exchanged information and began talking, the rest was history.lol

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Online dating. I know that on plentyoffish you'll be able to search specifically for gay people who want a serious relationship.

Am on that website... have had nearly nothing but old perverts hit on me and the occasional younger heavy set person. I suppose I could try and spruce up my profile sometime but seeing as how I am already taken I wouldn't see the point.

Related bit: my brother found his wife on that site.

[Nox]

Am on that website... have had nearly nothing but old perverts hit on me and the occasional younger heavy set person. I suppose I could try and spruce up my profile sometime but seeing as how I am already taken I wouldn't see the point.

Related bit: my brother found his wife on that site.

I don't actually use that site btw, I've never had a partner, I just said it as a suggestion for the OP. :)

I will probably meet someone in university (I hope), if not then I'll probably use online dating.

[ForgedConscience]

I will probably meet someone in university (I hope)

Ditto... if I even study enough to go. If not I'm am fucked, and not in any of the good ways.

[WanderingCactus]

In a graveyard. He's a little old for me (and stiff as hell in bed!) but he's a damn good listener.

[Art Vandelay]

Met my gf in high school, not sure how she puts up with my depressed and apathetic ass all the time but she does, over 3 years later and were still together.

As for that plenty of fish site I have never used it, but my gf's friend made her a profile one day as a joke and she got nothing but old perverts sending pictures of their junk and people looking for ons.

[Trap Queen Voxxy]

I'm pretty good looking, and still relatively young. I also look young. So I am able to find dates with relative ease. However, I am not really interested in the hookup thing, and for some reason I tend to attract people with that goal. This is exacerbated by the fact that I'm gay, and in my experience gay guys seem to be interested in casual sexual encounters more than straight people

I would necessarily say that, I would say it's probably pretty even as a lot of my straight friends are total skeezes. I think it's probably more where you look if anything but it is extremely hard.


The problem is that I want to find somebody who will be a friend as well as a lover, somebody who wants to build a serious relationship. But I am not really sure where to look for somebody who shares my interests and worldview. The only activists in my area - the group I would expect to share my ideals and interests - tend to be much older people (burnt out hippies and the like). So based on your experiences, where should I look?

We're in the same boat mate, honestly I have no idea. I've tried to completely discount any possibility of finding a relationship via the bar route as that's just silly and absurd. I've tried to ask friends if they know anyone and try to network that way; this seems a lot better in that your friends know you and your likes, habits and so on plus it can help you start networking.

I also would be willing to guess we're in the same age group which is to say when you're in your early twenties it doesn't seem like anyone's ready to be serious.

[Le Rouge]

Met my GF last semester. We were in the same philosophy class. The first day i met her, i knew she was the kind of girl i like. I thought i had a chance with her but it ended up that a few days later she had a BF. So i told myself : Fuck off, i'll find another person.

This semester, i learned that she wasn't with her BF anymore. It was in fact a clue she was giving me.
I asked her facebook, and told her that i wanted us to do something one day. We started "dating". We had a lot of fun. That's how we met. :)

[Ostrinski]

If there's one thing in this world I cannot stand it is couples.

[Art Vandelay]

If there's one thing in this world I cannot stand it is couples.

Interesting.

[black magick hustla]

i've never had a real long term relationship. i've had a TON of weird casual dating things tho. the one that lasted longer lasted for like 4 months or so, she was some drugged out hippie art school dropout but i hate her now. i don't know how i feel about this, i think i am just emotionally closed in general. a lot of couple shit is really artificial though, so i don't know if i am missing out. i like having friends and i like having sex sometimes beyond that idk. i think i am pretty funny and "smart" and i am not mean at all, so i think i guess ill have a real long term relationship but for now i don't really mind

[Dennis the 'Bloody Peasant']

Met my fiancee and baby momma online, random forum site that's not even around anymore

[Devrim]

It beats meeting someone at the bar or pub..

I met my current partner in a pub. What is wrong with it?

Devrim

[Raúl Duke]

me=forever alone