I need dating advice

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

I know absolutely nothing about dating.(that is the easiest way to get my point out)

[Thirsty Crow]

You see a person you're attracted to, walk up to them and say "hi, I'm X, and what's your name?", and then you watch for the signals. If the person squirms and shows signs of being uneasy, you might proceed in two ways:

1) try to find a common topic of conversation - for instance, you notice the person wears a Green Day patch, and you swallow your disgust at the band (I should hope so) and comment on the excellent way the patch is incorporated into the overall aesthetics of their clothing

2) the GTFO route - just mumble something and get the fuck out of that awkward situation

Repeat ad nauseam until you stumble across a person showing good signs, and then:

1) the subtle and mysterious route - produce a witty comment on just how you'd like to continue the interaction in a way or another, but DO NOT ask for a number or give yours (this, of course, depends on the information you were provided with, and if you have an idea of where can you see the person, for instance, regular places of visit like cafes, then and only then this route is an option), and an appreciative comment, alongside the expression of a wish to see the person again, is obligatory when you say that you gotta go now. I should also note that this route also depends on your physical appearance.

2) gimme yer number route - but be careful not to be pushy, you can use language to your own advantage and say something like "I was wondering whether you'd like to go for a cup of coffee or something, but then I'd be needing your number lol".

There is more advice, and you'll get it soon.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

When on a date be yourself and do not try too hard. Usually is you do you will mess up and say/do something which throws the other person off.When doing activities that cost money consider splitting the bill soas not to enforce gender stereotypes.For a date activity something simple like a movie,bowling,or physical activity.Humor is good but don't venture into controversial waters until you get an understand of where the other person stands on issues (though jokes could be good way to find out, albeit risky).

Try and make sure your date last for a couple hours, otherwise I do not believe you will have much time to make much of a connection or to understand that person even superficially.

[Nox]

or physical activity.

seks!!!!

[TheGodlessUtopian]

seks!!!!

Not what I meant.lol

[citizen of industry]

My advice, just use your best judgement and try your best. Don't overthink it. I'm akward, too shy, and not especially attractive, but I still managed to have girlfriends, eventually got married and had kids, etc. Good memories! Just be yourself, don't try to be a charming, sexy comedian like on television, because people aren't really like that. They are mostly ugly and crazy. Even the guy/girl you like, they probably cover it up with fashionable clothing, make up, etc. and hide their craziness, but actually they are probably ugly and crazy.

[Lenina Rosenweg]

Keep things low key. Don't look at a person you are attracted to as a potential sexual/romantic partner but rather as someone you want to get to know better.

"Hey, you wanna get together some time?" may be a good way to ask someone out. If this is possible a lunch or coffee date may be easier.

Just relax and have a good time.

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

IT have decided I have another question. Where/what do I go/do on a date?
Good stuff so far. If I actually ask this girl out it will really help my view of myself.

This seems like a really stupid question from my end, so thank you for the info so far:)

[Lobotomy]

IT have decided I have another question. Where/what do I go/do on a date?
Good stuff so far. If I actually ask this girl out it will really help my view of myself.

This seems like a really stupid question from my end, so thank you for the info so far:)

It's not a stupid question. Many people feel awkward about dating, but most are just good at hiding it.

As far as what to do on a date, I know a lot of people choose to do this, but in my opinion you should never go out to a movie on a first date. You can't really talk to the person or get to know them at all.

[Le Rouge]

Yeah, going to a movie or going eating is too formal for a first date.

[Lenina Rosenweg]

IT have decided I have another question. Where/what do I go/do on a date?
Good stuff so far. If I actually ask this girl out it will really help my view of myself.

This seems like a really stupid question from my end, so thank you for the info so far:)

It might depend on mutual interests. What are you and your date interested in?


Anyway some ideas could be a coffee shop, have coffee and chat for a while. Maybe browse in some offbeat store or shop afterwards.If you have similar interests in music maybe browse in a music store or a used record store-it can be fun to look up obscure bands.

Sometimes larger bookstores have talks or musicians play.That could make for an ideal cheap date.

A visit to a zoo might be interesting although this may depend on how you or your date feel about zoos. An amusement park, as cheesy as it sounds, can be a lot of fun.

A movie and a cheap dinner afterwards might not be a bad idea, although if you feel a bit shy or awkward at first you can save that till later.The good thing about a movie is that you don't have to say much, just watch the movie and occasionally comment.

A lot might depend on mutual interests but if you live in a city, especially one with a university or college, its easy to find cheap things to do. Suburbs and small towns can be difficult but even here its possible to find something.A lot of small towns have interesting community theater.

Keep things low key and have fun. Of course its hard to generalize but girls often like guys with a sense of humor. Enjoy yourself and try to get to know the other person.

[¿Que?]

Let me just say this. Some people don't drink. Fair enough. But drinking is a great way for two people to lower their defenses and loosen up with each other.

You don't like drinking. Fine. But that's the truth. Not a whole lot, but a little. Two or three.

If that's impossible, then somewhere or something that will produce the same effect. Lowering your guard, loosening up with each other.

[PC LOAD LETTER]

I second the grabbing a drink idea.

If you don't drink, and he/she doesn't drink ... where's the fun in that?

[Shotgun Opera]

Best advice regarding women/dating I have ever received;

"Dont overstretch your abilities to impress someone; they're going to expect that to be the norm."

"Dont lie to women, men suck at it. If you're a man and you think "No I dont", you suck at it worse than other men."

"Someone willing to cheat with you is probably willing to cheat ON you."

"Sometimes you just need a night that leaves heel marks in the refrigerator door."


I've found these to be sage advice when it comes to interacting with my lady friends, I'm polyamorous so I get a little more practice.

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

I'm 15 and I don't think she would enjoy drinking very much.

I'm Enjoying reading. Thank you so far

[TheGodlessUtopian]

I don't think there is really anything too formal or informal but if you want something simple maybe hang out at one of your houses and watch a movie? A good snack and mild conversation will crack the ice a bit.

[NoOneIsIllegal]

Don't do a movie on the first date. If you're going steady with someone, movie-dates are fine, but if you're trying to know someone or get acquainted, movies aren't a good idea. Save this for a few dates later.

Find a right balance between serious and fun/funny. Or at least, that's what I think girls, and I myself (a male), tend to like. People like to goof around and be casual, it helps loosen the mood. However, a person also needs to find someone they can confide in and know they're there for them. Find a decent balance, don't ever take yourself too seriously except when the situation calls for it. They need to know when you can be there for them.

[NewLeft]

Oh don't do movies, that's overdoing it. play it chill, go to some gathering

[Nox]

What should you talk about on the first date? I can hardly keep a conversation for 2 minutes let alone 2 hours.

[Le Rouge]

The thing with going to see a movie is that you won't have much time to talk to/know her/him. During the movie his/her attention will be on the movie, not on you.

Well, all this is badly written but you get the point.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

What should you talk about on the first date? I can hardly keep a conversation for 2 minutes let alone 2 hours.

Which is why I advocate a movie: jabs and commentary here and there will do some small wonders;a good place for humor and observation,at least with me.

[Ostrinski]

Discuss the impending revolution.

But in all seriousness, I think the most important part is to have confidence. One's performance in anything is measured by how pragmatic they are going about it. It's harder if you are really shy/sensitive like me, but approach it like a project. Think about the task at hand. 15 is a volatile time, and if you let unchecked emotions control your course of action, you're just going to flop around like a dying fish.

[Ostrinski]

What should you talk about on the first date? I can hardly keep a conversation for 2 minutes let alone 2 hours.This question is much less of an issue if you aren't worried about embarrassing yourself or building yourself into some artificially designed image. Just be yourself, talk about what comes to mind. Have fun. Jump on in, the water's great.

[MotherCossack]

oh!!!!
this thread is making me feel sooooo old!!!!
can i just say...
a little thing i have sussed out....
you never stop wanting to be doing all this nonsense [dating or whatever]
it is just that you get too old to be taken seriously...
all you lucky youngsters [NO! I AM NOT BITTER! ONLY FECK OFF WITH ALL THAT LIFE AHEAD OF YOU... BAAA... HUM-BUG...]

Seriously, no joke... i certainly dont seem to be showing any sign of growing old gracefully....
that said... my advice is:
life is too short... far too bloody short... unless you are seriously young like about12... just go for it... and if you make a dick of yourself... well at least you know that you are alive!!!

[Pretty Flaco]

I'm 15 and I don't think she would enjoy drinking very much.

I'm Enjoying reading. Thank you so far

snatch a 40 off a homeless guy and then share it with her and she'll think you're a gentleman. show her chivalry ain't dead. ;)

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

(no homeless here, they are in prisons:()
Thank you for all the advice. Makes me feel like not the only person like this.
Just keep the info comming

[Zav]

Look for people at a venue/event/whatever that you enjoy, that way you'll have something to talk about.

[black magick hustla]

idk i invite ppl to beers and then ramble

[GatesofLenin]

Just to clarify something about taking a date to the movies ... adult movies are a bad idea ... :cool:

[Le Rouge]

Just to clarify something about taking a date to the movies ... adult movies are a bad idea ... :cool:

Oh really? :sneaky: You destroyed my plans.

[Kitty_Paine]

Just to clarify something about taking a date to the movies ... adult movies are a bad idea ... :cool:

Uh, not true... one of the leading factors in determining whether or not I'm going to date a guy more than once depends on if he took me to an adult movie on the first date...

If he doesn't, well... I just don't see a future between us, plain and simple... And on top of that, how was the production value? Is it up for an Adult Movie Award? All important factors....

[Vanguard1917]

2) gimme yer number route - but be careful not to be pushy, you can use language to your own advantage and say something like "I was wondering whether you'd like to go for a cup of coffee or something, but then I'd be needing your number lol".

That's not gonna work, because sane people generally don't say 'lol' in everyday, verbal speech. :) This, on the other hand, is tried and tested:

mCiS_CMShRs

[Leftsolidarity]

(no homeless here, they are in prisons:()
Thank you for all the advice. Makes me feel like not the only person like this.
Just keep the info comming

Me and my gf (and we've only been dating like 2 weeks so it's still like new and stuff) like to just chill at each others' houses. Even before we were dating we found it most enjoyable to just make a pizza, talk, cuddle up and watch a movie.

When we actually go out and do something (which isn't often) it usually involves some sort of intoxicants to make it not lame as fuck cuz we live in the suburbs.

Honestly, dates have never been my thing. If you want casual stuff I'd say like getting a coffee or just roaming around town would be good.

Fuck being formal (unless he/she's into that). Just be yourself and hang out with each other.

[feral bro]

Uh, not true... one of the leading factors in determining whether or not I'm going to date a guy more than once depends on if he took me to an adult movie on the first date...

If he doesn't, well... I just don't see a future between us, plain and simple... And on top of that, how was the production value? Is it up for an Adult Movie Award? All important factors....
is this meant to be funny?

[Kitty_Paine]

is this meant to be funny?

Was this meant to be condescending?

But seriously, I can't tell... and as far as my comment goes, I wasn't serious - obviously - so I believe whether or not it was funny would be for you to decide. Or would you like me to tell you? :rolleyes:

[feral bro]

please be gentle with me :blushing:

[the last donut of the night]

My advice, just use your best judgement and try your best. Don't overthink it. I'm akward, too shy, and not especially attractive, but I still managed to have girlfriends, eventually got married and had kids, etc. Good memories! Just be yourself, don't try to be a charming, sexy comedian like on television, because people aren't really like that. They are mostly ugly and crazy. Even the guy/girl you like, they probably cover it up with fashionable clothing, make up, etc. and hide their craziness, but actually they are probably ugly and crazy.

so glad there are people this honest in the world

[Firebrand]

My advice is to smile a lot. (Practice in a mirror if you aren't used to generating a natural looking smile). Smiling releases endorphins that make you more relaxed and whats more the sight of someone smiling triggers happy feelings in the people who see them. Smiles are a social tool, use them. Beyond that try and find common ground to talk about, don't just agree with everything she says, she wants to know you actually have a personality, but don't ramble on about stuff she has no interest in. And don't set up any really high pressure first dates, it's best to have some kind of activity if you aren't good at small talk, otherwise you may end up babbling and saying something you regret.

[Rafiq]

It happens naturally. If you actually need advise about spending time with an individual on a date, chances are you shouldn't be going out with him/her in the first place. If the conversation you had with that person was not natural, or "easily flowing" chances are you will have a shitty and awkward time with that person.

[Rafiq]

My advice is to smile a lot. (Practice in a mirror if you aren't used to generating a natural looking smile). Smiling releases endorphins that make you more relaxed and whats more the sight of someone smiling triggers happy feelings in the people who see them. Smiles are a social tool, use them. Beyond that try and find common ground to talk about, don't just agree with everything she says, she wants to know you actually have a personality, but don't ramble on about stuff she has no interest in. And don't set up any really high pressure first dates, it's best to have some kind of activity if you aren't good at small talk, otherwise you may end up babbling and saying something you regret.

Ugh, to me, smiling is a burden. If I don't have a reason to smile, chances are I'm not going to fucking smile. People who smile for no reason come off as fake and boring, to me.

[Leftsolidarity]

It happens naturally. If you actually need advise about spending time with an individual on a date, chances are you shouldn't be going out with him/her in the first place. If the conversation you had with that person was not natural, or "easily flowing" chances are you will have a shitty and awkward time with that person.

That's crap. Everyone has a hard time at first. I still have a hard time. Not a whole lot of people are going to walk up to the person they are interested in and be able to have a natural and "easily flowing" conversation with them.

[Rafiq]

That's crap. Everyone has a hard time at first. I still have a hard time. Not a whole lot of people are going to walk up to the person they are interested in and be able to have a natural and "easily flowing" conversation with them.

From experience, the best way to meet people is unintentionally. That's really just how things work. If you walk up to someone, like that, in my opinion, is really dumb. Think about it. A fellow animal (ape) walking up to a person, talking. Obviously there is something they want, which is to be with that person, even if they don't know them. It's a very selfish thing, to me (Just to me, though, but apparenty I'm a little fucked up in the head, anyway). It's basically presenting yourself as a pathetic and weak animal, like "Hey, you know my interests, and I want you to for fill them for me!" (and I'm not just talking about Sex, I'm talking about it as a social status, etc.). When it's unintentional, it's completely mutual.

There is a good quote I got from a book, which states, the best ways to experience relationships with people, and this may very well include friendship, is to not be looking at each other the whole time (BOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIIIINGGGGG) but to share a common goal, to be looking at a third party, external from yourselves. To me, this is a genuine way to want to spend time with someone, without being a selfish prick who only cares about for-filling his own needs. That's not to say I look down upon anyone who does this, it's just that this is my personal opinion on whether I should do it.

But if all you want is Sex, than the former is more appropriate, which is fine, if you ask me. But if you want to have a meaningful and enjoyable time with someone beyond just Sex, than it has to be natural.

[Rafiq]

Also, Leftsolidarity, do you just really look through my posts and just disagree with me just for the sake of disagreeing with me? It happens all the time, and every single point you've made is weak as hell. Before you started doing that, your posts were pretty decent, and genuine. You come off as pretty, pathetic, in my opinion. Really, don't morph your views just because I have them, lest I control you. ;)

[Leftsolidarity]

Also, Leftsolidarity, do you just really look through my posts and just disagree with me just for the sake of disagreeing with me? It happens all the time, and every single point you've made is weak as hell. Before you started doing that, your posts were pretty decent, and genuine. You come off as pretty, pathetic, in my opinion. Really, don't morph your views just because I have them, lest I control you. ;)

No, I just think that most of your posts are shit. So I respond to them.
This is not about my dislike of your views on basically everything though. This is about dating advice for the OP, whom you basically told "Either you are instantly connected with them or you are pathetic".

[bcbm]

people still date?

[Rafiq]

No, I just think that most of your posts are shit. So I respond to them.
This is not about my dislike of your views on basically everything though. This is about dating advice for the OP, whom you basically told "Either you are instantly connected with them or you are pathetic".

Are you some kind of troll? You always fucking twist my words to your liking. If you think most of my posts are shit, than why do you always have to modify them, and twist them to your liking in order to criticize them? Surly a true shit post requires no bullshiting on your behalf, no modification, or twisting, being that it is genuinely shit to begin with, no?

For example:


you basically told "Either you are instantly connected with them or you are pathetic"

If you have the ability to articulate a post written in English, simply scrolling up looking at my post will reveal this is far from what I suggested. I suggested that there has to be a reason why you met this individual, other than just going up to them and trying to "score" (Which, you will only connect with them if you are lucky).


But whatever. I think it's pretty clear that you're an insufferable piece of shit, who every time does the same thing, and tries to de rail my assertion, simply by saying "WE'RE FOCUSING ON THIS THREAD RIGHT NOW, OKAY, SO STOP GETTING OFF TOPIC"

Hey asshole, I think it's clear that you don't give five fucks about the OP, or this thread, for the only reason you posted is because you wanted to try and take a shot at posting something to discredit my post, which, as usual, you always fail at miserably (Do you remember when you criticized me for saying Islamism is antithetical to the Left :laugh: you thought Islamism was actually just religion). Other wise, your post would have been of higher quality, and not filled with a bunch of manipulative straw man horse shit.

Please, stop embarrassing yourself and actually post something because you agree with it, not because It's opposed to whatever post I make. In other words, fuck you.

[KR]

Best advice regarding women/dating I have ever received;

"Dont overstretch your abilities to impress someone; they're going to expect that to be the norm."

"Dont lie to women, men suck at it. If you're a man and you think "No I dont", you suck at it worse than other men."

"Someone willing to cheat with you is probably willing to cheat ON you."

"Sometimes you just need a night that leaves heel marks in the refrigerator door."


I've found these to be sage advice when it comes to interacting with my lady friends, I'm polyamorous so I get a little more practice.
I dont understand the last quote :confused: and your second quote seems kind of sexist.

[GatesofLenin]

Oh really? :sneaky: You destroyed my plans.
Sorry comrade, was just trying to help ... :crying:

[GatesofLenin]

Uh, not true... one of the leading factors in determining whether or not I'm going to date a guy more than once depends on if he took me to an adult movie on the first date...

If he doesn't, well... I just don't see a future between us, plain and simple... And on top of that, how was the production value? Is it up for an Adult Movie Award? All important factors....
Now that's a real commie girl! I'm in love ... :tt1:

[MegaBrah]

I know absolutely nothing about dating.(that is the easiest way to get my point out)

Your a beautiful, smart, brave peacock, your glorious feathered ploom shall no longer remain unfurled, you need to fly, fly into the realm of love and snare you the eye of a beautiful lady peacock.

This was pretty much my fathers peptalk. :D


Nah mate just be yourslef and find someone who digs that, if your a skinny nerd find a girl whos into that, if your a beastly badass, find someone who likes that, if you fake being someone else you will inevitably come unstuck brah!

[MegaBrah]

Now that's a real commie girl! I'm in love ... :tt1:

Desperation is an ugly style brah:tt2:

[REVLEFT'S BIEGGST MATSER TROL]

What should you talk about on the first date? I can hardly keep a conversation for 2 minutes let alone 2 hours.

Politics.

[Le Rouge]

Politics.

Not.

Small talk should to the trick.

[Nox]

Not.

Small talk should to the trick.

Everyone says that, but what should I small talk about?

[Decolonize The Left]

Everyone says that, but what should I small talk about?

Music, movies, sports, that weird dude in the corner licking the window, the ridiculous dog humping the car down the block - anything that seems like it would be funny/interesting is suitable for small talk.

Asking questions shows that you are interested in the other person. What do they like to do when they're not working? (If you like to do the same things, now's a good time for small talk about these things). Where do they work? (If you've worked that sort of job before, now's a good time to small talk about the crappy nature of the job, or a co-worker, or whatever).

You are making conversation in order to lesson the anxiety/awkwardness of the first date/meeting. So, naturally, you won't pick topics which are anxiety-ridden, such as, say, politics/religion/war/famine/poverty/parents/children/marriage/death/etc...

It's really not that hard. Tell him/her that s/he looks very nice, s/he will say thank you and you say you're welcome. Then ask if they're hungry. If so, what would they like to eat. Maybe you can talk about the neighborhood and good restaurants. Or maybe there was a funny incident that happened earlier this year on this block which would be worth recounting as you walk.

You do not have to talk for 2 hours. If you feel like you have to keep talking, you probably shouldn't be talking. Relax. If things get awkward and quiet, it's ok to say "man, this sure is an awkward silence."Then you smile and look that person in the eye and say, "would you like to go for a walk?" (Unless you're walking, then you'd say, "would you like to stop in for a bite to eat?") Or whatever. They probably felt the awkwardness too but didn't know what to say. So you helped you both out because awkwardness is no one's fault.

Relax. You'll be fine. Don't over-think it, just go with whatever feels right.

- August

[ВАЛТЕР]

Everyone says that, but what should I small talk about?

Talk about recent movies you've seen, funny people you both know, find common ground and work with it. I can tell you that when you start the conversation, and if she keeps it going it means she is interested in at least talking to you which is a good sign. Ask her questions about what she likes to do, does she play sports, what school she may be going to. etc. etc. Joke around, make fun of her a bit. (Don't be an ass when you do though. Just be playful.)

Don't talk about yourself too much, and don't brag. When I say "ask her questions" I don't mean to be like a machine that just asks question after question. Ask her how her week's been and what has she done. Usually they will get into it like , "oh yeah it was cool I went to this or that place." Then you expand on this "Wow I've never been there, what is it like?" or "That place is cool, I like doing this or that there" etc.

It is nothing complicated, although it can be intimidating at first, especially if you are young. If she is interested in talking to you, she will talk to you. Let her talk about herself and what she likes, then you occasionally agree and expand on a subject. (NOT politics and serious shit like that!) Talk about things she likes and finds interesting.

Make sure you schedule another date if that one goes well, and be decisive. However, don't be overzealous either, and don't try too hard to impress her.

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

Another stupid question. How do you ask? It may have been asked, but I need to add on what if she says no?

[ВАЛТЕР]

Another stupid question. How do you ask? It may have been asked, but I need to add on what if she says no?

Ask her out on a date?

Well, just be straightforward about it. Not necessarily blunt. but let your intentions be clear.

Say: "Hey, would you like to go with me to this show/event/pub/whatever?"

Really depends on the girl. At times I've basically told them "Hey, I'm taking you out for ice cream this weekend. You don't have a choice." (This is only if you know her and already have a connection of sorts. Don't walk up to randoms and say stuff like that, because it may not work out. Sometimes it actually may work though. Who knows.)

The key here is not to be afraid of rejection, and it is a good idea to take that rejection and turn it around in some way. Make it into a joke of sorts, laugh it off. Don't fret over it. Because really who cares? Unless she is rude about it, then you have to be rude back. Sarcasm is king when dealing with rude people. "Oh, you are right. I don't know how I could have ever dared approach you. Please forgive me."

You ask ten girls, even if 9 may reject you, the tenth one will agree. (keep in mind they probably won't reject you. In fact your odds are much better than 1 in 10.)

Don't fret over rejection, tell yourself "who gives a shit, plenty of more girls out there for me." (I know that it may be hard to do, but it's the truth. A few weeks later you will forget you even asked her)

I suggest practicing with girls you don't really even care whether they accept or not. Then later move on to ones who you may actually have a thing for. Since it isn't as hard on your ego if just "some girl" rejects you, as opposed to the one you actually may like.

[Искра]

All I can say is that I come into room... and all girls wanna date me. But that's because I'm a rock star.

[heyjoe]

Everyone says that, but what should I small talk about?


in your case Nox i think you should show them the this guy is my idol and the hahaha this is brilliant videos. that should break the ice.

[GatesofLenin]

Desperation is an ugly style brah:tt2:
Only if you took my joke seriously.

[MotherCossack]

look here.... very, very jaded, crusty, semi-pickled, and almost one quarter mummified old tart [not literally very accurate... but hell... i like the word...besides... at my age i've earned the right, surely...] speaking....
you know that feeling.. the shame, the awfulness, the... i WANT TO DIE NOW!!!!! feeling that follows when you have been spurned/rejected by a person you made some sort of advance towards.
that mega-humiliation fuelled RED FACE hotness, that i can actually feel as i type..... it never goes, if you have ever felt it!

well, listen up.....
all i can say is:
THOSE WERE THE DAYS.... OH WOE!
THEY-WERE -THE_-BEST-DAYS-EVER-
i would love a bit -more- of that particular pain!!!!

[Nox]

One more thing... How can you approach girls without seeming like a weirdo? Especially if you're shy...

[heyjoe]

mother cassock feel free to ask me out and i will oblige you by turning you down, so that your face may redden and burn and so you may relive those golden days of T Rex, Slade and Mott the Hoople of so long ago. your welcome, dont mention it.

[Decolonize The Left]

One more thing... How can you approach girls without seeming like a weirdo? Especially if you're shy...

It depends on the conditions surrounding the initial meeting.

Did you meet them before? Say, at a party or at school or at a function of some sort. If so, then you can use that as an intro: "Excuse me, didn't we meet at John's party last week? I'm [your name]." You would shake hands here. You can then go into some interesting shit that happened that night at the party or whatever. After you chat for a second, tell this person that you'd like to see them again and ask them if they want to join you for coffee or food or a movie or whatever.

Keep it short and casual (unless they seem super-interested then just roll with it) and be polite and courteous. Let them know that you are interested in them and want to see them again, but leave it at that.

- August

[ВАЛТЕР]

One more thing... How can you approach girls without seeming like a weirdo? Especially if you're shy...

Go and find random girls to approach and talk to. Just go ahead and try it until you get over your shyness. Think of it as target practice. You go out and approach people who you really dont even care about that much, and practice on them (because who gives a shit what they say or do, they aren't going to eat you alive). Once you get a solid method down, you move on to the girls you may actually feel attracted to.

Practice, practice, practice. Use things you have in common as a way to approach them. Things that you have in common that you can actually discuss, not just crap you like: "oh hey I heard you like the color blue! Me too!" talk about things that can be expanded on and become interesting for both parties involved.

[Nox]

Go and find random girls to approach and talk to. Just go ahead and try it until you get over your shyness. Think of it as target practice. You go out and approach people who you really dont even care about that much, and practice on them (because who gives a shit what they say or do, they aren't going to eat you alive). Once you get a solid method down, you move on to the girls you may actually feel attracted to.

Practice, practice, practice. Use things you have in common as a way to approach them. Things that you have in common that you can actually discuss, not just crap you like: "oh hey I heard you like the color blue! Me too!" talk about things that can be expanded on and become interesting for both parties involved.

Everyone says that but really it's not as easy as it sounds.

It's not really the rejection as such that I'm afraid of, it's the embaressment and awkwardness surrounding it so how much I like the girl doesn't really matter :/

[ВАЛТЕР]

Everyone says that but really it's not as easy as it sounds.

It's not really the rejection as such that I'm afraid of, it's the embaressment and awkwardness surrounding it so how much I like the girl doesn't really matter :/


I know what you are talking about, we have all been there. It took me forever to work the courage up to go out and talk to girls, however once I got it down it became not that big a deal.

Look, I understand the embarrassment bit perfectly. However, it can only be embarrassing if you let it be embarrassing.What I mean by that is if you play it off as being funny, or as not caring, then other people won't care as much either. Eventually you can be known as the guy who has no shame when it comes to approaching people, and people find that attractive. People like people who don't give a shit when it comes to stuff like that, in fact they often end up being the most liked.

No shame in being rejected, and often times if you are charming and persistent, they will finally agree to go out with you.

my ex-girlfriend didn't give me the time of day at first, but I wasn't discouraged, in fact I became persistent. Constantly coming and talking to her and joking around with her, and eventually with some charm, I got with her.

Be confident (not cocky), if you get rejected laugh it off. No big deal, try again later.

I can't stress this enough, if you get rejected it is no big deal. Everybody gets turned down at one point or another. If they reject you, well fuck it, it is part of life and everybody goes through it. Laugh it off as if it is nothing, because in reality, it is nothing. It isn't a big deal. If you have a friend who is better at approaching girls than you, ask him to help you out. Have him introduce you, or have one of your friends that are girls help you out.

[Crux]

tLPZmPaHme0

Really my only advice is, don't be black out drunk when you're doing it. Anyway dating is such a strange phenomenon to me.

[Nox]

I know what you are talking about, we have all been there. It took me forever to work the courage up to go out and talk to girls, however once I got it down it became not that big a deal.

Look, I understand the embarrassment bit perfectly. However, it can only be embarrassing if you let it be embarrassing.What I mean by that is if you play it off as being funny, or as not caring, then other people won't care as much either. Eventually you can be known as the guy who has no shame when it comes to approaching people, and people find that attractive. People like people who don't give a shit when it comes to stuff like that, in fact they often end up being the most liked.

No shame in being rejected, and often times if you are charming and persistent, they will finally agree to go out with you.

my ex-girlfriend didn't give me the time of day at first, but I wasn't discouraged, in fact I became persistent. Constantly coming and talking to her and joking around with her, and eventually with some charm, I got with her.

Be confident (not cocky), if you get rejected laugh it off. No big deal, try again later.

I can't stress this enough, if you get rejected it is no big deal. Everybody gets turned down at one point or another. If they reject you, well fuck it, it is part of life and everybody goes through it. Laugh it off as if it is nothing, because in reality, it is nothing. It isn't a big deal. If you have a friend who is better at approaching girls than you, ask him to help you out. Have him introduce you, or have one of your friends that are girls help you out.

Meh... I'm only a 3/10 so my chances are low

[MotherCossack]

mother cassock feel free to ask me out and i will oblige you by turning you down, so that your face may redden and burn and so you may relive those golden days of T Rex, Slade and Mott the Hoople of so long ago. your welcome, dont mention it.

jeez louise...
i aint that fucking old...
you must mean....well lets see errrr....
duran duran..? elvis costello... the smiths....err..
well the late 80's was a bit lean......

and anyway nirvana and mudhoney was more up my street
all things sub-pop.... oh yes!
that and a bit of
extreme noise terror!!

[kuros]

I find it kinda wierd that it is assumed here that it will be a guy asking a girl out, cant girls ask guys out?

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

Is it trolling when I say I (a male) asked the question.
Thanks for the info so far. I think I'll asked her out next week after rifle team.
Anything special I should do or wear when I ask her out?

[Kitty_Paine]

Is it trolling when I say I (a male) asked the question.
Thanks for the info so far. I think I'll asked her out next week after rifle team.
Anything special I should do or wear when I ask her out?

Be confident, genuine and brush your teeth...

In fact, that is the secret to suceeding at almost everything in life. You're welcome :)

[Prometeo liberado]

look here.... very, very jaded, crusty, semi-pickled, and almost one quarter mummified old tart [not literally very accurate... but hell... i like the word...besides... at my age i've earned the right, surely...] speaking....
you know that feeling.. the shame, the awfulness, the... i WANT TO DIE NOW!!!!! feeling that follows when you have been spurned/rejected by a person you made some sort of advance towards.
that mega-humiliation fuelled RED FACE hotness, that i can actually feel as i type..... it never goes, if you have ever felt it!

well, listen up.....
all i can say is:
THOSE WERE THE DAYS.... OH WOE!
THEY-WERE -THE_-BEST-DAYS-EVER-
i would love a bit -more- of that particular pain!!!!

I wanna go and stand on a ledge with the portrait of my ex now:crying:

[Prometeo liberado]

Is it trolling when I say I (a male) asked the question.
Thanks for the info so far. I think I'll asked her out next week after rifle team.
Anything special I should do or wear when I ask her out?

Rifle Team?!! Good god man! She/He will know the inner workings of a firearm on this date? Before you go thru with this death wish ask yourself this: Who is the better shot?

Get back to me when the first date at the OK Chorral is over. Keep you gun powder dry. and condoms drier. "..if it isn't a gunshot it isn't love":crying:

[Nox]

Life would be so much fucking easier if women made the first move rather than men. I'm only 16/17 but seriously I don't think I will ever get a girlfriend, unless she is the one who approaches me.

[PC LOAD LETTER]

snatch a 40 off a homeless guy and then share it with her and she'll think you're a gentleman. show her chivalry ain't dead. ;)
Failing this, I suggest grabbing some 40s from the corner store and hangin out front with her. Maybe find an empty lot and make a fire. Then hang out by the fire.

I'm serious.

I've done this. But only with several people, not just you two ... it makes it not weird.


(no homeless here, they are in prisons:()
Thank you for all the advice. Makes me feel like not the only person like this.
Just keep the info comming
See above

Is it trolling when I say I (a male) asked the question.
Thanks for the info so far. I think I'll asked her out next week after rifle team.
Anything special I should do or wear when I ask her out?
10-meter rifle team? I used to do that! About 8-9 years ago. I averaged 260/300, what do you usually hit?

Life would be so much fucking easier if women made the first move rather than men. I'm only 16/17 but seriously I don't think I will ever get a girlfriend, unless she is the one who approaches me.
Sometimes they do. Shit, a few years back this one girl I had hung out with a few times called me up and said "So when are we going to start dating?" ...

Three girls I dated I was friends with before, or 'acquaintances' is a better description. It breaks down walls and lets you get to know eachother first. Then feelings tend to develop. The whole 'beware of the friend zone' deal is sexist and blatantly false ...

[bcbm]

Life would be so much fucking easier if women made the first move rather than men. I'm only 16/17 but seriously I don't think I will ever get a girlfriend, unless she is the one who approaches me.

it'll get easier in time as you have more life experiences and have to do more awkward shit and i mean there is always online dating which takes a lot of the pressure that comes with real life interaction away. i wouldn't sweat it too much, you're still young

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

I fucked up.
She asked for my email for a match this weekend(I haven't asked her yet) and the first email that I tell her is [email protected]**.***

:crying: I'm so fucking stupid.
On a related note: I shoot about a 95 for prone. My kneeling (I started yesterday) I shot a 60 and my last stand 2 months ago was a 54.

[black magick hustla]

u dont need girls in ur life, videogames, cats and beer are a better substitute

[NewLeft]

Meh... I'm only a 3/10 so my chances are low

I bet we could make you at least a 7/10.

[PC LOAD LETTER]

I fucked up.
She asked for my email for a match this weekend(I haven't asked her yet) and the first email that I tell her is [email protected]**.***

:crying: I'm so fucking stupid.
On a related note: I shoot about a 95 for prone. My kneeling (I started yesterday) I shot a 60 and my last stand 2 months ago was a 54.
Chances are, she probably won't notice or care what your email address is. A lot of people have random shit for their email addresses, so she'll probably think you were making a joke email address or something.

Keep practicing ... I bet by the end of the year you'll be at least 240 in matches ... 90/80/70 ... is it through your schools ROTC program? Ours was. I found it funny that a military dude was teaching us how to shoot on school grounds... in a school-sanctioned sport. Upper arm strength is important for being able to hold steady for long periods of time, so get on the knuckle push-ups. Just don't go nuts over it, because physical strength can work against you when shooting by making the rifle feel light as a feather. I doubt someone could get to that point in one season, though ... unless they were chugging protein shakes and spending hours in the gym every day.

[Le Rouge]

I have a lil story to tell and i want to know what you think.
I met a girl some years ago. Last year, i tried to date her. I was relatively interested in her. I dated her, but she finally said that she want us to stay friends.
I know what i did wrong. We were talking too much on msn and not enough in real life. We didn't know each other much.

So, i stopped talking to her. I was becoming very distant with her. We had a few bad times, expressing what we thought of all this, On msn....(Yes i'm pathetic.)
Few months passed like this.

A week ago, we decided to meet up again. So, me and a friend of her, went to her house. We had a really good time. We are more close to each other now. There was a lot of physical contact and we played with each other.

Yesterday, we were talking music on msn. I wanted to show her what is Dubstep. So i said her that she needed a decent sound system to start with. She responded asking me if i had a good sound system at home. I said yes. So she said : Well, you'll show me what is Dubstep when i'll go to your home. :)

What she meant?

Yeah. What ya think? My story is baddly written, but i hope you'll understand.

[Decolonize The Left]

I have a lil story to tell and i want to know what you think.
I met a girl some years ago. Last year, i tried to date her. I was relatively interested in her. I dated her, but she finally said that she want us to stay friends.
I know what i did wrong. We were talking too much on msn and not enough in real life. We didn't know each other much.

So, i stopped talking to her. I was becoming very distant with her. We had a few bad times, expressing what we thought of all this, On msn....(Yes i'm pathetic.)
Few months passed like this.

A week ago, we decided to meet up again. So, me and a friend of her, went to her house. We had a really good time. We are more close to each other now. There was a lot of physical contact and we played with each other.

Yesterday, we were talking music on msn. I wanted to show her what is Dubstep. So i said her that she needed a decent sound system to start with. She responded asking me if i had a good sound system at home. I said yes. So she said : Well, you'll show me what is Dubstep when i'll go to your home. :)

What she meant?

Yeah. What ya think? My story is baddly written, but i hope you'll understand.

Well firstly, stop having serious conversations on msn. Good god. So much is lost without physical contact, so much, and it only hurts the relationship - it never improves it.

Secondly, it's obvious that she doesn't want you to ignore her. She wants your attention. So you should give it to her if you want to (and apparently you do). What she has not done is express interest in you intimately - so her statement that you should listen to music together is not a request to get together as a couple. It could be underneath it all (no pun intended), but you just don't know so don't expect it because you'll just be upset when it doesn't happen.

You should treat this as a nice opportunity to be friends with someone you care about and nothing more. Whatever happens happens. But you can't expect anything more from what you've said here.

- August

[Agent Ducky]

Memorize all the words to "The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" and impress her by singing it to her. That would work on me.

[Nox]

I fucked up.
She asked for my email for a match this weekend(I haven't asked her yet) and the first email that I tell her is [email protected]**.***


Lol


I bet we could make you at least a 7/10.

Never. Even 3/10 is being generous for me. I've also noticed that I look a lot worse in photos than I do in the mirror :(

[Agent Ducky]

I fucked up.
She asked for my email for a match this weekend(I haven't asked her yet) and the first email that I tell her is [email protected]**.***

:crying: I'm so fucking stupid.
On a related note: I shoot about a 95 for prone. My kneeling (I started yesterday) I shot a 60 and my last stand 2 months ago was a 54.

Can't be worse than "[email protected]*stuff*.com"
That's the email of my friend who got me into communism. He is a boss.

[Nox]

I must say, even after reading all of this I'm still no more confident than I was before. Problem is, my lack of confidence isn't really down to shyness etc, it's down to me simply not being attractive

[Crux]

I must say, even after reading all of this I'm still no more confident than I was before. Problem is, my lack of confidence isn't really down to shyness etc, it's down to me simply not being attractive
Then by all means go for blackout drunk. You need to boost your confidence somehow.

[Nox]

Then by all means go for blackout drunk. You need to boost your confidence somehow.

It's difficult to look attractive when your left eye is smaller than your right eye because of permenant muscle damage

[PC LOAD LETTER]

It's difficult to look attractive when your left eye is smaller than your right eye because of permenant muscle damage
Everyone's got something about them that they feel self-conscious about. I'm serious. I can guarantee there is someone attracted to you right now and you just don't realize it. :cool:

Do you run? Lift weights? If not, I highly recommend starting an exercise regimen. Mainly because simply being physically active will improve mood and self-confidence dramatically. Not immediately, well ... maybe. But after some time passes with regular exercise, you will feel better about yourself. Don't let yourself convince yourself "Fuck it I can skip today" because you'll end up not exercising at all.

Also, speaking from experience ... look in the mirror as little as possible. It's a trap. I used to have a mirror in my room ... bad idea. I ended up pointing out everything I thought was wrong with me physically. My self-confidence went down the fucking toilet for several months. I withdrew, didn't feel like hanging out with anyone, the whole deal. Got rid of the mirror, started exercising again, and I felt fine after a while.

I'm actually gaining a little weight. Time for me to take my own advice and start exercising again ... it's been about 7 months ... been catching myself doing the mirror thing, too.

[Elysian]

I am an Indian and I have no idea what dating is all about. What do you guys do - go to hotels, pretend to have a nice chat, and then have sex later on? What exactly is this dating thing?

[Elysian]

I must say, even after reading all of this I'm still no more confident than I was before. Problem is, my lack of confidence isn't really down to shyness etc, it's down to me simply not being attractive

Stop complaining! At least, you have white privilege, meaning simply by virtue of being white you can pick up nonwhite girls easily. They see you on top of racial hierarchy, regardless of your looks. Nonwhite boys don't have that luxury. Despite being good-looking, they'll be looked down upon because of their race.

[roy]

Stop complaining! At least, you have white privilege, meaning simply by virtue of being white you can pick up nonwhite girls easily. They see you on top of racial hierarchy, regardless of your looks. Nonwhite boys don't have that luxury. Despite being good-looking, they'll be looked down upon because of their race.

The fuck?

[Crux]

I am an Indian and I have no idea what dating is all about. What do you guys do - go to hotels, pretend to have a nice chat, and then have sex later on? What exactly is this dating thing?
I would if I could afford hotels. Seriously who can afford hotels? Although I must say I do take offence that you insinuiate that this wonderful world of casual sex in hotels would preclude having a meaningful interaction, or nice conversation as you put it.

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

I'm going on a 5 hour car ride with her. What should I do or do not?
I have yet to ask her out. I am wait until the week after the next

[Искра]

I wanna ask Mari3L out but I don't know how :blushing:

[MotherCossack]

I must say, even after reading all of this I'm still no more confident than I was before. Problem is, my lack of confidence isn't really down to shyness etc, it's down to me simply not being attractive

yeah.... but ...
guess what.. .you lucky brute....
unless i am very much mistaken...
you possess... the ultimate preciousss...
that, which no amount of money can buy...

(get on wiv it, you boring, old baggage...) i hear you mutter...

ok, i'm milking it... reason being... this , of which i speak is so glorious, so irresistible, so powerfully attractive that even an ageing siren like myself is almost guaranteed to enjoy a hot flush just talking about it....!

it, being ... of course: YOUTH. [up to 30]
very nearly as good is: relative youth [30 up to 40 ish]

trust me.... it is the best bit ...so get your skates on... now... i insist...
cos, chances are, even the very worst bits will end up on your, 'things i'm glad i did' list.
and time flies mateys [ha ha ha...boom boom]

or... alternatively.... i could cash in on my millenia of xp and market indispensible advice to lads like yourselves... with no clue how to get to the ball... even though they are the ones throwing it!

HAVE FUN!
i would have been keen (unless you are: -a tory or -truly hideous.)

[black magick hustla]

Stop complaining! At least, you have white privilege, meaning simply by virtue of being white you can pick up nonwhite girls easily. They see you on top of racial hierarchy, regardless of your looks. Nonwhite boys don't have that luxury. Despite being good-looking, they'll be looked down upon because of their race.

how many critical theory books did u read

[Elysian]

how many critical theory books did u read

A lot, really.:)

[NewLeft]

Lol
Never. Even 3/10 is being generous for me. I've also noticed that I look a lot worse in photos than I do in the mirror :(

Ok screw the ranking system.. It's mostly bullshit anyway.

[Nox]

My point is, how can you approach a girl and be confident etc if you are not attractive?

[NewLeft]

My point is, how can you approach a girl and be confident etc if you are not attractive?

If you think you're not attractive then you're going to act like you're not attractive.

[Nox]

If you think you're not attractive then you're going to act like you're not attractive.

I'm not though lol, the way I act won't cover it up

[bcbm]

My point is, how can you approach a girl and be confident etc if you are not attractive?

by being confident, etc. being attractive isn't just about your physical qualities

[Искра]

by being confident, etc. being attractive isn't just about your physical qualities
Yeah I'm attractive and Mari3L still doesn't like me :crying:

[dodger]

I'm not though lol, the way I act won't cover it up

Long time since I was in school, do they still have Blackboards, Nox? If they do run your fingernails continually up and down the board. If the girl you set your sights on doesn't weaken, maybe one of the other lasses might. The sound is horrific and she will be receptive to some less direct method later. Tell her your dog has just got run over, by the time she discovers it to be a total fabrication.....you'll have been long gone.(hopefully). Ask her brother out and make her jealous. ditto her mother. Ask a hundred girls out....surely one will say yes, suggest a date in a few months time. Only as the date draws nearer will the girl start to panic. Threaten legal action if she tries to welch on the deal. A judicial review is easy to obtain and it will let her know just what sort of man she is dealing with. A man of substance.



*************

[Ravachol]

Long time since I was in school, do they still have Blackboards, Nox? If they do run your fingernails continually up and down the board. If the girl you set your sights on doesn't weaken, maybe one of the other lasses might. The sound is horrific and she will be receptive to some less direct method later. Tell her your dog has just got run over, by the time she discovers it to be a total fabrication.....you'll have been long gone.(hopefully). Ask her brother out and make her jealous. ditto her mother. Ask a hundred girls out....surely one will say yes, suggest a date in a few months time. Only as the date draws nearer will the girl start to panic. Threaten legal action if she tries to welch on the deal. A judicial review is easy to obtain and it will let her know just what sort of man she is dealing with. A man of substance.



*************

Sounds like someone is enjoying his acid dose :D

[dodger]

Sounds like someone is enjoying his acid dose :D

More like the acid and bile of an old man! Ravachol.......I so hate to see young people happy.:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:blushing::b lushing::blushing::blushing:
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

[MotherCossack]

Long time since I was in school, do they still have Blackboards, Nox? If they do run your fingernails continually up and down the board. If the girl you set your sights on doesn't weaken, maybe one of the other lasses might. The sound is horrific and she will be receptive to some less direct method later. Tell her your dog has just got run over, by the time she discovers it to be a total fabrication.....you'll have been long gone.(hopefully). Ask her brother out and make her jealous. ditto her mother. Ask a hundred girls out....surely one will say yes, suggest a date in a few months time. Only as the date draws nearer will the girl start to panic. Threaten legal action if she tries to welch on the deal. A judicial review is easy to obtain and it will let her know just what sort of man she is dealing with. A man of substance.



*************
this is hilarious. you do crack me up matey!


and listen i might be an aging ragstar but i was well hot once... and i'm telling ya....
stop titting about and get on with it...you lucky little shits....
before i come out of retirement and incinerate you boys with my fading glory!

[Elysian]

My point is, how can you approach a girl and be confident etc if you are not attractive?

Then approach a nonwhite girl. That would even the scales, assuming you really are that worried about looks.

[NewLeft]

Then approach a nonwhite girl. That would even the scales, assuming you really are that worried about looks.

Okay, fuck you and your critical race theory.

[Agent Ducky]

this is hilarious. you do crack me up matey!


and listen i might be an aging ragstar but i was well hot once... and i'm telling ya....
stop titting about and get on with it...you lucky little shits....
before i come out of retirement and incinerate you boys with my fading glory!

You don't need to be hot to incinerate people. You just need a flamethrower.

[Elysian]

Okay, fuck you and your critical race theory.

If you wish to disagree, fine. But why do you say hurtful things?:(

[Agent Ducky]

If you wish to disagree, fine. But why do you say hurtful things?:(

My guess is that NewLeft is irritated because you're injecting this into many parts of the discussion where it really doesn't belong. And that it relies on huge generalizations...

[Nox]

Then approach a nonwhite girl. That would even the scales, assuming you really are that worried about looks.

I genuinely can't tell if you're a troll or just stupid.

Besides, I'm only physically attracted to white girls.

[Искра]

I genuinely can't tell if you're a troll or just stupidExactly what I think of you

[black magick hustla]

Then approach a nonwhite girl. That would even the scales, assuming you really are that worried about looks.

are you white. you sound like a white person.

[black magick hustla]

I'm only physically attracted to white girls.

missing out imo

[dodger]

Besides, I'm only physically attracted to white girls.



Dear Nox, that will change, of that I have no doubt...



********

[Elysian]

are you white. you sound like a white person.

I am an Indian and I sound like an Indian, curry-eating person.:)

Besides, what I say is true - it is based upon observation. Whenever I see nonwhite folks, they act servile in front of white folks, possibly owing to alleged/perceived superiority of the white folks. Now if you're white, you might want to exploit this advantage. It is the practical thing to do.:)

[NewLeft]

Besides, what I say is true - it is based upon observation. Whenever I see nonwhite folks, they act servile in front of white folks, possibly owing to alleged/perceived superiority of the white folks. Now if you're white, you might want to exploit this advantage. It is the practical thing to do.:)

So you want your non-white friends and family to be exploited by whites?

[heyjoe]

Exactly what I think of you

i second that

[Elysian]

So you want your non-white friends and family to be exploited by whites?

By exploit, I mean 'make use of' an opportunity, don't waste it. It isn't exploitation as in the rich exploiting the poor etc. Hope I've made myself clear this time around.

[GoddessCleoLover]

How about clearing up that Anarch-Calvinism thing? Please don't say that it is a joke. That would be a cop-out.

[Elysian]

How about clearing up that Anarch-Calvinism thing? Please don't say that it is a joke. That would be a cop-out.

What's there to explain? I like Calvin's theological position, but I don't like the authority of the state in temporal matters. They aren't mutually exclusive.

[GoddessCleoLover]

They are mutually exclusive because Calvin in fact exercised temporal matters in addition to his body of work as a theologian. The larger question is the general incongruity of combining the stern theology of predestination with the individual liberties embodied in the various schools of anarchism. As a child, our family attended a church where Calvinism although no longer predominant remained of some influence. Please trust me as a first-hand witness that Calvinism regards anarchists as more or less diabolical. I am actually sitting with a bemused smile on my face contemplating the synthesis of Calvinism and anarchism based upon childhood memories of our church's congregation. They would have been horrified to have been associated Bakunin, Makhno, Durruti or any other thinkers or practitioners of the anarchist philosophy.

[Elysian]

They are mutually exclusive because Calvin in fact exercised temporal matters in addition to his body of work as a theologian. The larger question is the general incongruity of combining the stern theology of predestination with the individual liberties embodied in the various schools of anarchism. As a child, our family attended a church where Calvinism although no longer predominant remained of some influence. Please trust me as a first-hand witness that Calvinism regards anarchists as more or less diabolical. I am actually sitting with a bemused smile on my face contemplating the synthesis of Calvinism and anarchism based upon childhood memories of our church's congregation. They would have been horrified to have been associated Bakunin, Makhno, Durruti or any other thinkers or practitioners of the anarchist philosophy.

Predestination is to show God's sovereignty and so it doesn't preclude the free will of man. Most ppl misunderstand predestination and the doctrine of election, including some Calvinists.

[black magick hustla]

when i die ill stand guns drawn before my maker

[roy]

I am an Indian and I sound like an Indian, curry-eating person.:)

Besides, what I say is true - it is based upon observation. Whenever I see nonwhite folks, they act servile in front of white folks, possibly owing to alleged/perceived superiority of the white folks. Now if you're white, you might want to exploit this advantage. It is the practical thing to do.:)

That sounds horrible. Where I live, though, it doesn't matter what your ethnicity is, it's just generally hard to get a date. That could just be me though. :/

[Kitty_Paine]

My point is, how can you approach a girl and be confident etc if you are not attractive?

You giving to much power to your perceived attractiveness. Attractiveness is on more than one level, it's not just looks. There are plenty of "less than average" guys who go out with and date very good looking girls. BS, you might say; but it's true. I know you've seen it before. A dull looking guy with an amazing looking girl, and you're like "WTF?! How did that happen?!" I'll tell you. That guy thinks or rather "knows" that he is an awesome person. He knows that he's good looking and fun, and that confidence shines. People want to be around out-going, confident, fun people... and not one of those things has to do with looks. Change your attitude and the way you look at things and you will see everything else around you start to change. Stop blaming yourself for things too, that's a bad habit and leads to feeling less than confident. You are in complete control of your happiness, you realize this, yes?

Just focus of conquering your social anxiety, building your confidence and straight not giving a fuck about what happens or about what others think of you. Why would you waste your time worrying about what others think of you? Live your life and stop worrying about others and letting them hold you back... fuck that... :)


I am an Indian and I sound like an Indian, curry-eating person.:)

Besides, what I say is true - it is based upon observation. Whenever I see nonwhite folks, they act servile in front of white folks, possibly owing to alleged/perceived superiority of the white folks. Now if you're white, you might want to exploit this advantage. It is the practical thing to do.:)

Seriously?

... Seriously?

How is he not banned yet... after reading all of his posts, he is either a troll or incredibly shallow minded... either of which I believe should lead to a ban... :mellow:

[JustMovement]

Wow this degenerated quickly.

Anyways, If you want to make small talk, a garuanteed method is to ask questions, let the other person talk, then when you hit upon something interesting you can discuss it. Be interested in them, not just boring stuff like Oh isnt that thing over there nice? If you think there is going to be a silence than start talking about something you think is interesting, even if its random. Also sometimes silences are fine, enjoy the moment, we dont always have to be blabbing away.
my two pence

[Nox]

You giving to much power to your perceived attractiveness. Attractiveness is on more than one level, it's not just looks. There are plenty of "less than average" guys who go out with and date very good looking girls. BS, you might say; but it's true. I know you've seen it before. A dull looking guy with an amazing looking girl, and you're like "WTF?! How did that happen?!" I'll tell you. That guy thinks or rather "knows" that he is an awesome person. He knows that he's good looking and fun, and that confidence shines. People want to be around out-going, confident, fun people... and not one of those things has to do with looks. Change your attitude and the way you look at things and you will see everything else around you start to change. Stop blaming yourself for things too, that's a bad habit and leads to feeling less than confident. You are in complete control of your happiness, you realize this, yes?

Just focus of conquering your social anxiety, building your confidence and straight not giving a fuck about what happens or about what others think of you. Why would you waste your time worrying about what others think of you? Live your life and stop worrying about others and letting them hold you back... fuck that... :)


Thanks for that :)

[Kitty_Paine]

Thanks for that :)

I know words typed from someone across the internet don't mean a whole lot but I try :p

I used to be kinda in the same situation so I try and offer what advice I can

[Agent Ducky]

Exactly what Kitty said. You have to learn not to give a fuck about how people judge you. People can appreciate that. If you appear confident, looks aren't as important. What's the worst that can happen to you? Take risks.

[Ostrinski]

How about... just don't date?

[Kitty_Paine]

How about... just don't date?

You mean just skip the formalities and get straight to the dirty? You could do that too I guess... :p

But I'm assuming he probably wants to if he's asking. What would be the other option you were thinking of? Or were you just saying...

[Ostrinski]

You mean just skip the formalities and get straight to the dirty? You could do that too I guess... :p

But I'm assuming he probably wants to if he's asking. What would be the other option you were thinking of? Or were you just saying...I meant skipping both the clean and the dirty. But I digress.

[Kitty_Paine]

I meant skipping both the clean and the dirty. But I digress.

I more or less knew what you meant, I just didn't want to assume :p

[Agent Ducky]

Also welcome back Kitty_Paine :D you were gone and stuff and now you're back and that's good.

[Ostrinski]

The commercialization of sexuality and romance make people think that partaking in a relationship or being sexually active is vital to one's existential worth. If no one is interested in you/you're not interested in anyone, it's not a big deal. Just wait til later in life, dating will be much easier.

[Kitty_Paine]

Also welcome back Kitty_Paine :D you were gone and stuff and now you're back and that's good.

:D lol, Thanks Ducky.

Got into a little bit of trouble on probation so... I was forced to take a little "vacation", as some would put it... :p

I always knew you cared Ducky :o

lol

[Kitty_Paine]

The commercialization of sexuality and romance make people think that partaking in a relationship or being sexually active is vital to one's existential worth. If no one is interested in you/you're not interested in anyone, it's not a big deal. Just wait til later in life, dating will be much easier.

Oh, I agree completely. I don't think anyone should be pressured into dating or think they need to be sexually active in order to fulfill some BS social norm. Ridiculous and meaningless social norms are the cause of a lot of depression and social withdrawal in adolescents. If they don't feel they are normal or quite meeting the average they often become anxietious and withdraw, from fear of ridicule. I've seen it in a quite a few kids and it's a fucked up part of life that destroys a lot of good people. Even in adults... it'd be cool if people could just learn to be cool to each other. Seems easy enough...

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

Well as an update, i am going to ask the girl out as soon as hockey is over. So basically the second week i march.

[Kitty_Paine]

Well as an update, i am going to ask the girl out as soon as hockey is over. So basically the second week i march.

Don't wait too long, you may find her arm in arm with another guy before you get your chance. I'm not trying to scare or pressure you but just keep in mind that she may assume you don't like her if it takes you too long to ask her out and then she may turn her focus on another guy. I'm sure you've thought about this though, so as long as you think you're good don't worry about what I said. Just something to consider though. :)