Would you?

[Le Libérer]

If you had some very flirtatious exchanges with someone who was married, and you knew this person would never be emotionally available, would you have a sexual affair with them anyway? And why or why not?

[Comrade Samuel]

Yes, call me shallow but passing up free sex is like passing up free ice cream although I will admit I have never gotten an STD eating ice cream.

[The Young Pioneer]

If you had some very flirtatious exchanges with someone who was married, and you knew this person would never be emotionally available, would you have a sexual affair with them anyway? And why or why not?

If I was emotional towards them, then yes, but I'm pathetic like that.

Mind you, I've only been "emotionally available" to two people myself- You can date anybody without letting them in.

Is this a personal scenario? If so, good luck in whatever outcome.

[Искра]

No. I'm against casual sex and I don't like people who cheat. I'm hopless romantic ;)

[Comrade Gwydion]

I would say no, but you never know how you act when it would happen.
Still, I'd like to think I'd be able to resist

[socialistjustin]

If I was drunk then yeah whatever. I mean it's not my relationship and I wouldn't care.

Sober? Probably not.

[Susurrus]

Only if all parties involved are consenting, ie open marriage style.

[Le Libérer]

Is this a personal scenario? If so, good luck in whatever outcome.

No not at all, I am dating someone who is single, but much younger than me which could be a concern. We will see, I am very guarded in that regard.

But someone I know is embarking on this scenario. And I have dated married men, most of the time, I had regretted in the end.

I think if the person questioning doing so absolutely understands a married person isnt going to leave their partner, then they will be okay. I was that other woman many times when I was married, and it was very painful. I dont want to put another woman through what I went through.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

I honestly could not say but if I were in a relationship then no.

[Manic Impressive]

yes absolutely. Nothing is sacred. I've been the other man a few times even with friends long term partners. The way I view it is it's not my responsibility to the other person in the relationship to help their partner stay monogamous. Anything that happens between me and that person is our decision and nothing to do with the other person in the relationship. However, when I'm in a relationship I've never cheated but have been cheated on. But really anything goes between consenting adults, the responsibility ain't on you to be faithful or whatever it's on him.

[Искра]

I would never fuck firend's girlfirend... If you know that that would cause your friend pain, why would you do that?

[black magick hustla]

if i didnt know the husband probably.

[khad]

Absolutely never.

[black magick hustla]

yes absolutely. Nothing is sacred. I've been the other man a few times even with friends long term partners. The way I view it is it's not my responsibility to the other person in the relationship to help their partner stay monogamous. Anything that happens between me and that person is our decision and nothing to do with the other person in the relationship. However, when I'm in a relationship I've never cheated but have been cheated on. But really anything goes between consenting adults, the responsibility ain't on you to be faithful or whatever it's on him.

you are a traitor to your friends.

[Kitty_Paine]

If I was drunk then yeah whatever. I mean it's not my relationship and I wouldn't care.

Sober? Probably not.

I understand being a socialist/communist, etc. doesn't dictate who you are as a person but I've always had the impression that most were generally compassionate towards their fellow man, at least more so than Capitalists, etc.

But what I see here is self-serving and along the lines of, "I don't care about other people's feelings or well-being if I'm happy or getting pleasure from it."

I don't know, I just feel it betrays the whole concept of Socialism/Communism... unless you aren't?

Care to elaborate?

[Tablo]

I wouldn't care. I've cheated and been cheated on. I'm over the fairytale romance garbage. If I have sex with a married person then it's their issue, not mine. Monogamy is stupid and there is absolutely nothing wrong with a person seeking sexual satisfaction in such a case.

[NewLeft]

I would never fuck firend's girlfirend... If you know that that would cause your friend pain, why would you do that?
Ya.. that's against the brocode..

[Kitty_Paine]

yes absolutely. Nothing is sacred. I've been the other man a few times even with friends long term partners. The way I view it is it's not my responsibility to the other person in the relationship to help their partner stay monogamous. Anything that happens between me and that person is our decision and nothing to do with the other person in the relationship. However, when I'm in a relationship I've never cheated but have been cheated on. But really anything goes between consenting adults, the responsibility ain't on you to be faithful or whatever it's on him.

Of course it's not your responsibility to make sure that partner doesn't cheat. It's about compassion and actually giving a flying fuck about how others feel. Does no one give a shit about anyone besides their own selves anymore?

[VukBZ2005]

H-e-l-l no!

[bricolage]

No. I'm against casual sex and I don't like people who cheat. I'm hopless romantic ;)
I'm not against casual sex I'm just so shit at it I could never carry off a one night stands.
I don't like cheating though. I agree that there is nothing sacred about monogamy but getting beyond this someone always gets hurt and I don't see why you'd want to be a part of that. And in regards to the stuff above why would you want to lose your friends over a quick fuck or semi-relationship that's obviously gonna be unstable and short lived?

[Tablo]

Of course it's not your responsibility to make sure that partner doesn't cheat. It's about compassion and actually giving a flying fuck about how others feel. Does no one give a shit about anyone besides their own selves anymore?
Why is it our responsibility to tiptoe around other peoples feelings all the time? In such a situation their relationship is none of my business and it would bring me and one member of the relationship some sexual satisfaction. Yeah, it might hurt the other person's feelings, but people get their feelings hurt when someone they like gets into a relationship with another person. Should that person not have a relationship to protect the other person's feelings? We can't tailor every aspect of our lives to protect every person's feelings.

[Dumb]

Never.

I pretend that this position arises out of some sort of principles, strength of character or what have you. Even if only out of desperation, however, I must admit that I would find this proposition too enticing to turn down on its own merits; I back away from it only because experience has shown me that no person, married or not, would be interested. The proposition is entirely beyond my grasp.

[socialistjustin]

I understand being a socialist/communist, etc. doesn't dictate who you are as a person but I've always had the impression that most were generally compassionate towards their fellow man, at least more so than Capitalists, etc.

But what I see here is self-serving and along the lines of, "I don't care about other people's feelings or well-being if I'm happy or getting pleasure from it."

I don't know, I just feel it betrays the whole concept of Socialism/Communism... unless you aren't?

Care to elaborate?

What should I elaborate on? I get drunk and want to fuck. If that means that I'm a bad socialist then whatever I don't care.

[Nox]

Hell yeah.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Ya.. that's against the brocode..

Fuck the bro code.... it is a homophobic piece of shit (at least the bro code I am familiar with).

[Manic Impressive]

you are a traitor to your friends.
meh maybe but I'm sure most of them would do the same to me if they had the chance and have done. I don't sign any friendship contact saying I promise never to sleep with any of your possible future partners, I'm not reneging on on any deal I've made. I don't have to show any gender solidarity to my male friends and am entirely against the "bro's over ho's" mentality. So how am I being a traitor? The simple fact is if a woman likes me and I like her and we want to have some fun, who else does that concern? The other way round if I were in a relationship and had the opportunity to cheat I wouldn't be so quick to, as in that scenario I have a responsibility to the person who I am in a relationship with.


Of course it's not your responsibility to make sure that partner doesn't cheat. It's about compassion and actually giving a flying fuck about how others feel. Does no one give a shit about anyone besides their own selves anymore?
why should it be all about them? the affairs I've had are with women who have been in shitty relationships. They wanted to I wanted to. That's all there is to it. But it probably wouldn't have happened if their partner was treating them right in the first place.

[Kitty_Paine]

Why is it our responsibility to tiptoe around other peoples feelings all the time? In such a situation their relationship is none of my business and it would bring me and one member of the relationship some sexual satisfaction. Yeah, it might hurt the other person's feelings, but people get their feelings hurt when someone they like gets into a relationship with another person. Should that person not have a relationship to protect the other person's feelings? We can't tailor every aspect of our lives to protect every person's feelings.

Simply not fucking someone elses wife/girlfriend is not hard to do. And I wouldn't call it "tip-toeing", it's pretty easy... you either fuck her, or you don't. With obvious potential outcomes to both situations.

And it's never anyone's responsibility to make sure someones feeling don't get hurt, I understand. And all the time? I didn't realize this situation came up so frequently...

You are taking what I said too far... "We can't tailor every aspect of our lives to protect every person's feelings." Yeah... I didn't realize deciding to fuck someone's wife or not played such a large role in your life. Deciding not to fuck a married man's wife does not mean tailoring you life to make sure you protect everyone's feelings... hardly.

And sure maybe she would have gone on to fuck someother guy later. But she may have went home and worked things out with her husband too. You don't know.

I'm just saying, no matter what may come of that relationship, why would you fuck with another person's emotions/feelings for a quick fuck? This is easily avoidable.

Regardless, it's about just trying to be a good person in general. Even if she does cheat and the relationship fails, why would you want to be the reason? Whats wrong with showing compassion? What's wrong with caring for other people? And I'm not saying that you should be constantly catering to other's feelings! This is not all or nothing! It's easy not to fuck someone else's wife! It's so easy I'm doing it right now! :lol:

Anyway, I'm sorry If I came off as hostile, didn't mean to!

[Pirate Utopian]

Maybe if they were married to a somebody who was abusive. Or just a loveless marriage. Or if I was really drunk.

[Le Socialiste]

I've never cheated but I have been cheated on, and all I can say is it fucking hurts. I'm just glad I was told after the fact and not left in the dark the whole time, because while I could give a rat's ass about the so-called "sanctity" of monogamy I do prefer it when the relationship is serious. Honestly, if it was someone I didn't know well and I wasn't involved with anyone at the time - sure. Sleeping with the partners of close friends and acquaintances, though, just doesn't sit well with me. However, at the end of the day it comes down to the individual(s) involved and each person's personal circumstances. It's something that should be thought over and considered, not rushed into.

[black magick hustla]

meh maybe but I'm sure most of them would do the same to me if they had the chance and have done. I don't sign any friendship contact saying I promise never to sleep with any of your possible future partners, I'm not reneging on on any deal I've made. I don't have to show any gender solidarity to my male friends and am entirely against the "bro's over ho's" mentality. So how am I being a traitor? The simple fact is if a woman likes me and I like her and we want to have some fun, who else does that concern? The other way round if I were in a relationship and had the opportunity to cheat I wouldn't be so quick to, as in that scenario I have a responsibility to the person who I am in a relationship with.


it is not about bros before hoes. it is about making your friends go through pain so that you can fuck. it is about respecting the emotions of the people you love. if your friends are like that then I am sorry but you have garbage friends.

[Le Socialiste]

why should it be all about them? the affairs I've had are with women who have been in shitty relationships. They wanted to I wanted to. That's all there is to it. But it probably wouldn't have happened if their partner was treating them right in the first place.

I can't help but take issue with this, as it hits fairly close to home for me. I never abused my partners or treated them like shit (just the opposite in fact) and yet they still cheated. We had our issues, but honestly - what relationship doesn't? They weren't anything that could fall under the category of an abusive relationship. I was respectful and loving of those I entered into a relationship with, but that didn't stop some of them from sleeping around.

[OHumanista]

Never. I am not a casual sex guy nor do I like poligamy (but I don't see any problem with that either, it's just not my cup of tea). And also because it could seriously hurt someone.(and because I would be helping someone cheat their partner)

If that person is unsatisfied with the one she is married with then she should break the relationship or make it an open relationship.
Cheating on a relationship is terrible. If you want to have sex with other people you should either end it or tell your partner first and deal with it.

[Tablo]

Simply not fucking someone elses wife/girlfriend is not hard to do. And I wouldn't call it "tip-toeing", it's pretty easy... you either fuck her, or you don't. With obvious potential outcomes to both situations.
I agree. It is just a matter of me not wanting to concern myself with the feelings of every single person.


And it's never anyone's responsibility to make sure someones feeling don't get hurt, I understand. And all the time? I didn't realize this situation came up so frequently...
Affairs do not come up frequently. I've never had sex with a married woman. Just don't see the issue.


You are taking what I said too far... "We can't tailor every aspect of our lives to protect every person's feelings." Yeah... I didn't realize deciding to fuck someone's wife or not played such a large role in your life. Deciding not to fuck a married man's wife does not mean tailoring you life to make sure you protect everyone's feelings... hardly.
Yeah, but how far do we take protecting people's feelings? Do we just do it when it comes to this situation, or do we do it in more ways?


And sure maybe she would have gone on to fuck someother guy later. But she may have went home and worked things out with her husband too. You don't know.
The partner can go and work it out whenever they want. Their relationship is not my business or concern.


I'm just saying, no matter what may come of that relationship, why would you fuck with another person's emotions/feelings for a quick fuck? This is easily avoidable.
I'm not trying to fuck with another person's feelings. The one doing that is the cheater. It isn't my job to protect the relationship of the person I'm fucking.


Regardless, it's about just trying to be a good person in general. Even if she does cheat and the relationship fails, why would you want to be the reason? Whats wrong with showing compassion? What's wrong with caring for other people? And I'm not saying that you should be constantly catering to other's feelings! This is not all or nothing! It's easy not to fuck someone else's wife! It's so easy I'm doing it right now! :lol:
I think right and wrong is relative and I think people make wayyy too big of a deal over sex. Relationships should be about the feelings and partnership, not the control of another person's sex life. I guess everyone has their own opinions though.


Anyway, I'm sorry If I came off as hostile, didn't mean to!
You don't come off as hostile at all. I actually enjoy discussing this with you.

[Leftsolidarity]

If you had some very flirtatious exchanges with someone who was married, and you knew this person would never be emotionally available, would you have a sexual affair with them anyway? And why or why not?

I don't like cheaters or undermining other people's relationships. It's happened to me (not married though) and I won't do something like that to anyone else.

[Kitty_Paine]

meh maybe but I'm sure most of them would do the same to me if they had the chance and have done.

Those don't sound like real friends to me.



I don't sign any friendship contact saying I promise never to sleep with any of your possible future partners, I'm not reneging on on any deal I've made.

I don't know anyone who signs a friendship contract, I think being firiends is something personally shared and unwritten between people. Let me get this straight, you don't care about your friends feelings? Do you just not have any good friends?



I don't have to show any gender solidarity to my male friends and am entirely against the "bro's over ho's" mentality. So how am I being a traitor? The simple fact is if a woman likes me and I like her and we want to have some fun, who else does that concern? The other way round if I were in a relationship and had the opportunity to cheat I wouldn't be so quick to, as in that scenario I have a responsibility to the person who I am in a relationship with.

I believe he meant by "traitor" that you put personal pleasures over the feelings and well-being of people who thought you cared for them more than that, who thought you were their friend on a higher level than that. But If it's established between friends that they can have their way with each other's women, then by all means... but generally... that's not the way friendships work. At least in my experience.



why should it be all about them? the affairs I've had are with women who have been in shitty relationships. They wanted to I wanted to. That's all there is to it. But it probably wouldn't have happened if their partner was treating them right in the first place.

It probably wouldn't have happened you're right but you should at least try and help her get out of that shitty relationship. I just feel as if sleeping with them could compound the problem, plus that still doesn't make it right. I don't know, it's called morality... but I'm not trying to preach to you. I've never been in a similar situation so... I don't know

[Leftsolidarity]

why should it be all about them? the affairs I've had are with women who have been in shitty relationships. They wanted to I wanted to. That's all there is to it. But it probably wouldn't have happened if their partner was treating them right in the first place.

I wasn't treating my ex bad but she cheated on me for months. Don't make judgments like that. Of course there are reasons to why people cheat, it doesn't mean that it is the other partner's fault though.

[Bronco]

I would never do it to a close friend of mine, if it was the girlfriend of a complete randomer then maybe but it'd depend on the circumstances

[Manic Impressive]

I can't help but take issue with this, as it hits fairly close to home for me. I never abused my partners or treated them like shit (just the opposite in fact) and yet they still cheated. We had our issues, but honestly - what relationship doesn't? They weren't anything that could fall under the category of an abusive relationship. I was respectful and loving of those I entered into a relationship with, but that didn't stop some of them from sleeping around.
me too. Don't forget I said I've been cheated on as well. One of the main reasons she gave was that I was not protective enough. What she meant was I wasn't calling her every 5 minutes to find out where she was and I wouldn't take issue with her going out with her friends all night and not coming home. I trusted her and behaved in a way which I wanted from her which is not to be smothered and checked up on all the time. Which to her was perceived as not caring. The relationship wasn't ever going to work it's just that time it happened to end in a car crash sort of way.

I wasn't saying it was the same in every situation I'm sure there are exceptions but the women who I have had affairs with were all unhappy in their relationships as was the woman who cheated on me. From my perspective I may have not been doing anything wrong but she obviously didn't feel the relationship was going as well as I thought and she obviously didn't feel the same way about me as I felt about her.

[Decommissioner]

I say no, mostly for the practical reason of keeping life drama free.

No one person is so special that they are worth the risk of causing me a headache. Billions of humans out there, pretty sure there are plenty that can embrace a relationship (purely sexual or otherwise) that don't come with weird strings and baggage attached.

[Manic Impressive]

Those don't sound like real friends to me.

I don't know anyone who signs a friendship contract, I think being firiends is something personally shared and unwritten between people. Let me get this straight, you don't care about your friends feelings? Do you just not have any good friends?
yeah I have a couple of close friends. But they're close friends who have been around me for years so they have no illusions about my feelings on the matter. I was using friends in the wider context as in people I know, who I would go for a drink with or play football with or whatever.


I believe he meant by "traitor" that you put personal pleasures over the feelings and well-being of people who thought you cared for them more than that, who thought you were their friend on a higher level than that. But If it's established between friends that they can have their way with each other's women, then by all means... but generally... that's not the way friendships work. At least in my experience.
If I don't then I'm just being a traitor to myself and to her.



It probably wouldn't have happened you're right but you should at least try and help her get out of that shitty relationship. I just feel as if sleeping with them could compound the problem, plus that still doesn't make it right. I don't know, it's called morality... but I'm not trying to preach to you. I've never been in a similar situation so... I don't know
Morality is an entirely subjective concept. It's a set of unwritten rules created by an exploitative society to serve the interests of that society and quite clearly differs from person to person. Morality plays no part in the decisions I make on a daily basis. Fuck Morals :D


And sure maybe she would have gone on to fuck someother guy later. But she may have went home and worked things out with her husband too. You don't know.

I'm just saying, no matter what may come of that relationship, why would you fuck with another person's emotions/feelings for a quick fuck? This is easily avoidable.
Maybe she's capable of deciding what she wants and what is in her best interests. Without me imposing some blurry code of morality upon her decisions. Strange concept I know.

[Ostrinski]

I have virtually no control over my emotions and I'm hyper-sensitive when it comes to females, so if I cared about her (I've been in a situation where I've had feelings for a married woman before) and she made a proposition, I certainly wouldn't be able to resist. In this case it would be more about the emotional euphoria than getting a quick fuck.

Conversely, if it was superficial and only about having fun then I would probably reject any such proposition, because I would feel like I was exploiting whatever problem she may be having in her relationship.

Personally, I would probably never cheat, for reasons stated above. If I'm with a person, then they're probably everything to me. If a girl ever cheated on me, I would most definitely feel hurt, it's sort of a normal reaction. However, I would recognize her right to do so. I wouldn't try to exert any authority over her - patriarchal bullshit.

I don't know that I like this idea that women have to be loyal to their sexual partner. That seems awfully misogynist. If two people just want to have fun, then they have every right to do it, irrespective of pre-existing conditions. Like many people have already said, it would definitely depend on context (for me at least). Every existing factor would play a role in my decision.

As far as "not betraying your friends" goes, I wouldn't really have to worry about that, because I don't have any friends. I'm also a very shitty friend (most likely reason for the former), so if I had feelings for a friend's partner, I don't think the friendship would really stand in my way. If that makes me a bad person in someone's book then I don't really give a fuck honestly. That's completely subjective anyway. People shouldn't push their standards of moral health on others.

Picked I dont know, I would have to think about it...

[Chambered Word]

people who cheat generally piss me off and I'm not desperate for a fuck, especially since my best mate got cheated on by his girlfriend with an absolutely repulsive guy I know and we found out that one of our friends was being cheated on by her boyfriend (we still haven't told her yet :().


Personally, I would probably never cheat, for reasons stated above. If I'm with a person, then they're probably everything to me. If a girl ever cheated on me, I would most definitely feel hurt, it's sort of a normal reaction. However, I would recognize her right to do so. I wouldn't try to exert any authority over her - patriarchal bullshit.

I don't know that I like this idea that women have to be loyal to their sexual partner. That seems awfully misogynist. If two people just want to have fun, then they have every right to do it, irrespective of pre-existing conditions. Like many people have already said, it would definitely depend on context (for me at least). Every existing factor would play a role in my decision.


lol you're not being anti-sexist, just a doormat. agreeing not to cheat on your partner (unless you both prefer a polygamous relationship) goes both ways.

edit: like pirate utopian said there could be exceptions, if it was an abusive relationship I'd definately help her cheat on her husband, fuck him.

[Ostrinski]

lol you're not being anti-sexist, just a doormat. agreeing not to cheat on your partner (unless you both prefer a polygamous relationship) goes both ways.If letting my partner have freedom over her sexual parts makes me a doormat, then I am a Doormatist.

[HEAD ICE]

Already have done this. The last girl I was with was married but 'separated'. It didn't work out but not because of that.

[Die Rote Fahne]

Yes, however I despise cheating and cheaters.

I wouldn't expect a relationship to work. If they cheat with you they'll cheat on you.

[Manic Impressive]

Yes, however I despise cheating and cheaters.

I wouldn't expect a relationship to work. If they cheat with you they'll cheat on you.
disagree. that sounds like an almost human nature argument "it's in that person's nature to cheat" whereas I think in most cases someone will cheat depending on their circumstances i.e. if they're unhappy (for whatever reason not blaming the partner) but for whatever reason they may want a bit of excitement.

[Die Rote Fahne]

disagree. that sounds like an almost human nature argument "it's in that person's nature to cheat" whereas I think in most cases someone will cheat depending on their circumstances i.e. if they're unhappy (for whatever reason not blaming the partner) but for whatever reason they may want a bit of excitement.

Perhaps you're correct. I guess the measure would be that persons circumstance.

[Nothing Human Is Alien]

I'm not under any obligation to respect a husband's property rights over his wife. The only question that would exist would be between she and I.

[Chambered Word]

If letting my partner have freedom over her sexual parts makes me a doormat, then I am a Doormatist.

that would sort of imply that relationships are just about sex. good for you perhaps, but there's an emotional element for a lot of people, and for this reason many people agree not to cheat on one another. this isn't really oppression (in the sense that you're making it out to be) because in a consenting and non-abusive relationship either party can leave. which is why cheating is often considered a bad thing to do to a monogamous partner. :rolleyes:

[Il Medico]

I wouldn't want to fuck up an otherwise strong relationship, I would only if I felt that the cheating would just be another reason their relationship wouldn't work out, not the reason. I also wouldn't if I thought there was any reason they might not be thinking straight (drunk, just had a fight, etc). And absolutely not with the spouse of any of my friends, that just something you don't do if you're anything near a decent human being. It's not just a question of responsibility for being faithful or any of that shit, it a question of purposely doing something that you know will hurt your friend.

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

more than likely:)

[Ostrinski]

that would sort of imply that relationships are just about sex. good for you perhaps, but there's an emotional element for a lot of people, and for this reason many people agree not to cheat on one another. this isn't really oppression (in the sense that you're making it out to be) because in a consenting and non-abusive relationship either party can leave. which is why cheating is often considered a bad thing to do to a monogamous partner. :rolleyes:Of course there's an emotional element, I acknowledged this in my other post. I also said that I wouldn't have an affair with a married person unless I did have feelings for them. I was referring to sex in the post in question because the thread is about sex. I agree, cutting the relationship off is a perfect alternative. But maybe she doesn't want to leave, and just wants to have a fling with someone. I still don't see a problem with that. Unconditional loyalty to one's lover is an archaic tradition and is impractical to human happiness.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I put the "it's subjective option" To me it depends if they are honest with their other partner about it. I don't find it right to go behind a person's back but that's just me and I don't like hurting people especially if they haven't done a thing to me.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Unconditional loyalty to one's lover is an archaic tradition and is impractical to human happiness.
I agree, but being honest with all parties is neither archaic nor impractical.

[Agent Ducky]

No b/c I think I might be asexual. I've tried to get myself into the idea of experimenting with anything at all, and I just... no.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

I think it all really depends on the circumstance. I've been in that situation where I started getting really flirty with my cousins girlfriend but I stopped when I thought about what it would do to our friendship(We've been best friends since I was five, I'm not going to fuck things up because I want to have sex).

I do know some married women who I would have no second thoughts about having sex with if they were down but I don't think I'd be the one to initiate any flirtation with them. Their husbands are pricks whom I hate, I don't care if their marriage gets fucked up, in fact I wish it does so they would be available. There are people who I really don't have much compassion for, and if I had the chance to have sex with their wives I would gladly do so. If that makes me a bad communist I guess I'm a bad communist.

If it's a girl who is just looking for a one-night stand then I think I might, depending again, on the situation.

[Ostrinski]

I agree, but being honest with all parties is neither archaic nor impractical.Agreed.

[Art Vandelay]

Can't say that I expected this question when I clicked on the thread and truthfully it is hard to answer. I think first and foremost it would depend on whether or not she had kids, breaking up a marriage is one thing, breaking up a family is another. My parents are split and it was tough on me growing up, I wouldn't want to do that to a child. Secondly it would also depend on whether or not this was a strong relationship or if it was an abusive or loveless marriage.

As far as cheating goes I have done it once and it felt like absolute shit, I do not suggest it. I am not sure if I have ever been cheated on but there is a relationship or two that I would not doubt it. If it was a loveless or abusive marriage without kids and I was not in a relationship then I probably would, but I never have found ons that exciting anyways.

As far as people mentioning cheating with friends gfs I think that is pretty messed up. I personally know of a situation that this happened where the guy who was cheated on by his wife with his best friend went on to commit suicide, leaving behind his wife and kids. Obviously this probably doesn't happen that often but it does. Sure even if his buddy would have kept it in his pants his wife may have went on to find some other guy, but the fact that it was his best friend I am sure played into his death.

[Manic Impressive]

I'm so glad I've been able to offend so many people's moral sensibilities :laugh:

I said I slept with a friends girlfriend which is true but I was her friend first and I became his friend through their relationship. The reason I stopped it was because they have a kid together. I decided it was just too complicated and cut off all connection with them. I've no idea if he knows or what she told him but I can't think that he hasn't guessed or at least suspected. Anyway they're still together. So my actions didn't fuck anything up.

I have no regrets

[Chambered Word]

I wouldn't want to fuck up an otherwise strong relationship, I would only if I felt that the cheating would just be another reason their relationship wouldn't work out, not the reason. I also wouldn't if I thought there was any reason they might not be thinking straight (drunk, just had a fight, etc). And absolutely not with the spouse of any of my friends, that just something you don't do if you're anything near a decent human being. It's not just a question of responsibility for being faithful or any of that shit, it a question of purposely doing something that you know will hurt your friend.

this is not a bad angle to see it from actually.


I agree, but being honest with all parties is neither archaic nor impractical.

true, that was really the point I was trying to make here.


I'm so glad I've been able to offend so many people's moral sensibilities :laugh:

lol yes moral sensibilities such as having respect for one's friends. not really, I just think you're a tool.

[Manic Impressive]

lol yes moral sensibilities such as having respect for one's friends. not really, I just think you're a tool.
you just proved my point. you should have been a priest perfect job for a snooty shit who likes to look down on other people's sex lives :lol:

[Danielle Ni Dhighe]

If they had an open marriage, then yes. If not, then no.

[black magick hustla]

you just proved my point. you should have been a priest perfect job for a snooty shit who likes to look down on other people's sex lives :lol:

idk it isnt even about sex really. but whatever man, it must feel great to backstab your friends. :rolleyes: cuz u know getting your dick wet trumps the emotions of your loved ones. actually i dont even give a fuck about your life nor i am telling you how to live it, but you post in a public forum and say some dumb shit like backstabbing your friends is ok then someone is going to call you out. its not that you are some sort of hedonistic, amoral ubermensch just a tool in general

[black magick hustla]

comradeship, friendship and love and loyalty are not about morality, they are bound to our species-being. they are the invariants of humanity across civilizations and it is what gives life any meaning. only a mental midget would think talking about it is "moral policing"

[Tablo]

comradeship, friendship and love and loyalty are not about morality, they are bound to our species-being. they are the invariants of humanity across civilizations and it is what gives life any meaning. only a mental midget would think talking about it is "moral policing"
Fucking is bound to our species-being too, whatever that means. People need to get over this monogamy bullshit. What his friends don't know, don't hurt them.

[black magick hustla]

Fucking is bound to our species-being too, whatever that means. People need to get over this monogamy bullshit. What his friends don't know, don't hurt them.

its not about fucking monogamy ok. people get hurt real bad if you pull of that shit on them. not everyone is communist superman like you

[black magick hustla]

idk im not gonna debate anymore this thing. if its not evident that making yout friend go through hell is bad then you guys must be sociopaths or some sort of ubermenschen

[Chambered Word]

you just proved my point. you should have been a priest perfect job for a snooty shit who likes to look down on other people's sex lives :lol:

well I'm just glad you don't teach primary school reading comprehension:



agreeing not to cheat on your partner (unless you both prefer a polygamous relationship) goes both ways.


like pirate utopian said there could be exceptions, if it was an abusive relationship I'd definately help her cheat on her husband, fuck him.


that would sort of imply that relationships are just about sex. good for you perhaps, but there's an emotional element for a lot of people, and for this reason many people agree not to cheat on one another. this isn't really oppression (in the sense that you're making it out to be) because in a consenting and non-abusive relationship either party can leave. which is why cheating is often considered a bad thing to do to a monogamous partner. :rolleyes:

the whole point was that it's a dick thing to do to your friends unless you're all fine with fucking eachother's girlfriends. I'm not looking down on your sex life - like I implied previously if you actually cared to read any of my posts before posting, I don't consider monogamy some kind of moral high standard that everyone should aspire to and/or abide by, nor should anyone be able to control the sexual rights of anybody else. I'm actually looking down on your childish attitude towards how you treat other people who are supposedly your friends and how you act like it's cool or liberating.

[Tablo]

its not about fucking monogamy ok. people get hurt real bad if you pull of that shit on them. not everyone is communist superman like you
People get hurt all the time. I just don't see how it is the business of anyone whether two people decide to fuck outside of the two. Unfortunately, the Red Son I am not.

But seriously, I was cheated on in the past and it hurt real bad. I would have never even wasted so much time on Revleft if it wasn't for that shit. I just think there isn't anything really wrong with it.

[Art Vandelay]

I wouldn't say that your a tool, because I guess cheating (which I have done) and cheating with a friends partner is technically and fundamentally the same thing, you're more just a shitty friend.

[piet11111]

No i wouldn't because of the potential drama afterwards and because the cheating partner has proven to be untrustworthy anyway and might even blame you for what happened afterwards.

But that is just me though i never been in that position so i can't say i would think about it rationally if i was.
I think i would say no because i have a low sex drive though.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Fucking is bound to our species-being too, whatever that means. People need to get over this monogamy bullshit. What his friends don't know, don't hurt them.
Until someone gets herpes. It isn't a monogamy issue, sleeping around is fine if all parties are aware and consenting. The problem is if one person sleeps around and gets some std then it can hurt the person who is being cheated on and unknowingly and without giving consent gets an infection just because the other partner couldn't be honest. Then it isn't a monogamy issue, it is a consent issue.

[thriller]

No I wouldn't. I'm pretty sensitive (actually too much so for my age I'd say) and I'd probably end up being way too torn up inside about it, but that is just me.

[Le Libérer]

Until someone gets herpes. It isn't a monogamy issue, sleeping around is fine if all parties are aware and consenting. The problem is if one person sleeps around and gets some std then it can hurt the person who is being cheated on and unknowingly and without giving consent gets an infection just because the other partner couldn't be honest. Then it isn't a monogamy issue, it is a consent issue.

Amen Amen Amen! The new HIV/AIDS infection rates are averaging 30% straight women. And that brings to light another varible, men who are married and go out and have anonymous sex and brings back STDs to his female partner.

Right now we are doing outreach on Grindr, the male to male GPS app that locates men who want anonymous sex. Of the men we're are getting in for testing, a huge 30% are testing positive for HIV. AND the capital city in my state, less than 4 hours away is #2 in new infection rates in the country.

So though there are moral implications here, even more so are life changing diseases.

[Azraella]

It honestly depends on the entire situation. An open relationship where everyone is aware of what's going on is totally fine with me but in cases where there is dishonesty? Fuck no.

[ÑóẊîöʼn]

Insufficient data for a definitive answer. I'd like to think I wouldn't ruin a good marriage, but lust has been known to subvert clear thinking...

[Leftsolidarity]

Fucking is bound to our species-being too, whatever that means. People need to get over this monogamy bullshit. What his friends don't know, don't hurt them.

It's not up to you to make them get over it. If they choose to be in a monogamous relationship then they should both respect that or talk to the other partner to change it. Not sneak around and cheat, that's not ending monogamy really anyways if you aren't open about it. Also, they are friends. You don't fuck their partners. Is it really that hard to grasp? If you fuck their partners then you aren't their friend.

[Leftsolidarity]

Until someone gets herpes. It isn't a monogamy issue, sleeping around is fine if all parties are aware and consenting. The problem is if one person sleeps around and gets some std then it can hurt the person who is being cheated on and unknowingly and without giving consent gets an infection just because the other partner couldn't be honest. Then it isn't a monogamy issue, it is a consent issue.

My friend's ex cheated and got an std. My friend wasn't very happy that she kept having sex without telling him.

[kitsune]

It honestly depends on the entire situation. An open relationship where everyone is aware of what's going on is totally fine with me but in cases where there is dishonesty? Fuck no.

Exactly. As far as I'm concerned, any relationship I'm in has to be honest and completely out in the open. If it's going to require lying or keeping secrets or sneaking around, I'm not interested.

[El Chuncho]

No. I might be progressive but I still love my partner and find a quite traditional relationship adequate. I'd never get over the feeling of guilt whenever I looked them in the face.

If I was single, it would depend. I have had a relationship with a married person before due to the fact that they were separated from their spouse. However, in that relationship I more often felts like a simply distraction to make up for the missing husband; whom she'd run back to when their ''problems'' were sorted out. So I do not think having an affair, sexual or otherwise, with a married man or woman is worth it.

[Leonid Brozhnev]

No, because if the same ever happened to me, I'd be ready to kill. I wouldn't wish that upon another person. On the other hand, maybe if the husband was a complete a total bastard, I'd consider it, but only if I was single... which I haven't been for 6 years.

[Devrim]

I only once had a relationship with a married woman. It was about 25 years ago, and I didn't know she was married when it started. In fact I didn't know she was married until, one afternoon when lying in bed, we heard the front door open, and she announced that it was her husband.

Devrim

[Le Libérer]

I only once had a relationship with a married woman. It was about 25 years ago, and I didn't know she was married when it started. In fact I didn't know she was married until, one afternoon when lying in bed, we heard the front door open, and she announced that it was her husband.

Devrim

This is enough reason NOT to have an affair with a married person. I have this visual of you grabbing your pants and jumping out the window.

[Le Libérer]

My friend's ex cheated and got an std. My friend wasn't very happy that she kept having sex without telling him.

Thats illegal in most states.

[IndependentCitizen]

I'd invite their partner.

Could be good for their marriage, as it has been suggested that sometimes threesomes or casual sex outside of marriage can be good. You're getting sex, and they're getting sex.

Sounds like a bonus to me as everyone would be smiling afterwards.

[piet11111]

I'd invite their partner.

Could be good for their marriage, as it has been suggested that sometimes threesomes or casual sex outside of marriage can be good. You're getting sex, and they're getting sex.

Sounds like a bonus to me as everyone would be smiling afterwards.

I think the odds are more likely you end up with an axe in your face then the other guy joining in.

[IndependentCitizen]

I think the odds are more likely you end up with an axe in your face then the other guy joining in.

Oh, is OP from the states?

[piet11111]

Oh, is OP from the states?

I am quite certain that is the universal response to seeing your partner cheating on you.

[Ocean Seal]

Why ruin someone else's relationship for my own goals? If the relationship is bound to end, then both parties can end it. I just don't see the purpose of damaging something with very strong consequences.

[Solar Storm]

ah i cant post here i'm to young :crying:
or im not experienced in this stuff i dont know how this go

[Tablo]

Until someone gets herpes. It isn't a monogamy issue, sleeping around is fine if all parties are aware and consenting. The problem is if one person sleeps around and gets some std then it can hurt the person who is being cheated on and unknowingly and without giving consent gets an infection just because the other partner couldn't be honest. Then it isn't a monogamy issue, it is a consent issue.
If a person has an STD then it is their responsibility to inform their sexual partner. That doesn't have shit to do with what I'm talking about. I don't see a problem with them cheating, but if they get an STD they do have to tell their partner.

[#FF0000]

yeah i don't like hurting people and just the thought of people betraying people makes me really sad so no.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

If a person has an STD then it is their responsibility to inform their sexual partner. That doesn't have shit to do with what I'm talking about. I don't see a problem with them cheating, but if they get an STD they do have to tell their partner.
STDs: Lots of people carry them without even knowing. We aren't in the ideal world.

[Magón]

I had to fight a guy once, because he found out his girlfriend was leaving him for me. Don't know how he found out where I lived, but he did, and it was even more frustrating and awkward, because she was there at my place.

Surprisingly, most of my relationships have taken this route of the woman leaving the guy. Either through my own doings to attract her, or hers, which really she has the finally say.

[Tablo]

STDs: Lots of people carry them without even knowing. We aren't in the ideal world.
So what does this have to do anything? It sounds like you are promoting monogamy. Only way to avoid this is to get tested regularly, where protection, or not have sex.