cutting yourself

[Purple]

How come so many people cause pain upon themself, by cutting themself with either knifes or razors, or similar objects...

Close to half of my friends cut themself, and I believe it is to focus on a different kind of pain, than the ones in your head... But what are your opinions...

[Soul Rebel]

Its just a form of release, it makes you feel better at that moment that you are cutting yourself. It feels as though the pain you feel is just seeping through, like its going away.

I had many friends who cut themselves, some eventually tried to kill themselves too.

But here's the thing- we all have some form of escape when we are in pain (emotionally). Some of us write, some of us sing, some of exercise, some of us do drugs, etc. Do you get what im saying? Its a normal thing to do. Obviously, self-mutulation is more damaging, but it has the same meaning as other forms of "pain management (emotionally)." It just depends on the person- what they choose to do.

[Jesus Christ]

thats horrible, I have friends who I know cut themselves, but it doesnt seem to help
you should never inflict pain upon yourself

[bush youth]

I think most people do it for the same reason people would fight in "fight club". It sets you free? If you're that masochistic, maybe it does. Because then you would be happy and desensitized. I've never cut myself, but I've fought a ton and after you get knocked out so many times, everything else is nothing.

But if you're doing it because you hate yourself, it won't help. It's not the way to solve problems.
But neither is drugs and people still do them.

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

I'm worried for these people. I had no idea it was so common.

[RebeldePorLaPAZ]

Same here, that sucks. I don't know a lot who cut themselves with razors but I know a lot of people who skateboard and like the pain when the get cut but that’s only because it motivates them to try again and do better.

[ComradeRobertRiley]

My ex g/fused to cut her self with scissors before i met her, after a year of going out with her she stopped, 6 months later i left her, she didnt go back to cutting herself.

[BuyOurEverything]

Cutting yourself is a great way to deal with shit. It takes you mind off stuff and you can't get addicted like you can with a lot of drugs.

[redstar2000]

There's a theory that suggests that various forms of abusing oneself--cutting, piercings, tattoos, eating disorders, overdosing on drugs/alcohol, etc.--are all forms of asserting autonomy, ways of saying "I exist!".

People who feel as if they have no control over their lives, what happens to them, etc. can nevertheless control their own bodies...internally and externally.

Seeing no other alternatives, they can make "a mark on the world" by marking themselves.

http://anarchist-action.org/forums/images/smiles/redstar.gif

The RedStar2000 Papers (http://www.anarchist-action.org/marxists/redstar2000/)
A site about communist ideas

[suffianr]

Self-mutiliation? Shite.

Honestly, there's no point in stubbing cigarettes on your forearms or tracing symbols with cutting tools just to prove that you are in control of yourself. It would be more productive if you were to go out and just get yourself circumsized or something.

If you want to avoid drugs, there's self control. It's called willpower. It's the opposite of "peer pressure".

I used to smoke a lot of weed. One day last year I decided to quit because it just wasn't getting me there anymore, and I didn't want to try anything else (and there was obviously little else that I hadn't already tried!), so I stopped smoking weed. It was hard, but I don't smoke anymore purely because I don't feel like it anymore. Nothing to do with age, conscience, guilt, or whatever emotional bullshit you might be thinking of...I just felt like enough. Time to try being clean for a while.

Of course, now I find that I do on occasion drink more than I used to, but I can turn down weed and pills everytime I get passed a joint or a handful of e...So, wha's the problem? If you're worried about succumbing to drugs, and you think you won't be able to handle it, just don't think about it. If you are into drugs, and can handle, then that's up to you.

Hey it's your choice. I just felt like stopping, it doesn't mean I'm going to stop anyone else from having their fun... :)

[Soul Rebel]

Originally posted by [email protected] 14 2003, 10:35 PM
Cutting yourself is a great way to deal with shit. It takes you mind off stuff and you can't get addicted like you can with a lot of drugs.
I take it you dont know a lot about cutting. It actually can be addictive. Many people who start cutting themselves cannot stop. They feel like they need to cut themselves, its like they need to do it in order to feel ok.

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

But I'm guessing that their is no physical dependence.

[Soul Rebel]

Originally posted by [email protected] 15 2003, 03:36 AM
But I'm guessing that their is no physical dependence.
Well, no because you are not putting anything into your body. Its just mentally addictive. Like i said they feel a sense of relief, which they need.

[Tiki Man]

If you're going to hurt yourself in any way, I suggest a burn to the fingertip(s) with a candle. It wakes you up and makes you think for a while. The releif of water is amazing, and the feeling lasts for a while. The dead skin cells feel strange when they occupy an area where you used to be. Like a glove for your finger....but not.

Burns are better in my mind.

[BuyOurEverything]

I take it you dont know a lot about cutting.

Fuck you.


It actually can be addictive. Many people who start cutting themselves cannot stop. They feel like they need to cut themselves, its like they need to do it in order to feel ok.

Anything can be mentally addictive, like sugar, marijuana or music.

[EneME]

tempers....
anyway, I can see how it can be addicting especially when you haven't yet filled that void. I can definently see that cuz when I'd get pierced and after it healed I immidiately want another one, it was definently addicting to feel that pain. Also, I remember a point in my life where I felt completely numb and I had ways to "un-numb" (is that even a world?lol) myself that weren't too productive but good thing I never thought of hurting myself physically....

[Charred_Phoenix]

One strange, yet oddly pertinent fact: cutting yourself seems to make you heal faster. As someone who previously used it as a form of release, I can tell you that these days I can be cut fairly deep, and have it invisible within a days time.

I don't think there's anything really wrong with this practice, to be honest... unless you start doing it in such a way that it is life threatening. I originally began doing this when I was facing a deep depression, but now sometimes I rely on it to alleviate anger. If I get really pissed off about something I can do nothing about, I am prone to taking a knife and slashing it quickly accross my arm. I don't think it's done any permanent physical or mental damage to me, so don't be so quick to judge.

Regards.

[UnionofSovietSocialistRepublics]

Charred_Phoenix, Have you cut yourself many times? What was your inspiration, I meen when u did it the first time when you felt angry or upset, did cutting yourself come naturally or did you think about it? Have you tried any other forms of relief?

[Soul Rebel]

Originally posted by [email protected] 15 2003, 07:49 AM

I take it you dont know a lot about cutting.

Fuck you.


It actually can be addictive. Many people who start cutting themselves cannot stop. They feel like they need to cut themselves, its like they need to do it in order to feel ok.

Anything can be mentally addictive, like sugar, marijuana or music.
Damn theres no reason for you to get all fucking uppity about this shit. Relax man....

[commieboy]

i've got a friend who had a serious problem, she'd cut herself anywhere with anything. Once she stabbed herself in the leg four times with a FORK!!!

But my best friend right now used to be suicidal, she's still got the scars on her wrist. And i've never been more scared in my life, you know everyday she's not at school or answers her phone i just think to myself, "She's done it!"

so i just tell her, if she hurts herself, or commits suicide i will too, and she hates to see me in pain so she hasnt!!!! plus i dont want to have to slash my wrist

[Xvall]

I never cut myself for relief. Occasionally I inflict non-lethal pain upon myself, but that is simply because I'm trying to develop a high threshold for pain.

[Charred_Phoenix]

Charred_Phoenix, Have you cut yourself many times?


Quite a few I guess, but like I said, I don't do it anymore.



What was your inspiration, I meen when u did it the first time when you felt angry or upset, did cutting yourself come naturally or did you think about it?


If I'd had to think about it, I probably wouldn't have done it. ;)



Have you tried any other forms of relief?


Such as?

[Purple]

I've also got a theory that some people cut them self, to watch the wounds heal, unlike the problems around them...

I used to cut myself, and I got an infection once, made my whole arm red, and all my blood veins was showing... I don't cut myself now anymore, except a few occations... My girlfriend made me quit; she said that if I did it, she would do it... She also had some problems, so I said the same to her...


I suppose it was to feel alive, and I was also interesting in seeing the healing of the wound... How fast it healed, how the scars showed, etc...

[Tiki Man]

you know everyday she's not at school or answers her phone i just think to myself, "She's done it!"

Aww, I know exactly how you feel. One day when I was with my ex gf, after a troublesome week, she was absent. And I saw one of her friends as red as a tomato sobbing hysterically in the arms of one of her friends. I had never been so afraid... Next day, she was at school, I don't know why her friend was crying though.

And whenever a certain friend I have isn't at school, I worry. He was complaining about how shitty things had been recently. He was absent Thursday. I've been thinking way too morbid recently, it's nice to see he was active online.

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

Well, stop hanging out with those punks, joel, of course you&#39;re feeling morbid&#33; <_<

[Tiki Man]

Which punks?

And I worry for you often, Victor, you&#39;re the one with a history.

[Purple]

I&#39;m most in a "goth" invorment, and i just realised that I only know like one or two persons that dont cut themself...



thats pretty scary...

[Invader Zim]

I know a person who used to engrave things into his arm... he was a bulling tosser, who used to pick fights with people smaller than he was, and hang around with those bigger than him... He then got sent to "Facility", because he was out of his head basically, having seen him kick the shit out of some of my best friends cant say I feal too sorry for him.

[Purple]

i once cut a up-side-down pentagram in my arm and scrubbed some salt in it so it wouldnt heal so fast...
some people i know are members in this club where you cut the club-symbol in your hand...

[ÑóẊîöʼn]

Notice how this has an interesting parallell (sp?) with medieval &#39;flagellants&#39; wandering ascetics who walked around the country beating themselves with birch for the sins of themselves and others.
Most people who cut themselves seem to have problems they think are beyond their control, like flagellants.

[guevara-marley]

For me it&#39;s because of the pain in my soul. it helps me a lot if i cut myself.this pain(if i cut myself) is better than the awfule pain in my soul.I&#39;ve got many problemes wich i&#39;m not able to handle right and i&#39;m destroying myself.i know that it&#39;s not good but the whole world is fucking bullshit for me.i&#39;ve got one reason to live and thats my boyfriend without him i&#39;d have killed myself.it&#39;s fucking shit i know but i can&#39;t do something against it...

teté

[dopediana]

Originally posted by Tiki [email protected] 16 2003, 05:21 AM
Which punks?

And I worry for you often, Victor, you&#39;re the one with a history.
victor really didn&#39;t seem like he had to vivid a history of self-mutilation. my interest has been piqued. tell me about yourself, victor.......

[Svartvit]

You cannot deal with problems by cutting yourself and thereby creating even more problems. It only temporary lingers your pain.
It&#39;s kinda like eating candy when tired. The sugar rush will keep you up for a couple of minutes, but when the effect dries out, you&#39;ll be even more tired than before.

[Hate Is Art]

i have never been tempted to cut myself, even if you are feeling down there is to much to live for to be depressed&#33;

even the amazing fact that you are alive, you out of all the millions of other sperm were chosen, HURRAH&#33;

it just never seems productive to cut yourself, a song like hurt by NIN pretty much sums up the sadness of it all&#33;

[Purple]

yeah, specially the cover song by johnny cash was even more depressing... think it was his last song before he died..

[Hate Is Art]

yeah, its pretty depressing.

don&#39;t cut yourself, there are better ways to deal with things&#33;

[FatFreeMilk]

What makes people want to cut themselves for the first time? Like did a person get cut cut by accident and saw it felt good or whatever so they keep on doing it? My friends boyfriend did it at school last week&#33; It was crazy. And an old friend of mine used to do it too. I don&#39;t get it. She would have rather done that then talk to me.

[Iepilei]

I&#39;ve always seen it as a physical manifestation of the emotional pain experienced by someone. It&#39;s not easy for many to get out how they feel; be it because they don&#39;t trust those around them, because they don&#39;t believe anyone understands, or they may be outcasted or shunned because of it. When someone sees a scar, they inquire as to it&#39;s origin. People will ask why, what happened, what&#39;s wrong. It&#39;s a way to say something without speaking.

In my experiences with people who cut themselves, it&#39;s a silent scream for help.

[Tiki Man]

I was hurt really bad emotionally, so bad it made me numb. I could have been shot and not cared much. I was still, tired, and numb with pain. I didn&#39;t have enough energy to try to hurt myself, except for falling out of my chair sideways, which I did. It just makes you feel more alive, being hurt physically somehow. But I&#39;m not a fan of sharp objects on bare flesh, so that&#39;s disqualified.

VC, tell if you want.

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

Tell what?
I don&#39;t even know who the hell you&#39;re talking about.
You mean Cat?
What would she do?
You&#39;re exagerating.
Stop trying to relate yourself with melo-dramatic teenager TV shows.
You were fine. <_<

[Purple]

Originally posted by [email protected] 18 2003, 12:58 AM
What makes people want to cut themselves for the first time? Like did a person get cut cut by accident and saw it felt good or whatever so they keep on doing it? My friends boyfriend did it at school last week&#33; It was crazy. And an old friend of mine used to do it too. I don&#39;t get it. She would have rather done that then talk to me.
first time for me i just took a knife and cut myself in the arm as deep as i could... don&#39;t know why i got the idea of it, but i just felt for it...


cutting is very dangerous, as it gets more and more mentally addictive.. you should see the movie "secretary".. its very informing, and sad... it&#39;s about a woman that has been released from a mental facility.. her problem was self-injury, and when she gets a job she brings her cutting "equipment", and cuts herself...

if you start cutting yourself on a regular basis, you will start to have problems, as its hard to quit, and you just do it more and more....

[Purple]

if anybody you know cut themselves then do all you can to make them stop... it&#39;s a situation that you usually need help to get out of, cause it is usually because you feel alone, endarkened, or depressed...

[mentalbunny]

It&#39;s not easy to stop self harming but it is possible. if you&#39;re really stuck with it go see your doctor and get referred to a phsychiatrist, it&#39;s the best thing you can do.

[Bolshevika]

This "self-injury" idiocy is either for people with real mental problems or people looking for attention. There are more than one people in my school that go around saying "WOW, CUTTING IS LIEK SO COOLL".

[FatFreeMilk]

Hey, but what if the person who cuts themself doesn&#39;t want help and flips out on you when you try to get them to stop? Can you help a person who doesn&#39;t want it?

I don&#39;t even like that girl anymore, not because of her habits but because she&#39;s two faced (it&#39;s a long story), I&#39;m still kinda concerned though :unsure:

[Rasta Sapian]

i dunna about cutting for a hobby, a few friends and I tend to get a bit drunk and high, sometimes we beat the fuck out of each others, tap out&#33;&#33;
I would rather have a black eye or a bruise to a bloody scare.



impirialist&#39;s dIe U bLoOy PiGs DiE :blink: pEaCe In ThE mIdDlE eAsT


communism is the past, socialism is the future

[Purple]

then again cutting is more controlled, and not as hazardous as fighting could be at occations...

[mentalbunny]

There&#39;s nothing like a good ol&#39; slash up.

Don&#39;t quote me on that, I&#39;m not being serious. And there&#39;s nothing you can do about people who don&#39;t want to be helped, at least nothing I knwo of.

EDIT (after reading whole thread): Fatfreemilk, I first started cutting myself cos I was bored, it sounded interesting and I wanted attention (I&#39;ll admit that now, I couldn&#39;t for ages). It stopped being for attention eventually, and even more eventually I stopped entirely. The first time I heard about self-hartm weas in a magazine article. You generally are introduced to self-harm by something like that, people know about it&#39;s existence before they start.

And 1 in 10 british teenagers self harm.

[Purple]

As long as you dont cut too deep,or on the beneath of the arm there is really not much danger, but i must start working in a shop soon, so i cant have scarred arms any longer...

[mentalbunny]

Yeah, slashed up arms really freak people out, even people who&#39;ve been through it. I feel distinctly uncomfortable if I see someone I don&#39;t know well who&#39;s clearly been cutting themselves. It reminds me of who I felt when I did that.

[Purple]

In Norway it usually depends on the enviorment you are in... You could never find a rich snob cutting himself... They all go around with their diamond earrings, and their pink bandanas... But I have a feeling my class is a bit strange... Everybody except one person smoke cigaretts, about 75% of the class has smoked weed, and everyone seems pretty depressed.. But just me and another girl in my class cut themself though... But she says it is just because she likes to see her blood dripping... Freaky...

[EneME]

I never knew anyone who did that, most of my class/generation just became druggies or alcoholics.....or just did it excessively....It really made me sane, I would have been cutting myself if it hadn&#39;t been for that.

[Purple]

hmmmm.... cutting seems like the final form for self-pity... only it is always hard to admit that...

[Darkness in the day]

my friend cut/s her self and about 4 months ago she took an overdose and she was taken 2 hospital. she now goes 2 c a psychologist(or something) and is on antidepressants.i though she was getting better as i was the one she tols everything to but im not 2 sure cos sum of the scars on her arms look more like new cuts and on friday night she took 4x ther amount of antidepressants she is supposed to because she just "felt like doing it" everytime she not at school im worried that she done it again.plus in school one day she completly freaked out and when she was told 2 go home my other friends were so scared she was gonna kill herself.

[dannie]

Originally posted by [email protected] 14 2003, 11:35 PM
Cutting yourself is a great way to deal with shit. It takes you mind off stuff and you can&#39;t get addicted like you can with a lot of drugs.
i don&#39;t agree with you, i cut myself for almost 2 years now and i can honestly can say i&#39;m addicted to it, i&#39;m not proud of it and i&#39;m trying to stop but it&#39;s really hard

at first i started cutting my arms, more like scratching them, it was something i was good at, it got my mind of the emotional pain and the memories i have. i got really numb from time to time and when that happend i cut myself because it made my mind clear. i can cut away frustration or anger. i do realize these are not permanent solutions but it helps me to get over my shit for a little while so in the meanwhile i can work on myself.
at the moment i&#39;m trying different ways to get these things out of me, i&#39;m trying sports, reading, writing, making music, and it helps a lot
i wouldn&#39;t suggest it to anyone, my arms and legs look like roadmaps or something, got words like useless on my legs and i will have to carry these scars with me for the rest of my life

edit: about helping people who cut, well the worst thing you can do is force them to cut, blackmail them or things like that, saying that if they cut another time you won&#39;t speak to them anymore, because these things often make it worse, most people who cut want to be understood, and if you start blackmail them they will feel the opposit, listen too them and just be supportive, if they don&#39;t want any professional help leave it that way, because most of the time they are not ready for it ( i know i wasn&#39;t when i was forced into therapy), it doesn&#39;t work that way, because most SI&#39;ers start to think as SI is a part of their personality and it takes hard word and changes (and these are the hardest) to stop

[mentalbunny]

I cut again the other dya for the first time in almost a year. it was kinda scary but nice, the only problem is that society hates it, I have to make sure no one else finds out at school cos I&#39;ll freak them out and if a teacher finds out they may try to expel me like they&#39;ve tried to do to some of my friends.

[Hiero]

For some reason i could finish reading this topic it made me feels so quizy and itchy i am all jumpy now the i idea of the knife going into the body freaks me out

[Purple]

good...

[dannie]

this topic got me thinking about cutting and self harming, and i made the decision to finaly stop cutting, or at least really try too, i&#39;ve trew away all my razors, but replaced them with the support of my gf,
really want it to work this time

1 day without cutting and already stressed out :P

[mentalbunny]

Keep going jannez, it gets easier.

[Purple]

I&#39;m glad this thread was to help for somebody... Hope it didn&#39;t become too personal for some, but in the end it helped... I wish you luck, Jannez. You can make it if you really want to.. Send me a PM if you&#39;re in despair...

[dannie]

hi,

this week someone from http://www.televisiefabriek.be/siteenglish.htm sent me an email with the question if i would work with them on a new program, about self-harm, i&#39;ve spoke to my parents today and they are letting me do this, i think this is a great opportunity for me to talk about and get to understand my behaviour so maybe i&#39;m on tv next tv season in a show about SI
i&#39;m a bit nervous because he can call me any minute or tommorow to arrange for everything

[Purple]

I&#39;m proud of you :) &#33;

[mentalbunny]

Wow Jannez, hope it all works out ok&#33;

[Mike Fakelastname]

Oh man, this is my topic&#33; I&#39;ve messed up my left arm up really badly, there are nothing but scars. I use fresh razors at ever cutting session, so they go fucking deep as hell. If you&#39;ve never experienced it, do it. A fresh razor cutting through your skin has is very sickening, it feels like fire, icy fire. I can&#39;t stop doing it, a few months ago my arm got too scarred up so I moved to my chest, one time I made a cut accross my nipple, that hurt really fucking bad. I have symbols and scars all over my chest now, hearts, hammer and sickles, that kind of stuff, it&#39;s very ghastly. To anyone that says it isn&#39;t addicting, you&#39;re dead wrong. It is addicting, mentally. I cannot function without bleeding out of somewhere. I don&#39;t even own any white shirts because of that fact. Oh man...

[dannie]

i think you need some help, maybe you don&#39;t see it but your messing up your life, we are all, you&#39;ve became too much dependant on cutting and this will influence on your thinking and how you live your life

be carefull with what you do, try not to cut too deep

[mentalbunny]

Go to your doctor, get referred to a psychiatrist where you can talk abou5t stuff properly and find out why you&#39;re really doing this. it&#39;s the best way to deal with it. Good luck Mike, you can get through it, you&#39;ll come out fine in the end.

[Soviet power supreme]

Just out for curiousity.

Do you cutters use bandages so that the cuts stay clean or do you just left them as they are.

[Mike Fakelastname]

Nah. Plus it&#39;s not affecting my life at all. I never cut anywhere that cannot be covered with a tshirt, I never do the forearm shit, it&#39;s all on my biceps and chest. Good news, I haven&#39;t made any fresh cuts for two days. Eh... I&#39;m not going to the doctor for that, or a psychiatrist. I&#39;ll stop on my own, if ever.

[ComradeRobertRiley]

if you cant deal with life and you cut yourself your no use in the revolution other than a suicide bomber

[dannie]

Originally posted by Soviet power [email protected] 6 2003, 09:50 PM
Just out for curiousity.

Do you cutters use bandages so that the cuts stay clean or do you just left them as they are.
i use bandages but not for hygienic reasons, i just can&#39;t risk getting blood on my clothes/bed/etc.

after i&#39;ve seen enough blood i put them on to pressurize the woond so bleeding will stop faster

[dannie]

i&#39;m not the one that can force you to go to a shrink but i can try to let you realise cutting isn&#39;t that good


To anyone that says it isn&#39;t addicting, you&#39;re dead wrong. It is addicting, mentally. I cannot function without bleeding out of somewhere. I don&#39;t even own any white shirts because of that fact. Oh man...


Nah. Plus it&#39;s not affecting my life at all.

isn&#39;t this quit contradictional, it is affecting you, if you cant function without it you should seek help because i think you are already deep in the cutting-circle

[Non-Sectarian Bastard!]

Veel succes Jannez. Goed dat je ermee kapt.

Kan ik die zender ook in NL ontvangen of is het lokaal?

[dannie]

nee, is een commerciele zender dus alleen belgië, het kan wel zijn dat die reportages op hun site komen wanneer het programma start

[mentalbunny]

My wounds were never very deep, no need for bandages.

[dannie]

i cut yesterday, exams and shit... but i&#39;m trying again,

cut pretty deep, these are going to make pretty big scars,

owh yeah, dude from tv came over today and it&#39;s pretty sure i&#39;m gonna be filmed

[Purple]

deviantart (http://www.deviantart.com/view/4244787/)

[dannie]

like the pic

heres one i found last month
http://www.ruinyourlife.com/c1.gif

[Inti]

Havent kind of cut myself many times, but did one pathetic attempt on pass away from this world like 11 years ago now. Luckily for me, I had just seen movies where they slashed their wrists the wrong way so I did it too.. I had enough time to but bandaid on and kept alive.. I had a big depression from when I was about 16 until I was 19, but damn it was easy to hide how I felt for everyone.. I was probably one of the best liars in the world equal match with mr Bush I think. I wonder what wouldve happened if I had watched another movie where they had shown the right way to slash the wrists..

I have stopped the cutting stuff, but a while ago I discovered that my wife was having an affair with another guy... She doesnt know that I know yet, because I dont want to ruin her vacation now that she is gone for a month and a half. I will confront her later with that, when she come back, and if she tells the truth and doesnt lie, well then perhaps I can live with it and go on with her, otherwise its over. Anyway, when I discovered it I didnt cut myself but I was walking on the street and was in a place where there were no other persons and I started to beat the shit out of a concrete wall. I didnt feel any pain in my hands, I dont know if it was because of the andrenaline, the fact that my hands are tough or that I was in much more pain mentally.. When I came home I just told my wife that I had had to defend myself against a drunk mugger.. She seemed to believe it.. My hands were pretty meaty, but it didnt hurt a bit.. I guess it could be a substitute to my prior cutting attempt.

Now Im pretty fine though, the last incident was soon a month ago but I feel it helped a bit even though I havent solved the real problem yet. The difference between me now and 11 years ago is that I dont see suicide by cutting myself as an option. Its pretty selfish. If I really wanted to take my life, I could become a volunteer soldier for a just cause.

[Purple]

Originally posted by [email protected] 16 2003, 02:28 PM
like the pic

heres one i found last month
http://www.ruinyourlife.com/c1.gif
nice

[dannie]

i&#39;m getting back in therapy, my mom saw my cuts today, i&#39;m sick of them

[Purple]

therapy will do you good... my girlfriend are sending me to therapy on thursday.. im also sick of this shit.. everytime i get depressed, i take out my knife and start slicing... my entire arm is full of scars... i cant take it anymore...

[Purple]

both my arms and legs are pretty full, but ive cleaned them so it doesnt seem so bad...

[dannie]

i hate the fact that i don&#39;t have to feel crappy anymore to cut

i need the rush, the endorfines and adrenaline, i feel like a junk, maybe cuz i am a junk, i need to stop with cutting cause it&#39;s ruining my life
i hope i find an affordable psych fast

[Anarchist Freedom]

i know people that cut but now that i go to an all boys school and its private that really doesnt happen anymore. you see cutting isnt for enjoyment its for release its for escape its for knowing that your alive. basically when i smoked weed i did it for enjoyment not for the escape well sometimes but yah it was soo beutiful&#33;


basically dont cut yourself no one need to have fucked up arms


:che:

[dannie]

Originally posted by Socialist [email protected] 16 2003, 10:50 PM

basically dont cut yourself no one need to have fucked up arms
:che:
yeah, i wish it was that easy, it becomes an addiction, its not like, hey i&#39;m going to stop and stop the next day to never do it again

[Rastaman]

not for me but if it sets you free? fine

hey that rhymes&#33;

As a communist I must say that if it damages your ability to work and help a communist system or work against a destructive, evil system it shouldn&#39;t be done. Don&#39;t damage your potential&#33; We can all change this corrupt world but only TOGETHER. We are all links in the chain. If the chain brakes the load it carries will fall.

(in this case the load is the good, system)

You guys that cut should know: even if you feel like it, just dont do it. Its like quitting smoking. I&#39;ve stoped.. just by saying: No damn it i&#39;m better than that and i must be able to control myself. FOR THE SYSTEM&#33;&#33;&#33;

[cubist]

jannez?

you say endorphines, you find that cutting your self replaces these? or uses them up?

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I KNOW FROM BACK WHEN I USED TO HURT MY SELF THE PHYSICAL PAIN TOOK MY MIND OFF THE EMOTIONAL PAIN

[left for dead]

My girlfriend told me she used to cut herself, so I asked her why, she replied that it was just something she did and didn&#39;t even notice she was doing it until afterwards. I&#39;ve seen her mess around with scissors and razors when she&#39;s over my house, and I notice she goes into some kind of hypnotic state and caresses the scissors over her wrists. Everytime she does this I interrupt her, and she just looks at me and says, "I wasn&#39;t going to cut myself." I don&#39;t think she used to do for attention, as she would always hide the wounds. I believe cutting herself had to do with escaping reality(she also used to shoot heroin, she&#39;s been off it for about three years now, she&#39;s 17, she starting shooting heroin at 11, long story and don&#39;t feel like explaining), and I also think it&#39;s addictive. Different people do it for different reasons.

[BOZG]

Some people have suggested drugs and alcohol as a way of coping but for some people when you&#39;re completely broke, cutting is far cheaper. One of the main reasons why I started it originally was when I hadn&#39;t got anything else to rely on.

I guess I cut for numerous reasons.

1. Sometimes I get very very withdrawn and I just feel so numb that I don&#39;t know whether I&#39;m really alive anymore or that I&#39;m dreaming and when I see the blood flow it reminds me that I&#39;m alive. I know it seems a bit weird but it&#39;s something you really have to feel to understand. I suppose there&#39;s an element of the "I Exist" theory RS2000 was talking about.

2. It&#39;s a form of control, of being able to control your pain for once. Rather than feeling so much emotional pain and sometimes not understanding why, you can control this type of pain. It helps to make me realise that I still control myself to some extent.

3. This is similar to the above but as some people have already mentioned, physical pain can detract from the emotional pain to some extent

4. There&#39;s an adrenalin rush to it. Just like a thrill-seekers rush, feeling most alive when you&#39;re nearest death.

5. Being quite sado-masochistic and interested in vampirism, I find there&#39;s a sexual rush off of it.

6. I won&#39;t get into this one because it&#39;s something I wouldn&#39;t explain in full to even my closest friend but there&#39;s a sacrifical element in it. If I take my anger out on me, I&#39;m less likely to take it out on someone else.


I never really cleaned the wound as such but I always leave my arm running under water when I cut but that&#39;s only to actually keep the wound from clotting and scabbing over and allows the blood to run continuously until you let the wound clot. I normally just put a cut up pillow case over my arm which I&#39;ve been using for months, more to stop hairs and fluff getting into the cut from my clothing, than to actually protect the cut.



my mom saw my cuts today, i&#39;m sick of them

My family only found out about the cutting because the doctor checked my arm and found them and is &#39;obliged&#39; to inform the family if there&#39;s evidence of self-harm in a minor. Worst thing that could possibly have ever happened....had to go on a form of suicide watch and I couldn&#39;t go anywhere alone, couldn&#39;t take my own medication and someone had to make sure I&#39;d actually swallowed the tablets and wasn&#39;t hiding them under my tongue to save up.


A question for everyone, how many people have got the "you&#39;re just so selfish and you care about no one but yourself" routine yet?

[MiDnIgHtMaRaUdEr]

Lol, I don&#39;t see how anyone could do that. I am very squeemish, and just thinking of that makes me shutter.

[Purple]

Originally posted by [email protected] 1 2004, 04:55 PM



A question for everyone, how many people have got the "you&#39;re just so selfish and you care about no one but yourself" routine yet?
i usually get told to quit at once, and "every time you will do it, i will", which is so totally ignorant to say...


I do it for numerous reasons... Here&#39;s some...

1. I like the feeling when my skin is being divided as I see into myself and see somewhat a content, that I am made of something...

2. That I&#39;d find it to be rather artful as I can sit in my room, in total darkness, with a little candle infront of me, and let the blood drip into the candle untill it&#39;s all red... And I can sit like that in several hours...

3. I find it interesting to watch the scars heal, how quick, and what it looks like after a series of times, and etc.

oh sheit must go write more later..

[captain anarchy]

i cut myself. i am bipolar so im depressed alot. i at times hurt so much inside that i can&#39;t feel any release by sitting in the dark and crying, and when i use to do drugs they didn&#39;t help. so i would take a razor blade or a knife and place it to my wrist and cut, cut till i passed out from blood lose, cut till i bleed to the point of calmness, cut till i became numb inside.


at times i hurt to much for words to describe or to much to the point where i feel alienated from the world and feel alone or i get flash backs of when i was raped or when i was beaten and i hurt to the point where i can&#39;t take it any more so i cut.

i also burn myself with my cigarettes. i have over 15 burns on my hands and back. i have 38 scars on my wrists and at least 30 on my back but i didn&#39;t put those there those were from beatings. i have scars on my neck from cutting and faded ones under my eyes from the time i cutmy face and cryed tears of blood.

i cut to release my inner hurt and self hatred. i feel so discusting and dirty even when i bath. in the words of kurt cobain i hate my self and want to die. i look at my scars and feel discusted but know that cutting is the only way to be free of my misery.

[JokingClown]

I hurt myself all the time. But I do it mainly because I want self control. I have never done drugs, and do not plan to. Mainly because I would lose self control, and it is *very* unhealthy.

I have never cut myself, And I am not depressed or suicidal. I think about everything I do before I do it. I only personally know two other people who seriously hurt themselves, and are NOT depressed. I have never ever thought about killing my self (well not seriously) - everyone thinks about killing themselves sometimes, I myself have never thought about ways to kill myself, or thought deeply at all about suicide in any form.

I want to live for a very long time, I eat healthy, go running everyday, try to educate myself on a large variety of subjects. What I am trying to show here, is that I am not suicidal or depressed, I know it might sound like Im trying to convince myself, but I am not. I just know what people think about it, becuase of what others said when I told them.

One other reason why I do this is because I live in a white, american, middle class family, and have never broken a bone in my life. I once jumped barefoot off a roof and landed on a nail, it went thruogh my foot. But Im rambling too much so I&#39;ll stop. :D

[JokingClown]

Oh, and for the most part, I dont hurt myself in physically dangerous ways. One of my favorite things to do is stick my hand in boiling water as long as possible. Its pretty hard to seriously injure yourself in this manner, and you can take your hand out whenever you want. The hardest part is keeping it in.. it takes alot of self-control.

[Purple]

that was similar to the things that i used do, like beating the walls untill i broke my fingers, or bang my head against the ground untill i faded... but now i cut myself because it doesn&#39;t leave so much "after-pain", and i find more pleasure in blood than in standard pain... i express myself more in drawing and poetry, both things i suck at, but i find it to be more expressive than cutting...

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Originally posted by captain [email protected] 3 2004, 06:50 AM
i cut myself. i am bipolar so im depressed alot. i at times hurt so much inside that i can&#39;t feel any release by sitting in the dark and crying, and when i use to do drugs they didn&#39;t help. so i would take a razor blade or a knife and place it to my wrist and cut, cut till i passed out from blood lose, cut till i bleed to the point of calmness, cut till i became numb inside.


at times i hurt to much for words to describe or to much to the point where i feel alienated from the world and feel alone or i get flash backs of when i was raped or when i was beaten and i hurt to the point where i can&#39;t take it any more so i cut.

i also burn myself with my cigarettes. i have over 15 burns on my hands and back. i have 38 scars on my wrists and at least 30 on my back but i didn&#39;t put those there those were from beatings. i have scars on my neck from cutting and faded ones under my eyes from the time i cutmy face and cryed tears of blood.

i cut to release my inner hurt and self hatred. i feel so discusting and dirty even when i bath. in the words of kurt cobain i hate my self and want to die. i look at my scars and feel discusted but know that cutting is the only way to be free of my misery.
dude, why the fuck do you STILL do that. I told you to stop it. I&#39;m not mad at you it just hurtsme to hear of you doing this to your self.love, petey

[Purple]

Originally posted by captain [email protected] 3 2004, 07:50 AM
i cut myself. i am bipolar so im depressed alot. i at times hurt so much inside that i can&#39;t feel any release by sitting in the dark and crying, and when i use to do drugs they didn&#39;t help. so i would take a razor blade or a knife and place it to my wrist and cut, cut till i passed out from blood lose, cut till i bleed to the point of calmness, cut till i became numb inside.


at times i hurt to much for words to describe or to much to the point where i feel alienated from the world and feel alone or i get flash backs of when i was raped or when i was beaten and i hurt to the point where i can&#39;t take it any more so i cut.

i also burn myself with my cigarettes. i have over 15 burns on my hands and back. i have 38 scars on my wrists and at least 30 on my back but i didn&#39;t put those there those were from beatings. i have scars on my neck from cutting and faded ones under my eyes from the time i cutmy face and cryed tears of blood.

i cut to release my inner hurt and self hatred. i feel so discusting and dirty even when i bath. in the words of kurt cobain i hate my self and want to die. i look at my scars and feel discusted but know that cutting is the only way to be free of my misery.
here&#39;s an tip: do not cut yourself at any apparent place such as face or hands... when you start working you will have serious troubles getting a job...

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

just dont cut yourself at all

[Purple]

i don&#39;t expect anyone to just stop, when i say "stop". even dough i think that&#39;s the best option... find refuge in such things as art, or similar, just try... but if you do not think that you can just stop cutting at once i will say that you should at least dont cut yourself in an apparent place... its a judgemental world we live in....

[captain anarchy]

i cain&#39;t stop cutting i tryed but nothing else would take away my hurt. i cry all the time. i love you to petey you and amelia were there for me at the school but its like a monster inside that screams do it you will feel better. so i cut. its hard to stop. i don&#39;t cut as much as i used to. its mostly suicide attempt with in the last few months. but i still cut.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

no man you got to stop

[captain anarchy]

i tried man i seriously did the last time i cut was about a week ago when i carved the words i hate myself and want to die on my chest. i haven&#39;t cut since but the urge to is so strong i can&#39;t stop crying except for a few hours a day. and those few hours i feel dead and like i exist but don&#39;t at the same time.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

WELL CUTTING AINT GONNA HELP TRUST ME

[Blackberry]

Originally posted by captain [email protected] 5 2004, 06:58 AM
i tried man i seriously did the last time i cut was about a week ago when i carved the words i hate myself and want to die on my chest. i haven&#39;t cut since but the urge to is so strong i can&#39;t stop crying except for a few hours a day. and those few hours i feel dead and like i exist but don&#39;t at the same time.
Let me ask you something: Do you have a purpose in life? Don&#39;t you have something you want to achieve?

[captain anarchy]

i want to be a da and be married. thats all i want thats all i have left as a purpose in life.

[Tiki Man]

What about provide what your child needs to live?

(I have a similar mode of thought. I&#39;m going to stay as alive as possible until I have children, and then I&#39;ll try to provide, but be willing to give my life.)

[BOZG]

It&#39;s all well and good to have a purpose in life or something you want to acheive, but sometimes it comes down to weighing the good against the bad. Is achieving your goal worth all the pain?

[captain anarchy]

shit i love her more than any thing and she thinks she is three months pregnant and i care about the babys well being. she told me that if i kill myself she will killherself.

[Purple]

you must seriously talk to your girlfriend, and you must start to controll your problems more f you want to have a baby...

[dannie]

counseling could help you...

i got my first appointment on 26th, one of the reasons is that i can&#39;t be the best revolutionary i can be, with these problems

[Corvus Corax]

I find a good book that discusses the issue of suicide well is the Myth of Sisyphus, by Albert Camus.

I&#39;m not sure if it will help, but it&#39;s worth a shot.

[Purple]

that was a really good suggestion Corvus. I found an essay for it...


I suggest everybody having trouble will read it..

[BOZG]

Drip drip drip

[mentalbunny]

I cut myself a few days ago and my housemistress found me, that landed me in a lot of shit (people who read my thread in chit chat will know about this).

I haven&#39;t read the camus essay but from what I know about him, he was not a fan of suicide, but he had a good way of looking at it which made a lot of sense, and is definitely worth looking at if you&#39;re in shit.

My ex is apparently cutting again, kinda interesting. feel sorry for the bloke, he&#39;s had such shit luck in life.

Good luck Jannez, you&#39;ll make it, you&#39;ve got a good attitude for someone who still cuts.

By the way, does anyone know anyone who&#39;s stopped completely? Who really never goes back, because i think I know one person, maybe, but everyone else goes back to it every so often.

EDIT: By the way, that&#39;s not meant to discourage anyone, you should try to stop, because otherwise it&#39;s just going to get worse and worse and you&#39;ll end up in hospital, or worse.

[BOZG]

When it comes down to it we&#39;re all just flesh and meat so slice and slice away. Worst that can happen is that you&#39;ll survive everytime and spend the next 50 years in a state of complete and utter shit. Self-destruction is beautiful.

[cubist]

i feel sorry when i read this thread it is something i have never understood,

captain anarchy from an outsider who doesn&#39;t understand cutting onesself&#39;s point of view,

please correct me if you think i am out of place here

you need to obtain a grip on your life, something to work for in order to get by,
a kid would do it but you need to be stable before bringing another life into the equation,

i assume you are depressed which is why you cut yourself

depression is a nightamre i can sympathise with that part, i was diagnosed with depression during my a&#39;levels, it was through a complicated network of issues arising initaily from my parents going through a ridiculously hard patch with divorce looming.

also playing a part was money, it is the route of all evil, i was in debt.

this combination of events led to insomnia and depression, depression was resolved through alcohol and marijuana but that wasn&#39;t the answer it didn&#39;t help it just made the everything feel ok,

you need to stop thinking about it you need to find something to concentrate on, other than mulling in your own thoughts,

whatt sorted it out getting a job having a controlled structured routine something to get up for something that meant when i got home i could spark up a bifter in the knowlege that i have earnt my right to relax, and do nothing, it sounds so simple like this, i know its not, but you must try.

[Purple]

cutting is a form of resolving your problems, as you cephas, used alcohol and marihjuana.. it is the exact same thing.. kinda like taking different paths but ending up on the same place...

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

cutting your self simply takes your mind off the problems in this world though self blame

[Commie Girl]

:blink: I was a "cutter" for about 2 years when I was diagnosed with depression.....that was a few years ago and I was able to stop as I got better, but sometimes I miss it :( ....smoking weed is MUCH better&#33;

[cubist]

ok thought it was, i just never understood the self harm bit,

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I understood it but its something al must try to resist

[Purple]

Stupid me did it with a razor... Stupid me got an infection... Stupid arm hurts very much(the bad kind of pain...)

[ÑóẊîöʼn]

Stupid you should get it treated...

[mentalbunny]

Aw, lost prophet, look after yourself.

I cut my stomach the other day, nto badly, but it was basically to spite my housemistress and roommate, because they&#39;re very worried, but in a way that pisses me off. Of course they don&#39;t know, and they won&#39;t, nor will anyone else but you guys and my counsellor. I kinda regret it, but only cos I&#39;d rather do my arms and/or legs.

I&#39;m a bad influence, don&#39;t listen to me, you guys. Just quit.

[BOZG]

smoking weed is MUCH better&#33;

I&#39;m staying off the weed for a while. Reality is really getting fucked up for me....paranoia, imagining and hearing things, increased nightmares. Need a break to see if it&#39;s drugs that&#39;s causing it.

[Pedro Alonso Lopez]

Stevey the thing about our good friend cannabis is that unlike most drugs we don&#39;t realise thd kind of stoner haze it puts us in. It takes roughly two weeks to get back to normal if you&#39;ve been smoking hash for a good while.

And you really notice the difference. A few of my mates suffer from paranoia that is most likely from drugs, most likely from the stronger drugs they have indulged in anyway but I&#39;m sure the cannabis did nothing to help.
Your getting nightmares, I usually have good dreams when I&#39;m stoned but it affects people differently, as for seeing things I have had my share of dodgy experiences especially at night but it&#39;s usually the paranoia thats all.

[captain anarchy]

i think cutting is ok as long as its not used to the point of a fatal injury or as long as its a last resort thing not a first thing to do thing.

[Purple]

maybe, but it is not normal to do it less and less, if you know what i mean... it usually goes the other way...

[captain anarchy]

yeah it becomes a addiction in a way.

[Purple]

cutters and self-injury:
Check out ALL of these links..

http://www.selfharm.com/

http://s.webring.com/hub?ring=bus

http://www.vinland.org/scamp/institute/dsh.html

I&#39;m not sure if the last link works but I don&#39;t know what else it can be...

[Purple]

Read this one aswell:

http://www.mirror-mirror.org/selfinj.htm

[Organic Revolution]

i used to cut my self, and after it got to the point where my arms where covered in cuts i spent 5 months in a mental institution

[Fidelbrand]

i don&#39;t cut myself, i punched the wall, but not anymore.

[dannie]

went to hospital sunday a week ago, needed to get stitches, i just lost control, at some point i could just put the blade inside of me without even feeling the smallest bit of "backpressure" , i think that was fat because it didn&#39;t look like tisseu

today went to see my shrink for first time, back on drugs, sipralax or something like that, have to go every week, but i don&#39;t think it&#39;s enough, cause, i just can&#39;t deal with life anymore

[dannie]

me gots a question btw, can anyone of you cry?? cause i can&#39;t, it&#39;s been since the 28th of august 2003 i&#39;ve cried, that&#39;s when the mother of my best friend died, and, its eating me from the inside out, i can&#39;t get all these feelings out of me and i really need to, at this point tears are forming in my eyes, but at the point they should roll out they go back in, grmbl, all this anger and frustration and distrust and sadness just stays in me, cutting doesn&#39;t work that good anymore. i&#39;m really going crazy right now and i really need to rant at this moment, so, don&#39;t pay attention to this, it&#39;s just the rant of a crazy person, i&#39;m feeling lonely at this moment, sitting in front of pc, a dozen people online on msn but no one to talk too, all these fake friends, the truth is, i have none, at this point i&#39;m really trying to get this girl to be my friend, just a friend :P, and i think it&#39;s working, cause i think she really cares about me. i feel weak too, i didn&#39;t eat enough today, my gf thinks i have an eating disorder too, my rents too, twisted flakes is on repeat, you are, their singer is fucking hot, he&#39;s depressed too and a friend of my brother, i suck at playing my guitar, i just suck, no matter how hard i try, how much time i spent banging on it i can&#39;t get these nice sounds out of it

sorry, just skip this post

[mentalbunny]

jannez, my sister had a problem with crying too, you need therapy, preferably CBT, which is about sorting things out with your psychiatrist, not just on your own, and they teach you techniques to deal with stuff.

I cut myself again today, because I could really. But I can&#39;t do it properly, I have to keep cuts on my legs or stomach, which jsut doesn&#39;t feel right to me, I need to slice up my arms (although I never go very deep), and then I move on to the rest of my body. But school will throw me out if they see me doing it. :( At least you guys don&#39;t need to worry about that bit, although of course ending up in hospital is not a desirable state of affairs, so I suppose the restraint I have to have is a good thing.

[ComradeRobertRiley]

Originally posted by [email protected] 26 2004, 11:25 PM
me gots a question btw, can anyone of you cry?? cause i can&#39;t, it&#39;s been since the 28th of august 2003 i&#39;ve cried, that&#39;s when the mother of my best friend died, and, its eating me from the inside out, i can&#39;t get all these feelings out of me and i really need to, at this point tears are forming in my eyes, but at the point they should roll out they go back in, grmbl, all this anger and frustration and distrust and sadness just stays in me
I know how you feel

[Organic Revolution]

i almost got kicked out for cutting in school

[Floyd.]

FOR ME PERSONALLY AND OTHERS I&#39;VE TALKED TO THERE IS NOTHING REMEDIAL ABOUT CUTTING YOURSELF. WHEN IT IS DONE IT IS DONE AS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT OR A PRECURSOR TO ONE. IT HAPPENS BECAUSE OF SELF HATE AND EMOTIONAL BUILD UP AND IS AN ATTEMPT AT PERMANENT ESCAPE BECAUSE YOU JUST DON&#39;T CARE FOR THE WORLD OR BECAUSE IT DOESN&#39;T CARE FOR YOU.

[mentalbunny]

Just saw my counsellor. I&#39;m now trying to prevent a habit forming again, at least in theory. right now I can&#39;t really be fucked.

[BOZG]

I&#39;m back to just using writing as release. It&#39;s fucking hard going, never worked before so I&#39;m extremely skeptical.


I can cry, just when it happens, all fucking hell breaks lose and I&#39;ll end up just fucking breaking down.

[mentalbunny]

I can&#39;t remember the last time I cried.

Right now I&#39;m using my sister and her friend as support, mostly through Livejournal.com. If you have an account you can add me as your friend, I&#39;m under the same user name.

I&#39;m also writing. Mostly I&#39;m more suicidal than self-harming, at least at the moment.

[Purple]

Last time I cried was for about an hour ago... Still wet eyes...

[mentalbunny]

Aw, lost prophet *hugs*. I tried to cry earlier, eyes watered a bit but I don&#39;t seem to be able to do it. I remember the last time I cried now. It was about 3 weeks ago, not that long ago I guess, it&#39;s just that considering how shit I&#39;ve been feeling it&#39;s a bit suprising.

[BOZG]

why would you want to hurt yourself tho?

If you read the thread many people have explained why they do it?



they&#39;re crazy

Yes that&#39;s exactly it. We&#39;re all crazy.

[Purple]

Originally posted by [email protected] 30 2004, 09:20 PM
Aw, lost prophet *hugs*. I tried to cry earlier, eyes watered a bit but I don&#39;t seem to be able to do it. I remember the last time I cried now. It was about 3 weeks ago, not that long ago I guess, it&#39;s just that considering how shit I&#39;ve been feeling it&#39;s a bit suprising.
I&#39;ve been having a rough time lately, girls, loneliness, that sort of things... I&#39;ve been steady shaking four days on a row now... Had a little desire to cut out my heart yesterday, but didn&#39;t work out very well, but I&#39;m okay now... Cutting is now the only thing that can make me relax..

[mentalbunny]

Is there really nothing else you can do? How about having a shower or bath? Or writing about it, or telling someone, or holding ice? Just suggestions.

[dannie]

my first shrink adviced me to jump under a cold shower, it didn&#39;t work for me but maybe for you

[Purple]

Originally posted by [email protected] 31 2004, 05:40 PM
Is there really nothing else you can do? How about having a shower or bath? Or writing about it, or telling someone, or holding ice? Just suggestions.
I&#39;ve written 20 pages of poetry the last week, I&#39;ve got a new "girlfriend" I tell her everything, she&#39;s like something between a friend and the person I love, which is great because I can tell her everything... The holding ice think doesn&#39;t make the urge go away either...

I&#39;m reading those links I set up(the sticky), and maybe I&#39;ll find some good info...

[mentalbunny]

Aw, good luck. I feel a lot better right now because it looks like Andy does actually like me, and wasn&#39;t ignoring me on purpose. So that&#39;s all good.

[Purple]

Originally posted by [email protected] 1 2004, 01:35 PM
Aw, good luck. I feel a lot better right now because it looks like Andy does actually like me, and wasn&#39;t ignoring me on purpose. So that&#39;s all good.
I&#39;m happy for you... I&#39;ve quit cutting myself on apparent places, now it&#39;s more on my elbows and pretty much everything else than my arms, only problem is that I can feel so numb and everything that it hurts so much that I can&#39;t move without feeling pain...

[mentalbunny]

Aw. Is there anyone you can talk to? Do you have any idea why you feel so depressed and want to cut yourself? Cos finding out why is really important. Then maybe there&#39;s a chance that you can sort it out.

[Purple]

Originally posted by [email protected] 1 2004, 04:10 PM
Aw. Is there anyone you can talk to? Do you have any idea why you feel so depressed and want to cut yourself? Cos finding out why is really important. Then maybe there&#39;s a chance that you can sort it out.
I actually promised my new girlfriend that I wasn&#39;t going to hurt myself in two weeks... She&#39;s standing by me so I think that I can do it.... At least there is hope...

[Purple]

I&#39;m so fucked up in my mind right now that I can do nothing but laugh...

[The Children of the Revolution]

Man, reading all this is quite depressing&#33;&#33;

I used to cut myself, stupidly, but it didn&#39;t work. Find someone you can REALLY talk to, that&#39;s my advice. Not that it counts for much&#33;&#33;

If all else fails, (damn, I said I&#39;d never do this...) and don&#39;t laugh, please, how about giving God a try? Jesus? Seriously, I&#39;m not taking the piss.



We&#39;re all crazy.


No, not crazy. Not at all. But cutting yourself, in my opinion and with my "experience", doesn&#39;t work...

[mentalbunny]

Hm, not sure about God.

I find that if I seriously talk about killing myself with someone who&#39;s not going to try to talk me out of it, I stop wanting to die. At least that happened today, which I&#39;m relieved about.

Good luck lost prophet. You can sort yourself out.

[Pedro Alonso Lopez]

Read the Myth of Syphisus by Camus or even Hume on suicide.

I am pretty sure they will give anybody reason to live or at least justification for life anyway.

[mentalbunny]

I&#39;ve only read the first paragraph so far.

[Eastside Revolt]

When this topic was first posted, I coultn&#39;t really relate. I was thinking of it in terms of "cutting yourself". When I start to think of it as "self injury", I can relate. I used to constastly punch and kick random things (I still do, but in no where near as retarded a manner). Eventually it turned into me punching myself, normally just one or two hard shots to the head or thigh (I know EXTREMELY RETARDED, however I don&#39;t do THIS anymore). Currently my hands are so fucked that everytime I get into a fight, one of my old breaks is going to end up haunting me.

[dannie]

i punch myself too, my inner arms, my chest and me head

[mentalbunny]

jannez, are things getting better at all? I hope so...

[dannie]

the psych is good i think...
gonna be on the tv tinghy tonight, i&#39;m in the first episode of the tv program (don&#39;t know a better word for episode) that&#39;s pretty hard, haven&#39;t cut in a week tho, i have made a deal with my rents, if i don&#39;t cut for two weeks, they both pay a third of a sporran (the scottish kiltpurses)

[BOZG]

Find someone you can REALLY talk to, that&#39;s my advice. Not that it counts for much&#33;&#33;


A problem I find personally and from other people I&#39;ve talked to is that you tend to become very dependant on such a person which can be a danger to both parties.

[mentalbunny]

How about a counsellor? I know sometimes they can eb really annoying but my current one&#39;s great.

[Purple]

friends can be very hard to talk to, because even if you do not intent, it is very usual to hide feelings from a person that you are emotionally attached to so you will not hurt his/hers feelings with your own mental condiston.... i would suggest a counsellor, even if you do have friends to talk to...


(spare time psychology)

[dark fairy]

it is very common... that is why i don&#39;t tell my friends anything when they&#39;re doing that because i myself have done it... it takes your mind off things while you&#39;re cutting it is weird how it works but after wards you just feel better for a while... it is a different kind of pain rather than emotional pain and it does help...people just have different ways of dealing with things :)

[BOZG]

I get tired of talking.

[Purple]

when i try to talk about it i never know what to say...

[captain anarchy]

its very hard to stop cutting. i haven&#39;t cut for at least 3 months or more. but i want to so bad. i just feel like every thing in my world and life is my fault. i hate my self. my bipolar makes my moods go from happy to real sad real fast and with out warning at times. i feel lost and alone alot.

i don&#39;t feel like i belong in the world every where i look theres a person who says that everything i stand for is wrong the women&#39;s rights, g,l,b,t rights, the equality for all theres a new person every day who says that its all wrong. but i still stand for those things even if its me alone standing for them.

i quit drugs and haven&#39;t had alchohol in over a month. i still smoke cigarettes and cigars though but not as much. i am suffering still from anorexia nervosa a eating disorder that has plaqued me for years and is getting worse.

i guess if its not one bad thing its another. but i try to look at the good stuff in life like how i want to be a dad and get married to me fiancee who i love and care so much about. she understands alot of what i go through .

but i am not letting all my suffering go to waste i&#39;m starting to write a book about a person who cuts and suffers from eating disorders. all the books i read on those things are writen by phyciatrists who only put in their book their perspective of what their patients say to them well mine will be better i got first hand experience.

[cubist]

captain anarchy,

stop smoking it raises blood pressure increasing stress, nicotine also suppress&#39;s hunger,


good luck with the book though i would love to read it

[SittingBull47]

I think some just do it for attention. Ever notice how every self mutiliator walks around with short sleeves? (least in my school). I&#39;ve cut before (have a cut-too on my right now, the star of infinity) but most just do it to show people their hurt

[pandora]

This is going to sound harsh, but when i lived on the streets in Calif some of the Vato girls found out a trendy mod goth girl was cutting herself. They kicked her ass not too badly, because she was a skinny thing, I kept on them not to harm her too bad or I would jump in and take the heat. But I must admit at the time I secretly smiled, because they told her,"Don&#39;t worry, you don&#39;t have to cut yourself just come to us and we&#39;ll kick your ass for you any time you like."

And there was the thought well if she wants to harm herself why not fight or at least fight back. I guess my thing has always been to jump off the stage, jump on whomever take it all on. Why not, trying to chill, so I&#39;ll fit into mainstream society, but not so good at it still trying.

I think some of it was based on cultural differences, and part of it was we were stuck in the streets, spare changing and robbing and stealing while she lived in the lap of luxury with a scooter, and all the poor boys wanted to be her boy toy so they could live rich too. So their was definately that, plus before that she&#39;d been a bit snobby.

But after that she knew I&#39;d looked out for her and we would talk.

Now I&#39;m going through that stuff myself, I got real self-destructive last week and had to get counseling. Because I want to be successful to be able to help people as an educator etc, and I can&#39;t have shit on my record now.

I think sometimes it&#39;s hard to control these impulses because of the stress and lack of our support in our society, but telling people and admitting you&#39;re having a hard time helps, I think the ego is what keeps a lot of people from seeking help.

[BOZG]

Ever notice how every self mutiliator walks around with short sleeves? (least in my school).

There&#39;a problem that once someone who cuts wears a shirt sleeved shirt, that they automatically just do it for attention. I&#39;m sure many do, but why should someone who cuts be confined to wearing a fucking hoodie for the rest of their lives?

[Dsunsetlover]

I KNOW ALOT OF PEOPLE WHO CUT THEMSELVES THAT IS ONE OF THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN DO....&#33;....&#33; I HAVE A VERY CLOSE FRIEND WHO SHE THINKS DOESNT HAVE ENOUGH ATTENTION SO SHE CUTS HER SELF....THAT IS STUPID CUTTING YOURSELF FOR ATTENTION (ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR LIFE IS GREAT)...I HATE THAT... :angry:

[Lefty]

My personal opinion on this is that it is decent self-therapy, as long as you don&#39;t take it too far. If it makes you feel better, cut or burn yourself every once in a while. However, as soon as you start doing it for attention, that pisses me off. I don&#39;t cut or burn myself or whatever, but I have friends that do on a semi-regular basis. Telling them not to won&#39;t help, so I don&#39;t really see the point of trying to. The best thing that I can do is to help them by talking to them about why they do it and try to convince them not to over a long period of time. I&#39;m sorry if I sound like an uncaring, callous, cold asshole, it&#39;s just my 2 cents worth.

[Comrade BNS]

Metalbunny asked earlier if anyone has completely gotten out of it and I can say that yes I have&#33;

I never did it as seriously as alot of people here, but for a while I would stab a pen into my shoulder (never slashed....as stupid as it might sound I can&#39;t stand the stinging sought of pain u get from slashing etc...)

But I used to hurt myself because I couldn&#39;t feel anything. There were alot of emotional events at the time and I knew I should be feeling something, but I wasn&#39;t, and that&#39;s what hurt the most. So I would stab myself to make me feel something.

Well I turned around by using that in a sort of positive way. I couldn&#39;t feel anything, so I thought to myself, well if you can&#39;t feel anything at least you won&#39;t get depressed, at least when people give u shit you don&#39;t get hurt etc...(that and falling in love helped enormously aswell&#33;) and so now I am a laxed, outwardly loving and caring person...i feel so much love for my fellow human beings and it&#39;s amazing&#33; my advice for people is no matter how hard it might seem, look for the positive in absolutely every situation. Consciously remind yourself to do that and eventually it becomes habit, and when it is habit then you are a happy person&#33; I have spent the best part of my life up to now, being depressed, angry, pissed off, selfish etc... and I think back and it seems such a waste, and so unfair to the people around me that i could have done that.

Look at other people&#39;s problems as your paradignm of hope. feel love, empathy and compassion from them, and it will help heaps towards solving your own problems&#33;&#33;&#33;

To start you off: at least you don&#39;t have to walk 6km everyday for a single bucket of fresh water and your daily provisions of 200grams of rice&#33;

Comrade BNS

[withoutmercy]

I have cut myself numerous times, my best friend just told me she doesnt have time for me after a long time of friendship and sacrifise and my ex boyfriend who i am still very good friends with is angry with me so i do it to get away from my life and it makes me feel happy cauze i am hurting physically and not mentally for once if that makes sense, its hard to explain&#33;&#33;&#33;

[insurgency03]

What bothers me is that some religion smile upon self inflicted pain. Has any1 here heard of opus Dei, its a Catholic prelature, and it pratices self mortification where people actually whip themselves&#33;&#33;&#33;, and they sometimes where these things called Cilices its a razor covered shoulder bracelet that cuts into your flesh, its followers wear it for several hours of the day

[mentalbunny]

Originally posted by [email protected] 23 2004, 10:20 AM
I have cut myself numerous times, my best friend just told me she doesnt have time for me after a long time of friendship and sacrifise and my ex boyfriend who i am still very good friends with is angry with me so i do it to get away from my life and it makes me feel happy cauze i am hurting physically and not mentally for once if that makes sense, its hard to explain&#33;&#33;&#33;
Hope you feel better soon, you seeing a counsellor or anything at the moment? It may be a good idea. I&#39;ve promised my parents that I won&#39;t cut again, guess i have to keep that promise now.

[Nickademus]

me here popping my head in again.

many people cut themselves for many different reasons. my self, it&#39;s a couple of things. for one i dont have anyone to talk to about the shit in my life and i don&#39;t want to hurt the people around them by telling them what i feel. so many people i know look up to me and think that i&#39;ve got my shit together and they can&#39;t handle it when they know i&#39;m down and depressed or what not. and it is a release. when i&#39;m in a horrible horrible mood, i cut myself. nothing to drastic cause i have no intention of killing myself. but it makes me feel much better. and quite frankly, when i can see the scars, i can think, well hey i cut myself when this and this and this happened, this isn&#39;t so bad ... so i can get through this. i don&#39;t know its kinda bizarre. but i think its personal for everyone.

and quite frankly most of the people i know who cut themselves don&#39;t want anyone to know. my ex (who had so many scars up and down his arm that it was like rubbing your hand over a mountain ridge when you touched his arm) always wore long sleeve shirts .. i never saw him with anything else on (except naked of course). a good friend of mine doesn&#39;t show hers either... infact we all try very hard to hide the fact that we cut. i dont doubt that there are a lot of teenagers who are doing it to get attention .... i don&#39;t know what to say to them cause i&#39;ve never done it for attention. but for those of you who have friends who do it for other reasons, telling them its stupid or they shouldn&#39;t do it doesn&#39;t help at all. in fact it often makes us feel worse cause it makes us feel like we can&#39;t handle things like &#39;normal&#39; people.

those are my &#036;.02.

[mentalbunny]

Really good points Nickademus, thanks.

I think a key thing is don&#39;t feel guilty about cutting. my mum tried to do that to me before, it made me feel so shit, and it&#39;s not true. The only problem with cutting is it shows you&#39;re not happy in some way, it&#39;s not wrong in itself.

[Nickademus]

oh i have no guilt about the fact that i cut myself. it makes me feel better and it doesn&#39;t hurt anyone else so what the hell. its the same thing as bdsm people ... they aren&#39;t hurting anyone (well not anyone that doesn&#39;t totally agree to it) so why should they feel guilty.

if someone has a problem with something i do (such as cutting myself) they have to deal with that. not me.

btw metal bunny do you remember who i am yet?

[Lefty]

I remember who you are, and the points you make are valid indeed. While I agree with your point about cutting being a relatively victimless crime, and I agree with cutting having therapeutic value, I would just like to point out that the reason people get mad/sad/whatever at people who cut is that they are afraid for that person and want to help, and don&#39;t want to lose him or her to suicide. It should be made clear to the worrying party that you aren&#39;t suicidal and don&#39;t need help (Well, that&#39;s arguable, but you get what I&#39;m saying) and that cutting helps you.

[Nickademus]

Originally posted by [email protected] 27 2004, 11:46 PM
I remember who you are, and the points you make are valid indeed. While I agree with your point about cutting being a relatively victimless crime, and I agree with cutting having therapeutic value, I would just like to point out that the reason people get mad/sad/whatever at people who cut is that they are afraid for that person and want to help, and don&#39;t want to lose him or her to suicide. It should be made clear to the worrying party that you aren&#39;t suicidal and don&#39;t need help (Well, that&#39;s arguable, but you get what I&#39;m saying) and that cutting helps you.
oh i understand and that&#39;s why only 2 people (well i guess more now caues of this board) know i cut myself ... and well in the past i have been suicidal. but just because someone cuts themselves doesn&#39;t mean they are suicidal...people always jump to that conclusion, which isn&#39;t good.

i guess if you have a friend who is cutting themselves just try to find out why they do it. engage in open discussion, don&#39;t simply tell them they shouldn&#39;t be doing it. if you wanna help, they best way is to understand why.

[Take the Power back]

I would think that, although having therapeutic value, the chance of blood loss if a vein is cut, or the chance of infection, is pretty high. For some who does it, not wanting to kill themselves, this could be a problem when they slice open a vein and it won&#39;t stop bleeding.

[Nickademus]

Originally posted by Take the Power [email protected] 28 2004, 07:58 AM
I would think that, although having therapeutic value, the chance of blood loss if a vein is cut, or the chance of infection, is pretty high. For some who does it, not wanting to kill themselves, this could be a problem when they slice open a vein and it won&#39;t stop bleeding.
well first of all there are some precautions ... its naturally better to cut the right arm cause if you cut too deep on the left you could hit your main artory (or whatever it is) that could lead to that ... and the other thing is that you cut across or on an angle ... not up and down ... we&#39;re not trying to open any veins etc. enough so that they can&#39;t clot. if you cut across you don&#39;t have to worry about it .... and really .. if you&#39;re doing it relatively far away from your wrist you are relatively safe... you have to cut pretty deep
for example i cut on my upper arm ... course i&#39;m a larger woman but you still have to get pretty deep to bleed to death.

but youre right it is a concern .....but i think many of us who do cut are careful about that .. because many of us don&#39;t want to end our lives ... hell i didn&#39;t cut at all when i was suicidal.

[mentalbunny]

Originally posted by [email protected] 29 2004, 12:06 AM
hell i didn&#39;t cut at all when i was suicidal.
Funny that, same for me, mostly.

[Lefty]

I burned myself back in the day. I would hold a lighter on for about a minute, until the metal got really really hot, and I would burn my thighs or some other part of me that few people see. The cool thing about that is that if anyone ever did see them, I could laugh it off as drunken antics, and they rarely scarred.

[Instinct For Freedom]

All of my girlfriends have taken part in self-injury and it&#39;s quite sad. I wish people didn&#39;t do it...it&#39;s rather depressing just thinking about it. That, and I don&#39;t see the point to it at all.

[Take the Power back]

Originally posted by Instinct For [email protected] 29 2004, 04:43 AM
All of my girlfriends have taken part in self-injury and it&#39;s quite sad. I wish people didn&#39;t do it...it&#39;s rather depressing just thinking about it. That, and I don&#39;t see the point to it at all.
I can relate. I had a girlfriend who shared all of my interests, but she was into cutting herself. It made me sad when she did it, but she had problems in her life that I could barely relate to.

[Nickademus]

Originally posted by Instinct For [email protected] 28 2004, 08:43 PM
All of my girlfriends have taken part in self-injury and it&#39;s quite sad. I wish people didn&#39;t do it...it&#39;s rather depressing just thinking about it. That, and I don&#39;t see the point to it at all.
please see my reasons above for why some people cut ..or more specifically me.

and i can tell you i just cut myself about 5 minutes ago ........its pain ......i&#39;m feeling so much mental pain and i feel like such a piece of shit that if i cut myself and focus on the pain i&#39;ve caused myself i feel somehow better....

i understand that people are upset about what we do ... and i&#39;m glad there are people out there that care about whether or not i cut myself ... but the point is .. at leat in my case... i&#39;m alone. i have absolutely no one to turn to that i can trust...no one who can even remotely trust ......i need to get out all the feeling inside me and quite frankly a few swipes with my knife and i forget a lot fo my pain ....it makes it all seem relative.


but again i&#39;m glad there are so many people that care ... but don&#39;t make it sound like you are mad or anything... just try to be supportive of the people who need your help.

[BOZG]

All of my girlfriends have taken part in self-injury and it&#39;s quite sad. I wish people didn&#39;t do it...it&#39;s rather depressing just thinking about it. That, and I don&#39;t see the point to it at all.



I can relate. I had a girlfriend who shared all of my interests, but she was into cutting herself. It made me sad when she did it, but she had problems in her life that I could barely relate to.

I find that quite interesting because I&#39;m pretty much the opposite, I don&#39;t think I could ever go out with someone on a long term basis unless they understood the point to cutting. And to be honest I don&#39;t think I could be with anyone who hasn&#39;t gone through serious depression at some stage. I think that I would be too much of a burden on anyone else because they wouldn&#39;t really be able to understand or cope with what I go through. I think it would really tend to scare other people away.