Annoying Facebook Post explained?

[The Young Pioneer]

Has anyone else seen this posted somewhere? A friend of mine posted it to facebook and it really rubs me the wrong way- I can't eloquently describe why, but maybe others among you have opinions of it?


SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,
and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with
a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

THE FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads,
because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon'
and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You worship them.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both have mad cow disease .

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the s**t out of you
and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive!

[TheGodlessUtopian]

I'm not sure I see the point of this post.

(Rather racist though)

[Agent Ducky]

I dunno, some of it is funny but some of it is stupid. I guess that happens when you vastly oversimplify economics/use national stereotypes. Whatever. Not meant to be taken seriously.

[The Young Pioneer]

I'm not sure I see the point of this post.

(Rather racist though)

Hey don't shoot the messenger, I just wanted opinions! I think it's overgeneralising and the communist thing is just plain wrong. :mad:

Also- This was posted by a self-proclaimed "Minarcho-capitalist", which I have never heard of. WTF is that?

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Hey don't shoot the messenger, I just wanted opinions! I think it's overgeneralising and the communist thing is just plain wrong. :mad:

That's what I meant.lol....the facebook post is racist not you.


Also- This was posted by a self-proclaimed "Minarcho-capitalist", which I have never heard of. WTF is that?Never heard of it either.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

That was dumb as shit, didn't even read half of it. Why would you pay any attention to it?

[Ocean Seal]

[QUOTE]TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.[QUOTE]

Fine idealism...
How it really is

[QUOTE]TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
Pick a number 1-100
The number was:79
Did you pick it?
If yes...
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
The you hire some wage slaves
Your herd multiplies and hire workers to milk them
You pay them shit wages and extract the surplus value
You retire rich and fire all of your workers
If no...
Workers of the world unite
[QUOTE]

[Leftsolidarity]

Also- This was posted by a self-proclaimed "Minarcho-capitalist", which I have never heard of. WTF is that?

Fucking stupid that's what. They are also called Minarchists (or some other stupid variations). They are basically "anarcho"-capitalists that realized that capitalism needs some sort of state to exist. They accept the existance of the smallest, most limited state possible; usually only dealing with law and order and the military. I'm no expert (because it's a waste of time) so I might be a tiny bit off but for some reason a long time ago I watched like a 20 minute rant on youtube from a Minarchist.

[Bronco]

Also- This was posted by a self-proclaimed "Minarcho-capitalist", which I have never heard of. WTF is that?

I guess it means Minarchism, which is a branch of Libertarianism and is very close to Anarcho-Capitalism, it essentially considers the only purpose of the State to protect individuals & their liberties so would basically only provide a Police force, an Army, and the Courts, what would be called a "night watchman state". Robert Nozick (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Nozick) is probably one of the most important exponents of this theory, with his book Anarchy, State and Utopia

Edit - yeah Leftsolidarity pretty much covered it

[Misanthrope]

It's a classic poster and slogan used a lot. There was a poster of this (the first couple) in my 8th grade history class. Simplicity at its worst.

[∞]

Give me a T!
Give me a R!
Give me an A!
Give me a S!
Give me an H!

Give me a C!
Give me an A!
Give me an N!

Whats that spell!?

















TRASHCAN!

[TheGodlessUtopian]

It's a classic poster and slogan used a lot. There was a poster of this (the first couple) in my 8th grade history class. Simplicity at its worst.

Same here,I remember it hanging on the wall of my 8th grade history room.

Cute cartoon though.

[NewLeft]

Primitivism
You have two cows.
You become a cow.
You have three cows.

Veganism
You have two cows.
The end.

[Catma]

Oh, are we doing this?

Trotskyism
You have two cows. You utilize their talents and unique bovine experience to produce a newspaper in order to attract more cows.

Marxism-Leninism
You had ten thousand cows. Each udder had four nipples that produced whole milk, skim milk, chocolate milk, and petroleum respectively. They also had laser vision and were capable of accelerating from zero to sixty in one second and then taking to the air. Unfortunately, the outside aggressor had twenty thousand such cows.

Anarchism
You managed to obtain a fairly large herd, but had to separate out the bulls because they were exhibiting hierarchical behavior. For some reason the cows aren't producing milk anymore.

[xub3rn00dlex]

Revleftism.

You have two cows.
You ban both cows.
The end.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Stormfront-ism

You have two cows
You see that one cow has black spots
Shoot both cows because one was 'mixed' and the other a race traitor
then you establish a white cow only farm
then you wonder why people call you racist
the end

[Nox]

Maoism Third Worldism:

You have two cows
You neglect them because you're too busy plotting to kill white trotskyite fascist bourgeois liberal workers.

[Leftsolidarity]

American Capitalism

You have 2 cows
You realize that small-time farmers have been destroyed so you sell your cows to a big-time farmer for far less than they are worth, move to the city to work a shitty job that you can't support your family with. Eventually you resort to petty theft to support your family but get caught by the police. You go to jail and the state takes your kids. You get out of jail in 3 years to find your life is ruined. You kill yourself.

[Nox]

Cuban State Capitalism

You have 2 cows
You have no worries, a relaxed life and some nice cuban cigars

[Apoi_Viitor]

Trotskyism
You have two cows. You utilize their talents and unique bovine experience to produce a newspaper in order to attract more cows.

Trotskyism
You have two cows.
You neglect them both and whine about how Stalin betrayed the soviet union.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Cuban State Capitalism

You have 2 cows
You have no worries, a relaxed life and some nice cuban cigars

Cuban State Capitalism
You have two cows
You watch those two cows become increasingly bourgeois as the imperialist bovines have continued to upheld that grain embargo.

[Nox]

Trotskyism
You have two cows.
You neglect them both and whine about how Stalin betrayed the soviet union.

Trotskyism

You have two cows.
They stand up for animal worker's rights.
They get shot.

[Meditation]

pleas tell your friend that he is relay stupid

thank you

-Meditation

[Tablo]

This thread got really funny really fast.

Yeah, I've seen those facebook posts before. They are always posted by pseudo-intellectuals that have no understanding of economics.

[Stork]

Reminds me of this (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/467574)

[JerryBiscoTrey]

Kinda racist huh?

[Stork]

Kinda racist huh?
I don't think so, it's just playing on national stereotypes, are Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman jokes racist?

[xub3rn00dlex]

Right wing fundamentalism

You have two cows.
You have no bulls.
You have two lesbian cows.
Pass legislation barring the the cows from grazing freely.
Rant about it during election, sanctity of bovinity.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

I don't think so, it's just playing on national stereotypes, are Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman jokes racist?

I,personally, consider them to be,yes.

[xub3rn00dlex]

Russian state capitalism

You have two cows.
One cow tips over the other cow.
That cow rules with an iron hoof.

[Leftsolidarity]

I'm enjoying this...

[Stork]

I,personally, consider them to be,yes.
Well, I suppose that is different because that is overtly negative stereotypes but it's almost always done in irony or done in terms of endearment. But these Jokes all seem to be benign and the few that are negative, the Russian and the Italian are to be taken with a pinch of salt.

[Commissar Rykov]

Trotskyism
You have two cows.
You neglect them both and whine about how Stalin betrayed the soviet union.
"Why doesn't that goddamn Stalin feed my goddamn cows?" -Ole' Man Trotsky

[Meditation]

[QUOTE=Stork;2313390]Reminds me of
i keep failing the levels :crying:

[Leftsolidarity]

Juche-ism

You have 2 cows
You send them both to labor camps for disrespecting the Dear Leader

[∞]

∞ism

You have two cows.
You genetically modify them so they can breathe fire and shit out cheesecakes.

[Stork]

Creationism
You have two cows
build me an ark 300 cubits in length and load them onto it.

[Red Rabbit]

I like how this thread is slowly turning into a tendency war but with cows.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

I like how this thread is slowly turning into a tendency war but with cows.

I too like it.Where are the Stalinists though?

[xub3rn00dlex]

∞ism

You have two cows.
You genetically modify them so they can breathe fire and shit out cheesecakes.

i have officially become a follower of ∞ism

[TheGodlessUtopian]

i have officially become a follower of ∞ism

Then join the usergroup.lol

[NewLeft]

I too like it.Where are the Stalinists though?

Busy sending the cows to the gulags..

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Busy sending the cows to the gulags..

You mean the stables...right? :D

[Agent Ducky]

Reminds me of this (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/467574)

This game made my day. Dunno why.

[ColonelCossack]

Tee hee.

For some reason I laughed most at the racist ones...

Does that mean I'm racist or a scorn and mock racism? I think the latter.

[ColonelCossack]

I too like it.Where are the Stalinists though?

Anarchism

You have two cows
They have a revolution against the farmer,
But the farmer comes back and shoots them when they try to hug him.

Marxism-Leninism

You have two cows
They have a revolution against the farmer,
Then viscously maul him and send his broken body to a gulag, when he tries to shoot them.



Both seem somewhat shit, but with the second one both cows benefit while in the first only one farmer benefits.

Edit:
viscously Damn spellcheck! :cursing:

[Nox]

In Soviet Russia:

Two cows have you

[∞]

Anarchism
You have two cows
They have a revolution against the farmer,
But the farmer comes back and shoots them when they try to hug him.


That makes no sense.

[NoOneIsIllegal]

Anarcho-Syndicalism
You use to have two cows.
They're on strike.

Hoxhaists
You have two cows.
They don't matter, because cows can't build bunkers.

Maoist Third Worldism
You have two cows.
They have a pretty important youtube channel.

[Chambered Word]

In Soviet Russia:

Two cows have you


Anarcho-Syndicalism
You use to have two cows.
They're on strike.

Hoxhaists
You have two cows.
They don't matter, because cows can't build bunkers.

Maoist Third Worldism
You have two cows.
They have a pretty important youtube channel.

lol

[∞]

Anarcho-Syndicalism
You use to have two cows.
They're on strike.

Hoxhaists
You have two cows.
They don't matter, because cows can't build bunkers.

Maoist Third Worldism
You have two cows.
They have a pretty important youtube channel.

perfect

[Leftsolidarity]

Anarcho-Syndicalism
You use to have two cows.
They're on strike.

Hoxhaists
You have two cows.
They don't matter, because cows can't build bunkers.

Maoist Third Worldism
You have two cows.
They have a pretty important youtube channel.

yes

[PC LOAD LETTER]

Anarcho-Syndicalism
You use to have two cows.
They're on strike.

Hoxhaists
You have two cows.
They don't matter, because cows can't build bunkers.

Maoist Third Worldism
You have two cows.
They have a pretty important youtube channel.
This is great

[Agent Ducky]

Anarcho-Syndicalism
You use to have two cows.
They're on strike.

Hoxhaists
You have two cows.
They don't matter, because cows can't build bunkers.

Maoist Third Worldism
You have two cows.
They have a pretty important youtube channel.

NOII just won the thread.

[ColonelCossack]

That makes no sense.

It's not supposed to.

Neither do most of the examples in the OP.

[Искра]

Luxemburgism
You believe that you have 2 cows.
But nobody buys that shit.

Hoxhaism
You have two cows.
Actually, you don't.

Titoism
You have two cows.
They read Marxist literature.
You send them on summer trip.

[∞]

Hoxhaism

You have to cows.
They post on the internet about Hoxha, using Hoxha as a legitimate source.

[Искра]

Hoxhaism
You have two cows.
They run away to Yugoslavia.
You blame revisionism.

[Rafiq]

Maoism


You dress up two donkeys in a cow costume

[NewLeft]

Anarcho-communism
You have two cows..
In your fantasy world.

[Roach]

trolololol Hoxhaism makes me have all this nice lulz.:rolleyes:

This actually makes me remember that the stereotype of ''Hoxhaists'' in the 80s and 70s, at least where I live, involved goat-centered zoophilia, since the racist stereotype of Albania itself was ''nothing but mountains and goats''.

[Pirate Utopian]

Hoxhaism

You have 2 cows
You let them join your Hoxhaist party. Membership has doubled.

[Susurrus]

Revleftism:
Out of 29,000 cows there are only two.

[Stork]

Anarcho-capitalsim:
You have two cows, if they didn't want to be beef burgers they wouldn't be cows, our interests are mutual.

[Apoi_Viitor]

Anarcho-capitalsim:
You have two cows, if they didn't want to be beef burgers they wouldn't be cows, our interests are mutual.

Winner! :laugh:

[Os Cangaceiros]

Anarchism:
You have two cows.
Cows sit around smoking weed and drinking 40's all day.

[∞]

Anarcho-capitalsim:
You have two cows, if they didn't want to be beef burgers they wouldn't be cows, our interests are mutual.

I think I just pissed myself.

[Os Cangaceiros]

RAAN:
You have two cows.
They burn the barn to the ground with a flaming bag of cow dung and egg the farmer w/ eggs stolen from the chicken coop.

[∞]

Hoxhaism

You have 2 cows
You let them join your Hoxhaist party. Membership has doubled.

Ok so its your party correct? So if you add 2 and you party doubles. Then you had 2 in the beginning. Who is the other guy?

[Pirate Utopian]

I'm not a Hoxhaist. Thank based god. I wouldnt know.

[Leftsolidarity]

Anarcho-capitalsim:
You have two cows, if they didn't want to be beef burgers they wouldn't be cows, our interests are mutual.

i lol'd