A sex question.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

Maybe its a stupid, unanswerable question, I don't know. Its bugging me though, and google wasn't very helpful.

A girl I'm with now likes rough, dominant sex in which she has her hair pulled, is called a whore, is choked a bit. The question is, why do some women like this? I kinda feel bad when we're doing it, like I'm doing something wrong, but she really likes it and wants it. I kinda like it too but then I don't wanna degrade women.

I don't understand, its not like any woman should tolerate abuse in any other sense, so why do some like this kind of degrading stuff in the bedroom? It baffles my mind, maybe some ladies who like it rough can give me their thoughts, or indeed anyone who has an idea on the topic.

[Obs]

I have been wondering this too actually.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

Can't get my head around it. I would never let someone choke me during sex.

[Broletariat]

Can't get my head around it. I would never let someone choke me during sex.
How vanilla, lol.


But nah, it's just one of those things that adds thrill to the whole experience, it's a sense of danger and shit.

[ZeroNowhere]

Sexual tendencies are generally irrational, so I'm not certain why a coherent explanation would be expected in this case.

[ВАЛТЕР]

Meh, people like different things. No other explanation I can think of. lol

[Искра]

Because to some people pain is pleasure. Same thing goes with chocking or other stuff where someone dominates other. Some people like just when they are submissive... It’s up to them. The only thing which is important is that there’s consensus in relationship regarding certain stuff. Personally, I can’t understand why people love just “in-out-in-out” sex without any role-play. To me this kind of “conservative” sex is boring, because all the fun is in imagination.

[The Douche]

Sexual tendencies are generally irrational, so I'm not certain why a coherent explanation would be expected in this case.

This, why try to rationalize and explain away a mystery of our human-ness?


Some people just want to take all the fun out of life.



But on another note, if it really makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe you should try and talk to her about it, not a message board filled with boys from 13-25.;)

[Искра]

But on another note, if it really makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe you should try and talk to her about it, not a message board filled with boys from 13-25.;)
Also this...

Don't you have some close friends to talk with? :D Personally, I would never post anything serious regarding sex on message board....

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

Because to some people pain is pleasure. Same thing goes with chocking or other stuff where someone dominates other. Some people like just when they are submissive... It’s up to them. The only thing which is important is that there’s consensus in relationship regarding certain stuff. Personally, I can’t understand why people love just “in-out-in-out” sex without any role-play. To me this kind of “conservative” sex is boring, because all the fun is in imagination.
I agree but I just find it confusing that some women like to be degraded to the point where it almost seems as if they want some kind of abusive sex.

I'm not for in-out-in-out sex at all, I love to mix it up a bit, just don't understand why women like to be called whores, get choked, slapped and have their hair pulled etc as in any other context, this is serious abuse. I can't see what makes it desirable in the bedroom. Sure, I'll do it that way if she wants it that way, I aim to please. I just wanna know why that is pleasing!

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

This, why try to rationalize and explain away a mystery of our human-ness?


Some people just want to take all the fun out of life.



But on another note, if it really makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe you should try and talk to her about it, not a message board filled with boys from 13-25.;)
It only makes me feel uncomfortable in the sense that I have known women in abusive relationships that have described this behaviour outside of sex, so it confuses me why to some it is desirable in a sexual context.

Fair enough if it can't be explained, I just have a desire to understand things lol.

[¿Que?]

There are a lot of ways to look at this:

Libertarian: She enjoys what she does, and there's nothing anyone can or should say about it.

Marxist: Sexual practices are part of the cultural milieu and reflect the economic conditions people live in. Depending on her class position, such preferences for abusive sex will mean different things.

Moralist: She needs some sort of treatment, as such preferences are generally unhealthy and potentially harmful to the individual.

Freudian: She is repressing a painful experience which she re-enacts through the sexual act.

[Azraella]

Eh a kink is a kink.

[xub3rn00dlex]

It only makes me feel uncomfortable in the sense that I have known women in abusive relationships that have described this behaviour outside of sex, so it confuses me why to some it is desirable in a sexual context.

Fair enough if it can't be explained, I just have a desire to understand things lol.

Well it could be that she has never experienced it so it adds thrill to her pleasure. Do you have any specific things you like that might seem irrational to other people? I like dominant rough sex, and I like being in charge - but I'm a complete sweetheart in my relationships. I think you might be over thinking things, but if it really bothers you just ask her. I've enjoyed being tied up and taken advantage of before, and it felt great because it was a feeling of not being able to assume the dominant position. If it pleases her, then she's telling you what makes her tick, so just do it. Some partners can be silent about what their preferences are and prefer to remain quiet / let you figure it out on your own. You should be happy she's open about it :)

[Azraella]

. You should be happy she's open about it :)
This. I hate partners that can't be open enough about their personal relationships. Communication is key for any relationship. Even if they aren't hardcore M/s relationships like mine.

[ZeroNowhere]

There are a lot of ways to look at this:

Libertarian: She enjoys what she does, and there's nothing anyone can or should say about it.

Marxist: Sexual practices are part of the cultural milieu and reflect the economic conditions people live in. Depending on her class position, such preferences for abusive sex will mean different things.

Moralist: She needs some sort of treatment, as such preferences are generally unhealthy and potentially harmful to the individual.

Freudian: She is repressing a painful experience which she re-enacts through the sexual act.
God, this is actually how English literature works at university.

[xub3rn00dlex]

This. I hate partners that can't be open enough about their personal relationships. Communication is key for any relationship. Even if they aren't hardcore M/s relationships like mine.

And since we're on the topic of sex, partners who are too shy to explore their own bodies because they don't know how to do it. The whole point of exploration is to figure out what makes you tick, and then use that knowledge to spice things up. OP, here's something you should try if she's open to it. Tie her down, and then go down on her until she climaxes two or three times... if she wants more do it, but from my experiences it becomes really sensitive if you make her climax more than three times within a few minutes of each other. She knows what she likes, use it to your advantage. Try new things.

[Azraella]

Totally. I love trying new things with my slave wonderful husband. :)

[Fawkes]

Trying to determine the origin of this will give you nothing but a headache. And a major boner kill.

I tend to enjoy taking a submissive role when having sex with guys (as opposed to with girls where there tends to be more variation in the roles I adopt), that doesn't mean I enjoy being actually degraded. In other words, they're just fetishes unique to each person. If you're interested in knowing why she likes that, ask her.

[¿Que?]

God, this is actually how English literature works at university.

Did you say you want some more, well here's some more:

Existentialist: Her preference for rough sex is simply how she finds meaning in an otherwise meaningless universe.

Radical Feminist: She has been duped by patriarchy into believing that she really enjoys being dominated.

Sex-Positive Feminism: We are all unique individuals with unique intersectionalities of identity. Only she could understand why she enjoys it or does it.

Nihilism: How can that possibly mean anything, when nothing really means anything.

[Susurrus]

Did you say you want some more, well here's some more:

Existentialist: Her preference for rough sex is simply how she finds meaning in an otherwise meaningless universe.


No, it is how she distracts herself from the knowledge that the universe is meaningless, and attempts to shirk her inherent freedom via bondage to avoid responsibility. :lol:

[ZeroNowhere]

Did you say you want some more, well here's some more:

Existentialist: Her preference for rough sex is simply how she finds meaning in an otherwise meaningless universe.

Radical Feminist: She has been duped by patriarchy into believing that she really enjoys being dominated.

Sex-Positive Feminism: We are all unique individuals with unique intersectionalities of identity. Only she could understand why she enjoys it or does it.

Nihilism: How can that possibly mean anything, when nothing really means anything.
You're good.

[Susurrus]

Nietzchean: She desires to be dominated by the Ubermensch, fantasizing that during sex.

Utilitarian: The act does not cause pain to anyone, and brings her pleasure, thus it is good.

Fascist: Her fantasies are secretly shared by all sparing a few, who shall be the heroic leaders and dominators, and are the proper way to run society.

Archetypal: Her fantasies are a reflection of the collective unconscious.

[Obs]

Nietzchean: She desires to be dominated by the Ubermensch, fantasizing that during sex.

Utilitarian: The act does not cause pain to anyone, and brings her pleasure, thus it is good.

Fascist: Her fantasies are secretly shared by all sparing a few, who shall be the heroic leaders and dominators, and are the proper way to run society.

Archetypal: Her fantasies are a reflection of the collective unconscious.
You're not as good at it.

[ZeroNowhere]

Nietzchean: She desires to be dominated by the Ubermensch, fantasizing that during sex.

Utilitarian: The act does not cause pain to anyone, and brings her pleasure, thus it is good.

Fascist: Her fantasies are secretly shared by all sparing a few, who shall be the heroic leaders and dominators, and are the proper way to run society.

Archetypal: Her fantasies are a reflection of the collective unconscious.
First as comedy, then as farce.

[Susurrus]

STFU my work is brilliance wasted on your feeble minds.

[ZeroNowhere]

If such be your chosen metanarrative.

[¿Que?]

You're good.
Aww shucks. :)

[xub3rn00dlex]

Aww shucks. :)

Yeah I laughed when reading those posts man, very creative. I'm gonna have to thank you in another thread :) Got more?!

[¿Que?]

IDK, I think I'll quit while I'm ahead. I'm thinking Trotsky, permanent revolution and I know that's not going to end good :P

[Dzerzhinsky's Ghost]

Maybe its a stupid, unanswerable question, I don't know. Its bugging me though, and google wasn't very helpful.

A girl I'm with now likes rough, dominant sex in which she has her hair pulled, is called a whore, is choked a bit. The question is, why do some women like this? I kinda feel bad when we're doing it, like I'm doing something wrong, but she really likes it and wants it. I kinda like it too but then I don't wanna degrade women.

I don't understand, its not like any woman should tolerate abuse in any other sense, so why do some like this kind of degrading stuff in the bedroom? It baffles my mind, maybe some ladies who like it rough can give me their thoughts, or indeed anyone who has an idea on the topic.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you mate, one of my girlfriends likes to be choked, slapped, and all that nasty business and at first, I was like, wtf? But I guess it's something you have to ease into, become comfortable with and try to fufill their sexual desires. As for why they like it I have absolutely no idea but the way I have tried to look at is some blokes like to have their nuts smashed by high heels, to be called a pig and pissed on and the like so I assume it's the same general principle. You could try researching Masochism and such if you are that curious and it bothers you that much. Funny thing is though, though she likes that nasty stuff in the bedroom she actually is the most sensitive of the three in all other matters. Idk, shit's weird but whatever makes her happy I guess (within reason). Truly baffling indeed.

[Book O'Dead]

Maybe its a stupid, unanswerable question, I don't know. Its bugging me though, and google wasn't very helpful.

A girl I'm with now likes rough, dominant sex in which she has her hair pulled, is called a whore, is choked a bit. The question is, why do some women like this? I kinda feel bad when we're doing it, like I'm doing something wrong, but she really likes it and wants it. I kinda like it too but then I don't wanna degrade women.

I don't understand, its not like any woman should tolerate abuse in any other sense, so why do some like this kind of degrading stuff in the bedroom? It baffles my mind, maybe some ladies who like it rough can give me their thoughts, or indeed anyone who has an idea on the topic.

Send her to me, I'll choke he for you.

[Nuvem]

Speaking as someone who enjoys choking and being choked, being struck in the face and threatened with sharp objects during sexual activity, I would like to say that this isn't weird at all. And frankly, why they want someone to do it to them isn't important, only that they do.

Allow me to pose this observation: if you refuse to do as your (female) sexual partner requests on the grounds that you find it degrading of women, THAT is actually sexist. To assume that it's degrading to her even though it's something she's requesting is actually belittling her autonomy of will by projecting some sort of helplessness or inferiority upon her.

Now, if you refuse to do it because it makes you seriously uncomfortable for some other reason, that's understandable. If you are sexually very uncomfortable with slinging insults or causing mild physical harm to your partner during sex, that's totally understandable. But avoiding fulfilling your partner's requests because you find them degrading while they do not is belittling of them and their will, particularly when you have no other hold-ups about it, as in your case.

In short, go with it. Go wild. Pull that hair, smack that ass, whatever she wants, because if you don't mind doing it and she really wants it, there's no moral issue here.

[Os Cangaceiros]

First as comedy, then as farce.

:lol:

As far as the topic at hand, this may be the only time I've ever agreed with a WWP member. People who like to be slapped, have their hair pulled, or called names, or tied up (or like to do those things to others) etc. like those things within the controlled environment of a particular sexual act w/ a partner or partners of their choosing. They like to be degraded in these circumstances for the purpose of tittilation. It says absolutely nothing about whether that person wants to be abused or humiliated in their day to day life. Just try not to overthink it.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

I never refuse it, I don't want it to come across that way. She gets it just how she likes it, I just wondered why she liked it that way that's all. A lot of girls do I've found, wonder if its some kind of psychological thing.

I like to dominate too, I kind of feel like I have to pace myself though because I don't wanna go too far. I don't want to accidentally become an abusive male. She would tell me if I was going too far though, I hope.

[Misanthrope]

I'm not Sigmund Freud. Stop complainin' at least you have a girl.