Epiphanies you wish you'd never had

[synthesis]

http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1993/ch930611.gif



Every so often, the thought creeps back into my head that the hands I shake on a regular basis are quite likely the same hands that were recently used to masturbate and thus have traces of their owners' bodily fluids. I now feel more comfortable around my left-handed friends.

Any of you assholes have similar things you'd like to get off your mind? (Pause.)

[Blackscare]

Not to poop on your parade, but I'm left handed and I still whack it with my right hand.


As for epiphanies, a little while ago I was arguing with someone who was, shall we say, a tad right-wing. Now, I'm not one to make statements like this, but after going back and forth for a good while with this guy I realized that I fully expect this historical period to be the precursor of a really terrible civil-war. Not necessarily a revolution, and not necessarily soon (depending on what you mean by soon I suppose) but my guess is within the next decade or two. I say I realized that I fully expect this to happen because, well, the idea has been in the back of my mind for a while now, but previously just as an afterthought. It really clicked with me though that there is a segment of the country (which you can generally, but not completely, conflate with the "tea party") that is diverging so far to the right and becoming so extreme that there'll be no way to avoid it. I could go into every little thing that makes me worry but I'm sure you're all aware of it as much as me. Maybe I'm just neurotic or paranoid, I totally admit that that's likely, but I just don't see reconciliation with this group of people. Their very mode of thought is becoming radically different from even mainstream discourse. I don't really see there being some sort of leftist revolution, but there very well could be a spanish civil war scenario where pretty much everyone who is at least sane has to beat back the vast hordes of insane conspiracy nut teabaggers in an absolutely horrific civil war. Civil wars seem to often be the most barbaric, and I don't think that the second american civil war will be all that different in that regard.


If the economy totally shits the bed, as I expect it to in the next twelve months, I'll consider it an inevitability. I really fear this for a few reasons. The first being that we, the left, won't have that strong of a position, and the second (and most terrifying) are just the implications of such a thing. Depending on the situation in the next year, I'm going to stay here as long as I can and do my duty as a socialist. I'd be a coward if I ran from history's mandate should it come. But I'm not an idiot either, at some point I may just flee if I think things are going south. All depends if I think that there's at all a reasonable expectation of a favorable outcome. I'd lay down my life for the struggle, but not if it's obviously in vane.


Probably a bit random and unnecessarily alarmist, but the thought has been in my head.

[¿Que?]

Eating the food at Occupy Everything. I don't know, I just don't know...

I mean, I like it when the organizer is there keeping things under control, but last night they had a table with assorted stuff but the guy wasn't there, and it'd been sitting around outside for god knows how long, and who the fuck knows who's been touching what, and I swear to god the water tasted funny, like it had been spiked with bergamot.

[ellipsis]

Eating the food at Occupy Everything. I don't know, I just don't know...

I mean, I like it when the organizer is there keeping things under control, but last night they had a table with assorted stuff but the guy wasn't there, and it'd been sitting around outside for god knows how long, and who the fuck knows who's been touching what, and I swear to god the water tasted funny, like it had been spiked with bergamot.

wow must be hard being so uptight and germaphobic.

[¿Que?]

wow must be hard being so uptight and germaphobic.
Uptight, yes. Germaphobic, no. I ate a very nice PB sandwich despite my concerns. But the water did taste funny, and that's the truth.

[Blackscare]

wow must be hard being so uptight and germaphobic.

Easy for you to say, it's always you anarchos rubbing your balls on the cupcakes in the first place.

[CommunityBeliever]

Who jerks with strictly one hand? You should get both hands into it / switch it up.

If you care so much about shaking hands you could always just bow like an Easterner.

[piet11111]

That my chances of keeping my job decrease by the day.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

That one day I was going to die.

[Thirsty Crow]

Two of such moments had to do with my personal attitude to violence.
Long story short, this terribly unpleasant epiphany concerns my horrible anxiety in situations which might result in immediate violence (one of those had to do with young skinheads; the other with a rather corpulent and muscular security guy at a concert). The thought of "gotta get out of here" reapeated itself with painful gradation in intensity, only followed by "how could I talk this shit into the right direction".
So yeah, I have a problem with that. Would like to change it, of course.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Two of such moments had to do with my personal attitude to violence.
Long story short, this terribly unpleasant epiphany concerns my horrible anxiety in situations which might result in immediate violence (one of those had to do with young skinheads; the other with a rather corpulent and muscular security guy at a concert). The thought of "gotta get out of here" reapeated itself with painful gradation in intensity, only followed by "how could I talk this shit into the right direction".
So yeah, I have a problem with that. Would like to change it, of course.
Have you ever gotten in a fight before?

[Искра]

one of those had to do with young skinheads
I hope it wasn't me :D

[Thirsty Crow]

I hope it wasn't me :D
I'm pretty sure you wouldn't wear a patch with a celtic cross, y'know (though, I hear anarcho-syndicalists tend to be nationalists as well in Croatia :laugh::D).


Have you ever gotten in a fight before?
Only once before that situations, but it wasn't that serious and I was more than hammered. But without the influence, it seems that I have a problem with it.

[Sasha]

Every so often, the thought creeps back into my head that the hands I shake on a regular basis are quite likely the same hands that were recently used to masturbate and thus have traces of their owners' bodily fluids. I now feel more comfortable around my left-handed friends.

Any of you assholes have similar things you'd like to get off your mind? (Pause.)


http://chzallnighter.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/party-fails-just-so-you-know-bartender-bathroom-sign.jpg

[Public Domain]

I wish I never opened my eyes and became an atheist and a communist.

Because I'm sure I'd be less upset and thus be able to do the same merry bullshit everyone else seems to be able to do without a blink of the eye.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Only once before that situations, but it wasn't that serious and I was more than hammered. But without the influence, it seems that I have a problem with it.
Get in more fights. Although the butterflys and anxiety won't go away, they never will, trust me. At least if you're not the one starting the fight. But it had less control over me the more fights I got into.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Good luck with fighting nazis in E.Europe.;)
Indeed! Good luck comrades in fighting the Nazi scum in E. Europe, no joke.

[Susurrus]

That I'm head over heels in love with her.

[hatzel]

Yawn at all that...I don't know if deciding to read this thread would really count as an epiphany, but if so...yeah, that...

EDIT: now that all that has been deleted, I look like I'm having a go at somebody else. I'm not. You a'ight.

[Thirsty Crow]

And I don't usually attack people without a reason. Actually I'm a quite nice guy. Even I love that feeling before the fight and I love that felling when I get beaten... Pain is glory.
In fact, I can't say that I know that feeling right after being beaten :D I might be "lucky" or something (or just hanging around a certain type of people, I dunno), but I can't remember any other situation, in which I was involved, that might have easily resulted in violence other than these two. Maybe it was the lack of experience that got the best of me :D (funny thing is that I also can't remember another time I stumbled across a group of nazis, even though I do tend to hang around some of the places where they might show up; though other people are also under the impression that these fuckwits don't stroll the streets in numbers they used to, especially in the 90s).

[ComradeGrant]

That Lenin was actually sort of an asshole and that Stalin wasn't the only bad guy.
Also that one day I will go bald.

[Искра]

In fact, I can't say that I know that feeling right after being beaten :D I might be "lucky" or something (or just hanging around a certain type of people, I dunno), but I can't remember any other situation, in which I was involved, that might have easily resulted in violence other than these two. Maybe it was the lack of experience that got the best of me :D (funny thing is that I also can't remember another time I stumbled across a group of nazis, even though I do tend to hang around some of the places where they might show up; though other people are also under the impression that these fuckwits don't stroll the streets in numbers they used to, especially in the 90s).
I was betten up by 13 guys from Bad Blue Boys firm. My face was like a big ballon :) They jumped me and 2 friends out from the bushes after one anti-fa gig.

But, regarding Zagreb (and Croatia in general) there are no militant boneaheads. Most of them today are just into that for fashion and "looking bad".

Avoiding places where they might show up is silly. My older skinhead friend once said that he'll put his boots down the day that nazis made him a stranger in his town. Stranger who fears to walk trough his town. That was because of some crap in Warsawa on one anti-fa skinhead gig where he was.

Serbia is other story trough...

[Blackscare]

Here's a warning to tir1944 for thread derailment and blatant flamebaiting. Also, to everyone else, continue to respond to his (disruptive) posts in this thread and you will get a warning as well. Do it again and it's an infraction for you, tir.

[xub3rn00dlex]

I wish I never opened my eyes and became an atheist and a communist.

Because I'm sure I'd be less upset and thus be able to do the same merry bullshit everyone else seems to be able to do without a blink of the eye.

It's not the atheism so much that bothers me, since I was atheist a long time before I was a commie. I think I picked the worst possible time to "open up." I'm in college and feel like I'm getting no fucking place what so ever, and dropping out is ever so tempting... I'd have to finish at least a construction management course because I would definitely have a well off job in my current firm if I did. I find myself wondering what I'm worth, and why I couldn't just be some happy fucking liberal asshat prancing around like nothing is wrong.

[o well this is ok I guess]

"I have no idea where the fuck I am"

[Aloysius]

The moment I realized that decisions I make during the next few years (namely: high school) may determine the rest of my life.
That's fucking scary.

And also that, eventually, I'll have to take responsibility for my actions and deal with the consequences myself.


Believe it or not, both of those came while I was playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

[ClearlyChrist]

On A Camping Trip With Our Girlfriends, Or Should I Say, Mine, And A Former Girlfriend Of A Close Friend I Had Been Smoking Cigarettes That Were Rolled By That Same Friend All Night. Little Did I Know, That His Hands Had.. Been Places During The Day. Nothing Like A Fishy Taste On A Cigarette, Right? Managed To Get Him Back When Morning Came And He Finished One Of My Cigarettes, Which Had Been Tainted Too, If You Catch My Drift ;)