Pour Your Heart Out VII

[praxis1966]

Just so everybody knows where we were in the last one:


oh god I feel you man

Ironically the other day I was checking Revleft in a computer lab on campus - and the girl across the desk from me kept glancing at me. Not sure if she was looking at my scar* or what (or checking me out, I have noooo idea wtf). Probably would have helped if I wasn't pulling a neutral expression all the time. :glare:

*used to fight a lot when I was younger (small rural school so we got away with it). caught a sharp stick to my left cheek - hence scar.


Pretty much what I dealt with in my first semester. Have you tried talking to people after class?


Perhaps she was gawking at the fact you were looking at a radical leftist forum.

[Salyut]

That Annoying Commie[/B] http://www.revleft.com/vb/revleft/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.revleft.com/vb/showthread.php?p=2230022#post2230022)] Perhaps she was gawking at the fact you were looking at a radical leftist forum.

Nah. I keep that (and Mibbit) minimized or in a real small window. Had she been able to see the screen, it would have been me comparing the payloads of the V-bomber force.

[Landsharks eat metal]

Update: I got an 80% on the first paper I had to do for my evil professor. That's pretty good considering half the class got a 0 because of having two or more mistakes. He just sprung another one of those on us, though. Now we have to use two articles from New York Times.

[Smyg]

Today I became a published author. And it sucks.

The municipality had an anthology project, and I sent in a small novella. It was published, and the book turned out really neat. However, I can't help but consider my contribution absolutely awful. Damn you, crippingly self-doubt, damn you.

[#FF0000]

Today I became a published author. And it sucks.

The municipality had an anthology project, and I sent in a small novella. It was published, and the book turned out really neat. However, I can't help but consider my contribution absolutely awful. Damn you, crippingly self-doubt, damn you.

Every time you feel self doubt, ignore it and instead just act like you are the coolest motherfucker on the planet and that your novella is a gift to mankind and that all of these peons are lucky for having the opportunity to lay eyes upon it

[Susurrus]

Be objective, rather than listening to the little irrational voice that tells you that you suck(biggest hypocrite moment here). To get independent confirmation, ask someone else or post it here.

[Salyut]

I went to the anarchist bookfair. Hopefully I'll be able to catch the Antifa people tommorow - but I did run into the IWW. They were looking for a local member...so err...yeah...

Technically I'm not supposed to with the whole Impossibilist thing butttttt...

[Leftsolidarity]

Saw a dead body for the first time last night. Sorta keep thinking about it:(

[Le Socialiste]

Update: I got an 80% on the first paper I had to do for my evil professor. That's pretty good considering half the class got a 0 because of having two or more mistakes. He just sprung another one of those on us, though. Now we have to use two articles from New York Times.

Great job! What's the class?


Today I became a published author. And it sucks.

The municipality had an anthology project, and I sent in a small novella. It was published, and the book turned out really neat. However, I can't help but consider my contribution absolutely awful. Damn you, crippingly self-doubt, damn you.

That's really cool, regardless of how you feel you did. I've yet to have my work published, but I can understand that gnawing, self-deprecating feeling. You know what? It's out there now. And there will be people who read it and like it, and others who won't. It isn't within your control. The important thing is that you're satisfied with the end product.


Saw a dead body for the first time last night. Sorta keep thinking about it:(

Was it just something you stumbled upon? I'm sorry you had to see that, it's a disconcerting feeling no matter how many times you come upon it.

[Smyg]

Saw a dead body for the first time last night. Sorta keep thinking about it:(

Yeah, it sucks. So badly. I've admitedly only seen "complete" dead bodies during funerals, which isn't quite the same, but I can tell you - finding pieces of bodies really, really, really isn't a fun thing to do.

[Landsharks eat metal]

Great job! What's the class?

It's Intro to International Politics. Fun and scary at the same time.

[Leftsolidarity]

Was it just something you stumbled upon? I'm sorry you had to see that, it's a disconcerting feeling no matter how many times you come upon it.

Yeah, me and my buddies were driving home at 2am and right after we started driving we take the curve of the road and come up to this intersection. At the intersection on one side was a wrecked SUV sideways to the road (it must have wrecked within a minute or 2 because no police or anything were there yet). As we slowly drive past, cuz there was rubble in the road from brick they must have hit, we see a few people standing around looking shocked and as we get closer I see a dead guy hanging half-way out the back door.

Definitely not a great way to start a 2 hour drive in the dead of night. I also keep thinking about how shitty it must be for those people.

[Salyut]

So I've got a IWW card in my wallet now.

We seem to have a fairly active branch that does solidarity actions and stuff. Plus information booklet things on workers rights in BC and workers comp. stuff. Apparently a bunch of law students want to do stuff with the local as well.

[Salyut]

Update: I got an 80% on the first paper I had to do for my evil professor. That's pretty good considering half the class got a 0 because of having two or more mistakes. He just sprung another one of those on us, though. Now we have to use two articles from New York Times.

Good god. He sounds like how I would be as a prof.

I've had two profs quietly give me the low down on the papers they have to mark. One was correcting stuff with his five year daughter - who was picking out mistakes on her own. I was talking to the other prof after class, and he's all "did you cite your paper"? Henceforth I learned that many papers he got only cited blockquotes. He was blaming himself for not stating citation stuff in the class outline, and I was all "...uh sir this isn't your fault."

These are second to third year classes.

I cite to the point where I will exheed the page limit on a paper because of all the footnoting. :lol:

[Welshy]

So I've moved into my first apartment this past week and started classes. My classes are pretty good so I have nothing to really complain about there, but two of my roommates owe me money for food and one those two also owes me a large sum of money because his check for the first months rent didn't in on time so I had to spot him the cash because they wouldn't let us move in until it was all paid for. And neither of them have really made an effort to repay me and just sit around playing video games all day long. And my other roommate has turned out to be a control freak who got angry after me and the other two went to the store to get groceries with out him knowing despite the fact that he was at work and we had no food in the apartment and needed to eat.

Besides that I feel like my body is starting to deteriorate too early. I can't really eat most foods because of various gastrointestinal issues, I have arthritic pain in my arm, hand, leg and foot joints, and my hearing and eye sight are getting worse and I'm not even 20 yet.

[Leftsolidarity]

So I've moved into my first apartment this past week and started classes. My classes are pretty good so I have nothing to really complain about there, but two of my roommates owe me money for food and one those two also owes me a large sum of money because his check for the first months rent didn't in on time so I had to spot him the cash because they wouldn't let us move in until it was all paid for. And neither of them have really made an effort to repay me and just sit around playing video games all day long. And my other roommate has turned out to be a control freak who got angry after me and the other two went to the store to get groceries with out him knowing despite the fact that he was at work and we had no food in the apartment and needed to eat.

Besides that I feel like my body is starting to deteriorate too early. I can't really eat most foods because of various gastrointestinal issues, I have arthritic pain in my arm, hand, leg and foot joints, and my hearing and eye sight are getting worse and I'm not even 20 yet.

Don't let them take advantage of you. Make it clear to them that they need to get their shit paid for fast or that they need to get the fuck out or something.

[Le Socialiste]

^ This.

[Le Socialiste]

Yeah, me and my buddies were driving home at 2am and right after we started driving we take the curve of the road and come up to this intersection. At the intersection on one side was a wrecked SUV sideways to the road (it must have wrecked within a minute or 2 because no police or anything were there yet). As we slowly drive past, cuz there was rubble in the road from brick they must have hit, we see a few people standing around looking shocked and as we get closer I see a dead guy hanging half-way out the back door.

Definitely not a great way to start a 2 hour drive in the dead of night. I also keep thinking about how shitty it must be for those people.

Damn, that sucks. I'm sorry man. :(

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Has anybody else felt when they were dating someone else that you were, compared to them, a complete lowlife? My girlfriend has accepted me for who I am but still I get this weird feeling when I compare each other. She's never had sex, she's never done any drugs, she's never even gotten drunk(Although she really wants to so that will be fun I hope), she has a car, she has a nice family, she never got in trouble at school when we went, she is just really cool with everybody, and the list goes on. And here I am: Not a virgin, have done multiple drugs but now only smoke pot once in a while, get drunk at LEAST twice a month now, have no car, come from a broken family, have gotten expelled from school, have been arrested(and not for activism stuff), and I know a few people who literally want me dead and sometimes think they just might.

So I get this self-conscious feeling like my past just fucks me over and over again when it comes to meeting nice people for some reason. Like when Bruce Springsteen said in Born in the USA "end up like a dog that's been beat too much, till you spend half your life just to cover it up". I don't know, it just makes me feel like shit but it's not like I can change most of that and I really don't know why I feel like this. :confused:

[WeAreReborn]

Has anybody else felt when they were dating someone else that you were, compared to them, a complete lowlife? My girlfriend has accepted me for who I am but still I get this weird feeling when I compare each other. She's never had sex, she's never done any drugs, she's never even gotten drunk(Although she really wants to so that will be fun I hope), she has a car, she has a nice family, she never got in trouble at school when we went, she is just really cool with everybody, and the list goes on. And here I am: Not a virgin, have done multiple drugs but now only smoke pot once in a while, get drunk at LEAST twice a month now, have no car, come from a broken family, have gotten expelled from school, have been arrested(and not for activism stuff), and I know a few people who literally want me dead and sometimes think they just might.

So I get this self-conscious feeling like my past just fucks me over and over again when it comes to meeting nice people for some reason. Like when Bruce Springsteen said in Born in the USA "end up like a dog that's been beat too much, till you spend half your life just to cover it up". I don't know, it just makes me feel like shit but it's not like I can change most of that and I really don't know why I feel like this. :confused:
Don't compare your pasts or financial stability. It doesn't mean shit. She clearly sees you are a good guy and likes you for that. You should follow her lead.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Don't compare your pasts or financial stability. It doesn't mean shit. She clearly sees you are a good guy and likes you for that. You should follow her lead.
It's not only my past and the economic situation I'm in right now, like even right now when I'm doing nothing compared to what I used to do like when I smoke pot every once in a while or something I feel bad just doing it for some reason. And it's not even like she discourages it, but for some reason when I do do something like smoke pot I just feel like I shouldn't be doing it or when I get drunk, it makes me feel like I'm doing something bad and that I'm a loser for doing it.

For example just the other day I was telling her about how I had to run over to my uncle's house and kick a bunch of kids out and clean up the place afterwards because they were smoking weed in there because my cousin let a few people over while my uncle was gone and they wouldn't leave. I thought it was actually a good deed what I did, helped kick out a bunch of people who my cousin couldn't get out of his house and then helped clean the place up before my uncle got home. But while I'm telling her about this I just suddenly got this feeling like I took part in some horrible deed because we had to cover everything up and lie to my uncle. I would have never thought of it like that before!

[WeAreReborn]

It's not only my past and the economic situation I'm in right now, like even right now when I'm doing nothing compared to what I used to do like when I smoke pot every once in a while or something I feel bad just doing it for some reason. And it's not even like she discourages it, but for some reason when I do do something like smoke pot I just feel like I shouldn't be doing it or when I get drunk, it makes me feel like I'm doing something bad and that I'm a loser for doing it.

For example just the other day I was telling her about how I had to run over to my uncle's house and kick a bunch of kids out and clean up the place afterwards because they were smoking weed in there because my cousin let a few people over while my uncle was gone and they wouldn't leave. I thought it was actually a good deed what I did, helped kick out a bunch of people who my cousin couldn't get out of his house and then helped clean the place up before my uncle got home. But while I'm telling her about this I just suddenly got this feeling like I took part in some horrible deed because we had to cover everything up and lie to my uncle. I would have never thought of it like that before!
Well it seems like you just personally disagree with your actions. The only things you really can do is one realize that you aren't necessarily a loser or doing something bad when you use alcohol/drugs. You can do that or simply slow down and moderate, and if that doesn't work simply quit. Because like you pointed out she is fine with your usage. So it is more of you thinking that you should be the best you can be for her and you feel that quitting doing drugs/drinking is the best way to achieve that.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Coincidentally the last person I smoked with was her little brother lol, he better not tell! But your right Reborn, I'll probably end up only doing it moderately and with her. I just hate that feeling of guilt so much, why must I have a conscience!

[Le Socialiste]

So, I'm transferring to a university beginning next year (I was accepted for spring semester), and I need to fill and send out my housing application by the 1st of October. I have no idea what I prefer (although one of the housing options looks pretty cool), but I know I must go for the cheapest option available, which is a triple. Now I'm fine with that, but the reality is I'm freaking out. I'll finally be moving out of my parent's house for the first time in my life, which is terrifying - albeit exciting. I've been experiencing feelings ranging from utter excitement to downright horror. I guess that's to be expected, though. Another thing that's been gnawing at me is what my housing situation will be like when I start school. Will I like my roommates? Will I be able to adapt to this new environment? The list goes on. And this doubt only gets worse and worse with every bit of progress I make on this application! :(

[praxis1966]

I just hate that feeling of guilt so much, why must I have a conscience!

Because you're a decent human being...? So what do I win for getting that one right? lol


So, I'm transferring to a university beginning next year (I was accepted for spring semester), and I need to fill and send out my housing application by the 1st of October. I have no idea what I prefer (although one of the housing options looks pretty cool), but I know I must go for the cheapest option available, which is a triple. Now I'm fine with that, but the reality is I'm freaking out. I'll finally be moving out of my parent's house for the first time in my life, which is terrifying - albeit exciting. I've been experiencing feelings ranging from utter excitement to downright horror. I guess that's to be expected, though. Another thing that's been gnawing at me is what my housing situation will be like when I start school. Will I like my roommates? Will I be able to adapt to this new environment? The list goes on. And this doubt only gets worse and worse with every bit of progress I make on this application! :(

Dude, what you're experiencing is totally normal. I think everybody going off to college has a whole plethora of mixed emotions about the experience if they're half conscious. I don't know if this will make you feel any better but frankly, I'm a little jealous. I went to a CC out of high school so I didn't get to experience any of what you're talking about. Count yourself lucky that you're going to be meeting a whole new batch of people with varying life experiences and diverse backgrounds, and that you'll be in an intellectually stimulating environment while doing it... That and there's a fair to middling chance that unlike your high school friends, the people you meet in college are likely to be the kind of friends you'll keep the rest of your life. Happy face, mofo, this is a good thing!

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Because you're a decent human being...? So what do I win for getting that one right? lol

The greatest thing a person could give another person on Revleft that actually means something. *Thanks post*

:thumbup:

[Decolonize The Left]

So, I'm transferring to a university beginning next year (I was accepted for spring semester), and I need to fill and send out my housing application by the 1st of October. I have no idea what I prefer (although one of the housing options looks pretty cool), but I know I must go for the cheapest option available, which is a triple. Now I'm fine with that, but the reality is I'm freaking out. I'll finally be moving out of my parent's house for the first time in my life, which is terrifying - albeit exciting. I've been experiencing feelings ranging from utter excitement to downright horror. I guess that's to be expected, though. Another thing that's been gnawing at me is what my housing situation will be like when I start school. Will I like my roommates? Will I be able to adapt to this new environment? The list goes on. And this doubt only gets worse and worse with every bit of progress I make on this application! :(

You should weigh the cost factor vs. comfort factor. In terms of college rooms, the key factor is not how many people there are in a room, but rather, where the bathroom is. Ideally you'd like to have a quad (two doubles which share one bathroom) or a suite (a group of rooms with ~7 people in them, with one common room and one shared bathroom). What you do not want is to have to use the common bathroom for the entire hall (maybe even 2 halls sometimes).

It is far worth the money to not have to hike down the fucking hall at night to take a piss, stepping over shit and passed out motherfuckers and puke and what not. Furthermore, the shower situation can be very difficult in the common bathroom, whereas with a shared bathroom you just hash the shit out with your roommates/suitemates and it's all good.

Just some two cents.

- August

[Smyg]

So, I'm transferring to a university beginning next year (I was accepted for spring semester), and I need to fill and send out my housing application by the 1st of October. I have no idea what I prefer (although one of the housing options looks pretty cool), but I know I must go for the cheapest option available, which is a triple. Now I'm fine with that, but the reality is I'm freaking out. I'll finally be moving out of my parent's house for the first time in my life, which is terrifying - albeit exciting. I've been experiencing feelings ranging from utter excitement to downright horror. I guess that's to be expected, though. Another thing that's been gnawing at me is what my housing situation will be like when I start school. Will I like my roommates? Will I be able to adapt to this new environment? The list goes on. And this doubt only gets worse and worse with every bit of progress I make on this application! :(

Yeah man, I understand completely. I know everything about anxiety about new social situations and life changes... don't have much advice, but from personal experience I think I can safely say that no matter how bad it gets with things like this, it'll feel better eventually. My sympathies. :ohmy:

[Salyut]

The bro-types may have dropped out of the WS course. :( Which isn't a bad thing because the class is really awesome, and not intimidating like I'd thought it'd be. Actually of all my classes; it comes off as the most laid back environment.

Also the prof is apparently an anarchist judging by the material on her office door. She's real nice too - I've had some great discussions with her. I gather male students who've read/have an interest in the subject don't stop by her office post-class very often. The discussion group facilitation is going to be real interesting as an assignment. :D

Also Students for a Democratic Society, or at least something calling themselves that, has popped up on campus. I'm assuming these are reformist liberals right? The only real radical groups are the feminist ones and I'm pretty sure I can't get involved in those... Although I did get a PM from a (Canadian, not comrade bob's org) RCP member about a maoist student formation they're trying to set up. That'd be fun...except I feel I might be the only hard-left person among the student body. Also I missed the Victoria Antifa at the bookfair - which is a shame because militant anti fascism fuck yeah. Should I just shoot them an email? I don't really know how these groups organize and get members - I suspect it might be peer to peer due to security and such.

[Leftsolidarity]

I had to sit through probably the most aggravating piece of shit capitalist propaganda video today in Economics. The whole thing was that greed is good and we need to be as greedy as possible. They also talked about how the rich (examples were people like the Rockefellers) aren't bad people but actually great people who gave so much to us that they deserve everything they have and we should be thanking them.

I held my tongue, even though I'm usually always in and starting discussions about this stuff, because I am trying to be chill with this teacher. I will debate and refute this kind of bullshit though. The funny thing is is that my teacher really wants to hear what I have to say about it and everything else apparently. I've heard that he talks about me in every one of his classes (i stick out being the only kid with dreads, studded jackets, and hammer&sickle shirts) saying that he is trying to get the nerve to talk to me and get me to talk in class. He hasn't yet because he said he is afraid. He says he is honestly afraid of me hahahahaha I don't even do anything in that class. I sit in the back (my assigned seat), stay focused, and be quiet (things that I've never done in classes before haha).

I think Friday was the only time I said something in class and that was when we were talking about the Wealth of Nations. He talked it up all big then I said, "Is it true that it was purposed as a Utopian society?" He looked shocked and said, "Ummmmm......yes, that is actually true.......Where did you hear that?" Then I told him that I heard it from Noam Chomsky and he had never even heard of him before. For the last 20 minutes of class he sat at his computer researching and reading about Noam Chomsky.

[Salyut]

I had to sit through probably the most aggravating piece of shit capitalist propaganda video today in Economics. The whole thing was that greed is good and we need to be as greedy as possible. They also talked about how the rich (examples were people like the Rockefellers) aren't bad people but actually great people who gave so much to us that they deserve everything they have and we should be thanking them.

I held my tongue, even though I'm usually always in and starting discussions about this stuff, because I am trying to be chill with this teacher. I will debate and refute this kind of bullshit though. The funny thing is is that my teacher really wants to hear what I have to say about it and everything else apparently. I've heard that he talks about me in every one of his classes (i stick out being the only kid with dreads, studded jackets, and hammer&sickle shirts) saying that he is trying to get the nerve to talk to me and get me to talk in class. He hasn't yet because he said he is afraid. He says he is honestly afraid of me hahahahaha I don't even do anything in that class. I sit in the back (my assigned seat), stay focused, and be quiet (things that I've never done in classes before haha).

I think Friday was the only time I said something in class and that was when we were talking about the Wealth of Nations. He talked it up all big then I said, "Is it true that it was purposed as a Utopian society?" He looked shocked and said, "Ummmmm......yes, that is actually true.......Where did you hear that?" Then I told him that I heard it from Noam Chomsky and he had never even heard of him before. For the last 20 minutes of class he sat at his computer researching and reading about Noam Chomsky.

You are waaaay braver then I am. I just talked to my prof post-class about some stats Jackson Katz used in his video, and my fears that if I used stuff from my past in a discussion - people would freak out and the 'safe space' thing would be disrupted. Luckily that seems to be just me freaking myself out.

[Catmatic Leftist]

Reading the replies on this site makes me feel like a fucking idiot. I apparently scored 170 something on an IQ test when I was young yet I still feel like I don't understand half of the shit on this site.

[Die Rote Fahne]

Random bouts of sadness + suicidal thoughts are lame. Inb4 seek help. I'm not gonna do anything. Besides these bouts, life is decent.

[maskerade]

Pretty sure it's over between me and my girlfriend. I'll either conquer the world and ban all the things that she likes or collapse into a sunken, former shell of my past self. Fuck the world and fuck everything, life is shit.

[Leftsolidarity]

Pretty sure it's over between me and my girlfriend. I'll either conquer the world and ban all the things that she likes or collapse into a sunken, former shell of my past self. Fuck the world and fuck everything, life is shit.

Sorry to hear that, going/just went through a bad break up myself. You can pm me if you ever need to vent or anything.

[Le Socialiste]

You should weigh the cost factor vs. comfort factor. In terms of college rooms, the key factor is not how many people there are in a room, but rather, where the bathroom is. Ideally you'd like to have a quad (two doubles which share one bathroom) or a suite (a group of rooms with ~7 people in them, with one common room and one shared bathroom). What you do not want is to have to use the common bathroom for the entire hall (maybe even 2 halls sometimes).

It is far worth the money to not have to hike down the fucking hall at night to take a piss, stepping over shit and passed out motherfuckers and puke and what not. Furthermore, the shower situation can be very difficult in the common bathroom, whereas with a shared bathroom you just hash the shit out with your roommates/suitemates and it's all good.

Just some two cents.

- August

I realize that comfort is key, but I'm low on money as it is. I'm basically relying on FAFSA and whatever costs the school says it will cover (and what little I made working over the past year). I'd like a quad or a suite, but they range around $17-20,000. Granted, it doesn't say how much it costs for one semester ( it only covers the costs for the full academic year), so maybe I could swing it. We'll see.

[Salyut]

I go off to find some collared shirts...and its like $309 dollars for two fucking costco quality shirts. Generic looking ones. Dear god.

Also people in this town apparently pay $220 dollars for a "work shirt". I'm not sure if folks are stupid and/or insane, or if this is some kind of ironic hipster thing. What the fuck.

[Decolonize The Left]

I go off to find some collared shirts...and its like $309 dollars for two fucking costco quality shirts. Generic looking ones. Dear god.

Also people in this town apparently pay $220 dollars for a "work shirt". I'm not sure if folks are stupid and/or insane, or if this is some kind of ironic hipster thing. What the fuck.

Dude where are you shopping? Go to Ross or Salvation Army and get some shirts for ~10 bucks. Also, you can get good quality 'work shirts' from Dickies for about $20-30 out the door at most work clothes places.

- August

[Decolonize The Left]

I realize that comfort is key, but I'm low on money as it is. I'm basically relying on FAFSA and whatever costs the school says it will cover (and what little I made working over the past year). I'd like a quad or a suite, but they range around $17-20,000. Granted, it doesn't say how much it costs for one semester ( it only covers the costs for the full academic year), so maybe I could swing it. We'll see.

So you're saying it's 17-20K a year for room/board in a suite/quad? How much is it for a standard triple where you have to use the hallway bathroom? And also, how hard have you looked into scholarships/grants from organizations outside of the school itself?

- August

[Le Socialiste]

So you're saying it's 17-20K a year for room/board in a suite/quad? How much is it for a standard triple where you have to use the hallway bathroom? And also, how hard have you looked into scholarships/grants from organizations outside of the school itself?

- August

A triple is about $11,000 (again, this is just for the entire year). As for scholarships - I've got nothing. I applied for as many as I could, and not a one has selected me. So it's basically FAFSA, the school, my savings, and what little my parents have saved up over the years (they revealed this a couple of nights ago - kind of wishing they'd told me sooner).

[Decolonize The Left]

A triple is about $11,000 (again, this is just for the entire year). As for scholarships - I've got nothing. I applied for as many as I could, and not a one has selected me. So it's basically FAFSA, the school, my savings, and what little my parents have saved up over the years (they revealed this a couple of nights ago - kind of wishing they'd told me sooner).

Well 5K is a large sum of money, so I guess you gotta go the cheap route and just deal with it as best you can. Are you going to attend a private or public university? If private, you might consider contacting the admissions office and basically begging for more money. They might toss you some loans or grants if you beg hard enough.

- August

[Salyut]

Dude where are you shopping? Go to Ross or Salvation Army and get some shirts for ~10 bucks. Also, you can get good quality 'work shirts' from Dickies for about $20-30 out the door at most work clothes places.

- August

Yeah, we don't have Dickies up here. :( This town seems geared towards the high-end boutique shit and it seems I'm not the only student having issues finding a place to shop. I'm hitting up a thrift store tomorrow so...yeah...

I've dropped ~80 pounds since my last major clothes buying spree, and my shirts are like parachutes. :laugh: Granted, I did go hat shopping and apparently I look adorable with what I ended up with. :cool:

[Decolonize The Left]

Yeah, we don't have Dickies up here. :( This town seems geared towards the high-end boutique shit and it seems I'm not the only student having issues finding a place to shop. I'm hitting up a thrift store tomorrow so...yeah...

I've dropped ~80 pounds since my last major clothes buying spree, and my shirts are like parachutes. :laugh: Granted, I did go hat shopping and apparently I look adorable with what I ended up with. :cool:

Dickies website (http://www.dickies.com/product/product_listing.jsp?clearShopBys=true&FOLDER%3A%3Afolder_id=2534374302024405) - shirts are ~$20
Work shirts (http://www.bestbuyuniforms.com/listing.asp?cid=70) - $10+
More work shirts (http://www.automotiveworkwear.com/Merchant2/shirts.html) - $10+

Lemme know how your thrift store run went. But seriously, buy this shit online because you don't need to spend more than 20 bucks for a fine quality shirt to wear to work.

- August

[Aloysius]

Being smitten sucks donkey ass.

[black_tar_heroin]

Being in love makes life worth living.

LDO.

[thesadmafioso]

I was in a lab a few days ago when a pleasant enough women asked me what my Explosions in the Sky shirt said, to which I gave a rather generic recitation of the bands name.

After that she just sort of said "That's what I thought" and the conversation faltered to an uneventful conclusion from there. I almost feel like I could of extended things beyond that a bit more than I did though, but she was sort of getting ready to leave the lab as she asked that so I wasn't quite sure what the proper response would be. Plus, being a history major, I was really sapped of any confidence in that environment, it being my only science course and with about three quarters of the class being bio majors.

Now that I actually think about it, the amount of analysis I just put into that is actually a bit more depressing than my failure to pursue additional conversation.

Oh, and I've had rather poor results canvassing people at my campus in an attempt to get a leftist student organization together, which has been rather dispiriting as well. But that's probably a matter more suited to practice and propaganda, I would imagine.

[bietan jarrai]

Being in love makes life worth living.

LDO.

tell me about it.... life used to be worth living 2 months ago...

[Obs]

Apparently betraying your friends isn't a big deal these days.

[Ele'ill]

I live with manic depression. It's like trying to live life from a spaceship that fluctuates between crashing through atmosphere and skimming above land at ten thousand miles per hour to diving into oceans and eventually moving slower and deeper into darkness.

[Die Rote Fahne]

I'm the father of a healthy newborn baby boy and I'm soooooo fucking happy...it's not the ideal time to have a kid, but that's fine. I love the little guy... I've been so stressed with everything and it seems to have just gotten easier now that he's here. Still have the financial issues with school, but I'm trying...that's a big concern right now...I just need to finish and get work...

[thriller]

So my girlfriend who I lived with for 4 years got on a bus and left today. We talked about it for weeks now. Still feel like if I made a better situation for us she would've stayed. I feel... like I'm in 9th grade again. Fuck this. I'll get over it tho.

[¿Que?]

I was in a lab a few days ago when a pleasant enough women asked me what my Explosions in the Sky shirt said, to which I gave a rather generic recitation of the bands name.

After that she just sort of said "That's what I thought" and the conversation faltered to an uneventful conclusion from there. I almost feel like I could of extended things beyond that a bit more than I did though, but she was sort of getting ready to leave the lab as she asked that so I wasn't quite sure what the proper response would be. Plus, being a history major, I was really sapped of any confidence in that environment, it being my only science course and with about three quarters of the class being bio majors.

Now that I actually think about it, the amount of analysis I just put into that is actually a bit more depressing than my failure to pursue additional conversation.

Oh, and I've had rather poor results canvassing people at my campus in an attempt to get a leftist student organization together, which has been rather dispiriting as well. But that's probably a matter more suited to practice and propaganda, I would imagine.
Hey man, I feel ya. I think you hit the nail on the head with the second paragraph.

[Dumb]

I'm a fucking piece of shit clinging to the leg of a fly. Fucking damn it. Somebody just put a fucking muzzle on me.

[Die Rote Fahne]

My girlfriend's mother is a huge fucking asshole. Really pissed at the immaturity of this particular 50+ year old.

[Catmatic Leftist]

Got a 100% on my Calculus/Statistics test where I had to cram 3 weeks of material into one day.

Today is a great day.

[Lobotomy]

Just moved into a new apartment recently and I already don't like my roommates. they just sit in their rooms and avoid each other all the time. Any time we have to talk about apartment stuff (like what to buy for the kitchen etc) I have had to initiate the conversation and they keep their replies at a minimum before going back to their rooms. I'm pretty introverted too but at least I make an effort. I don't expect us to be best friends or anything but they could at least talk to me a little. All of the decorative items and personal items in the common spaces are mine and it makes me feel like I'm the only one here. :( Perhaps it's too early to judge, or perhaps I just expected too much... but this place feels dead.

[Le Rouge]

My girlfriend's mother is a huge fucking asshole. Really pissed at the immaturity of this particular 50+ year old.

I want to know what happened please. :blink:


I just had a look on my msn. one of my best friends just wrote in his nickname : Fuck the weak.
And another of my friends is just listening to a neo-nazi band called division skinhead.
I feel shame.

Seems like it's easier to be racist than not to be.

[RHIZOMES]

Doing an anthropology of religion course - the course is great, the coursework is horrible and unengaging. First assignment was to 'summarise' academic readings that were required for a topic - in 250 words each. Then when I get the mark back I get told off for "not being specific enough" in summarising the topics with 2 readings. Its completely sadistic.

Then this assignment is a "review" which is basically summary + opinion, in 500 words. Adding your own opinion in 500 words is just as bad if not worse as summarising in 250 words.

Fuck.
This.
Course.

The only thing that's stopping me from procrastinating on this horrible assignment is that I get to write about Mass Effect for my next upcoming deadline. :D

[¿Que?]

OK, It's 530 in the morning but I had to share.

Seems like when all is said and done, I can be a total douche. Here's the story:

Back a few months ago, I met a nice girl. We went out a couple of times, but we never even kissed or anything. She lost her phone, and so neither one of us had anyway of contacting the other. So I friend her on facebook, only to be mysteriously unfriended the next day.

Fast forward to last months. I meet someone else. We start going out a lot. We end up dating, but when I ask her about it, she says let's just take it one day at a time.

The whole while I'm also bothering my friend whose friends with the first girl on facebook, to ask her why she unfriended me. Well, it turns out as I suspected that she didn't mean to, and that someone had hacked into her account I think is what he said. See, he doesn't speak very good spanish, and she only speaks spanish. So yeah, the whole thing as to why she unfriended me is still some what of a mystery.

But just today, I friend the first girl on facebook, and she accepts the request. But then she writes on my wall how we need to hang out again and whatnot, which makes me really nervous because like I said, I'm sort of dating someone now.

Weird thing is, I haven't friended the girl I'm sort of dating. So she hasn't seen the post the other girl posted.

I'm just at a loss, because I can't decide if it's just an innocent post between friends, or what, because honestly, I've always been really into the first girl. The girl I'm dating is cool and I like her, but I'm not sure how she would react if she saw the other girl's post (let alone if she knew how I felt about her).

Like I said, with the first girl, we were never even dating and we never even kissed or anything. However, for some reason I feel really guilty about trying to get into contact with her again, probably because I find her really compelling and attractive, and yet I'm currently sort of dating someone else.

Does any of this make sense. Am I being uptight and worrying about nothing, or is this something I should be concerned about. I really don't want to be the type of douchebag that cheats, but I kind of value my friendship with the other girl and I'll be the first to admit, it's not exactly innocent. I mean, I don't even know if she likes me in that way, but I know I do her.

I don't know. That's the story. Feedback much appreciated.

[thriller]

OK, It's 530 in the morning but I had to share.

Seems like when all is said and done, I can be a total douche. Here's the story:

Back a few months ago, I met a nice girl. We went out a couple of times, but we never even kissed or anything. She lost her phone, and so neither one of us had anyway of contacting the other. So I friend her on facebook, only to be mysteriously unfriended the next day.

Fast forward to last months. I meet someone else. We start going out a lot. We end up dating, but when I ask her about it, she says let's just take it one day at a time.

The whole while I'm also bothering my friend whose friends with the first girl on facebook, to ask her why she unfriended me. Well, it turns out as I suspected that she didn't mean to, and that someone had hacked into her account I think is what he said. See, he doesn't speak very good spanish, and she only speaks spanish. So yeah, the whole thing as to why she unfriended me is still some what of a mystery.

But just today, I friend the first girl on facebook, and she accepts the request. But then she writes on my wall how we need to hang out again and whatnot, which makes me really nervous because like I said, I'm sort of dating someone now.

Weird thing is, I haven't friended the girl I'm sort of dating. So she hasn't seen the post the other girl posted.

I'm just at a loss, because I can't decide if it's just an innocent post between friends, or what, because honestly, I've always been really into the first girl. The girl I'm dating is cool and I like her, but I'm not sure how she would react if she saw the other girl's post (let alone if she knew how I felt about her).

Like I said, with the first girl, we were never even dating and we never even kissed or anything. However, for some reason I feel really guilty about trying to get into contact with her again, probably because I find her really compelling and attractive, and yet I'm currently sort of dating someone else.

Does any of this make sense. Am I being uptight and worrying about nothing, or is this something I should be concerned about. I really don't want to be the type of douchebag that cheats, but I kind of value my friendship with the other girl and I'll be the first to admit, it's not exactly innocent. I mean, I don't even know if she likes me in that way, but I know I do her.

I don't know. That's the story. Feedback much appreciated.

You're not being uptight, IMHO. The heart makes people go through crazy scenarios in their head. You're not cheating by staying in contact with both of them. My advice, maybe just hang out with the first girl and see how it goes. You might regret ignoring the first girl months down the line if you and the second girl butt heads, so to speak, later on. Take a chance and see what happens. Of course this means explaining your side to the second girl. It prolly won't be easy and make your stomach turn, but then again, you gotta fight for what you want (should be taking my own advice here :( ). After all, isn't dating and love a series of butterflies and stomach aches?

[¿Que?]

You're not being uptight, IMHO. The heart makes people go through crazy scenarios in their head. You're not cheating by staying in contact with both of them. My advice, maybe just hang out with the first girl and see how it goes. You might regret ignoring the first girl months down the line if you and the second girl butt heads, so to speak, later on. Take a chance and see what happens. Of course this means explaining your side to the second girl. It prolly won't be easy and make your stomach turn, but then again, you gotta fight for what you want (should be taking my own advice here :( ). After all, isn't dating and love a series of butterflies and stomach aches?
Thanks. So what's your story? Why do you say you should be taking your own advice...

[thriller]

Thanks. So what's your story? Why do you say you should be taking your own advice...

Considering my girlfriend left, I should be fighting for her by running to her. It's easier said than done tho.

[Salyut]

Dickies website (http://www.dickies.com/product/product_listing.jsp?clearShopBys=true&FOLDER%3A%3Afolder_id=2534374302024405) - shirts are ~$20
Work shirts (http://www.bestbuyuniforms.com/listing.asp?cid=70) - $10+
More work shirts (http://www.automotiveworkwear.com/Merchant2/shirts.html) - $10+

Lemme know how your thrift store run went. But seriously, buy this shit online because you don't need to spend more than 20 bucks for a fine quality shirt to wear to work.

- August

I've managed to put off the thrift store due to laziness; but I was able to find the local Dickie's equivalent and get some more stuff. I'm seemingly better dressed then a lot of guys on campus (ok I look bourgeois-ish - maybe I need some Che shirts, etc*) and I've actually been told I look cute by multiple people. This is pretty awesome. :cool:

Also getting involved with some of the more radical organizations on campus. Good times ahead.

*being sarcastic. I've got my backpack covered in various buttons from the Womens Center and the IWW though - which is awesome.

[Leftsolidarity]

Considering my girlfriend left, I should be fighting for her by running to her. It's easier said than done tho.

I'm going to go against what I am doing myself and tell you to let her go. All my running after my ex has done me nothing but harm.

[praxis1966]

I'm going to go against what I am doing myself and tell you to let her go. All my running after my ex has done me nothing but harm.

I wonder who could have warned you about that... ;)

[Leftsolidarity]

I wonder who could have warned you about that... ;)

Still not listening ;) hahaha just thought id throw that out there

[thriller]

I'm going to go against what I am doing myself and tell you to let her go. All my running after my ex has done me nothing but harm.

Thanks for the advice. Things have actually turned to my favor tho. I let her go, and sent her a letter letting her know how I feel and that u wish her luck and want her to be happy and such forth. Well she responded saying a future is possible. I'm not getting my hopes up, but it lifted my spirits somewhat.

[Salyut]

Clinic doctor managed to make me feel like an idiot. Fuck.

edit: actually he was a total cock (seriously fuck him). Ironically I remembered as I was walking out (before popping some lorazepam at home because I was upset and raging) that the fucking doctors have kept blocking efforts by the nursing association to set up nurse-run clinics...because hey, fuck the people who can't find doctors, it cuts away at the profit margin. I look forward to solidarity actions the next time the nurses strike.

[Pretty Flaco]

This is really just an observation but I've noticed that midwest people swear less than east coast people. I'll be walking somewhere and there could be a lot of traffic and i might say something like "jesus christ goddamn so much fuckin traffic" and a midwesterner would say "oh a lot of traffic". Or let's say I'm playing a sport and I fuck up, I'd shout "GODDAMN" or "FUCK" or some swear along those lines and I'd whisper more under my breath in a frustrated sort of way. I've heard people around here say things like "oh gosh" and "oh man". It almost sounds funny when I hear people substitute swears with those sorts of words.

So what I'm saying is, from my experience people from the east coast swear often and it means less for them to swear; swearing is just a normal part of a sentence and not necessarily related to anger "Wow nice fucking day outside, right?". While midwesterners tend to only use swears on extreme cases out of anger.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

This is really just an observation but I've noticed that midwest people swear less than east coast people. I'll be walking somewhere and there could be a lot of traffic and i might say something like "jesus christ goddamn so much fuckin traffic" and a midwesterner would say "oh a lot of traffic". Or let's say I'm playing a sport and I fuck up, I'd shout "GODDAMN" or "FUCK" or some swear along those lines and I'd whisper more under my breath in a frustrated sort of way. I've heard people around here say things like "oh gosh" and "oh man". It almost sounds funny when I hear people substitute swears with those sorts of words.

So what I'm saying is, from my experience people from the east coast swear often and it means less for them to swear; swearing is just a normal part of a sentence and not necessarily related to anger "Wow nice fucking day outside, right?". While midwesterners tend to only use swears on extreme cases out of anger.
It's the same thing with people from the West Coast. I visited my family in Missouri not too long ago and the whole week there I didn't cuss one time because none of them ever cussed and I would have felt weird if I did. It felt weird.

[Leftsolidarity]

This is really just an observation but I've noticed that midwest people swear less than east coast people. I'll be walking somewhere and there could be a lot of traffic and i might say something like "jesus christ goddamn so much fuckin traffic" and a midwesterner would say "oh a lot of traffic". Or let's say I'm playing a sport and I fuck up, I'd shout "GODDAMN" or "FUCK" or some swear along those lines and I'd whisper more under my breath in a frustrated sort of way. I've heard people around here say things like "oh gosh" and "oh man". It almost sounds funny when I hear people substitute swears with those sorts of words.

So what I'm saying is, from my experience people from the east coast swear often and it means less for them to swear; swearing is just a normal part of a sentence and not necessarily related to anger "Wow nice fucking day outside, right?". While midwesterners tend to only use swears on extreme cases out of anger.

Haha I think it's all just where you are in the mid-west. I swear like a trucker and so does almost everyone I know. Even my teachers at school just swear like its no big deal. Maybe you're with some uptight people.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Urgh...I feel like I am going no where in math....

[Pretty Flaco]

Haha I think it's all just where you are in the mid-west. I swear like a trucker and so does almost everyone I know. Even my teachers at school just swear like its no big deal. Maybe you're with some uptight people.

One of my teachers is from Illinois (i think) and he swears often but not like me. Most people that I know that swear like truckers is from the east coast.
I mean, I'll tell people here that my little old great grandma in her 80s (who now lives in Florida) swears a whole bunch and people think I'm joking. "Would you kiss your mother with that mouth" more like "would your grandmother kiss you with that mouth." the woman speaks like a goddamn sailor :rolleyes:
p.s. my great grandma was the first person in my whole family to move to the US and she used to live in new jersey

[#FF0000]

I don't finish anything I start anymore. It used to be that I was one of those people who procrastinated hardcore and got things done at the last minute. At this point I just don't do it. I ignore major deadlines all the time without even thinking about it. Last year I don't think I went to any of my finals. Rarely did I hand in a paper. It's avoidance. Just thinking about a commitment I've made, any commitment. just makes me so uncomfortable and stresses me out so much that I just ignore it. I'm conscious of it. I just ignore it. And I'm comfortable.

So this is pretty much all-encompassing in my life. I rarely finish books. I rarely finish video games. I don't write at all anymore. I don't practice any of my instruments. And, I am very close to just dropping out of school. I say I'll go back later, but I say that kind of thing a lot.

As a result I feel a lot of the things I really want to do are out of a "fear of success", or laziness, or out of a desire to "run away" from my problems (whatever they are). I'm not sure, but I think I want to move out, put a handful of my possessions somewhere safe, or leave them with my brother or something, and then just walk the earth. I think this because I've always felt burdened by my possessions -- losing things and data has always been cathartic to me. But, mostly, I've always felt like things have been passing me by, and that everything is happening somewhere else.

But like I said, I'm afraid this is really borne out of the whole never-finishing-what-i-start thing.

On top of this, I have the distinct feeling of having missed opportunities. People all around me have moved away, going somewhere else (and somewhere better) for college, having better experiences, meeting new people, and all this. Meanwhile I am at home, staying the same. Or deteriorating.

[praxis1966]

I don't finish anything I start anymore. It used to be that I was one of those people who procrastinated hardcore and got things done at the last minute. At this point I just don't do it. I ignore major deadlines all the time without even thinking about it. Last year I don't think I went to any of my finals. Rarely did I hand in a paper. It's avoidance. Just thinking about a commitment I've made, any commitment. just makes me so uncomfortable and stresses me out so much that I just ignore it. I'm conscious of it. I just ignore it. And I'm comfortable.

So this is pretty much all-encompassing in my life. I rarely finish books. I rarely finish video games. I don't write at all anymore. I don't practice any of my instruments. And, I am very close to just dropping out of school. I say I'll go back later, but I say that kind of thing a lot.

As a result I feel a lot of the things I really want to do are out of a "fear of success", or laziness, or out of a desire to "run away" from my problems (whatever they are). I'm not sure, but I think I want to move out, put a handful of my possessions somewhere safe, or leave them with my brother or something, and then just walk the earth. I think this because I've always felt burdened by my possessions -- losing things and data has always been cathartic to me. But, mostly, I've always felt like things have been passing me by, and that everything is happening somewhere else.

But like I said, I'm afraid this is really borne out of the whole never-finishing-what-i-start thing.

On top of this, I have the distinct feeling of having missed opportunities. People all around me have moved away, going somewhere else (and somewhere better) for college, having better experiences, meeting new people, and all this. Meanwhile I am at home, staying the same. Or deteriorating.

This entire post is a near picture perfect description of major depression. I don't know whether you need to be medicated or not, but some talk therapy couldn't hurt your situation. In the meantime, picking up some kind of exercise regiment might be helpful.

[¿Que?]

Man o man. I don't want to get too personal today but I wrote a poem:

Last November

Oh, last November, it changed my life. How can I go on?
Last November, a revolution in my mind.

Oh, last November. The day before yesterday I was with a woman.
Yesterday another one called. But neither was you.

Oh, last November, I saw you today. Walking up that hill.

I think I love you last November...

[Aurora]

@#FF0000
I just want to second Praxis here, that's almost word for word the situation i was in around 16 months ago and i was majorly depressed, literally couldn't function at the worst like.

I ended up dropping out of school and while i can look back and appreciate how messed up i was, i really wish i'd finished.

I ended up going to a therapist which was useful, if just to have someone to talk to, perhaps that's something to consider the sooner the better really as they tend to have long waiting lists.

[#FF0000]

This entire post is a near picture perfect description of major depression. I don't know whether you need to be medicated or not, but some talk therapy couldn't hurt your situation. In the meantime, picking up some kind of exercise regiment might be helpful.

Will do on the exercise. I was trying to figure out what to do since a gym is out of the budget but I decided I can just walk a lot.

But I don't know if it's depression. This is pretty much how I've operated since I was 14. I always jump from book to book and game to game while rarely finishing them. I never really had that kind of focus.

I don't know,

[praxis1966]

Will do on the exercise. I was trying to figure out what to do since a gym is out of the budget but I decided I can just walk a lot.

But I don't know if it's depression. This is pretty much how I've operated since I was 14. I always jump from book to book and game to game while rarely finishing them. I never really had that kind of focus.

I don't know,

Not for nothing, but it's entirely possible that if your depression is biochemical rather than just situational sadness that you've been suffering it since you were 14. These things have a way of rearing their heads during pubescence, which as a male would be about that age... The biggest tip off to me, however, is the fact that you don't seem to derive any pleasure from doing things that you used to enjoy. That, and the fact that you don't feel like an actor in your own life and you seem to wanna be somewhere else or (in all likelihood) be somebody else.

Trust me, dude, I've been through damned near everything you're talking about. It's the kind of depression that is twofold: partially brain chemistry, partially rage turned inward.

[Catmatic Leftist]

[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*!$WOWWWOOWOWWOWOO WTF GAHFHGAHGAGHJGAGHGH#*(&$#[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*[email protected]%*&!$%@!^%[email protected]%$!%$%@!^$%@*!$WOWWWOOWOWWOWOO WTF GAHFHGAHGAGHJGAGHGHWOWWWOOWOWWOWOO WTF GAHFHGAHGAGHJGAGHGHWOWWWOOWOWWOWOO WTF GAHFHGAHGAGHJGAGHGHWOWWWOOWOWWOWOO WTF GAHFHGAHGAGHJGAGHGHWOWWWOOWOWWOWOO WTF GAHFHGAHGAGHJGAGHGHWOWWWOOWOWWOWOO WTF GAHFHGAHGAGHJGAGHGHWOWWWOOWOWWOWOO WTF GAHFHGAHGAGHJGAGHGHWOWWWOOWOWWOWOO WTF GAHFHGAHGAGHJGAGHGHWOWWWOOWOWWOWOO WTF GAHFHGAHGAGHJGAGHGH

[Salyut]

I was depressed this morning.

Then I went to the IWW local meeting and we got shit done. It was awesome and I met a historian-type dude who has written on the history of left-wing movements in canada and stuff. Awesome day.

I end up back on campus, and I run into a classmate I hadn't seen for two months. We get to talking and end up meeting up together that night. His roommate had a badass Lenin poster. Turns out I was looking at a Fightback! member, who was extremely happy to run into another leftist. First Trot I've ever met, much less seen, in the flesh. We were walking to get pizza and ended up talking about vanguard party theory and shit.

This has been a very awesome, but very odd day. All my days are turning out like this, and its like on some crazy accelerating singularity of lolwutness. :bored:

[kinda baked atm and my post quality is shiiiit]

[thefinalmarch]

You guys are seriously painting a disheartening image of my not-too-distant future for me.

[Property Is Robbery]

Blood in mah stool. No more copious amounts of spicy food for me. :(

[Die Rote Fahne]

Blood in mah stool. No more copious amounts of spicy food for me. :(

Have you consulted a doctor?

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Blood in mah stool. No more copious amounts of spicy food for me. :(

You should see a doctor...I am pretty sure spicy food doesn't cause blood to appear in your stool.

[Landsharks eat metal]

I want to die.

[Property Is Robbery]

Probably should but moneys tight. Maybe I'll go to a free clinic. But it stopped after I cut spicy stuff out of my diet.

[Property Is Robbery]

I want to die.
I'm sure we all feel that way sometimes. I know I have. Why exactly?

[Landsharks eat metal]

I'm sure we all feel that way sometimes. I know I have. Why exactly?
There's no real reason. I've been feeling really depressed for about 3 days now, and I'm always tired and completely unmotivated, except sometimes I'll have short periods of time where I feel randomly excited, afraid, or angry/frustrated. I got really pissed off today for no reason and really wanted to stab myself, but I knew I'd wimp out before I did any damage (and the only thing I had was manicure scissors.

I pretty much went outside in the bushes next to the door of my dorm builing and started stabbing myself with the scissors, but I failed and felt even worse. I only drew a couple drops of blood and have a few raised marks on my wrist and leg. I talked about it with a friend later, but that didn't really help. I'm on antidepressants right now and have been for 5 or 6 years, so I'm not sure what the problem is.

(I'm not homesick either, and knowing that there are people who care about me doesn't make me feel better, just guilty.)

Sorry. I sound so pathetic.

[Lobotomy]

Fuck everything about everything. My boyfriend is about to become homeless by no fault of his own and I live an hour away and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

[Salyut]

I joined the tango club because I needed something to do on the weekends, and my therapists were all "this is a good idea and you should do it."

So I did. Sunday was pretty awesome, and I actually managed to not make myself look totally awkward.

Also I was the only dude there. :mellow:

[xub3rn00dlex]

Fuck everything about everything. My boyfriend is about to become homeless by no fault of his own and I live an hour away and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

What happened?! Are there relatives/friends of his/yours that he can stay with until he finds someplace new?

[Lobotomy]

What happened?! Are there relatives/friends of his/yours that he can stay with until he finds someplace new?

Basically he doesn't get to work too much lately because his industry is kind of on an off season, and he just found out this week that his roommate is leaving so he either needs a new roommate or a new place to stay and he simply cannot find an option for either that is within his fairly meager budget limit. All of his friends and family either don't care enough or they are in even more of a world of shit than he is. :(

[xub3rn00dlex]

Basically he doesn't get to work too much lately because his industry is kind of on an off season, and he just found out this week that his roommate is leaving so he either needs a new roommate or a new place to stay and he simply cannot find an option for either that is within his fairly meager budget limit. All of his friends and family either don't care enough or they are in even more of a world of shit than he is. :(

Aww fuck, I had/have relatives in the same position. Has he tried contacting any students seeking to room? I know around my college and my ex's college there were always posters searching for people to room with outside of campus. I'm sorry to hear about your situation, it takes a serious toll on people. Do you know if he can temp somewhere until the pace picks up again at his job?

[Le Socialiste]

I've come to the realization that I have no idea what I'm doing (or not doing), why I'm doing it (or not doing it), and what will come of it. I'm pursuing an education that will leave me thousands of dollars in debt, to take up a profession that will all but guarantee me an unstable financial footing in this fucked up world. But honestly, I don't give a shit about the money. That's never really mattered to me; for some reason I just really don't care about the amount of money I make. That's not what bothers me - what bothers me is this feeling of drifting, this inactivity that feeds my worries over what is and what will come. I spend my days making plans for what may or may not come years from now only to realize I've made no plans for the present. I'm 21, and already I feel as though I've missed this huge, magnificant thing, this fleeting euphoria that we're told ought to guide our youthful existence. Looking back though, I don't regret my past. It was a fucking amazing past. But now it's gone, and for the last 2 years I've let myself drift along towards what I hope will be my future. I feel - I know - that these last 2 years have been nothing but a period of waiting for what begins next year. I've done some magnificent shit, but I can't shake the feeling, the one that tells me I need to do more. To say "fuck it", and just let go of everything holding me back. Fuck, I'm just all over the place. I want to experience life. I want to stop caring about my fears and inhibitions and just let the experiences carry me for awhile.

...

And that's the end of my rant. Thank God for this thread.

[Quail]

I'm about to go to an appointment with the eating disorder nurse knowing full well that I've fucked up pretty much every day of my meal plan and it's going to look like I've not made any effort. I don't know if she'll be angry or disappointed or what. I've only been to 3 sessions and people seem to expect everything to be magically fine again, but in fact I think my mental health is getting worse.

[Landsharks eat metal]

I still want to kill myself. I've been acting like such a dumbass. I was practically crying last night because I didn't want to be alone, then I was scared to talk to anyone.

I don't want to leave my room.

[Lobotomy]

Aww fuck, I had/have relatives in the same position. Has he tried contacting any students seeking to room? I know around my college and my ex's college there were always posters searching for people to room with outside of campus. I'm sorry to hear about your situation, it takes a serious toll on people. Do you know if he can temp somewhere until the pace picks up again at his job?

That's a good idea about looking for students to room with, I'll suggest that to him. He was looking at jobs like a month ago but the job situation over here is pretty dismal (as it is everywhere else).

[PhoenixAsh]

There's no real reason. I've been feeling really depressed for about 3 days now, and I'm always tired and completely unmotivated, except sometimes I'll have short periods of time where I feel randomly excited, afraid, or angry/frustrated. I got really pissed off today for no reason and really wanted to stab myself, but I knew I'd wimp out before I did any damage (and the only thing I had was manicure scissors.

I pretty much went outside in the bushes next to the door of my dorm builing and started stabbing myself with the scissors, but I failed and felt even worse. I only drew a couple drops of blood and have a few raised marks on my wrist and leg. I talked about it with a friend later, but that didn't really help. I'm on antidepressants right now and have been for 5 or 6 years, so I'm not sure what the problem is.

(I'm not homesick either, and knowing that there are people who care about me doesn't make me feel better, just guilty.)

Sorry. I sound so pathetic.



I still want to kill myself. I've been acting like such a dumbass. I was practically crying last night because I didn't want to be alone, then I was scared to talk to anyone.

I don't want to leave my room.


No! you do not sound pathetic. And you are not alone in how you feel.

I know the feelings you describe and I have been going though that myself...and it is fucking hard.

Nothing about what you are going through is pathetic.

What helped me is, and I know you definately do not want to hear this, is find something that you can do daily involving sports in a place where you are in a position to meet other people when you so feel like it. Perhaps a gym...which allows you to do your thing induvidually but also offers a place where there are others around with whom you can socialize if the need strikes you.

I also did theraphy. Which helped slowely.

So what is it that gives you the most anxiety? What feeling?

[Landsharks eat metal]

So what is it that gives you the most anxiety? What feeling?
The feeling that I can't really connect with others too well. I know a lot of people, but when I spend time with others, it's never one-on-one. It's usually in a group of five or more, and I don't always feel comfortable talking. I know some people I want to get to know better and become friends with, but I'm scared of screwing up. Everyone else is always talking and having a good time, but sometimes I'm just silent and I feel like I'm a waste of space.

[PhoenixAsh]

The feeling that I can't really connect with others too well. I know a lot of people, but when I spend time with others, it's never one-on-one. It's usually in a group of five or more, and I don't always feel comfortable talking. I know some people I want to get to know better and become friends with, but I'm scared of screwing up. Everyone else is always talking and having a good time, but sometimes I'm just silent and I feel like I'm a waste of space.

I know what you mean. It is like feeling that you are an observer on the fringes of the group and never really part of that group even though you are there and participating to some extend.

Maybe...I do not know...you feel like if you call people you are intruding on their time...invading their lives? I have that sometimes.

But you need to remember...you are part of that group you are with. And you can act in that group. Do not be afraid and try to go beyond that fear. I know that is extremely hard but when people get to know you they will accept a lot from you...more than you initially expect. Now...if it helps try to get that one-on-one time. Maybe that will give you some positive feedback which will then give you more confidence when you are with that person.

But here is the thing...as long as you feel that way and act on it...then every reaction you get can become an affirmation of the feeling. So for example...if you decide to act and you get a slightly negative first response...that will be interpreted as an affirmation of your feeling that you screw up. DO NOT GIVE INTO THAT FEELING....remind yourself: this is one persons response! Not everybody is the same! Not everybody needs to like me. The opinion of somebody of me does not define me!

You are not a screw up...and eventhough sometimes you will screw up...this ultimately doesn't really matter.

Now...what is ultimately important is that you try to like yourself. Because...when it comes down to it...you are in fact the only person that truely matters to yourself. There are billions of people in the world...but you will olnly have to spend the entire time with yourself.

So find reasons which you like about yourself. Remind yourself of those points.

[xub3rn00dlex]

That's a good idea about looking for students to room with, I'll suggest that to him. He was looking at jobs like a month ago but the job situation over here is pretty dismal (as it is everywhere else).

What industry does he work in? I know most of my relatives work in the construction industry, and they've been suffering pretty badly. One of my dad's close friends is happy to work 2 days a week now, and it's gotten so bad that his wife started working after being out of the labor force for over 12 years.

My uncle lucked out and got a job with a city union working mostly on roadway construction after being unemployed for 6 months after trucking.

In my company there are several coworkers who also room with other people by splitting apartment costs evenly, so perhaps he could try to reach out to workers in the same situation as him.

[Obs]

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God almighty. Jesus Christ. Fuck me.

I can't tell why I'm so fucking shocked. I promised not to tell anyone. But I heard some shit today that I could not fucking handle. Goddamn if that wasn't the realest thing I've ever experienced. Holy shit. I just needed to get something off my chest now. Christ.

[Leftsolidarity]

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God almighty. Jesus Christ. Fuck me.

I can't tell why I'm so fucking shocked. I promised not to tell anyone. But I heard some shit today that I could not fucking handle. Goddamn if that wasn't the realest thing I've ever experienced. Holy shit.

Well not that you got me all curious do tell...:)

[PhoenixAsh]

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God almighty. Jesus Christ. Fuck me.

I can't tell why I'm so fucking shocked. I promised not to tell anyone. But I heard some shit today that I could not fucking handle. Goddamn if that wasn't the realest thing I've ever experienced. Holy shit. I just needed to get something off my chest now. Christ.

That sounds like it really sucks. :ohmy:


I hate it when people tell me secrets I can't handle...usually I simply anonimise the story and abstract it and tell it to someone who is far, far, far removed from having anything to do with the story or any relationship to anything involved in the story...unless it is criminal in nature...in which case I probably punch the person who told me in the first place for saddling me with the secret.

[Obs]

Well not that you got me all curious do tell...:)
Can you read?

[Leftsolidarity]

Can you read?

Apparently not haha I completely skipped over that part of you not being able to tell :blushing:

[xub3rn00dlex]

Can you read?

Will our jedi mind tricks work ?!

[Le Rouge]

Just missed the Red army choir show in montreal...I want to die now :D

[thriller]

My sister... Annoying! The other day she goes on and on about she is more communist than me. First off, I didn't know it was a competition. Secondly, becoming addicted to drugs and stealing my parents shit then running away to be homeless so you can spend all your time on drugs and THEN moving back in with your parents and refusing to work or go to school or do anything but watch TV doesn't seem to communistic to me. Maybe I missed that part... Blahhhhh just needed to vent about that.

[PhoenixAsh]

Will our jedi mind tricks work ?!

Well he stopped looking for the droids...so yes...yes they do.

[thriller]

Well he stopped looking for the droids...so yes...yes they do.

Jedi mind tricks will not work. They will not work...

[Landsharks eat metal]

I have a counseling appointment tomorrow morning at my school's health and wellness center. I never worked up the guts to contact them myself. Someone contacted them with a notice of concern about me, and I received an email saying they wanted to see me. It might be kind of irrational, but I'm scared as shit. I've been to counseling appointments before and nothing has ever gone terribly wrong. I don't know.

[bietan jarrai]

Fuck yes, I'm finally fitting in my new class/school. Took a while longer than usual.

[PhoenixAsh]

I have a counseling appointment tomorrow morning at my school's health and wellness center. I never worked up the guts to contact them myself. Someone contacted them with a notice of concern about me, and I received an email saying they wanted to see me. It might be kind of irrational, but I'm scared as shit. I've been to counseling appointments before and nothing has ever gone terribly wrong. I don't know.


I think this is good news I think. I do not know exactly what the counceling entails in your part of the world. But at my university they were generally in a very good position to give you good advice and give you suggestions were you should go for additional assistance and can often help you towards the right direction. Don't be afraid. Let us know how it went!

[Lobotomy]

What industry does he work in? I know most of my relatives work in the construction industry, and they've been suffering pretty badly. One of my dad's close friends is happy to work 2 days a week now, and it's gotten so bad that his wife started working after being out of the labor force for over 12 years.

My uncle lucked out and got a job with a city union working mostly on roadway construction after being unemployed for 6 months after trucking.

In my company there are several coworkers who also room with other people by splitting apartment costs evenly, so perhaps he could try to reach out to workers in the same situation as him.

That sucks :/ yeah I have some other family members who are in construction and face the same problems. My boyfriend, however, is a stagehand in a theater. He's in somewhat of a leading position so he's now looking at supervisor jobs in warehouses and stuff.

[xub3rn00dlex]

That sucks :/ yeah I have some other family members who are in construction and face the same problems. My boyfriend, however, is a stagehand in a theater. He's in somewhat of a leading position so he's now looking at supervisor jobs in warehouses and stuff.

That's good to hear, I'm sure that because he's in a leading position his current employed would give him a great review if/when a new employer would call them for references. I hope all goes well for your situation! I never knew theaters had off seasons, since the ones here in NYC are pretty much constantly running.



Well he stopped looking for the droids...so yes...yes they do.

I'd recommend an advanced group jedi mind trick assault, but I'm afraid that might be too much to handle.


Jedi mind tricks will not work. They will not work...

You have much too learn young padawan... I also sense traces of sith....

[Lobotomy]

I never knew theaters had off seasons, since the ones here in NYC are pretty much constantly running.

Yeah, in big cities there isn't really an off season, but he works in a somewhat small town so there's really only a lot of work around the holidays.

[PhoenixAsh]

I have a counseling appointment tomorrow morning at my school's health and wellness center. I never worked up the guts to contact them myself. Someone contacted them with a notice of concern about me, and I received an email saying they wanted to see me. It might be kind of irrational, but I'm scared as shit. I've been to counseling appointments before and nothing has ever gone terribly wrong. I don't know.

How did it go?

[Leftsolidarity]

ah to be told by the only person you've loved that they just don't care about you like that and their plans to fuck many other people. gotta love it :thumbup:

[Susurrus]

ah to be told by the only person you've love that they just don't care about you like that and their plans to fuck many other people. gotta love it :thumbup:

Sounds bad man.

[Leftsolidarity]

Sounds bad man.

Nothin I haven't already complained about on Revleft enough already haha

I had just gotten off the phone with her and I was so upset it was either type a sarcastic comment or punch a hole in my wall. I figured that my wall didn't deserve to be punched at the moment so I chose a sarcastic comment.

[PhoenixAsh]

ah to be told by the only person you've love that they just don't care about you like that and their plans to fuck many other people. gotta love it :thumbup:

Know how that feels. :mad::cursing:

[¿Que?]

I'm bumming out because I need to have thesis revisions done by tomorrow morning, plus a friend of mine whose children are in another country has just posted a very sad update on her facebook status. Apparently, she misses her kids and was apologizing for leaving them. And I think you guys might appreciate the fact of her journey over here, although I'm reluctant to say how she got here exactly. Let me just say that she did not need to present any documents. It's weird because I interact with people like this on a daily basis, but I never really get to know them, you know?

In any case, I'm only assuming that she is referring to her kids, because honestly, I forgot their names. I'm such a douche, but my real concern is for her. I just want to do something to make her feel better, but I really don't know how severe her melancholy is. I mean, for all I know, she could just be having the blues for the evening, and will be happy again in the morning. I don't really know her too well. And I also feel a bit shallow for some reason.

[Smyg]

ah to be told by the only person you've love that they just don't care about you like that and their plans to fuck many other people. gotta love it :thumbup:

Know the exact feeling, man. Damn.

[Crux]

I'm 700 kr (103$) from being able to pay rent, plus I have an old unpaid phonebill I'd rather not think of, it's probably piling up at my old adress. I've been having anxiety attacks like I haven't had in a long long while. Sometimes I almost wish I'd just snap, break-down. I can't deal with this. I already havean substantial debt (737$) to my dad. None of my friends have any money to speak of. I am living here "black" i e off the record. I can't apply for social welfare. My only income is my girlfriends studentloan, basically. And this situation is tearing at our relationship as well. Right now I am allright, thinking it away. But the anxiety attacks are bound to come back. I haven't been sleeping straight for months. Eating comes and goes, partly due to my economical situation. I should be applying for jobs, but in the part of the country with the highest youth unemployment and very little background in work to show for what prospects do I have? If anyone wants to borrow me about 2000 (about 300$) with no hope of getting it back until at the very soonest january is welcome. Because I don't really know how to solve this shit.

[Crux]

I'm bumming out because I need to have thesis revisions done by tomorrow morning, plus a friend of mine whose children are in another country has just posted a very sad update on her facebook status. Apparently, she misses her kids and was apologizing for leaving them. And I think you guys might appreciate the fact of her journey over here, although I'm reluctant to say how she got here exactly. Let me just say that she did not need to present any documents. It's weird because I interact with people like this on a daily basis, but I never really get to know them, you know?

In any case, I'm only assuming that she is referring to her kids, because honestly, I forgot their names. I'm such a douche, but my real concern is for her. I just want to do something to make her feel better, but I really don't know how severe her melancholy is. I mean, for all I know, she could just be having the blues for the evening, and will be happy again in the morning. I don't really know her too well. And I also feel a bit shallow for some reason.
I know exactly what you mean. Asylum rights work can be very emotionally taxing. Especially when you don't win.

[Smyg]

I would if I could, but I'm not in a particularily good situation either, heh.

Oh silly people who thinks the Swedish welfare system works in real life, why won't you learn?

[¿Que?]

I'm 700 kr from being able to pay rent, plus I have an old unpaid phonebill I'd rather not think of, it's probably piling up at my old adress. I've been having anxiety attacks like I haven't had in a long long while. Sometimes I almost wish I'd just snap, break-down. I can't deal with this. I already havean substantial debt to my dad. None of my friends have any money to speak of. I am living here "black" i e off the record. I can't apply for social welfare. My only income is my girlfriends studentloan, basically. And this situation is tearing at our relationship as well. Right now I am allright, thinking it away. But the anxiety attacks are bound to come back. I haven't been sleeping straight for months. Eating comes and goes, partly due to my economical situation. I should be applying for jobs, but in the part of the country with the highest youth unemployment and very little background in work to show for what prospects do I have? If anyone wants to borrow me about 2000 with no hope of getting it back until at the very soonest january is welcome. Because I don't really know how to solve this shit.
Man, I don't have the 2000 but I'd loan it to you if I did. You may want to ask Bud (sort of kidding).

[Crux]

Man, I don't have the 2000 but I'd loan it to you if I did. You may want to ask Bud (sort of kidding).
it's about 294.81 $ not counting my 737.02 $ debt to dad, but he's pretty okay with it.

[thriller]

I'm 700 kr (103$) from being able to pay rent, plus I have an old unpaid phonebill I'd rather not think of, it's probably piling up at my old adress. I've been having anxiety attacks like I haven't had in a long long while. Sometimes I almost wish I'd just snap, break-down. I can't deal with this. I already havean substantial debt (737$) to my dad. None of my friends have any money to speak of. I am living here "black" i e off the record. I can't apply for social welfare. My only income is my girlfriends studentloan, basically. And this situation is tearing at our relationship as well. Right now I am allright, thinking it away. But the anxiety attacks are bound to come back. I haven't been sleeping straight for months. Eating comes and goes, partly due to my economical situation. I should be applying for jobs, but in the part of the country with the highest youth unemployment and very little background in work to show for what prospects do I have? If anyone wants to borrow me about 2000 (about 300$) with no hope of getting it back until at the very soonest january is welcome. Because I don't really know how to solve this shit.

Fuck man, I'm sorry to hear that. I would if I could, but I'm sort of in the same position. Me and my girlfriend both live off my loans since we both got laid off recently. I used to spange to get money for food and rent. I know it sounds bad, but fuck, what else was I supposed to do? I'll let u know if I'm able to help in the coming week.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Why the fuck do people feel the need to start fires at five in the morning? Urgh...well,an early start to my day I suppose.

[Susurrus]

Does anyone techno savvy want to start a paypal fundraiser or something for our comrade in need? I figure that if everyone pitches in like a dollar or so it would be fairly easy to raise $300, but I don't know how to start one.

[Pretty Flaco]

The only true path to a woman's heart is chocolate.

[Leftsolidarity]

I just made a new best friend. I'm so fucking happy! :D:D:D

[TheGodlessUtopian]

I just made a new best friend. I'm so fucking happy! :D:D:D

Great to hear :)

[Apoi_Viitor]

I hate my college. It's been over a month and I haven't made a single friend. I've been doing decently academically, but being in class bores me to tears, and I'm starting to care less and less about doing my work. Plus I started cutting myself again.

[Lobotomy]

Does anyone techno savvy want to start a paypal fundraiser or something for our comrade in need? I figure that if everyone pitches in like a dollar or so it would be fairly easy to raise $300, but I don't know how to start one.

I'd be willing to donate a bit if someone else set it up but I don't know how paypal works.

[Crux]

Does anyone techno savvy want to start a paypal fundraiser or something for our comrade in need? I figure that if everyone pitches in like a dollar or so it would be fairly easy to raise $300, but I don't know how to start one.
I don't know either. but anyone who wants to help out can drop me a PM. I really appreciate it.

[Susurrus]

I'll look into the paypal idea. Good luck in the meanwhile.

[Salyut]

My Women's Studies class is making me realize how totally fucked up my home province is.

Case point. (http://www.policyalternatives.ca/sites/default/files/uploads/publications/Saskatchewan_Pubs/2005/sasknotes4_1.pdf)

The three men had all charges dropped in 2007. There was much support for them, and even the judge was whining about reverse racism at one point. Also support for the police who killed - lynched really - Neil Stonechild (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Stonechild) and other First Nations people.

Also more general stuff. The fighting, treatment of women, lack of police presence, animal abuse (one guy raped his cat to death), reenforcement that this province is THE ONE GOOD PLACE (tm)... Yeah that shit apparently ain't the norm outside of home. :blink:

[Metacomet]

The HR people and the managers at my store are so pissy at me I can't do anything but laugh. :laugh: I'm probably not getting any hours there again.

Mainly because I

A. Didn't return their calls when I was 3000 miles away on a hiking trail.
B. Tell them I can't work till 11:30 at night
C. Don't treat the store like my life.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

My girlfriend and I just got in a fight I'm so pissed off right now. We were about to go somewhere so she comes over to my house. I'm getting ready and I invite her into my room for the first time and while I'm putting my shoes on she notices Capital Vol. 1 sitting on my shelf and my copy has "Karl Marx" written in pretty big letters on the spine. So she asks me "This book is by Karl Marx?" I'm like yeah it is. She asks me why I would read a book by Marx. Kind of awkward moment and I don't want to just say "I'm a communist" so I tell her I'm intrigued by his writings. Her response was "so you're a Marxist". I told her that I really don't like labeling myself as such, but that yeah I guess I am. It wasn't even really a fight, it was more like her yelling at me about some nonsense while I'm trying to calmly tell her she needs to calm the fuck down. Doesn't really work, she runs out of my house, drives away, and now she won't answer her phone. WHAT THE FUCK!

Like I'm just really shocked right now, I don't know what the fuck to say or think, really caught me off guard. God damn this pisses me off so badly right now.

[Susurrus]

Oh dear. You probably should've just said "I'm a communist." What exactly was she yelling?

[Leftsolidarity]

My girlfriend and I just got in a fight I'm so pissed off right now. We were about to go somewhere so she comes over to my house. I'm getting ready and I invite her into my room for the first time and while I'm putting my shoes on she notices Capital Vol. 1 sitting on my shelf and my copy has "Karl Marx" written in pretty big letters on the spine. So she asks me "This book is by Karl Marx?" I'm like yeah it is. She asks me why I would read a book by Marx. Kind of awkward moment and I don't want to just say "I'm a communist" so I tell her I'm intrigued by his writings. Her response was "so you're a Marxist". I told her that I really don't like labeling myself as such, but that yeah I guess I am. It wasn't even really a fight, it was more like her yelling at me about some nonsense while I'm trying to calmly tell her she needs to calm the fuck down. Doesn't really work, she runs out of my house, drives away, and now she won't answer her phone. WHAT THE FUCK!

Like I'm just really shocked right now, I don't know what the fuck to say or think, really caught me off guard. God damn this pisses me off so badly right now.

So she was mad because you are a communist?

[pax et aequalitas]

My girlfriend and I just got in a fight I'm so pissed off right now. We were about to go somewhere so she comes over to my house. I'm getting ready and I invite her into my room for the first time and while I'm putting my shoes on she notices Capital Vol. 1 sitting on my shelf and my copy has "Karl Marx" written in pretty big letters on the spine. So she asks me "This book is by Karl Marx?" I'm like yeah it is. She asks me why I would read a book by Marx. Kind of awkward moment and I don't want to just say "I'm a communist" so I tell her I'm intrigued by his writings. Her response was "so you're a Marxist". I told her that I really don't like labeling myself as such, but that yeah I guess I am. It wasn't even really a fight, it was more like her yelling at me about some nonsense while I'm trying to calmly tell her she needs to calm the fuck down. Doesn't really work, she runs out of my house, drives away, and now she won't answer her phone. WHAT THE FUCK!

Like I'm just really shocked right now, I don't know what the fuck to say or think, really caught me off guard. God damn this pisses me off so badly right now.

Damned dude, that just... sucks. I hate it when people act like that! And from your girlfriend no less, you'd expect her to be someone you can be open to =/

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Oh dear. You probably should've just said "I'm a communist." What exactly was she yelling?
You know all the anti-commie propaganda stuff. Commies are evil, they killed a billion people, t-shirt owns you, etc.


So she was mad because you are a communist? Yeah basically.


Damned dude, that just... sucks. I hate it when people act like that! And from your girlfriend no less, you'd expect her to be someone you can be open to =/ I know right, I've told her so much crap about me that she just accepted but then it comes up that I'm a communist she freaks out over that? What the fuck?!

[Die Rote Fahne]

You know all the anti-commie propaganda stuff. Commies are evil, they killed a billion people, t-shirt owns you, etc.

Yeah basically.

I know right, I've told her so much crap about me that she just accepted but then it comes up that I'm a communist she freaks out over that? What the fuck?!

Prove her wrong about communism. That's all you need to do.

[bietan jarrai]

My girlfriend and I just got in a fight I'm so pissed off right now. We were about to go somewhere so she comes over to my house. I'm getting ready and I invite her into my room for the first time and while I'm putting my shoes on she notices Capital Vol. 1 sitting on my shelf and my copy has "Karl Marx" written in pretty big letters on the spine. So she asks me "This book is by Karl Marx?" I'm like yeah it is. She asks me why I would read a book by Marx. Kind of awkward moment and I don't want to just say "I'm a communist" so I tell her I'm intrigued by his writings. Her response was "so you're a Marxist". I told her that I really don't like labeling myself as such, but that yeah I guess I am. It wasn't even really a fight, it was more like her yelling at me about some nonsense while I'm trying to calmly tell her she needs to calm the fuck down. Doesn't really work, she runs out of my house, drives away, and now she won't answer her phone. WHAT THE FUCK!

Like I'm just really shocked right now, I don't know what the fuck to say or think, really caught me off guard. God damn this pisses me off so badly right now.

Shit... so fucking sorry to hear that...

just a side note...
If I've learned two things from being a communist they are first not to be friends with people that can't accept my views and ideologies. AND (this is an essential point) never date comrades. seriously. Not saying you shouldn't date a communist/anarchist/whatever, but you shouldn't date someone in the same organization as yours. Trust me, that's firsthand experience...

Best of luck mate! If I was there we'd be driving to the nearest pub right away! Cheers comrade!

[Susurrus]

You know all the anti-commie propaganda stuff. Commies are evil, they killed a billion people, t-shirt owns you, etc.

Yeah, but if you come out with it directly it's easier to talk to people about it. Plus if you try to hide it, there's the whole "He's trying to hide it, it must be a bad thing" angle.

EDIT: oh, just realized you were responding to my question. That's rather foolish of her.

[Lobotomy]

Well, I just got diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. The good news is that now I qualify for accommodations in school that make it so I don't have to do things that make me uncomfortable and affect my education. The bad news is I just got diagnosed with social anxiety disorder :lol:

[Catmatic Leftist]

Prove her wrong about communism. That's all you need to do.

^^Exactly this; when she comes to her senses, set the record straight. If she refuses to listen to reason, then oh well, you know for a fact that a relationship with her probably wouldn't have been worth your time, even though I won't deny it'll still sting for a little bit.

I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, A Revolutionary Tool. It makes me worry that this will happen to me with a future significant other. I get a lot of anti-commie propaganda around here, and it's fucking ILLINOIS for crying out loud. If you get that kind of reaction in California, then I don't know what to expect. I'd expect that in the Bible Belt South, but not California. I love being proven wrong sometimes. :)

[Die Rote Fahne]

So yeah, sorry to hear that she reacted that way. All it takes is a conversation if she seriously wants the relationship. She doesn't have to become a communist, but you can set the record straight on the matter. If you need help in starting or conducting the discussion, we could probably give you a few points to bring up.

If things don't work out, it will hurt, but know that if you spent longer with her, it would hurt more. Can you really imagine being with someone who is actively an anti-communist like that? I hate when I have to put up with jokes from people i barely know, I can't imagine if my girlfriend was that way.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Ah,so earlier today one of my old teachers replied to my email;I sent her a little message which said what I was up to and my essays from my ENG101 class.She said that she was proud of me for acing my first college level class and that I should feel free to keep her updated on my happenings.She also recommended a book which I just ordered.

I really like her;she was my first teacher whom I really bonded with and had things in common with on a personal level.She is progressive and was a student radical from the seventies.She loves Che Guevara and was thrilled when she read my essays;I suppose among the mass of students she teaches it is rare to find someone who is dedicated to learning.

Well,I stayed with her class for a few semesters and continued to write awesome bits.All good things must come to an end though and eventually I decided to take my G.E.D test.Before I went to take it she surprised me on the day of the test by giving me a piece of fruit and a old pin from her college days that said "I read banned books" and had the words 'Clockwork Orange.' It was a heart warming moment.

Well,I took the test and passed with flying colors but still continued to go to her class for a little while simply because I so enjoyed writing and being with her personality.However,as the semester dragged on events began to complicate and I was forced to stop going to her classes without telling her anything (this was around the time my friend and I were going around the neighborhood cleaning up trash).

Fast forward beyond my college class and I finally got around to emailing her.She said her part and I will probably go to her class again every now and then simply to catch up and see how things are.

However,I feel in a generous mood,so before I go back I have decided to give her a small present. I have decided that I will buy her a book which she never got around to buying.I have chosen to but her "Che" by John Lee Anderson.I found a cheap copy for just $8.I also have ordered some cool communist pins which she might get a kick out of wearing one.

Normally I wouldn't do such things for people but I want to be spontaneous and give her something which I think she will love,so in a couple weeks I will look forward to going back to her class and giving her my small surprise.

lol...weird monologue I know.

[Die Rote Fahne]

Ah,so earlier today one of my old teachers replied to my email;I sent her a little message which said what I was up to and my essays from my ENG101 class.She said that she was proud of me for acing my first college level class and that I should feel free to keep her updated on my happenings.She also recommended a book which I just ordered.

I really like her;she was my first teacher whom I really bonded with and had things in common with on a personal level.She is progressive and was a student radical from the seventies.She loves Che Guevara and was thrilled when she read my essays;I suppose among the mass of students she teaches it is rare to find someone who is dedicated to learning.

Well,I stayed with her class for a few semesters and continued to write awesome bits.All good things must come to an end though and eventually I decided to take my G.E.D test.Before I went to take it she surprised me on the day of the test by giving me a piece of fruit and a old pin from her college days that said "I read banned books" and had the words 'Clockwork Orange.' It was a heart warming moment.

Well,I took the test and passed with flying colors but still continued to go to her class for a little while simply because I so enjoyed writing and being with her personality.However,as the semester dragged on events began to complicate and I was forced to stop going to her classes without telling her anything (this was around the time my friend and I were going around the neighborhood cleaning up trash).

Fast forward beyond my college class and I finally got around to emailing her.She said her part and I will probably go to her class again every now and then simply to catch up and see how things are.

However,I feel in a generous mood,so before I go back I have decided to give her a small present. I have decided that I will buy her a book which she never got around to buying.I have chosen to but her "Che" by John Lee Anderson.I found a cheap copy for just $8.I also have ordered some cool communist pins which she might get a kick out of wearing one.

Normally I wouldn't do such things for people but I want to be spontaneous and give her something which I think she will love,so in a couple weeks I will look forward to going back to her class and giving her my small surprise.

lol...weird monologue I know.

This made me smile :)

[Mythbuster]

Ah,so earlier today one of my old teachers replied to my email;I sent her a little message which said what I was up to and my essays from my ENG101 class.She said that she was proud of me for acing my first college level class and that I should feel free to keep her updated on my happenings.She also recommended a book which I just ordered.

I really like her;she was my first teacher whom I really bonded with and had things in common with on a personal level.She is progressive and was a student radical from the seventies.She loves Che Guevara and was thrilled when she read my essays;I suppose among the mass of students she teaches it is rare to find someone who is dedicated to learning.

Well,I stayed with her class for a few semesters and continued to write awesome bits.All good things must come to an end though and eventually I decided to take my G.E.D test.Before I went to take it she surprised me on the day of the test by giving me a piece of fruit and a old pin from her college days that said "I read banned books" and had the words 'Clockwork Orange.' It was a heart warming moment.

Well,I took the test and passed with flying colors but still continued to go to her class for a little while simply because I so enjoyed writing and being with her personality.However,as the semester dragged on events began to complicate and I was forced to stop going to her classes without telling her anything (this was around the time my friend and I were going around the neighborhood cleaning up trash).

Fast forward beyond my college class and I finally got around to emailing her.She said her part and I will probably go to her class again every now and then simply to catch up and see how things are.

However,I feel in a generous mood,so before I go back I have decided to give her a small present. I have decided that I will buy her a book which she never got around to buying.I have chosen to but her "Che" by John Lee Anderson.I found a cheap copy for just $8.I also have ordered some cool communist pins which she might get a kick out of wearing one.

Normally I wouldn't do such things for people but I want to be spontaneous and give her something which I think she will love,so in a couple weeks I will look forward to going back to her class and giving her my small surprise.

lol...weird monologue I know.

Interesting. It is always nice to be able to bond with a teacher so you can talk with that person. Let us know how it goes.

[pax et aequalitas]

This made me smile :)

Exactly the same reaction here :p

And damn that teacher seems pretty awesome..

[Quail]

I left the house without my phone and only realised when I got to uni. Hello crippling anxiety.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Exactly the same reaction here :p

And damn that teacher seems pretty awesome..

She is pretty awesome.Not a socialist to my knowledge but she nonetheless remains a great supporter of progressive causes.

In my state a group called Code:Pink is active in some protests and fundraiser type of events so I am considering trying to talk her into going with me.I think it would be a good thing to do with a friend (sure,I am 19 and she is...uhh...at least 60,but age never has meant anything to me).

lol...Ah,I still remember the first time she said that she loved my Che sweatshirt;from there everything is history.

[thriller]

My girlfriend and I just got in a fight I'm so pissed off right now. We were about to go somewhere so she comes over to my house. I'm getting ready and I invite her into my room for the first time and while I'm putting my shoes on she notices Capital Vol. 1 sitting on my shelf and my copy has "Karl Marx" written in pretty big letters on the spine. So she asks me "This book is by Karl Marx?" I'm like yeah it is. She asks me why I would read a book by Marx. Kind of awkward moment and I don't want to just say "I'm a communist" so I tell her I'm intrigued by his writings. Her response was "so you're a Marxist". I told her that I really don't like labeling myself as such, but that yeah I guess I am. It wasn't even really a fight, it was more like her yelling at me about some nonsense while I'm trying to calmly tell her she needs to calm the fuck down. Doesn't really work, she runs out of my house, drives away, and now she won't answer her phone. WHAT THE FUCK!

Like I'm just really shocked right now, I don't know what the fuck to say or think, really caught me off guard. God damn this pisses me off so badly right now.

Fuck man, sorry to hear about that. Not much advice other than to hang in there and keep true to yourself.

[PhoenixAsh]

Anybody hear from Landsharks eat metal??

[Welshy]

So I just got my first pay-check last friday (well technically second, but fuck the UMass bureaucracy) and I noticed that I've only made $288 for the month. I live off campus, so I have to pay for food, electricity, internet, gas money (I don't have a car, but two of my roommates do) and for some fun at least once a month. And $288 dollars a month won't cover that (my family is helping me out with rent, thank god) and I can't get more hours because aren't that many hours available and those that do exist I can't take because they conflict with my classes or they are at time when the buses aren't running. In other words, fuck the minimum wage and fuck the dining halls for not having flexible enough hours so I can actually make enough money to live on.

Also hopefully I'll be able to start going to therapy for my depression and anxiety problems. I would like to thank praxis1966 for the help they have been giving me.

[Leftsolidarity]

So I just got my first pay-check last friday (well technically second, but fuck the UMass bureaucracy) and I noticed that I've only made $288 for the month. I live off campus, so I have to pay for food, electricity, internet, gas money (I don't have a car, but two of my roommates do) and for some fun at least once a month. And $288 dollars a month won't cover that (my family is helping me out with rent, thank god) and I can't get more hours because aren't that many hours available and those that do exist I can't take because they conflict with my classes or they are at time when the buses aren't running. In other words, fuck the minimum wage and fuck the dining halls for not having flexible enough hours so I can actually make enough money to live on.

Also hopefully I'll be able to start going to therapy for my depression and anxiety problems. I would like to thank praxis1966 for the help they have been giving me.

I don't know what kind of "culture" you associate with but if I was having problems like that I would spange or do street music or something like that. If you save it up you should atleast get your fun once a month.

[pastradamus]

Today I became a published author. And it sucks.

The municipality had an anthology project, and I sent in a small novella. It was published, and the book turned out really neat. However, I can't help but consider my contribution absolutely awful. Damn you, crippingly self-doubt, damn you.


No artist ever appreciated his masterpiece.

[Welshy]

I don't know what kind of "culture" you associate with but if I was having problems like that I would spange or do street music or something like that. If you save it up you should atleast get your fun once a month.

Unfortunately, I can't play any instruments and for various reasons begging isn't a good idea for me. Plus none of the people who I see do that don't stay in my town for very long, so I don't think people are very generous here. I wish my roommates drank more pop so i could take back the cans lol.

[Susurrus]

Unfortunately, I can't play any instruments and for various reasons begging isn't a good idea for me. Plus none of the people who I see do that don't stay in my town for very long, so I don't think people are very generous here. I wish my roommates drank more pop so i could take back the cans lol.

You can usually find some way to make money from scrap metal, and dumpster diving is an evergreen resource.

[xub3rn00dlex]

Welshy, how many hours a week do you work? I know how hard it is going through school and work at the same time man, I'm in the same boat as you.

[Welshy]

You can usually find some way to make money from scrap metal, and dumpster diving is an evergreen resource.

Now I think of it, there should really be a thread in the DIY & Mutual Aid forum, since I know I'm probably not the only one in this situation.

[Welshy]

Welshy, how many hours a week do you work? I know how hard it is going through school and work at the same time man, I'm in the same boat as you.

I work 12hrs a week. It was all that was available.

[Mythbuster]

My friend died yesterday. He was only 16. My parents are also going through a divorice. I can literally put a bullet through my head!!

[TheGodlessUtopian]

My friend died yesterday. He was only 16. My parents are also going through a divorice. I can literally put a bullet through my head!!

Please don't sweets.Things will get better eventually.:)

[xub3rn00dlex]

I work 12hrs a week. It was all that was available.

That sucks man, I'm doing 24 hours a week. Once they lay the taxes out it makes you want to riot. Scrap metaling is a great idea, especially if you have connections to those in construction firms. We dispose of a lot of metal and copper, especially during the beginning of job sites when demolition is taking place. You could also try doing some crafting, like painting consoles and what not, I know I've seen controllers on ebay floating around for $80 just because they were gold painted lol.

[Mythbuster]

Please don't sweets.Things will get better eventually.:)

I'm sure it will, but as of now, I fail to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

:((

[Welshy]

That sucks man, I'm doing 24 hours a week. Once they lay the taxes out it makes you want to riot. Scrap metaling is a great idea, especially if you have connections to those in construction firms. We dispose of a lot of metal and copper, especially during the beginning of job sites when demolition is taking place. You could also try doing some crafting, like painting consoles and what not, I know I've seen controllers on ebay floating around for $80 just because they were gold painted lol.

I'll keep an eye out for scrap metal if I see any, but since I'm pretty much the definition of an unskilled laborer (I have no artistic talents, can't weld, know almost nothing about programming/computers and etc.), I'm probably am just going to look to see if I can at least pick up another shift.

[Metacomet]

I usually get at most 16 hours a week. But now I'm on the crap list so................we'll see.:rolleyes:

God damn I cannot wait to go back to school and hopefully get a T.A job or a library job. A year till I start graduate school (hopefully a Masters in Library Science combined with a Masters in History, if I get into that program) if not a regular MLS. I love school so much more then the retail world. I feel like my brain is dissolving.

[Catmatic Leftist]

Anybody hear from Landsharks eat metal??

Yea, I was wondering where she went; it's been a while since she logged on and she mentioned hurting herself in this thread.

I'm concerned.

[PhoenixAsh]

Yeah me too. no idea what happened.

[ellipsis]

Yea, I was wondering where she went; it's been a while since she logged on and she mentioned hurting herself in this thread.

I'm concerned.

I sent her an email, at least to the one she used to register. I just told her folks were concerned, and that I hoped she was well.

[thriller]

I usually get at most 16 hours a week. But now I'm on the crap list so................we'll see.:rolleyes:

God damn I cannot wait to go back to school and hopefully get a T.A job or a library job. A year till I start graduate school (hopefully a Masters in Library Science combined with a Masters in History, if I get into that program) if not a regular MLS. I love school so much more then the retail world. I feel like my brain is dissolving.

I hear ya. I'm back in school and it totally beats hauling rocks all day :P I think I might be going for history too, what area/specialty are you going for?

[Smyg]

GODDAMMIT.

If you're going to test how much I love you and how much I can be trusted, please don't do it by revealing some horrible action of yours and make me believe you did it. Dammit.

[PhoenixAsh]

I am falling hard for a girl whom I barely know, is not really my type and which causes a great friendship with another girl to start disintegrating.....and on top of that I forgot how fucking annoying those butterflies were and I have a hard time dealing with them.

Thats all.

[Die Rote Fahne]

GODDAMMIT.

If you're going to test how much I love you and how much I can be trusted, please don't do it by revealing some horrible action of yours and make me believe you did it. Dammit.

Reminds me of my ex... What'd she/he say they did dude? If you don't mind saying, of course.

[Smyg]

It's, uhm, hard to describe the situation properly, but let's just say this would-be truth involved an ex, a distinct lack of clothes and a large amount of broken trusts and promises. I wasn't all too amused when the 'prank' was revealed. :glare:

The things I do for love...

[thriller]

Does anyone else get completely consumed by nostalgia and hindsight sometimes? I will get totally pissed at myself for looking back on life and saying 'Ohh I should have done that" or "Those times were the best" and get really depressed and pissed at myself for knowing I can't go back and I did the wrong thing. Blahhhhh

[Decolonize The Left]

Does anyone else get completely consumed by nostalgia and hindsight sometimes? I will get totally pissed at myself for looking back on life and saying 'Ohh I should have done that" or "Those times were the best" and get really depressed and pissed at myself for knowing I can't go back and I did the wrong thing. Blahhhhh

No, no I don't. Even the greatest mistakes of my life have contributed to the person I am today. I couldn't be who I am now if I didn't learn from what I did then - good or bad. I guess a better question for you would be, are you comfortable/happy with who you are now?

- August

[Leftsolidarity]

Does anyone else get completely consumed by nostalgia and hindsight sometimes? I will get totally pissed at myself for looking back on life and saying 'Ohh I should have done that" or "Those times were the best" and get really depressed and pissed at myself for knowing I can't go back and I did the wrong thing. Blahhhhh

All day erry day

[Landsharks eat metal]

Hi everyone. Thanks for your concern. I'm sorry I worried you all. I was in the hospital for a week to take care of my depression, and I wasn't allowed access to a computer. I just got discharged; now I'm feeling a lot better :)

[Catmatic Leftist]

Hi everyone. Thanks for your concern. I'm sorry I worried you all. I was in the hospital for a week to take care of my depression, and I wasn't allowed access to a computer. I just got discharged; now I'm feeling a lot better :)

Phew! I was worried for a moment that we lost you. :(

Glad to see that you're back. :)

[Smyg]

Great to see that you're alright. :)

[Welshy]

Does anyone else get completely consumed by nostalgia and hindsight sometimes? I will get totally pissed at myself for looking back on life and saying 'Ohh I should have done that" or "Those times were the best" and get really depressed and pissed at myself for knowing I can't go back and I did the wrong thing. Blahhhhh

Like leftsolidarity said, "All day erry day"

[bietan jarrai]

Does anyone else get completely consumed by nostalgia and hindsight sometimes? I will get totally pissed at myself for looking back on life and saying 'Ohh I should have done that" or "Those times were the best" and get really depressed and pissed at myself for knowing I can't go back and I did the wrong thing. Blahhhhh


All day erry day

Yup. Especially when I look back at how much of a great fucking time I was having at x place x time with x people and how fucking boring and grey my life is right now. And when I think of things I should have done and didn't.

[Obs]

Great, just when I was starting to forget her I have to have a dream about her. Fuck everything, man.

[Welshy]

For past couple of weeks, I seem to be pretty on edge. Like when I'm in a good mood it's somewhat unstable and doesn't take a lot to make me either rather annoyed or really depressed. And with in the past two days I have had this very intense feeling of anxiety. In my phonetics lab, the feeling was intense that i felt like I wanted to rip my hair out and leave the room. As I speak right now, the feeling is really overwhelming.

Also lately my girlfriend has been going on and on about how she finds this guy at our university rather attractive and how this girl here on exchange from Japan is really hot and how she gets nervous when she talks tries to talk to her. This personally bothers me quite a bit and when she talks like this, I feel less like her boyfriend and more like a friend of hers that just has a large crush on her but with out much hope of ever being in a relationship with her. I really want to tell her how I feel about this but I don't want to come off as controlling.

[xub3rn00dlex]

For past couple of weeks, I seem to be pretty on edge. Like when I'm in a good mood it's somewhat unstable and doesn't take a lot to make me either rather annoyed or really depressed. And with in the past two days I have had this very intense feeling of anxiety. In my phonetics lab, the feeling was intense that i felt like I wanted to rip my hair out and leave the room. As I speak right now, the feeling is really overwhelming.

Also lately my girlfriend has been going on and on about how she finds this guy at our university rather attractive and how this girl here on exchange from Japan is really hot and how she gets nervous when she talks tries to talk to her. This personally bothers me quite a bit and when she talks like this, I feel less like her boyfriend and more like a friend of hers that just has a large crush on her but with out much hope of ever being in a relationship with her. I really want to tell her how I feel about this but I don't want to come off as controlling.

Try to talk it out with her. Otherwise, how are you going to feel when you might of had the chance to prevent things from falling apart and didn't take it? Talking things out works wonders my friend, as long as you both can remain calm and collected no matter how heavy your emotions are and how hard they're pulling in every direction. Being a best friend is great, but it's a huge fucking downgrade from being her partner... trust me. You're going to feel worse after and doubt a lot of things if you don't at least take the chance now to fix things. It's not controlling unless you demand she stops talking to both people lol. You're hurting, and you want things to work, I fail to see how that would be you controlling her.

[Welshy]

Try to talk it out with her. Otherwise, how are you going to feel when you might of had the chance to prevent things from falling apart and didn't take it? Talking things out works wonders my friend, as long as you both can remain calm and collected no matter how heavy your emotions are and how hard they're pulling in every direction. Being a best friend is great, but it's a huge fucking downgrade from being her partner... trust me. You're going to feel worse after and doubt a lot of things if you don't at least take the chance now to fix things. It's not controlling unless you demand she stops talking to both people lol. You're hurting, and you want things to work, I fail to see how that would be you controlling her.


yeah, I'm going to try to find time to talk to her, but she's been really stressed out and like me she has quite of a lot of problems with anxiety. So I need to find a time when she is doing better.

Also last night she told me how her manager (she also works at one of the dining commons at my university) has been sexually harassing her and so has one of her male coworkers (though to a lesser extent). She said she is worried about getting him in trouble, but she said that she almost wants to quit working there because of him. To those who have experience with this situation, what can I do to help her?

[xub3rn00dlex]

yeah, I'm going to try to find time to talk to her, but she's been really stressed out and like me she has quite of a lot of problems with anxiety. So I need to find a time when she is doing better.

Also last night she told me how her manager (she also works at one of the dining commons at my university) has been sexually harassing her and so has one of her male coworkers (though to a lesser extent). She said she is worried about getting him in trouble, but she said that she almost wants to quit working there because of him. To those who have experience with this situation, what can I do to help her?

I've personally intimidated guys who've given my ex problems before, but then again I am a bigger guy myself, and am known not to fuck around. It depends on how seriously people take you, and how well you're connected. I've never bothered with reporting things to authority because the procedures just bury the problems. In your uni she could complain to the highest authority, but be wary of all the lower authority because they might dumb down the situation and actually make things worse by leaking information. You can also get the piggies involved, although she might be required to have evidence of the harassment. She could record it occurring can she not?

[Kitty_Paine]

I am falling hard for a girl whom I barely know, is not really my type and which causes a great friendship with another girl to start disintegrating.....and on top of that I forgot how fucking annoying those butterflies were and I have a hard time dealing with them.

Thats all.

Did you want some advise hindsight?

Or were you simply venting a little...?

[Bright Banana Beard]

It's hard to invite girl friends, most of their boyfriends is extremely jealous type. just wow...

[NoOneIsIllegal]

I love my girlfriend, but sometimes I get worried my extreme-poverty will strain our relationship. I almost never have spare cash, whereas she's been saving her paychecks the last 7 years so she's fine. She says it's okay if we don't go out all the time, and it's okay to just stay at home and watch a movie, or go on a walk, or do something cheap. She never seems to have a problem with that stuff, but IDK, I guess I just worry. I've known her for about 6 years and she's a very straight-forward person, not a liar or anything like that, so I know she means it... I just worry too much. I want to give her the world and always surprise her with presents or do something nice for her, but my finances barely allow me to take her out to a cheap dinner once a month :blushing: :(
(I recently had to sell all my vinyl albums and a portion of my video-game collection just to stay afloat)

I fucking hate wage slavery. Thanks, capitalism.

Oh well, we're both super happy with each other and other aspects of life. Just wish I could do more.

[Luisrah]

I love my girlfriend, but sometimes I get worried my extreme-poverty will strain our relationship. I almost never have spare cash, whereas she's been saving her paychecks the last 7 years so she's fine. She says it's okay if we don't go out all the time, and it's okay to just stay at home and watch a movie, or go on a walk, or do something cheap. She never seems to have a problem with that stuff, but IDK, I guess I just worry. I've known her for about 6 years and she's a very straight-forward person, not a liar or anything like that, so I know she means it... I just worry too much. I want to give her the world and always surprise her with presents or do something nice for her, but my finances barely allow me to take her out to a cheap dinner once a month :blushing: :(
(I recently had to sell all my vinyl albums and a portion of my video-game collection just to stay afloat)

I fucking hate wage slavery. Thanks, capitalism.

Oh well, we're both super happy with each other and other aspects of life. Just wish I could do more.

You know what they say, what counts is the intention.
I get what you're saying, but something that comes from your heart will reach her heart much easier than if it comes from your purse.
Making her something beautiful, it doesn't have to involve money.
Write a song for her, a poem, draw her portrait, I don't know, something she might like. Money's not really the problem

But I'm sure you know all that

[Metacomet]

I hear ya. I'm back in school and it totally beats hauling rocks all day :P I think I might be going for history too, what area/specialty are you going for?


I'm not sure exactly what I'd do for my thesis. I need to learn Spanish to be able to follow my main interests, but I'd also be interested in doing something involving Native American history (that's if I do a History masters, not sure yet.)

[NoOneIsIllegal]

I'm not sure exactly what I'd do for my thesis. I need to learn Spanish to be able to follow my main interests, but I'd also be interested in doing something involving Native American history (that's if I do a History masters, not sure yet.)
Translating for big corporations is mad money.

You know what they say, what counts is the intention.
I get what you're saying, but something that comes from your heart will reach her heart much easier than if it comes from your purse.
Making her something beautiful, it doesn't have to involve money.
Write a song for her, a poem, draw her portrait, I don't know, something she might like. Money's not really the problem

But I'm sure you know all that
Thanks. I know what you mean. I'm not too creative, but I occasionally take my shot at surprising her with something. It's a struggle with me and my creativity, but in the end it works out :) Practice makes perfection?

[Metacomet]

Translating for big corporations is mad money.


Yea, I need Spanish for my history studies (and because it would be useful in day to day life) but that would be a helpful bonus :D I have a friend who translates meetings

[PhoenixAsh]

Holy freaking fuck! I fall for it every fucking time. Girl tells me she likes me...then spends the whole evening persuading me to come to the bar...I ge there she ignores me. I want to go...she says she wants me. Then tells me later she doesn't want to give me hope. I go home...she follows me and tells me she wants me...then says she doesn't know.

You know what....sit on it....I am worth more than this shit.

[Smyg]

It seems I am about to receive a horrible revelation. Over facebook. Oh the joy. Expect me to be either relieved or devastated within minutes.

Edit: Oh thank god. Result: Relieved. Turned out to be emotional scarring, but nothing too awful.

[Salyut]

I've been depressed for the last week. Kept real quiet irl and on the internets. Dunno why - I got papers to work on and shit...and the motivation just isn't there.

Classes are real fun though. I'd brought up bi-invisibility in one discussion and it led to:

Everyone else: "Male bisexuals...err...I don't know any...They're kinda rare I think..."
Me: "...hi"
AwesomeGirl: "OMGOMGYOULIKEBOTHYAY" *highfive*

Made my day. :cool:

[Leftsolidarity]

Classes are real fun though. I'd brought up bi-invisibility in one discussion and it led to:

Everyone else: "Male bisexuals...err...I don't know any...They're kinda rare I think..."
Me: "...hi"
AwesomeGirl: "OMGOMGYOULIKEBOTHYAY" *highfive*

Made my day. :cool:

Hahaha I have had stuff like that happen to me a few times too!

Like one time I was in an argument with a homophobe and he was saying how homosexual and bi-sexual males only hit on guys and they are creepy and blah blah blah. Then I was like: "Oh. By the way do you find me creepy at all?"
Asshole: "No, why?"
Me: "Well I'm bi-sexual so I figured I must creep you out or something."
Asshole::glare:

Then this girl walked over and gave me a hug cuz she thought that was funny. 'Tis a good feeling.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Does anyone else get completely consumed by nostalgia and hindsight sometimes? I will get totally pissed at myself for looking back on life and saying 'Ohh I should have done that" or "Those times were the best" and get really depressed and pissed at myself for knowing I can't go back and I did the wrong thing. Blahhhhh
The problem I have is I'm totally nostalgic about the days where I was doing shit that probably would have totally fucked up my life forever. But I sit here bored as fuck not doing anything with my life and I think "at least in those days I was living life like a crazy person saying 'fuck the world' and having fun going in a downwards spiral, now I'm trying to be better and it all sucks going in a downwards spiral."

[Quail]

Hahaha I have had stuff like that happen to me a few times too!

Like one time I was in an argument with a homophobe and he was saying how homosexual and bi-sexual males only hit on guys and they are creepy and blah blah blah. Then I was like: "Oh. By the way do you find me creepy at all?"
Asshole: "No, why?"
Me: "Well I'm bi-sexual so I figured I must creep you out or something."
Asshole::glare:

Then this girl walked over and gave me a hug cuz she thought that was funny. 'Tis a good feeling.
I don't understand why homophobes think that all gay/bi people fancy them. It's not like they fancy EVERYONE of their preferred gender.

Also I really don't get why everyone thinks bisexuals are more likely to cheat on their partner. People say it surprisingly often and it's a bit offensive. Finding both men and women attractive doesn't make me more promiscuous and unable to commit to someone I care about. I think it comes from their own insecurities more than anything, but it bothers me.

[leftace53]

My bunny had to move because I became allergic to her, I got my heart broken for the second time by the same asshole, my friend decided that I'm not worth spending time with, and I only just got off my depression meds.

Le sad mode.

[thriller]

My bunny had to move because I became allergic to her, I got my heart broken for the second time by the same asshole, my friend decided that I'm not worth spending time with, and I only just got off my depression meds.

Le sad mode.

Sorry about that. I have had three rabbits, but had to give one up because I couldn't take care of it, so I know how your feeling. Hopefully your heart won't get broken for the third time by the same asshat.

[thriller]

I don't understand why homophobes think that all gay/bi people fancy them. It's not like they fancy EVERYONE of their preferred gender.

Also I really don't get why everyone thinks bisexuals are more likely to cheat on their partner. People say it surprisingly often and it's a bit offensive. Finding both men and women attractive doesn't make me more promiscuous and unable to commit to someone I care about. I think it comes from their own insecurities more than anything, but it bothers me.

I know people that are bi that cheat, but I know plenty of straight people who do too. From my own encounters, it is like you said, people who are insecure or don't care cheat.

[bietan jarrai]

I have a fucking headache, I think I like someone, and I couldn't give three fucks about highschool. Fuck this shit.

[Leftsolidarity]

I don't understand why homophobes think that all gay/bi people fancy them. It's not like they fancy EVERYONE of their preferred gender.



Inflated egos haha
Do straight males like every female? No. So why would homosexual males like every male? It's stupid.


Also I really don't get why everyone thinks bisexuals are more likely to cheat on their partner. People say it surprisingly often and it's a bit offensive. Finding both men and women attractive doesn't make me more promiscuous and unable to commit to someone I care about. I think it comes from their own insecurities more than anything, but it bothers me.

Agreed, I've never cheated and I hold very strongly against cheating even as a bi-sexual. It is simply people seeing something out of the norm and trying to demonize and isolate it. I get into shit at school about this stuff literally on a daily basis.

[Bright Banana Beard]

Not my problem if you feel hurt when I don't say hello.

Well, I'm fucking here and you coulda say hello, but nooooooooooooo. You need to feel validated from me, right? Boohoo. Well excuse me, I need to do something.

Otherwise don't give me shit to do that is generally wasting my time.

And no, I am not referring to any of you here. If you find this offensive, go cry in the corner and come back feeling better.

[Quail]

My bunny had to move because I became allergic to her, I got my heart broken for the second time by the same asshole, my friend decided that I'm not worth spending time with, and I only just got off my depression meds.

Le sad mode.
Welcome back leftace :)
Sounds like a shitty situation. What actually happened with your friend? I just ask because when I'm already going through a bad time I tend to "mind read" and take bits of circumstantial evidence and build them up to convince myself that people think I'm a loser and don't want to hang out with me.

[Landsharks eat metal]

Today is National Coming Out Day, and I feel like I'm totally lame for not having the courage to do anything for it, so here's the next best thing. I'm trans. My gender is kind of weird; I don't really know what it is... almost a transguy, but not exactly, but I definitely wish I could appear more masculine.

Okay, there. I did something. That helps me feel less weak.:)

[#FF0000]

I've been having this strange pain in my leg. Joint pain in my hip, knee, and ankle with like a shooting pain from knee to ankle every so often. It's dull and only slightly annoying. But I'm terrified that it might be neuropathy and that I might have developed diabetes.

[leftace53]

I've been having this strange pain in my leg. Joint pain in my hip, knee, and ankle with like a shooting pain from knee to ankle every so often. It's dull and only slightly annoying. But I'm terrified that it might be neuropathy and that I might have developed diabetes.
Join the club.
My pain usually occurs from knee to hip though, ankle pain is usually independent.
My doctor's been saying that its "growing pains" for about 8 years or so now.

[leftace53]

Welcome back leftace :)
Sounds like a shitty situation. What actually happened with your friend? I just ask because when I'm already going through a bad time I tend to "mind read" and take bits of circumstantial evidence and build them up to convince myself that people think I'm a loser and don't want to hang out with me.

Well long story short, he got a girlfriend.
That wouldn't normally be a problem (why would I care who he's fucking), but he lied about this to me for a good 2 months, then he refused to let me meet her and told me that we shouldn't be friends anymore. cue suicide attempt number who knows what (perpetrated by various other things as well). Then he decided that he wants to be friends again for a little while, and after much conversation we came up with times of hangouts. He has canceled atleast 90% of these hangouts because his girlfriend (at the relatively last minute) decides she wants to see him.
Basically he is a poopyhead with a declared hierarchy: hoes before "bros"

:crying:

Apologies for the double post.

[Lobotomy]

Fuck it, I'm out of here at the end of the quarter. My roommates don't give a shit about making the place feel like a home and it makes me uneasy. They eat in their rooms and avoid communication as much as possible. And they make fish sticks that make the apartment smell like shit. Also, someone ate my pudding, and they each told me that they didn't do it, which means that I live with someone who is apparently okay with lying to my face. Off to craislist I go...

maybe I'll find a house where they have a cat :)

[TheGodlessUtopian]

Today is National Coming Out Day, and I feel like I'm totally lame for not having the courage to do anything for it, so here's the next best thing. I'm trans. My gender is kind of weird; I don't really know what it is... almost a transguy, but not exactly, but I definitely wish I could appear more masculine.

Okay, there. I did something. That helps me feel less weak.:)

Don't sweat it,I didn't come out to anyone on National Coming Out Day either.Somtimes moments just aren't right to tell someone such a powerful revelation;time and your own pacing is far more important.Besides,there is always next year.:)

[¿Que?]

I don't know, I can't call it, basically because I'm a big cissy (get it) but I think I'd be offended if I was gay about the whole NCOD. I mean, some people have families and freinds that will not understand, people they may depend on one way or another, or people that depend on them, it's complicated, I think, but to put that kind of pressure on people, like I imagine NCOD does, I think is a bit irresponsible. Who the fuck organized that, I mean, it smells of Dan Savage.

[leftace53]

Fuck it, I'm out of here at the end of the quarter. My roommates don't give a shit about making the place feel like a home and it makes me uneasy. They eat in their rooms and avoid communication as much as possible. And they make fish sticks that make the apartment smell like shit. Also, someone ate my pudding, and they each told me that they didn't do it, which means that I live with someone who is apparently okay with lying to my face. Off to craislist I go...

maybe I'll find a house where they have a cat :)

This sounds oddly like where I used to live. I used to buy bananas and mayonnaise only to find them missing within a couple days. I also found our microwave missing one time, and a creepy old man with a dog trying to get into my room while I tried to sleep (don't worry, I locked the door when I slept).

[xub3rn00dlex]

Fuck it, I'm out of here at the end of the quarter. My roommates don't give a shit about making the place feel like a home and it makes me uneasy. They eat in their rooms and avoid communication as much as possible. And they make fish sticks that make the apartment smell like shit. Also, someone ate my pudding, and they each told me that they didn't do it, which means that I live with someone who is apparently okay with lying to my face. Off to craislist I go...

maybe I'll find a house where they have a cat :)

I think you should live with me, I'm like a fucking fridge bodyguard. I've had somebody steal my chobani at work before, and holy shit did I learn new ways to curse people out. I started walking around with a 2x4, and what do you know. My chobani found it's way back to the desk. Don't fuck with my food. :D

[Leftsolidarity]

Just got back from parent teacher confrences (I'm a senior in high school) and for one of the first times that I can recall I have all A's except for 1 B. I'm in classes that I actually enjoy, I'm participating, I'm getting my work done, and I'm staying out of trouble. I feel awesome about it. What made me feel amazing though was that every single one of my teachers said that I was one of their favorite students; they said that I am extremely smart, well mannered (:lol:), an incredible debater/speaker, and one of the most informed students that they have ever had. My economics teacher even said that I know more than him and would love to sit and write a big economics paper with me. In my head I was like "LYK ZOMG DIS IZ SOO AWHSUMZ!!! :D:D:D"

but nah that shit ain't good enough apparently. My dad spent to whole time shitting on me for not planning to go to college and my desire to do community work. He really fucking said that A's weren't good enough because he thinks I took joke classes and am just trying to breeze through my senior year. I mean really, you got to be fucking trying to be THAT much of an asshole to not acknowledge when I am finally doing well and putting out effort. His reaction to all these great comments and grades seems to be the same as when I had straight F's and most of my teachers would kick me out of class and say that I'm "not applying myself". Fuckin' prick.

Sorry for the rant but I'm pissed about that. (but happy about the good things:))

[Landsharks eat metal]

Shit I'm so agitated right now. I'm starting to hate my roommate for existing (and eating chips really loudly) and my neighbors down the hall for being so goddamn loud all the time and I have to write a four-page media analysis paper for tomorrow and memorize a Russian dialogue, but I really just want to sleep because if I don't I feel like I'm going to punch someone and fall break starts after classes end tomorrow and I'm going home, but earlier today I accidentally mixed 2 antihistamines and I think I got a bad reaction from that because I had the same thinig happen to me when they tried to put me on a new drug back when I was in the hospital but I'm worried that that won't go away, which would be terrible because I can't even stay on a path when I walk and I instead start listing off to the left into the grass (which was WET TODAY AND I DON'T WANT TO WALK IN IT) or if I'm inside I run into a wall and can't even stand up straight and people freak out and think I'm going to fall even though I know I won't but I don't really know that and now my most obnoxious hallmate belched really loud and I just want to hurt her :cursing::cursing::cursing: and when they were singing and playing the goddamn ukelele and there's the one girl who sings like she wants everyone to hear her and tell her how great she is but I sing but quietly because I don't want to bother anyone and nobody extends the same courtesy to me.
Fuck.

[Lobotomy]

and when they were singing and playing the goddamn ukelele

where I live there are so many hipsters that walk around trying to play ukuleles all the time. I think it's a trend. :rolleyes:

[Niccolò Rossi]

Trapped like a fucking rat

[leftace53]

I play the ukelele... I have also brought it around with me through my school's campus...
Am I a hipster?

[thefinalmarch]

I play the ukelele... I have also brought it around with me through my school's campus...
Am I a hipster?
Yes.

You were destined to be.

[Quail]

I should really stop using this thread for random bits of anonymous ranting, but I'd rather rant anonymously than have a real conversation with someone because everyone just tells me I'm not fat and I shouldn't feel bad about myself instead of just listening.

I'm really stuck in a stupid rut of eating badly. It seems that I can only stick to my stupid meal plan when I'm with other people. When 'm on my own everything goes to shit and all I do is sit around eating and un-eating an unsustainably large amount of food. I don't even know why. Sometimes I don't even enjoy it or really seem to be getting anything out of it. I'm just on autopilot mode. The days where I've done "well" on the meal plan mean I've gained a little weight and I'm now too scared of the scales to see how much and when I see myself I just want to claw at my flesh and tear it off. I don't know if I'm even making any progress with figuring out what makes my relationship with food and my body so screwed up anyway.

[thriller]

So as some people may know, my girlfriend left a while back. Well she ended up coming back because she ran into some trouble out west, and I was so happy to have her back. And now, she wants to leave again. She always says it's not me, it's her. Well if that's true, why does she keep coming and going? Fuck this. After her, I think I'm going to retire from women for a while.

[thriller]

Well long story short, he got a girlfriend.
That wouldn't normally be a problem (why would I care who he's fucking), but he lied about this to me for a good 2 months, then he refused to let me meet her and told me that we shouldn't be friends anymore. cue suicide attempt number who knows what (perpetrated by various other things as well). Then he decided that he wants to be friends again for a little while, and after much conversation we came up with times of hangouts. He has canceled atleast 90% of these hangouts because his girlfriend (at the relatively last minute) decides she wants to see him.
Basically he is a poopyhead with a declared hierarchy: hoes before "bros"

:crying:

Apologies for the double post.

Fuck that guy! I bet his girlfriend will feel the same as you when he repeats his actions.

[GatesofLenin]

Just got back from parent teacher confrences (I'm a senior in high school) and for one of the first times that I can recall I have all A's except for 1 B. I'm in classes that I actually enjoy, I'm participating, I'm getting my work done, and I'm staying out of trouble. I feel awesome about it. What made me feel amazing though was that every single one of my teachers said that I was one of their favorite students; they said that I am extremely smart, well mannered (:lol:), an incredible debater/speaker, and one of the most informed students that they have ever had. My economics teacher even said that I know more than him and would love to sit and write a big economics paper with me. In my head I was like "LYK ZOMG DIS IZ SOO AWHSUMZ!!! :D:D:D"

but nah that shit ain't good enough apparently. My dad spent to whole time shitting on me for not planning to go to college and my desire to do community work. He really fucking said that A's weren't good enough because he thinks I took joke classes and am just trying to breeze through my senior year. I mean really, you got to be fucking trying to be THAT much of an asshole to not acknowledge when I am finally doing well and putting out effort. His reaction to all these great comments and grades seems to be the same as when I had straight F's and most of my teachers would kick me out of class and say that I'm "not applying myself". Fuckin' prick.

Sorry for the rant but I'm pissed about that. (but happy about the good things:))
Man sorry to hear that Leftsolidarity, don't let your dad's bad attitude get in the way of what you want to do in life. He sounds miserable and we've all had those people around us. GL comrade!

[GatesofLenin]

I should really stop using this thread for random bits of anonymous ranting, but I'd rather rant anonymously than have a real conversation with someone because everyone just tells me I'm not fat and I shouldn't feel bad about myself instead of just listening.

I'm really stuck in a stupid rut of eating badly. It seems that I can only stick to my stupid meal plan when I'm with other people. When 'm on my own everything goes to shit and all I do is sit around eating and un-eating an unsustainably large amount of food. I don't even know why. Sometimes I don't even enjoy it or really seem to be getting anything out of it. I'm just on autopilot mode. The days where I've done "well" on the meal plan mean I've gained a little weight and I'm now too scared of the scales to see how much and when I see myself I just want to claw at my flesh and tear it off. I don't know if I'm even making any progress with figuring out what makes my relationship with food and my body so screwed up anyway.
I've lost over 85 lbs (can't post my original weight on here and my current one because people I chat with will recognize me if I do) and have kept it off after reading a great book called TNT Diet. It will only cost you $7.50 but the healthy plan it explains is so easy to follow and you can eat all your favorite foods as well.

[leftace53]

I have, of late, also been concerned of my weight and general physical appearance (aren't we all after a break up).


So as some people may know, my girlfriend left a while back. Well she ended up coming back because she ran into some trouble out west, and I was so happy to have her back. And now, she wants to leave again. She always says it's not me, it's her. Well if that's true, why does she keep coming and going? Fuck this. After her, I think I'm going to retire from women for a while.

Man, I feel the same way about men. My most recent ex pulled the same kinda shit, changing his mind about me at the drop of a hat saying it's not me, it's him.

Also, I hate this job; there are too many people adversely affected by our awful literacy programs in basic education, and I'm stuck cleaning up the mess. I plan on leaving very very soon.

[Lobotomy]

I play the ukelele... I have also brought it around with me through my school's campus...
Am I a hipster?

Apparently :P

[Susurrus]

I think I just alienated my best friend and romantic interest. Insert Russian swearwords here.

[Luisrah]

Portuguese prime minister just announced huge cuts for next year. I hope it doesn't stop me from going to college.
Not that I even know if I can get in.
As much as I like to play the guitar, you gotta be really good to get in, it's like 4 people only each year.

Jesus what did I get into...

[Crux]

My girlfriend just broke up with me. I feel numb.

[Smyg]

As if life wasn't hard enough yet, I find this thread. :(

[Crux]

She still loves me, but I am not really going anywhere. So yeah. Another thing on my fail list. Fuck.

[Metacomet]

I'm really worried about the GRE test I have coming up.

My studying doesn't seem to be working. I feel like I am being tested on obscure vocabulary words, and math I barely could understand 5 years ago, and certainly can't figure out now after years out of high school.

I am worried because this test is seemingly going to determine so much of my future (good grad school or not)

All my backups are going to school in Canada or SUNY Buffalo, the only school I am interested in in the states that doesn't require it.

Sorry Maj, that's rough. I can't say I really relate as I'm single and never really had a steady partner, but there will be others, and the right one will certainly come.

[thesadmafioso]

She still loves me, but I am not really going anywhere. So yeah. Another thing on my fail list. Fuck.

This is probably the most depressing post in these topics I've read in some time.

Terribly sorry to hear about that, especially after reading your posts about the financial situation you've been caught up in and the stress that it was having on your relationship.

Just try not to put yourself at fault for any of this, it's not something to be put onto any fail list.

[Crux]

This is probably the most depressing post in these topics I've read in some time.

Terribly sorry to hear about that, especially after reading your posts about the financial situation you've been caught up in and the stress that it was having on your relationship.

Just try not to put yourself at fault for any of this, it's not something to be put onto any fail list.
I'm hitting the road on 25th. I had plans, but everything seems so..insignificant now. I'll have some time to get used to this anyhow.

[#FF0000]

She still loves me, but I am not really going anywhere. So yeah. Another thing on my fail list. Fuck.

Fuuuuuuuck that. She did you a favor. Go forward now knowing you aren't wasting your time on a person like this. You'll find someone else, who won't drop you when you find yourself in a rough patch. And by then, she's gonna realize the mistake she made and it'll be too late. You deserve better, guy.

I know things are hard but you got this, dogg.


http://i.imgur.com/eRpR6.jpg

[RHIZOMES]

Too much shit is going on (exam study, summer scholarship application, occupation protests), just had a shitty day with my girlfriend (both woke up on the wrong side of bed... lol) and we were squabbling in front of my family relatives. Too much shit going on and a shit day, ugggghhh.

I have very low levels of energy and focus, I always do best when I focus on one thing and one thing alone, even if it is only in a mental health sense and not an overall positive/negative outcomes sense. I'm sure I'll be fine I just have such a knack for feeling easily overwhelmed, even as I've conquered every mountain I've had to traverse in my post-high school life so far, this uncertainty and anxiety still eats away at me.

Maybe without this anxiety, I wouldn't have as much drive? I dunno.

[thriller]

My girlfriend just broke up with me. I feel numb.

Me and you both man. Try and keep your chin up, that what I keep telling myself.

[Leftsolidarity]

Besides my girlfriend who left me, my band has been my entire life for the past 3 years (my ex-girlfriend is in it too which is awkward). They are my best friends and I view them as my family. I will even be moving in with them at the end of June. I don't know how to describe how strong of a friendship I actually have with them.

Apparently though, they all just started another band together with a different local drummer because I live a few hours away so we only play once a month or so.

I feel so shitty right now. I mean I've had some side projects but it's the entire band only except me. We're a really tight, legit band too and they got a new drummer who, even though a buddy of mine, isn't that great.

Fuck man, these are the kind of nights where I question why I have put myself through so much shit for some of the people in my life and what I am actually going to have for myself in my future.