Kinda sorta not really actually yeah it's another fucking dating thread

[Leftsolidarity]

I'm sure others of you have found yourself in this same situation so I'm wondering what you did and how I could fix my "problem". (btw it helps to keep in mind that I'm only 17 and a senior in highschool) After getting cheated on and dumped from a 2 and a half year relationship with the girl that I am even now desperately in love with, I am finding it difficult to let myself try to be with other people. There are girls/guys who flirt with me who I could probably have sex with and maybe date. I don't really want to be meaninglessly fucking random people and would really like to date someone. Even though I want to date someone I feel like I'm now setting my standards way to high and when I am talking to someone I find myself thinking "Could I date this person for like 3 years and possibly live with?" I don't think that's the fucking thing I should be thinking but it stops me from pursueing it because my answer is always "No" because of this or that. It's fucking stupid and I know it's stupid. I just don't know how to deal with that because I don't want to ignore that and end up dating someone who is totally wrong for me.

This is also coming at a time when I'm thinking I might be bi-sexual maybeeeeeeeeeee. I don't know. Fuckin emotions and hormones man, they suck.

Any stories or advice would be great.

[Lenina Rosenweg]

It sounds like you definitely still have (strong) feelings for the woman who dumped you. These things often take time.You didn't say how long ago your last relationship ended but it may be that you are not fully ready to start dating again.

Everyone is bisexual. Don't sweat that.You are at an age where you are figuring a lot of things out.You may think a guy is hot. Don't worry about it. Could you see yourself in a relationship with a guy? There are no right or wrong answers to this and you don't have to commit yourself to anything.Unfortunately in our society guys get rapidly stereotyped. If you want to pursue something with a guy there are ways around this.

Yeah, when you're 17 hormones and emotions can be very powerful. For what its worth I would say honor your feelings but at the same time don't take it all that seriously.Older people might sneer at first (or second or third) love but it contains emotions which should be honored. At the same time you may want to try to distance yourself.I don't mean to sound trite but try to have fun with what you're going though and try to see the humour in it.

[Leftsolidarity]

It sounds like you definitely still have (strong) feelings for the woman who dumped you. These things often take time.You didn't say how long ago your last relationship ended but it may be that you are not fully ready to start dating again.



It was maybe 2 or so months back.



Everyone is bisexual. Don't sweat that.You are at an age where you are figuring a lot of things out.You may think a guy is hot. Don't worry about it. Could you see yourself in a relationship with a guy? There are no right or wrong answers to this and you don't have to commit yourself to anything.Unfortunately in our society guys get rapidly stereotyped. If you want to pursue something with a guy there are ways around this.


I don't know if I would say everyone is bi-sexual because it's definitely different than before of just maybe thinking some guy is hot. I could see myself dating another guy. Sorta straying from the topic a bit but I guess I'm the topic anyways haha. I am sort of keeping it on the down low for a little while with only a few people like my ex knowing. None of my close friends or people I will be around after highschool are homophobic or anything but I'm worried that coming out as bi-sexual might change things and I definitely never want to be "that gay friend" as like that token bi friend.



Yeah, when you're 17 hormones and emotions can be very powerful. For what its worth I would say honor your feelings but at the same time don't take it all that seriously.Older people might sneer at first (or second or third) love but it contains emotions which should be honored. At the same time you may want to try to distance yourself.I don't mean to sound trite but try to have fun with what you're going though and try to see the humour in it.

Haha I definitely see the pathetic humour of my situation no doubt

[tachosomoza]

I actually subscribe to the notion that everyone has the potential to have bisexual urges. Sexual orientation is a ridiculous construct.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Dude I was just like this. I was in a relationship with a girl for a year and a half and then we broke up. After that I was in like 3 after that, all of which ended pretty early because I couldn't stand them anymore, they were either really boring or annoying or both. After that whenever a girl would be talking to me or I would be talking to her in that flirty way I would be thinking to myself "Could I stand being with her for a year and a half?" So half the time I would just stop there if I didn't think so. I mean yeah sex is fun and good, but I don't want to be in a relationship for that sole purpose.

Incidentally the first time I met this girl that I'm with now(You know the one I'm crazy in love with) I was in a bad mood when she approached me to talk to me and I just thought to myself "Oh my gosh this girl is so damn annoying, I hate you" :laugh:. But then she grew on me and now I'm like :tt1:. So maybe just keep talking to girls even if at first you think you wouldn't like dating them, even just as friends. Get to know someone before you date them, it's always worked out better for me when I do that at least.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

I actually subscribe to the notion that everyone has the potential to have bisexual urges. Sexual orientation is a ridiculous construct.
True dat. I'll admit that sometimes I see other guys and I think to myself "wow he's pretty good looking" although I've never had urges to actually do anything sexual or something like that with them. I mean when I see George Clooney, DAMN, I'm just saying.

[thriller]

As Lenina said, you're 17, hormones will get the best of you at times. I had a somewhat similar situation as you. Senior year of high school I was madly in love with my girlfriend and she dumped me after a year and a half and I felt like shit. The way I got over her was to get rid of anything she gave me or reminded me of her. I know, may sound extreme, but the day after I did that, I felt better. Sometimes you gotta leave the past behind, ya know? Take chances. You are young still, and have plenty of people to meet and hang out with and fall in love with. I know on here most of us take things very seriously due to our view of the world, but when it comes to love, have fun with it. If you don't want to just sleep around with random people, that is fine. I was like that too. My friends would always make fun of me, but whatever. In fact a lot of chicks/guys will be more attracted to you if they know you are not just "in it for the sex".

As far as the bisexual thing goes, fuck it. Take chances. If you see a guy that you like, go after him. If you are worried about your friends and family, fuck 'em, you know if they love you if they stay by your side (I know, easier said then done).

[praxis1966]

For what it's worth, when I was 16 it took me nearly a year to get over my first love... And we only dated for like 3-4 months. :lol: So yeah, relatively speaking, LS, you're not that pathetic.

As for dating, well, I wish I had taken my father's advice back then. Date this person, date that person, but try not to get too serious or pin all your hopes on any one person. I'm not saying you should be shooting for infidelity if as luck would have it you find yourself in a committed relationship sometime in the near future. I'm saying a committed relationship isn't what you should be looking for. Just look for someone you find appealing for whatever reason and have a good time. I never did that at your age; I was basically a serial monogamist and I kind of feel like I caused myself a lot more heartache than necessary...

I've said it before on here and I'll say it again, I don't care what your sexual preference is, nobody under about the age of 24 or so should be looking to for a lifelong partner. Your teens and early twenties should be for dating lots of folks, if for no better reason than you should be trying to figure out by process of elimination what you do and don't want from a partner... Because at your age, nobody, and I mean nobody really knows no matter how much they claim to.