Revealing my beliefs to parents...

[Nox]

I plan to tell my parents about my beliefs, I am kinda nervous because I don't know what to say or how they will react, could anyone help me with what to say?

Also, how did your parents react when you told them?

[Luc]

If they begin to say things like "Communism doesn't work" or "(Soviet) Russia was a horrible place" you could expose their lack of understanding what Communism actually is.

I.e.:
Communism is a classless and statless society, Russia (and others) had a state and some argue classes therefore, they are not example of Communism.

I did that and my mother didn't say anything afterwards.

Recently though I had a small arguement (mutually beneficial no yelling just talking) arguement with my Father who seemed to think that Capitalism has always existsed and always will because it is "expecting a return on your investment".

I am not sure how I will tackle this but perhaps I should (and if somthing like this pops up for you) demonstrate that Capitalism is a distinct society. Engel's Socialism: Scientific and Utpoian could be helpful for me (and you for this if it comes up).

Hope it helps, good luck.:thumbup1:

[Sensible Socialist]

I didn't tell them. It never really came up. Personally, I don't see why people feel the need to outline their political philosophy to their parents. If they ask, sure, tell them. But I don't see a reason why you should feel obligated to sit them down and tell them you're a communist.

[thesadmafioso]

Quite frankly, I don't really see why people feel the need to actively display their communist credentials to family. Family and politics really don't mix well, especially when those politics are communist.

I wouldn't suggest that you try to hide the fact that you are a communist, but you could always let them figure it out of their own accord. By having them initiate the conversation, it just makes for a much more organic process, one preferable to the "Mom, Dad, we need to talk. I.....I am a communist!" sort of approach.

[Nox]

Quite frankly, I don't really see why people feel the need to actively display their communist credentials to family. Family and politics really don't mix well, especially when those politics are communist.

The reason is that I plan to order a load of Communist works, and my parents always check my mail, so I'd rather tell them than have them find out that I'm a closet commie

And also my family is very open and I hate keeping secrets from them. Also, I don't want to feel confident enough to tell people about it

[thesadmafioso]

The reason is that I plan to order a load of Communist works, and my parents always check my mail, so I'd rather tell them than have them find out that I'm a closet commie

And also my family is very open and I hate keeping secrets from them. Also, I don't want to feel confident enough to tell people about it

How many communist works actually sound overtly communist to someone of an average level of political consciousness, minus The Communist Manifesto perhaps? I've told people that I am reading "The State and Revolution" without mentioning an author and received no response at all. You can always justify them as being for historical research or what have you as well.

Though if it's more a matter of not wanting to conceal something from your family, I suppose you could bring it up then. If they are rather open, then I don't know if it would really cause too much of an issue anyway.

You could also go the route of not directly mentioning it and just answer any question they may arise over your selected reading honestly, which would eliminate any need to keep anything from them and make for a situation which would be a good deal less awkward for you.

[Luc]

How many communist works actually sound overtly communist to someone of an average level of political consciousness, minus The Communist Manifesto perhaps? I've told people that I am reading "The State and Revolution" without mentioning an author and received no response at all. You can always justify them as being for historical research or what have you as well.

That is so true. I was reading the State and Revolution from a selected works of Lenin type thing and my friend next to me just said"

"they spellt Lenon wrong, it's with an o not an i":lol:

[Magón]

It's really not that big of a deal, plain and simple. It's not like you're living in some conservative household, where you're coming out of the closet or something, it's just Communism, it's been defeated for the past 20 years.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Maybe it would be better for your parents to find out through them checking your mail, that's how my mom found out I think, and that has meant I didn't have to have an awkward "coming out" talk with her like I did with my athiestic beliefs. She's just accepted it without having to talk to me about it and I like it like that.

[Kamos]

Maybe it would be better for your parents to find out through them checking your mail,

So you imply that having one's mail checked is good? Nah.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

So you imply that having one's mail checked is good? Nah.
No but if they're already checking his mail...

[o well this is ok I guess]

You're a Stalinist.

Don't tell them. Seriously. I mean us here can say "no no no I didn't like Stalin I am not into that" but you cannot say that. You actually have to say you like Stalin. Which means you have to convince them Stalin was right.
I don't mean to presume whether or not he was right, but I can assure attempting to convince your parents he was right is impossible.

[Tablo]

High school Stalinists, don't tell your parents.

[Tim Cornelis]

I'm surprised how many times I've read that parents check their children's e-mails on this forum. What's up with that?

And just order some books and when they ask about it say "well, I'm interested in the idea and I want to know more about it..."

[A Revolutionary Tool]

I'm surprised how many times I've read that parents check their children's e-mails on this forum. What's up with that?

And just order some books and when they ask about it say "well, I'm interested in the idea and I want to know more about it..."
I don't think anybody said emails, we're talking about the mail that shows up in your physical mail box. I don't know about others but when it came to "checking my mail box" it was more along the lines of shifting through the mail and seeing a book by Marx in it and going :confused:

[Aspiring Humanist]

I told my parents The Conquest of Bread was a cook book

[Tablo]

I told my parents The Conquest of Bread was a cook book
Lol, an anarchist cook book.

[Lenina Rosenweg]

To the OP;how you tell your parents might depend a lot on what your parents are like and what their objectiions to communism are. Are they right wing, pro-capitalist? Are they liberal types( "Socialism, well Eugene Debs and Norman Thomas were cool but communism is evil!!, my family is like that). Are they religious? There are radical elements to the teachings of Jesus.

If you have a family where openness is valued I would tell them. Don't try a frontal assault and as strange as this might sound don't start off ideologically. For example don't start off by saying "You know I think Marx, Lenin,Mao, and Stalin were great guys..". You might want to start with talking about the economic crisis. Why is capitalism in crisis? Why is everyone preaching "austerity" when its so obviously the wrong direction? Wait until an opportunity presents itself at the dinner table.

Don't praise Lenin or Stalin right away (I have my own negative opinions of Stalin but that's not relevant now). Talk about Marx.Nouriel Roubini a major bourgeois economist praised Marx recently. Marxists seem to be the only ones who have any explanation for the crisis.

Start with questions. What are alternatives to capitalism? Has society progressed in the past 200 years and if so why? Do "great men" drive history or is it class struggle.

If you're lucky you may at least be able to establish some sort of ongoing dialogue with the 'rents. Worse case scenario they might just think its a stage you're going though.

[Tim Cornelis]

I don't think anybody said emails, we're talking about the mail that shows up in your physical mail box. I don't know about others but when it came to "checking my mail box" it was more along the lines of shifting through the mail and seeing a book by Marx in it and going :confused:

Of course, you're right. Language barrier, in "my country" we use "mail" and "e-mail" exclusively for "electronic mail" hence the confusion.

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

this is what i did

Hey dad, have you ever looked into communism?

he said "yes i have"(he was bullshitting me though, he says he knows everything from highschool:laugh:)"it doesnt work, you know"

etc....



its really easy, if for some stupid reason they hate you for it, tell them to gtfo


oh and a good counter argument is "at least im not facist":tt2:

[Lenina Rosenweg]

The reason is that I plan to order a load of Communist works, and my parents always check my mail, so I'd rather tell them than have them find out that I'm a closet commie

And also my family is very open and I hate keeping secrets from them. Also, I don't want to feel confident enough to tell people about it

If you don't mind reading off a computer screen you can get most of the classics here

http://marxists.org/

[Le Socialiste]

I plan to tell my parents about my beliefs, I am kinda nervous because I don't know what to say or how they will react, could anyone help me with what to say?

Also, how did your parents react when you told them?

Well, where are your parents politically? I'm not saying this should deter you, but it is a good idea to approach the situation with an estimate as to how they'll react. Regardless, just tell them. Explain to them what your beliefs are and why you believe them. Don't let them try to dissuade you, just calmly state your position. Your parents might try to argue with you ("Communism can never work," "Communism died with the SU," etc.) about your beliefs, but you should make clear that while they may disagree with your political stance they should at least respectfully accept it. Kind of a "agree to disagree" type of deal.

I told my parents the day I left the Democratic Party and joined the DSA (which I've since left - for obvious reasons). I was nervous, but I managed to tell them where I stood and why I stood there. I explained to them my beliefs, and while they were very accepting (my dad moreso than my mom) they were also of the opinion that it was just my way of "rebelling" against them. That was roughly three years ago, and I think the fact that I've held fast to my political beliefs (and shifted further and further Left) has surprised my parents. In fact, they've come to respect my position and even begun to ask me more about it. They're even more interested in what I'm reading (my dad wants to read Luxemburg's Reform or Revolution and The Mass Strike when I'm done with them). All in all, I can only tell you to go for it. It's natural to be nervous, revolutionary leftism isn't exactly viewed favorably these days. But it's important that you stick to your guns. Good luck! :)

[Dzerzhinsky's Ghost]

In Soviet Russia, closet comes out of you.

[Zav]

Don't come out. Let them ask. If you tell them you're a Communist like the stereotypical way of telling them you're gay, then it sounds like it's a big deal, and your parents will make a big deal about it. Let them read your mail, and let them ask you why you bought a copy of some Marx. That gives you the advantage, because, if you stay calm, you can easily shrug off the question with something succinct like "Because I'm a Communist." Then it will be they who become the desperate party. You can refute ignorant comments and questions, and when they are spent, you may ask your own of Capitalism. In my experience, this is the best way to do it. You also need to act like it isn't very important nor very relevant. I made a sandwich while debating my parents. It enforced the idea that I knew what I was talking about.

[Kornilios Sunshine]

You just have to start a political conversation then go into capitalism and tell them how awful could it be so to stop this thing you need communism.Wow, Ι guess it is a big advantage for me that my parents are communists.:cool:
Good luck.

EDIT: Only do this if you come across a political conversation.

[Rafiq]

DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT DO THIS.

At best, it will dumb you down. Why? You'll end up spending WEEKS trying to explain to them shit, and once you've done that you'll find yourself forgetful of all the important crap.

It's a headache, it's not worth it, your parents are old and (no offense) wasted their life being politically nihilistic.

There is no reason you should do this, so just don't.

[Luc]

Don't come out. Let them ask. If you tell them you're a Communist like the stereotypical way of telling them you're gay, then it sounds like it's a big deal, and your parents will make a big deal about it. Let them read your mail, and let them ask you why you bought a copy of some Marx. That gives you the advantage, because, if you stay calm, you can easily shrug off the question with something succinct like "Because I'm a Communist." Then it will be they who become the desperate party. You can refute ignorant comments and questions, and when they are spent, you may ask your own of Capitalism. In my experience, this is the best way to do it. You also need to act like it isn't very important nor very relevant. I made a sandwich while debating my parents. It enforced the idea that I knew what I was talking about.

Yeah, thats exactly how it happened for me. I agree with Zav let them ask you first.

To Zav, thanks for the tips they will also help me:thumbup:

[Dzerzhinsky's Ghost]

Telling my parents I'm a Marxist would be like telling my parents I like peri-peri sauce; pointless, stupid and absurd.

[Iron Felix]

What a stupid thing, asking someone why they are a communist. No, the proper question is why you aren't. Anyways, I'm from a communist, KGB/FSB family. Such problems are unknown to me.

[Smyg]

Also, how did your parents react when you told them?

"Okay."

They weren't particulary reactionary. :rolleyes:

[Lyev]

I live at home (I am 17, close-ish to 18), and my parents know about my political leanings. They don't really care. In fact, they are sometimes quite helpful in offering me lifts to events or whatever. Though I think something is wrong, maybe, if you can find a comparison between "coming out" (telling your family that you are homosexual), and 'revealing' to them your political views. Also, I was politically active from a fairly young age, (15-16), so now it is a standard thing that people have "got used to" (if there was anything to adjust to in the first place, anyway), or at least a lot of people within our wider family and social circle know that I am a socialist. Did any of this help?

[NoOneIsIllegal]

"Mom, Dad, I'm a communist..."
"Shut up and finish your vegetables, commie."

[Weezer]

I live at home (I am 17, close-ish to 18), and my parents know about my political leanings. They don't really care. In fact, they are sometimes quite helpful in offering me lifts to events or whatever. Though I think something is wrong, maybe, if you can find a comparison between "coming out" (telling your family that you are homosexual), and 'revealing' to them your political views. Also, I was politically active from a fairly young age, (15-16), so now it is a standard thing that people have "got used to" (if there was anything to adjust to in the first place, anyway), or at least a lot of people within our wider family and social circle know that I am a socialist. Did any of this help?

Some people have all the luck.

Looking at Marxist stuff on the Internet in my household is like looking at porn.

I got scolded for looking at In Defence of Marxism, and grounded for it. :rolleyes:

I told both my parents I was a socialist recently. For some reason, my dad was apparently fine with it this time(I know he's not, but he's good at hiding it) and Mom was tipsy so I got off the hook. :D

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Some people have all the luck.

Looking at Marxist stuff on the Internet in my household is like looking at porn.

I got scolded for looking at In Defence of Marxism, and grounded for it. :rolleyes:

I told both my parents I was a socialist recently. For some reason, my dad was apparently fine with it this time(I know he's not, but he's good at hiding it) and Mom was tipsy so I got off the hook. :D
That's how my mom was about my atheism. I was grounded, she took the computer away, my video games away, and I couldn't talk on the phone. Overreaction much? I spent the whole time reading Marx though so it was all good :lol:.

Very surprised she didn't act like that when she found out about my communist beliefs, you'd think she'd be more freaked out about that than me being a atheist right?

[ColonelCossack]

lol my parents made me communist when i was, like, 11.




Parental indoctrination ftw

[ColonelCossack]

High school Stalinists, don't tell your parents.

My dad's already a stalinist, and my mum's a trot, so ya know...

[Red Future]

My Mother was a Trotskyite ..so there was no problem

[CommieTroll]

My dad's already a stalinist, and my mum's a trot, so ya know...

That'd be interesting to watch:laugh:

[Dzerzhinsky's Ghost]

My dad's already a stalinist, and my mum's a trot, so ya know...

Is it awkward when either one has to use an icepick?

[Iron Felix]

I was swinging on my chair and nearly fell off when I read that.

[W1N5T0N]

Ok so you believe in a socialist revolution but you are afraid of your parents opinion? The point is to stand for what you believe in, and if your parents are gonna be ignorant about let them. I dont see why they should be upset about it anyway, it's not like your admitting you are planning on joining a fascist terrorist group.

[Dzerzhinsky's Ghost]

Ok so you believe in a socialist revolution but you are afraid of your parents opinion? The point is to stand for what you believe in, and if your parents are gonna be ignorant about let them. I dont see why they should be upset about it anyway, it's not like your admitting you are planning on joining a fascist terrorist group.

I think this is besides the point, what I want to know is what's the point? Why is this even being considered? What's the point or purpose? Like I have said previously "coming out of the red closet," to me is absurd, it's like telling your parents what your favorite ice cream flavor is or what video game your playing; why?

[Le Socialiste]

I think this is besides the point, what I want to know is what's the point? Why is this even being considered? What's the point or purpose? Like I have said previously "coming out of the red closet," to me is absurd, it's like telling your parents what your favorite ice cream flavor is or what video game your playing; why?

Honestly, I think it depends. There's a huge bias towards those who hold leftist (communist/socialist/anarchist) beliefs, and I'm sure openly stating those beliefs could get you in some serious trouble depending on where you live and which country you live in. For instance, if my parents and community were made up of hardline religious conservatives (maybe even violently so), I wouldn't tell anybody I was an anarchist/libertarian socialist. Especially if doing so I could end up physically abused or worse. Despite this being the 21st century there is still a strong reactionary attitude towards revolutionary leftism (frankly, I don't think it matters which century we live in - people will still be biased against it for some time). My point being, I wouldn't say young communists should approach this as "coming out of the red closet", but they should recognize the potential risks and dangers that come with telling people. Again, it all depends on the area you live in and the family you were brought up in. I'm fortunate enough in that I have parents who are very accepting of where I stand and see it as a normal stance to take, as well as living in a region that - for all its varying levels of conservatism - isn't inclined towards beating up or killing "commies". That's why I believe one should first assess the situation, and if it's clear that there's no danger in talking about one's beliefs - do so. I'm sure most people here (and elsewhere) aren't in any danger when it comes to their beliefs. But depending on where you live and who you tell, that kind of information could get you in trouble (or worse).

[Zav]

Yeah, thats exactly how it happened for me. I agree with Zav let them ask you first.

To Zav, thanks for the tips they will also help me:thumbup:
You're welcome. :)

[Rafiq]

Some people have all the luck.

Looking at Marxist stuff on the Internet in my household is like looking at porn.

I got scolded for looking at In Defence of Marxism, and grounded for it. :rolleyes:

I told both my parents I was a socialist recently. For some reason, my dad was apparently fine with it this time(I know he's not, but he's good at hiding it) and Mom was tipsy so I got off the hook. :D

Marxist books are banned in my household, and so is going on Revleft.

I have to read, and post in secret.

Ah, Religion. My parents don't want me reading books because their fucking Sheikh piece of shit isn't smart enough to counter the writings of some of the most brilliant men in history.

[Tablo]

Some of you guys have fucking crazy parents. When I was in high school my parents didn't stop me from ordering books or looking at leftist shit. My mom's a teabagger btw. She hates it, but she never said shit about it to me. My dad, despite being republican, grew up dirt poor and well reasonably well understands my views, though he disagrees with the practicality. He is a very supportive parents though.

[Nox]

I feel really sorry for In Utero, from what I can see he told his parents he was a Communist, and they made him ask to be banned :(

[Zantar]

I find it amazing that so many parents do not allow their children to read leftist books or be a leftist. Both of my parents grew up in a small / poor town in the People's Republic of Poland and moved to Canada around the time of the collapse. Neither of them seem to care that I read Communist books and that I am very far left (never explicitly stated that I am Communist, though I can almost guarantee they know).

I say you shouldn't just go and tell your parents but if a discussion ever arises where you can chime in with your political views then by all means. If they disagree then so be it, if they despise you for it then it's their loss.

[Tablo]

I find it amazing that so many parents do not allow their children to read leftist books or be a leftist. Both of my parents grew up in a small / poor town in the People's Republic of Poland and moved to Canada around the time of the collapse. Neither of them seem to care that I read Communist books and that I am very far left (never explicitly stated that I am Communist, though I can almost guarantee they know).

I say you shouldn't just go and tell your parents but if a discussion ever arises where you can chime in with your political views then by all means. If they disagree then so be it, if they despise you for it then it's their loss.
This. I mean, being a leftist isn't like being gay or transsexual. There is no real need to come out of the closet and if your parents don't like it then don't tell them or lie and say you're a social-democrat. You guys are really making this sooo much harder than it needs to be. :/

[piet11111]

I tend to talk about the news with my parents and they could see i always had leftist standpoints and asked me if i would vote for the dutch socialist party but i said no as they are reformist and just as likely to screw us over as the labor party when they get elected.
So they asked me what my position was and i told them i was a marxist.

[StoneFrog]

Well my dad is a delusional racist, so guess how my parents found out i am a communist.:rolleyes:

[The Douche]

What kind of parents don't want their child to read books? I don't think I was ever asked anything about my politics for a long time, even though my room was filled with spanish civil war posters, anarchist/communist books everywhere, was doing anti-racist activity around town.

I don't think anything was asked about what I was doing or what was going through my head until I started going to mass mobilizations. And then I was already working with the IWW and the SP-USA, and I would just let my dad read the IWW newspaper cause he was a union guy, and he would just shrug.

My parents were always more concerned with me staying out of trouble (and as long as my efforts were focused on communism then I wasn't joining a gang or anything) than with me agreeing with their political ideas.

[TheGodlessUtopian]

I personally do not see the point in straight up telling family and friends that you are a leftist.This isn't to say that you should hide your thoughts on world events or change your vocabulary, but when it comes to informing them I just never have seen the point.

For example,if they check your mail, you use words like "imperialist,bourgeoisie,and proletariat" and generally talk down about the capitalist system and they still do not figure it out or even so much as ask you about your beliefs, than I just do not see the point.In this manner they probably do not care;if they don't care you could tell them anyway, but again, if they are apathetic than it wouldn't really do a whole lot.

There are lots of good reasons why you should tell them (mostly involving spreading revolution) but in the real world where there is potential consequences for your convictions sometimes it is better to simply be you and go with the flow until you can ascertain the political mood of your parents and how they would react.

To answer the OP question directly though....hmmmm....try and bring up a news stroy and explain it in the view of a communist,then when they become consfued simply state that socialists like yourself believe so and so. This way it will be a non-confining moment.

[ВАЛТЕР]

Coming from a family of leftists I never had to deal with this kind of stuff. When I was young all I would hear is: "Do you know who your great-grandfather was? "Sava Kovacevic! So you act accordingly!"

Also, I heard nothing but praise for Lenin, Tito, Marx etc. especially from my mothers side. However, thinking of how it may be for an average American with the typical family with the "Socialism is of the devil!" viewpoint I can see why you would be concerned.I would suggest not bringing it up unless it is brought up. No sense in forcing something.

[ColonelCossack]

Is it awkward when either one has to use an icepick?

Funnily enough that scenario is relatively rare in my household- thankfully... :rolleyes:

[Nox]

Well my dad is a delusional racist, so guess how my parents found out i am a communist.:rolleyes:

How?? :O

[DeBon]

I would try to start a conversation with him, provide facts, quotes, a well thought out argument, and in turn I would get a stupid reason as to why Communism is bad based off the Bible. And I would be stripped of my rights until I put on a show for them making them think it was just a 5-year long phase and I did hundreds of hours of reading and volunteering and helping people out of a childish phase, and admitted I was just too young to understand the world. I think I can survive another couple of years of being 'in the closet' about my beliefs. :glare:

edit: sorry I easily get off topic and in thought.

ON TOPIC: I would slowly reveal it. If it was me I wouldn't just sit down at dinner and tell him you're a Communist. Give signs, offer your opinion on certain things, try to make a bit of an influence on them. Best I can think of. :/

[Le Rouge]

Well my dad is a delusional racist, so guess how my parents found out i am a communist.:rolleyes:

You drew a hammer and a sickle on your desk?
Or maybe... You have a [insert random color here] friend and he asked you if you were a communist?