Relationship problems

[Agent Equality]

Alright Revleft, I've noticed a very disturbing trend about myself when it comes to relationships with girls. I tried to ignore it and say it was because i was immature or whatever but I can't ignore it anymore. It may have just ruined another one of my relationships for good, and for me the one that i had hoped would last.

This trend I am speaking of is that I can easily get a girl to like me...when I don't like them but when i start to like them, I slowly spiral down into this abyss of needyness and attention-whoring. Its happened in every single one of my relationships and they always say the same thing. They REALLY like me at first and then i start to like them more. I don't know if I just have an addictive personality or what but I always want to talk to them, and i always end up talking and being with them too much. I make myself too easy to get to and I just feel like i NEED to talk to them and when they don't give me enough attention I get all emo. I innevitably put her first before other things and this pretty much made me into a parasite. Not that attractive huh?

At first I had genuinely wanted to talk to her and stuff and i felt feelings for her. But then slowly that want started turning into need, and i just kept fooling myself that it was still want. I tried to deny it but it just shoved its head into my face today when she told me after a week of not seeing each other and talking that she had no more feelings for me. Which is Eerily reminiscent of all of my other past relationships. And with each of those, we no longer talk.

Now this girl means a lot to me and now that I've finally accepted that this is what keeps happening I want to know if there is a way to fight it. I try not to get too attached because this is what happens. I let myself get attached to her because I was sick of not feeling anything and I thought, naively, that it wouldn't backfire on me as it always had. I had thought, that i'd be able to manage it and that I could have a long, healthy relationship that lasted. Please, I need help with this. I know what the problem is, now i just need to learn how to fix it...for good

[Leftsolidarity]

Your story is creepily identical to mine. Like, exactly identical.

[La Comédie Noire]

Perhaps you should work on loving yourself as an individual before you try to love others. You need to learn how to have a life apart from someone you're with, space won't kill you, it will actually make each interaction much more precious.

The only reason I say you should learn to love yourself as an individual is because usually people who are clingy and needy don't have a lot of self esteem and let themselves be absorbed by their significant others personality.

[¿Que?]

This trend I am speaking of is that I can easily get a girl to like me...when I don't like them but when i start to like them, I slowly spiral down into this abyss of needyness and attention-whoring.
Yeah, that's pretty much me too.

[¿Que?]

Perhaps you should work on loving yourself as an individual before you try to love others. You need to learn how to have a life apart from someone you're with, space won't kill you, it will actually make each interaction much more precious.

The only reason I say you should learn to love yourself as an individual is because usually people who are clingy and needy don't have a lot of self esteem and let themselves be absorbed by their significant others personality.
I don't think that's it at all. In fact, that's the typical bullshit you hear from therapists all the time, like something coming out of a fortune cookie. generally people are dissatisfied with capitalist conditions which leads them to find an exit or moments of resistance and fleeting liberation. Some turn to drugs, some turn to other people. Some people just read or work, as if labor had some inherent value outside of the social conditions it creates. But don't get me started, cuz I gotta lotta work to do, and I'm grooving on it, so yeah, I'd say pragmatically your perspective may work, I just don't think it's true.

[thesadmafioso]

At least you can get to the point where you can get a girl to like you, that is something I wouldn't exactly term as universal.

But I digress from my own quasi self loathing, I don't really know if this is a sort of problem you can simply eliminate as if it were a typical medical condition. I would consider it more as a particular state of mind, one which has certain undesirable elements to it that require occasional management. There isn't really a sort of silver bullet to this sort of predicament that I know of, I would just suggest curtailing this neediness with other interests you may have. It's really not a great suggestion, but beyond diversifying your focus and time I'm at a loss as to what else could really be done in any sort of definitive fashion.

[La Comédie Noire]

While it may be true clinginess is a symptom of the much larger problem of alienation, there are also ways you can love someone without sacrificing your whole being to them. I used to have the same exact relationship problems as the OP describes and it took me a long time to learn I was the common factor and I needed to change some things about myself in order to have healthier relationships.

The problem with clingy people is they put unrealistic expectations on people by putting them upon a pedestal and becoming unreasonably upset when they fail to stay on that pedestal. You shouldn't want to talk to one person every day, all the time, that's just not normal.

The saddest thing is most clingy people will consider themselves "nice guys" or "good girl friends" because their reasoning is "How could a person who was bad for you love you so much?" When in reality they are ignoring the human needs of their partners by turning them into gods and goddesses.

[Leftsolidarity]

Since we are pretty much in the same situation I'll just talk about how I deal with it. I was moved away from all my friends and my gf (now ex because of this kind of shit) exactly a year ago. I was moved into a rich, white, yuppie area so I didn't really make any new friends. This made me very clingy to my gf and I ALWAYS had to talk to her. (I still do to a point but since she's my ex I don't talk to her as much)
When she was unable to be reached or I was trying to refrain from talking to her so much it almost like physically hurts. I let out all the built up urge to talk to someone through listening and shouting along to music. I also picked up acoustic guitar and gotta say, if I wasn't such a lonely loser I wouldn't have my guitar skills. Maybe you can find some sort of new skill to pursue instead of talking to someone.

I also sit on the toilet. A lot. Even if I don't have to shit or anything, I get so bored and lonely that I go sit on the toilet for like an hour at a time just sitting there. Idk man, find something to do with yourself but it is still rough.

[thesadmafioso]

While it may be true clinginess is a symptom of the much larger problem of alienation, there are also ways you can love someone without sacrificing your whole being to them. I used to have the same exact relationship problems as the OP describes and it took me a long time to learn I was the common factor and I needed to change some things about myself in order to have healthier relationships.

The problem with clingy people is they put unrealistic expectations on people by putting them upon a pedestal and becoming unreasonably upset when they fail to stay on that pedestal. You shouldn't want to talk to one person every day, all the time, that's just not normal.

The saddest thing is most clingy people will consider themselves "nice guys" or "good girl friends" because their reasoning is "How could a person who was bad for you love you so much?" When in reality they are ignoring the human needs of their partners by turning them into gods and goddesses.

I don't think we know enough about the user to break out the direct psychoanalysis just yet.

[Agent Equality]

Perhaps you should work on loving yourself as an individual before you try to love others. You need to learn how to have a life apart from someone you're with, space won't kill you, it will actually make each interaction much more precious.

The only reason I say you should learn to love yourself as an individual is because usually people who are clingy and needy don't have a lot of self esteem and let themselves be absorbed by their significant others personality.

I actually have a high self esteem but it just seems that when i start to like a girl it seems to go down over time. That last part is way too similar to mine. I started adopting things she was saying and she adopted stuff i said but i think i went too far and yeah. I kind of forgot who i was. i guess.



While it may be true clinginess is a symptom of the much larger problem of alienation, there are also ways you can love someone without sacrificing your whole being to them. I used to have the same exact relationship problems as the OP describes and it took me a long time to learn I was the common factor and I needed to change some things about myself in order to have healthier relationships.

The problem with clingy people is they put unrealistic expectations on people by putting them upon a pedestal and becoming unreasonably upset when they fail to stay on that pedestal. You shouldn't want to talk to one person every day, all the time, that's just not normal.

The saddest thing is most clingy people will consider themselves "nice guys" or "good girl friends" because their reasoning is "How could a person who was bad for you love you so much?" When in reality they are ignoring the human needs of their partners by turning them into gods and goddesses.

okay this was actually kind of useful. I sort of did put her on a pedestal because in the beginning, her selfesteem was quite low and still sort of is. I probably did put unrealistic expectations on her. I know it isn't normal to want to talk to someone every day all the time.

What are the human needs you speak of? How did you fix your relationships? What would you propose I do? And please, write a big long fucking book if you have to, I'll definately read it. I want to know how to fix myself that way it doesnt happen ever again. Outside of the clingyness, I really actually did care about her and our relationship. Quite a lot actually. Perhaps I cared too much and that's what caused me to spiral downward into clingyness?


Since we are pretty much in the same situation I'll just talk about how I deal with it. I was moved away from all my friends and my gf (now ex because of this kind of shit) exactly a year ago. I was moved into a rich, white, yuppie area so I didn't really make any new friends. This made me very clingy to my gf and I ALWAYS had to talk to her. (I still do to a point but since she's my ex I don't talk to her as much)
When she was unable to be reached or I was trying to refrain from talking to her so much it almost like physically hurts. I let out all the built up urge to talk to someone through listening and shouting along to music. I also picked up acoustic guitar and gotta say, if I wasn't such a lonely loser I wouldn't have my guitar skills. Maybe you can find some sort of new skill to pursue instead of talking to someone.

I also sit on the toilet. A lot. Even if I don't have to shit or anything, I get so bored and lonely that I go sit on the toilet for like an hour at a time just sitting there. Idk man, find something to do with yourself but it is still rough.

I actually don't have that many CLOSE friends, almost none actually. I have a butt load of aquaintances and semi-close friends but I haven't really had anyone to hangout with in a while. Honestly, this makes me hate capitalism and its social construct that much more. It makes it so people alienate one another and doesn't allow for people to seek out help and attention from others because they fear it will make them look like a loser or stupid. God damn, fuck capitalism

[anarcho-communist4]

Try to find inner peace and love on ones self before sharing your emotions.
Get control of your emotions.
I used to be the same way, i found my inner peace through meditation, you should research it.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

This is me exactly, just check out my post in the Pour Your Heart Out thread a little while ago:
http://www.revleft.com/vb/showpost.php?p=2207521&postcount=310

I get all crazy over somebody to the point that it's like an addiction and I can't live without them or I get all emo. I've recognized this and I've recognized that I get too needy and that that is off-putting. So what I do is just let myself get all emo and then when I'm with the person I try to pull off this act like I'm not going mentally insane over the person. Really that's how I deal with it. Which isn't really dealing with it, I get really sad and depressed being away from them, but then just try to act cool when I'm with them. Is that even advice I just gave? I don't know I'm fucking high right now, but that's what I do and I don't know if it's the right thing or the wrong thing, but that's what I do.

[Agent Equality]

This is me exactly, just check out my post in the Pour Your Heart Out thread a little while ago:
http://www.revleft.com/vb/showpost.php?p=2207521&postcount=310

I get all crazy over somebody to the point that it's like an addiction and I can't live without them or I get all emo. I've recognized this and I've recognized that I get too needy and that that is off-putting. So what I do is just let myself get all emo and then when I'm with the person I try to pull off this act like I'm not going mentally insane over the person. Really that's how I deal with it. Which isn't really dealing with it, I get really sad and depressed being away from them, but then just try to act cool when I'm with them. Is that even advice I just gave? I don't know I'm fucking high right now, but that's what I do and I don't know if it's the right thing or the wrong thing, but that's what I do.

I get the same way. In fact if i wasn't even TALKING to her then it was bad. Before I tried to deny it and i think thats what was making it worse. I didn't confront it, i just tried to bury it, as you do. But now I'm going to confront it. Honestly, this girl has liked me for far too long to (i think) let me being clingy and insecure to ruin 6+ years of feelings. But this issue is FAR too important for me to just simply ignore. You as well revolutionary tool. I'm going to try and focus on getting more close friends and stuff to be able to spend my time on other than her and video games.

I swear sometimes i don't even think its just capitalism, i think its computers as well, specifically the internet. As useful as it is, it makes us all addicted friendless leaches. :sneaky:

[citizen of industry]

Try hooking up with someone you don't like very much and don't get along with very well:)

[A Revolutionary Tool]

I get the same way. In fact if i wasn't even TALKING to her then it was bad. Before I tried to deny it and i think thats what was making it worse. I didn't confront it, i just tried to bury it, as you do. But now I'm going to confront it. Honestly, this girl has liked me for far too long to (i think) let me being clingy and insecure to ruin 6+ years of feelings. But this issue is FAR too important for me to just simply ignore. You as well revolutionary tool. I'm going to try and focus on getting more close friends and stuff to be able to spend my time on other than her and video games.

I swear sometimes i don't even think its just capitalism, i think its computers as well, specifically the internet. As useful as it is, it makes us all addicted friendless leaches. :sneaky:
No don't get me wrong, try to get with this girl if you really like her, just try not to come off as a needy creeper(One ex told me I was, it really sucked :(). I want to spend every moment I can with this person, but I won't bug her constantly, I won't flood her phone with text messages, I won't tell her "let's hang out on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday", because then it would just creep her out. Instead I'll do something like this:
"Hey I'm bored, you're bored, you want to go do something? Hell just go on a bike ride? See a movie? Have a picnic?"
Then we'll do whatever, we'll both have a great time, then I'll go home and obsess about her alone in my room for a while and try to get my mind off of her by doing something else(like coming on here) but that always fails. Then I'll text or call her telling her that I had a great time and that we should do it again sometime soon. Then I'll be all sad and depressed until the next time I see her.
It's not really that I ignore or bury my feelings, it's that I recognize how I feel can lead to her thinking I'm a creeper and make her to not want anything to do with me. I know they exist and I just try to keep them in check when I'm around people, but when I'm alone by myself it's a whole different story. Damn I should write a song about this.

Yes the internet is a curse I barely have anybody to hang out with anymore, a lot of my friends are now going to colleges and have moved away or are just as bored as me and we never hang out anymore for some reason. I spent literally almost my whole day online today, it's sad and pathetic :crying:. I mean come on I'm high right now and I'm on the internet! WTF is that man!

[kitsune]

In Buddhism, this is what is known as attachment. It's not meant in the sense of any form of emotional connection, but in this sort of exaggerated desire to never be separated from someone or something. Clinging, grasping. In relationships it leads to a tendency to idealize the other person, magnifying their positive qualities.

Meditation can be very helpful, but transforming the mind, gaining some control over it, is not a quick fix. It's a gradual process.

[Agent Equality]

In Buddhism, this is what is known as attachment. It's not meant in the sense of any form of emotional connection, but in this sort of exaggerated desire to never be separated from someone or something. Clinging, grasping. In relationships it leads to a tendency to idealize the other person, magnifying their positive qualities.

Meditation can be very helpful, but transforming the mind, gaining some control over it, is not a quick fix. It's a gradual process.

This is almost exactly what i was feeling. I did have an exaggerated desire to never be separated from her. I did sort of idealize her too. I would see the bad things about her and completely block them out, all the while she's telling me bad things about me. And then with her positive qualities i would just focus on those and they would get larger than life to me.

I don't quite know how to meditate but what else is something i could do?

[La Comédie Noire]

Well Agent let me ask you some questions.

How long would you say your average relationship lasts?

Do you find it takes awhile to form an attachment to someone, or is it almost instantaneous?

Do you find you always end up with people who are mentally or emotionally troubled?


Do you get jealous easily?

Do you find yourself feeling nervous or anxious when your partner goes out with friends, especially if some members of the opposite sex are involved (assuming you are a straight male here, correct me if I'm wrong)

Feel free to answer the ones you feel comfortable with. It'd give me a better idea of where you are "coming from." Keep in mind I am basing this off my own experiences with clinginess, your situation maybe entirely different.

[Pioneers_Violin]

I don't quite know how to meditate but what else is something i could do?

Meditation is either very easy or completely impossible. No chants, no memorization, no odd contortions are necessary. It's not necessarily what you'd see in a movie.

Just lie back someplace quiet, close your eyes, relax and stop thinking for a little bit.... There! You're meditating or at least chilli'n.
This can be helpful for those that think too much or worry all the time.


Good luck

[Matty_UK]

I actually don't have that many CLOSE friends, almost none actually. I have a butt load of aquaintances and semi-close friends but I haven't really had anyone to hangout with in a while. Honestly, this makes me hate capitalism and its social construct that much more. It makes it so people alienate one another and doesn't allow for people to seek out help and attention from others because they fear it will make them look like a loser or stupid. God damn, fuck capitalism

Well, this is almost certainly the problem them. If you don't have good friends you can talk about personal stuff to then it's no wonder you become too clingy in a relationship, because in that sort of situation you will inevitably become heavily dependent on your partner. I would recommend putting relationships on the back burner for the time being and trying to make some good friends. Put yourself in social situations where you think you'll meet like minded people as often as possible. Or make the effort to hang out more with your semi-close friends. I'm assuming you're quite young, and at that age nothing is more important than the quality and strength of your social relationships - it's not only crucial part of personal development, but having a wide social circle also increases the likelihood of getting into a successful relationship later on in life because you meet more people, and also because nobody wants to date a loner or someone who is too dependent on them. (well, some people do want to date people who are too dependent on them, but you should really stay the fuck away from those sort of people)

So yeah. It's a hell of a lot easier to find good friends than a good girlfriend, so focus your energies on that first.

Also-
I don't think you should try winning back this girl, you should forget about her and put it down as experience. It's painful, but fuck, life is painful.

However, if you are going to try and win this girl back (and by the sounds of it, you probably are going to try sooner or later) you should bear in mind that any attempts to win her back directly will only make you seem even needier, and will probably scare her. On the other hand, going out and living your own life without her, having fun with friends and so on, will make you seem like a more attractive person and she may even change her mind. But DO NOT force the issue or hurry it. If she begins to change her mind she will start contacting you first. So go off and make friends and have some fun. There's so much less pressure on you doing this than there is being in a relationship and you'll feel much better for it, trust me. You may even find that you'll get over her this way, and in a year or so you'll wonder why you ever got so hung up on her.

[Islamosocialist]

Agent, I have been on both sides of the relationship you describe. The problem is that you're meeting a time when your lives are not compatible. Right now, it sounds like you don't have enough in your life to be happy without the woman. So, she comes, and you cling to her like a drowning man and it ruins everything.

I've done that. My sister once introduced me to a man, a beautiful, pale skin, dark hair, bright blue eyes man. And Muslim, from the north, even my grandmother would approve. And we went out and I was my normal, vulgar, disinterested, smoking, but charming self. He fell for me, and then I turned into... a monster, really. He would say, "I love you!" with the wrong tone and I would lose myself in paranoia. I needed to be held and told everything was OK every night... who could stay with that?

And I've been on the other side. A Jewish boy, from Western Europe. I tried but he was just too... right wing... for me to forgive his political views. And I also did not want to move to Netherlands--and, when you're from a poor country, it's hard to convince people to come where you are. And he was just... so sad. So sad.

The first thing you need is to establish a happy, fulfilled, satisfied life ON YOUR OWN.

If you are in a relationship where one DEPENDS on the other, NEEDS the other, that is a recipe for disaster.

You have to be a complete, satisfied, sustainable person on your own. Once you mature into that, THAT'S when your relationships become serious and last longer and eventually you settle.

Also, remember every woman is different. You can meet one in your current mental state that the relationship will work... but it's temporary, an illusion. It'll just be worse when it ends. You MUST be happy alone. Then you can get a relationship.

And remember; she must contribute as much to your life as you do to hers.

You're a nice man, sounding. They often get abused. Don't be some lap dog. Demand that you get as much benefit from sharing your life as you invest in her.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :) You have a good heart, I can tell, and such people deserve happiness in my opinion.

[Dogs On Acid]

You should work on your confidence, and most importantly, keep your mind on other things. Your partner shouldn't be your top priority, it should be one of many priorities that you share with equal importance.

I'm sure everyone craves attention now and again, after all we are Emotional Beings.

But a constant crave of attention could be either too much spare time thinking about him/her, or some other underlying problem (does your family give you attention/do you have close friends you don't spend enough time with?).

I know it's some dumb taboo on this website, but you should read The Game, and then surf some Pick-Up forums. They have a lot of articles on neediness and relationships.

A personal story of mine:

When I was 15 I fell in love with my best friend. She had a violent (slapped her) and abusing (control-freak, dominating her personal life) and cold boyfriend but for some reason she never lost feelings for the guy. I explained what I started to feel for her and she just didn't feel the same thing.
After 2 years of "one-itis" and attention giving it got me nowhere! I did everything for that girl and got fuck all in return, eventually I gave up, hurt like hell. She eventually split up with her BF and didn't even take into consideration she had someone available.

So if there is 1 thing I learned from that, it's never give too much attention.


Doing so will just bore the other person and make you needy and uninteresting in their eyes.

Now, many years and fuck-ups later, I'm in a healthy relationship with a person I love to bits. You know what? We can go days without seeing or talking to each-other and when we do, it's amazing.

Good luck friend.

BTW, Pick-Up Culture and Self-Criticism really helped me find and reach the person I'm with today.

[No_Leaders]

I have the same issues but i think i've been able to combat them better. My real issue is that i had one serious relationship that lasted 2 years, we broke up and of course i was devastated. Seems like after that i've been jumping in and out of relationships, with breaks here and there then meeting someone new and liking them and the cycle repeats. I tend to get clingy with relationships if i really like the girl, which has always been a problem in relationships. Girls always tell me i'm too clingy.. But i've learned to occupy my time with other things. Mostly playing guitar, writing lyrics, smoking pot, playing video games, reading, etc.

[Agent Equality]

Thanks for all the input guys. I had known what the problem was all along I had just been trying to ignore it because i wanted to deny reality and substitute my own (sounds like a lot of right-wingers huh? :laugh:)

That being said, once I came to reality and posted this thread and got some good insight, it actually really helped. I stopped talking to her for a bit and started hanging out with my friends more and it was like magic for me. I no longer need to talk to her at all. I wasn't talking for her for a few days after she told me that she has no feelings for her when she messaged me up saying sorry and that she didn't mean it and that she guesses she was just thinking too much and hadn't seen me in a while, etc. etc.

Now we're talking again and we're going to hang out today, which is good. But now there's this fuck named skyler (from that other thread) who's trying to get at her. I'm all for equality guys, but when there's competition, I'm gonna smash it down ruthlessly ;)

[Leftsolidarity]

Now we're talking again and we're going to hang out today, which is good. But now there's this fuck named skyler (from that other thread) who's trying to get at her. I'm all for equality guys, but when there's competition, I'm gonna smash it down ruthlessly ;)

Once again I'm still in your exact position. Short story: Gf of 2 and a half years cheated on me for awhile, dumped me and started getting more serious with the dude, but she still likes me.

Even though we're still not really together or anything I "got ahead" (idk how else to describe it) of the other guy by 1)listening to anything she had to say 2)even if it pisses you off to no fucking end trying to be understandable and see it from her side 3)not focusing on the other guy cuz it makes it seem like its only a competition 4)but when the other guy fucks up (in my case he started sending me some bullshit on facebook for no reason) call it out and make him look like an ass (which he probably is)

Idk if that applies to your situation at all or anything but fuck man that stuff worked really well and got her to start "having those feelings" again for me so hopefully it can help you.

[Agent Equality]

Once again I'm still in your exact position. Short story: Gf of 2 and a half years cheated on me for awhile, dumped me and started getting more serious with the dude, but she still likes me.

Even though we're still not really together or anything I "got ahead" (idk how else to describe it) of the other guy by 1)listening to anything she had to say 2)even if it pisses you off to no fucking end trying to be understandable and see it from her side 3)not focusing on the other guy cuz it makes it seem like its only a competition 4)but when the other guy fucks up (in my case he started sending me some bullshit on facebook for no reason) call it out and make him look like an ass (which he probably is)

Idk if that applies to your situation at all or anything but fuck man that stuff worked really well and got her to start "having those feelings" again for me so hopefully it can help you.

Thats almost exactly like my situation. And I'm hanging out with her tonight and tommorow so i think i'll be able to get ahead of the competition and hit home. I'm pretty sure her feelings for me never left but I'm going to talk to her straight up about this guy and that i don't like it. I'm just going to work my magic with her and hopefully the spells work. hehe ;)

on another, more serious, note, if she doesn't come around and DOES end up getting with him, then I'm going to have a hayday with it, its going to be so fun giving her shit for it. Because, idk if you were, but I'm kind of sick and tired of this bullshit she keeps pulling on me. And I know if I try, I can really mess her up emotionally and possibly even mentally. So bad she might not recover. She sure as hell won't forget about me and won't even care about the skyler fuck anymore (I refer to him that way because I don't deem him worthy of enough respect to be called by just his name: equality's gone out the window here)

Its like what I guess police officers are supposed to feel: You have a weapon and you don't want to use it at all, but if you have to you will do so out of necessity without hesitation. But I hope to allah, yahweh, jesus, buddha, shiva, gandhi, elivs presley, chuck norris, and any other sort of supernatural being that that doesn't come to pass, which I don't think it will.

Oh my...I'm comparing myself to a bourgeois institution of control...Thats bad :crying:

[black magick hustla]

idk for a while girls didnt like me so i know how to be by myself and my dick and my booze, maybe that is why i always kindof got annoyed that some girls/guys are clingy because i always thought it was a huuuuuge weakness and shows that you are weak and pathetic. i think my dislike stems from the fact that for a while i couldn't have relationships and this people can and yet they are weak. now i am pretty flexible around other girls etcetera, and can spend a lot of time by myself.

[Leftsolidarity]

Thats almost exactly like my situation. And I'm hanging out with her tonight and tommorow so i think i'll be able to get ahead of the competition and hit home. I'm pretty sure her feelings for me never left but I'm going to talk to her straight up about this guy and that i don't like it. I'm just going to work my magic with her and hopefully the spells work. hehe ;)

on another, more serious, note, if she doesn't come around and DOES end up getting with him, then I'm going to have a hayday with it, its going to be so fun giving her shit for it. Because, idk if you were, but I'm kind of sick and tired of this bullshit she keeps pulling on me. And I know if I try, I can really mess her up emotionally and possibly even mentally. So bad she might not recover. She sure as hell won't forget about me and won't even care about the skyler fuck anymore (I refer to him that way because I don't deem him worthy of enough respect to be called by just his name: equality's gone out the window here)

Its like what I guess police officers are supposed to feel: You have a weapon and you don't want to use it at all, but if you have to you will do so out of necessity without hesitation. But I hope to allah, yahweh, jesus, buddha, shiva, gandhi, elivs presley, chuck norris, and any other sort of supernatural being that that doesn't come to pass, which I don't think it will.

Oh my...I'm comparing myself to a bourgeois institution of control...Thats bad :crying:


For me I decided I'm sticking with her anyways. The guy is actually moving out to California in 2 days (I live in the mid-west) so I guess he will pretty much be out of the picture. I could shit on her life and do all that stuff but it wouldn't feel right because that whole loving her shit and I'm going to be around her for a good portion if not the rest of my life because she is also in my band.

Even if you never get back together with her I think you should keep the moral highground. It has sure made me feel a lot better about myself as a person and (I don't really believe in Karma or any of that shit but) I think if I always try to be good to others that maybe someday that'll pay off. It's up to you though. Hope you the best with her man.

[Agent Ducky]

Maybe you could redistribute some of your clingyness to me, and I could trade you some of my heartless bastard-dom and we'd both be normal.

[Dogs On Acid]

For me I decided I'm sticking with her anyways. The guy is actually moving out to California in 2 days (I live in the mid-west) so I guess he will pretty much be out of the picture. I could shit on her life and do all that stuff but it wouldn't feel right because that whole loving her shit and I'm going to be around her for a good portion if not the rest of my life because she is also in my band.

Even if you never get back together with her I think you should keep the moral highground. It has sure made me feel a lot better about myself as a person and (I don't really believe in Karma or any of that shit but) I think if I always try to be good to others that maybe someday that'll pay off. It's up to you though. Hope you the best with her man.

You're staying with a girl that cheated on you?

She'd be long gone if that happened with me.

[Leftsolidarity]

You're staying with a girl that cheated on you?

She'd be long gone if that happened with me.

I think it sounded different in my comment. We aren't dating but I would like to be and we hopefully will end up getting back together soon.

But yeah, everyone fucks up and shit. Sometimes you run into that person that you are willing to take as much bullshit that comes your way for, it seems as if I found that person.

Or maybe (most likely), I'm just a stupid teenager who has abandonment issues and is desperately clinging to a sense of stability and normality in his life. I'm hoping the former but assuming the latter. hahaha

but anywho this thread is about Agent

[RichardAWilson]

Are you sure she feels the same way about you that you feel about her? Have you told her how you feel? I concur that you could have an issue with self-esteem. However, I'd need to know more information. It could be that the feeling isn't mutual. I know that if I were dating an individual and that individual became "too attached," I'd have an issue. Unless, of course, I was in love with the person. There's a difference between being interested in someone (dating) and loving someone. Like I said, I'd need to know more to provide an interpretation on the matter.

[Agent Equality]

Well good news everyone. I hung out with her this weekend and I must say, it was quite possibly the best weekend of all summer :) She honestly couldn't lay off me, so strong were her feelings (she told me). She was even mentioning marriage and kids and stuff.

Great-success? I THINK SO
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_VTTgoIk84vc/TNmZ3bnmTqI/AAAAAAAABd4/9smOKI0ogb4/s400/Retaking%2BLSAT%2BSuccess%2BStory%2BLSAT%2BDiary.j pg

[RichardAWilson]

Maybe to marriage. Don't have kids until later on. :cool: Trust me, youth is too short.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Well good news everyone. I hung out with her this weekend and I must say, it was quite possibly the best weekend of all summer :) She honestly couldn't lay off me, so strong were her feelings (she told me). She was even mentioning marriage and kids and stuff.

Great-success? I THINK SO
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_VTTgoIk84vc/TNmZ3bnmTqI/AAAAAAAABd4/9smOKI0ogb4/s400/Retaking%2BLSAT%2BSuccess%2BStory%2BLSAT%2BDiary.j pg
She mentioned marriage and kids and you consider this a great success? You're a crazy man, run, run and don't look back! I kid, I kid! Good job.

[Agent Equality]

She mentioned marriage and kids and you consider this a great success? You're a crazy man, run, run and don't look back! I kid, I kid! Good job.

I was a bit indecisive on the issue of kids but then I made up my mind. I want them. I can make little revolutionaries out of them yet. She really put the possibility of having a family of my own on the map for me(as in she'd be one of the only ones, if not the only one, I'd want to have one with) And If I play my cards right, it might even actually LAST (this is unheard of nowadays) I just hope it doesn't end up feeling like this...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM2Xm2hMVR8&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM2Xm2hMVR8&feature=related)

[A Revolutionary Tool]

I was a bit indecisive on the issue of kids but then I made up my mind. I want them. I can make little revolutionaries out of them yet. She really put the possibility of having a family of my own on the map for me(as in she'd be one of the only ones, if not the only one, I'd want to have one with) And If I play my cards right, it might even actually LAST (this is unheard of nowadays) I just hope it doesn't end up feeling like this...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM2Xm2hMVR8&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM2Xm2hMVR8&feature=related)
Aren't you like 16 bro? I wouldn't make decisions like that so young, I'm only 18 and would not make decisions like that yet. But talking about it really doesn't hurt I guess, my 20 year old sister just married her high-school sweetheart 2 weeks ago(They've been together since she was a freshman) and she's pregnant. So it could definitely work out for some people. But yeah hopefully she doesn't die and hopefully you're not happy about it :lol:

[No_Leaders]

Yep don't rush into anything man. I know how great it is to find someone you have this connection with but you're still young. Enjoy life as you have it now, don't feel the need to rush things or rush into anything. But congratulations:)

[Matty_UK]

I was a bit indecisive on the issue of kids but then I made up my mind. I want them. I can make little revolutionaries out of them yet. She really put the possibility of having a family of my own on the map for me(as in she'd be one of the only ones, if not the only one, I'd want to have one with) And If I play my cards right, it might even actually LAST (this is unheard of nowadays) I just hope it doesn't end up feeling like this...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM2Xm2hMVR8&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM2Xm2hMVR8&feature=related)

Woah, woah, woah, take it easy there brother.

You're letting yourself get obsessed with her again. Be careful.

[praxis1966]

I'm with the rest of these guys. What's that saying? Youth is wasted on the young? Yeah, don't be in such a rush to take on so many adult responsibilities. There are a lot of things I'm sure both of you guys would like to do with yourselves that children would be such an impediment too. Higher education, travel abroad (finances permitting of course), and just generally mucking about for a while and doing kid stuff. This is the time when the two of you should be building the kind of shared history that solid relationships are founded on. There's no need to bring rug rats into it just yet.

[Matty_UK]

Also, I think it can be a bad idea to get too wrapped up in a girl at your age. (although, it's quite normal to feel somewhat similar to how you're feeling, first love combined with being a teenager can be a seriously intense experience. I remember thinking that I wanted to be with the girl I was seeing at 15 forever, which seems crazy to me when I look back at it now...) You said yourself that you don't have many close friends. I think building a solid network of friends is very important at your age. If you become too exclusive with this girl, you'll miss out on a lot, and if you guys split up you'll have literally no-one there for you. This actually happens quite a lot with divorcees who have neglected a social life outside their relationship for years and it can be quite devastating. It's nice that things are working out for you with this girl, but don't take it too seriously and don't neglect other areas of your life.

[Agent Equality]

Woah, woah, woah, take it easy there brother.

You're letting yourself get obsessed with her again. Be careful.

I'm not getting obsessed with her again >_> I'm merely speaking of the future. Well in today's capitalistic education system, education is not for education, but merely to get you ready to go abide by capitalism and participate in it and most likely become a wage slave (or wage slaver if you are luckier than the rest)

I honestly do not know what I am going to do for a job or what I want to do, but all I know is that I want to live a worthwhile life with her in it, traveling,seeing places, participating in numerous activities. I may or may not never become more than just another armchair revolutionary, but my hatred for capitalism and my desire for a fair, equal, free society will always be there.

I will try my hardest to try and turn her red (and black possibly) but we are just teenagers. We buy into that whole teenage lifestyle and you know what, as much as I hate it, I kind of love it at the same time.