Should I send her a message?

[jake williams]

So... I found my sort-of-almost-stepsister on Facebook. I haven't seen her in probably 12 years or so.

Her mom and my dad were basically common law spouses (or engaged, or something, I forget the details) for about 4 years. They lived together in another town with two of her three kids; my dad kicked her eldest daughter out shortly after he moved in. The youngest daughter (who I found on Facebook) hated my dad for it, but since my dad is a shitty parent, when I would go to see him every other weekend I ended up spending all of my time with her. At least near the end of the relationship she was alleging that my dad was physically abusive to her mom if not to herself. I was stupid and didn't like her and didn't believe her. But I was talking to my mom a month or two ago and she basically confirmed that yeah, he probably was.

Anyway, the two of us were close whether either of us liked it or not, and I'd kind of like to know how she's been. To be honest I've been worried about her and I feel really guilty about my dad, and for not believing her. I'm not sure how fucked up she remembers the situation being, what she remembers of me etc. I'm wondering if I should send her a message?

(is that too specific re: identifying info?)

[Rafiq]

Do it, send her a message. Actually I don't see why you wouldn't . What'st he worst that could happen? She's not going to get pissed off at you for it.

Trust me, just do it.

[sunfarstar]

YOU ARE MAN,USE BEST WAYS.TRY!：rolleyes：

[praxis1966]

Let me ask you this, Jammoe. What's the worst that could possibly happen? She either doesn't respond or sends you a message back telling you to fuck off in so many words. In that case, you go on living your life just as you had before. So the question isn't really should you, it's why shouldn't you?

[Tablo]

Go for it. I think it would be good for you to send her a message.

[Leftsolidarity]

Do it

[jake williams]

Thanks guys, I think I just have a lot of issues from back then.

[Sasha]

Thanks guys, I think I just have a lot of issues from back then.

and so does probably she
an reconciliation might go some way in resolving some of them for you both.
if you came to the point that you are now willing to believe her about your dad this could be a big thing for her, your rejection/picking your fathers side back then must have hurt her a lot, least you can do is let her know you feel shitty for that.

[Blackscare]

you are man,use best ways.try!：rolleyes：
qft

[praxis1966]

if you came to the point that you are now willing to believe her about your dad this could be a big thing for her, your rejection/picking your fathers side back then must have hurt her a lot, least you can do is let her know you feel shitty for that.

Right, and who knows? It may be quite cathartic for the two of them to commiserate over this whole thing. There could be a silver lining to this whole thing insofar as they find a source of mutual support.