Why are men so stupid?

[Tim Cornelis]

Why are we so stupid? Why can't we read between the lines?

I was waiting in front of a building and there was this girl standing around, sometimes looking at me, then I wanted to walk away as I was sick of waiting. She smiled at me and smiled back (more of a friendly smile ya know). She walked up to me and asked for directions, and I said "well, you go there and there", 'ok thanks, bye'.

Then I walked and while I was on my bike I wanted to punch myself in my face. The signs were so obvious, why didn't I ask where she was headed? WHY DO MEN CANNOT READ WOMEN's SIGNS? Or only in hindsight. Maybe she didn't like me, but I could've at least try to find out.... So incredibly dumb.

Or am I the only one who is this dumb...?:crying:

[ColonelCossack]

No, I do shit that's this dumb too.

[Tenka]

It could be that this person was just hesitant to ask you for directions until you started to leave. A failure to interpret mating signals, if such there were, doesn't make you stupid.

Edit: Incidentally, the title is sexist. It would have been better as, "Why are people so stupid?", or "Why do I long so hopelessly for the company of a female, anyway?".:rolleyes:

[Matty_UK]

It's not that stupid I think - by the sounds of it you weren't in a place where you'd normally have the potential to meet someone, so if someone does give you the opportunity it's normal to be a bit hesitant - and after all, you only had a few seconds to make a decision. And, given that her behaviour could well have simply been an attempt to catch your eye before asking you for directions, it's completely reasonable to have been hesitant - missing an opportunity to chat up a stranger is far less embarrassing than acting on a flirtation that just wasn't there.

Although I did something similar recently - I was chatting to a "chugger" (charity mugger) in the city centre of the place where I live, and we got quite a good conversation going about travelling and teaching abroad, as it turns out she was planning to go and teach english in a city not far from where I once worked so we ended up chatting for quite a long time and had a bit of a laugh. When I said goodbye she seemed hesitant in some way, like she was sad that we won't ever finish our conversation. But I thought, hell it's their job to try and connect personally with people, I bet they get asked out all the time by idiots who think they fancy them. But then after I started walking home I thought, wait no, there was definitely some authentic connection there, and it's 4pm and she'll probably be off work by 5, no harm in walking by there again and asking if she fancies getting a coffee with me after she finishes work. But alas, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a couple years and had a fairly lengthy catch up with him, and by the time I got back she was nowhere to be seen...:(

[Tim Cornelis]

It could be that this person was just hesitant to ask you for directions until you started to leave. A failure to interpret mating signals, if such there were, doesn't make you stupid.

Edit: Incidentally, the title is sexist. It would have been better as, "Why are people so stupid?", or "Why do I long so hopelessly for the company of a female, anyway?".:rolleyes:

Yes, but would you have clicked it then?

[PhoenixAsh]

so a girl smiles and asks directions....and what other signs were there then? Because everything after that part is assumption. Just saying...:cool:

[Manic Impressive]

sometimes we should just appreciate a smile from an attractive stranger as what it is just smile and not as a proposal of marriage.

[mastershake16]

Maybe you just suck at picking up chicks? xD

She wanted directions. Don't over think it.

[PhoenixAsh]

Look...I tried your approach. I just went shopping and as I walked back home and came down the corner I passed a girl. She looked at me...BUT she didn't smile.

I had no clue what that meant.

So...

I decided to go ask her. I managed to accomplish two things...

1. I scared the girl witless. By suddenly turning around and starting to talk to her saying "I liked her smile...pitty I didn't see it". But then again I am devilishly handsome with a very charming smile......when you view me in exactly the right light ;-) Full story on request.

2. I got a date tomorrow afternoon. Its for coffee...(so we'll probably have 2.1 kids, a house with a white picket fence and a dog come next spring...because we all know what coffee really means *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*)

Ok... /making fun of OP & /massive overstatements & bad stupid jokes. ;-)

I do have that date though...this did just happen. :)


Its not about "signs". If you like somebody just say so or just ask them for a chance to get to know you better. If the other one is interested they respond positively. If not...then hell....thats just math: not everybody likes you, not everybody likes you in that certain way. But if you both have to look for covert and not so covert signs playing the "guessing game" you are both wasting your time. People are very bad at reading signs without some prior training. Its about opportunity. And that opportunity you create....and that goes equally well for the other person. It is also about respect...if you see signs and hidden meaning everywhere...you are not respecting. Sometimes coffee means just coffee...and sometimes directions mean just that somebody is lost...

Signs are something you do when you are on a date. Waaay more fun and way more contextual appropriate. Then you look for the hair playing thingy, the stomache holding, the muscles flexing....or if all goes to shit...the sighing and eye rolling ;-)...but with strangers you have no idea about behavioural baselines. And what is sensually flirting for one is actually pretty damned standard for others and means nothing.

By the way...I told her about your story...thanks...that was a real ice breaker :) :thumbup1:

(o...and she hates dogs...)

[black magick hustla]

man u guys are the other side of the whole raging male chauvinist dickhead coin, you guys are the sensitive male feministas that white hipsters love to watch movies about these last few threads have been dumb.

[Agent Ducky]

Probably because women can be tricky bastards that give out really hard to read signs? Well, both genders can be....

[bcbm]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/sites find your city, post on 'missed connections':rolleyes:

[CommieTroll]

It could be that this person was just hesitant to ask you for directions until you started to leave. A failure to interpret mating signals, if such there were, doesn't make you stupid.

Edit: Incidentally, the title is sexist. It would have been better as, "Why are people so stupid?", or "Why do I long so hopelessly for the company of a female, anyway?".:rolleyes:

I actually thought it was a girl that started this thread, just shows how closed minded I am:laugh:

[Tim Cornelis]

so a girl smiles and asks directions....and what other signs were there then? Because everything after that part is assumption. Just saying...:cool:

She stood there for 5 minutes, there were a couple of dozens of people coming by in the mean time, she could've asked any one of them... I can't really explain it well, but it seems odd you would stand for a couple o' minutes on the other side of the street, glancingly looking, while many people are walking by you could ask and then you would walk across the street to ask for directions + "the look".

But whatever, not like I'm going to remember this in ten years.


By the way...I told her about your story...thanks...that was a real ice breaker

No idea how you worked that into the conversation, but no problem--I guess.

(Ok, now I do, nvm)

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man u guys are the other side of the whole raging male chauvinist dickhead coin, you guys are the sensitive male feministas that white hipsters love to watch movies about these last few threads have been dumb.

I didn't understand any of that...

[The Dark Side of the Moon]

the same reason obama is

[PhoenixAsh]

meeeennnn....that date sucked.

[L.A.P.]

I've noticed that telling a story in hindsight about a girl that you fucked up with doesn't sound as convincing unless you give every single detail and clue that she was interested, it gives meaning to "you just had to be there". There is a significant difference between a friendly smile you give when walking by a stranger and a smile you give to someone you're interested in, I'm sure that the OP could clearly tell it was the latter but just didn't want to give every detail to make sure you guys don't annoyingly doubt.

What hindsight says about reading signs with strangers being a waste of time is valid but unavoidable as far as I'm concerned. I've noticed that younger people are generally anti-social and very put off by being straight-forward. In fact, my teacher asked my 8th grade class asked what if a new kid randomly introduced himself/herself and we all unanimously said we would think they're a weirdo. Even my dad jokes around about how kids barely look each other in the eye when it's not a close friend, so I feel like picking up a sign and just hope my guess is right is the only way to socially interact with anyone in general. Maybe it's just a teenager/young adult thing or maybe I'm around a bunch of weird kids even though I get the same experience in my New York hometown, or maybe I'm just nonsensically rambling. Bottom line, it's easier said than done to just be straight-forward.

[black magick hustla]

i just went for a smoke and met a girl outside and got a phone and asked to hangout. i have a small gut and i am not the most photogenic character in the world, i think you just gotta be honest and not be too pushy, i didn't ask to put my dick inside someone i just said what was true, i don't know many people around and want to meet me some new folks.

[Magón]

Maybe you should have asked her, not for her number or where she was going, but asked if she was going to ask for your number or where you were going?

You know, like reverse-societal-gender-pickup-line-whatever-the-fuck-you want-to-call-it-scientifically.