Whether or not to tell family... [Archive]

Nox

22nd July 2011, 07:44

Hit The North

22nd July 2011, 12:39

Wait 'til the Manifesto drops through the door and if your parents kick-off, denounce them for petite-bourgeois revisionism. When they ask what the hell you're taking about, tell 'em to go read a book. :lol:

Seriously, though, this is a tactical question. Are they likely to be rabidly anti-communist? If so, keep it to yourself unless you value confrontation.

When I was around your age, my mum had become a big fan of Thatcher and joined the Tory Party around the same time I joined the Anti-Nazi League and eventually the SWP. I had quite a high time denouncing her for being a class enemy! We didn't speak during the Falklands War after she denounced me for being a traitor! We had blazing stand-up rows during the Miner's Strike, and I accidentally hit her with an egg I threw at Michael Heseltine when he visited the constituency, as she stood with him outside the Conservative Club in Stoke On Trent.

Happy days. :)

Tim Cornelis

22nd July 2011, 12:48

I haven't told my parents I'm an anarchist either for no good reason at all actually... But I suspect they know seeing how I read and order anarchist literature from time to time. If you don't want to awkwardly say "mom and dad, I'm a communist" ordering books so they'll find out is actually helpful.

Desperado

22nd July 2011, 12:51

Read the manifesto online (or print it off, it's not that long), and Capital too if you're avid. Saves money and let's you choose when to confront your parents.

Kamos

22nd July 2011, 13:58

Since my mom considers herself a liberal I decided I would come out with my communist beliefs. Facepalms ensued... She was as stupid as anyone else when it came to communism. It's unlikely that you can convince any single individual anyways, so don't bring it up with the people you're going to live with for several more years.

Also, if you are 16 and your parents are still checking your mail it's time for a domestic revolution. Change those passwords! When I was 16 my parents had stopped supervising me long ago. Tell them that they have no right to look at your private mail if needed.

~Spectre

22nd July 2011, 14:06

Come out of the closet. People hate less when they get to see our charming personalities. :cool:

Shropshire Socialist

22nd July 2011, 15:03

Well firstly, you're 16 so what has your mail got to do with your parents. Tell them (politely) that if they are going to check you mail then you have the right to check theirs.

Secondly, if you are a communist then be proud of it. Try reading The Communist Manifesto around the house, or make a comment on a news story from a communist perspective.

Be brave and don't let anyone tell you what to think. You are an individual and only you can choose what you believe in. It isn't anyone else's business.

Flying Trotsky

22nd July 2011, 18:55

Being a Marxist is something to be proud of, especially in this day and age. But yeah, I can get where you're coming from- my grandparents flipped out when I told them I was a Communist.

I think the trick is to break the news gradually. Throw in a quip here and there about the oppression of the workers, or the unfairness of Capitalism and the state. Eventually, you can show that you're dedicated to the cause of freedom and justice, and when you tell them that you're a revolutionary, they'll (hopefully) understand that Communism isn't the bogeyman they believe it to be. Actions speak louder than words.

Hope it goes well for you.

NoOneIsIllegal

22nd July 2011, 19:52

It's not that big of a deal.
If anything, it keeps the relationship between my father and I lively and entertaining :laugh:

Impulse97

22nd July 2011, 20:07

Do it slowly, don't just explode out of the commie closet all at once. Try to leak out of it bit by bit, for lack of a better word. State your opinion on things from a communist perspective, but don't call it communism, socialism etc. etc. Those are loaded words and will often do more harm than good. Often too, if you have more liberal parents, they'll tend to agree with you and then when you finally do tell them, it makes it easier because you have a track record of common political ground.

Being a Communist is never something to be ashamed of or keep hidden. Having said that age has a lot to do with it. If your an adult out on your own it's easier to have beliefs like this than it is as a kid or teen. Often, the mere fact that your still in high school will negate any point you make, because people either assume your just a dumb kid who doesn't know what they're talking about and you'll grow out of it eventually or that it's just a passing phase to be put up with until you grow bored of it and move on.

"The Communists disdain to conceal their views and aims. They openly declare that their ends can be attained only by the forcible overthrow of all existing social conditions. Let the ruling classes tremble at a Communistic revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win." -Marx/Engels CM 1848

If I where you, I'd wait until I moved out for college to tell them your beliefs. At least then you won't have to put up with the stress and drama of it 24/7.

Luc

22nd July 2011, 20:47

I think it would also be a good idea to "prepare" an argument for your parents or any else who you think would confront you about Socialism or Communism. I.e., I'm a Anarchist so when school starts, I'm not standing for the anthem so I figure the teacher will probably be mad and ask "why are You not standing?" when I say "I'm an Anarchist" they might begin an argument.

or

In the case with your family, you could attack there lack of knowledge on Socialism and Communism. When I told my mom casually that I was a Communist when she asked why I was reading Marx, I just said "what is Communism?" to her. She had no answer. I gave her the basic definition; a classless and stateless society and further showed that Russia wasn't Communist because it had classes (Nomenklatura and Proletariat amoung others) and it had a state. After that she didn't say anything.

Oh, and before I referred to Russia I said, "You probably think Russia and China were Communist, right?" she said "yes".

The whole conversation was <5 minutes. :lol:

Note: yes, I am both a Communist and Anarchist. I'm also about the same age as you so I thought I'd give my "experience"/plan.

Vladimir Innit Lenin

22nd July 2011, 21:49

My friends and family are fully aware of my beliefs, but, as i've alluded to many times on here, I avoid the epithet Communism because, IMO, its name has been desecrated by many of the 'Socialisms' of the 20th Century.

I generally call myself a Socialist, because i'm quite accepting of different currents within Socialism and wish to be explicit about this.

AnonymousOne

22nd July 2011, 22:07

IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU COULD BE HURT, ABUSED, or KICKED OUT FOR DECLARING YOUR IDEOLOGY: DO NOT DO SO.

In any other case it's up to you, I don't talk about revolutionary politics (we discuss news stories, etc.) with family, friends or co-workers. But if you would like to, than feel free and go ahead.

dude6935

22nd July 2011, 22:33

ArrowLance

22nd July 2011, 23:05

Are your politics really mature at 16? I don't think mine were. Since high school I have seen my political views move drastically.

I wouldn't be so quick to label myself. In a few years, you will have a much better picture of what you really believe. Also, meeting people who may share your beliefs will teach you even more about yourself.

I once told my mom I was a communist and her initial response was: "Do you still believe in Jesus?"

Not really related subjects in my mind...

They are quite related depending on your mothers condition. Some believe that communism is completely Atheist, she could have been concerned. Also, it could be she is an ultra-christian for the likes of which the only thing that matters is if you believe in Jesus, this would be a question that signifies acceptance.

WyoLeftist

23rd July 2011, 10:19

My dad is a union representative AND a Ronald Reagan Republican... Telling him I was an anarchist was hilarious. But me and my folks have ALWAYS talked politics in the house, and when my beliefs started drifting to the left, it just made our discussions that much more lively and interesting.

Redbritain144

23rd July 2011, 10:35

Our most important asset as communists is to be able to deal with confrontation from capitalists and fachists alike. Although our name has been dragged through the mud by inbred swine like King Jong Il and Stalin, making us look like a power hungry and violent organization you would only have to read a little to tell that peace and equality were valued highly by Lenin and Che Guevara, real communists. Just tell them, and take the moral highground, politicaly debate but refuse to get drawn into a ridiculous argument.

Forward Union

23rd July 2011, 14:30

Just tell them you think workers should be paid for what they've earned, that you think people should have more of a say over how their communities and workpalces are run, that you oppose environmental destruction and war.

and they probably won't find your ideas too offensive. These ideas should be popular, they are in everyone's own interest, we shouldn't be afraid to explaim them to people, they're not particularly dangerous or extreme. Our family and friends are the people closest to us, we need them to understand what we're talking about. Otherwise there is no chance of building strong community and workplace groups.

Im a grown adult now, when I discussed views with my parents I think they were probably cynical but are supportive of the work I do.

RedMarxist

23rd July 2011, 18:23

I've been there before. When I told my Mother and Father that I'm a communist/ML they first of all had no idea what the f- it was, claiming Stalin was 'building socialism', and it can't "happen here!"

I'm not a grown adult yet, bust soon will legally be considered one. Ever since I MADE CLEAR that I was a communist, My mom/dad/brother will make retarded quips about how great capitalism is.

Like a bank that wasn't "our bank" called to advertize shit to us we did not need, and my mom is like "that's just a capitalistic thing, I'm sorry but that is the way it is."

I'm going to try asking here what the def. of communism is. that will be amusing. :)

I expect, being almost legally an adult, to get RESPECT for my opinions, which so far I have not received. They think I will "grow out of it", oh and they are "worried" that I will get involved in extremist left wing activities. WTF!

they DON'T want me to join my local CP(I have yet to decide what that will be), claiming they will be "disappointed" that there son won't join either the republican or democrat MAINSTREAM parties.

THEY HAVE BASICALLY DISOWNED ME POLITICALLY SPEAKING. I get no respect I tell you, no respect!

do the world a favor and tell your parents that you are a communist and damn proud of it. Tell them what they think communism is, just to embarrass them in the face of your superior knowledge. don't give up, I know I have not given up just yet.

BETTER RED THEN DEAD!

A Revolutionary Tool

23rd July 2011, 18:43

RedMarxist they're not going to respect your beliefs just because you legally become an adult, passing some arbitrated age of what is considered a adult is not going to get there respect if they don't feel like you've actually grown up. They might start to respect you as an adult once you get a job and start paying taxes, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to respect your politics, especially if your parents are bourgeoise, which I think I remember you saying they were.

Triple A

23rd July 2011, 18:59

When I told my parents I was an anarchist, oh gos they would take every news on leftism and every time the communist party appeared on TV to critisize(misspeled i know) me.

And when I went to an old bookshop to buy the conquest of bred, I was grounded.:)

RedMarxist

23rd July 2011, 19:04

pretty much bourgeoisie. BTW would insurance companies count as exploitative? because that is what my dad does.

they hate my political beliefs. hate it to the core. here they thought there son was a good Christian conservative and he declares himself a communist. I've broken with tradition I guess.

I enjoy being the only one knowing what communism is. I've been studying it for awhile now and can call myself safely a Marxist-Leninist. My parents think ML is the same as Stalinism, oh ya and they think it is "bad/scary" that I admire Vladimir Lenin.

They ask me how can one admire a "brutal totalitarian COMMUNIST dictator" and I'm like cause I actually know more about him, and they are like "Oh, We see."

Quail

23rd July 2011, 19:45

I think it's quite common for parents to be disrespectful of their children's views. Mine certainly are. They think that just because they're older than me, they know everything and my opinions are silly because I'm young. They make no attempt to understand anarchism, but still try to criticise it. I do think that they took my opinions more seriously before they knew that I'm an anarchist though, because now every time we mention anything political they start going on about how "anarchists can't organise or else they wouldn't be anarchists, it would never work in practise, some people will be more equal than others, herp a derp" and I can barely get a word in edgeways.

RedMarxist

23rd July 2011, 19:52

it get the same shit. Can't get a word in without: oh well Stalin was a commie do you ADMIRE him son or Communism has been PROVEN to fail, go move to CUBA, where everyone is poor.

You may have heard of my darkest hour(WWII grand strategy game made by Paradox Interactive, look it up) mod called A World To Win.

Well, you can imagine what there reaction to me making that was. It was my attempt to get my political views out to other people. the only people unsurprisingly who treated me like shit for it was my parents

They hate my like of Communism so much they feel it necessary to bring up the glories of capitalism every once and while. when I point out a horrific capitalism induced news story from Africa or bring up "private prison factories" they say 'oh its not capitalism's fault, its HUMAN GREED'S fault.' or 'bad government's fault'

INTERESTING FACT: my grandmother went to Batista's Cuba before Castro overthrew the government. My mom tried to argue that CUBA UNDER BATISTA WAS A PARADISE. I used cold, hard facts as a counter to that lame ass argument and won, using statistics to illustrate how much shittier cuba was under capitalism. She...agreed that it was capitalism's fault THAT TIME.

Aspiring Humanist

23rd July 2011, 20:19

I haven't explicitly told them I'm an anarcho-communist, but as I denounce my families rabid patriotism, my fathers love for anglo saxon colonization (he said the whole world should have been as lucky as india to be put under british control), and my frequent criticism of the state in general and I even throw in some condemnation of the family hierarchical structure I think they have figured it out :lol: Also if you want to let them know subtly throw some leftist vernacular into conversation when you're debating with them (reactionary, reformism, revisionism, DoP etc.)
My family is pretty involved in local politics and if it got out that their son is an america-hating radical leftist it could look pretty bad for them so they pretty much ignore me nowadays whenever I talk politics
Best of luck

Nox

24th July 2011, 04:45

Well firstly, you're 16 so what has your mail got to do with your parents.

That is true, but I kinda agree with them doing it to an extent because they have checked my mail ever since they found a legal high that I ordered online arrive in an envelope, the fact that the envelope was labelled with the company name and the word "drugs" didn't really help much :D

Nox

24th July 2011, 04:48

And when I went to an old bookshop to buy the conquest of bred, I was grounded.:)

Rofl that's got to be one of the most epic reasons to be grounded, besides not thinking the garbage disposal sounds like Chewbacca taking a shit. :laugh:

Aloysius

24th July 2011, 04:55

When my grandmother found out about my political beliefs, she said I could just go Canada.
I've always wanted to, and I told her so.

My parents don't exactly care, but sometimes they ask questions about what I think would happen to their belongings in a socialist world.

Aloysius

24th July 2011, 04:56

besides not thinking the garbage disposal sounds like Chewbacca taking a shit. :laugh:
Makes sense, in my opinion.

AnonymousOne

24th July 2011, 04:57

they think it is "bad/scary" that I admire Vladimir Lenin.

Comrade, a fair chunk of people on this forum probably think it's bad/scary that you admire Vladimir Lenin.

Red Commissar

24th July 2011, 06:08

Honestly, it's your political views. You shouldn't be afraid to express them. Just don't push on it too hard if you are afraid to severely damage your relationship with your parents.

Last year, shortly after I turned 20, my dad and I were musing on some political things. He was happy that I "knew" things and was well read. He was confused though that I was seemingly against both the Democrats and Republicans, and did not consider myself liberal or conservative. When I considered myself as "socialist" then, he just laughed and patted me on the back. He didn't take me seriously, but the term really isn't stigmatized in my household that much.

Nox

24th July 2011, 06:24

Honestly, it's your political views. You shouldn't be afraid to express them. Just don't push on it too hard if you are afraid to severely damage your relationship with your parents.

In response to you and some previous posters;

My mum is sort of liberal, but we disagree on alot of things still, during the rare times that we have ever spoken about politics

As for my dad, I have no idea. I have never spoken politics with him, he runs his own business (he's an electrician), so I'm not expecting him to be a shocking ultra-left communist any time soon, and I have in the past heard him say some remarks such as "the african tribes sold their people to the slave trade" and some other stuff such as "palestine is just seeking attention"

Aspiring Humanist

24th July 2011, 06:25

That is true, but I kinda agree with them doing it to an extent because they have checked my mail ever since they found a legal high that I ordered online arrive in an envelope, the fact that the envelope was labelled with the company name and the word "drugs" didn't really help much :D

Those legal highs are filled with chemicals and artificial shit you shouldn't be inhaling into your lungs bro

Stick with the organic stuff if you know what I mean;)

PolskiLenin

24th July 2011, 06:36

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong forum I didn't know where else to put it :lol:

Anyway on to the subject...

I have been a Communist in secret since I was 13; I am now 16 and I'm unsure whether or not I should tell my family about my beliefs, I mean it's nothing to be ashamed of but Communism is looked down upon by people especially people who know nothing about it. If someone has told their parents about their beliefs before then your advice would be nice. I want to order a copy of the Communist Manifesto and Capital from eBay or wherever, and because my parents are nosey gits they always check my mail so it would be difficult to keep it a secret.

It may seem like I am worrying about nothing, and I probably am:thumbup1:

But any help is appreciated:thumbup1:
I come from a hardcore Christian, conservative (of course capitalist) family. I became a Marxist when I was 12, kept it to myself to study and become further educated in it, and then once I had enough base to defend myself and be able to go on the offensive, I came out about it.

Don't be ashamed about your beliefs even if you are hated for them. Denying or refusing to acknowledge your own ideas/opinions will be something you'll regret, no matter how hard it is.

Nox

24th July 2011, 06:37

Those legal highs are filled with chemicals and artificial shit you shouldn't be inhaling into your lungs bro

Stick with the organic stuff if you know what I mean;)

It wasn't any of that shit.

It was Salvia Divinorum, I think at the time it was illegal in the USA. But it wasn't illegal here (it might be now) :D

Don't try it at home kids.

Aspiring Humanist

24th July 2011, 15:12

It wasn't any of that shit.

It was Salvia Divinorum, I think at the time it was illegal in the USA. But it wasn't illegal here (it might be now) :D

Don't try it at home kids.

Ah, Salvia is legal in the US now, at least in New York

Nox

24th July 2011, 16:18

Ah, Salvia is legal in the US now, at least in New York

That stuff is weird man, the one time I did actually get to try it, I had like a daydream that I was taking a shower lol

Aspiring Humanist

24th July 2011, 16:20

That stuff is weird man, the one time I did actually get to try it, I had like a daydream that I was taking a shower lol

I only did it once, the time I did I thought my room was a supermarket and I was selling my friends things

I think it was 60x or something

GPDP

24th July 2011, 22:35

It honestly depends on the parents. If they're fairly liberal, they'll probably be sympathetic, and at worst will tell you it's a nice theory but probably won't work in practice. If they're hardcore conservative, you might have problems.

My own experience was interesting. I took a turn for the far-left at about 20 after being exposed to Marx and Michael Albert in a college class, and then became solidly anarchist shortly afterwards after discovering Chomsky (though I'm a Marxist now).

My parents are very political, and talk a lot about the news and the government and such. My mother is very, very liberal, and actually sympathizes with socialism nowadays. My dad is somewhat more conservative, but I would say at least economically he's definitely to the left of the Democrats, though he does have some social conservative views. Even before I discovered left-wing politics, I myself was pretty liberal, and always talked about politics with my parents.

Well, when I decided I was an anarchist, I let it be known gradually. I talked a lot about anti-statism, anarchist theory I was reading at the time, anti-capitalism, etc. At first they found it interesting, but once it was clear I was seriously into this stuff, I came out as an anarchist in full. Suffice it to say a family intervention of sorts was had. My dad berated me for actually taking those politics seriously, that they things I propose would never actually work in real life, and that it was just a phase and I would grow out of it. My mom was worried about me going to protests and getting involved with "extremists," and believed that anarchism was about chaos and such. To be confronted like that by my own parents was almost traumatizing to me.

However, after a while (as I developed my politics further, and coinciding around the time I switched over to Marxism), they more or less came to accept my politics. I don't get in their face with leftist jargon, but instead comment on the news and other topics of political discussion from a socialist POV. They know I'm a devout socialist, but it doesn't matter to them anymore. In fact, I would say they have come to respect me due to how educated I have become in the subject (I am a graduate in political science, after all! :D). Indeed, I have even seen their own politics drift further to the left as time goes by. I don't expect them to become full-fledged socialists, but I gotta say it feels good to be open about my politics and be taken seriously.

W1N5T0N

24th July 2011, 22:54

when i told my parents they just lol'd. they really dont give a shit XD it serves for entertaining TV/ dinner convos though.

The Underdog

24th July 2011, 23:36

I couldn't give a crap about what my parents think of me or my beliefs. My dad was a chauvinistic, racist, ex-military monster that constantly beat me and put me down throughout my childhood, and well into my teenage years. I can recall being dragged by my hair, from the study into my room, and being punched and throttled because I was slacking on the computer instead of doing homework. My mother was a better person, but she would still downplay the severity of the abuse and would constantly make excuses for it. Between that and the bullying that I have suffered throughout my schooling (we moved around a lot and I was quite introverted), I really do not care much for bullies, bigots, racists, and fascists. In fact, I despise them all. The only friends that I had at school were pupils from ethnic backgrounds. The White kids in my area were horrible, snooty, bigoted types. Most of them were from the wealthier side of town.

Worst of all is... i'm still in the same position. Due to the economic situation, i'm still imprisoned within this little dictatorship that my father has going on, and, with rents and property prices rising, it would seem that I will be trapped here for the foreseeable future.

Sorry for the long-winded response. Had to get it off my chest.

Nikolay

25th July 2011, 00:01

My mom doesn't really care about my political leanings, she's actually quite open to all ideologies (excluding far-right ideologies). Both my mom and dad are supporters of the Social Democratic New Democratic Party of Canada, however, my dad dislikes Communism with a burning passion.. I told my parents that I am a Marxist and they didn't have a clue what I was talking about. :lol: If I told my dad I was a Communist he would probably call me a traitor and an extremist and someone who craves power..

My family is fairly left wing (they all support either the Liberals, Greens or the NDP), so I don't think I'd get too much heat from most of the family (except my dad). :)

If your parents are fairly Liberal or Conservative, then I would gradually tell them.