My Life in a Red Closet

[kasama-rl]

I'd like to share a piece bu Libriabout her experiences as a lesbian within the communist movement.

This piece was very difficult for Libri to write. I respect her courage and her continuing hope for the communist movement. Some things in our history make us celebrate. Others make us grieve.


“I want to talk about what it was like to be attracted to the dream of revolution – and then be told that my lesbian feelings were ideologically part of a corrupt and oppressive world order, and that I force myself to have sexual relationships with men in an effort to develop the sexual feelings I was told I was supposed to have, as part of being a revolutionary. “


“I was pushed into the closet as a price for being considered a revolutionary by those I respected. And this was doubly painful: I was forced to deny my own feelings in public self-criticism, and I was being trained to confront my continuing feelings as reactionary in the privacy of my own mind.”


by Libri Devrim


Much has been written about the Revolutionary Communist Party and its ban on gay people within its ranks. Some of us are familiar with the specific anti-gay rationalizations the RCP promoted for thirty years – including its notorious argument that same-sex attractions are a politically reactionary, personal-ideological choice.


But what was going on within the RCP was not just a stubborn and arrogant “error of line”– it was also an actual practice that had an impact on real people and real struggle. That is what I want to write about, including what it was like to live “in the closet” inside a communist organization.


I want to talk about what it was like to be attracted to the dream of revolution – and then be told that my lesbian feelings were ideologically part of a corrupt and oppressive world order, and that I force myself to have sexual relationships with men in an effort to develop the sexual feelings I was told I was supposed to have, as part of being a revolutionary. I want to talk about the way decent but incredibly ignorant communist comrades were instructed to correct me, my feelings, and my behaviors. And how, within a movement hoping to carry out liberation, the awful arguments and pressures of anti-gay bigotry were reproduced and enforced.

RCP cadre and leaders looked people like me in the eyes and told us to change, conform and be silent — or else get out. At the height of the AIDS crisis, they knowingly opened a horrible split between communist activists and those fighting rightwing attacks on gay people. They reproduced within revolutionary ranks (and using “communist” rhetoric) the prejudices, arguments and repressive practices of rightwing religious nuts – and they tried to promote such views more broadly within the left.


It seems that most queer revolutionaries were attracted to what the RCP was putting out. That they’d go take out the RCP’s newspaper, the Revolutionary Worker, get involved, and then someone would meet with them to have serious talk about “the Homosexuality Question,” and then they would disappear.


In that respect, I was a bit different. I got involved before I came out.

After meeting the revolutionaries of the RCP, I joined the Revolutionary Communist Youth Brigade (RCYB), really throwing myself into it. I was convinced that a possible revolutionary situation might be just around the corner (remember that slogan, “Revolution in the ‘80s – Go for it!”?).

All my free time was spent building for the work this party was doing in my area: I was going to demonstrations, taking the paper out, talking to everyone about Marxism-Leninism-Maoism (MLM), postering a couple times a week, going to meetings. It was my whole life.

Falling in love


Then I started feeling attracted to another girl who was hanging around the RCYB. She was really funny and cute and smart. I thought was she was great and I really respected her, especially the way she stood up for what she believed at school, how she would face off the cops at a demonstration without fear, the way she was always ready to take the paper out even when the rest of us got discouraged by all the rejection. I wanted to be around her all the time and I thought about her constantly.


Everyone else could see I had it bad, but I never noticed! She gave me her green kaffyah and I wore it all the time, even when I went to bed. I always wanted to ride in the same car with her when we went someplace. Her high school was across town from mine but I’d always try to find a reason to go to her side of town to take the paper out in the afternoons so that I could be with her.


Finally, one of the other guys in the RCYB said something about me acting like I was in love with her. They were all teasing me about it. I realized that I had had feelings for girls for a while and I started to come to terms with the fact that I was a lesbian.

A family’s anger…


When I came out, everyone at home was upset. I was prepared for their reactions, I’d heard other stories from teenagers who had come out about how they were rejected or kicked out of the house, so I was ready to face that from my family.


My family was upset and angry. They were disappointed in me and wanted me to just “get over” whatever young adult phase I was going through that made me “think” I was gay.


I was so depressed that they couldn’t accept me, their daughter, for who I was. But knowing my family’s conservative background, I had expected them to have a negative reaction so it didn’t surprise me.


….then the rejection by comrades

What really shocked me was how leaders in the RCYB and the RCP reacted when I told them I was gay.


I have to say that none of the other Youth Brigade members had a problem with it except one guy. He was a little immature and made a joke about how he didn’t mind if a girl was gay but there’s no way in hell he’d sleep in the same room with a guy who was gay. (We’d just stayed at a motel when we traveled to another city for an event and all of us had shared a room). But really most young communists of my generation never thought that being gay was wrong – it was something that had to be imposed on us from without, and was done without ever really hearing or respecting our insights.


But while the comrades in the Youth Brigade were fine with it I was really shocked by how hostile the RCYB leaders were. I was immediately separated from the rest of brigade – they stopped having me there for meetings and paper discussions, I wasn’t invited to take out the paper or go running in the mornings, and when I showed up at the bookstore for an event I was told to leave.


(http://kasamaproject.org/2011/07/05/my-life-in-a-red-closet/)
For the rest of this piece >> (http://kasamaproject.org/2011/07/05/my-life-in-a-red-closet/)

[Red Future]

This is pretty awful .....and also damning of the RCP

[Susurrus]

WTF. This is my response.

[Paulappaul]

Where does the RCP say it bans Homosexuals from its ranks?

[Nothing Human Is Alien]

This is of course terrible and tragic.

It seems pretty clear to me that the idealism of these kinds of groups plays into this sort of shit. Since one's actual class doesn't matter to them (it is not the proletariat that will overthrow capitalism, it's people from all classes with a 'proletarian line,' i.e. the party line, that will do it!), anything the leadership decides against can be attacked as "petty-bourgeois" and "bourgeois."

So when a middle-class student leader or CEO general secretary condemns a rank-and-file member who works a part-time job in retail to get by as "bourgeois," it all seems well and fine.

After all, they have the 'proletarian line' and she doesn't.

Unfortunately for her, she has the proletarian life. Even more unfortunate is that her grunt work for the party, where she is used and treated like shit by "radical" managers, is unpaid.

[Nothing Human Is Alien]

Where does the RCP say it bans Homosexuals from its ranks?

"The RCP was controversial for being one of the few groups in the American Left that held a position that homosexuality constituted a conscious 'ideological statement' and was a byproduct of capitalism. Within the last decade, with the publication of the New Draft Program of the RCP USA, they have repudiated that position, criticizing it as incorrect, unscientific and not 'thoroughly Marxist'..." - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolutionary_Communist_Party,_USA

[kasama-rl]

"Where does the RCP say it bans Homosexuals from its ranks"They don't and didn't. That's part of the point.

For over thirty years, the RCP had a policy of banning gay men and lesbians from membership. This was never a public policy (just like none of their other recruitment policies are public). And even now (as Libri writes) they do not admit to having forbidden gay people to join, and they do not do self-criticism for that organizational policy.

But there were a number of public theoretical documents explain their hostility to same sex attractions and relations (saying that these were bourgeois choices that reflected wrong views of sexuality and society).

This policy was reversed about ten years ago... (as Libri explains), but without any real accounting or explanation. Why had this taken so long to reverse? What had the cost been? What had the impact been on gay people inside and outside the party? Where had it arisen from?

It was harshly denied that any homophobia by party leaders were involved (especially Avakian). Any one demanding such an accounting, or raising questions about homophobia in leading places was accused an anti-party attitude -- and targeted for sharp criticism or eventual expulsion.

This was part of the chain of events that helped trigger Avakian's self-coup of 2003, the RCP's rejection of its own Draft program, and a series of purges in 2004-2006.

[kasama-rl]

Gary wrote on the Kasama discussion (http://kasamaproject.org/2011/07/05/my-life-in-a-red-closet/#comment-40127) of "Red Closet":

I feel so many emotions reading Libri’s piece.

First of all, compassion for someone so abused by supposed comrades. I can imagine the pain (and fear) inflicted at those coffee shop and Burger King meetings.

Secondly, anger at those inflicting the pain.


Third, puzzlement as to how people who think of themselves as “scientists” (or at any rate have in more recent times encouraged by Bob Avakian to see themselves as scientists) could be so STUPID as to regard homosexual attraction as a problem requiring this kind of intimate interference.


I knew the party was homophobic (and even while in the Brigade in the 70s I opposed the “line of homosexuality”—altho quietly, partly because I thought it might raise questions about my own sexuality) but this is the first I’ve heard about this kind of POLICING of people’s sexuality.


“We’re not interested in being bedroom police,” the RCP used to say when (properly) attacked for their position of homosexuality. But here they were trying to do exactly that, expecting that Libri’s commitment to the cause of revolution and to principles of democratic centralism would cause her to abandon her desire for women and even, to the party’s relief, have some sex with men…


It can only be compared to the counseling programs providing by some Christian groups designed to “cure” gay people of their sinful inclinations.
To be sure, decent reasonable people have at many times in history held irrational prejudices about sexuality. In Marx and Engels’ correspondence you find clear evidence of homophobia. But they lived in Victorian England, while the RCP was attacking gay people (and that’s what the wording of the program, BA’s derisive allusions to “faggots,” the mistreatment of Libri are—attacks!) while U.S. society was undergoing a massive sea-change in knowledge and attitudes.


At one point in the 90s Noam Chomsky, who’d agreed to give a fundraising talk at a Revolution Books, pulled out of the arrangement after learning of the RCP’s position on homosexuality. I was requested (as a friend of the party) to call him and urge him to reconsider. “What am I supposed to tell him?” I asked. Well, I was told, you should explain that the party isn’t against gay people, it just doesn’t think homosexuality is the answer to women’s oppression. It was just the nonsensical line of the 1988 document revising the earlier line (and changing the subject). I declined to call Chomsky and said I think the party should learn from this experience and really change the line.


The RCP basically went from associating same-sex attraction with “bourgeois decadence” to emphasizing that it wasn’t the answer to patriarchy (as though anyone was seriously arguing that it WAS) to (finally) acknowledging error—with some fanfare, issuing that “self-criticism” in (I think it was) 2000. That was largely a self-righteous defense. “We had to study the question, and that took time. Now we’ve studied it, and produced this brilliant, lengthy, footnoted document that explains what we now believe about homosexuality—and, hey, good news, guys—we now think it’s ok to be gay!”


I was glad to see it at the time, because I thought the party was doing good work overall and that they would be able to do better work now that they’d dropped their old line. But I also thought the “self-criticism” didn’t go nearly far enough. Among other things, it made no acknowledgment of homophobia within the party. It made the party’s earlier position sound like one of scholarly caution, changed due to the accumulation of scientific knowledge.


Now the RCP depicts advances in gay rights, including marriage, as products of mass struggle (“forced concessions”). But I agree with Selucha that they are not necessarily that but the result of broad social change influencing everyone from Log Cabin Republicans and Pentagon brass and the leaders of the Methodist church to self-defined communists.


The amazing thing is how the RCP went from seeing homosexuality as something that would be “eliminated” under socialism to seeing it as a right (and even depicting opposition to homosexuality including gay marriage as a key component of “Christian fascism”).


The dishonesty and superficiality, as well as opportunism, of the line change should be obvious. The RCP’s engagement with issues of sexuality (including pornography) remains simplistic, dogmatic and primitive.

[jake williams]

The RCP basically went from associating same-sex attraction with “bourgeois decadence” to emphasizing that it wasn’t the answer to patriarchy (as though anyone was seriously arguing that it WAS)
While I don't want to in any way excuse the RCP's sickening position on this issue, there certainly are individuals who very seriously advocated this, or something like this. It's less in vogue today, sure, but there are huge parts of the "feminist movement" that are both incredibly irrational and incredibly reactionary. The RCP's response to this isn't any better, but I'm tempted to say that they dealt exceptionally poorly with serious political problems in mainstream "radical" feminism.

[Obs]

This is an incredibly tragic story and speaks volumes about the errors of the RCP line and leadership. However;


Burger King meetings

hahahahahahaha

[AnonymousOne]

Perhaps one of the most disgusting things I have read today. How tragic that such an organization, dedicated in name to liberating the opressed, ended up causing so much misery and repression for this woman. What a horrific story.

I suppose though that this is in some extent inevitable in such a structure that is centered on top-down leadership rather than bottom-up. The leader or clique that controls the party is able to exert control on other members.

I would be quite surprised if something like this was possible in a democratic/autonomous collective. Once again, another reason to resist party hierarchy.

[Ocean Seal]

Well if its any consolation to that poor woman the RCP or the Bob-Avakian worship committee is a joke and wasn't worthy or her commitment to revolutionary socialism.

[Crux]

I would be quite surprised if something like this was possible in a democratic/autonomous collective. Once again, another reason to resist party hierarchy.
And yet homophobia and sexism is hardly unheard of in autonome circles. I live in a city were there has, apparently though I am not directly inviolved in that scene myself, been bitter rows over sexism in the antifa movement, to the point that a female separatist organization was formed. Among other thing's. Point is, Chairman Bob did not invent homophobia.

[Crux]

I do think the policing by the RCP in and of itself is quite messed up though and taken in addition to it's homophobic base it's just...pretty fucking messed up.

[AnonymousOne]

And yet homophobia and sexism is hardly unheard of in autonome circles. I live in a city were there has, apparently though I am not directly inviolved in that scene myself, been bitter rows over sexism in the antifa movement, to the point that a female separatist organization was formed. Among other thing's. Point is, Chairman Bob did not invent homophobia.

Apologies, I didn't mean that sexism and homophobia don't exist in those circles, but more it's more difficult to oppress and cause misery for individuals outside of a party hierarchy. I understand that sexism and racism run rampant eveywhere across the country/globe in all kinds of different forms and groups.

I was just commenting that the leadership was able to have power over her, and that wouldn't have been possible had it been a democratic collective or autonomous movement.

[Crux]

Apologies, I didn't mean that sexism and homophobia don't exist in those circles, but more it's more difficult to oppress and cause misery for individuals outside of a party hierarchy. I understand that sexism and racism run rampant eveywhere across the country/globe in all kinds of different forms and groups.

I was just commenting that the leadership was able to have power over her, and that wouldn't have been possible had it been a democratic collective or autonomous movement.
I certainly see what you are getting at, and I find it increasingly hard not go into some kind of unconstructive anti-RCP rant. I've always gotten a cultish vibe of the RCP, not just the ridicolous chairman Bob thing, this just strengthens this view. No doubt sexism and homophobia can gain additional power by party hierarchy dynamic, but I don't think parties in and of themself breed homophobia and sexism. I mean not all parties are dedicated to Chairman Bob.

[AnonymousOne]

I certainly see what you are getting at, and I find it increasingly hard not go into some kind of unconstructive anti-RCP rant. I've always gotten a cultish vibe of the RCP, not just the ridicolous chairman Bob thing, this just strengthens this view. No doubt sexism and homophobia can gain additional power by party hierarchy dynamic, but I don't think parties in and of themself breed homophobia and sexism. I mean not all parties are dedicated to Chairman Bob.

I don't think parties either necessarily, but parties that are centered around a hierarchy or group of leaders who has power increases the ability of those few to abuse power. If it's a autonomous/democratic council where there is an equal say, it becomes harder for leaders to oppress individuals.

As the author wrote, the Young Communists around her had no problem with her sexuality it was only the small group of leaders and higher-ups who did.

I don't know, I guess hierarchy just makes it easier for people to act on prejudice and ignorance.

[Revy]

I have literally only seen only one supporter of the RCP on here, in all my 3 years of being on here. So I doubt they are very popular. They like to make it seem like they are.

Anyway, Avakian has a new book out (I'm so excited!!!!! :lol:). It's called BAsics.:rolleyes:Hint: The capitalized BA stands for Bob Avakian.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-a1fOQFDQimM/TbR09CLD7tI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/uRfAd0OLTL0/s1600/BAsicsFrontCoverPalmE87.jpg

Will they stop try to make him into some kind of American Mao? Acting like he is the future leader of the revolution ("the leadership we have"). I may not like Mao in the first place but at least he didn't hide away like this guy does. B.A. is like B.B. (Big Brother) he appears only on the screen (online videos...). If we were living 20 years in the future we might question whether he is a real person or a hologram because he might as well be, because he really never goes anywhere or meets anyone or speaks to anyone.

[KC]

One thing that's glaringly obvious that hasn't even been addressed, either here or on Kasama (at least I haven't seen it), is the fundamental flaws of the RCP's organizational structure which allowed such a culture to exist. Everyone whines about "self-criticism". Well guess fucking what. In an organization that is vertically structured and where the bureaucrats and "leaders" dictate to the membership what to believe, where to live and what to do, you're not going to see any fucking "self-criticism" because they don't give a shit. They don't give a shit about you, they don't give a shit about your 'comrades' and they sure as hell don't give a fuck about Libri's hurt feelings. Why the hell should they?

Perhaps instead of whining about a lack of "self-criticism" we could get into a real discussion about the inherent flaws in organizational structures in modern socialist orgs. Specificially, and Kasama regulars would probably never do this, we should get into a discussion about how democratic centralism as it is applied today is a complete bastardization of the original method (much like the organizational forms themselves) and how "line tactics" are an absolutely absurd ploy used by bureaucrats to maintain "party discipline" (i.e. advance bureaucratic interests).

Maybe then we could open a discussion on why this happens. In other words, what is the material basis for such an ahistorical form of organization to exist? Sects indeed operate ahistorically, unchanging through time. How do such modes of production develop and why?

Look, I think discussing the content of this piece from the perspective of homophobia within the socialist left is great and all, but unless we actually look into how such a position can be propagated and maintained we're going to miss the issue entirely. We'll all just end up sitting here waving our fingers at the RCP saying "shame on them!" without getting anywhere.

[Principia Ethica]

This . . .truly sickening. I'm glad she spoke out. I'm looking for a local IRL group to join and now I will be vigilant in looking deeper into their ideology and social beliefs. I've always assumed that communist/leftist/socialist groups would have a more "progressive" view than others. . .I guess I was just ASSuming. Not even the democrats I've hung out with had views like this on sexual orientation.

[Jose Gracchus]

What KC said. It was awesome. This is just side-stepping the real causal elements.