Finding that right someone... Destiny?

[Reznov]

Hmm, ok comrades. So I recently was eating dinner with family at a restaurant. We were eating, talking about the usual things. But, I saw a strikingly beautiful girl, who for some reason felt this huge strong attraction instantly. It was pretty weird feeling this feeling, like you see someone that just looks perfect. Needless to say, I did not talk to her and I will probably never see her again. Although she still stays on my mind.

That being said, do you think finding love is something you have control of, you can make it or not, you can either keep or lose it at any time of your doing? Or do you think certain people will instantly connect regardless of situational circumstances?

Also, do you believe it is possible to go through life without falling in love with someone?

[Luisrah]

Not sure if this belongs to philosophy but ok.

I think love and etc can only happen out of contact with the person.
If you have a lot of contact with a certain person that is right for you (if you have things in common, if you find each other attractive, etc) then those sort of feelings will naturally come.

As for having control over it or not, it relates to what I was saying. If there is someone you love, but you want to stop loving that person, then cut off contact. If you don't communicate or see each other, it will be rough, but eventually the feeling will go away.

[Ocean Seal]

That being said, do you think finding love is something you have control of, you can make it or not, you can either keep or lose it at any time of your doing? Or do you think certain people will instantly connect regardless of situational circumstances?
I don't think that love rests simply in your hands, but that certainly you play a big role in your love life. As for instant connect, I'm not sure if that can happen as its never happened to me.



Also, do you believe it is possible to go through life without falling in love with someone?
I would think (and hope) that its highly unlikely. I think that love is a human experience and that we seek love even when we don't realize it.

[Dumb]

Love is a romanticized ideal that most of us are never going to experience in our lives, myself included. It's like a lottery: you get a select few who pick the right numbers and reap the rewards for years to come, while the rest of us keep trying time and again, eventually giving up (or dying) after winning a measly $5. I won't deny that deep, meaningful love exists, but it's damn rare, and most of us have to make do with shallow, short-lived sex followed by years of dull, tedious drudgery.

Most of us will think for a time that we're in love. We'll either find out that we were wrong, or we will go to our graves having convinced ourselves to continue believing the lie.

[Rafiq]

Sorry, I don't think love exists.

I think you saw a girl who you think is extremely attractive, nothing more. I recommend you go back and talk to her, and if she has a shit personality, all of those feelings will go away. This has happened to me several times before.

Love does not exist. Finding someone attractive does exist, yes, and appreciating someones personality exists, yes, but there is no thing magical about it.

We are all monkeys. It's about time we start realizing that, and stop thinking of ourselves as these "Spirits" or "Souls" wandering around finding our true love. That doesn't exist.

[Kronsteen]

Sorry, I don't think love exists.

We are all monkeys.

Perhaps you haven't met many monkeys. Neither did Alistair Crowley, and he said the same thing to justify personal selfishness.

Of course love exists. Or rather, there's dozens of emotional states - some quite unpleasant - which get called love.

There's also a collection of silly ideals in romantic books, movies and songs which could never match reality - and if they did, would quickly become hellish.

None of which describes fancying a pretty girl across a room or feeling lonely.

[Hit The North]

Not sure if this belongs to philosophy but ok.



Correct!

Moved to Non-Political.

[Black Sheep]

True, love as a spiritual romantic mystery BLAHHH BLAHH doesn't exist - it's just chemistry, but it's awesome so why not enjoy it?

[NoOneIsIllegal]

That being said, do you think finding love is something you have control of, you can make it or not, you can either keep or lose it at any time of your doing? Or do you think certain people will instantly connect regardless of situational circumstances?
I have no fucking clue. I think you control it to an extent, it depends.
My girlfriend was/is my best friend for 4 years, known her for 6, and was just started dating and it's fantastic. It's kind of weird, we're both really surprised it's working out so well, I mean... it just happened out of nowhere. So expect the unexpected, I never visioned I would be dating her, and it's made me so happy.

Also, do you believe it is possible to go through life without falling in love with someone?It's very possible, but seems uncommon. One of my co-workers is in his 50s and has said "I've just never met the right person" (when speaking on why he hasn't married...) I guess that's a way of saying he's never been in love.

[Rafiq]

Perhaps you haven't met many monkeys. Neither did Alistair Crowley, and he said the same thing to justify personal selfishness.

Of course love exists. Or rather, there's dozens of emotional states - some quite unpleasant - which get called love.

There's also a collection of silly ideals in romantic books, movies and songs which could never match reality - and if they did, would quickly become hellish.

None of which describes fancying a pretty girl across a room or feeling lonely.

Of course it exists? really? Prove it.


Love does not exist. Getting a boner is not love. Feeling horny is not love.

Love: "An unexplainable magical feeling that makes you hooked on one person or whatever" < doesn't exist.

[praxis1966]

This is going to sound pretty cynical coming from someone who has been in a happy, committed relationship for the past eight years, but people get all the wrong ideas about love... You know that can't eat, can't sleep, butterflies in the stomach every time you think about the other person? Yeah, that ain't love. That's infatuation.

That goes away somewhere between six months and a year into every relationship and what you're left with after that is each other... the real thing where you're not constantly presenting the other person with some kind of better version of yourself. Incidentally, this is when most relationships end, lol.

Naw, in my estimation, real love is just finding someone you're not only physically attracted to but comfortable enough around to be yourself and vice versa... And who doesn't drive you completely insane in the meantime. Basically, in my opinion, love doesn't exist until after your past the stage of thinking every crap pop song on the radio was made for the two of you... So "love at first sight" as the OP describes is complete baloney.

EDIT: As for destiny, well, I have a hard time understanding how any leftist could believe in something so chintzy and full of hocus pocus. We are supposed to be materialists, right? Right?

[praxis1966]

i never need a girlftriend again only to fuck maybe lolz

I've thought about it and since I'm having a hard time coming up with a better example of blatant objectification, consider this a verbal warning for sexist commentary.


r7M5NUlaQsg

Same goes to you, Cane Nero, for discriminatory language. I for the life of me can't figure out why you'd think it'd be a good idea to use the word "*****" on this forum even if it is in a music video. Verbal warning.

[Black Sheep]

@praxis
And you thought of sexist objectification rather than a dismission of romantic love and relationships?

If some girl said 'i just want some dick to ride' would that receive an infraction?

[praxis1966]

@praxis
And you thought of sexist objectification rather than a dismission of romantic love and relationships?

If some girl said 'i just want some dick to ride' would that receive an infraction?

Patriarchy's a one way street. Coming from a man, those kinds of statements are exemplary of male domination/supremacy. It doesn't work the same for women because they are an oppressed class. Besides, there are ways to dismiss romantic love without reducing women to a piece of meat whose sole purpose to a man is sexual gratification.

Anyhow, if you have any further questions, please PM me since this isn't the subject of the thread.

[Kronsteen]

Getting a boner is not love. Feeling horny is not love.

Love: "An unexplainable magical feeling that makes you hooked on one person or whatever" < doesn't exist.

I never said it was any of these things.

Though feelings of affection can be mixed up with sexuality. In fact, feeling of just about any kind can seemingly get mixed up with sexuality.

As for your demand that I "prove it"...it might be useful if you had some notion of what you're asking me to prove the existence of.

If you insist that the word has no meaning, then asking me to prove the existence of the referent of a term which by your definition has no definition...involves a certain confusion on your part.

In case the syntax of the above is too convoluted, here's a parallel:
The word God has no meaning. Now, prove God doesn't exist.

[Rafiq]

Alrighty, fine, you caught me.

But I still don't think love exists.