Your most epic flirting fail

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Have you ever been trying to flirt with a girl/boy, trying to hit on them, etc, and you say something so epically fail you leave yourself wondering how the hell you could have said or done something so utterly foolish. Well discuss.

Freshman year there was this girl who sat next to me in algebra that I had a huge crush on so once in a while we would be walking near each other when we were walking to class. One day she was walking alone and we made eye contact. Then she said "Hey come walk with me to class." I was so fucking happy because she actually talked to me outside of class. We were walking to class and there was that awkward silence so I thought I should complement her. I looked her up and down to see what to complement but I didn't want to say the often used nice hair or you have pretty eyes. So I noticed her toenails were painted real nice but I was still so excited to even be in her presence that I couldn't formulate the right words to tell her that so here's what I said. "Nice...uhh...feet". *Facepalm*
She looked at me strange and said "what" and then started laughing. She then knew me as "foot fetish" guy for the rest of the year before she moved. :cool:

[Spawn of Stalin]

Honestly I have never failed at anything that had anything to do with women

Nice story though

[NoOneIsIllegal]

Was talking to a girl a lot for a month, and I really liked her. She approached me more often than I approached her, so I assumed the feeling was mutual (never saw her talking to any other guys either). Asked her out, and she said yes. A few days later I found out through the grapevine she already had a boyfriend. Hence why she started being distant and avoiding me and not making eye contact. Man, talk about awkward.

Still pretty fucked up. She could of said "no thanks, I have a boyfriend" or did some other shitty lie rather than lead me on and say yes. Man, those few weeks at work were awkward. lawlz.

[Buitraker]

At the night before start my first concert with my group
-Cool piercing
-He did me my father

That girl was my girlfriend and yes, her father is abuser

[Manic Impressive]

ah cool thread I've probably got loads if I think about it but here's one that sticks out.

I'd just come back from Thailand and I'd learned a good amount of the lingo while I was there. I was at work on a 10 hour shift suffering from a hellish hangover. So I was dealing blackjack to 5 of the most stunningly beautiful Thai women you will ever see and one middle aged lady. So I'm not really talking and I'm counting the seconds until I get out of work and my supervisor comes wandering over and he's like "oh Manic here speaks a bit of Thai" in my head I was like oh fuck off but they were all really enthusiastic so I went with the first and most generic chat up line I knew which goes something like
"cun tai su^way mak mak" which should translate as you are very very beautiful. The ^ in the middle of the word denotes an upward inflection which gives it it's meaning without it or with a different inflection it means something different. In my less than chirpy state I put the wrong inflection on the word. Anyway they all laughed while also looking slightly offended so I asked what was wrong. The old lady told me I had just said that they all look like dead bodies. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

[Rusty Shackleford]

a very attractive woman came into work, and i failed to even flirt with her :sneaky:

[Spawn of Stalin]

yo Manic does your boss really call you Manic?

[Manic Impressive]

oh I remembered another one a couple of months before and I'd only just got back. I was on a date with a Thai woman who had brought along a chaperon. So we went for lunch in a Thai restaurant and I said "oh it's a shame you just can't get real good Thai food in London" I then turned to the chaperon and said "so what do you do?" she replied "I run a Thai restaurant" ":blushing: oh"
Urgh remembering my pretentiousness seriously makes me want to punch myself in the face even 8 years on.

[Blake's Baby]

While hammered one night in a club, I walked up to a gorgeous woman and said "You're the most gorgeous ... " and then I forgot what I was going to say, which was " ... person I've ever seen". But what came out was " ... person in the world."

And then, because my brain told me hyperbole! Bullshit! Coming on too strong! Be honest! I added, in an increasingly rambling and out-of-it way, "... I mean, maybe not in the whole world, I don't know, I haven't actually met everyone in the world, but you look quite nice..."

Two days later I found out she knew some mates of mine, who took the piss out me for about 4 months.




Manic, your stories are awesome.

[Manic Impressive]

yo Manic does your boss really call you Manic?
nah but I weren't gonna write my real name :p

[Luisrah]

Have you ever been trying to flirt with a girl/boy, trying to hit on them, etc, and you say something so epically fail you leave yourself wondering how the hell you could have said or done something so utterly foolish. Well discuss.

Freshman year there was this girl who sat next to me in algebra that I had a huge crush on so once in a while we would be walking near each other when we were walking to class. One day she was walking alone and we made eye contact. Then she said "Hey come walk with me to class." I was so fucking happy because she actually talked to me outside of class. We were walking to class and there was that awkward silence so I thought I should complement her. I looked her up and down to see what to complement but I didn't want to say the often used nice hair or you have pretty eyes. So I noticed her toenails were painted real nice but I was still so excited to even be in her presence that I couldn't formulate the right words to tell her that so here's what I said. "Nice...uhh...feet". *Facepalm*
She looked at me strange and said "what" and then started laughing. She then knew me as "foot fetish" guy for the rest of the year before she moved. :cool:


Dude, even I facepalmed at home when I read this. But it's no big deal. We all make stupid stuff like that.
I can't really remember anything that I could transmit by words, but I've had a lot of awkward moments lol a lot...

[Devrim]

I was chatting with a Czech woman in a bar when I was working at Skoda Auto, and she asked me if I would like to go to a club. I told her that I was sorry I couldn't because I didn't have any money. She just burst out laughing at me as did everybody else at the table.

Unfortunately the Czech word for money 'peníz' is rather similar to another word, and my pronunciation wasn't that good.

Devrim

[Luisrah]

I was chatting with a Czech woman in a bar when I was working at Skoda Auto, and she asked me if I would like to go to a club. I told her that I was sorry I couldn't because I didn't have any money. She just burst out laughing at me as did everybody else at the table.

Unfortunately the Czech word for money 'peníz' is rather similar to another word, and my pronunciation wasn't that good.

Devrim

You mean, like penis? Loool

[Kuppo Shakur]

Hit on a girl that turned out to be underage.

Hit on a girl that turned out to be married.

[#FF0000]

"Hey, uh, you wanna go out sometime?"

"I have a girlfriend."

[Sasha]

oh i did that one one over you...
met this nice girl on holiday, flirted, turned out she was an lesbian, decided i should set her up with my also gay sister and secretly arranged an date, turned out my sister met on holiday the girls ex and they are already dating.
9 years later they are still together, everybody is still friends, still an source of amusement on party's.

also, lost count the amount of times i tried to kiss girls who declined with "sorry, i just puked in the bathroom".
always got an second chance next weekend though.

[Jazzratt]

I was so drunk once that I simply told someone I was flirting with them, rather than actually behaving in a more flirtatious manner or anything. Look back on that I feel embarrassed but I think what's especially annoying about it is that, had I not failed quite so hard, I could have gone home with that person rather than wandering through the streets on my own and getting hospitalised in a fight.

[Buitraker]

i was chatting with a czech woman in a bar when i was working at skoda auto, and she asked me if i would like to go to a club. I told her that i was sorry i couldn't because i didn't have any money. She just burst out laughing at me as did everybody else at the table.

Unfortunately the czech word for money 'peníz' is rather similar to another word, and my pronunciation wasn't that good.

Devrim
lol

[praxis1966]

I've been shot down a couple of times, but nothing as epically funny as Blake, Manic or Dev... Keep the stories coming, you guys have me laughing like a hyena over here.

[Agent Ducky]

The only time I ever flirt is with disaster.

[Broletariat]

The only time I ever flirt is with disaster.

And putzpie

[Rafiq]

I fail all the time. With the exception of at school (ewww he's a commie) I can usually talk to any girl I like, but unfortunatly it usually gets akward because there's nothing to talk about.. than I realize in my head "why am i talking to you?"

[HEAD ICE]

Have you ever been trying to flirt with a girl/boy, trying to hit on them, etc, and you say something so epically fail you leave yourself wondering how the hell you could have said or done something so utterly foolish. Well discuss.

Freshman year there was this girl who sat next to me in algebra that I had a huge crush on so once in a while we would be walking near each other when we were walking to class. One day she was walking alone and we made eye contact. Then she said "Hey come walk with me to class." I was so fucking happy because she actually talked to me outside of class. We were walking to class and there was that awkward silence so I thought I should complement her. I looked her up and down to see what to complement but I didn't want to say the often used nice hair or you have pretty eyes. So I noticed her toenails were painted real nice but I was still so excited to even be in her presence that I couldn't formulate the right words to tell her that so here's what I said. "Nice...uhh...feet". *Facepalm*
She looked at me strange and said "what" and then started laughing. She then knew me as "foot fetish" guy for the rest of the year before she moved. :cool:

tell a girl that she has nice skin, they seem to like that one

[Agent Ducky]

and putzpie

nein.

[Broletariat]

nein.

Don't deny it :P

[Agent Ducky]

Don't deny it :P
I'm not in denial. IZ TRUTH!

Oh, and now you're just going to sit here and tease me. I SEE HOW IT IS.

[Johnny Kerosene]

Sitting in my truck with a friend in a checker's parking lot at like, 2 in the morning, waiting for them to bring the food out. Someone says hey. Look over to my left, it's a girl in the passenger seat of a car with her friend driving. She asks me what my name was, I gave a false one. I think she may have been flirting, but I missed it at the time, and I had kind of a what the hell do you want face on. I heard her friend whisper, "I don't think he likes you." Girl says, "sorry, bye." Rolls up window. They drive away. Realize what just happened. Fuck.

Apparently I looked very scary that night, because a little bit after, while still in the same parking lot, a guy came up and asked if we had a dollar, and he went up to the passenger window to my friend, because he said I looked like I was going to shoot him. We gave him a buck 86, which was all we had left, and a cigarette.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

tell a girl that she has nice skin, they seem to like that one

Yeah a little to late now. I have used that one before and she did like but I don't like saying it. Idk it just sounds creepy to me, like it's something Hannibal Lecter would say or something. If someone told me I had nice skin I'd be like get the hell away from me freaking zombie chick.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Sitting in my truck with a friend in a checker's parking lot at like, 2 in the morning, waiting for them to bring the food out. Someone says hey. Look over to my left, it's a girl in the passenger seat of a car with her friend driving. She asks me what my name was, I gave a false one. I think she may have been flirting, but I missed it at the time, and I had kind of a what the hell do you want face on. I heard her friend whisper, "I don't think he likes you." Girl says, "sorry, bye." Rolls up window. They drive away. Realize what just happened. Fuck.

Apparently I looked very scary that night, because a little bit after, while still in the same parking lot, a guy came up and asked if we had a dollar, and he went up to the passenger window to my friend, because he said I looked like I was going to shoot him. We gave him a buck 86, which was all we had left, and a cigarette.

Lol this had me cracking up for days because I thought you were a girl!

[Agent Ducky]

Lol this had me cracking up for days because I thought you were a girl!

I thought that too because of the avatar but yeah.... I realized before that that was not the case.

[Johnny Kerosene]

Lol this had me cracking up for days because I thought you were a girl!


I thought that too because of the avatar but yeah.... I realized before that that was not the case.

I always wondered if people thought that. My avatar is Nancy Spungen. The love of my life who died 15 years and 3 days before I was born.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Yeah doesn't eveybody imagine the other users as their avatar. When you think "A Revolutionary Tool" the real person don't you think of Che wearing a Bart t-shirt? I do...

[Agent Ducky]

Does that mean everyone thinks of me as a duck with a Fidel castro hat? Ok, that's kinda weird.

[ComradeGrant]

I don't flirt, which causes problems when people try to flirt with me. I was frantically writing a paper at lunch that was due the next period. I wasn't whatsoever in the mood to talk and this girl tried to flirt with me. I sort of avoided her until she asked what sort of thing I was into. I unintentionally shouted "writing about the socio-economic problems that led to the French Revolution of 1789!" She stared at me for a few minutes while I thought over what had just happened. We've been friends for 4 months and she still makes fun of me for it.

[Manic Impressive]

Yeah a little to late now. I have used that one before and she did like but I don't like saying it. Idk it just sounds creepy to me, like it's something Hannibal Lecter would say or something. If someone told me I had nice skin I'd be like get the hell away from me freaking zombie chick.
It's excellent advise from Stagger Lee. People like compliments but many women don't like it if you go up to them and say nice arse or nice tits so pick something that is a little different it will make you stand out and shows that you are not just treating them as an object. I used to go with teeth but skin is good or anything like that. With the nails thing your intention was good but your application was poor and your recovery sounds terrible you should have laughed it off possibly with a self deprecating joke and made clear what you actually wanted to say. You have much to learn young grasshopper

I had one a bit like Johnny's and this is worse than the others because it was fairly recent. I was in the pub and my mate had gone for a slash and he was taking ages so I drifted off into my own little world and started thinking about some deep philosophical shit. So this girl came over and said "Hi would you like to come and join us?" as she nodded at the table where her friends were sitting. I snapped out of my trance like state and replied "oh..er..no it's ok my mate will be back in a second". She looked disappointed as she turned to leave she muttered under her breathe "Fucking Homo"
:laugh:

[Agent Ducky]

I don't flirt, which causes problems when people try to flirt with me. I was frantically writing a paper at lunch that was due the next period. I wasn't whatsoever in the mood to talk and this girl tried to flirt with me. I sort of avoided her until she asked what sort of thing I was into. I unintentionally shouted "writing about the socio-economic problems that led to the French Revolution of 1789!" She stared at me for a few minutes while I thought over what had just happened. We've been friends for 4 months and she still makes fun of me for it.

I run into that problem too where I've had people hitting on me and I never have any interest so I always kinda just say random evasive shit until they get the point. I hate it when they don't get the point.

[Kamos]

While hammered one night in a club, I walked up to a gorgeous woman and said "You're the most gorgeous ... " and then I forgot what I was going to say, which was " ... person I've ever seen". But what came out was " ... person in the world."

And then, because my brain told me hyperbole! Bullshit! Coming on too strong! Be honest! I added, in an increasingly rambling and out-of-it way, "... I mean, maybe not in the whole world, I don't know, I haven't actually met everyone in the world, but you look quite nice..."

Two days later I found out she knew some mates of mine, who took the piss out me for about 4 months.


I don't flirt, which causes problems when people try to flirt with me. I was frantically writing a paper at lunch that was due the next period. I wasn't whatsoever in the mood to talk and this girl tried to flirt with me. I sort of avoided her until she asked what sort of thing I was into. I unintentionally shouted "writing about the socio-economic problems that led to the French Revolution of 1789!" She stared at me for a few minutes while I thought over what had just happened. We've been friends for 4 months and she still makes fun of me for it.

Hmm... you guys call these flirting fails? I call these pretty awesome responses. Then again, I'm not the hyper-social type either.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Does that mean everyone thinks of me as a duck with a Fidel castro hat? Ok, that's kinda weird.

You're not a duck? And I don't know how I forgot about this because it happened last Saturday. In this case this girl couldn't understand that I didn't like her at all. I'm 18 alright and this lady is 52 lol seriously. It was like a bbq with my family there and everything. We are all playing apples to apples and the adults are drunk and she starts to flirt with me and I'm just like whatever she's drunk. It got to the point where she shoved her tits in my face and I mean there was contact made it was weird. It got late and I got pretty drunk and she was sleeping. My uncle was the only one that didn't think she totally wanted me so I told him I could go up to where she was sleeping and get her to sleep with me. I was standing outside the door when I realized how pig disgusting I was being thank jeebuzz!

[Agent Ducky]

Na, I'm definitely a duck. I just may or may not have the anarchist A emblazoned on myself. =P

[Niccolò Rossi]

Idk it just sounds creepy to me, like it's something Hannibal Lecter would say or something.

Oh man, I cracked up laughing so hard when I read this. Well played sir.

Nic.

[Niccolò Rossi]

Funnily enough I often get commented on regarding my skin. Personally, I don't think I have very good skin at all. The main thing is that I don't have pimples really. Other than that I'm pail as office paper but I spose that appeals to some people, the 'porcelin' skin thing.

Nic.

[PhoenixAsh]

O...there was this girl once. She was in my class in uni and I thought she was very nice. I got nervous everytime she looked at me. She always smiled...and during breaks we would exchange glances.

One time...I was riding my bike to college and I ran into her and a group of her friends. She waved, smiled and made little kissing move with her mouth... I turned around to wave back and wink trying to look cool and stuff...

....riding my bike straight into the canal.


(we went on a dat a few weeks later. because well...if you are that humiliated you get past your nervousnes. It kinda breaks the ice. She brought a towel with her...just in case she said I was going to get nervous again :D )

[Blake's Baby]

I was walking this girl home after a night out, I had fancied her for several months and thought that something would at last happen. However, I was hit by a car while crossing the road near her house (she was a few steps ahead of me and made the pavement OK) and I spent 6 days in hospital. Needless to say I wasn't getting any that night.

Unlike Hindsight's heartwarming tale, when I came out of hospital my parents took me back home to convalesce - I was away at uni when the accident happened - and I didn't go back to uni for a couple of months. She was going out with someone else by then...

[Angry Young Man]

I'm just generally an epic flirting fail. If it's someone I want to bone a clamp goes around my voice box and I'm like a bunny in the headlights; but if I could flirt to win some sort of favour, I can't do that either

[Angry Young Man]

Why do middle-aged women always seem to adore me? Why oh why can't it be seventeen-year-old boys? :crying:

Don't you look at me like that. They're old enough!

[Spawn of Stalin]

NRHba4IAdsI

[Bandito]

When I saw the thread title, a flashback immediately raped my mind.

I walk into a bar and see a good friend of mine sitting with someone. I just went to say a quick "hi" and there I saw the most beautiful looking girl that ever existed sitting right next to her. Blue eyes, long black curly hair and a smile that illuminates. I didn't chicken out or anything of that sort, I smiled and started talking to my friend, constantly making eye contact with the woman of my dreams. There was "something", because she kept smiling back at me and the chemistry was there...

I forgot to mention two things. First one is, my name starts with letter M. Second one is, I have allergies.

I reached down to shake her hand while introducing myself, said my name, but the first letter of my name and a nose full of slime made a fucking huge slobber balloon that exploded in a nanosecond.

Something like this:http://awkwardkidphotos.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/nose-balloon.jpg

Needless to say, I was out of there quicker than that fucking balloon took.

[Quail]

^ Haha, sexy.

I'm not really much of a flirt. Don't have the confidence. So I don't really put myself out there to fail in the first place.

[Тачанка]

There was this one time, on a trip with my school class, when I sat on my bed and this one girl came in and sat down next to me.

We talked for a bit about this and that.

She smiled a lot, was actually kind of laughing. Thought she liked me.

Once she was gone, I saw my penis sticking out of my pants.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

O...there was this girl once. She was in my class in uni and I thought she was very nice. I got nervous everytime she looked at me. She always smiled...and during breaks we would exchange glances.

One time...I was riding my bike to college and I ran into her and a group of her friends. She waved, smiled and made little kissing move with her mouth... I turned around to wave back and wink trying to look cool and stuff...

....riding my bike straight into the canal.


(we went on a dat a few weeks later. because well...if you are that humiliated you get past your nervousnes. It kinda breaks the ice. She brought a towel with her...just in case she said I was going to get nervous again :D )

Now that is an epic fail!

[A Revolutionary Tool]

There was this one time, on a trip with my school class, when I sat on my bed and this one girl came in and sat down next to me.

We talked for a bit about this and that.

She smiled a lot, was actually kind of laughing. Thought she liked me.

Once she was gone, I saw my penis sticking out of my pants.

wtf! How did that happen?

[Buitraker]

there was this one time, on a trip with my school class, when i sat on my bed and this one girl came in and sat down next to me.

We talked for a bit about this and that.

She smiled a lot, was actually kind of laughing. Thought she liked me.

Once she was gone, i saw my penis sticking out of my pants.
lol

[Tommy4ever]

There was this one time, on a trip with my school class, when I sat on my bed and this one girl came in and sat down next to me.

We talked for a bit about this and that.

She smiled a lot, was actually kind of laughing. Thought she liked me.

Once she was gone, I saw my penis sticking out of my pants.

:laugh:

[Тачанка]

I think I let it breathe some fresh air before she came in...

[Luís Henrique]

"Nice...uhh...feet". *Facepalm*
She looked at me strange and said "what" and then started laughing. She then knew me as "foot fetish" guy for the rest of the year before she moved. :cool:

You should have fled forward.

- Nice... uhh... feet.
- What? ha ha ha ha
- They indeed look like lollypops, yum.

Luís Henrique

[Matty_UK]

OK I have a pretty good one from the other night. University is over so I went for farewell drinks with some friends from my course, and I was sitting with this one girl who, without exaggeration, is probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, or certainly the most beautiful girl out of all my facebook friends at least. We were having our photo taken together, and when we had a look at the photo she says, "aw, we look just like we're brother and sister!" Then she raises her glass and says "To siblings!" I try and think of some other sibling related word to raise my glass to, and what comes out in response?

"Yeah.... to incest!"

She took it in good humour though thankfully.

[ZeroNowhere]

It's excellent advise from Stagger Lee. People like compliments but many women don't like it if you go up to them and say nice arse or nice tits so pick something that is a little different it will make you stand out and shows that you are not just treating them as an object.
Indeed, as skin is not an object, but is rather subjective. In fact, many individuals who are homosexual or heterosexual or somewhere in between tend to find that their skin flirts with people completely against their intentions and better judgement.


You should have fled forward.

- Nice... uhh... feet.
- What? ha ha ha ha
- They indeed look like lollypops, yum.

Luís HenriqueIndeed, you would have nothing to lose but your dignity, which is to say that you would have nothing to lose.


I sort of avoided her until she asked what sort of thing I was into. I unintentionally shouted "writing about the socio-economic problems that led to the French Revolution of 1789!"My response to a similar question would probably be something along the lines of, 'Theorizing about various matters related to political economy, philosophy and related fields'. This is why I am fortunate to be asexual.


While hammered one night in a club, I walked up to a gorgeous woman and said "You're the most gorgeous ... " and then I forgot what I was going to say, which was " ... person I've ever seen". But what came out was " ... person in the world."

And then, because my brain told me hyperbole! Bullshit! Coming on too strong! Be honest! I added, in an increasingly rambling and out-of-it way, "... I mean, maybe not in the whole world, I don't know, I haven't actually met everyone in the world, but you look quite nice..."'I mean, you're not Helen of Troy or anything, and you could do with a brief diet, but I suppose that given these limitations you are at least satisfactory in most criteria which I would use in determining gorgeousness, which, given evolutionary influence upon human attraction, should mean that you are quite fertile, although on the other hand taking into account the fact that I am not presently capable of making a sober assessment it is quite possible that you would in fact appear more ordinary in an ordinary context and as such perhaps it would be best to withhold judgement at the present moment, so could you please meet me later in order to verify this in a more scientific manner?'


OK I have a pretty good one from the other night. University is over so I went for farewell drinks with some friends from my course, and I was sitting with this one girl who, without exaggeration, is probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, or certainly the most beautiful girl out of all my facebook friends at least. We were having our photo taken together, and when we had a look at the photo she says, "aw, we look just like we're brother and sister!" Then she raises her glass and says "To siblings!" I try and think of some other sibling related word to raise my glass to, and what comes out in response?

"Yeah.... to incest!"

She took it in good humour though thankfully.If only she were a Freudian.

[bailey_187]

OK I have a pretty good one from the other night. University is over so I went for farewell drinks with some friends from my course, and I was sitting with this one girl who, without exaggeration, is probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, or certainly the most beautiful girl out of all my facebook friends at least. We were having our photo taken together, and when we had a look at the photo she says, "aw, we look just like we're brother and sister!" Then she raises her glass and says "To siblings!" I try and think of some other sibling related word to raise my glass to, and what comes out in response?

"Yeah.... to incest!"

She took it in good humour though thankfully.

if someone comapres u to being a sibling, flirting is a lost cause

[ZeroNowhere]

if someone comapres u to being a sibling, flirting is a lost causeNot necessarily, insofar as it constitutes the belief that nature would be more appropriately constituted if one were to share one's genes with them.

[Matty_UK]

if someone comapres u to being a sibling, flirting is a lost cause

Oh she is way out of my league anyway, and best friends with my ex, so I wasn't really trying to flirt - but still, it was a pretty funny slip of the tongue.

[La Comédie Noire]

So many stories where I've just been obnoxiously drunk and failed hard.

[Il Medico]

I really got to wonder if there will ever be a "tell an epic story from your past" thread that Dervim will not have the best story.

[☭The Revolution☭]

I liked a girl once. I decided to surprise her by building her a diamond house, and fixed it all up nicely with a bed, a crafting table, a furnace, and a ladder that went down 20 blocks into her own personal mine. There was even an obsidian portal to the nether. She griefed it and blew the rest up with TNT, leaving me there next to a huge crater and it was starting to get dark. Talk about a *****.

[bailey_187]

Not necessarily, insofar as it constitutes the belief that nature would be more appropriately constituted if one were to share one's genes with them.

from what i seen, when for example, a girl says to a boy hes like her brother or whatever, it expresses that they are close but it is plutonic. More people need to understand this, because i see all these whiteknighting simps on facebook with girls as "sister", even tho i know what theyre hoping for, smh, theyre just setting themselves up for a fall

by the way, im not saying theres anything wrong with being close to a girl and it being plutonic, alot of my close friends are girls, i just dont expect that we're going to fuck, as theyre just friends

[Agent Ducky]

I liked a girl once. I decided to surprise her by building her a diamond house, and fixed it all up nicely with a bed, a crafting table, a furnace, and a ladder that went down 20 blocks into her own personal mine. There was even an obsidian portal to the nether. She griefed it and blew the rest up with TNT, leaving me there next to a huge crater and it was starting to get dark. Talk about a *****.

Maybe she just likes destruction. Can't blame people for liking destruction. Lmao.

[Spawn of Stalin]

I lost my virginity
to a girl
who was like my sister
we were supposed to be bffs
now we don't talk so much

[Kamos]

from what i seen, when for example, a girl says to a boy hes like her brother or whatever, it expresses that they are close but it is plutonic.

Plutonic? Hmm.

plu·ton·ic (plhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/oomacr.gif-thttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/obreve.gifnhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/prime.gifhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/ibreve.gifk)adj. Of deep igneous or magmatic origin: plutonic rocks.

Does this mean it's a really hot relationship?

[Rusty Shackleford]

Plutonic? Hmm.

plu·ton·ic (plhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/oomacr.gif-thttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/obreve.gifnhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/prime.gifhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/ibreve.gifk)adj. Of deep igneous or magmatic origin: plutonic rocks.

Does this mean it's a really hot relationship?
plutocratic perhaps?

[∞]

I went up to a girl I really liked and said "If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes..."-She punched my face

I went up to another girl after we read about Nietzsche I came up to her and said, "before god died he told me that we should totally have sex right now, his words not mine"-she stabbed my eye with a pencil

I also remember after physics class I went up to another girl and said "Space-time isn't the only thing thats curved"-she giggled then proceeded beat me savagely with her textbook

I remember after we read over Marx in history I told a girl "What time do you get off work?'Cause I feel an uprising in my lower class"-She was just confused

:(, I will die alone.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

One time there was a girl walking by and she was carrying a few boxes of cakes. So I told her "nice cakes". She looked at me all disgusted and then I pointed at the cakes she was holding and said "those are nice cakes." Then she laughed and I laughed and we parted ways. For those who don't know the slang where I live cakes can be slang for someones ass. She really had nice cakes too.

[NoOneIsIllegal]

One time there was a girl walking by and she was carrying a few boxes of cakes. So I told her "nice cakes". She looked at me all disgusted and then I pointed out "oh, you bake too?" Then she laughed and beat me savagely.
Made your story more realistic, brah.

[Robocommie]

Does that mean everyone thinks of me as a duck with a Fidel castro hat? Ok, that's kinda weird.

I guess that means people see me as Edward Said. I hope so anyway.

[Robocommie]

I went up to a girl I really liked and said "If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes..."-She punched my face

I went up to another girl after we read about Nietzsche I came up to her and said, "before god died he told me that we should totally have sex right now, his words not mine"-she stabbed my eye with a pencil

I also remember after physics class I went up to another girl and said "Space-time isn't the only thing thats curved"-she giggled then proceeded beat me savagely with her textbook

I remember after we read over Marx in history I told a girl "What time do you get off work?'Cause I feel an uprising in my lower class"-She was just confused

:(, I will die alone.

Those lines would have worked on me dog

[∞]

Those lines would have worked on me dog

Really?:blushing:

[Chambered Word]

I went up to a girl I really liked and said "If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes..."-She punched my face

I went up to another girl after we read about Nietzsche I came up to her and said, "before god died he told me that we should totally have sex right now, his words not mine"-she stabbed my eye with a pencil

I also remember after physics class I went up to another girl and said "Space-time isn't the only thing thats curved"-she giggled then proceeded beat me savagely with her textbook

I remember after we read over Marx in history I told a girl "What time do you get off work?'Cause I feel an uprising in my lower class"-She was just confused

:(, I will die alone.

Best post ITT, I laughed.


Funnily enough I often get commented on regarding my skin. Personally, I don't think I have very good skin at all. The main thing is that I don't have pimples really. Other than that I'm pail as office paper but I spose that appeals to some people, the 'porcelin' skin thing.

Nic.

This reminds me of a girl in my English class who used to act really snooty towards me (and comes off as pretentious in general) who, after I argued with her heatedly in class once about some bit of assholery she was pulling on me, she was really nice afterwards and actually asked me to sit with her. She once told her friend that I have nice skin, which is something I would never expect to be complimented on. She's a bit of a weird one.

[L.A.P.]

There was a hot Cuban chick in my history class who constantly looked at me and me having aspergers (maybe) couldn't look back and acknowledge her. So then I posted on RevLeft asking what should I do and of course didn't help much. I come to school really high and decided that I would finally make a move;

xx1994xx:"Hey, you friends with that blonde girl?"

Her friend:*nods head*

xx1994xx: "She have a boyfriend?"

Her friend:*slowly nods head awkwardly*

xx1994xx:"God damn it."*turns around and walks away*

I later found out towards the end of this school year that I scare the girls in that class.*facepalms* Fortunately I found out I didn't scare them in a creepy way but in an intimidating way. Apparently I give off this vibe that I don't want to waste my time talking to someone and just want to tell them to fuck off. This isn't even bad compared to other times when I get fucked over or fuck up with girls. I could start a blog on this shit.

[Luís Henrique]

plutonic

Plutonic love is hell.

Luís Henrique

[Political_Chucky]

Well my story goes like this. I saw a waitress at a casino and thought she was extremely gorgeous. Very hottttttttttt. Anyways, I asked my friend who works with her at the casino who she was and he told me she was 42(she definitely looks 23 the most) with an 18 year old son(I'm 22). Well, that pretty much made me lose all chance with that so I just forgot about it. Apparently, he went and told her that I had the hots for her and she then wanted to meet me. He sent her a pic of me and I was pretty much setup to meet her.

Last night I met her at the bar of the casino with her friends and I choked. Absolutely blank mind. You know those awkward silences that just kind of make more noise then they aren't silent? Yep. That's what happened. I had nothing to say. She initiated some conversation and we had some small talk, but it was pretty much a disaster. But I did end up still getting her number, but that first impression will probably destroy any chances IMO, but I guess we'll see.

[Spawn of Stalin]

That would be dope if you could say, marry her and assume fatherhood of someone basically the same age as you

[Robocommie]

Really?:blushing:
:wub:

[Das war einmal]

After I had some success with a girl on a festival last year, I had to puke. Apparently that is regarded as a downer.

[Pretty Flaco]

I've never had problems flirting. Except sometimes I can be dumb and flirt without knowing it. lol

[praxis1966]

This reminds me of a girl in my English class who used to act really snooty towards me (and comes off as pretentious in general) who, after I argued with her heatedly in class once about some bit of assholery she was pulling on me, she was really nice afterwards and actually asked me to sit with her. She once told her friend that I have nice skin, which is something I would never expect to be complimented on. She's a bit of a weird one.

Some people are just like that I find. I used to work in this restaurant which employed these straw boss types (you know the kind, they usually have some stupid title like "shift leader" or "third key") and one of them was a woman about my own age. She used to bust my chops with regularity (she was kind of a bully to the peons).

One day, I remember I was on a double shift, the second half of which had just started. My knees were killing me (the result of old soccer injuries) so I sat down for like two seconds when she comes around the corner and starts yelling at me, "Hey, get the fuck up, and I don't wanna here any shit about how you're tired from a double either! I was at school all fucking morning, I'm tired too and you don't see me sitting on my ass!" So I look at her and say, "Hey, why don't you call 1-800-Who-Gives-A-Fuck and tell them all about it because I damned sure don't?!" She just looked at me, stunned, and walked off.

A couple of weeks later, me, her and this other guy we worked with were out drinking ironically enough when she looks at him and says, "You know what I like about Praxis? He stands up for himself. Sometimes, the shit that comes out of his mouth, I just don't have an answer for. I respect that. I can't stand people who are pushovers."

[Robocommie]

I liked a girl once. I decided to surprise her by building her a diamond house, and fixed it all up nicely with a bed, a crafting table, a furnace, and a ladder that went down 20 blocks into her own personal mine. There was even an obsidian portal to the nether. She griefed it and blew the rest up with TNT, leaving me there next to a huge crater and it was starting to get dark. Talk about a *****.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. She sounds like a creeper.

GET IT.

[Agent Ducky]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. She sounds like a creeper.

GET IT.

WIN WIN WIN. Where is the thank button, dammit?

[Agent Ducky]

I remember after we read over Marx in history I told a girl "What time do you get off work?'Cause I feel an uprising in my lower class"-She was just confused
Actually, someone tried something like this on me after I just got done talking about communism and labor uprisings and I was just like "....... Did you really just say that?"

[Chambered Word]

Yeah I was thinking the same thing, about those types of people and such. I was much less witty and more of a bitter asshole when I told this girl off. :lol:


I later found out towards the end of this school year that I scare the girls in that class.*facepalms* Fortunately I found out I didn't scare them in a creepy way but in an intimidating way. Apparently I give off this vibe that I don't want to waste my time talking to someone and just want to tell them to fuck off.

I think I give off this vibe too. I guess it's unfortunate, although admittedly sometimes I do just want to tell people to fuck off instead of wasting time talking to them.

[scarletghoul]

girl: "is that chairman mao on your shirt ?"
me: "yep, one of the baddest motherfuckers to ever live"
turns out she is tibetan and her father works for the dalai lama

[∞]

girl: "is that chairman mao on your shirt ?"
me: "yep, one of the baddest motherfuckers to ever live"
turns out she is tibetan and her father works for the dalai lama

lol.

[Magón]

lol.

+ ∞

[L.A.P.]

I think I give off this vibe too. I guess it's unfortunate, although admittedly sometimes I do just want to tell people to fuck off instead of wasting time talking to them.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I can't stand to look people in the eye and have a pointless conversation with them and it's mainly because I can't help it. I don't have anything relevant to say in such an irrelevant conversation and looking people in the eye makes me incredibly uncomfortable and drives me crazy (which is why I think I may have asperegers). Although I sometimes just think in my head "why the fuck are you talking to me about this?" when it's someone who really has no depth which is often the case. I guess it's not the worst thing if you look at it as you're the "quiet cool guy" whom all the girls are afraid to approach because they feel they are not worthy.

[Nietzsche's Ghost]

I don't know if this counts as a flirting fail necessarily. One night I had waaaaaaayyyyyy to much to drink and couldn't tell these three girls at a party apart. I was so drunk I was talking to the three of them as if they were one woman. I slept alone that night :crying:

[REVLEFT'S BIEGGST MATSER TROL]

Although I sometimes just think in my head "why the fuck are you talking to me about this?" when it's someone who really has no depth which is often the case. I guess it's not the worst thing if you look at it as you're the "quiet cool guy" whom all the girls are afraid to approach because they feel they are not worthy.

lol

[L.A.P.]

lol

In a sad way.

[Chambered Word]

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I can't stand to look people in the eye and have a pointless conversation with them and it's mainly because I can't help it. I don't have anything relevant to say in such an irrelevant conversation and looking people in the eye makes me incredibly uncomfortable and drives me crazy (which is why I think I may have asperegers). Although I sometimes just think in my head "why the fuck are you talking to me about this?" when it's someone who really has no depth which is often the case. I guess it's not the worst thing if you look at it as you're the "quiet cool guy" whom all the girls are afraid to approach because they feel they are not worthy.

I'm somewhat known for being really chilled out and not giving a shit generally. On the other hand, some people reckon I'm really fun to get drunk and party with.

I don't think girls feel unworthy around me, I think they feel they don't have much in common with me (they'd probably be right). There's one girl I suspect is too timid to approach me in real life, but I dunno.

I know how you feel though. It almost feels physically painful for me to listen to someone talk about shit I'm not at all interested in and then try to relate to it and reply in turn. :sleep:

[punisa]

I was out with two friends one night. She and him started this boring debate about parenting and what not... Me being bored (and already drunk) decided to go for some flirt-athon :)
I noticed 4 girls drinking and laughing by the bar, went there and approached them with some dumb liner like - my friends are not fun, can I drink with you guys?
Then they all introduced each other and just 10 seconds later this girl says: "Now say our names". And I couldn't remember one :lol:
Partially cause I was drunk and partially cause I almost never catch anybody's name when introducing myself :laugh:

[Obs]

Last Saturday I was out drinking with some buddies from my party, and one of our non-member hangers-on was there too, (plus some other people but they don't matter so fuck it nvm). So, the hanger-on girl and I are pretty good friends, and we've had a bunch of good times together, and at some point during the night while we were fucking hammered, I take her out and start talking all sorts of stupid shit until we end up making out.

Now - I am 17 and she's 24, and one thing she mentions is that I'm so much younger than her. Well, of course, I try my best to seem maturer than my age would imply... Just kidding! My hormones mix with the alcohol and I turn into a grabby, obnoxious punk. Seriously, my hands are everywhere.

I still haven't texted her or anything. I'm seriously scared to death that she hates me now.

[praxis1966]

This one I gotta break into bits because we're dealing with several different issues here...


Last Saturday I was out drinking with some buddies from my party, and one of our non-member hangers-on was there too, (plus some other people but they don't matter so fuck it nvm). So, the hanger-on girl and I are pretty good friends, and we've had a bunch of good times together, and at some point during the night while we were fucking hammered, I take her out and start talking all sorts of stupid shit until we end up making out.

First of all, you posted this in the wrong damned thread, homie. Whether you're male or female and no matter what your sexual preference is, if you set about to flirt with somebody and you wind up making out with them (assuming you haven't coerced them somehow), that's a flirting win... Not a fail. :lol:


Now - I am 17 and she's 24, and one thing she mentions is that I'm so much younger than her. Well, of course, I try my best to seem maturer than my age would imply... Just kidding! My hormones mix with the alcohol and I turn into a grabby, obnoxious punk. Seriously, my hands are everywhere.

This is where it gets tricky. On the one hand, I'd like to chalk it up to the two of you just being drunk and stupid. On the other hand, a drunk man's words are often a sober man's thoughts... En vino veritas, as the Latin saying goes. In other words, if she weren't attracted to you in the first place she probably wouldn't have allowed anything to happen. I'm thinking she had an eye for you but didn't act on it sooner because of the age difference you mentioned.


I still haven't texted her or anything. I'm seriously scared to death that she hates me now.

I, for one, would call her if I were you... I have a feeling she's gonna want to put the kibosh on the whole thing, again because of the age difference, but I'm assuming you still have amicable feelings toward this person and it would be silly to let that go over one night of drunken stupidity. The two of you trying to pretend it never happened is only going to make things more awkward the next time you see her anyway. Anyway, unless you literally forced yourself on her against her will, or intentionally set about to get her drunk so you could take advantage of her, I seriously doubt she hates you.

As an aside, I'd just like to note that we'd all be calling you a scumbag if you were 24 and she was 17... It's funny because you were obviously a willing participant, but I'm almost always of the mind that when people in their mid 20s start messing around with teenagers there's something wrong with them... I wouldn't call her a child molester or anything, but still...

[∞]

Last Saturday I was out drinking with some buddies from my party, and one of our non-member hangers-on was there too, (plus some other people but they don't matter so fuck it nvm). So, the hanger-on girl and I are pretty good friends, and we've had a bunch of good times together, and at some point during the night while we were fucking hammered, I take her out and start talking all sorts of stupid shit until we end up making out.

Now - I am 17 and she's 24, and one thing she mentions is that I'm so much younger than her. Well, of course, I try my best to seem maturer than my age would imply... Just kidding! My hormones mix with the alcohol and I turn into a grabby, obnoxious punk. Seriously, my hands are everywhere.

I still haven't texted her or anything. I'm seriously scared to death that she hates me now.

I'm 17 and I only fantasize about that kind of stuff. You lucky bastard.

[Obs]

As an aside, I'd just like to note that we'd all be calling you a scumbag if you were 24 and she was 17... It's funny because you were obviously a willing participant, but I'm almost always of the mind that when people in their mid 20s start messing around with teenagers there's something wrong with them... I wouldn't call her a child molester or anything, but still...

Hey, now, let's not make me more of a loser than I already am - I seduced her.

Thanks for the advice, though. It's getting late, so I think I'll call her tomorrow.

[praxis1966]

Hey, now, let's not make me more of a loser than I already am - I seduced her.

Hahaha Dude, that's not what I was saying. I don't think you're a loser.


Thanks for the advice, though. It's getting late, so I think I'll call her tomorrow.

No prob, Bob.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

I was out with two friends one night. She and him started this boring debate about parenting and what not... Me being bored (and already drunk) decided to go for some flirt-athon :)
I noticed 4 girls drinking and laughing by the bar, went there and approached them with some dumb liner like - my friends are not fun, can I drink with you guys?
Then they all introduced each other and just 10 seconds later this girl says: "Now say our names". And I couldn't remember one :lol:
Partially cause I was drunk and partially cause I almost never catch anybody's name when introducing myself :laugh:
Dude I do this all the time, it's so annoying. I'll shake someone's hand and they'll introduce themselves and 5 seconds later I'll whisper to my friend "what was that person's name again?" And that's when I'm not drunk :(

[Obs]

No prob, Bob.

An update in case you were curious how it went (you weren't, but whatev) - I called her and it turns out she hadn't even minded any of my stupid grabby shit. Though we didn't really talk about what happens now, I did definitely get the feeling that this was a one-time experience only, and that's probably for the best.

[praxis1966]

An update in case you were curious how it went (you weren't, but whatev) - I called her and it turns out she hadn't even minded any of my stupid grabby shit. Though we didn't really talk about what happens now, I did definitely get the feeling that this was a one-time experience only, and that's probably for the best.

Actually, I was... Which accounts for why I'm responding now, lulz. I kind of figured that it was going to wind up a one off, but at least the two of you have cleared the air so shit doesn't get weird the next time you hang out.:)

As an aside, when's your 18th birthday? :lol:

[Obs]

Actually, I was... Which accounts for why I'm responding now, lulz. I kind of figured that it was going to wind up a one off, but at least the two of you have cleared the air so shit doesn't get weird the next time you hang out.:)

As an aside, when's your 18th birthday? :lol:
Heh, September. Why?

[Luisrah]

Heh, September. Why?

I don't know about what are you country regulations, but in case it is, it's not much 'till it starts being legal haha :)

[Obs]

I don't know about what are you country regulations, but in case it is, it's not much 'till it starts being legal haha :)
Ohh, like that, haha. Well, being Danish, I've been legal since I was 15.

[praxis1966]

Ohh, like that, haha. Well, being Danish, I've been legal since I was 15.

:laugh: Damn, B, you guys don't have any concept of adolescence, huh?

[Quail]

I don't know if this counts as a flirting fail necessarily. One night I had waaaaaaayyyyyy to much to drink and couldn't tell these three girls at a party apart. I was so drunk I was talking to the three of them as if they were one woman. I slept alone that night :crying:
I get people's names wrong when I've had far too much to drink, it's pretty embarrassing.