Comunism and the Devil

[Jesus Lives]

Communism is one of the many ideologies of the devil. Anything which seeks to deny the existence of our lord God is nothing but a product of SATAN. How can you not see this? It (communism) has killed more people than anthing everr. I hope you'll someday find the road to Christ.

[elijahcraig]

CLOSE.

spam

[Jesus Lives]

Please as one child of God to another, listen. You know what I'm saying is true. You feel it deep down inside you. I know you do. Please, please don't wait until its too late.

[elijahcraig]

You have to be joking.

I have to doubt ANYONE is THAT^ stupid.

[Jesus Lives]

The wisdom of our saviour is hardly what I would call stupidity, sir.

[elijahcraig]

Yes, but you do call communism the devil..so I couldn’t give a shit “what you’d call” anything.

[Jesus Lives]

Why are you so hateful?

[elijahcraig]

I don’t appreciate dogmatic ****s like yourself. I actually hate dogmatic ****s like yourself.

[(*]

Originally posted by Jesus [email protected] 3 2003, 06:43 PM
Anything which seeks to deny the existence of our lord God is nothing but a product of SATAN. How can you not see this? I hope you'll someday find the road to Christ.

Communism is one of the many ideologies of the devil.

Please tell me about some other ideologies the devil has. Does he have a new book out?




It (communism) has killed more people than anthing everr.

I vaguely recall something refered to as the "Crusades"
Tell me, how many millions of people were killed?

[Vinny Rafarino]

Alas, I fear it is much too late for me. Yeterday the devil spoke to me through a dog around the way and advised me that once the first communist nation appears, the anti-christ will appear on the Earth to lead his new Satanic red-army to global triumph. I will be rewarded with girls and caviar.

Can't turn down an offer like that you know.

[CompadreGuerrillera]

Oh boy! Call the Exorcist! I am guilty and should be put to the stake and burned for being SATANIC, realize this! Christianity(Roman Catholic Empire) has prolly killed the most ppl, and has been notorious for authoritarianism, and practiced against ur ideology. Secondly, a preist who preaches to ppl what the word"of god" is, is basically practicing mind control, if you need to be religious, come up with ur OWN intereperatation.

Now you may leave :lol:

[Xvall]

Communism is one of the many ideologies of the devil. Anything which seeks to deny the existence of our lord God is nothing but a product of SATAN. How can you not see this?

LOL


It (communism) has killed more people than anthing everr.

Wait a minute. Didn't the god in your bible drown every living creature on the whole damn earth just for the hell of it?


I hope you'll someday find the road to Christ

We'll take the detour; thanks.

[Jesus Lives]

-Please tell me about some other ideologies the devil has. Does he have a new book out?


Witchcraft, socery, buddhism, islam, and anything not of Christ. All things which come from the world originate in sin no matter how benevolent they may seem.

[Xvall]

At this point I'm pretty sure you're not even a Christian. If you really are, seek mental assistance. Either way, go away. You are simply bothering us.

[Jesus Lives]

-I vaguely recall something refered to as the "Crusades"
Tell me, how many millions of people were killed?


The true church of christ is not something that's physical. it is composed of the spiritual power of all whom the Holy spirit dwells within.

[(*]

Originally posted by Jesus [email protected] 3 2003, 08:32 PM

Witchcraft, socery, buddhism, islam, and anything not of Christ. All things which come from the world originate in sin no matter how benevolent they may seem.
That really shows how little you know.

First off, you forgot Judaism...which is "not of Christ"

Second, Islam holds Christ and Mary in very high regard. In fact, the Koran talks more about Mary than the bible in its many revisions.

[Jesus Lives]

-Wait a minute. Didn't the god in your bible drown every living creature on the whole damn earth just for the hell of it?


God purged the earth because it was corrupted by the wickedness of man.

[(*]

Originally posted by Jesus [email protected] 3 2003, 08:36 PM


The true church of christ is not something that's physical. it is composed of the spiritual power of all whom the Holy spirit dwells within.
You probably don't even know what you just typed. :lol:

[Sensitive]

Hail Satan! :D

[Jesus Lives]

Yes i do, The church of christ is composed of a body of believers not a physical church of popes and cardanals.

[(*]

Originally posted by (*+Oct 3 2003, 08:38 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE ((* @ Oct 3 2003, 08:38 PM)
Jesus [email protected] 3 2003, 08:32 PM

Witchcraft, socery, buddhism, islam, and anything not of Christ. All things which come from the world originate in sin no matter how benevolent they may seem.
That really shows how little you know.

First off, you forgot Judaism...which is "not of Christ"

Second, Islam holds Christ and Mary in very high regard. In fact, the Koran talks more about Mary than the bible in its many revisions. [/b]
I&#39;d really like to hear your comments on what I said here ^

[Jesus Lives]

Judaism is outdated. only a few of the followers of judaism will be saved after the seven year tribulation. it doesn&#39;t matter if islam hold jesus in high regard it is still wrong.

[kitty44]

Originally posted by Jesus [email protected] 4 2003, 12:59 AM
Judaism is outdated. only a few of the followers of judaism will be saved after the seven year tribulation. it doesn&#39;t matter if islam hold jesus in high regard it is still wrong.
Who said that Judaism is outdated??? And haven&#39;t a lot of ppl been killed in the name of God and Christianity???

[Vinny Rafarino]

After a two-year hiatus from basketball, Jesus Christ returned to the NBA last night, playing with his
former team, the Atlanta Hawks. Christ, who quit the sport in May 1994 to focus on spreading His message of universal love and compassion, made His triumphant return last night against the Bulls, just in time for Easter Sunday. The return of Christ, who averaged 18.2 points and 7.3 assists per game
during his 10-year NBA career, has excited success-hungry Hawks fans, who are calling Him the team&#39;s "Savior."

Said Atlanta resident and devout Christian Jeff Voorhees,
"Jesus is Lord."

Christ&#39;s decision to return to the Hawks surprised insiders, considering for years the Nazareth
native had been crucified by the Atlanta press. Ever since He was drafted third overall out of Texas A&M in 1986, Christ has been labeled "too passive and forgiving" to ever lead the Hawks to the promised land. Christ, however, has decided to turn the other cheek.

"I forgive Atlanta Journal-Constitution sportswriter Stan
Sheridan," Christ said. "He knows not what he writes."

The closest Christ came to signing with another team came in December, when He spent 40 days
and 40 nights in the desert with Detroit Pistons coach Doug Collins. After consulting His father, God, Christ decided to turn down the Pistons&#39; offer of 30 gold pieces.

"Get thee behind me, Coach Collins,"
Christ reportedly said.

Though some say the media led Christ to quit basketball, many contend He quit after being
betrayed by teammate Kevin Willis during a 1994 Celtics-Hawks playoff game. With three seconds left and the Hawks trailing by one, Christ was wide open underneath the basket for an easy lay-up. Instead
of passing to Christ, Willis took a wild shot from three-point range, missing the net completely. After the
game, a visibly upset Christ stretched out His arms and said,"Kevin Willis, why hast thou forsaken me?"

Despite the controversies, Hawks teammates and personnel are
excited
to have Christ back.

Forward Stacey Augmon, just one of the many Hawks players who claims to have a personal relationship with Christ, said,"He&#39;s taught me so much, like how to love your enemies as yourself, to pray for those who hurt you, and when to pass up the three in favor of a higher percentage shot."

Fans also eagerly await the return of Christ&#39;s "Ascension Dunk," a crowd favorite. In the patented dunk, Christ leaps His less-than-league-average 24-inch vertical, then miraculously ascends toward Heaven, floating in mid-air just long enough to stuff the ball. An accompanying angelic choir momentarily stuns His defenders as the ball comes crashingdown on their heads. The move wowed audiences at NBA All-Star Slam-N-Jam dunk competitions for two years in a row.

A three-time NBA All-Star, Christ impressed team doctors during a brief, closed-door workout Friday, in which He displayed His still-sharp shooting skills, dribbling ability and overwhelming love for all mankind.

Team doctors also noted that in contrast to most players who take layoffs, Christ&#39;s body fat is just 3 percent, even lower than when He was playing. Christ attributed the low figure to His recent food-free, 2,000-year out-of-body reign in His Father&#39;s Kingdom.

Meanwhile, the league made a special ruling regarding Christ&#39;s crown of thorns, deciding that He may wear the headpiece only so long as He does not "unwittingly anoint a player with the forgiving power of His Holy Blood."

Though Hawks fans seem certain Christ can help the team,some NBA experts question whether Jesus is the Answer.

"The healing power of His Holy Love may get the Hawks into the playoffs, but they can&#39;t ride it alone to the
championship," NBA commentator Hubie Brown said. "What theyreally need is a solid power forward who can fill the lane, someone like Cliff Robinson."

Some analysts think that Christ&#39;s injuries, along with His added age, may slow Him down.

"Christ isn&#39;t going to be 32 forever, and, quite frankly, He hasn&#39;t been the same since the Romans drove holes into His hands and feet," NBA analyst and former coach Chuck Daly said. "A painful
stigmata injury is difficult to overcome, and it may affect
His shooting touch. Still, I&#39;m pretty confident He can rise again."

[(*]

Originally posted by Jesus [email protected] 3 2003, 08:59 PM
Judaism is outdated. only a few of the followers of judaism will be saved after the seven year tribulation. it doesn&#39;t matter if islam hold jesus in high regard it is still wrong.
So you are a hypocrite...

According to your logic.

How can Islam be "wrong" if it is "of Christ" ?

*EDIT*
I just read your post on the "caged kiddies greetings" thread. You are 13... :lol: that really explains a lot&#33;

[Vinny Rafarino]

Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing when Jesus says, "I want to perform a miracle so it will feel like the good old days."

Moses says, "Yeah, sure."


So Jesus gets up and says "I think I&#39;ll walk on water, that was always a good one."


So Jesus walks over to the edge of the boat, steps into the water and sinks like a stone. Moses drags him back into the boat and revives him.


Moses says, "What&#39;s the problem?"


Jesus replies, "I don&#39;t know, but it could be these holes in my feet&#33;"

[El Brujo]

No, no, no people. What Jesus Lives is saying is 100% correct.

I am a member of the the underground black, jew, gay, communist, nazi, atheist, muslim, pagan and satanist unamerican conspiracy. On judgement day, we&#39;re plotting to ransack the house of every decent, God-fearing American, kill his family, rape his dog and eat his children. Why? because we simply are evil, inhuman sadists who take extreme pleasure in the pain of others... and because Jerry Lee Lewis told us to (through subliminal messages in his songs).

[Vinny Rafarino]

Dress up Jesus (http://www.jesusdressup.com/#)



LAGUNA HILLS, CA—It is a typical Sunday in this conservative Orange County suburb, as the parishioners of Holy Christ Almighty Baptist Church gather for morning worship. Organ music descends from the rafters as the wholesome-looking congregation files quietly into the building. Seated in orderly rows, the assembled families stand for the minister&#39;s blessing and open their hymnals to sing.


Dennis Lindeman, a reformed homosexual whose natural sexual urges have been repressed with the help of the Lord. Among them, his arm around his wife, smiling down at the fresh-scrubbed faces of his two young children, born-again Christian Dennis Lindeman sings his heart out, secretly imagining a huge, engorged cock thrusting all the way down into the back of his throat.

Difficult as it may be to believe, just three years ago, this 44-year-old churchgoing family man was a construction worker, nightclub regular, and self-described "party slut" in Los Angeles&#39; seamy homosexual underground. But now, thanks to the friends he has made through the Orange County-based Reclamation Ministries, all that has changed. Today, Lindeman is living a new life, one of devotion to his wife and children, piety before the Lord, and intense self-hatred and shame in the face of his entirely unchanged sexual orientation.

"Before I was converted to the light of the Lord, I was constantly indulging my sinful, natural sexual desires," Lindeman said. "But now, with the help of Jesus, all those group gropes in the backs of abandoned trucks near the warehouse district are just so many shadowy memories, fueling so many secret masturbation sessions, followed by paralyzing attacks of guilt and fear, and frantic prayers begging forgiveness."

His motorcycle gear, leather cap and butt-plug long gone, Lindeman has finally found a place for himself in the house of the Lord.

"Thanks to my new friends at Reclamation Ministries, I am redeemed and born anew in Christ," said Lindeman, respected throughout the community as a hardware-store owner, youth soccer coach and Kiwanis Club treasurer. "Before, I never would have thought it possible that I could go without meaty, throbbing cocks pumping my lubed-up asshole on a regular basis. What&#39;s more, I never thought I could live with the crippling self-loathing and shame that denying my true self would bring. But with the love of Jesus and the strong support of my wonderful wife Diane, that miracle has come true."


Above: A 1995 photo of Lindeman and friends at an L.A. gay bar.
Unlike during his days of sexual liberation, the act of coupling, Lindeman said, is now a wholesome, maritally sanctified act devoid of any physical pleasure, performed solely for the purpose of procreation, as God intended.

"I feel so much better about myself," said Lindeman, choking back tears.

Diane Lindeman, a former lesbian also rescued by Reclamation Ministries, agreed with her husband. "We live like God intended now," she said, sitting bolt upright next to her husband in a stiff-backed chair, holding his hand for photographers. "We know that Jesus loves us for putting our homosexual ways behind us forever."

"God, I miss eating pussy," she added, grinding her teeth. "Deeply internalized self-hatred consumes every fiber of my being."

Dennis and Diane met in 1995 at a "Choose Love" weekend retreat, a Reclamation Ministries-sponsored program designed to help convert homosexuals to lives of decency and morality. The two grow teary-eyed recounting the story of their first meeting, recalling how a group of Christians held them in their arms and prayed to God to take away their natural sexual desires. They are nostalgic as they recall their wedding day, and how, with the help and support of their Christian brothers and sisters, they were able to convince themselves that a life of heterosexuality was for the best.

"Jesus has given me a fresh start," Dennis said. "When I lock myself in the bathroom with the light off, crying for hours on end, I know He is there watching over me, ready to hurl me into the pits of eternal hellfire if I give in to my ferocious, unquenchable desire to cup in my hands the butt cheeks of a hirsute Latino and gently tug them apart as I work my tongue into his ass."

Diane agreed. "Christ has taken over my life," she said. "Everything I am has been transformed by my Savior, who judges all in His love. I can&#39;t think of anything else but His divine mercy and guidance. Once I had my entire fist up this one chick&#39;s ****. It was so incredible."

Rev. Henry Spottiswood, founder of Reclamation Ministries and marriage counselor for the Lindemans, praised the couple as "yet another victory" for the side of rectitude and piety.

"While it is true that Dennis and Diane may still harbor homosexual desires deep within their hearts, this is all right, because God forgives them for it," said Spottiswood, who had numerous homosexual encounters during his teenage years but has never allowed himself to consciously acknowledge them. "The important thing to remember is that this is not about what Dennis and Diane want. It is about what God wants for Dennis and Diane."

Added Spottiswood: "There is room enough for all in the closet of the Lord."

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

Originally posted by Jesus [email protected] 3 2003, 07:39 PM
-Wait a minute. Didn&#39;t the god in your bible drown every living creature on the whole damn earth just for the hell of it?


God purged the earth because it was corrupted by the wickedness of man.
We will purge reactionaries because they are corrupted by the wickedness of capitalism. Problem?

[Jesus Christ]

jesus caused hitler to kill jews
think about that

[swapna]

Comrade RAF,
Your posting was really hilarious:) the basket ball one. I dont know much about basket ball but i really couldnt stop laughing:)
Whose name did u replace for christ&#39;s?

[swapna]

Jesus Lives,
What about the millions of people christians killed all over the world?
There is an old African joke on the britishers
"First they came to our land and asked us to hold the bible.
Few years later, We had the bible and they had our land"

Relegion is used just to exploit the masses.
What about the millions of people britishers killed all over the world.
didnt they do that on the name of christianity?
Why was GOD just watching the fun when they bought slaves from africa and treated them like animals?
Christians killed Galileo for telling earth is round saying it was against the bible. Why did bible teach us something which is fundamentally so wrong.
What about bush killing thousands of iraqis right now.
Do you know 50,000 iraqi infants died in the past decade for lack of medicines(obviosuly US asked other coutnries not to supply medicines).

First reform your own relegion and then come to the communists to teach about your relegion.

[Rastafari]

It was an original article, at least most of it was :)

Jesus Lives, you seem like a pretty nice, albeit naive, guy. try as you might, you will not "save" any of us. I&#39;d say you should spare yourself the indignity of getting banned and leave while that is still an option.

[Ctisphonics]

God may be perfect within himself, but his wisdom necessarily is not. In the book of Job, it is said that god created wisdom. This signifies that his wisdom isn&#39;t a indivisible part of him, but is infact some other quality, more like a tool than an appendage.

Have you ever wondered how Satan and his boys ever gained the capabilities to rebel in the first place?
Did you every question the origins of the bible, both old testiment and the new one; why Christianity triupmed in the first place within the roman empire?

The Ancient Churches were the ones who chose the current form of the bible. For evry book that was accepted, three was rejected for the current format. THE CHURCH DECIDED THE CURRENT FORMAT&#33;

And the Church IS Cardnials and Popes, Bishops, Patriarchs, Priests, ect, cause it never stopped&#33; The five ancient holy see&#39;s are going stong still, infact, one&#39;s a Confederate of Soviet Communism (I don&#39;t like that, but it&#39;s a internal problem that has to be solved within the Russian Orthodox Church). In the Catholic church, many are in fact supportive of communism in Latin America, and the Pope has come to terms with this somewhat, though he isn&#39;t thrillled with it, the Chinese Communist party took control of the Catholic Church in China).

The Greek Orthodox Church isn&#39;t thrilled with Communism, after the Communist Insurgents and later on the terrorists groups started indescriminately attacking anything left and right.

Most Orthodox groups come from territories formily Communist, they have mixed opinions naturally since the Eastern Churches are not unified (though still in communion with one another) under a single patriach (the pope is a patraich who wants it differently, I suppose you already understand the history).

So in the end, though Marxism by it&#39;s very nature is opposed to christianity (In some Scandanivian countires, I think a few holdouts for Gustavius might disagree), Communism is not, it&#39;s something that&#39;s debateable. God&#39;s wisdom does not in and of itself constitute a part of god, it may be nor more potent than that of Satan&#39;s wisoms or Jim&#39;s wisdom in relation to the subject matter&#39; it is said that man&#39;s logic is not the same as man&#39;, but by the very nuture of logic there must be the possibility of overlapping if A is thinking the same as B. I&#39;m not underestimating the omnipotentce of god. It&#39;s just the laws that dictate social dynamics would have to be universal, God in relation to other beings with some level of free will, even if it&#39;s his creation, It explains WHY Satan was able to rebel in the first place.

This exposes a very important issue within your arguement. If Satan was behind &#39;all&#39; sins, where did he gain the power to sin? Why can&#39;t man, who the Ancient church authorities to this VERY day (remember, they approved the bible your currently reading, thier the authorieties on this) admit, are SUPERIOR to all the classed of Angles by our very nature, are unable to sin independently? Perhaps Satan justs nurses some of this stuff along after discovering it&#39;s potential?

1. Your position collapses after close scrutiny from a Christian Perspective
2. The book of Job exposes the truth on the matter.
3. Communism, be it Christian or Anti-Christian, is still under dispute within the christian churches- churches directly decended from Christ&#39;s Apostals.

[Exploited Class]

Originally posted by Jesus [email protected] 3 2003, 05:39 PM
God purged the earth because it was corrupted by the wickedness of man.
Looks like that was all the was needed to stop wickedness. Or was it all just a waste of effort on god&#39;s part. God does thing that have no effect, he is weak and his choices on what to do to stop wickedness is poor at best. Even given 2000 years he still hasn&#39;t been able to convert the earth. What a weakling.

[Rastafari]

Originally posted by COMRADE [email protected] 3 2003, 09:52 PM
Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing when Jesus says, "I want to perform a miracle so it will feel like the good old days."

Moses says, "Yeah, sure."


So Jesus gets up and says "I think I&#39;ll walk on water, that was always a good one."


So Jesus walks over to the edge of the boat, steps into the water and sinks like a stone. Moses drags him back into the boat and revives him.


Moses says, "What&#39;s the problem?"


Jesus replies, "I don&#39;t know, but it could be these holes in my feet&#33;"
HAHAHAHAHA


so bad.



hahahahahahahaha


horrible

Ahahaha

[redstar2000]

A 13-year-old kid fucked up on religion. What a shame&#33;

This is why talking religion to children is child abuse.

And will someday be an extremely serious crime.

http://anarchist-action.org/forums/images/smiles/redstar.gif

The RedStar2000 Papers (http://www.anarchist-action.org/marxists/redstar2000/)
A site about communist ideas

[clubninja]

I worship goatcock.

[elijahcraig]

I am no bible thumper. But communism and satanism are similiar. Both devalue the worth of human life.

False. Both answer “Yea.” To Humanity. Christianity answers “Nay.” It is the religion where Humanity is NOTHING and God is EVERYTHING. We are NOTHING without him.




Both try to make men base and crass--as if we needed the help to begin with. When you eliminate God, then you&#39;ve simply reduced man to an eating, shitting, killing machine. Maybe we are just that. But if God doesn&#39;t exist, please don&#39;t tell me. I&#39;d rather live my life of illusion. One day, I&#39;d like to float on the clouds with the angels. It sure beats masturbating and smoking dope.

Moron.

[Vinny Rafarino]

Originally posted by [email protected] 4 2003, 04:19 AM
I am no bible thumper. But communism and satanism are similiar. Both devalue the worth of human life. Both try to make men base and crass--as if we needed the help to begin with. When you eliminate God, then you&#39;ve simply reduced man to an eating, shitting, killing machine. Maybe we are just that. But if God doesn&#39;t exist, please don&#39;t tell me. I&#39;d rather live my life of illusion. One day, I&#39;d like to float on the clouds with the angels. It sure beats masturbating and smoking dope.
Try masturbating WHILE smoking dope, you will get much better results.




God answers prayers of paralised little boy;

&#39;No&#39;, says God.

SAN FRANCISCO—For as long as he can remember, 7-year-old Timmy Yu has had one precious dream: From the bottom of his heart, he has hoped against hope that God would someday hear his prayer to walk again. Though many thought Timmy&#39;s heavenly plea would never be answered, his dream finally came true Monday, when the Lord personally responded to the wheelchair-bound boy&#39;s prayer with a resounding no.


Wheelchair-bound Timmy Yu, who finally received his long-awaited reply from God.
"I knew that if I just prayed hard enough, God would hear me," said a joyful Timmy, sitting in the wheelchair to which he will be confined for the rest of his life. "And now my prayer has been answered. I haven&#39;t been this happy since before the accident, when I could walk and play with the other children like a normal boy."

God&#39;s response came at approximately 10 a.m., following a particularly fervent Sunday-night prayer session by little Timmy. Witnesses said God issued His miraculous answer in the form of a towering column of clouds, from which poured forth great beams of Divine light and the music of the Heavenly Host. The miraculous event took place in the Children&#39;s Special Care Ward of St. Luke&#39;s Hospital, which Timmy visits three times a week for an excruciating two-hour procedure to drain excess fluid from his damaged spinal column.

Said Angela Schlosser, a day nurse who witnessed the Divine Manifestation: "An incredible, booming voice said to Timmy, &#39;I am the Lord thy God, who created the rivers and the mountains, the heavens and the earth, the sun and the moon and the stars. Before Me sits My beloved child, whose faith is that of the mustard seed from which grows mighty and powerful things. My child, Timmy Yu, I say unto you thus: I have heard your prayers, and now I shall answer them. No, you cannot get out of your wheelchair. Not ever."

Paralyzed in a 1998 auto accident that claimed the lives of both his parents, Timmy has served as a shining example to his fellow churchgoers at Lord In Heaven On High Church, inspiring others with his simple, heartfelt devotion. Now that Timmy has received an answer, Christians the world over are celebrating his story as a stirring testament to the power of faith.

"The Lord has answered a little boy&#39;s plea to know if he would ever walk again, and that answer was no," said Rev. H. Newman Gunther of the San Francisco School Of Divinity. "For years, this boy had been plagued by the question of whether or not he would ever walk, and now Our Lord, in his wisdom and mercy, has forever laid to rest any lingering doubt. Young Timmy can rest assured in the immutable truth the Lord has bestowed upon him. Now and for all time, he finally knows that he will never escape the cruel prison of his chair of iron, for God hath willed it so. Praise be to God."


Asked for comment, God said: "This kind-hearted child&#39;s simple prayer hath moved Me. Never before have I seen such faith. His trusting soul, so full of innocent devotion to Me, hath offered seventy times seven prayers asking, &#39;God? Can I please walk again?&#39; It was indeed right and fitting that I, in My infinite wisdom, should share with him the One True Answer to this long-repeated question put before Me."

"My will be done," God added.

Witnesses to the miracle said Timmy begged God for several minutes to change His mind and heal his shattered vertebrae, but the Lord stood firm.

"God recommended that Timmy consider praying to one of the other intercessionary agents of Divine power, like Jesus, Mary, or maybe even a top saint," said Dr. William Luttrell, Timmy&#39;s personal physician. "The Lord stressed to Timmy that it was still a long shot, but he might have better luck with one of them."

Despite his newfound notoriety as the only human ever to have a prayer directly answered by God Himself, Timmy remains humble.

"I know that God loves me, because it says so in the Bible," Timmy said. "So right now, I&#39;m just glad God took the time to answer my prayer. If only I could walk, this would be the greatest day of my life."

[Ctisphonics]

Human life has a very crucial value in Christianity. It is both what forms us, and defines our relations to one another. But that isn&#39;t the purpose. The purpose of human life is finding our relationship with god. Again, many of the Christian Theologians of the early Church (I don&#39;t know why the Catholics steered the opposite way on this) didn&#39;t veiw hell as a place but a state of being. We choose hell by denying god, the punishment is not a punishment, nor is the reward a reward. Heaven is the natural state of being, Hell goes against our basic human nature due to our original purpose in creation being our relationship to god. Hell is seperation from god. It&#39;s torment. Seek your nature, it&#39;s down and beyond the path of morality, any deviation from the path can only profit you in grief.

Remember Boethius.

[Loknar]

Funny how this guy says Communism is evil when in fact the Bible has many examples of communism.

[Exploited Class]

Satan Depressed All Weekend After Man Opts Out Of Casino Trip
UNCASVILLE, CT—Satan, The Father Of Lies, suffered a dispiriting blow Saturday, when potential sinner Jeffrey Kremer chose to forgo a soul-polluting trip to the Mohegan Sun Resort Casino, The Prince Of Darkness said Monday. "I had hoped that the allure of the bright lights and the promise of instant wealth would tempt Kremer into the mortal sin of avarice," a despondent Lucifer said. "Alas, he told his friends that he felt like spending the day hanging out around the house, instead of joining them at the casino. Curses&#33;" Satan said he hopes that Kremer will at least watch softcore pornography on cable before the week is over.

[Vinny Rafarino]

EC, scoundrel&#33; I will not be shown up;

NASHUA, NH—Pastor Bob Snowdon, of Holy Christ Almighty Lutheran Church in Nashua, is a man of deep religious and moral convictions. He derives great satisfaction from his various parish duties—reciting the liturgy, giving holy communion, and performing the sacrament of baptism. But nothing delights him quite like his favorite activity of all: fucking Emily Snowdon, his holy-wedded wife of 19 years.

"The Holy Bible sanctifies the bond between a man and a woman in matrimony as a sacred union," Snowdon said. "And there is nothing so smiled upon by our Lord than the love and caring that is shared when a man fucks his lawfully wedded bride. Just thinking about it makes me want to zip home for a few minutes and fuck Emily right now."

According to the 53-year-old "Pastor Bob," even though he typically fucks his wife twice each morning, he still very much looks forward to fucking her again when he gets home.

"After a long, hard day of worshiping in the house of our Lord, tending to the emotional needs of my parishioners, and visiting the sick and elderly so that they too might know in their hearts the light of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ," Snowdon said, "there is nothing in this world I enjoy more than coming home and fucking the red out of my wife&#39;s hair. I love to give it to her any way she wants it, as hard as she can take it. My favorite is when she climbs on top and jerks her hips up and down on me as she fucks."

What&#39;s more, it seems that Emily enjoys the fucking almost as much as her husband. "I&#39;ve got to admit it," she said, "I love to get fucked."

Emily stressed, however, that the sort of wild fucking in which she and her husband regularly partake is only acceptable when performed within the confines of a church-sanctioned marriage. "I am saddened, deeply saddened, when I hear of the young girls of today, engaging in sexual activities such as heavy petting or necking before they are wedlock-bound," she said. "It is so sad to see the beauty and purity of the act of fucking despoiled by this sort of premarital impropriety. If only these young girls would wait until they have taken the marriage vows and then, and only then, start fucking like there was no tomorrow."

According to Snowdon, some of his favorite places to fuck his wife include the pantry, shower, woodshed, basement laundry-room area, living-room sofa, and even, he added with a sly wink, the bedroom. "All of our children are grown now and have families of their own, God bless them," he said, "so we can pretty much fuck anywhere we please in the whole darn house."

So enamored is he of his wife-fucking hobby, Snowdon said he would recommend fucking to just about anyone. "So long as the fucking is done within the sacred bond of matrimony, I say, &#39;Fuck away.&#39;" Snowdon said. "But if you&#39;re not married, please, whatever you do, don&#39;t fuck anybody. An eternity of sin and punishment await those who fuck without church sanction."

Though fucking has been a lifelong interest for Snowdon, he stressed that he had faithfully abstained from sex and resisted the intense urge to fuck women until his bond with Emily was formally cemented with marital vows before the eyes of God 19 years ago.

"Naturally, before my marriage, I wanted to fuck other women: Sally Lindemier, my senior-year prom date; Susan Helgstrom, the receptionist at my parents&#39; church; even Sheila Bernhauser, my old Bible-study teacher. I would have gladly fucked any one of those lovely, God-fearing women. Yet I knew that my fuck-urges were impure and sinful, and that it was my duty as a Christian to resist them until the day of my wedding to my beloved Emily."

"But once I was married, my lust became sanctified in my heart and in the eyes of the Lord," he said. "And, from that day forth, I began fucking the holy heck out of my wife whenever and wherever I could, as often as possible. It is a practice I continue to this day."

"Emily is a good, kind, Christian woman," Snowdon added. "But let there be no mistake: She is also one furious fuck-mama, as well."

Pastor Bob and his wife both stressed that, of course, abortion is a terrible sin, as is homosexuality, group sex, anal sex, oral sex, phone sex, pornography, and all forms of contraception.




Comrade RAF, Your posting was really hilarious:) the basket ball one. I dont know much about basket ball but i really couldnt stop laughing:) Whose name did u replace for christ&#39;s?

No one&#39;s, this is a true article straight from the Vatican herald.

[Sasafrás]

Jesus was gay - says academic

Jesus was gay and so were at least three of his 12 disciples, according to an Australian academic.

Dr Rollan McCleary said Jesus&#39;s astrological chart, clues in the scriptures and biblical translations, all played a part in his conclusions.

In a forthcoming book, he attempts to present St John&#39;s Gospel in a new light to back up his claims, reports the Herald Sun.

Dr Rollan McCleary, a University of Queensland PhD graduate who now lives in Melbourne, has just been awarded his doctorate for a thesis on gay spirituality.

An Anglican and a qualified reader of astrological charts, Dr McCleary said the planet Uranus figured prominently in Jesus&#39;s astrological chart, as it did with many gays.

From Ananova

[Ctisphonics]

Say&#39;s Sasafras, from the planet Youradick.

[Sasafrás]

Originally posted by [email protected] 4 2003, 04:05 AM
Say&#39;s Sasafras, from the planet Youradick.
What the hell is that supposed to say? :huh:

Um..

Get bent.

<_<

[Ctisphonics]

Well, look at it this way....between you and RAF, you managed to get me angry with that one, so I guess you can claim the victory in your little contest.

[Sasafrás]

Originally posted by [email protected] 4 2003, 04:17 AM
Well, look at it this way....between you and RAF, you managed to get me angry with that one, so I guess you can claim the victory in your little contest.
Contest? I don&#39;t make it a contest to make you angry. I don&#39;t even know you, nor do I really give a flip. I just saw a silly article about Jesus Christ on the net and I posted it.

[Exploited Class]

Originally posted by COMRADE [email protected] 4 2003, 01:42 AM
EC, scoundrel&#33; I will not be shown up;

He derives great satisfaction from his various parish duties—reciting the liturgy, giving holy communion, and performing the sacrament of baptism. But nothing delights him quite like his favorite activity of all: fucking Emily Snowdon, his holy-wedded wife of 19 years.
I think after that post of yours, there is little chance of you being shown up by me. In fact I am giving you the next 3, you win them no matter what after that Onion Post. I forgot about that one, that one has to be like 3 or 4 years old by now.

[Vinny Rafarino]

HA HA&#33; It is good to search deep into the archives of the glory that is the Onion.

[Invader Zim]

Originally posted by Jesus [email protected] 3 2003, 11:53 PM
Please as one child of God to another, listen. You know what I&#39;m saying is true. You feel it deep down inside you. I know you do. Please, please don&#39;t wait until its too late.
I am satan.

And Im gonna rape you in the ass Jesus.

[RyeN]

I agree with crazy commie on the subject religions are made up to make life easier. Why do you belive something that was created by humans at the low point of intelegnce on the evelutionary scale of Intelect. Seriously when this shit was writen people were merley more than speaking cave men.

When you take a look Genisis, besides the crazy beging that lends to the theory that a god created the universe. There is some actual history. The adam and eve story was created from previous cultures and their superstitious belifs.

Humans growth from evolution would have been slow and painful. Neianderthals probably had litle use to think of things like gods, Let alone proccess complicated thoughts like the creation of the universe. However during the evolution of mankind in in the midle east (thats where it all seems to have started) People started talking and culture developed.

When language was pure and only spoken in one tounge the Enlil there was one large civilization. The ancient city of Eridu in southern Iraq. There leader was a man named Enki. As their culture progressed another civilization was developing further to the north. Ruled by a woman named Ashera, the people to the north had also developed thier own language. The people of Eridu belived in a god called El, and they thought that Ashera was sent by him. The confusion in language caused fighting and many hard ships.

These three figures were the basis of the Adam and eve story. El or Yahew, was the creator and Adam and Eve were his People. Adam being Enki ,and eve being Ashera. The fact that Ashera brought pain to the people of Eridu brings the basis that woman brought pain into the world.

[Dhul Fiqar]

Banned, closed.

--- G.