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The Vegan Marxist
12th May 2011, 06:19
Florida Senate fails basic biology, accidentally outlaws sex
May 11th, 2011

Question: If your elected officials fail basic taxonomy, promote anti-science curriculum, and consistently attempt to undermine the fundamental unpinning of all biology, what happens when they start trying to legislate from this flawed view of reality?

The answer is this poorly-worded miasma of a law recently passed in Florida, which presumably was designed to prevent bestiality and promote animal welfare, but which has actually made it illegal, effective October 1, 2011, for anyone to have sex in Florida.


An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.

source (http://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2011/0344/BillText/Filed/PDF)

I have constructed this helpful little graphic for the Florida Legislature to examine:

http://i54.tinypic.com/2u7ajxy.png

So if you’re living in Florida on October 1, 2011 and would like to have sexual intercourse with a consenting adult, please check with your veterinarian or local livestock breeder first to make sure you abide by ”accepted animal husbandry practices, conformation judging practices, or accepted veterinary medical practices.”

[Readers may be interested in a slightly less humorous but technically correct interpretation of the new law (http://electionlawblog.org/archives/019463.html). ~Ed.]

http://www.southernfriedscience.com/?p=10369

Sword and Shield
12th May 2011, 06:37
I don't see such a big problem with it. When people talk about "animals" in everyday speech (which is often reflected in law), they refer to non-human animals, (and people often would also exclude stuff such as insects). I wouldn't say such a law would be exclusive to anti-science legislatures.

ZeroNowhere
12th May 2011, 06:51
Oh God, he just said that a book was long without specifying the frame of reference in which this was measured!

dernier combat
15th May 2011, 13:51
This is meant to be funny?

Dean
16th May 2011, 03:12
I'm fairly sure that the legal definition of 'animal' excludes humans in its regular usage...

Lenina Rosenweg
16th May 2011, 04:13
The Florida Senate, like most upholders of "family values" are living in a dream world. Every spring hordes of college students head to Florida and spend a week or so doing it like wabbits. The sex neg "family values" is an artificial attempt to hold up an institution which is under vicious attack from neo-liberalism.This bill, ostensibly to protect animals (from what, I'm not sure) is to reinforce the idea that "non-procreative sex is bad".

What if a pet owner is trying to get their goldfish or pet iguana to procreate? Is this under "animal husbandry".

But yeah, if you do buy a pet alligator/crocodile/starfish/iguana or whatever in the Sunshine State, and you feel those urges building up, try to hold it in, at least till you get to the Georgia border.

Hexen
21st May 2011, 02:37
This is not going to end well...

Princess Luna
21st May 2011, 04:08
This is just fucking stupid (and I don't mean the part about outlawing human sex) even the law in its original intention is stupid, can you see how a court case would go?
Prosecutor: Is it true, that on the night of July 17, at 2:30 pm your neighbor saw you touch your dog's penis?
Defendent: i swear i was just scratching his belly!
Prosecuter: So you claim, but do we know your hand didn't go a little south?