British declared world's worst tourists

[Princess Luna]

This just in: As the news breaks that British of all stripes celebrated last week's royal wedding by evacuating the country and enjoying a jolly holiday abroad, a new poll's been released that, I'm sorry to say, ranks U.K. travelers the "World's Worst Tourists."

According to the Skyscanner travel search website, Brits are the worst offenders in four out of five categories including 'not attempting to learn local language', 'being drunk and disorderly' and 'not trying local food and drink'. Their lousy (read nonexistent) tipping habits were also unmatched.

Americans followed with a close second in 'not attempting language' and 'being drunk and disorderly' and a coveted third place for 'being rude' behind the Russians and Germans. The poll included responses from 49 countries around the world.

I'm not sure how these ratings strike you, but as an annoying American abroad (and a guy who's lived three years of his life in England), I found myself scratching my head a bit over this British ratings sweep.

In truth, I was seized by a secret jealousy. As a Yank, I hate to cede the top spot in a competition of any kind. Hold on a sec, I thought. Not so fast! I'll get on the blower and chat up some real-life Brits to see if they agree.

I felt confident that Union Jack waving tourists would defend their honor to the last sip of bitter. And put us Americans back in our rightful place: on top. Or, er, at the bottom.

"Really!" responded Jan Pinckard when I told her the survey results. Pinckard grew up in England, but now lives in the U.S. "Very interesting," she added, "and very true, or so I would surmise."

But wait, I objected, trying my hardest to stir the pot. Aren't you peeved -- just a little? Don't you think we Americans are uglier abroad? Pinckard just stared. "In fact," she said, "I was surprised you Americans ranked worse than the Russians in being 'drunk and disorderly'."

Whoo boy. Better find someone crankier. I turned to Pat and Ken Harrison, two more English expats who hail from London and Yorkshire, respectively, but make their home nowadays in Rhode Island.

"Well," said Pat, "the average British tourist (ourselves excluded of course) expects everyone in the world to speak English thanks to the British Empire. In the 1960s and 70s if no English was spoken, Brits thought that shouting really loud would make them understood."

Yeah sure, I cut in, but...

"And not only that," continued Harrison, "drunk and disorderly seems to be a sign of the times in the U.K. these days. It seems that some pubs can stay open 24 hours now if they wish and that, along with many other factors... seems to have contributed to a profound loss of what were once accepted norms of behavior."

Down to my last hope, I got in touch with Martin Gould who, accompanied by an English wife and English dogs, lives in Surrey, England. Surely, Gould would scramble the local Spitfire squadron and take up arms against these accusations.

"What can I say?" responded Gould, wasting zero time weighing in. "I suspect that it is only we Brits who would genuinely believe that the recipient would be insulted if you over-tipped! As for 'drunk and disorderly' it's unfortunately just a way of life over here. Any naturally reserved Brit turns to the bottle to help unwind a little."

Wait! Stop! I objected. But it was no use.

"You must remember," continued Gould, "that throughout our history 'tourism' has meant invading foreign countries, occupying them for years and doing our utmost to turn them into England replicas abroad. Consequently, anywhere that doesn't serve bacon and eggs for breakfast, chips with every meal and a stiff gin and tonic at sundown can't really be called civilized."

Rising to a crescendo, Gould added that Britain's fourth place in 'being rude' was "slightly surprising," but, he noted, "I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we get to the top spot."

This is where I cut him off. No way, I said. We're ahead of you British tourists in that category. We're a solid Number Three in rudeness. Number Three across the globe!

We Yanks have our pride.

And at least as long as I'm alive, we're not giving up that prestigious place without a fight.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peter-mandel/worlds-worst-tourists-bri_b_857011.html?ir=Weird%20News

Now i feel slightly less embarrassed about the fact i was born in America

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

We are awful. I was in Spain a few years ago, and there were these fat English bastards who sat around eating roast dinners, watching Eastenders and expecting every Spaniard to speak English (which they all did). This part of Spain was like my local highstreet, thanks to abysmal British tourists. We are an embarrassment.

[bailey_187]

lol

[bailey_187]

We are awful. I was in Spain a few years ago, and there were these fat English bastards who sat around eating roast dinners, watching Eastenders and expecting every Spaniard to speak English (which they all did). This part of Spain was like my local highstreet, thanks to abysmal British tourists. We are an embarrassment.

if only they were more civilised and ate tapas while reading the guardian

[Dr Mindbender]

We are awful. I was in Spain a few years ago, and there were these fat English bastards who sat around eating roast dinners, watching Eastenders and expecting every Spaniard to speak English (which they all did). This part of Spain was like my local highstreet, thanks to abysmal British tourists. We are an embarrassment.

Indeed, Britishism is the cancer of southern spain. Gibraltar has already ceded, i fear the costa del sol may also be malignant.

[Wanted Man]

How is this news, exactly?

[Lenina Rosenweg]

Americans are pretty bad, famous for being loud, obnoxious, insensitive to local cultures. A few years ago I saw a bunch of them in the London tube singing the Star Spangled Banner out of tune and at the top of their lungs. One time I was in Moscow, Russia at a McDonald's. A large group of students from the University of South Florida (it was written over every article of clothing they were wearing) came in. There were very loud. One guy said to another, "Hey Bob, is there any toilet paper in this joint?" very loudly across the restaurant. Russian people are much more reserved in public and the patrons felt distinctly uncomfortable w/the American's behavior.

Another time I was at the Uffizi in Florence. I was tailing a group of American university students getting a guided tour. The tour guide had to keep interupting the tour to explain things like who St. Francis of Assisi was, who the Etruscans were, etc.

Another time in was in the Bahnhof (train station) in Munich. A small group of American guys were talking.This was when there were anti-American protests going on in several countries.

"I don't know why everyone hates us, what did we do to deserve this? I mean its not my fault this stuff is going on" one guy said.

"Yeah man, I hear ya...why are they blaming me for this stuff...It's not fair man!"

Yeah, people here seem to think its my personal fault!

It turned out these three guys were attending US military academies.

BTW I'm amerikkkan myself, please don't tell anyone though..I'm one of the good ones! I think the Canadian flag sowed to my backpack is good protection.

[gorillafuck]

Americans followed with a close second in 'not attempting language' and 'being drunk and disorderly' and a coveted third place for 'being rude' behind the Russians and Germans. The poll included responses from 49 countries around the world.We tip, though.:lol:

[Arlekino]

We are awful. I was in Spain a few years ago, and there were these fat English bastards who sat around eating roast dinners, watching Eastenders and expecting every Spaniard to speak English (which they all did). This part of Spain was like my local highstreet, thanks to abysmal British tourists. We are an embarrassment.

It is kind of embarrassed for English people. is shame Spanish can be paint picture about all English like that which is not truth. Yes you absolutely right when I was in Spain, English demanding to speak with them English, ignorance, lot of posh properties own by English and Germans, big gates with huge locks. No wonder one day Spanish people can be angry and can do silly things. The English or German flags are waving on top of the roofs is too nationalistic.

[Quail]

I think the place I've been to that had the most obnoxious British tourists was San Antonio in Ibiza. It was horrendous for people who were "drunk and disorderly" (although I did sit on a table near some Americans who had somehow managed to rack up a bill of over 100 euros on vodka shots). I stayed in a proper dodgy hotel too. I had a good time with my friends, but there's no way in Hell I'm ever going on holiday somewhere that is popular with British teenagers again.

[Sasha]

I'll take an coach load of Essex girls and lads over one post IDF Israeli tourist, they are really horible.

[DDR]

Well, to those who complain about the behaviour of brits is awfull in spain. Just to tell us that we have our revenges, at home an abroad. At home: Sangria, the "guiri" killer!. Abroad: the tipical behaviour of a tourist spaniard, noisy, expect that all pubs, bars and discos close at 0900 AM (earliest, party must end at noon, or the following day noon), and do the "spanish thing" (go arround doing what you want, and if you get cought apologice, say that you don't understand the language and that you're a tourist).

[Red Future]

Its bad to be British sometimes...Ive personally never been to Spain though.

[brigadista]

had a great night in torremolinos in the back streets in a gay bar...

[Wanted Man]

Another time I was at the Uffizi in Florence. I was tailing a group of American university students getting a guided tour. The tour guide had to keep interupting the tour to explain things like who St. Francis of Assisi was, who the Etruscans were, etc.

Makes sense to me. Who the hell knows that stuff anyway?

[Pretty Flaco]

Makes sense to me. Who the hell knows that stuff anyway?

Any dedicated communist.

[Il Medico]

Makes sense to me. Who the hell knows that stuff anyway?
Me and I actually assumed that stuff was kinda common knowledge too.

[Jazzratt]

At least they admitted ignorance and asked. Sort of admirable if you ask me.

I don't go abroad much these days so I don't have any (recent) horror stories about drunken morons bellowing at long suffering locals or anything. I did see a cluster of canadians on the tube today, decked out as if they were climbing a mountain or something - poor buggers must have been roasting.

[bailey_187]

We tip, though.:lol:

in england no one tips really, except at some restaurants. or maybe the guy in the toilets at clubs

[gorillafuck]

explain things like who St. Francis of Assisi was, who the Etruscans were, etc.
Me and I actually assumed that stuff was kinda common knowledge too.It's not, I don't think

[El Rojo]

not a suprise. i pretend to be french in spain and vise verca since i could get away with it. failing that, openly confessing to being a "guiri" goes down well. as DDR said however, the spaniards do like to take revenge. many spanish exchanges I have known love to rob british shops for fun on the basis that "you stole our (?!) gold on the way back from south america, so now we steal from you"

talk about a long historical memory!

[Jazzratt]

talk about a long historical memory! Memories are very loing for that kind of thing if they give you a reason to thump or rob someone, I have found.

[DDR]

not a suprise. i pretend to be french in spain and vise verca since i could get away with it. failing that, openly confessing to being a "guiri" goes down well. as DDR said however, the spaniards do like to take revenge. many spanish exchanges I have known love to rob british shops for fun on the basis that "you stole our (?!) gold on the way back from south america, so now we steal from you"

talk about a long historical memory!

The thing about robbing brit shops is mainly because it's fucking easy to rob there, and that gos wwith another spaniard mind set, la picaresca. BTW, no spaniard can say athing about the brits attaking the gold galleons while that gold came from the Americas, which the spaniards stole.

[Bright Banana Beard]

lol @ this theead

[Sasha]

i actually really dont mind the english tourists over here, sure they are loud and drunk and mostly intrested in the beer, prostitutes and weed but so are all the other tourists.
at least the british you can, i some way, still comunicate with even if they are fucked up, if you shout at them for pissing against your front door they appologies sincerly and in general seem to be more comfertable/experienced in functioning fucked up, they also seem more aware that they are on unknown territory in an town with people who actually live there. which is a big difrence with the US tourists who seem to think they are in disneyland and just stumble without one look sideways into traffic preferably straight in front of our trolleys. or expect the first person thety make eye contact with to drop what he or she is doing and give them directions to whatever they are looking for (which they half of the time are stanidng with their back too) and yeah, the already mentioned "the spanish thing" is anoying as fuck, especialy in my line of work, like shit they dont know you dont get free complementery drinks with your entrance ticket, like shit they dont know you cant smoke inside the club etc etc, they come in and speak perfectly reasonble english but as soon as you confront them over something they cant understand a word your saying.

[Wanted Man]

Me and I actually assumed that stuff was kinda common knowledge too.

Umm, no? It's not just an American thing either, most Europeans probably don't know anything about Etruscans either.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

psycho, that's coz we're some of the biggest binge drinkers in the world. brits spend so much time pissed that being drunk is like a second nature ;).

[La Comédie Noire]

The only reason yanks weren't number one is they were afraid they'd invade their country illegally, kill them, and then celebrate the murder in a patriotic orgy.

[ÑóẊîöʼn]

I've never understood why some Brits are averse to trying the local food and drink when on holiday, especially since the British palate is far more diverse than it used to be.

As for tipping; in the US that sort of thing is expected because employers are tight-fisted fuckheads who use the excuse of tips to not pay their workers sufficient wages, and the labour laws collude with them in that. But in Europe that sort of thing should be less of a problem. I only tip when I think the food or service or whatever has been exceptional. Tipping is a reward for a job well done, not something that should be automatically expected. If I get mediocre service and some garcon gets snotty about the resulting lack of a tip, they can go and fuck themselves and I will never return.

[maskerade]

My friend and I were attacked by three British tourists in Ibiza...my friend had kicked a paper cup on the ground, and it landed next to these three obnoxious Brits who pestered us with instigative questions like "Oi, was dat aimed at me?"

My drunken diplomacy failed terribly, and we ended up being beaten down until some other British tourists came to the rescue...so I guess they're not all bad

[LeninBalls]

When I was stranded in Spain without a penny or an idea where to go, a British tourist actually bought me a €100 train ticket to a far away city where my family lived. He said I don't need to pay him back because he knows one day I'll repay the favour to a lost traveller.

2 days prior to that though, I spent the day trying to survive with this 24-hour drunk (literally) British guy who asked every person he met on the street with his thick London accent "Sorry could you spare me 1 euro? Come on mate please"

It goes both ways I guess.

[El Rojo]

The thing about robbing brit shops is mainly because it's fucking easy to rob there, and that gos wwith another spaniard mind set, la picaresca. BTW, no spaniard can say athing about the brits attaking the gold galleons while that gold came from the Americas, which the spaniards stole.

mostly this is the case, although once when i was with the spanish exchange, damn near every spaniard in the group (approx 30) got busted for stealing from GAP, and we were evicted from the shopping center. i wanted to congradulate them all for thier healthy lack of respect regarding private property, but i sheepishly decline due to having my teachers around. viz the american gold stealing, that was what the (!?) was for.

Y que significa "la picaresca". creo que concozco bastante de la vida espanol, "manana manana" como manera de trabajo, ganar "sin dar golpe" y "el pelotazo" pero picaresca no lo sey.

[El Rojo]

To be fair though, we may be rude, bt I think the yanks have to have it for sheer ignorance. They never have a clue. Ever. As psyco rightly said, they think that everywhere that isnt america is some disneyland built for thier needs.

I was once flying over the French / Spanish border, and we were all looking at the mountain range, which was rather pretty, when a loud american voice bellowed to one of thier ilk. "oh my god were crossing the alpines!"


Not even the alps, which would be acceptably wrong. the alpines.

[Sasha]

To be fair though, we may be rude, bt I think the yanks have to have it for sheer ignorance. They never have a clue. Ever. As psyco rightly said, they think that everywhere that isnt america is some disneyland built for thier needs.

I was once flying over the French / Spanish border, and we were all looking at the mountain range, which was rather pretty, when a loud american voice bellowed to one of thier ilk. "oh my god were crossing the alpines!"


Not even the alps, which would be acceptably wrong. the alpines.

thats nothing, i was once on the eurolines to paris and in the same bus was a group of the most horrible obnoxious american girls, proper stereotype ones, on their way to, yes you guessed correct, disneyland paris. god knows why you would, if you have only 5 days on the continent like they did waste a whole one in disneyland, its not like its going to be much different from the ones in the US now is it....
anyway, enroute through belgium one of this girls shrieks out "hey i just saw highway signs to another amusement park, maybe we can go there next time" at which i inform them that, no this wasnt an amusement park, this was an former concentration camp, to which she snobbishly claims i cant be right because "they weren't located in france but in east-germany" :crying:

[DDR]

Y que significa "la picaresca". creo que concozco bastante de la vida espanol, "manana manana" como manera de trabajo, ganar "sin dar golpe" y "el pelotazo" pero picaresca no lo sey.

La picaresca, it's all that together. Mañana (http://inciclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ma%C3%B1ana) as a filosophical motto, cinco miran y uno trabaja (http://inciclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cinco_miran_y_uno_trabaja) as a work motto, etc.

[El Rojo]

with "manana" i mean the popular idea of doing everything tomorow, which as a student i spport enthusiastically.

@ psycho, two old american women once asked me for directions for hyde park, whilst we were standing in it. They then asked for directions to the Victoria monument (which, incidentally, might be the most disgusting imperialist monument anywhere, its got like, africa, europe, asia and the americas personified all kneeling to queen vic, offering thier native produce to her in grateful defference, mostly all made of fucking gold.) anyhoo, when we then pointed at it they were amazed at my miraculous navigation abilites.