How to overcome frustration/existential angst?

[jastrub]

Hello all.

I am a 16-year-old who has, over the past year, become very enthralled with the literature from the liberterian left. My interest occurred at a time when I viewed both my personal life and the global situation in a very negative light. I started looking into these kinds of ideologies last June, during the time of the Oil Spill. The events of that spring, most prominently the oil spill, left me with this feeling of global frustration. I felt as if something needed to be done about the world's problems, but I felt disillusioned, both of my own ability to change things, and also of the human institutions that were "supposed" to fix such problems. I quickly began to read copious amounts of Kropotkin and Goldman. However, the philosopher that struck the greatest chord with me was Guy DeBord. His situational ethics and description of a "Society of the Spectacle" confirmed my preexisting thoughts on the role of global media, consumerism and the dehumanizing celebrity matrix in our everyday psychological existence.

Although this literature greatly fascinated me, I began to drift away from the ideologies last winter. I did not do this because I became disillusioned with the ideologies themselves, but rather, I was irritated by how they made me feel. Reading anarchist literature was empowering at first, but eventually became drab, depressing, and above all, frustrating to live by. There is, I discovered, no way to live by the values of a leftist ideologue in modern society. Whether you take the primitivist/regression route and become the next Thoreau, or if you prefer the Leninist imagery of an industrial worker's commune, you just can't pull it off in modern society. Even if you are an objectivist or a minarchist, you STILL cannot live by your values. I found it increasingly difficult to call myself a member of the libertarian left since I was living the life of a person in a world constructed by the authoritarian-right.

I also found that it was getting in the way of my friendships. And it wasn't even a kind of hegelian alienation here, but moreso my friends' frustration with me becoming a zealot. I realize in retrospect that I probably wasn't very fun, nor very accessible at those times when I was trying to be a propagandist. I feel almost ashamed, not for my ideology, but for throwing it around like that. Not to mention that now I am known by most in the school as "that weird kid who thinks it's wrong to want an iPhone".

Overall, my own insecurities with being a zealot, plus my friendship/familial issues and my existential frustration that came with trying to overcome a world that is austencibly fake and self-destructive, led me to become very depressed. So after 5 months of trying to confront these unconfrontable issues, I just decided to give up.

But now I'm back... but wait... what am I to do now? I am becoming reingulfed in the literature and the ideas and the frustration. How can I transcend this? And how can I maintain my ideology without becoming a jerk? And how can I maintain my autonomy and freedom while still having a consistent philosophical code? And how can I fix this broken world? I am so frustrated right now, and I really need help. So somebody please, help me out here.

[smk]

I'm actually going through your exact situation. As a 17 year old, living in an extremely conservative area of the country with overbearing parents, I often look at the world as hopeless because it seems like there is nothing that I can do to change it. (I unconsciously translate this to be the situation for everyone around the world, coming to the conclusion that not I nor anyone will be able to fix the global machine.) I do my best, but my best is meaningless to the world. In my heart I love Kropotkin and other anarcho-communist theorists, but after reading them, my mind tells me that any change is impossible (goofy sounding, I know). Everyday I see what is so fucked up in the world as far as consumerism, neo-imperialism, oligarchy, and the general brainwashing of the public so that at times I just give up and resign myself to the system.

You want to make your world into what you believe is right, but you dont know how to do it. I don't see how I or anyone can do anything to fix this machine at this point, but hopefully I can provide palliative care to those that it chews up and spits out while it eventually rusts away from its self-destructive ways.

This is what I find solace in: that capitalism MUST destroy itself eventually (I'm thinking probably because of its effects on the environment. The elites' brainwashing has been unfortunately effective in sedating the majority of the population into thinking that capitalism is good, or rather that there is no viable alternative.) As we live in exponential times, I see this change as happening within my lifetime. I don't agree with Marx on a lot of things, but I do believe that the downfall of capitalism is a historic inevitability.

You aren't going to change someone's mind by preaching things which go completely against their schema. They need a reason to believe you. That reason will come eventually, but until then, why would some middle-class American high school kids believe you? They believe that the system is benefiting them and allowing them to live their comfortable lives with their iPhones and American Idol. You just want to shake them and tell them to wake up from their dream, but it is exceedingly difficult "to awaken one who, awake, dreams that he is awake." (Kierkegaard). Humans are short-sighted. Until the problems come to them personally, they don't care. Until then, live by your principles as best as you can, but know that, as Lenin said, "one cannot live in society and be free from society." You are going to have to make compromises for now. If there are people who are interested in what you have to say, by all means, blab on and on, but other than that, it seems that there isn't much that one can do but make small gains here and there for the world around you. The revolution is coming, but you'll have to wait until crisis for the people to be awoken from their dreams.


[there were some fairly controversial thoughts which could get me branded as a pragmatist, revisionist, or something else which is deemed an insult on revleft, so if you disagree with anything here, I would love to discuss them further.]

[ʇsıɥɔɹɐuɐ ıɯɐbıɹo]

#1 Relax, the world changes a bit more everyday, progress marches on, yadda yadda yadda. No, we might not live to see a global communist revolution, but today we see revolutions that start their way to being part of the avalanche that will become one later in the middle east as people (who probably have jobs) demand their rights from their so-called leaders. They want to be up to par with us in the West and have more rights like we do. All we can do is try to stay the course, make sure that our dream doesn't die out for lack of discussion.

#2 There is a school of thought called absurdism, when you are feeling down just remember that existence is absurd, and while there may or may not be a meaning to life, it is most likely out of our reach as humans with tiny brains. Don't be a nihilist or you might end up committing suicide, but don't fall for people who say you only have x reason to live; you're a human being, live how you want.

#3 While it maybe hard to live your life as a leftist in the Western Hemisphere it is not impossible. The virtues you espouse are things you can practice in everyday life: Solidarity with your working friends, sharing with others, not discriminating on race or gender, trying to educate people, making your community better for everyone. These don't need a revolution, they need more effort. Sometimes you won't see any reaction to what you do, but sometimes someone thanks you.

#4 If you don't want to be a jerk about being an anarchist then don't, it doesn't have to be the single dimension of your character. You can do other normal western things like play video games and go to movies with your friends (or torrent them :p) because yo have a skeptical mind and you can use it to deconstruct the messages you receive so they don't brainwash you. If someone asks "what did you think of that movie" don't launch into a pre-written essay you had in your back pocket, just give them one or two sentences, make them interesting so they want to ask you for more thoughts. But don't be pushy about it with your friends, I'm sure your friends don't want to spend all day talking controversially about politics from other ends of the spectrum, they want to be friends not debate opponents everyday.

[ar734]

How does a 16 yr old overcome angst and frustration? Believe me, you have to grow out of it. Try not to worry about it so much. Remember the words of Benjamin Braddock: "Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?"

[p0is0n]

Capture yourself a nazi or a brat, release your frustration with your fists. Works wonders, I promise.

[Godard]

Jastrub, I went through something similar when I was in HS, and from my experience, I think the others have made some good points.

I'll just add (stress rather) that time takes care of most things. The more you struggle with these problems on an individual basis the easier you're able to cope with them, and hopefully, overcome them. If your situation evolves like mine did then you'll oscillate around the issue until you settle in a position ( or zone, more accurately) you feel comfortable with.

I'm still young, so I don't have it figured out, but maybe that will be helpful.


You can do other normal western things like play video games and go to movies with your friends (or torrent them :p) because yo have a skeptical mind and you can use it to deconstruct the messages you receive so they don't brainwash you.

Do this and you'll have great analysis skills and a better understanding of the dominant ideology. Opposition doesn't need to mean disengagement.

[REVLEFT'S BIEGGST MATSER TROL]

Spend more time with nice people, less time reading on existentialistism :)

Actually I don't know, I think a lot of people on this site have been roughly where you are, I recall the frustration and so on is immense. I don't quite know how you'd overcome that fully, but I think, people who first come to the left and are interested in politics have a tenancy to let it become a totally overriding interest in their lives, always thinking about politics and so on. At least with me, it got to. the point where I felt totally sick of thinking about politics, I just couldn't stop myself really. But it sounds like you are kinda in the same bout, so I think the best way out of this is to remember, even if you are happy with politics being really important too you, is to remember that the stuff your critising, while it is extremely shit and important, doesn't really, or totally affect those things which I imagine are also very important to you. If you like your friends or girlfriend or family, those people are a worthy intrest and so on and there really isn't any need to involve politics in that?

I'm not trying to say you should forget about politics for your own good, i'm saying there are probably significant parts of your life that don't require thinking about politics for since they aren't really part of what your angry about. Sure we live in a sometimes fake or materialistic society, but your friends (or whatever) like you geniuely, so don't let capitalism's shittiness get you down too much in regard to intrests like that, it doesn't have to ruin your whole life!

[Rakhmetov]

Read State & Revolution by Lenin--- that always gets me through existential angst.

:D

[LostDesperado]

I can understand the angst. I'm a 17 year old who just started getting into Leftist ideology. My friends and family are materialistic and it's hard not to criticize but for the most part take each matter one step at a time, as said above.

[jastrub]

Thanks to all who posted here... I really do appreciate your input. This helps a lot. I know that I don't have to be a martyr, and I feel as if I am moving in a better direction. That said, I don't want to give up my politicism just so that I can be reabsorbed into the society of the spectacle. Part of my dilemma is how to treat reality. If I accept it for what it is, I often get depressed and frustrated, but I couldn't live with myself if I simply "delved back into the matrix", so to speak.

[Philosopher Jay]

Hi Jastrub,

Materialistically speaking, be sure to get eight hours of sleep a night (or close to it) and eat a good breakfast.
Ideologically speaking, I suggest looking for the historical and class contradictions in things. Nothing is as good, bad, or simple as it first seems.

[DavidX]

"X is pretty messed up because of his ideas, but people will try to reduce that to psychology -they will say X is messed up, out of some mental deficiency or character flaw"
"In the end that is all they need to say and remember, they will not remember the ideas or the near-impossibility of articulation and engagement of an idea within the confines of a happy normal life today."

"X questions one's way forward, one's life, under critical scrutiny, not insecurity, and does not assume the role of tangible (useful, coherent, likeable) personal identity as required by necessities of daily life and bourgeois society."

"to an extreme manifestation of this, personal ill or tragedy becomes entangled with political and philosophical ideas, leading to profound feelings of despair, anxiety, cycles of disillusionment and rediscovery. X slowly becomes like a wounded dog, upon the sight of which others in mis-sight of their own ills kick with impunity."


"When we everyday are confronted by a systemic violence which, permeates every single part of our existence, there is not some small measure we can take to displace our ideas without sacrificing some part of ourselves to the propagation of that violence- as soon as one realizes anything about anything in this world it is no longer possible for a "beautiful soul" politics."

"X's only consolation in this world has been a self-identification with the tragedy of a lost cause. A devotion to a lost cause is in itself, X believes half-seriously and half ironically, that it is a transcendental categorical victory in itself."

"Given a second choice, X would not choose to live in any other way. holding that, possibly; to dedicate ourselves to a life of hard work is our only (half)salvation."

"Philospher Jay is more intelligent, and indeed much more coherent than me"

[DavidX]

I claim that the original post contains more honesty and fidelity to a radical engagement with the real stuff of politics then all but a few of the posts in this forum, and probably more than all of mine.

What is the first serious question of any serious marxist, radical, artist, whatever:

How should a person be?

[DavidX]

The most beautiful book I have ever read on this subject is Minima Moralia. subtitled "reflections on a damaged life"

A collection of aphorisms and short essays by Theodor Adorno, a famous Marxist theoretician who suffered the nazis and the pain of an (radical) intellectual in emigration (america)

It will pull you out of any slump and put you on your feet with fighting spirit! This is not some hackneyed advertisement! I will email a pdf (I think I have one) or better upon pm.

Onward!

[ZeroNowhere]

I claim that the original post contains more honesty and fidelity to a radical engagement with Marxism then all but a few of the posts in this forum, and probably more than all of mine.
Not particularly, it seems to show more of an engagement with the 'libertarian left' mentioned by the poster.

[Bronco]

True, there wont be any revolution in your time but there are things you can do to try and undermine the State, counter-economics for example

[DavidX]

Not particularly, it seems to show more of an engagement with the 'libertarian left' mentioned by the poster.

I mis-commented out of pure idiocy for sure, but i'm willing to try to prove to you, if you are willing to humor me, that my sentiments are more then merely bourgeois platitudes as intuited and implied(?) in your other comment.

[Zukunftsmusik]

My advice is this: try writing. I know it's a cliché, but writing actually works as a form of therapy, at least it works for me. Whenever you feel frustrated, try to write down what you feel, or at least try to write something. You won't necessarily write as a God in the beginning (I have written countless texts just saying 'I hate my life right now', 'my parents are annoying' etc., but in better moments I have actually managed to write some quality texts. I think.) If writing doesn't work for you, try something else as long as it's creative: music, painting/drawing etc. Frustration and angst can lead to something good, if you 'channel' it right.

[Decolonize The Left]

How to overcome frustration/existential angst?

Stop thinking about it and do something.

Existential angst stems from a perceived lack of meaning. Meaning is created through action. Depression/frustration occurs when the individual is unable to act due to this perceived lack of meaning, for all actions seem equally as meaningless. Yet it is only through action - actual physical activity - that meaning is really created, preferably with other people. The arts are helpful here for the individual can retain some sort of autonomy and isolation yet still be productive.

Remember that the notion of a radical leftist revolution is waged by the entire proletariat, not you and your noble cause. It is a popular movement of people working together to change the fundamental economic processes of a system. Take solace in the anonymity afforded to you by this mass action - take a breath in the space created by your brothers and sisters who fight across the world for the same thing - and smile at the fact that this fight carves out a small space for you to do what you can in your situation, and nothing more.

- August

[Minima]

There's a good quote I remember using once by Oscar Wilde. Although it concerns itself with the artist. There is no escape, as wisely mentioned by other posters, in art. A real engagement with art, philosophy etc, as a radical thinker will bring you back to those fundamental problems in myriad forms. Here is Wilde:

"Most personalities have been obliged to be rebels. Half their strength has been wasted in friction. Byron's personality, for instance, was terribly wasted in its battle with the stupidity, and hypocrisy, and Philistinism of the English. Such battles do not always intensify strength: they often exaggerate weakness. Byron was never able to give us what he might have given us. Shelley escaped better. Still, even in Shelley the note of rebellion is sometimes too strong. The note of the perfect personality is not rebellion, but peace."

best to you jastrub!