Martin Blank
26th January 2011, 01:30
Since I know a lot of people here will be watching the State of the Union speech tonight (don't deny it!), here is the Official SOTU Drinking Game card for the speech. This is designed for beer, not hard liquor, so if you try playing with the hard stuff, I'm not taking responsibility for your unfortunate death.
Anyway, here we go:...
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Drink if Obama signs an autograph on his way to/from the podium
- x2 if what he is signing is not a program
- x3 if he gives them a kiss
- x4 if it is a Republican (or Joe Lieberman)
Drink if you find yourself adjusting your television due to John Boehner's skin color
Drink if "the State of our Union is strong"
- x2 if "very strong"
Drink when Obama says "courage of our convictions"
Drink when Obama says "my friends"
- x2 if he says "my friends across the aisle"
Drink when Obama says anything that sounds like "boner"
- x2 if it works as a double entendre
Drink if you catch John Boehner wiping his eyes
- x2 if the camera catches him openly weeping
Drink if Joe Biden's eyes are closed
- x2 if his head nods, falling asleep
Drink if Obama mentions bi-partisanship
- x2 if he says "post-partisan"
Drink if Obama mentions Main Street and Wall Street in the same sentence
- x2 if it is with negative connotations
Drink if Obama defends the Health Insurance Reform Bill
Drink if Obama tells us to "tighten our belts"
- x2 if this is followed by "shared sacrifice"
- x3 if this is followed by "bridge the gap"
- finish your drink if all three were in the same sentence
Drink if the camera pans to a Democrat and Republican sitting next to each other
- x2 if the Republican is Rand Paul or Michelle Bachmann
- x3 if the Democrat they're sitting with is Dennis Kucinich
- finish your drink if they're holding hands at any point
Drink when the Democrats in Congress give Obama a standing ovation
- x2 if both sides of Congress do
- finish your drink if only the Republicans do
Drink when Rep. Joe "You lie!" Wilson is shown on camera
- x2 if he is nodding affirmatively
- x3 is he is applauding
- finish your drink if he is part of a standing ovation
Drink if Obama makes a folksy reference to sports
- x2 if he mentions that he plays basketball
- x3 if he mentions his injury
Drink if Obama states "there will be plenty of time for campaigning in 2012"
- x2 if the camera pans to Mitch McConnell
- x3 if the camera pans to someone that will likely be running against him in 2012
Drink if Obama says we must "secure our borders"
- x2 if the camera pans to someone that looks Latino
- x3 if the camera pans to Robert Menendez (D-NJ) or Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Drink if Obama launches into a story about someone he has met that is unemployed, or was unemployed for a significant duration of time
- x2 if that person is in the audience
- x3 if Michelle Obama is in the same camera shot
Drink if Obama reminds us that he inherited this economy
- x2 if he also reminds us that he inherited two wars
- finish your drink if that's all he says about one or the other
Drink if anything is happening "for the first time in history"
Drink if there is "progress in the Middle East"
Drink if Obama reminds us that he "is hopeful"
- x2 if he also "seeks change"
- x3 if he says "yes we can"
Drink if Obama mentions how gays may now serve openly in the military
- x2 if the camera then features an individual in uniform
- finish your drink if they are holding hands with someone of the same sex
Drink every time Obama says: "determination", "ideals", "infrastructure", "job creation", "reform", "spirit", "status quo" or "terrorism/terrorist"
Drink if Obama instructs the VP to head a task force
- x2 if he references a task force the VP headed last year that you have never heard of
Drink if Obama wants to appoint a new Czar of Something
Drink if Obama wishes to "be clear"
- x2 if he wishes to "be perfectly clear"
Drink if Obama tells us the message the voters sent
- x2 if it was a "shellacking"
Drink if Obama reminds us that he cut taxes for the middle class
- x2 if the camera shows a clapping Republican
- x3 if there is no clapping when he mentions the Stimulus Bill
Drink if Obama tells us the "true engine of job creation in this country"
- x2 if he mentions "American innovation", "grit", "ingenuity", or "training workers for the future"
Drink if Obama proposes a new initiative
- x2 if it is an initiative that has already been initiated
Drink if Obama says "hand up not hand out"
Drink for each media mention of the "continuity of government" official who is not present
- x2 if you didn't even know that was a Cabinet-level position
- x3 if you find yourself wondering how fast the country would fall apart if s/he was to be president
- finish your drink if the media wonders the same thing
Happy drinking!
Anyway, here we go:...
==============================
Drink if Obama signs an autograph on his way to/from the podium
- x2 if what he is signing is not a program
- x3 if he gives them a kiss
- x4 if it is a Republican (or Joe Lieberman)
Drink if you find yourself adjusting your television due to John Boehner's skin color
Drink if "the State of our Union is strong"
- x2 if "very strong"
Drink when Obama says "courage of our convictions"
Drink when Obama says "my friends"
- x2 if he says "my friends across the aisle"
Drink when Obama says anything that sounds like "boner"
- x2 if it works as a double entendre
Drink if you catch John Boehner wiping his eyes
- x2 if the camera catches him openly weeping
Drink if Joe Biden's eyes are closed
- x2 if his head nods, falling asleep
Drink if Obama mentions bi-partisanship
- x2 if he says "post-partisan"
Drink if Obama mentions Main Street and Wall Street in the same sentence
- x2 if it is with negative connotations
Drink if Obama defends the Health Insurance Reform Bill
Drink if Obama tells us to "tighten our belts"
- x2 if this is followed by "shared sacrifice"
- x3 if this is followed by "bridge the gap"
- finish your drink if all three were in the same sentence
Drink if the camera pans to a Democrat and Republican sitting next to each other
- x2 if the Republican is Rand Paul or Michelle Bachmann
- x3 if the Democrat they're sitting with is Dennis Kucinich
- finish your drink if they're holding hands at any point
Drink when the Democrats in Congress give Obama a standing ovation
- x2 if both sides of Congress do
- finish your drink if only the Republicans do
Drink when Rep. Joe "You lie!" Wilson is shown on camera
- x2 if he is nodding affirmatively
- x3 is he is applauding
- finish your drink if he is part of a standing ovation
Drink if Obama makes a folksy reference to sports
- x2 if he mentions that he plays basketball
- x3 if he mentions his injury
Drink if Obama states "there will be plenty of time for campaigning in 2012"
- x2 if the camera pans to Mitch McConnell
- x3 if the camera pans to someone that will likely be running against him in 2012
Drink if Obama says we must "secure our borders"
- x2 if the camera pans to someone that looks Latino
- x3 if the camera pans to Robert Menendez (D-NJ) or Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Drink if Obama launches into a story about someone he has met that is unemployed, or was unemployed for a significant duration of time
- x2 if that person is in the audience
- x3 if Michelle Obama is in the same camera shot
Drink if Obama reminds us that he inherited this economy
- x2 if he also reminds us that he inherited two wars
- finish your drink if that's all he says about one or the other
Drink if anything is happening "for the first time in history"
Drink if there is "progress in the Middle East"
Drink if Obama reminds us that he "is hopeful"
- x2 if he also "seeks change"
- x3 if he says "yes we can"
Drink if Obama mentions how gays may now serve openly in the military
- x2 if the camera then features an individual in uniform
- finish your drink if they are holding hands with someone of the same sex
Drink every time Obama says: "determination", "ideals", "infrastructure", "job creation", "reform", "spirit", "status quo" or "terrorism/terrorist"
Drink if Obama instructs the VP to head a task force
- x2 if he references a task force the VP headed last year that you have never heard of
Drink if Obama wants to appoint a new Czar of Something
Drink if Obama wishes to "be clear"
- x2 if he wishes to "be perfectly clear"
Drink if Obama tells us the message the voters sent
- x2 if it was a "shellacking"
Drink if Obama reminds us that he cut taxes for the middle class
- x2 if the camera shows a clapping Republican
- x3 if there is no clapping when he mentions the Stimulus Bill
Drink if Obama tells us the "true engine of job creation in this country"
- x2 if he mentions "American innovation", "grit", "ingenuity", or "training workers for the future"
Drink if Obama proposes a new initiative
- x2 if it is an initiative that has already been initiated
Drink if Obama says "hand up not hand out"
Drink for each media mention of the "continuity of government" official who is not present
- x2 if you didn't even know that was a Cabinet-level position
- x3 if you find yourself wondering how fast the country would fall apart if s/he was to be president
- finish your drink if the media wonders the same thing
Happy drinking!