Disowning One's Family

[The Fighting_Crusnik]

I wasn't sure where to put this, so I figured chit chat for now... Anyways, I'm wondering if there is anyone who's either disowned their own family or been disowned by their family. The reason being, is that in the past few years, I sought to find out who I really am rather than what they (my family) and society desire to be. Because of this search, I became a libertarian socialist, I decided to evaluate the religion I was raised in and decided that it was a lot of bull and decided to come out of the closet (sexuality wise). Overall, these things have pissed off my family, but when I told them the truth that I'm bi, they pretty much said it was the last draw and that if I began dating a guy, they'd disown me. Since they told me, I've been treated like shit by most of my family and have decided that I want to do all that I can to get the hell away from them for good because I want to live my life my own way. However, I'm not completely sure what to do nor am I sure that this is actually the best solution... And hell, maybe a forum isn't the best place to be looking for advice :cool:

[Blackscare]

Well, I'm guessing you're around the age of 18, which in many places is the legal age of emancipation. I wouldn't worry about "disowning" people or being disowned, you realize pretty quick once you're old enough to be independent that your parents are just people, and like everyone else they have their own weird baggage and such. Part of growing up is becoming independent and no longer being beholden to one's parents.

I'd suggest you find a roommate or three and get an apartment as soon as possible, if you're not 18 or don't have the money, just get a job and save your fucking money. Seriously. Having a cushion of cash makes shit SOOOO much easier than just striking out with nothing but a paycheck-to-paycheck income. Also, people may give me shit for this next bit but just think about it, don't go out of your way to provoke your parents, keep your head down and get out when you can.

I'm queer myself and I have experience with this. While, at the time, you have it in your head that you're going to "define yourself" or stop "living a lie", you're really just going to dump a big load of shit on your parents that you know is going to royally freak them out. A lot of times when you're in that position that's exactly what you want to do because you feel so boxed in and resentful. Trust me, it does nothing but make your life hell while you're home. Your focus should be getting out, not trying to change them or whatever else your intentions are. You're not going to accomplish anything in that regard. Just save your money, make your plans, and when that birthday comes, go out and do something. Living a good life and leaving your crazy parents behind is the ultimate fuck you, trust me. In the meantime, it is their house and they have the power. You're only fucking yourself over by doing this dance with them.

[Rusty Shackleford]

make total destroy of all fancy cutlery and dishes.

[The Fighting_Crusnik]

Well, I'm 19 and in college. I've been planning on getting a job but my biggest goal is to stay in college so that I can get my Bachelors in Computer Science and my various minors. Fortunately, living in the dorms helps with the tension a lot, but when I get stuck home during breaks and various weekends, things get shitty real fast.

[Tablo]

Well, I'm guessing you're around the age of 18, which in many places is the legal age of emancipation. I wouldn't worry about "disowning" people or being disowned, you realize pretty quick once you're old enough to be independent that your parents are just people, and like everyone else they have their own weird baggage and such. Part of growing up is becoming independent and no longer being beholden to one's parents.

I'd suggest you find a roommate or three and get an apartment as soon as possible, if you're not 18 or don't have the money, just get a job and save your fucking money. Seriously. Having a cushion of cash makes shit SOOOO much easier than just striking out with nothing but a paycheck-to-paycheck income. Also, people may give me shit for this next bit but just think about it, don't go out of your way to provoke your parents, keep your head down and get out when you can.

I'm queer myself and I have experience with this. While, at the time, you have it in your head that you're going to "define yourself" or stop "living a lie", you're really just going to dump a big load of shit on your parents that you know is going to royally freak them out. A lot of times when you're in that position that's exactly what you want to do because you feel so boxed in and resentful. Trust me, it does nothing but make your life hell while you're home. Your focus should be getting out, not trying to change them or whatever else your intentions are. You're not going to accomplish anything in that regard. Just save your money, make your plans, and when that birthday comes, go out and do something. Living a good life and leaving your crazy parents behind is the ultimate fuck you, trust me. In the meantime, it is their house and they have the power. You're only fucking yourself over by doing this dance with them.
Great advice. QFT.

[Jack]

Great advice. QFT.


Blackscare's not really wrong, sometimes you have to "fake it 'til you make it". It's tough as shit to support yourself at 19 without your parents.

[Os Cangaceiros]

I would never disown my parents, because I know that they'd never disown me. Honestly they've supported me and put up with more of my shit even no sane person would've.

I realize that some people's parents just suck, though.

[Manic Impressive]

Blackscare's not really wrong, sometimes you have to "fake it 'til you make it". It's tough as shit to support yourself at 19 without your parents.
I moved out when I was 16 and yeah it was tough until I was 18 but by 19 I was doing great. But then I didn't have to worry about education.

Are you not allowed to stay on campus over the weekend or holidays? If not then go round a friends place for the holidays. If you really want to do it then you can find ways.

[TC]

Just stay on campus during the holidays and find somewhere else to stay during the summer (probably with friends) - you shouldn't feel like you have to go back to a shitty "family" environment. I haven't been "home" for more than seven years.

[Ele'ill]

I wasn't sure where to put this, so I figured chit chat for now... Anyways, I'm wondering if there is anyone who's either disowned their own family or been disowned by their family. The reason being, is that in the past few years, I sought to find out who I really am rather than what they (my family) and society desire to be. Because of this search, I became a libertarian socialist, I decided to evaluate the religion I was raised in and decided that it was a lot of bull and decided to come out of the closet (sexuality wise). Overall, these things have pissed off my family, but when I told them the truth that I'm bi, they pretty much said it was the last draw and that if I began dating a guy, they'd disown me. Since they told me, I've been treated like shit by most of my family and have decided that I want to do all that I can to get the hell away from them for good because I want to live my life my own way. However, I'm not completely sure what to do nor am I sure that this is actually the best solution... And hell, maybe a forum isn't the best place to be looking for advice :cool:

I was never disowned and I have never disowned however I come from a broken home and my advice is to first not make overly lyrical posts by accident and also to stick it out in college for as long as you possibly can. It is a very cold world and if you're in the middle of bettering your future situation I would stick to it. I assume there's no violent verbal harassment or physical harm coming from your family?