I am a despicable human being?

[Nietzsche's Ghost]

:confused:

So, the other night I had a party. I ended up sleeping with this girl, who has been dating some fellow for a year. We were both drunk, and it was rather fun. I told my best friend (who wasn't at the party, doesn't drink, flips shit when I drink, thinks I am an alcoholic etc) about it the next day and she asked if the girl had a boyfriend. I said "Yeah, I guess." And she says "You are a despicable human being." :blink: Regardless of that I was still happy, ecstatic even, and still am. I am still talking to the girl and am trying to see her again. (She likes Guinness! :wub: )

The question is:

Am I a despicable human being? Sociopath, perhaps?

Oh, and the girl is trying to break up with said boyfriend.

[gorillafuck]

You're not a despicable human being but you shouldn't have done that.

[Bright Banana Beard]

Your friend is overreacting, it is her problem. If the girl who slept you were fine with it and are not happy with her boyfriend, then it is fine as her boyfriend doesn't have the right to control her and are going to break up anyway.

[Sasha]

@ zeekloid: Why not? He is single, she is not dating any of his friends. The boyfriend is her problem, not his.

[Nietzsche's Ghost]

Thank you Psycho and Gran Rojo. Oh, another part of the story, a mutual best friend of ours (the girl and I's, that is) is the one who is hooking us up, and still continuing to help.

I tried to feel bad about it, but it didn't work. :lol:

[kitsune]

I don't think so. There's a common and rather warped notion that relationship equals ownership: she belongs to the other guy. You stole his girl! As if she can't think for herself and make her own choices.

I think she belongs to nobody but herself, and she can choose who she wants to have a relationship with.

[Sasha]

You might only want to ditch the pedobear avatar before you show her revleft ;)

[Blackscare]

I don't think it's a matter of "ownership" or whatever people want to make it out as. There is such a thing, however, as a woman acting like a shitty person sometimes, as well as men. It's not always about being liberated or whatever.


You're not a bad person, but perhaps a tad callous. She is the shitty person, because she's fucking with someone else's emotions instead of doing the right thing and breaking up with her boyfriend if she doesn't want him.

[Raúl Duke]

:confused:

So, the other night I had a party. I ended up sleeping with this girl, who has been dating some fellow for a year. We were both drunk, and it was rather fun. I told my best friend (who wasn't at the party, doesn't drink, flips shit when I drink, thinks I am an alcoholic etc) about it the next day and she asked if the girl had a boyfriend. I said "Yeah, I guess." And she says "You are a despicable human being." :blink: Regardless of that I was still happy, ecstatic even, and still am. I am still talking to the girl and am trying to see her again. (She likes Guinness! :wub: )

The question is:

Am I a despicable human being? Sociopath, perhaps?

Oh, and the girl is trying to break up with said boyfriend.

No, you're not.

You're best friend needs to chill the fuck out.

[Ele'ill]

You might only want to ditch the pedobear avatar before you show her revleft ;)

I was scrolling down the thread hoping nobody else had said this. Damnit.

[Lyev]

Yes, you are reactionary and sexist for having sex with a woman, especially because she was drunk. To OI with you!

[Sasha]

Little warning though; if she does it to him, she might do it to you. No reason not to enjoy it as long as it lasts but don't get your hopes up that this one will be an keeper.

[Nietzsche's Ghost]

Nothing will come between me and pedobear. Nothing.

[Nietzsche's Ghost]

Oh, no worries. That thought has already crossed my mind.

[black magick hustla]

well seeing as i was recently ditched for some motherfucker that lives in boring whitesuburbialand i will tell you this

what you did was a bit shitty. i mean if the girl doesnt like her dude she should man up and tell him that. i dont think you are despicable tho

[Sasha]

she should man up?

[Pretty Flaco]

Yes, you are reactionary and sexist for having sex with a woman, especially because she was drunk. To OI with you!

fuck OI: to the gulags!

[Axle]

Nope, you're fine. The way I see it, if she isn't dating any of your friends, it's open season. And if anyone had to be despicable in that situation, it'd be her, no you.

[Nietzsche's Ghost]

Many thanks to you all. The internet is the best place for advice and emotional dilemmas ;)

My friend (the flippant one) says if I don't tell the girl's boyfriend she will. She doesn't know either the girl or her boyfriend. Argh.

[Sean]

Sociopath, Jesus get over yourself! You're someone with a weak ego who can't handle their sauce, but it hardly makes you dispicable. Makes you a bit sad that you had to broadcast to the internet you had OMG SEX even if you did pose it as a question, you're really just bloggin' the fact you got your hole.

Pretty sure brewers droop is supposed to act as a childlock on your meat and two veg while hammered, I commend you on your ability to play pool with a length of rope.:D

[Sir Comradical]

S'all consensual, s'all good. Her boyfriend, her problem.

[Sasha]

Many thanks to you all. The internet is the best place for advice and emotional dilemmas ;)

My friend (the flippant one) says if I don't tell the girl's boyfriend she will. She doesn't know either the girl or her boyfriend. Argh.


i think someone needs to get dumped indeed... YOUR FRIEND BY YOU!
she needs to keep her fucking nose out of other peoples fucking buisness (pun unintended). this is not normal behavior (she is either nuts or nuts and haves an crush on you herself)

[Nietzsche's Ghost]

Phaha. The sociopath was in jest. I only posted it because I found the situation amusing, and felt others would as well.

[bailey_187]

nah bruh

question is, can u take the boyfriend in a fight? If not, maybe problem

[Sean]

Not your mother here, but if she's done this with you, and given that your avatar suggests you're a channer and therefore pretty far down the sexual foodchain, she probably does it a lot (I don't want to sound like I'm saying channers are ugly bottom rung fellas, but I am so it comes out that way). Hope you used protection, anyone who fucks a btard fucks anything.

[kitsune]

Little warning though; if she does it to him, she might do it to you. No reason not to enjoy it as long as it lasts but don't get your hopes up that this one will be an keeper.

I was thinking of this, too. It may not be the case, but it's something to be aware of.


i mean if the girl doesnt like her dude she should man up and tell him that.

True. There's no excuse for being dishonest in a relationship or sneaking around. I'd certainly break it off with someone if it wasn't working out before getting involved with anyone else. I suppose it's possible to imagine circumstances where it might not happen that way, but they would definitely have to be unusual.

[Jazzratt]

Little warning though; if she does it to him, she might do it to you. No reason not to enjoy it as long as it lasts but don't get your hopes up that this one will be an keeper. I'm not really sure about this. It's not like she was turning her back on a stable relationship with someone she felt cared for her and so on. People do things based on circumstance and I think it's unfair to start drawing conclusions about whether or not someone is a "keeper" from things like this.

[Os Cangaceiros]

given that your avatar suggests you're a channer and therefore pretty far down the sexual foodchain, she probably does it a lot (I don't want to sound like I'm saying channers are ugly bottom rung fellas, but I am so it comes out that way). Hope you used protection, anyone who fucks a btard fucks anything.

LOL wow :lol:

[Sean]

I'm not really sure about this. It's not like she was turning her back on a stable relationship with someone she felt cared for her and so on. People do things based on circumstance and I think it's unfair to start drawing conclusions about whether or not someone is a "keeper" from things like this.
Well we can debate about open relationships some other time, but the default in the world is monogamy and lets face it, people who get drunk and screw around and ask if theres something wrong with them are pretty...default.
I mean I'm only half playing devils advocate here to counter the mannish backslapping going on because WOOO BEER, WOOO SEX but theres a word for people like that and revleft will infract me for using it and its not sociopath or anything so hardcore.
Knockbacks are annoying till you get the hang of it, even a relationship petering out into fuckbuddies friends then nothing leaves a horrible feeling in your stomach even if you're the one doing it. I've been dumped out of a pretty open semi-relationship BEFORE the other parties started fucking and felt like an inconsolable lump of shite that lost a winning lotto card for MONTHS, so I don't even know how people handle cheating in a monogomous relationship.

Its best to live by the policy of not being an arsehole and I understand that drunk things happen, but if you don't take into account how someone else feels whether you've met them or not then I don't know if I'd like you as a friend. His friend sounds like an arse though, who says dispicable?

[Wanted Man]

Well, you definitely get man points from me for your manly exploits, bro.

[Meridian]

Your friend is overreacting, it is her problem. If the girl who slept you were fine with it and are not happy with her boyfriend, then it is fine as her boyfriend doesn't have the right to control her and are going to break up anyway.
Are you joking?

It does not matter if its a woman or a man, if you cheat on someone (that is, have sex outside of relationship unknowingly to the other part and when the couple has formally or informally agreed otherwise) that is not the problem of the victim (the boyfriend, in this case). It's a fucked up thing to do.

To the starter of this thread; no, you are not "despicable", but you should talk about the above paragraph with the person.

[Jazzratt]

Well we can debate about open relationships some other time, but the default in the world is monogamy and lets face it, people who get drunk and screw around and ask if theres something wrong with them are pretty...default. I'm not trying to argue about open relationships though. I didn't actually mention them at all. The point is that "cheating" on a partner that you dislike and don't actually want to be in a relationship with (which I understand was what the woman in question was doing) does not mean you would act in the same way with someone else. This is not an unreasonable position.


I mean I'm only half playing devils advocate here to counter the mannish backslapping going on because WOOO BEER, WOOO SEX but theres a word for people like that and revleft will infract me for using it and its not sociopath or anything so hardcore.
Knockbacks are annoying till you get the hang of it, even a relationship petering out into fuckbuddies friends then nothing leaves a horrible feeling in your stomach even if you're the one doing it. I've been dumped out of a pretty open semi-relationship BEFORE the other parties started fucking and felt like an inconsolable lump of shite that lost a winning lotto card for MONTHS, so I don't even know how people handle cheating in a monogomous relationship. I really don't know how you got the impression I was saying that being dumped doesn't feel awful, though? In fact I haven't advanced an opinion on this situation at all, simply disagreed with psycho when he said "if she does it to him, she might do it to you."


Its best to live by the policy of not being an arsehole and I understand that drunk things happen, but if you don't take into account how someone else feels whether you've met them or not then I don't know if I'd like you as a friend. His friend sounds like an arse though, who says dispicable? Well, it is always best not to be an arsehole. Sometimes though an event like this might well catalyse the end of a miserable relationship, it's just not black and white. I'm not about to start cheering this guy on or anything because his isn't a situation I've a particular interest in but I'm not going to condemn him either for much the same reason.

[gorillafuck]

Lol, this isn't an issue of ownership of women and womens liberation. This is an issue of whether or not he was being a jerk.

[Sean]

I'm not trying to argue about open relationships though. I didn't actually mention them at all. The point is that "cheating" on a partner that you dislike and don't actually want to be in a relationship with (which I understand was what the woman in question was doing) does not mean you would act in the same way with someone else. This is not an unreasonable position.
True, but you're defending someone in obscure terms whereas the glaringly obvious is that shes not in a deadend relationship, she got drunk and fucked someoen else. Given that the original poster mentioned how shitfaced they were I doubt this was someone who came into a room thinking long and hard about their relationship before deciding yes, I see an exit with this guy probably trying to wash his dick in an ashtray. You see it different than I do because we're hearing a sweetened version of a drunken fumble.

Its chit-chats, so I'll go with generics rather than specifics.

[kitsune]

Well, it is always best not to be an arsehole. Sometimes though an event like this might well catalyse the end of a miserable relationship, it's just not black and white. I'm not about to start cheering this guy on or anything because his isn't a situation I've a particular interest in but I'm not going to condemn him either for much the same reason.

I agree. The problem is, none of us have anywhere near enough information about the situation or the people involved to make any sort of intelligible assessment. I tend not to be very judgmental anyway. Too many times I thought I knew what was going on in a situation only to later find out it was something completely different.

[Sean]

Also Jazz, if I hurt you I'm sorry, but we were never meant to be. We PMed a few times but everyone saw that I was posting in public. I like to nurture opinion but you have to go around telling everyone with your avatar to fuck theirs. That one night I spend with OP was magical. Sure he didn't make me cum and ok, when HE did, it was while shitting himself on the bathroom floor. But there was a time between the crying and the vomitting that we had a moment. It was a moment we've never shared before Jazzy. I hope we can still be friends.

[Jazzhands]

Don't worry about it. You are a despicable person. But not for the reason you just described.:thumbup1: join the club, comrade.

[Jazzratt]

True, but you're defending someone in obscure terms whereas the glaringly obvious is that shes not in a deadend relationship, she got drunk and fucked someoen else. Given that the original poster mentioned how shitfaced they were I doubt this was someone who came into a room thinking long and hard about their relationship before deciding yes, I see an exit with this guy probably trying to wash his dick in an ashtray. You see it different than I do because we're hearing a sweetened version of a drunken fumble. To be fair the end of the first post is this:

Oh, and the girl is trying to break up with said boyfriend.
which to me is a sign that her relationship is a deadend. I wasn't saying that everyone who is in a relationship and fucks someone else whilst drunk is in some kind of emotional crisis or has a deadend relationship. Jesus fuck, I'm not a total moron. I don't really know whether or not she "see's an exit" in the OP but I think part of what made sex with someone else appealing (aside the alcohol) could well have been the sinking aspect of the relationship.


Its chit-chats, so I'll go with generics rather than specifics. The thread is discussing a specific event, it's difficult to make it purely generic whilst using that as a reference.

[Sean]

All genders and sexualities kick off an "imma dump him/her anyway" when being assholes surely. "Oh please baby harder I cant wait for our kids to get into college - his, not yours" doesnt roll off the tongue as easy.

I'm not saying he just played Jenga with a stable social unit (tm) and didn't call it as the pieces fell down.

I guess we differ on where someone ends a relationship and if that relationship exists if you want to be with someone else. Personally I think default noone else relationship ends when you break up, not when you think, hey I'll fuck a few girls see which feel better, see then. Common courtesy.

By purely generics I meant that the guy has a pedobear avatar and is therefore a fucking liar. OP will not find offense at this stereotype.

[Bilan]

It's not ideal.
Probably shouldn't do that.

[Magón]

Who here, who's actually been to a party (AN ACTUAL PARTY), hasn't gotten fucked up on beer and alcohol, and not slept with someone they might not have done otherwise while sober?

[ZeroNowhere]

Who here, who's actually been to a party (AN ACTUAL PARTY), hasn't gotten fucked up on beer and alcohol, and not slept with someone they might not have done otherwise while sober?Me. I'm a teetotal asexual, and we do that. However, I think one of your 'actual parties' was more than enough.

Anyhow, what does it mean to say that this female is 'trying' to break up with him? I think that that's the important thing here. I also don't think that it's a matter of ownership any more than keeping a promise is a matter of ownership. On the other hand, if the OP simply intends a sort of heterosexual circle jerk, they may do so. After all, sexuality is fluid, although one shouldn't be pulling fluids out of one's arse.

[ÑóẊîöʼn]

All genders and sexualities kick off an "imma dump him/her anyway" when being assholes surely. "Oh please baby harder I cant wait for our kids to get into college - his, not yours" doesnt roll off the tongue as easy.

What?


I'm not saying he just played Jenga with a stable social unit (tm) and didn't call it as the pieces fell down.

Again, what?


I guess we differ on where someone ends a relationship and if that relationship exists if you want to be with someone else. Personally I think default noone else relationship ends when you break up, not when you think, hey I'll fuck a few girls see which feel better, see then. Common courtesy.

I think you're guilty of projecting your own attitudes onto other people. I'm not omniscient about the relationship habits of other people, let alone the majority of the human race, and I don't think you are either.


By purely generics I meant that the guy has a pedobear avatar and is therefore a fucking liar. OP will not find offense at this stereotype.

And of course you, with your b3ta-derived avatar, you are the model of an exemplary human being. :rolleyes: Appearances can be decieving?

[Quail]

I don't think that the OP is despicable, but I also think that many people here are being too unfair on the girl. Even if someone would normally never dream of cheating on a partner, if they're unhappy in the relationship they might end up doing something they wouldn't normally do. I've done it in the past and I'm sure I'm not the only one. (In fact many of my friends have done it as well.) You should all stop being so judgemental given that you don't actually know her or her circumstances.

[Meridian]

I don't think that the OP is despicable, but I also think that many people here are being too unfair on the girl. Even if someone would normally never dream of cheating on a partner, if they're unhappy in the relationship they might end up doing something they wouldn't normally do. I've done it in the past and I'm sure I'm not the only one. (In fact many of my friends have done it as well.) You should all stop being so judgemental given that you don't actually know her or her circumstances.
As you say, I don't think it is very constructive to judge people based on so limited information. That said, if anyone is at 'fault' at all, it is the person who is cheating (if in a couple where having sex with a third part would be strongly against the wishes of the other part). How is it in the vast majority of cases not a thousand times better for the cheating person to talk to the boyfriend/girlfriend instead? Even if that seems like a difficult task, which could be for various reasons, it would still seem to me like having sex with a third part could only make things a lot worse.

I think you are inadvertently judgmental of the victim with that attitude.

[Quail]

As you say, I don't think it is very constructive to judge people based on so limited information. That said, if anyone is at 'fault' at all, it is the person who is cheating (if in a couple where having sex with a third part would be strongly against the wishes of the other part). How is it in the vast majority of cases not a thousand times better for the cheating person to talk to the boyfriend/girlfriend instead? Even if that seems like a difficult task, which could be for various reasons, it would still seem to me like having sex with a third part could only make things a lot worse.

I think you are inadvertently judgmental of the victim with that attitude.
It would, in the vast majority of cases, be better for the person to talk to their partner, but that is easier said than done, and of course, it's easy to say that from the outside looking in. It's entirely possible for someone to know that they should talk to their partner and then get caught up in the moment at a party if they've had too much to drink, which is not a nice thing to do, but it doesn't make them a despicable person. Everyone does things that are ill-advised from time to time.

I'm also not sure how I'm being judgemental of the victim. I'm not assuming that everyone who cheats on their partner because they're unhappy is going out with an abusive arsehole or anything.

[Dimentio]

Nothing I would do, not even if I was sexually attracted to the girl in question and she was sexually attracted by me. Maybe I would do it under the influence of alcohol, but I do never turn drunk anyway. :D

[Raúl Duke]

Who here, who's actually been to a party (AN ACTUAL PARTY), hasn't gotten fucked up on beer and alcohol, and not slept with someone they might not have done otherwise while sober?

me, except the 1st part

:crying:

[La Comédie Noire]

Shit happens.

* High Fives all around

[Jazzratt]

Nothing I would do, not even if I was sexually attracted to the girl in question and she was sexually attracted by me. I think it's one of those things people rule out and get on their high horse about it until they do it. Like drugs or stealing or whatever.


Maybe I would do it under the influence of alcohol, but I do never turn drunk anyway. :D One day I am going to meet you and on that day I will drink you under the fucking table. *chestthump*

[Il Medico]

Give your buddy a beer and tell him to chill the fuck out.

Rapist= Despicable person

Guy who hooks up with girl at party=/= despicable person

No worries, you didn't do anything wrong. The boyfriend is her problem, not yours. (well, unless he wants to kick your ass for sleeping with 'his' girl, then he'd be your problem too I suppose.)

[Dimentio]

I think it's one of those things people rule out and get on their high horse about it until they do it. Like drugs or stealing or whatever.

One day I am going to meet you and on that day I will drink you under the fucking table. *chestthump*

Hahaha... you'r not the first one saying that. :lol:

[REVLEFT'S BIEGGST MATSER TROL]

*Brofist*

[Dimentio]

When I think of it though, last time I was on a party was January 2009.

[Quail]

Hahaha... you'r not the first one saying that. :lol:
I'd try to drink you under the table, but the chances are, I'd be the first one to pass out.

[Sean]

And of course you, with your b3ta-derived avatar, you are the model of an exemplary human being. :rolleyes: Appearances can be decieving?
What's wrong with b3ta? Wrong btard. Noxy, but ok I'll take your point, I'm a far worse human being than b3ta AND 4chan combined.

I'm not allowed to be pissy and offended.

[Il Medico]

Also, i'm fairly sure i could Drink deimento under the table quite easily, I'm a big man, he is not. body mass is in my favor.

[Sean]

I think Dimento would get drunk watching other people get drunk, in fairness. If its a pissing contest, I win. I'm a superhero but when god was handing out the powers I was in the can so I got landed with an iron liver.

The important thing is that OP is just a dick who made a mistake and nothing badass sounding.

[The Garbage Disposal Unit]

Drunk sex is st00pid.
Monogamy is st00pid.

[synthesis]

Hey, if you don't feel bad about it, nothing we say is going to matter anyways. The problem is if you do secretly feel a little bad about it and then you feel like you deserve it when bad things happen to you. If not - fuck it. (No pun intended.)