Wanted Man
6th December 2010, 18:45
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/archive/a/aa/20091116183524!Tov_lenin_ochishchaet.jpg
Dear comrades,
As we all know, it is only a matter of time for Newcastle United, a legit Big Club, to win the Premiership. However, as everyone also knows, Mike Ashley is a true philanthropist. I am willing to bet that this man, God bless him, will be looking for another Premier League club to clean from crappy, inexperienced managers and other scum.
A quick look at the Premier League table reveals to us four clubs on the bottom half who are in dire need of of reorganisation. Four sides that could (and should) be in a position for European qualification, or at least have the potential ability to win the FA Cup and finish in the top half. These clubs are:
Birmingham City: finished 9th last season, after winning promotion the season before that; this season, they languish in 14th place. Due to the weak-kneed chairmen of Motherwell, Hibernian, Rangers and the Scottish FA, their current manager has only managed a total of four sides before. Clearly, the club need an individual with more managerial experience to take the club forward. Considering that Ashley has extremely recent experience with this exact situation, it only makes sense to let him sort things out.
.
Everton: another club who came close to Europa League qualification last season, but now they are 15th. Their manager is also Scottish. This inexperienced North British Scotchlander is under 50 years old and his only managerial experience was with Preston North End, whom he didn't even manage to lead into the Premier League. He has been employed by Everton for eight years now. What the hell do they think they're doing???
.
Aston Villa: what can we say about them? Sure, the current manager was only employed after the club's utterly disgraceful Europa League Play-Off Round elimination by Rapid Wien, but we all know it's never that simple. Clearly, this failure was caused by the very idea that football clubs need long-term managerial stability of the kind that we saw during Martin O'Neill's disastrous tenure at Villa. That kind of outdated bullshit only makes players complacent. Why else do you think they've only won 4 games? The obvious solution is to let Mike step in and fire Houllier, replacing him with a real footballing giant.
.
The last option: Fulham. Fairly obvious, surely. Their misery already started under Hodgson last season, when they finished a paltry 12th and couldn't even win the bloody goddamn Europa League or whatever that shitty continental competition is called (we English are too good for that anyway; it's Champions League or nothing for us). This club is another victim of that "stability" nonsense, so they're lucky Hodgson buggered off to Liverpool. What needs to happen now is for Mike to intervene and sack Hughes immediately. He was sacked by Manchester City (another club with quality leadership who understand and implement the Ashleyist philosophy of football) last season, so he's got to be rubbish. Off with his head!
Take your picks!
Dear comrades,
As we all know, it is only a matter of time for Newcastle United, a legit Big Club, to win the Premiership. However, as everyone also knows, Mike Ashley is a true philanthropist. I am willing to bet that this man, God bless him, will be looking for another Premier League club to clean from crappy, inexperienced managers and other scum.
A quick look at the Premier League table reveals to us four clubs on the bottom half who are in dire need of of reorganisation. Four sides that could (and should) be in a position for European qualification, or at least have the potential ability to win the FA Cup and finish in the top half. These clubs are:
Birmingham City: finished 9th last season, after winning promotion the season before that; this season, they languish in 14th place. Due to the weak-kneed chairmen of Motherwell, Hibernian, Rangers and the Scottish FA, their current manager has only managed a total of four sides before. Clearly, the club need an individual with more managerial experience to take the club forward. Considering that Ashley has extremely recent experience with this exact situation, it only makes sense to let him sort things out.
.
Everton: another club who came close to Europa League qualification last season, but now they are 15th. Their manager is also Scottish. This inexperienced North British Scotchlander is under 50 years old and his only managerial experience was with Preston North End, whom he didn't even manage to lead into the Premier League. He has been employed by Everton for eight years now. What the hell do they think they're doing???
.
Aston Villa: what can we say about them? Sure, the current manager was only employed after the club's utterly disgraceful Europa League Play-Off Round elimination by Rapid Wien, but we all know it's never that simple. Clearly, this failure was caused by the very idea that football clubs need long-term managerial stability of the kind that we saw during Martin O'Neill's disastrous tenure at Villa. That kind of outdated bullshit only makes players complacent. Why else do you think they've only won 4 games? The obvious solution is to let Mike step in and fire Houllier, replacing him with a real footballing giant.
.
The last option: Fulham. Fairly obvious, surely. Their misery already started under Hodgson last season, when they finished a paltry 12th and couldn't even win the bloody goddamn Europa League or whatever that shitty continental competition is called (we English are too good for that anyway; it's Champions League or nothing for us). This club is another victim of that "stability" nonsense, so they're lucky Hodgson buggered off to Liverpool. What needs to happen now is for Mike to intervene and sack Hughes immediately. He was sacked by Manchester City (another club with quality leadership who understand and implement the Ashleyist philosophy of football) last season, so he's got to be rubbish. Off with his head!
Take your picks!