Pour Your Heart Out Thread III

[Il Medico]

The last one is a bit more than 500 post....

So post how miserable you are here.

[Os Cangaceiros]

I'm so alone, no one understands me, girls don't like me cuz I'm a communist, etc. etc. etc.

[Il Medico]

I'm so alone, no one understands me, girls don't like me cuz I'm a communist, etc. etc. etc.
Thats good, but maybe a bit more whiny....:lol:

[Il Medico]

*ahem* admins...mods....rules.....

[Thirsty Crow]

My momma told me I'm an evil nutjob commie and I told her that I'd put her in a gulag and now I feel like I'm genetically and spiritually transforming into Stalin :crying::crying::crying::crying::crying::crying::c rying::crying:

[Widerstand]

I told her that I'd put her in a gulag

Is it mean to laugh about this? :S

[Widerstand]

*ahem* admins...mods....rules.....

ANARKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ! :lol::tt2:

[Thirsty Crow]

Is it mean to laugh about this? :S
No, I was being dead serious...


not.

It's just an extrapolation of an extreme version of me arguing the extreme version of my mom.

Meh, forget it.

[gorillafuck]

Lt0WP9ZBNiY

[NoOneIsIllegal]

^ Heard those guys make total destroy

[Quail]

I'm so alone, no one understands me, girls don't like me cuz I'm a communist, etc. etc. etc.
You're a "nice guy" right?

[NoOneIsIllegal]

Nice guys don't finish later, commies do.

[Ele'ill]

This thread is off to a tremendous start

[Bright Banana Beard]

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow! It's a special day!

[Widerstand]

HEY GUYS

HEY GUYS

Today I shouted gay songs O/

[Aloysius]

A friend of mine might be pregnant.
She's 15.
I am afraid.

[Widerstand]

Afraid you could be the dad?

Sorry if I misunderstand your post :S

[Aloysius]

No, I'm not ready to be a dad.
I'm just afraid for her. Her home life is shit enough already.

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

I'm starting to think I'm never going to grasp leftist politics. Every time I think I understand it...BOOM! someone says something and all my work of studying doesn't make sense anymore.

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

I also think I'm going to quit drinking until the summer. I'm not always an angry drunk but when I am i turn pretty violent.

Not to mention I'm not even suppose to be drinking anyway due to an assault charge I don't remember doing.

[gorillafuck]

^ Heard those guys make total destroy
They are true punx.

Lately I've just been wicked pissed off and bored all the time. It really sucks/is wicked punk rawk.

[Thirsty Crow]

I fuckin' despise wishy-washy wannabe radicals who dare to preach about responsibility and reason, about the most peaceful methods and possible laws, about being goddamn moderate and smart :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Go fuck yourself (if anyone recognizes himself/herself in this description) and die.

[RedSonRising]

She hates you. When you try to make a move she just goes like: "WTF r u doin'?!" And then you can never ever regain your face amongst your friends anymore.

It's just how it is.


Oh man I almost hate you for saying this. The "WTF r u doin?!" moment. I hate when girls are oblivious to your intentions. It makes the rejection make you feel that much more foolish.

Oh well, Ill just entice her with some Colombian aguardiente when we watch a movie at my place and hope she gets just tipsy enough to engage in playful behavior. Then I'll go for the kill and get that kiss. :blink::thumbup1::confused::blushing:;)

[RedSonRising]

I'm starting to think I'm never going to grasp leftist politics. Every time I think I understand it...BOOM! someone says something and all my work of studying doesn't make sense anymore.


Where do these BOOM!s come from? All you need to remember is this; as long as there is a ruling class which own the productive materials on which we all depend that has a State to protect itself, freedom ain't thurr. I'm sure after you spend enough time engaging in it you'll have a smoother time studying. We all come to face those odd contradictions- but you'll find value in them soon enough. They lead to more educated refinement of your approach.


And yea man cut the drinking if it's doing you no good. Try finding something else to do in the time you drink that's more fulfilling. Sounds generic but if you try and think of something it might not be too difficult.

[Ele'ill]

I'm gonna quit drinking here within the week.

[Widerstand]

I fuckin' despise wishy-washy wannabe radicals who dare to preach about responsibility and reason, about the most peaceful methods and possible laws, about being goddamn moderate and smart :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Go fuck yourself (if anyone recognizes himself/herself in this description) and die.

I support peaceful pig slapping.

[Lyev]

Oh man I almost hate you for saying this. The "WTF r u doin?!" moment. I hate when girls are oblivious to your intentions. It makes the rejection make you feel that much more foolish.

Oh well, Ill just entice her with some Colombian aguardiente when we watch a movie at my place and hope she gets just tipsy enough to engage in playful behavior. Then I'll go for the kill and get that kiss. :blink::thumbup1::confused::blushing:;)Hopefully she'll get tipsy enough?? yeah, go get 'em tiger!

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

I'd like to start over.

[#FF0000]

Two weeks til my house is foreclosed on.

[Il Medico]

Two weeks til my house is foreclosed on.
Sucks man. You find another place yet?

[#FF0000]

Nope. I'm hoping my new job pays me soon or my college sends me my financial aid refund so I can do something about it.

[NecroCommie]

Oh man I almost hate you for saying this. The "WTF r u doin?!" moment. I hate when girls are oblivious to your intentions. It makes the rejection make you feel that much more foolish.

Reminds me of something that happened to me one time. I was getting it on (:rolleyes:) when my target used those exact words.
-WTF r u doin'?!
Necro: :mellow: Yees... What am I doing?

It was awesome how I myself wasn't exactly sure anymore. It's a god thing I can laugh at it nowadays.

[NoOneIsIllegal]

Two weeks til my house is foreclosed on.
I feel you on that, man. I had to deal with this earlier in the year. I grew up in that house for the last 18 years :(

[Ele'ill]

I was on the road before I had to see that type of thing happen- my mother lost the house of my childhood - the one with the bedroom that was entirely green- that had a tree outside that grew with me for 13 years which made every book I read feel a bit more real- the memories I have from all seasons at every stage of my life up until I was about sixteen- because she was addicted to alcohol and prescription medication.

She met my first love from the top of the stairs at 3 in the afternoon - She had an eye mask for sleeping that was just barely pulled back enough to see the beginning of her eyes Her bed robe was just hanging open revealing her breasts and vagina. She said hi and stood there for a moment swaying back and forth before heading back into her bedroom to drink.

Shortly after she lost her job and benefits she had a nervous breakdown - likely the second or third untreated clinical.



There was some shit that happened which I don't feel like getting into but I didn't talk to her for many many many years.



The good news is that we talk now and she's much better than she was. She helps me out more than she knows and has probably redeemed herself in the eyes of any judging god that could possibly exist.

I'm left with this burden of a question- where the fuck was I? I was a very exciting youth and by exciting I mean troubled. I wish I could have been as brave then as I am now. I realize now that I was more fucked up than she ever will be and I mean nothing positive about that.

Things get better before they get worse but at least I still have my smile. ;)

[Quail]

I honestly have no idea why anyone would ever want to be with me. There are a list of reasons as long as my arm why I would be unattractive/undesirable and I don't get why anyone would see past that.

[Jazzratt]

I honestly have no idea why anyone would ever want to be with me. There are a list of reasons as long as my arm why I would be unattractive/undesirable and I don't get why anyone would see past that. It might be because half that list is bollocks and the other half is outweighed by your positive qualities. Either that or you just attract total weirdos that you should be totally avoiding.

[Il Medico]

I honestly have no idea why anyone would ever want to be with me. There are a list of reasons as long as my arm why I would be unattractive/undesirable and I don't get why anyone would see past that.
I know a lot of people that think like this as well. I guess people tend to focus on their bad qualities and ignore the good. People that love them do the opposite. Don't worry about it.

[Quail]

I sounded so whiny posting that. I'm just having a curl-up-in-a-corner kind of day.

[NecroCommie]

I'm just having a curl-up-in-a-corner kind of day.
Listen to Behemoth, watch episodes of Dragonball Z with Vegeta in them. Quaranteed and tested method.

[Quail]

Listen to Behemoth, watch episodes of Dragonball Z with Vegeta in them. Quaranteed and tested method.
Sounds like a plan haha. Although I've been watching Dragonball lately (the series before Dragonball Z).

Oh dear I'm such a geek.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I honestly have no idea why anyone would ever want to be with me. There are a list of reasons as long as my arm why I would be unattractive/undesirable and I don't get why anyone would see past that.
You are awesome. I wish I could give you a hug and a kiss an tell you that you deserve the best. Of course I say this in a non sexual way since I'm kind of caught up with my fiance, but you are kool as fuck and deserved to be loved and respected.

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

I have yet to see a forum that acts more like a family than this one.

[Ele'ill]

4chan

[gorillafuck]

I honestly have no idea why anyone would ever want to be with me. There are a list of reasons as long as my arm why I would be unattractive/undesirable and I don't get why anyone would see past that.
Self hatred is a miserable thing to get caught up in. The reason people can see past that stuff and you can't is probably because you're just viewing the undesirable aspects of yourself and inflating them.

[Il Medico]

I'll be unemployed in 30 days.

[Jazzratt]

I'll be unemployed in 30 days. Unemployment is great fun. It's like being on holiday except you've got no money and your self worth is eroded slowly by the day. No aspect of it makes you want to suck on a shotgun at all, I can guarantee.

[¿Que?]

Fuck this shit. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm really agitated right now. Very annoyed.

[Ele'ill]

About what?

[Quail]

I have yet to see a forum that acts more like a family than this one.
Yeah, thank you all for your support :)
Even though I don't really deserve it.

[Weezer]

La douleur exquise.

[¿Que?]

About what?
What is anyone ever really upset about...not getting any!

But I'm over it....

[Widerstand]

:/

life is lonely.

[¿Que?]

:/

life is lonely.
Well, I'm surrounded by friends and loved ones, just , you know, noone to offer my services as a biological male to. So, I guess it's not really loneliness. It's sort of like when I used to go home to S. America, and the food was so great, but then I had to leave and I'd always just sort of count the days (which usually turned to years) until I got to eat that awesome food again (sure, there's imitations here in the States, but nothing like the real deal, right?).

Now, it's like, I don't envision going back to S. America ever again in my life. I just don't see any possibilities. I'll never ever again have ñoquis con tuco, or milanesas a la napolitana, churrasco con chimichurri etc.

[Widerstand]

Well, I'm surrounded by friends and loved ones, just , you know, noone to offer my services as a biological male to. So, I guess it's not really loneliness. It's sort of like when I used to go home to S. America, and the food was so great, but then I had to leave and I'd always just sort of count the days (which usually turned to years) until I got to eat that awesome food again (sure, there's imitations here in the States, but nothing like the real deal, right?).

Well, be happy :p the only humans I interact with are one friend I go drinking with from time to time and the people with which I work on political projects (interestingly enough there are way too many to keep track of, yet all of them are rather faint acquaintances).

[¿Que?]

Well, be happy :p the only humans I interact with are one friend I go drinking with from time to time and the people with which I work on political projects (interestingly enough there are way too many to keep track of, yet all of them are rather faint acquaintances).
Yeah, that's cool. I'm sort of the same. I know a bunch of people, just not really well. I mean, I know enough pretty women to make having a love life a statistical probability, but I know myself too well to reify a generalization like that...I know what they think of me.

[Widerstand]

:/ Today some girl I completely had no fucking idea of who might be told me she had forgotten my name and asked me what it was. In my bewilderment I told her. She told her my name. I was rather bewildered as to who this person might be, so I went all "huh okay." She then followed with some question so I remembered what project group she might be from. We had a very short chat and then she and her friend left. I think I've never omitted a more appalling "who the fuck are you/gtfo/I don't wanna talk to you" image ever before. I'm still sad, she was pretty nice and rather good looking :/

[¿Que?]

I think I've never omitted a more appalling "who the fuck are you/gtfo/I don't wanna talk to you" image ever before. I'm still sad, she was pretty nice and rather good looking :/
If you mean emitted, I think I totally get you. I'm the same way. Initially I'm very distrustful of people, even and especially really good looking women.

However, I'm probably a few years older than you, which makes my situation a bit more dire. You still have time to learn the social skills and develop an emotional repertoire to handle yourself better, next time a similar situation arises.

Changing my behavior at this point in my life would probably involve some serious destabilizing emotional roller coaster shit, and frankly I can't afford it.

[Widerstand]

If you mean emitted, I think I totally get you. I'm the same way. Initially I'm very distrustful of people, even and especially really good looking women.

However, I'm probably a few years older than you, which makes my situation a bit more dire. You still have time to learn the social skills and develop an emotional repertoire to handle yourself better, next time a similar situation arises.

Changing my behavior at this point in my life would probably involve some serious destabilizing emotional roller coaster shit, and frankly I can't afford it.

Yeah huh, I mean emitted of course. However it's not something that'll likely go away...I'm like that on a constant basis, especially when I deal with people I don't know very well. I've been told by a couple of ppl they were scared to talk to me at first. Meh. I feel the lack of social interactions and contacts, especially of friendships, is really adding to it :/

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

To quote Henry Rollins, "It's obvious a guy like me is gonna live alone for the rest of his life." I'm a skinny over aggressive drunk. I like tattoos other people think are ugly and have terrible hygiene, except for my hair which i was every second day. I'm socially awkward, extremely unfunny and cannot tell a story to save my life, even though I have stories that would put fishermen to shame. I come off as too needy and a jerk or pansy. In my city of 12,000 people I'm known as a drug addict even though i rarely use drugs anymore. I'm poor and not good at anything except for playing bass and hurting myself. I'm a wierdo and a "popular" loser. I can't even listen to some of my favorite songs anymore because they remind me of one time i made a fool of myself. If i don't become a chef when I graduate highschool my only other move is to become a burger flipper or cashier. my arms are full of scars from self mutilation when i had a bout of depression 2 or 3 years ago which temps me to wear long sleeve shirts in the winter time. I swear if it wasn't for punk rock i would have...i don't know. I feel somewhat of an elitist even though i don't try to. No matter how much lift weights i never seem to gain any muscle. I have court in 3 weeks for assault and i have a feeling i might be going to juvy. I dont know what to do with myself. I've tried everything i can for depression 'cept for anti depressants and none of it works.

Well, this was my opiate rant for the night. Happy camping.

[gorillafuck]

I think I tell alright stories but that's because my life has some wicked funny shit happen in it, to me and to the people around me. I might be wrong though. I also get the impression I'm funny since people laugh a lot at the weird shit I say but I also might be wrong there, it's hard to tell.

I'd take antidepressants if I were you. I've said before in this thread that a friend of mine who self mutilated and was depressed started taking them and she's much better now emotionally (according to her).

[Il Medico]

I think I tell alright stories but that's because my life has some wicked funny shit happen in it, to me and to the people around me. I might be wrong though. I also get the impression I'm funny since people laugh a lot at the weird shit I say but I also might be wrong there, it's hard to tell.
Similar for me. But people tell me quite often that my jokes, quips and stories are hilarious, so it isn't really in doubt on my part.

[L.A.P.]

Oh man I almost hate you for saying this. The "WTF r u doin?!" moment. I hate when girls are oblivious to your intentions. It makes the rejection make you feel that much more foolish.

Oh well, Ill just entice her with some Colombian aguardiente when we watch a movie at my place and hope she gets just tipsy enough to engage in playful behavior. Then I'll go for the kill and get that kiss. :blink::thumbup1::confused::blushing:;)

Speaking of getting fucked over, this girl has been after me for a year and she finally broke me down and I proclaimed "I give up, you win" (I didn't literally say that) so I was very excited to have her as a girlfriend. However, she finally comes to my house, breaks up with me, smokes weed with my sister and two other guys. When everyone I knew enticed me that I should giver her a chance I kept on saying "She's probably the type that will screw me over just like every other girl I liked in my life, I can just tell" and unfortunately I was right. This is the fourth time I have been utterly fucked over by a girl who I have almost gone out with or have gone out with and I have only gone out with four girls so I must be on a roll.

[Ele'ill]

Am I going off the deep end- I'm sitting here searching on youtube for home videos- of families spending time together during snow storms and on christmas eve and such.

[¿Que?]

Am I going off the deep end- I'm sitting here searching on youtube for home videos- of families spending time together during snow storms and on christmas eve and such.
You're such a sentimentalist.

[¿Que?]

Speaking of getting fucked over, this girl has been after me for a year and she finally broke me down and I proclaimed "I give up, you win" (I didn't literally say that) so I was very excited to have her as a girlfriend. However, she finally comes to my house, breaks up with me, smokes weed with my sister and two other guys. When everyone I knew enticed me that I should giver her a chance I kept on saying "She's probably the type that will screw me over just like every other girl I liked in my life, I can just tell" and unfortunately I was right. This is the fourth time I have been utterly fucked over by a girl who I have almost gone out with or have gone out with and I have only gone out with four girls so I must be on a roll.
Don't be so uptight. That's where I failed with women. If you love somebody, set them free.

On a side note, a friend of mine just recently got really screwed over by his girlfriend. He's like some really naive young working class kid (about 20 years old), and she's at least 10 years older. Oh yeah, he's also skinny and probably not very strong. Anyway, she beat the shit out of him with a frying pan. He showed up at my place bleeding and shit and trying to evade the cops because he hit her back. So yeah, he's sort of getting screwed over pretty bad. Then again, he's a bit of an egoist and chauvinist. He's also a bit condescending himself, so it's hard to get a sense of the power dynamics at play, especially since I've never met his girlfriend.

[Ele'ill]

87q5dmW6zDg

from better times :bored:

[Widerstand]

Loneliness really takes it's toll when even online friends are too busy to talk to you and when psychological pressure about being a virgin and all-time single builds up.

meh.

:/

[Pavlov's House Party]

Similar for me. But people tell me quite often that my jokes, quips and stories are hilarious, so it isn't really in doubt on my part.

it mostly depends on the people i'm around for stuff like that. for example; my friends find most of my musings entertaining, but i've had really awkward situations at work when trying to crack a joke, and then having to explain that it was a joke to my co-workers. that straight face people give you when they're not sure if you're joking around or being serious is just the worst :/

[RedSonRising]

Don't be so uptight. That's where I failed with women. If you love somebody, set them free.

On a side note, a friend of mine just recently got really screwed over by his girlfriend. He's like some really naive young working class kid (about 20 years old), and she's at least 10 years older. Oh yeah, he's also skinny and probably not very strong. Anyway, she beat the shit out of him with a frying pan. He showed up at my place bleeding and shit and trying to evade the cops because he hit her back. So yeah, he's sort of getting screwed over pretty bad. Then again, he's a bit of an egoist and chauvinist. He's also a bit condescending himself, so it's hard to get a sense of the power dynamics at play, especially since I've never met his girlfriend.

Wow, that's fucked up. Really strange gender-role analysis to be had there, be interesting if you met his girlfriend. Abuse of a romantic partner from the part of the female to a male is intriguing, and can be quite sad. Regardless though I hope things turn alright with him and he doesn't end up in a messy lawsuit for defending himself.



In other news, getting the girl tipsy with me when watching a movie at my place in order to make a move isnt gonna pan out. I think I'll use this time to set up a proper date instead, but it will have to be something nice, good and unambiguous of intentions. NYC is a likely setting. Any suggestions?

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

After a recent slip up on my addiction that I tend to have the hardest battle with (opiates) I've decided to quit... ...again.
The withdraws are worse than ever, but I think it's because now I went to a different form. Not the perscription types like O.C.s or morphs but the street shit uncut. My fingernails have had lots of contact with my arms lately to say the least. I get shakes a lot.

I've also ran out of my spironolactone for a little while which sent my hormones out of wack and I ran out of my psych meds and I'm bipolar as fuck (I'm a rapid cycler).

I've been having flashbacks from the behavior modification program.

I've had serious nightmares lately too.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

What is anyone ever really upset about...not getting any! could be worse.


But I'm over it....
congratz for you:rolleyes::confused::thumbup1:

[Quail]

After a recent slip up on my addiction that I tend to have the hardest battle with (opiates) I've decided to quit... ...again.
The withdraws are worse than ever, but I think it's because now I went to a different form. Not the perscription types like O.C.s or morphs but the street shit uncut. My fingernails have had lots of contact with my arms lately to say the least. I get shakes a lot.
Ouch :( Good luck with getting through it. I completely understand the "quit... ...again" bit. Every time I get a bit better I think, "Wow, I'm never going to end up in that state again," and a few months later there I am, back in some awful self-destructive rut.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Ouch :( Good luck with getting through it. I completely understand the "quit... ...again" bit. Every time I get a bit better I think, "Wow, I'm never going to end up in that state again," and a few months later there I am, back in some awful self-destructive rut.
I hate to sound stereotypical as an anarchist saying this, but it's the totality.

If quitting was the only issue I'd be sitting pretty compared to how I am now.

Another nightmare and I've freaked out and pissed off my fiance.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Dam you The Cure, making me all nostalgic.

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

I got kicked out of my house last night. luckily my school has a breakfast program and showers.

[Aloysius]

My girlfriend is pregnant, and it's not my child.

:(

[NecroCommie]

Damn you two! Now my problems seem so worthless and I have no excuse to complain. Yet here I go: I can't get a thing done! Two weeks worth of school-work awaits my arbeit, my entire wardrobe needs washing, and so does my entire collection of tablewear.

John: Hang tight. I once spent two entire days without a house. 'gasp'! Although, granted, I knew that I was going to get one after those two days.
Mourning: ... just... Mourn? Really, that even depresses me if the knowledge makes you feel any better.

[Aurora]

Derealization again, 2 weeks without it was nice, still not sure why i have it intermittently although its no coincidence that i stayed up much later than usual last night feeling particularly numb and had my first drink by myself in along time. Maybe its christmas coming up thats making it happen, i dislike christmas.. should probably attempt to keep up appearances.. don't really care though.

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

My girlfriend is pregnant, and it's not my child.

:(

aren't you 15?

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

I got lucky my buddy's gonna let me crash on his couch for a few days.

[Quail]

My girlfriend is pregnant, and it's not my child.

:(
Wow. That's bad. If you want to rant, feel free to PM me.

[gorillafuck]

My girlfriend is pregnant, and it's not my child.

:(
Was she impregnated before you were with her or when you were with her?

[Quail]

I think my views about myself conflict with my feminism; I insist that 'm a fat whore who deserved to be assaulted, but I would never say that about someone else in a million years.

[Aloysius]

Was she impregnated before you were with her or when you were with her?
Before

aren't you 15?
Somewhere around that, why?

We've been together for 2 days and I'm already unhappy.
Fuck...

[Quail]

Lol, I'm a fat whore who deserves to be assaulted. This contradicts my feminism but I can't help it :(

[Aurora]

I know its easy to fall into that way of thinking, but its a pretty clear sign that your not well, is there someone you can be around and talk to tonight?

[Quail]

I am around my ex, and I feel like I don't have enough of a problem to get help for my bulimia. It might be my lackof meds lately though. I want to slit my wrists in the bath :\

[Aurora]

I am around my ex, and I feel like I don't have enough of a problem to get help for my bulimia. It might be my lackof meds lately though. I want to slit my wrists in the bath :\

If your having suicide ideations then you do have a problem, i don't want you to feel bad about it but you do need help, i know its really difecult to deal with ive been there trust me, but people do recover and it makes a world of diference to talk to someone about any problem you may have.

08457 90 90 90 please do call if your really feeling bad and if you cant call then at least talk to your ex about things, if thats too difficult im here for you please pm me anytime :)

[Bright Banana Beard]

Please kayl, talk to somebody you trust about this, it is never easy because of the pain.

One thing I have you remind you is that pain will not care about you, nor they won't care if you not a fat whore. Please talk to somebody!

Look at me, I have no friend in this area and I wish I can make friends with others, but I have anxiety over my disability (which is: Moderate Hard of Hearing, OCD, and Bipolar.) I been betrayed so many time that I don't even count anymore, but I keep my head up.

So please, talk to anybody you can trust.

[Quail]

You have more issues than me. I don't need help. Really. I'm doing CBT for bulimia, but I eat so much that I don't deserve to be called bulimic :\

[Jazzratt]

I don't need help. I think those who know you and those around you beg to differ. Certainly I think you both need and deserve all the help you can get.

Really. I'm doing CBT for bulimia, but I eat so much that I don't deserve to be called bulimic :\ I'm fairly sure your other attitudes and behaviours are highly consistent with bulimia. Again, you need this help I think.

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

Somewhere around that, why?

because at that age id be celebrating in the street if my girlfriend got pregnant and it wasn't mine, well, as long as it was from before we got together.

Is she gonna keep it?

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

because at that age id be celebrating in the street if my girlfriend got pregnant and it wasn't mine, well, as long as it was from before we got together.

Is she gonna keep it?

Don't be a dickhead.

[gorillafuck]

I don't need help.
Yeah you do.

[Blackscare]

Mourning, it's hard not to sound like a chauvinist/dickhead, whatever, regarding this subject, but I'm just going to lay something out for you here.


This is NOT your responsibility. It isn't. You are 15, this girl presumably is the same. This is a matter for her to take care of, or her family, don't feel obligated to do anything stupid with your own life because you dated her for 2 days.

I've seen similar, if not as blatant, things happen before. I doubt that she was intentionally trying to rope you into a relationship before telling you she was pregnant, since it was only two days, but still be weary of assuming responsibility that isn't yours.


Now, as harsh as it sounds to say that you should just walk away from this, that's what I think you should do. Because you are 15 years old and are of no real use. I doubt that an intense emotional bond is formed yet, and the last thing that your girlfriend will need in the long-mid term is to have to balance the emotional strain of what to do about this and also entertain a relationship with an entirely unrelated party.


These are just the words of blackscare, make of them what you will, except for when what you make of them would cause me to get restricted.

[Quail]

I agree with you Blackscare.

Also, sorry for being a silly depressive drunk. I'll be fine.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I have taken a vow not to harm myself. This will be difficult. No self inflicted harm. I wonder if I can get around it by having someone cut me for me, that way it won't be self inflicted.

[Widerstand]

I have taken a vow not to harm myself. This will be difficult. No self inflicted harm. I wonder if I can get around it by having someone cut me for me, that way it won't be self inflicted.

Is it that compulsive?

[Blackscare]

I have taken a vow not to harm myself. This will be difficult. No self inflicted harm. I wonder if I can get around it by having someone cut me for me, that way it won't be self inflicted.


Then don't even bother with the vow.

[Il Medico]

You lot are horribly depressing.

Also, Esperanza, good luck, quitting can be hard.

[Quail]

I have taken a vow not to harm myself. This will be difficult. No self inflicted harm. I wonder if I can get around it by having someone cut me for me, that way it won't be self inflicted.
No harm as in to what extent? Try being nice to yourself. Have a bath with a pretty smelling bath bomb or paint your nails. You deserve to be nice to yourself.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

No harm as in to what extent? Try being nice to yourself. Have a bath with a pretty smelling bath bomb or paint your nails. You deserve to be nice to yourself.
That sounds like a new concept for me. The only time that pain was out of the picture was while I was on opiates. I am of two conflicting addictions, if I'm not numb, that's when I want more and more physical pain and can't stop. I have a long and serious history of cutting, but I feel like a dumb ***** for taking that vow but I have to keep my word.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

That sounds like a new concept for me. The only time that pain was out of the picture was while I was on opiates. I am of two conflicting addictions, if I'm not numb, that's when I want more and more physical pain and can't stop. I have a long and serious history of cutting, but I feel like a dumb ***** for taking that vow but I have to keep my word.
Everytime I read your posts I just want to give you a hug.

[Quail]

That sounds like a new concept for me. The only time that pain was out of the picture was while I was on opiates. I am of two conflicting addictions, if I'm not numb, that's when I want more and more physical pain and can't stop. I have a long and serious history of cutting, but I feel like a dumb ***** for taking that vow but I have to keep my word.
Do try and keep your word. I always regret cutting. Every time I do it it's the "last" time. My arms are such a mess I can't wear short sleeves anymore. But seriously, giving yourself a nice treat that doesn't involve food can be really helpful and make you feel better.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Do try and keep your word. I always regret cutting. Every time I do it it's the "last" time. My arms are such a mess I can't wear short sleeves anymore. But seriously, giving yourself a nice treat that doesn't involve food can be really helpful and make you feel better.
Yeah, another thing is I made a mistake I haven't made in a while last night. I stepped on a scale. Right now I can't go out in short sleeves anyhow as this is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. You may be from England, but ask anyone from this region of the United States why going outside in short sleeves around here is a bad idea right now, they will probably tell you why. Winter in Milwaukee, Wisconsin is no joke, but then again, in the height of winter once I went outside in literally nothing but a leather biker jacket and had a cigarette in the middle of the night after the temp dropped. Winter has begun.

[Quail]

Yeah, another thing is I made a mistake I haven't made in a while last night. I stepped on a scale. Right now I can't go out in short sleeves anyhow as this is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. You may be from England, but ask anyone from this region of the United States why going outside in short sleeves around here is a bad idea right now, they will probably tell you why. Winter in Milwaukee, Wisconsin is no joke, but then again, in the height of winter once I went outside in literally nothing but a leather biker jacket and had a cigarette in the middle of the night after the temp dropped. Winter has begun.
I wouldnt go out in short sleeves right now here either. We have like a foot of snow (a lot for the UK)!
The scale is not your friend. I weigh myself several times a day and the number is never low enough. Trust me though, that other people see you as much more than the number on the scale. You should let yourself be more than that number (hypocrite that I am for saying this ha). You are more than that number.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I wouldnt go out in short sleeves right now here either. We have like a foot of snow (a lot for the UK)!
The scale is not your friend. I weigh myself several times a day and the number is never low enough. Trust me though, that other people see you as much more than the number on the scale. You should let yourself be more than that number (hypocrite that I am for saying this ha). You are more than that number.
Well I've decided to pick hot sauce as literally the majority of my diet.

[Quail]

Well I've decided to pick hot sauce as literally the majority of my diet.
Try and have something more than that. Something safe like fruit and veg or whatever. Eat things that nourish you, but don't feel scary. Your body needs it :)

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Try and have something more than that. Something safe like fruit and veg or whatever. Eat things that nourish you, but don't feel scary. Your body needs it :)
Well I feel like the hot sauce is a cleanser of everything right out of my pours. Sometimes I have veggies with my hot sauce. I think of that as out with the old in with the new.

also: hot sauce teaches me not to purge (orally)

[Quail]

Well I feel like the hot sauce is a cleanser of everything right out of my pours. Sometimes I have veggies with my hot sauce. I think of that as out with the old in with the new.
Fair enough. I eat fruit or veg on its own when I feel like I can't eat anything else. Bland food feels safer to me for some reason. Just don't get into "purging" behaviour, which is my main issue at the moment.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Fair enough. I eat fruit or veg on its own when I feel like I can't eat anything else. Bland food feels safer to me for some reason. Just don't get into "purging" behaviour, which is my main issue at the moment.
The more pica the more I'll teach myself a lesson if I do that.

[Quail]

Please don't eat anything that isn't meant to be food. It can be really dangerous and if you're craving it, it's probably because of nutritional inbalances.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Please don't eat anything that isn't meant to be food. It can be really dangerous and if you're craving it, it's probably because of nutritional inbalances.
If my mouth is on fire going down...
I could go on a raw chipotle pepper diet...
... hmmmm...

[Quail]

If my mouth is on fire going down...
I could go on a raw chipotle pepper diet...
... hmmmm...
You should really try and get something more than that. Perhaps chickpeas or soy beans? Whenever I fast or start a really restrictive diet I end up binging, which makes me feel worse. Try and eat a little of what you crave every day, wihtout purging or spitting it out.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

I hope your alright Esperanza, Kayl has lots of good advice.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

You should really try and get something more than that. Perhaps chickpeas or soy beans? Whenever I fast or start a really restrictive diet I end up binging, which makes me feel worse. Try and eat a little of what you crave every day, wihtout purging or spitting it out.
Binging does have that result for me too.

But having two types of dysphoria puts me in a worse spot then one alone. I have GID and insecurities about weight. Result: hormones maybe responsible for weight gain which causes one problem, but to not take those causes issues with my GID.

[Quail]

Binging does have that result for me too.

But having two types of dysphoria puts me in a worse spot then one alone. I have GID and insecurities about weight. Result: hormones maybe responsible for weight gain which causes one problem, but to not take those causes issues with my GID.
I suppose that complicates things a little. Hormones can definitely make you crave "bad" food (PMT, anyone?) but if you're aware that the reason you're craving things is the hormones, you can try and sit through them. Your hormones are important, and that should be prioritised over your worries about food. You could also try eating things that are filling but low calorie, such as salad, tofu, cucumber, apples, etc.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I suppose that complicates things a little. Hormones can definitely make you crave "bad" food (PMT, anyone?) but if you're aware that the reason you're craving things is the hormones, you can try and sit through them. Your hormones are important, and that should be prioritised over your worries about food. You could also try eating things that are filling but low calorie, such as salad, tofu, cucumber, apples, etc.
I like celery...

Stuck between one demon and a different but conflicting demon. Story of my life.

Same with opiates and cutting. The only thing I have going for me is I hate uppers and won't touch them let alone get hooked. I hate anything that gives me excess energy.

[Quail]

I like celery...

Stuck between one demon and a different but conflicting demon. Story of my life.

Same with opiates and cutting. The only thing I have going for me is I hate uppers and won't touch them let alone get hooked. I hate anything that gives me excess energy.
I completely understand. Alcoholism or anorexia? They conflict, but obviously I'm still suffering from both.
Still, you should really try to take care of yourself, even if you don't feel as though you deserve it. One of my therapists said I should "fake it 'til I make it" which can help sometimes. Although I never made it, nights in with a lovely bath and painting my nails really made me feel as though I should care about myself more, even if that thought didn't last long. I'm kind of rambling now but I reckon you get my point!

[Burn A Flag]

I just want to say I love you all... And Esperanza even if you had weight difficulties that is no reason to starve yourself or purge. There is nothing really terrible about being a bit overweight. It's not great, but there are worse things and you should just accept yourself and others will be more accepting too.

[Quail]

I just want to say I love you all... And Esperanza even if you had weight difficulties that is no reason to starve yourself or purge. There is nothing really terrible about being a bit overweight. It's not great, but there are worse things and you should just accept yourself and others will be more accepting too.
There shouldn't be anything bad about being overweight but some people see themselves as overweight no matter what the scale says and feel the need to starve.

[Burn A Flag]

I know it's a psychological thing but anyway I love you and support you!

[Quail]

I know it's a psychological thing but anyway I love you and support you!
Thank you.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

There shouldn't be anything bad about being overweight but some people see themselves as overweight no matter what the scale says and feel the need to starve.
Since I stepped on that scale last night, I've also been trying to convince myself that why I'm even farther from my target weight is all in my hips, ass and boobs as the last time I let myself see my weight before last night, I had not started hormones yet. I'm still finding it difficult to reason with myself.


I completely understand. Alcoholism or anorexia? They conflict, but obviously I'm still suffering from both.
Still, you should really try to take care of yourself, even if you don't feel as though you deserve it. One of my therapists said I should "fake it 'til I make it" which can help sometimes. Although I never made it, nights in with a lovely bath and painting my nails really made me feel as though I should care about myself more, even if that thought didn't last long. I'm kind of rambling now but I reckon you get my point!
I know you understand. The fact that you understand more of me than lots of people is why talking to you is easy, I find you easy to relate to.


I just want to say I love you all... And Esperanza even if you had weight difficulties that is no reason to starve yourself or purge. There is nothing really terrible about being a bit overweight. It's not great, but there are worse things and you should just accept yourself and others will be more accepting too.
I appreciate that you mean well and that you care. The fact is I tend to not be rational and I know it but can't do anything about it.

[Quail]

Since I stepped on that scale last night, I've also been trying to convince myself that why I'm even farther from my target weight is all in my hips, ass and boobs as the last time I let myself see my weight before last night, I had not started hormones yet. I'm still finding it difficult to reason with myself.


I know you understand. The fact that you understand more of me than lots of people is why talking to you is easy, I find you easy to relate to.

Women do have different ratios of fat to muscle than men, so I suppose you should expect to get a little bigger around the chest and hips. The weight that you're seeing is probably just your womanly curves. I'm sure that isn't much of a comfort because I personally hate mine. I'd rather my 32Bs and my hips would disappear, but unfortunately curves are part of being a woman. I can understand why you want to starve your figure away but trust me that nobody else wants you to do that. Other people think you look wonderful.

[Widerstand]

The fact is I tend to not be rational and I know it but can't do anything about it.

Eh, everyone's like that. I'm pretty much the same. I know X is bad and Y would be good, but there's just no way I'd ever do Y instead of X.

I luckily stopped cutting before it ever got close to becoming a habit, and I never had eating habits (though some of my friends suggest I undereat, and well...I guess I do :X).

[Quail]

Eh, everyone's like that. I'm pretty much the same. I know X is bad and Y would be good, but there's just no way I'd ever do Y instead of X.

I luckily stopped cutting before it ever got close to becoming a habit, and I never had eating habits (though some of my friends suggest I undereat, and well...I guess I do :X).
It can get so difficult. The fact that you know you're being irrational, but you still hold onto those thoughts. It is weird.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Women do have different ratios of fat to muscle than men, so I suppose you should expect to get a little bigger around the chest and hips. The weight that you're seeing is probably just your womanly curves. I'm sure that isn't much of a comfort because I personally hate mine. I'd rather my 32Bs and my hips would disappear, but unfortunately curves are part of being a woman. I can understand why you want to starve your figure away but trust me that nobody else wants you to do that. Other people think you look wonderful.
I think it's not that I don't want the hips, ass and boobs. I find myself really self conscious about the rest of my body. I know what I want to look like is the unrealistically perfect image fed to me through the media or whatever, but I guess I'm guilty of striving for the societal beauty standards that I should be condemning as a feminist yet I find myself becoming pulled into it any how.

[Widerstand]

I think it's not that I don't want the hips, ass and boobs. I find myself really self conscious about the rest of my body. I know what I want to look like is the unrealistically perfect image fed to me through the media or whatever, but I guess I'm guilty of striving for the societal beauty standards that I should be condemning as a feminist yet I find myself becoming pulled into it any how.

Do you rationalize this? I found that when I went through a similar phase I would often make up arguments why looking like this or that is so important for my life.

[Quail]

I think it's not that I don't want the hips, ass and boobs. I find myself really self conscious about the rest of my body. I know what I want to look like is the unrealistically perfect image fed to me through the media or whatever, but I guess I'm guilty of striving for the societal beauty standards that I should be condemning as a feminist yet I find myself becoming pulled into it any how.
Same lol. I know my standards of beauty are warped but I still strive for them. I don't really like my womanly features because I was assaulted, but I still strive for unobtainable images of "perfection" which clearly is unhealthy.

I've been doing some online CBT (this is how underfunded the NHS is!) and it advised meto write down lists of advantages and disadvatages of the eating stuff. My list of advantages was rubbish compared to the disadvantages. Perhaps that could help you realise what you're doing to yourself?

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Same lol. I know my standards of beauty are warped but I still strive for them. I don't really like my womanly features because I was assaulted, but I still strive for unobtainable images of "perfection" which clearly is unhealthy.
I too have been assaulted.


I've been doing some online CBT (this is how underfunded the NHS is!) and it advised meto write down lists of advantages and disadvatages of the eating stuff. My list of advantages was rubbish compared to the disadvantages. Perhaps that could help you realise what you're doing to yourself?
I'm going through DBT already, mostly for my PTSD from various traumas ranging from what the behavior modification industry did to me at that camp in Idaho to trauma from being raped.

[Quail]

I too have been assaulted.


I'm going through DBT already, mostly for my PTSD from various traumas ranging from what the behavior modification industry did to me at that camp in Idaho to trauma from being raped.
I think all I can really do now is give you a virtual hug. You do deserve better than this and one day, I hope you'll find it.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Do you rationalize this? I found that when I went through a similar phase I would often make up arguments why looking like this or that is so important for my life.
Unfortunately, this runs deeper for me since I was literally born into the wrong body, hence my GID. That is how I get hit harder by this than most.

[Quail]

Unfortunately, this runs deeper for me since I was literally born into the wrong body, hence my GID. That is how I get hit harder by this than most.
I honestly don't think that you should let female stereotypes run who you are. You're a woman who thinks for herself. I read women's magazines and often I'm disgusted by the way they reinforce gender stereotypes. I know this is probably much easier for me to say, but women don't have to adhere to these stereotypes and you definitely don't.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I honestly don't think that you should let female stereotypes run who you are. You're a woman who thinks for herself. I read women's magazines and often I'm disgusted by the way they reinforce gender stereotypes. I know this is probably much easier for me to say, but women don't have to adhere to these stereotypes and you definitely don't.
Well when I have grown up born into the wrong body, this makes me more vulnerable to want to fit the stereotypes. I've already have more reason for discontent with my body than most other women so my resistance is bound to already be weakened.

[Quail]

Well when I have grown up born into the wrong body, this makes me more vulnerable to want to fit the stereotypes. I've already have more reason for discontent with my body than most other women so my resistance is bound to already be weakened.
That's definitely true, but the stereotype of a "good" woman is ridiculously distorted. Although I've never met or seen you in person, I'm sure you're fucking beautiful. This is what should be important, not a fucking number on the scale. I know that you want to fit the womanly streotypes, but you don't have to fit those to be a woman. For example, I'm a woman but I wear oversized mens' clothes and act as though I'm not female, but I'm still a woman.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Would it be best if Kayl and Esperanza too this converasion somewhere more private?

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Would it be best if Kayl and Esperanza too this converasion somewhere more private?
Maybe

Kayl: feel free to PM me if you'd find that more comfortable

[Quail]

Sorry, I hope I didn't get into anything too private :\

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

I just thought i'd be better if you discussed things that can be personal/upsetting not on a public forum. Not that what either of you were saying was wrong. Just wanted you both to be comfortable.

[Bright Banana Beard]

I lovea you all, even I go through hell, I hate myself very much because I don't do somtthing to change myself, it soa fucking hard. But, I will always love you all... Please remember this. I know life isn't easy, and I ama crying as I type this.

[Ele'ill]

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/popeyes

Edit- it's basically the victory dance I do in real life

[Nuvem]

Every day I wake up feeling fresh and new, usually at about 5 AM. I put on my trench coat and I walk around the city, to the parks and by the river. I try my damnedest to contact friends to spend time with, but they're usually busy- most of them training for military service. My girlfriend works from 4 PM until midnight most days. I spend my days applying and applying and applying, but I can't get work. The unemployment rate in my city is worse than Detroit or Flint and I have no experience, no references, no skills or training that appeal to the employers. I apply and apply and I do interviews, but no one wants me. I can't stand up to the 30 year olds with experience and credentials who are applying for the same jobs. Offer me a position as a ditch digger, I'll take it!

Even if I found some demeaning service industry job, I know it wouldn't fulfill me. Flipping burgers or working a register won't satisfy my need for action- I need to feel like I'm really doing some good in the world. I want a career that makes use of my intellect, I want to teach. But in the end, I know even that is just biding time. I simply can't be satisfied with life living in a nation that abuses and attacks the poor the way mine does, nor can I be satisfied knowing that such a nation continues to exist unchecked. The sheer ignorance and complacence drives me mad and sometimes I just want to break down. We're misunderstood and hated. My family doesn't understand, I simply can't talk about anything that matters to me with them without causing a massive argument.

My reprieve comes when I can see my girlfriend and spend time with her, at home together. We really, truly understand one another. She's the only reason I find it in me to get out of bed in the morning. She's the reason I have a bed to get out of. Sometimes I wish I could simply love her and be happy with life, but that would be irresponsible. It's irresponsible to sit idly by knowing what happens in the world, the cruelty and the injustice, and simply be complacent.

I read about history and I can't help but feel that I was born in the wrong time. I feel I would be better off had I been born 70 or 80 years earlier than I was (1991, just over a month before the USSR ceased to exist). During the 20th century, there were places I could have gone where people may have understood and accepted my way of thinking, places where I could assist in revolution or counter the enemy. Perhaps I could have fought in Spain, or defected to East Germany. Was life perfect? No, far from it- but I would rather wait in line and deal with Soviet-style bureaucrats than know that nearly every monetary transaction I make is funding the abuse of foreign workers. Even in the face of revisionism, I could take comfort in attempting to push for Socialism in a country sympathetic to and understanding of the ideology, or even assisting in the revolutionary process in one not so sympathetic...anything but sit on my hands, unemployed, too poor for school, struggling to organize my fellow Leftists. But no, I was born on the eve of "the Capitalist victory", when the opposition, however revisionist it may have been, capitulated entirely and any sense of anti-Capitalism in the global political arena was forced to the corners and ignored. From then on, it was easy for the bourgeoisie to simply label all anti-Capitalist world leaders as brutal dictators and haters of the one true democracy, and the complacent masses simply nod their heads and eat what's fed to them.

By the end of the day, the feeling of rejuvenation is gone. When I am tired, I become depressed. I spend most nights thinking about how easy it would be to just give up. It would be so easy to just give up on life and end it. But that, too, is irresponsible, even unacceptable. I constantly scold myself for even entertaining the thought, because I know that I have a responsibility as a human being and as a Socialist to love humanity despite its flaws and to help my fellows as best I can. I need to be reminded every day that I am not alone in my thinking and that there are others who accept me. It eases the feelings of hopelessness, if only temporarily. I have no god, I use no drugs, I drink no alcohol- good company is my only opiate. While I despair at night when my eyes start to burn and my head becomes heavy, I know I will wake with a refreshing sense of newness; and I know that some day, perhaps some day soon, that feeling will become my dominant one.

I lack the capacity for apathy and death is not an option, so I press on.

[Aurora]

That was so sad and beautiful

[Aloysius]

As I am writing this, I am watching this tiny bug crawl across the monitor. I'm trying to deterimine wheter I should kill it, but then I think that it might be the food of some other creature and that creature may be the food of another, and so on.
The Christmas tree blinking ceaselessly next to me makes me want to burn this house down, but I know I can't, for everything I have is here, everything I am.
I am not happy. Not here, not now.
I want to flee, flee this town, this county, state and country, but I don't know where to go...
I don't want to feel like this. Melancholy. I've had a difficult week, and I'm not sure I want to see the next...
Don't worry about me. Not now. I haven't made that decision yet, but when I do you all will be the first to know.

"These scars will fade away but never disappear, my dear.
We'll raise our fists like lightning to rods to god and
if he strikes us down,
then he strikes us down.
But first, let him hear us speak:
We are like the legacy of thunderstorms we watched and swore in doorways, 'We will never be the same again.'"

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

As I am writing this, I am watching this tiny bug crawl across the monitor. I'm trying to deterimine wheter I should kill it, but then I think that it might be the food of some other creature and that creature may be the food of another, and so on.
The Christmas tree blinking ceaselessly next to me makes me want to burn this house down, but I know I can't, for everything I have is here, everything I am.
I am not happy. Not here, not now.
I want to flee, flee this town, this county, state and country, but I don't know where to go...
I don't want to feel like this. Melancholy. I've had a difficult week, and I'm not sure I want to see the next...
Don't worry about me. Not now. I haven't made that decision yet, but when I do you all will be the first to know.

"These scars will fade away but never disappear, my dear.
We'll raise our fists like lightning to rods to god and
if he strikes us down,
then he strikes us down.
But first, let him hear us speak:
We are like the legacy of thunderstorms we watched and swore in doorways, 'We will never be the same again.'"
That was beautiful.

[Aloysius]

The second part was from The Surgeon and The Scientist by La Dispute. I don't want to take credit for that bit.

And thank you.

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

As I am writing this, I am watching this tiny bug crawl across the monitor. I'm trying to deterimine wheter I should kill it, but then I think that it might be the food of some other creature and that creature may be the food of another, and so on.
The Christmas tree blinking ceaselessly next to me makes me want to burn this house down, but I know I can't, for everything I have is here, everything I am.
I am not happy. Not here, not now.
I want to flee, flee this town, this county, state and country, but I don't know where to go...
I don't want to feel like this. Melancholy. I've had a difficult week, and I'm not sure I want to see the next...
Don't worry about me. Not now. I haven't made that decision yet, but when I do you all will be the first to know.

"These scars will fade away but never disappear, my dear.
We'll raise our fists like lightning to rods to god and
if he strikes us down,
then he strikes us down.
But first, let him hear us speak:
We are like the legacy of thunderstorms we watched and swore in doorways, 'We will never be the same again.'"

I love you.

[Aloysius]

I love you.
I love you, too.

And everyone else.
I haven't met any of you, and I feel that I have more in common with you all than with myself.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I feel that I have more in common with you all than with myself.
Can I point out the irony here?

[¿Que?]

Cockblocking? Do you really think that's so smart, Mr. writer man?

[¿Que?]

I don't even know if I want to see her anymore. All I wanted to do was see her again, embrace her again, ever since Friday. Now, I'm like, meh. Another person who's hurt me. Just more of the same...

[Widerstand]

I don't even know if I want to see her anymore. All I wanted to do was see her again, embrace her again, ever since Friday. Now, I'm like, meh. Another person who's hurt me. Just more of the same...

Drown yourself in politics, lifestylism and activism!

Helps me every time.

[¿Que?]

Drown yourself in politics, lifestylism and activism!

Helps me every time.
I'm actually quite unproductive when I get like this. And besides, I have too much work to do, mostly because I was doing that politics shit instead of my actual work, and now I have deadlines I'm not sure how I'm going to meet. No offense, but fuck all that:cursing:

Thanks for the advice, though :thumbup1:

[Magón]

Just don't focus on her so much. I mean, there are plenty of chicks who've turned me down, and dropped me, but I always come back on top because I've got something productive to do. Either that or I just do other things until a new lady friend comes along.

[Widerstand]

I'm actually quite unproductive when I get like this. And besides, I have too much work to do, mostly because I was doing that politics shit instead of my actual work, and now I have deadlines I'm not sure how I'm going to meet. No offense, but fuck all that:cursing:

Thanks for the advice, though :thumbup1:

Ah, too bad.

I don't think I'd have ever gotten hooked on leftist politics if I hadn't needed a major source of distraction from the fact that I'm pretty pathetic, lonely and heartbroken.

But yes, there's always another one: Yo dawg, so I heard you like broken hearts, so we put you in a relationship so you can break a heart while your heart is broken.

[Aloysius]

Can I point out the irony here?
I put it there on purpose. I'm a big fan of irony.

[Widerstand]

I put it there on purpose. I'm a big fan of irony.

Let's dance to joy division
and celebrate the irony

!

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I put it there on purpose. I'm a big fan of irony.
Fucking hipster! :laugh::laugh:

[¿Que?]

Ah, too bad.

I don't think I'd have ever gotten hooked on leftist politics if I hadn't needed a major source of distraction from the fact that I'm pretty pathetic, lonely and heartbroken.

But yes, there's always another one: Yo dawg, so I heard you like broken hearts, so we put you in a relationship so you can break a heart while your heart is broken.
It seems I'm more confused than I thought. She texted me, and I proceeded to try and get her to let me come over. She said no, but I feel surprisingly better. Weird.

[Ele'ill]

The car fucking battery died because someone left the god damn fucking lights on again- what the fuck- so now I get to wake up at 3am to walk to work. I'm glad I like the cold.

[¿Que?]

But yes, there's always another one: Yo dawg, so I heard you like broken hearts, so we put you in a relationship so you can break a heart while your heart is broken.
Also, I have no idea what you're trying to say here.

[Widerstand]

Also, I have no idea what you're trying to say here.

Puppies die.

[¿Que?]

wbYU50d8O4k

[Bright Banana Beard]

0l__jSgTAmQ
We will travel further than the stars light can shine!
Waving our flags of Justice and humanliness not as Violent beasts but as Leaders of Potential!
And if other life does exist out there we will extend our hand in respect and graditude and welcome our new siblings!
And if they turn on us we will look them dead in the eye and say those faithful words:
JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!


Why!?

[L.A.P.]

I have yet to see a forum that acts more like a family than this one.

Which is why I don't get the people who constantly complain about this forum and say they hate it so much yet still post on it.

[L.A.P.]

Don't be so uptight. That's where I failed with women. If you love somebody, set them free.

On a side note, a friend of mine just recently got really screwed over by his girlfriend. He's like some really naive young working class kid (about 20 years old), and she's at least 10 years older. Oh yeah, he's also skinny and probably not very strong. Anyway, she beat the shit out of him with a frying pan. He showed up at my place bleeding and shit and trying to evade the cops because he hit her back. So yeah, he's sort of getting screwed over pretty bad. Then again, he's a bit of an egoist and chauvinist. He's also a bit condescending himself, so it's hard to get a sense of the power dynamics at play, especially since I've never met his girlfriend.

Damn that's pretty harsh, regardless of how his character was a person has a right to defend himself/herself no matter what gender. An update on the situation, I went out with that girl's most hated person and then she wanted me back so I agreed and we were supposed to have sex and this would be my first time. However, she decided to sneak out of the house with my sister at 2:00 AM and got in trouble with the cops and blamed it on my sister. Not to mention she came to my house without her parents knowing and made my whole family look bad, I also found out she did this to see another guy. This gave me time to think with my brain and not my balls. I put the pieces together after knowing her for a little over a year and realized she's manipulative, untrustworthy, and a plain old ***** who used me, again. This is probably the sixth time I've almost had sex with a girl but the situation was out of my hands and utterly failed. She was bad news anyways.

[Widerstand]

On a related note I think I'll rather go to bed than type up sobstorys.

[Aloysius]

I broke up with my "girlfriend" today.
I'm pretty certain she's plotting my murder.

[¿Que?]

Damn that's pretty harsh, regardless of how his character was a person has a right to defend himself/herself no matter what gender. An update on the situation, I went out with that girl's most hated person and then she wanted me back so I agreed and we were supposed to have sex and this would be my first time. However, she decided to sneak out of the house with my sister at 2:00 AM and got in trouble with the cops and blamed it on my sister. Not to mention she came to my house without her parents knowing and made my whole family look bad, I also found out she did this to see another guy. This gave me time to think with my brain and not my balls. I put the pieces together after knowing her for a little over a year and realized she's manipulative, untrustworthy, and a plain old ***** who used me, again. This is probably the sixth time I've almost had sex with a girl but the situation was out of my hands and utterly failed. She was bad news anyways.
Yeah, dude, sorry for calling you uptight, and then like not even a few days later I get all emo about a girl too. I guess I'm just a hypocrite or something. Don't worry, you're young. You'll get to have sex eventually. It's for the best, like you said, she was bad news :)

[gorillafuck]

This is probably the sixth time I've almost had sex with a girl but the situation was out of my hands and utterly failed.
Wow.

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

You know what the best cure for that is... getting really drunk at a party and going with the flow.:cool:

NOTE:If this comes across as sexist in anyway I did not mean it like that.

[Blackscare]

_e9bCdK8Rkc

[gorillafuck]

You know what the best cure for that is... getting really drunk at a party and going with the flow.:cool:

NOTE:If this comes across as sexist in anyway I did not mean it like that.
I don't see how it would be.

[Ele'ill]

While walking to work at 2am I passed a diner. I also passed a dead squirrel. The diner was closed and I realized suddenly what it is that I need from life- I need a group of people that I see every day at various times- I want to know almost everybody that I pass on the road and get cart blocked by in the grocery story. I want to be able to know and love the people I hate and my god I wanted that diner to be open then.

[L.A.P.]

_e9bCdK8Rkc

It's like he can see through my soul.:lol:

[L.A.P.]

Yeah, dude, sorry for calling you uptight, and then like not even a few days later I get all emo about a girl too. I guess I'm just a hypocrite or something. Don't worry, you're young. You'll get to have sex eventually. It's for the best, like you said, she was bad news :)

Yeah you're right, I should look at on the positive side. Each time I almost get lucky and fail I get closer each time, but that also worries because if this pattern keeps on going then when I do finally have sex her parents will probably walk in. Fuck, now I'm paranoid.

[Fawkes]

it'd be nice to not be bipolar/have a "mood stabilizer" that keeps me manic at all times

[PilesOfDeadNazis]

A meeting with my landlord tomorrow determines whether my girlfriend and I will be homeless in 3 days or have the chance to raise over $700 by the 15th when I just got laid-off.
It's not going to go well. My landlord is a fucking asshole. He told me it would be bad for business while I'm literally about to have to live in my shitty car depending on how good of a mood he's in tomorrow.

Fucking A, I hate how this system works. And I hate my car.:cursing:

[Salyut]

My therapist says theres a risk I could become abusive. I've resolved to never have a relationship. Sad but I feel its the best way to fix things. :(

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Another Jolly day. Don't really have any reason to get out of bed besides the fact my son needs me.

[Aurora]

Almost back to normality today, everything looks a bit more real and i can vaguely feel some emotions. Maybe i'll feel human soon :mellow:

[Jazzhands]

I love how I'm still thinking about the same girl since the end of the 1st of these threads. I saw her today. like usual, no interaction. And I went there specifically to talk to people I needed to. but goddamn she is beautiful...

I'm pretty conflicted right now. I got a few questions going through my head.

Why is it that she has does so many things and has so many friends from all walks of life but I lurk around in my deserted house like a fucking spider every single day? Unfortunately, we can't socialize love.

Why do I know what my problems are, and not how to fix them? I read Crime and Punishment for the past few months. It's about a man who has completely withdrawn from the world of people and is now incapable of any sort of real human connection whatsoever. I almost cried when I read the last part, because I knew how similar I was to Raskolnikov. Example? My grandmother is in and out of the hospital for some really early-stage cancer they can't identify. so she'll be dying within a few years. What really bugs me is that I'm not even that sad about it. I just sort of shrugged it off like everything else in my life.

I did see the shrink, like my parents told me to, and all the things he told me are useless. All the people we talked about who could help me help me act like a real person are gone. and the worst part? I still love her. why can't I just kill that sick, awful feeling inside of me, then forget her and move on? Why must I keep tormenting myself in this painful, humiliating way? Not a day goes by without me thinking of her, but I can't concentrate on anything else when I do.

It's gotten marginally better, I guess. I was a complete wreck every time I posted in the other two friends. But I'm still a long way away. and you know what? I can't deal with it the normal way people around me do: by jumping headfirst into a bottle of jack and drowning their sorrows. I can't do that. because I don't drink because it tastes like piss. plus drinking alone only reminds me more of how awful my life is.

I have nothing. Nothing at all. I've always thought since I was born, that material things don't matter, and they shouldn't determine how they live your life. But really, when you take those out of the equation, I have absolutely nothing at all. Nobody I can talk to without paying for it, nobody who cares about me in the same way I care about others. maybe there are a few people who view me as a minor friend, but they're the type you should never, ever tell anything important to. I don't blame them, really. I look downright scary. I look sort of like a shark, actually. Especially the eyes. god, I'm low. there is nothing whatsoever to look forward to in my entire life.

every time I ever have one of these thoughts, I can actually feel a tangible nothingness in between my arms and my chest. It's a cold, unpleasant feeling, like wind on your face when you're wet and outside in the snow. I can't remember the last time i've ever hugged someone longer than a second or two. probably been years. i don't care anymore.

I have no hope. I have no friends. I have no life. I have no job. I have no independence. heeeeelp

[Bright Banana Beard]

heeeeelp

The first step is to begin talking with strangers, look in their eyes, after you get to used to it and are comtfortable with it, then talk to the girl.

Also, desperate is a big turnoff. Take off the pressure of "have to do this" and turn it into "I want to do this."

Despite all this, I just so alone in my area because this town is so small and there isn't anything to do at all.


Good Luck.

[¿Que?]

I have no hope. I have no friends. I have no life. I have no job. I have no independence. heeeeelp
Do some volunteer work. These tend to have higher than normal girl to guy ratios. Being around a bunch of pretty girls that actually give a shit about the working class and the world in general sort of changes your perspective a little.

[Widerstand]

Do some volunteer work. These tend to have higher than normal girl to guy ratios. Being around a bunch of pretty girls that actually give a shit about the working class and the world in general sort of changes your perspective a little.

fuck macktivists.

[gorillafuck]

Lol doing volunteer work for the chicks

[Fawkes]

Lol doing volunteer work for the chicks

Why else would you do it?

[gorillafuck]

If I was a girl and I found out guys were doing volunteer work for the chicks I'd feel pretty demeaned and pissed off. In fact I'd feel quite demeaned and pissed off.

[¿Que?]

Geez, pardon me for suggesting that men have a lot to learn from women, particularly those involved in political struggles.

EDIT: Except a made it a point to mention how pretty they were, which is typical of men to value good looks above all else. Oh well, I guess I got a lot to learn...

EDIT2: Besides, I've never, ever dated anyone I knew from my political activities, so the macktivist accusation is unfounded.

[¿Que?]

Am I just really tired. I thought Zeekloid responded to my previous post with some half way conciliatory, half condescending remark. "Use your head" or something. Hm...I was about to tear into him something fierce.:D

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Why else would you do it?
Because the Jefferson Airplane told us to...

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Because the Jefferson Airplane told us to...
Did they?

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Did they?
Yes! They totally did!

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Yes! They totally did!

Which song?

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Which song?
Volunteers

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Volunteers

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

hahaha! :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

hahaha! :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
Great song/great album.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Great song/great album.

I know, Just added Volunteers to my spotify playlist, (already had White Rabbit & Somebody to love, which are my favourite Airplane tunes).

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I know, Just added Volunteers to my spotify playlist, (already had White Rabbit & Somebody to love, which are my favourite Airplane tunes).
:thumbup:

[Bright Banana Beard]

lol I also love White Rabbit and Somebody to Love.

<3

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I love sleep and miss it so dearly.

[NecroCommie]

At last! After weeks of depression I manage to achieve the kind of relaxed, detached state of mind in which I can consentrate on my on interests instead of superficial lunacies of other people. How do the class-mates react? Someone do something to this pathetic state of Necro!

Fuck I hate extroverts! If I don't want to talk to you, it does not mean I am depressed! Your ideas are not that important!

[Widerstand]

So ya'll, I need your help. How do I manage to numb/kill this awkwardly lingering feeling that I might be falling in love.

[Quail]

So ya'll, I need your help. How do I manage to numb/kill this awkwardly lingering feeling that I might be falling in love.
Sorry, no advice here. Feelings are confusing and can be annoying.

[Widerstand]

truisms ;X

...

fuck.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

So ya'll, I need your help. How do I manage to numb/kill this awkwardly lingering feeling that I might be falling in love.
If I knew, I wouldn't be in this emotional rollercoaster.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

So ya'll, I need your help. How do I manage to numb/kill this awkwardly lingering feeling that I might be falling in love.

Not much you can do. People can crush you completly and still be in love with them, others will say one wrong thing and you'll never love them again. Just Sit back and try to enjoy the ride.

[Fawkes]

So ya'll, I need your help. How do I manage to numb/kill this awkwardly lingering feeling that I might be falling in love.

Masturbation, and lots of it.

[Widerstand]

Masturbation, and lots of it.

Sounds like fun.

[Jazzhands]

The first step is to begin talking with strangers, look in their eyes, after you get to used to it and are comtfortable with it, then talk to the girl.

Also, desperate is a big turnoff. Take off the pressure of "have to do this" and turn it into "I want to do this."

You're kidding me right? Were you not paying attention in the last 2 threads?

http://www.revleft.com/vb/pour-your-heart-t115347/index26.html

[Bright Banana Beard]

You're kidding me right?

http://www.revleft.com/vb/pour-your-heart-t115347/index26.html

No... I can game if I live in a place that isn't car demanding, such as NYC and some city in Honduras.

[¿Que?]

So ya'll, I need your help. How do I manage to numb/kill this awkwardly lingering feeling that I might be falling in love.
Macktivism...

No but seriously
TJPhA9TGRls

[Widerstand]

Macktivism...

No but seriously
TJPhA9TGRls

There's nothing macktivist about saying that I feel I might be falling in love but don't want to.

[¿Que?]

There's nothing macktivist about saying that I feel I might be falling in love but don't want to.
No, you misinterpreted what I meant. You asked a question, I answered it. In any case it was sarcasm.

[Widerstand]

No, you misinterpreted what I meant. You asked a question, I answered it. In any case it was sarcasm.

Ah. I see. Your flaw was to assume I have any form of social interactions outside of politics.

[gorillafuck]

So ya'll, I need your help. How do I manage to numb/kill this awkwardly lingering feeling that I might be falling in love.
Describe the situation.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Finally some time to myself.

[Fawkes]

Wait, how long has your name been Comrade Wolfie for?

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Wait, how long has your name been Comrade Wolfie for?

Always.

[Fawkes]

Wow. This is almost as stunning as when I found out it was Zeekloid.

[gorillafuck]

That was a two part episode

[¿Que?]

A gay republican walks into a bar with a prudish sorority girl and a half dead anarcho-Marxist. The gay republican and the sorority girl are hitting it off. The half-dead anarcho-Marxist keeps texting another galaxy. Plans are made. Plans fall through. Bob Dylan walks into the room and says, "Anyone can fill their life up with things he can see but he just cannot touch." The anarcho-Marxist looks up from his Android, "I know, right!" The other two see what it is all about. It can be better than tradition. If only he would have told her...

[Widerstand]

A gay republican walks into a bar with a prudish sorority girl and a half dead anarcho-Marxist. The gay republican and the sorority girl are hitting it off. The half-dead anarcho-Marxist keeps texting another galaxy. Plans are made. Plans fall through. Bob Dylan walks into the room and says, "Anyone can fill their life up with things he can see but he just cannot touch." The anarcho-Marxist looks up from his Android, "I know, right!" The other two see what it is all about. It can be better than tradition. If only he would have told her...

you better been high as hell when you wrote this cos what the fuck?

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

A gay republican walks into a bar with a prudish sorority girl and a half dead anarcho-Marxist. The gay republican and the sorority girl are hitting it off. The half-dead anarcho-Marxist keeps texting another galaxy. Plans are made. Plans fall through. Bob Dylan walks into the room and says, "Anyone can fill their life up with things he can see but he just cannot touch." The anarcho-Marxist looks up from his Android, "I know, right!" The other two see what it is all about. It can be better than tradition. If only he would have told her...

http://wackywebwritings.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/dude-wtf.jpg

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

A gay republican walks into a bar with a prudish sorority girl and a half dead anarcho-Marxist. The gay republican and the sorority girl are hitting it off. The half-dead anarcho-Marxist keeps texting another galaxy. Plans are made. Plans fall through. Bob Dylan walks into the room and says, "Anyone can fill their life up with things he can see but he just cannot touch." The anarcho-Marxist looks up from his Android, "I know, right!" The other two see what it is all about. It can be better than tradition. If only he would have told her...

Let me try and decipher this...You have a gay republican friend and you are in love with is sorority girl he is friends with. One day you guys go out for drinks together and your nervous so you avoid eye contact and conversation by just texting away. your gay republican friend ends up making more plans for another day and you never got t make them yourself. While your in the bar Bob Dyan "Dear Landlady" comes on and you make a comparison to your life so far. You never told her you like her and it might be to late.

Am I right?

[Widerstand]

Let me try and decipher this...You have a gay republican friend and you are in love with is sorority girl he is friends with. One day you guys go out for drinks together and your nervous so you avoid eye contact and conversation by just texting away. your gay republican friend ends up making more plans for another day and you never got t make them yourself. While your in the bar Bob Dyan "Dear Landlady" comes on and you make a comparison to your life so far. You never told her you like her and it might be to late.

Am I right?

That was so sad.

[Bilan]

I just broke up with my girlfriend of a year today, and I can't help but feel it was a horrible decision, whilst simultaneously recognising it was for the best.
Fuck.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

I just broke up with my girlfriend of a year today, and I can't help but feel it was a horrible decision, whilst simultaneously recognising it was for the best.
Fuck.

Don't worry, You'll feel better with time. Try to put your mind to other things instead of focusing on the loss/her. Go out and see your mates, start a new book, or just indulge yourself with something, there is nothing worse than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, time to move on and get on with your life!

[Il Medico]

I just broke up with my girlfriend of a year today, and I can't help but feel it was a horrible decision, whilst simultaneously recognising it was for the best.
Fuck.
:( Sorry mate. That sucks.

[Quail]

Utterly lame post here, but never mind. I've been feeling really low lately for no reason whatsoever and it really sucks. I'm also kind of missing someone and I don't know when I'm next going to see them. :(

[ÑóẊîöʼn]

Fuck the DWP and their raging incompetence.

[¿Que?]

Let me try and decipher this...You have a gay republican friend and you are in love with is sorority girl he is friends with. One day you guys go out for drinks together and your nervous so you avoid eye contact and conversation by just texting away. your gay republican friend ends up making more plans for another day and you never got t make them yourself. While your in the bar Bob Dyan "Dear Landlady" comes on and you make a comparison to your life so far. You never told her you like her and it might be to late.

Am I right?
That's close but no cigar. I don't give two shits about sorority girls. All I'm interested in is space travel...

[Jazzhands]

Let me try and decipher this...You have a gay republican friend and you are in love with is sorority girl he is friends with. One day you guys go out for drinks together and your nervous so you avoid eye contact and conversation by just texting away. your gay republican friend ends up making more plans for another day and you never got t make them yourself. While your in the bar Bob Dyan "Dear Landlady" comes on and you make a comparison to your life so far. You never told her you like her and it might be to late.

Well, now that it makes sense, my sincere condolences.

[Jazzratt]

Today I had a meeting with a psychiatrist that I think is a total wanker and, as a result, spent the waiting to leave. The whole thing put me in a fucking foul mood with the world in general and myself in particular (because who needs an excuse to feel bad about themselves?)

I also have a yearning to see someone and, as (cruel, mocking) evidence of the old adage about money buying happiness I can afford to travel but I don't know when I'll be able to.

[gorillafuck]

Ugh nauseous.

I went home from school today because of it.

[Ele'ill]

Ugh nauseous.

I went home from school today because of it.

Wow, your heart must be empty...

[gorillafuck]

Wow, your heart must be empty...
:laugh: I literally laughed out loud at this.

I only had one class left and I was positive I was gonna throw up. I felt it justified.

And my heart isn't empty, I just very rarely complain or say anything to anyone about my actual problems.

[Jazzratt]

I wish I had some fucking credit on my phone :( Just got a text from someone and I can't reply, thought I feel it's very important that I do. I hope they don't assume I don't give a shit.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

I wish I had some fucking credit on my phone :( Just got a text from someone and I can't reply, thought I feel it's very important that I do. I hope they don't assume I don't give a shit.

You know that is far from the truth. That person cares about you alot.

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

Well, now that it makes sense, my sincere condolences.

That's just like your opinion man..

[Aloysius]

I'm worried.
A close friend of mine told me she wasn't going to see her 16th birthday.
I've already got one friend who's gone through more shit and habitually cuts herself...

I have more female friends than is strictly necessary, and can count my close male friends on one hand.

Hmm...I feel I should macktivate*, but I'm not sure who I should turn my macktionations** toward...
The girl with whom I have never actually had a decent conversation with, the girl who is constantly threatening to kill herself, or the girl I went out with at point but am now constantly talking to on the phone, or the girl who is almost exactly like but a helluva a lot more attractive...
Decisions, decisions...


*a word I made up to describe the act of turning up the charm. Or lack of, in my case.
**the product of "mackin'" (machinations)

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

Utterly lame post here, but never mind. I've been feeling really low lately for no reason whatsoever and it really sucks. I'm also kind of missing someone and I don't know when I'm next going to see them. :(
I thought feeling low for no reason is what happens to everyone. I really hope you feel better.<3

[Quail]

I wish I had some fucking credit on my phone :( Just got a text from someone and I can't reply, thought I feel it's very important that I do. I hope they don't assume I don't give a shit.
I'm sure they know you care.

[Fawkes]

I just had another dream about a girl I was best friends with whom I got immediately cut off from after changing schools and haven't been able to get in contact with since. That was four years ago. weak.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Fawkes, I didn't think you'd dream, I though you'd blindly stumble through your sub-concious.

OT: Sick of being lied to.

[Fawkes]

ah, semantics

[gorillafuck]

I feel like I don't have any really good friends anymore. I have a group of friends but my hobbies, activities, and musical tastes that I have don't align with theirs, I was really close to a girl but then we started dating and when we broke up we haven't really been friends since (I'm not hurt by the breakup but I'm hurt by her leaving me as a friend), and one of my friends who I was really close with about a year ago is always busy with college applications, family events, and shit and doesn't make time for me so I never see her outside of school.

[Bad Grrrl Agro]

I'm having a strange craving for dill pickles and pasta with pesto.:(

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

I'm having a strange craving for dill
pickles and pasta with pesto.:(

To the 24 hour shop!