Glenn Beck Conspiricy Generator

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Create your own conspiricy! Just like the real thing!

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-glenn-beck-conspiracy.htm

[Lyev]

Al Qaeda is in cahoots with radicalized Maoists at every level of government who stole our country when you weren't looking so they could prevent law-abiding Americans from shooting abortion doctors. What ever happened to the ''land of the free''?Everyone quote yours!!

[Aloysius]

The Haiti-helping hippies who work in the White House are coming after all of us, and won't stop until they prevent you from worshipping Jesus, which is exactly what the Nazis did to the Jews.
What the flying fuck?

If we don't act now, we won't be able to stop the dope-smoking Trotskyites who are pushing their extremist agenda to put you in gay reeducation camps.
...

[Nolan]

Wow..just wow.


The leftist Al-Qaeda conspirators who control congress are perverting our culture so they can pack you into Priuses and take you off to a place to be slaughtered



I'm not saying Obama is Hitler, but don't you find it interesting that members of his secret police force should make you fear for your country because they're seeking to aid the Communists who want to socialize your Nazism. How do I know this? I educated myself. I went to the library.



There is a disease in America. And the disease is being spread by radical Leninists who are meeting behind closed doors with intent to stage another moon landing in a Hollywood movie set.

[#FF0000]

Liberal neo-monarchists are forging a secret plot to take over America once they turn us all into communist slaves, which, as you know, is what Mao was trying to do when he bombed Pearl Harbor.

welp

[Pirate Utopian]

It's time we ask ourselves why Hollywood liberals are plotting with the terrorists who attacked us on 9/11 to douse you with gasoline and set you on fire, just like the Communists tried to do to our Founding Fathers at Iwo Jima.

[Stand Your Ground]

Barack Obama and his Marxist minions are molesting our constitution with intent to lobotomize all registered republicans who refuse to turn over their private property to the federal government.

Hahaha! :laugh:

[Comrade Awesome]

There is a disease in America. And the disease is being spread by radical Leninists who are acting on the orders of Keith Olbermann so they can create alien-human hybrids that will vote Democrat in the next election.
Liberal neo-monarchists are perverting our culture so they can require every man, woman, and child to gay-marry a same-sex partner, specially chosen by a government matrimony panel.
I'm speechless

[synthesis]

God, this might be the best demonstration yet of just how absurd the shit he says is.

[Pretty Flaco]

"Obama and his Civilian National Security Force are perpetrating an elaborate hoax to force you out of your home and make you live on a hippie commune."

[¿Que?]

The DADA engine or something similar. I'm kicking myself for not thinking of this!

[HEAD ICE]

welp

leaned

[Bright Banana Beard]

Buckle up your seatbelt, America, and prepare for a crash landing because Nancy Pelosi and her liberal lackeys have formed a secret oligarhy that aims to force you to gay-marry an illegal immigrant in a mosque at Ground Zero

[Magón]

Awesome.


Environmentalist wackos and the pelican lobby are trampling on our values so they can force you to gay-marry an illegal immigrant in a mosque at Ground Zero.


Nancy Pelosi and her liberal lackeys are copying from Mein Kampf chapter and verse so they can force you out of your home and make you live on a hippie commune.

EDIT: Probably the best one.


Government stormstroopers are recreating Nazi Germany so that they can use stem cell research to clone even more communist pinko vegans wearing Che Guevara t-shirts.

[Axle]

"The terrorist enablers in our Taliban-occupied White House are using gestapo tactics so they can operate concentration camps right here on American soil"

:lol:...that almost didn't go far enough.

[Red Commissar]

"God-hating liberal secularists are spying on you at this very moment as part of their agenda to ban the Bible, which is exactly what Trotsky did during the Mexican Missile Crisis"

[Martin Blank]

We must take our country back from the godless socialists who are perverting our culture so they can build a time machine out of a Prius, which will be used to go back and surrender America to the British.


http://content7.flixster.com/photo/12/38/38/12383893_gal.jpg
"Doc, you're telling me you built a time machine ... out of a Prius?!"



I have in my hand a list of godless left-wing sodomites who are molesting our Constitution with intent to ban private property and turn it over to the collective. They don't want it to be We the People anymore. They want it to be We the Pot-Smoking Granny-Euthanizing Marxist Nazi Weasels.


http://thehemptress.com/images/collection/i%20grew%20hemp.jpg
"Our forefathers took drugs!" (Fun fact: the Constitution was printed on hemp paper.)



Tyrannical tree-huggers are working with our enemies to control your mind by brainwashing you with fluoride in your drinking water.


http://www.philipbrennan.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fluoridation-Nazis-01-web.png

Nice to see that the Koch brothers are getting their money's worth from the batshit insane right.



Here's what's happening America: Tax-hiking liberal socialists are creating an army of Dennis Kucinich clones to help them control our population by putting sterilants in our drinking water.


http://whitenoiseinsanity.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/denniselizabethkucinichphoto.jpg

An army of Kuciniches -- of liberal vegan pacifists with hot wives? May not be a bad thing, in the final analysis.



If we don't act now, we won't be able to stop the dope-smoking Trotskyites who are acting on the orders of Keith Olbermann so they can erect a statue of Fidel Castro made out of recycled garden burger boxes right in front of the Pentagon.


http://puntabulous.com/wp-content/cookie-monster-wtf-is-this.jpg
No, I mean, seriously, WTF is this?!

[Sentinel]

I have in my hand a list of godless left-wing sodomites who are molesting our Constitution with intent to ban private property and turn it over to the collective. They don't want it to be We the People anymore. They want it to be We the Pot-Smoking Granny Euthanizing Marxist Nazi Weasels.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

That was fucking funny.

[Sir Comradical]

Barack Obama and his Marxist minions are molesting our constitution with intent to lobotomize all registered republicans who refuse to turn over their private property to the federal government.

This is actually a good idea.

[ContrarianLemming]

Hey he's just asking questions America, look it up for yourself, you'll see, he doesn't want to do the thinking for you, he's just a concerned citizen.

[Quail]

"Leftist sodomites won't tell you about their real agenda, which is to tattoo a hammer and sickle on your buttocks"

:lol:

[Apoi_Viitor]

"We are under siege by totalitarian government bureaucrats who are perpetrating an elaborate hoax to prevent you from worshipping Jesus, which is exactly what the Nazis did to the Jews."

[gorillafuck]

"I have in my hand a list of godless left-wing sodomites who should make you fear for your country because they're seeking to feed the Tea Partiers to the lions on pay-per-view TV."

[EvilRedGuy]

"Leftist sodomites won't tell you about their real agenda, which is to tattoo a hammer and sickle on your buttocks"

:lol:

That would actually be funny.

But seriously, what is Glenny on...poor thing. :(

[gorillafuck]

But seriously, what is Glenny on...poor thing. :(
These aren't things he's actually said.

[Apoi_Viitor]

These aren't things he's actually said.

They pretty much are....

[Dimentio]

"Radicalized vegans are plotting with the terrorist who attacked us on 9/11 to aid the communists who want to socialize your Nazism. How do I know this? I educated myself. I went to the library."

[gorillafuck]

They pretty much are....
He says outrageous things and is generally a nutcase (actually he's a pretend nutcase since he doesn't actually believe what he says). But it's dumb to be saying "wow what a nut" based on things that this generator made up.

[Sentinel]

'The mainstream media won't tell you, but government thugs don't want you to know that their real plan is to change US currency by putting Michael Moore, Al Gore and Keith Olbermann on $1, $5, and $14 bills. Add up those numbers and what do you get? 20, which is the same day of the month Hitler was born.'

'Blue-helmeted U.N. troops are conspiring to molest your kitten. And you know who else tried to do that? Hitler.'

[∞]

This one is the best


The goons at ACORN and the Service employees International Union are consorting with the Bolsheviks at the Federal Reserve to euthanize your grandma with a pillow.

[Il Medico]

all you need to do is connect the dots to understand that acorn and obama's czars are conspiring with fema so they can ban the bible, which is exactly what trotsky did during the mexican missile crisis


the liberal media lapdogs don't want you to know that they are working with our enemies to prevent you from worshiping jesus, which is excatly what the nazis did to the jews.

wtf?

[EvilRedGuy]

He says outrageous things and is generally a nutcase (actually he's a pretend nutcase since he doesn't actually believe what he says). But it's dumb to be saying "wow what a nut" based on things that this generator made up.


Ohh sorry i misunderstod, i thought he actually said this and it was put on the site. My bad. Honestly i couldn't believe this in the start but good to see hes not this far off in his head. :blink:

[L.A.P.]

The AmeriCorps program is a front for government bureaucrats taking a page right out of Stalin's playbook in order to develop a sitcom based on the life of Hitler, which will be filmed in the White House tax payer expense.


''You have the artwork of Mussolini there, here in New York at Rockefeller Plaza.''
That was an actual quote by Glenn Beck on the supposed hammer and sickle he saw on a piece of art at Rockefeller plaza.

[Jazzhands]

That was an actual quote by Glenn Beck on the supposed hammer and sickle he saw on a piece of art at Rockefeller plaza.

:laugh:jeeeesus

[Rusty Shackleford]

The Nazis running the Democrat party are creating an army of Dennis Kucinich clones to help them do exactly what Hitler wrote about in the Communist Manifesto. They're all connected - liberals, Nazis, Kevin Bacon, everybody.
Obama and his Civilian National Security Force are trying to create a public panic about global warming so they can round up all FOX News viewers and put them in MSNBC-run reeducation camps.
Hemp-growing Marxist fornicators are attempting to stifle all dissent so that they can turn the Washington Monument into a giant bong.
Barack Osama and the radical Islamists controlling our government have a secret plot to ban the Bible, which is exactly what Trotsky did during the Mexican Missile Crisis.This one actually seems like something Beck would say:

There is a disease in America. And the disease is being spread by radical Leninists who pose a clear and present danger to the republic because they have a secret plan to eradicate capitalism, just like Saddamn Hussein tried to do when he attacked us on 9/11.
The Obamanazis occupying the White House are seeking to indoctrinate our children as part of their plan to shoot puppies on the White House lawn.This is too fun :D

[Raúl Duke]

I got:


Environmentalist wackos and the pelican lobby have dispatched their brownshirts to help them dismantle our military and enable Islamic terrorists to colonize America without resistance.
and

There are America-hating liberal terrorist sympathizers among us who have a secret diabolical plan to crash your tea party and make you drink the blood of NASCAR fans.

It's full-out absurd. :lol:


Kucinich's wifeYou know, I used to think nothing about his wife and her supposed "hotness"
until you posted the picture and I noticed that she has reddish hair. Now I can see why people were fawning over the whole thing.

[El Rojo]

the real inconvenient truth liberals don't want you to know is that they are acting on the orders of Keith Olbermann so they can turn your church into a drive-thru abortion clinic