Pour Your Heart Out thread II

[F9]

Continuing from here (http://www.revleft.com/vb/pour-your-heart-t115347/index.html)

[Jazzhands]

Now I'm looking for an excuse to post first. CAN'T FIND ONE!! :mad:

[Jazzratt]

I don't make friends easily and the only guy I get on with and who I've seen at least twice a week for fucking years may well be sodding off with his gf to about a tenner away. The reasons are sane and sensible (he lives with his parents, which causes friction and it's a cheap place to live) and I can't begrudge his doing it but fuck it's going to get lonely.

[gorillafuck]

Now I'm looking for an excuse to post first. CAN'T FIND ONE!! :mad:
My deepest condolences.

[leftace53]

I wish I wasn't allergic to kitties, so that I could have a cat and a dog, and get them to do cute poses together, and I'd take adorable pictures like so:
http://www.ctahr.hawaii.edu/erl/ANIMAL%20SCI%20PAGE/cat%20dog.jpg

[Angry Young Man]

I fucking hate men. Drive me to the neurosurgery clinic, I'm getting de-gayed. Heterosexuality is so much easier

[leftace53]

I fucking hate men. Drive me to the neurosurgery clinic, I'm getting de-gayed. Heterosexuality is so much easier

Women aren't much better. Easier to find than gay men maybe, but better? not really.

[Angry Young Man]

I implore everybody to never be dazzled by sixteen candles.

[Jazzhands]

This thread sucks. The first one was so much better.

[Joesky]

I wish i could find some decent people in this world. I always feel isolated and misunderstood most of the time. Heck! even i don't understand myself sometimes.

P.s. Girlfriend has her weaknesses but i love her strengths. Am i trying to save a sinking ship with a bucket? I hope not :(

[Ele'ill]

I find myself more at odds with people I'm supposed to lean on for political support than the people I'm supposed to consider my enemy.

[Tablo]

I find myself more at odds with people I'm supposed to lean on for political support than the people I'm supposed to consider my enemy.
That's a reality for most of us.

[gorillafuck]

The first post in the last pour your heart out thread made me laugh out loud.

[leftace53]

People think they have issues? Imagine what life would be like as a cactus:
http://www.yasrsly.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/hug.jpg

[bcbm]

a person i was close to years ago but haven't seen or spoken to in a long time died in a car accident. i found out from the newspaper at work today. fuck

[#FF0000]

a person i was close to years ago but haven't seen or spoken to in a long time died in a car accident. i found out from the newspaper at work today. fuck

Ahhh that fucking sucks. :(

[bcbm]

yeah i saw the name in the paper and hoped for the rest of my shift that it was someone else with the same name but... it wasn't. lots of old memories flooding back. feels weird, to squash a lot of feelings into a word that doesn't do anywhere near justice to the situation.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

I wish i could find some decent people in this world. I always feel isolated and misunderstood most of the time. Heck! even i don't understand myself sometimes.

P.s. Girlfriend has her weaknesses but i love her strengths. Am i trying to save a sinking ship with a bucket? I hope not :(
I can relate to your second point.

[Ele'ill]

My girlfriend fell pregnant and we came to the decision that it was best to abort it. She told her mum, who came and took her half way up the country to stay with her, because she could get it done private up there opposed to waiting another month. Then, after speaking to my gf all the time and having relatively good communcations with her mum, I recieved a message out of the blue from her mum calling us idiots and that I can't possibly understand the hardship of the situation, and generally being a fucking dick. I replied saying that she was being unneccessarily agressive and that it wasn't helping the situation one bit. Then shit blew up. I got a phone call saying I was out of order and aggressive, I completely disagree as I purposely kept a dignant tone and wasn't insult- as she was. This resulted in me getting called a oik (from her this bascially means lower class scum) and just shouted out so I couldn't talk. To Try and tame the situation I then sent an apology, mainly to appease my gf. Today I recieved another message from the mum saying that I underestimated her and that she was basically going to stop us seeing eachother for aslong as she wants- the mum has now deleted her fb page, presumebly so I can't contact her. I reckon I'm gonna try and call today to talk about this, though I doubt the call will be taken. We're actually adults aswell by the way, who live away from home and we're going to be moving in together in the next month, so this may also have massive rammifications for my housing situation. I also have a funeral this week.
She's my world and everythings fucked. I don't know what to do.
Sorry, I just really needed to vent.

Hang in there. Things will be different a month from now. If things can't get better you can still look forward to the change and if nothing else, once you get through this entirely, you will have a lot of new experiences under your belt. Shit makes things grow.

[CountryKid]

Just a good old boy. Ain't causing no harm. Wanting to hang in the arms, of just another good old boy. Turn 'round that camo hat, cause I want to get close to you. But you shy away from me, when I pull you closer. Please kiss me, and tell me you love me as much as I do. Don't run from me, lest we never embrace again.


Please come back, for it has been so long. I lie here, under the moon and stars. I remember the wonderful laughs we had together. When you told me you wanted me, that cool autumn night, after the (american) Football game. I want you back here by my side, whispering sweet words into my ear.


However I fear, this was all a dream. My life is slipping away, and your not here beside me. I want to be with you, I always dream of you. Come back to me.


Not

[BeerShaman]

Getting a degree won't give me life.
Life's too hard sometimes, yet it can be harder. And that's what it will be. Hard as hell.
Maybe I should be harder. But few want this for me.
I know I'm wrong, but I just don't know it.
Sometimes everything gets fucked up!
Why are people so jealous and intolerant?
Don't monopolize my love you prejudiced b**ch!
They are trying to control me. I am bound. I must break the bonds. But it is too hard. It's a be slave or die!

[BeerShaman]

- Hey I'm god!
- So what!?!:lol:

[leftace53]

I know life is unfair, but why can't it be unfair in my favour for once?

[CountryKid]

Hard to accept what you have in life, when you know it's all worthless. I dont understand how you folks can be so active, when it's meaningless in the end.

[Mumbles]

Just had a conversation with a friend who was going to commit suicide. I'm glad I was able to get her back on track by telling her to make her own purpose for life, but still. Having a conversation with a suicidal friend makes you really question life. Especially if it all starts while you're having a good day. Contrast the good with the horrible. Every meaningful conversation I've had seems to have been about something scary.

[Barry Lyndon]

I want to bang one of my professors. So bad.

[Foldered]

I want to bang one of my professors. So bad.
I'm in the same boat. Totally could have if she didn't renew her contract recently.

Oh well, I grad soon.

[CountryKid]

Damn nostalgic dreams.

:crying:

[leftace53]

Damn nostalgic dreams.

I always have wierd dreams, last night, I dreamt that an ostrich invaded my house.

[CountryKid]

I always have wierd dreams, last night, I dreamt that an ostrich invaded my house.

Wow, What the hell? Sounds scary. Them things are huge. :)


The weirdest dream I ever had was seeing the universe created.

Suprisingly, it happened when two male gods came at the same time starting the big bang. The angels wanted to play in their man juices, and ended up forming the universe together.

[leftace53]

The weirdest dream I ever had was seeing the universe created.

Suprisingly, it happened when two male gods came at the same time starting the big bang. The angels wanted to play in their man juices, and ended up forming the universe together.

:thumbup1: How you are still in the closet, I don't know. :lol:

My wierdest "dream" was a sort of a lucid dream where I couldn't wake up, it was creepy.

Also, what I thought wierd about my last dream was the part where the ostrich had arms (not human arms, but ostrich-y arms) so it could open doors.

[Jazzratt]

:thumbup1: How you are still in the closet, I don't know. :lol:

I can guess:


Location: Arkansas

[the last donut of the night]

i have a feeling that if i don't fuck somebody very soon, the sexual tension could mae me kill someone

[CountryKid]

I can guess:


This



Even if I was "out and about" I still wouldn't be with anyone, because I haven't seen anyone.

:(

[Chambered Word]

also, what i thought wierd about my last dream was the part where the ostrich had arms (not human arms, but ostrich-y arms) so it could open doors.

Brix would have been shat...

[Blackscare]

I'm pissed because I have ADD (or something, I know there's debate on this subject) and the only thing that seems to help me focus enough to dedicate time to writing on the subjects I'm passionate about (I can read all day long, no problem there) is adderal.

I sit there, pen in hand (or fingers to keyboard) with all the ideas there in my mind, but am unable to consistently sit there and knock it out. This is getting in the way of my current project, an outline for a book on Marxism in the information age. I'm doing it, but it's painfully slow going.

My problem is, I have a strong proclivity for drugs. Last year I started an awful heroin addiction I just recently got over. I used to abuse amphetamines as well as use them as prescribed, so I'm nervous about starting my prescription again. I'm afraid I'll start using seriously again, and if I do that I'll die.

I don't want to be dependent on a drug the rest of my life simply to do what I love to do, and at the same time I'm frustrated that I'm in a situation where I'm afraid to use this drug.

[Aurora]

At the moment i don't feel there's anything in my future worth living through... i get this feeling its only a matter of time before i slip away :crying:

[CountryKid]

At the moment i don't feel there's anything in my future worth living through... i get this feeling its only a matter of time before i slip away :crying:


Too true man.

[Nwoye]

Suprisingly, it happened when two male gods came at the same time starting the big bang. The angels wanted to play in their man juices, and ended up forming the universe together.
I'm rather certain that's not how it went down irl.

[CountryKid]

I'm rather certain that's not how it went down irl.

Pretty sure I got as much proof as most of the Religious World.

Hell, I think it was even a vision.

[Chambered Word]

Pretty sure I got as much proof as most of the Religious World.

Hell, I think it was even a vision.

Start your own religion = $$$$

[Foldered]

1) Have vision.
2) Start religion.
3) ???
4) Profit.

[Nwoye]

3) is actually cause wars.

[CountryKid]

Not sure how to market this.

:confused:

[Pretty Flaco]

The unfortunate fact of the matter is that cops don't take kindly to skateboarders that are breaking city juvenile curfew laws.

[Nwoye]

Not sure how to market this.

:confused:
yeah your market demographic is basically religious gay men. good luck with that.

[leftace53]

I feel that nobody takes me seriously when I talk about things like power tools, or construction shit, or sports because I'm a female of tiny stature. I can only assume this also contributes to my misanthropy.

[AK]

Start your own religion = $$$$
Reminds me of L. Ron Hubbard.

[Invincible Summer]

I feel that nobody takes me seriously when I talk about things like power tools, or construction shit, or sports because I'm a female of tiny stature. I can only assume this also contributes to my misanthropy.

What a load of bullshit. Do they act all condescending and think you're "cute" for talking about "guy stuff" or even just ignore you? I've seen both happen to women I know and it was really horrendous.

I've actually been accused of not being a "real man" because I didn't watch the Superbowl. Also, when I was looking at some old history books, some guy told me I was too young to understand that stuff (I'm Chinese so I look younger than my age). Dumb people are dumb. Misanthropy ftw!


My gripe is that my good friend is really starting to grind my gears. I've always had political conflicts with him because he's a libertarian, but lately he's been spouting this "Why can't (insert protesting group/anti-imperialist nation/minority activist group/etc here) just accept hegemony/imperialism and be like everyone else?" bullshit and I find it really offensive.

[leftace53]

What a load of bullshit. Do they act all condescending and think you're "cute" for talking about "guy stuff" or even just ignore you? I've seen both happen to women I know and it was really horrendous.


For a second there I thought you were saying that what I said was bullshit, then I realized better :) Yes! its like what you do with little kids that suddenly discover something obvious, like a pat on the head. Dumb people are dumb.

[CountryKid]

Fucking idiots think I can't listen to older music because I am young.


Up your ass fucker, I'll listen to the Misfits if I want to.

[Deny]

A few months ago I had a fantastic fucking day:

1) Find out that my ex (did NOT end well) and his new boyfriend were getting married in DC.

2) Best friend gets arrested for disturbing the peace and is kicked out of school.

2) Get the call from home that my grandfather had died.

[MarxSchmarx]

Deny, you have my condolences.

Blackscare:

I'm pissed because I have ADD (or something, I know there's debate on this subject) and the only thing that seems to help me focus enough to dedicate time to writing on the subjects I'm passionate about (I can read all day long, no problem there) is adderal.

I sit there, pen in hand (or fingers to keyboard) with all the ideas there in my mind, but am unable to consistently sit there and knock it out. This is getting in the way of my current project, an outline for a book on Marxism in the information age. I'm doing it, but it's painfully slow going.

My problem is, I have a strong proclivity for drugs. Last year I started an awful heroin addiction I just recently got over. I used to abuse amphetamines as well as use them as prescribed, so I'm nervous about starting my prescription again. I'm afraid I'll start using seriously again, and if I do that I'll die.

I don't want to be dependent on a drug the rest of my life simply to do what I love to do, and at the same time I'm frustrated that I'm in a situation where I'm afraid to use this drug.

If you haven't already, join a group that has a mentor/sponsor type relationship, somebody you call when you are about to fall through the cracks and vice versa. If all else fails ask a family member or a close friend to talk you out of fucking up. If you are accountable to another human being all the time you are unlikely to relapse. trust me.

[mollymae]

So in a few months, I'm going to college, moving out into an unfamiliar town. My boyfriend of two years and I have made the mutual decision to terminate our relationship when I leave, because we know ourselves well enough to know that we couldn't deal with a long distance relationship. On top of that, my parents' marriage has really been on the rocks lately--they're not happy with each other at all, and my dad has even personally expressed his worries that they'll be on the path to divorce after I leave.

so why doesn't any of this upset me at all? :huh:

[¿Que?]

So in a few months, I'm going to college, moving out into an unfamiliar town. My boyfriend of two years and I have made the mutual decision to terminate our relationship when I leave, because we know ourselves well enough to know that we couldn't deal with a long distance relationship. On top of that, my parents' marriage has really been on the rocks lately--they're not happy with each other at all, and my dad has even personally expressed his worries that they'll be on the path to divorce after I leave.

so why doesn't any of this upset me at all? :huh:
Obviously, you see right through the facade. Either that or you're repressing feelings.

[Chambered Word]

Deny that really sucks mate, my condolences. :(

Started feeling absolutely shit tonight, I'm not really sure why. School holidays are here, you'd think I'd be generally happy...

[Nwoye]

so why doesn't any of this upset me at all? :huh:
because of this:


So in a few months, I'm going to college,
You probably feel like your life right now is temporary since you'll soon be starting a new one, and its hard to have an emotional attachment to something you'll soon be moving on from.

[mollymae]

You probably feel like your life right now is temporary since you'll soon be starting a new one, and its hard to have an emotional attachment to something you'll soon be moving on from.

Perhaps.

[Quail]

I should not pour my heart out drunk.

[Il Medico]

So yeah. Managed to fuck things up with a good friend of mine yesterday. Worse thing is, I wasn't even mad at her, just was being a dick and joking around, she isn't talking to me now. :(

[Bright Banana Beard]

So yeah. Managed to fuck things up with a good friend of mine yesterday. Worse thing is, I wasn't even mad at her, just was being a dick and joking around, she isn't talking to me now. :( Give it time and don't talk to her for a while.

[Ele'ill]

I don't like seeing people arrested. I don't like hearing about people I know or know of being arrested. The act of arrest is brutal, controlling, isolating- To those behind bars.

[ContrarianLemming]

Praise all dissent, adore all dissidence.

[Ele'ill]

Fruit flies are amazing.

[Lacrimi de Chiciură]

I saw a living man's brain matter today. OMG!

[superborys]

I'm going to actually pour my heart out now.

I am a complete trainwreck when it comes to relationships. I cannot do anything right.

The first relationship I had lasted less than a week because I was a clumsy fuck and couldn't manage to do anything right. So I skulked for a long, long time. I would come home after school, sit down in front of my computer, turn it on, and just sit there. I was depressed to the fullest extent of the word. I couldn't bring myself to move.

I eventually recovered from that, and the next year of school went by pretty well, no drama to speak of. Well, the next year, I managed to get a girlfriend, and it turned out well, we were together for over a year, until unfortunately I found out she had cheated on me, and I couldn't imagine why. I was a good guy, I did things for her, picked her up when she was down, and everything else, she just cheated on me for no reason.

I dumped her and after recovering from the attachment I had to her, I had a dream that made me realize a plethora of feelings. I thought about this dream for a long time, and then finally stood up and told the girl in the dream that I thought it might love her. She said cold-facedly that she had no intimate feelings for me back.

I recovered from that pretty well, and then I began pursuing another girl, all the while managing to keep myself out of that depressive phase (I had told myself when I recovered the first time that I would not let myself get there again.).

In order for this to make sense, you have to know that in a social environment, I'm separated for my size, my demeanor, and my intelligence. I'm a large, smart, playful/sarcastic guy, and apparently all these make for a very bad person.

The girl in my dreams was in another one, and so I reprofessed my affection for her after probably six months, and this was after building a stronger, closer relationship with her, and she said that she didn't feel anything.

Well, the other girl I used to talk to during class, but we never got to know each other very well. I just recently asked her out, and she said yes, but she said she may not have the time this weekend, and it's saddening me.

I had decided to keep myself distant from her in order to build that friendship-bond I seem to instinctively make, and asked her out. Like I said, she said yes, but she said she may not have time. The next two days passed and I had kept communication to a minimum, just hello's and what's up's and asking only once if she had decided on a time for the date. Well, she said she's very busy, and this was about four days ago.

Yesterday my best friend got invited to a party, and he knew less than half the people that were going, but I knew more than half, and most of them well. I don't know why, but this really depresses me. I think it's just because I realize how little people actually like me. I thought I was being friendly and building strong relationships, but I guess I'm just that fly on the wall that no one actually considers. It's today and I texted the girl again just with small talk, and she doesn't respond frequently, and it makes me feel terrible because I feel like a failure utterly and totally.
I was in the sky happy when she said yes, I just felt like I was on the top of the world. I was jazzed up and felt pretty suave, like I could pursue life in a new fashion. I thought it was ok that she had no time, after all one of the things she has to do this weekend is pretty serious (say goodbye to some friends forever), and I wasn't going to impose on her, but I just don't want her 'forgetting about me', if that makes sense.

I got somewhere, took a step toward maturity and success, but the longer it goes without her responding the more it makes me feel like I screwed up, like I did something wrong, like I failed. I've been told my whole life that I'm destined for great things/I'm a genius/etc, but all of that is meaningless if I'm a miserable, lonely, depressed social outcast.

I just don't want this to be another chapter of failure in my life. I want this to go somewhere, to mean something, and I just want to feel the affection from another person again. I used to cherish knowing that someone liked me enough to be with me of their own free will, but with no girlfriend I don't have that feeling anymore. I just want to feel someone's embrace, someone's affection, and it seems like every time I get near it I fumble and it slips away, and this has left me back here, unable to do anything, not even cry. The only thing I'm able to do now is tell my fellows here on revleft about my perils, and be mocked for my pathetic, cliched story.

[leftace53]

Most of you peeps pourin yer hearts out about your love life (or lack thereof) remind me of the same ex. I feel like I have the opposite problem, and I don't know when I came to be so jaded.

[Jazzhands]

I'm going to actually pour my heart out now.

I am a complete trainwreck when it comes to relationships. I cannot do anything right.

The first relationship I had lasted less than a week because I was a clumsy fuck and couldn't manage to do anything right. So I skulked for a long, long time. I would come home after school, sit down in front of my computer, turn it on, and just sit there. I was depressed to the fullest extent of the word. I couldn't bring myself to move.

I eventually recovered from that, and the next year of school went by pretty well, no drama to speak of. Well, the next year, I managed to get a girlfriend, and it turned out well, we were together for over a year, until unfortunately I found out she had cheated on me, and I couldn't imagine why. I was a good guy, I did things for her, picked her up when she was down, and everything else, she just cheated on me for no reason.

I dumped her and after recovering from the attachment I had to her, I had a dream that made me realize a plethora of feelings. I thought about this dream for a long time, and then finally stood up and told the girl in the dream that I thought it might love her. She said cold-facedly that she had no intimate feelings for me back.

I recovered from that pretty well, and then I began pursuing another girl, all the while managing to keep myself out of that depressive phase (I had told myself when I recovered the first time that I would not let myself get there again.).

In order for this to make sense, you have to know that in a social environment, I'm separated for my size, my demeanor, and my intelligence. I'm a large, smart, playful/sarcastic guy, and apparently all these make for a very bad person.

The girl in my dreams was in another one, and so I reprofessed my affection for her after probably six months, and this was after building a stronger, closer relationship with her, and she said that she didn't feel anything.

Well, the other girl I used to talk to during class, but we never got to know each other very well. I just recently asked her out, and she said yes, but she said she may not have the time this weekend, and it's saddening me.

I had decided to keep myself distant from her in order to build that friendship-bond I seem to instinctively make, and asked her out. Like I said, she said yes, but she said she may not have time. The next two days passed and I had kept communication to a minimum, just hello's and what's up's and asking only once if she had decided on a time for the date. Well, she said she's very busy, and this was about four days ago.

Yesterday my best friend got invited to a party, and he knew less than half the people that were going, but I knew more than half, and most of them well. I don't know why, but this really depresses me. I think it's just because I realize how little people actually like me. I thought I was being friendly and building strong relationships, but I guess I'm just that fly on the wall that no one actually considers. It's today and I texted the girl again just with small talk, and she doesn't respond frequently, and it makes me feel terrible because I feel like a failure utterly and totally.
I was in the sky happy when she said yes, I just felt like I was on the top of the world. I was jazzed up and felt pretty suave, like I could pursue life in a new fashion. I thought it was ok that she had no time, after all one of the things she has to do this weekend is pretty serious (say goodbye to some friends forever), and I wasn't going to impose on her, but I just don't want her 'forgetting about me', if that makes sense.

I got somewhere, took a step toward maturity and success, but the longer it goes without her responding the more it makes me feel like I screwed up, like I did something wrong, like I failed. I've been told my whole life that I'm destined for great things/I'm a genius/etc, but all of that is meaningless if I'm a miserable, lonely, depressed social outcast.

I just don't want this to be another chapter of failure in my life. I want this to go somewhere, to mean something, and I just want to feel the affection from another person again. I used to cherish knowing that someone liked me enough to be with me of their own free will, but with no girlfriend I don't have that feeling anymore. I just want to feel someone's embrace, someone's affection, and it seems like every time I get near it I fumble and it slips away, and this has left me back here, unable to do anything, not even cry. The only thing I'm able to do now is tell my fellows here on revleft about my perils, and be mocked for my pathetic, cliched story.

Know how you feel man. It sucks more than anything in the world. I posted in the last thread about a girl and I'm in exactly your situation. I know what you mean when you say you realize how little friends you have. After getting flatly rejected and called a creeper, I realized that I couldn't feel a damn thing anymore. It's like I'm numb to my own feelings. Actually it's not "like" that. It IS that. She was the only thing I could feel anymore and it drove me crazy because that was preventing me from making friends. Girls like that really show you who your friends are. Sometimes, like our times, they show you you don't have any. I feel so cold around people and when I'm alone I hate myself for it. I haven't been outside once the whole summer except the 4th of July. Then I saw a picture of her frolicking on the beach. I thought "how is it possible that she can be happy knowing that she does this? She destroys people because she's too perfect for anyone." Seeing her run around on the beach at sunset with her friends while I was sitting at home watching American History X with my goddamn parents really told me how sad my life is.

If she doesn't have time, chances are she's not exactly forgetting about you, she just doesn't have time. And the worst thing you could do is get on her ass about it. so don't do that. I don't know what else to tell you because, well, I have the same problem.

[Os Cangaceiros]

Today the criminal justice system continued to fuck me. I've been told that I have to attend an "intensive drug outpatient course" for six weeks, and another course after that! This in addition to AA/NA meetings that I'm embarrased to be at, because I sit in a room with people who have serious drug and alcohol problems while my grave offense against society was getting caught with a couple grams of hash.

That also means that I'm going to miss the fishing season, my sole source of income, and I'm almost broke. I still have to pay rent, insurance and my probation fees, and they won't let me go back to my home state so I can make a living. In addition to that, one of the few friends I have in this city is leaving soon. Today was not a good day for me...I feel miserable.

[Ele'ill]

Today the criminal justice system continued to fuck me. I've been told that I have to attend an "intensive drug outpatient course" for six weeks, and another course after that! This in addition to AA/NA meetings that I'm embarrased to be at, because I sit in a room with people who have serious drug and alcohol problems while my grave offense against society was getting caught with a couple grams of hash.

That also means that I'm going to miss the fishing season, my sole source of income, and I'm almost broke. I still have to pay rent, insurance and my probation fees, and they won't let me go back to my home state so I can make a living. In addition to that, one of the few friends I have in this city is leaving soon. Today was not a good day for me...I feel miserable.

Best of luck to you. Maybe you being in the classes will change some people's lives around- you know it only takes one sentence.

There must be a work around for that- they can't deny you income- you'll end up homeless. Write some letters detailing your story- then start making some noise.

[mykittyhasaboner]

Today the criminal justice system continued to fuck me. I've been told that I have to attend an "intensive drug outpatient course" for six weeks, and another course after that! This in addition to AA/NA meetings that I'm embarrased to be at, because I sit in a room with people who have serious drug and alcohol problems while my grave offense against society was getting caught with a couple grams of hash.

That also means that I'm going to miss the fishing season, my sole source of income, and I'm almost broke. I still have to pay rent, insurance and my probation fees, and they won't let me go back to my home state so I can make a living. In addition to that, one of the few friends I have in this city is leaving soon. Today was not a good day for me...I feel miserable.

That's pretty terrible man, I know there isn't much one can write over the internet for condolences but I empathize with you greatly.

I second what Mariel mentioned. If you annoy enough people in the right places you might be able to work your situation out. I would try, especially if this is getting in the way of your work.

[Ele'ill]

Here's to relatives dying and the realization that it isn't the past they're dragging away with them it's the sudden forcible pull back in time. A riptide of nostalgia that sucks you under and shows you every smile, every sound, every seasonal joy that are the little tangible building blocks of who you are.

Normally I enjoy a couple beers every so often but tonight I'm going to take to bourbon and dance the wake over the coals of morning.


Here's the light hearted version

Here's to relatives passing away and the realization that you didn't know them well enough to allocate funds to fly to their funeral but you plan to visit their grave in the winter when it would be more ideal to feel good being depressed as every snowflake is a romantic single on christmas eve. Equally important is the cold air that can help numb the fact that she was your mother. It isn't the past that's gone it's the reoccuring images of verbal abuse and manic depression- police visits in the middle of the night and jail time for domestic battery- this isn't a complaint as the house would be empty leaving plenty of time for music and escapades into the liquor cabinet. The memories the love one leaves behind are less like a riptide and more along the lines of the obese kid that cannon balls into the pool behind you as you have your back turned. It's loud- there's laughter- people are glad and ultimately you get sucked under and if you're lucky you'll still have your pants on when you resurface.




Ok seriously today sucks and I don't actually work at a place- This also isn't an example of my writing- so in advance piss off to your superiority complexes. :thumbup1:

[Ele'ill]

Fuck the day.

[¿Que?]

A riptide of nostalgia that sucks you under and shows you every smile, every sound, every seasonal joy that are the little tangible building blocks of who you are.
Actually, I kind of liked this line. Although, technically it's not a complete sentence. Hope you feel better!

[Ele'ill]

Actually, I kind of liked this line. Although, technically it's not a complete sentence. Hope you feel better!


Thanks. Poetry doesn't need complete sentences and I literally wrote those two paragraphs or so in about a minute. I had written something and gotten up to go do something and when I came back I forgot what I had been doing but felt obligated to finish it albeit quickly.

Perhaps I'll post some of my stuff here some day although it would have to be the copyrighted stuff and linked to the publisher so none of the heathens on this site get any ideas.


By the way- I think that the OP of this thread (or the first post) should indicate that listening to Aesop Rock makes most everything better. Now if I were reading Calvin and Hobbes while listening to Aesop Rock I would be completely fine.

[¿Que?]

Thanks. Poetry doesn't need complete sentences and I literally wrote those two paragraphs or so in about a minute. I had written something and gotten up to go do something and when I came back I forgot what I had been doing but felt obligated to finish it albeit quickly.

Perhaps I'll post some of my stuff here some day although it would have to be the copyrighted stuff and linked to the publisher so none of the heathens on this site get any ideas.


By the way- I think that the OP of this thread (or the first post) should indicate that listening to Aesop Rock makes most everything better. Now if I were reading Calvin and Hobbes while listening to Aesop Rock I would be completely fine.
Meh, I've always had a fondness for El-P, myself. Although I did get to shake Aesop Rock's hand last time played a show here. He seemed more interested in the numerous young women trying to get autographs, though.

[Ele'ill]

I dislike EL-P's lyrics and I don't think the beats behind it fit. I think Aesop Rock's lyrics are absolutely fucking brilliant. Maybe I'm being a snob as I write for a living and went to school for it (meh).

I like a few of EL-P's songs.

[superborys]

Know how you feel man. It sucks more than anything in the world. I posted in the last thread about a girl and I'm in exactly your situation. I know what you mean when you say you realize how little friends you have. After getting flatly rejected and called a creeper, I realized that I couldn't feel a damn thing anymore. It's like I'm numb to my own feelings. Actually it's not "like" that. It IS that. She was the only thing I could feel anymore and it drove me crazy because that was preventing me from making friends. Girls like that really show you who your friends are. Sometimes, like our times, they show you you don't have any. I feel so cold around people and when I'm alone I hate myself for it. I haven't been outside once the whole summer except the 4th of July. Then I saw a picture of her frolicking on the beach. I thought "how is it possible that she can be happy knowing that she does this? She destroys people because she's too perfect for anyone." Seeing her run around on the beach at sunset with her friends while I was sitting at home watching American History X with my goddamn parents really told me how sad my life is.

If she doesn't have time, chances are she's not exactly forgetting about you, she just doesn't have time. And the worst thing you could do is get on her ass about it. so don't do that. I don't know what else to tell you because, well, I have the same problem.


Yeah well then about the last part of your post, you'll love this. Evidently she didn't know that I didn't know that she meant a date, because she thought by now everyone knew that she wasn't allowed to date until her senior year.

So I may not even have been an interest in her eyes... Seems like the puzzle of romance is one that I just cannot solve.

[¿Que?]

I dislike EL-P's lyrics and I don't think the beats behind it fit. I think Aesop Rock's lyrics are absolutely fucking brilliant. Maybe I'm being a snob as I write for a living and went to school for it (meh).

I like a few of EL-P's songs.
Well, I'll admit, El-P is hit or miss, but then so is a lot of Aesop Rock. Of course the only album I'm really familiar with by AR is Bazooka Tooth.

With regard to El-P, to me it seems like he's the only one capable of doing his beats any justice. He's always got sort of a noisy syncopated thing going which I'd imagine is difficult to rhyme over in a standard boom bap way.

I'd recommend the following songs: Most anything early with company flow (before he hooked up with Aesop Rock). A few songs from fantastic damage, like Deep Space 9mm, Dealorean and Dead Disnee. Some of the singles he put out with other acts, such as Vision of Art with DJ Krush, Simian D with Ill Bill, Ridiculoid with Cannibal OX, D.P.A., and a few songs off of I'll Sleep When your dead, or rather I should say, just one EMG. Most of his new stuff sucks and it's not worth listening to.

Oh yeah, and Patriotism is a good song too.

[Ele'ill]

You should check out Aesop Rock's newer stuff- I don't care for his older stuff all that much.

Start with the songs 'daylight' and 'pigs'.

[¿Que?]

You should check out Aesop Rock's newer stuff- I don't care for his older stuff all that much.

Start with the songs 'daylight' and 'pigs'.
Yes, I've heard 'daylight.' Isn't that sort of an older track though. I'm almost certain it predates Bazooka Tooth.

[Jazzhands]

Yeah well then about the last part of your post, you'll love this. Evidently she didn't know that I didn't know that she meant a date, because she thought by now everyone knew that she wasn't allowed to date until her senior year.

So I may not even have been an interest in her eyes... Seems like the puzzle of romance is one that I just cannot solve.

:blink:wow. that really really sucks. she's not allowed to date until senior year?? good christ, that's awful. reactionary parents, right? I would try quietly slipping some Bakunin lines on God to her. It's probably for religious reasons, so convince her to renounce her religion.

[Chambered Word]

:blink:wow. that really really sucks. she's not allowed to date until senior year?? good christ, that's awful. reactionary parents, right? I would try quietly slipping some Bakunin lines on God to her. It's probably for religious reasons, so convince her to renounce her religion.

I'm not sure that's a good idea, unless you can do it without alienating her.

[Nwoye]

Yeah well then about the last part of your post, you'll love this. Evidently she didn't know that I didn't know that she meant a date, because she thought by now everyone knew that she wasn't allowed to date until her senior year.

So I may not even have been an interest in her eyes... Seems like the puzzle of romance is one that I just cannot solve.
she's definitely lying.

[leftace53]

I'm still not allowed to date...:blink:

[superborys]

she's definitely lying.

she's very ubiquitously known for not lying, and i have confirmed this with other people, and the people i've talked to have all said that she's not allowed to date, which either means that she doesn't WANT to date until she's a senior, or she's actually not allowed to.

either way is fine with me, it's a personal choice and trying to force something this personal is asking for failure.

[Ele'ill]

Yes, I've heard 'daylight.' Isn't that sort of an older track though. I'm almost certain it predates Bazooka Tooth.


There are two songs titled 'daylight'. The older one I don't care for- the newer one off his album that has the sunset looking background is decent.


I'll post some decent stuff in the 'what are you listening to' thread.

[Adi Shankara]

I absolutely love my girl but I feel the need and urge to sleep with every girl I see who passes by me...I have a real find with me right now and am afraid I'll throw her away, and so far have remained monogamous (though we had a threesome finally not too long ago, I was very nervous about the whole idea) but I'm constantly having to remind myself that my girl loves me and I can't just push her away because she's getting close to me. I need to constantly tell myself that she is the only kind of her in the entire world and I'm not going to find another one like her.

I hate getting hit on but at the same time I put myself into situations where I find myself getting it all the time. my Srey (not a name) gets turned on by me being with other women (or at least the idea of it since we've never explored that route yet; a feminine form of cuckoldry?) but I don't want to do it and find out she doesn't love me anymore that would kill me and send me into instability through depression.

I love my srey saa'th =/

[bailey_187]

I absolutely love my girl but I feel the need and urge to sleep with every girl I see who passes by me...I have a real find with me right now and am afraid I'll throw her away, and so far have remained monogamous (though we had a threesome finally not too long ago, I was very nervous about the whole idea) but I'm constantly having to remind myself that my girl loves me and I can't just push her away because she's getting close to me. I need to constantly tell myself that she is the only kind of her in the entire world and I'm not going to find another one like her.

I love my srey saa'th =/

she said i was better

(just saying)

[Adi Shankara]

she said i was better

(just saying)

http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u134/Ryomalol/Random%20Stuff/trollface.png

[Taikand]

I feel embarassed because I have no drugs or alcohol problems (I don't drink alcohol at all) , I wear common clothes, I have no tattoos or piercing, I wear common clothes , but I still see myself as an extreme leftist.

[leftace53]

I feel embarassed because I have no drugs or alcohol problems (I don't drink alcohol at all) , I wear common clothes, I have no tattoos or piercing, I wear common clothes , but I still see myself as an extreme leftist.

You must confuse liberals. :thumbup1:

[Jazzratt]

I feel embarassed because I have no drugs or alcohol problems (I don't drink alcohol at all) , I wear common clothes, I have no tattoos or piercing, I wear common clothes , but I still see myself as an extreme leftist. If you don't drink alcohol you have a problem, to my mind.

[Ele'ill]

I feel embarassed because I have no drugs or alcohol problems (I don't drink alcohol at all) , I wear common clothes, I have no tattoos or piercing, I wear common clothes , but I still see myself as an extreme leftist.

Does it get hot wearing two layers of common clothes?

[leftace53]

my parents always complain that they come home from work and have to make dinner and they're so tired all the time etc..., so I made them a nice full meal of sushi and iced green tea. My dad would apparently rather watch WWE, and who the hell knows where my mother is, and my grandmother would rather eat a piece of bread. So I ate dinner alone, suits me for trying to make my dysfunctional family a bit more functional.

My first attempt at making sushi went pretty well though.

[Ele'ill]

my parents always complain that they come home from work and have to make dinner and they're so tired all the time etc..., so I made them a nice full meal of sushi and iced green tea. My dad would apparently rather watch WWE, and who the hell knows where my mother is, and my grandmother would rather eat a piece of bread. So I ate dinner alone, suits me for trying to make my dysfunctional family a bit more functional.

My first attempt at making sushi went pretty well though.

Just keep making them dinner.

[Mälli]

I've been together with my girlfriend for 3 years and 4 months or something like that. For the past 5 months and specially this month we have had a problem with everything related to sex.

The problem is that my girlfriend never wants to have sex and says she "doesn't want to please me in any way sexually".
I am still attracted to her and its hard to be with her 'cause all we talk about is sexsexsex and we allways come to a conclusion that she is afraid of everything having to do with sex. Then she becomes hysteric and i cant reason with her.

I think the problem has began from her having sex with me when she didn't want to. This has happened a long time ago and I have had no clue about this.
I have done all I can not to be dominative but I think shes afraid of me in some way.

I feel so fucking bad and I want this to just go away. What should I do?

[Taikand]

my parents always complain that they come home from work and have to make dinner and they're so tired all the time etc..., so I made them a nice full meal of sushi and iced green tea. My dad would apparently rather watch WWE, and who the hell knows where my mother is, and my grandmother would rather eat a piece of bread. So I ate dinner alone, suits me for trying to make my dysfunctional family a bit more functional.

My first attempt at making sushi went pretty well though.

Wait, all this cause they don't allow you to date?
What all this fuss about dates, after all?
EDIT: Am I an weirdo cause I really like this place?
http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/mountainsp11.jpg

[leftace53]

Wait, all this cause they don't allow you to date?
What all this fuss about dates, after all?
EDIT: Am I an weirdo cause I really like this place?


Lol, oh no no, they were unrelated statements :P

[Andrei Kuznetsov]

Great.

My ex-girlfriend- the hottest woman I've ever dated and one I have a lot in common with- likes me again, but she doesn't want to leave her boyfriend, and I'm not about to be the homewrecking asshole.

FML

[Il Medico]

I'm still not allowed to date...:blink:
Your parents don't let you date? What is this, the 19th century?

[Andrei Kuznetsov]

zXt56MB-3vc

This song is completely relevant to my situation.

[gorillafuck]

I'm still not allowed to date...:blink:
That's really weird.

How old are you?

[Aloysius]

Damn nostalgic dreams.

:crying:
Seriously.
I remember a dream I had a few weeks ago.
I was at this summer-camp type thing and they had this giant inflatable cliff that you could BASE jump off of. Unfortunately, I woke up before I could jump and I didn't see what happened. I had the gear on and everything.

[leftace53]

That's really weird.

How old are you?
19


Your parents don't let you date? What is this, the 19th century?
yes

:lol:

They are center right immigrant parents from India with strong cultural ties. They don't want me dating until I finish school (which with my plans of a phd, will be a while), and they don't believe in sex before marriage. While they don't allow such activities, I cannot say I have respected their rules. I'm sure they know it, but as I technically don't live with them anymore, and just chillin here for the summer, they tend to avoid the subject, or give me the "I'm dissapointed in you" look if it ever comes up.

[gorillafuck]

How are you not allowed to date when you're 19? Having your parents not let you date is pretty nuts in itself, but at 19? That's fucking nuts.

[Pretty Flaco]

My parents walked in on me making out with an ex girlfriend when I was 14.
yeah...

[leftace53]

How are you not allowed to date when you're 19? Having your parents not let you date is pretty nuts in itself, but at 19? That's fucking nuts.

I think they are in denial at this point, I'm sure they know I date, but they have strong cultural ties to brown landia, and supposedly people there don't date :blink:


My parents walked in on me making out with an ex girlfriend when I was 14.
yeah...

Mine almost walked in on me having sex about 3 years ago. I couldn't have sex for like two weeks afterwards I was so spooked.

[gorillafuck]

Dating you can't do but sex is a-okay.

[Aloysius]

I should not pour my heart out drunk.
I think that's actually one of the better times to do that.
You might tend to rabble but at least you can get something off your chest.

[leftace53]

Dating you can't do but sex is a-okay.

Thats always been my motto :lol::lol:

[Pretty Flaco]

Dating you can't do but sex is a-okay.
That's how it's done!

[gorillafuck]

Sex can wait, procrastinate!

Am I doing it right?

[Aloysius]

So I've been in love with the same girl for about 4 years. We went out for a little bit, then she dumped me. We only recently reconnected, and I'm not sure what's happening between us.
The sad thing is, she know I love her, yet she keep playing with my feelings and all that shit.
I know it doesn't really compare to a lot of you guys' stories, but dammit I'm so alone right now...

[leftace53]

I'm so alone right now...
Socialist hotline? :lol:

Joking aside, if she is playing with your feelings, evaluate why you love her and to what extent. Talk to her about it. Remember that regardless of how much you love her, you have to love yourself too, and if she treats you as shit then be prepared to cut your losses.

[Aloysius]

Socialist hotline? :lol:

Joking aside, if she is playing with your feelings, evaluate why you love her and to what extent. Talk to her about it. Remember that regardless of how much you love her, you have to love yourself too, and if she treats you as shit then be prepared to cut your losses.
I think we really need one of those...
I think we (me and her) need to shit or get off the pot.
And if she rejects me...well...
"I've seen way too much to let my heart break."
It's going to be hard to get over her, though.
At least I have all of you guys.
:D

[Il Medico]

Thats always been my motto :lol::lol:
Good plan.

[Aloysius]

So I told I love her, always have/will. She said she "really likes" me and only broke up with me because her older sister told her to. I ask her why we aren't together now and she says she's with someone else. She also says she hates hurting people. I said it's bit too late for that, that I love her and that I regret nothing.

[Quail]

I think that's actually one of the better times to do that.
You might tend to rabble but at least you can get something off your chest.
True, but there are people on here that know me in the real world and I don't want to sound like a massive whiner ha. I also tend to pour out all the stuff I don't want people to know when I've been drinking.

[Bright Banana Beard]

I find it easy to hate people than to love people.

[Aloysius]

Trust me, you're not the only one.
Don't be tempted by the Dark Side!

[Aloysius]

I seriously hate myself right now.
The girl I was talking about doesn't even want to talk to me.
It's to be expected, of course. I am an ass.

[Ele'ill]

I seriously hate myself right now.
The girl I was talking about doesn't even want to talk to me.
It's to be expected, of course. I am an ass.

So no problem?

[call5074610962]

hey im new to this forms but could you all do me a favor and call 1507 461 0962 please because they wont stop texting me and it is getting very annoying please call thank you

[Chambered Word]

I seriously hate myself right now.
The girl I was talking about doesn't even want to talk to me.
It's to be expected, of course. I am an ass.

I read some of your other posts, actually. Didn't you say she left you because her older sister told her to? Stop blaming yourself comrade, I think she's probably a total waste of time.


hey im new to this forms but could you all do me a favor and call 1507 461 0962 please because they wont stop texting me and it is getting very annoying please call thank you

This looks dodgy as fuck. :bored:

[Aloysius]

So no problem?
I guess so. What happens now is up to her.

[explosive toaster]

I'm scared to go back to college. A couple of months ago I was sexually assaulted by a girl that's going to the same college I go to (she's a year younger so I doubt we'll be in any classes together). A really close friend of mine that goes to this college, too, is also a really close friend of hers and ended up not believing me when I told her about the incident. So now this is weighing incredibly heavily on my mind. I'm terrified about what could happen (like the girl telling all my college friends that I lied about her raping me or getting beat up by her or even just seeing her) and it's on my mind way too much. I have dreams about going to school, seeing her somewhere, and either apologizing to her with everything being cool somehow (which I wouldn't do. I have nothing to apologize for.) or having something horrible happen to me.

I wish I didn't have to deal with this. :bored: And no, changing schools isn't really an option. It's either way too expensive or I'd be living with my parents which, though I love them dearly, would drive me crazy and would take away from the freedom I enjoy at this far away college.

(Sorry if that was kind of ramble-y. I have to let this out somewhere and telling my friends isn't really an option.)

[Aloysius]

As much as I hate to say it, you may have to go to the police, or at least tell one of your professors or something.
Rape is something that I just cannot stand.
If you can't go to the pigs or can't tell a supervisor or whatever, talk to someone that isn't entirely aware of the situation for an opinion or something.
If you can't bear to do that, kill the *****. I'm kidding. But really. She probably deserves it.

[Aloysius]

On a different note, that girl I was telling you all about?
She fucking asked me out. I told her I wasn't sure, she said she would wait.
I think I'm going to make her wait.

[Andrei Kuznetsov]

0Qglfipx7I8

Only the ***LEPP*** really understands the heart-rending bullshit I'm goin' through, bros.

[Aurora]

Comrade explosive toaster,i notice you live in south dakota i found this list of crisis center's which i hope could be some use to you http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/states/sddv.shtml please consider calling one of them or a similar group they could probably give you advice and help better than anyone on this site.

[explosive toaster]

As much as I hate to say it, you may have to go to the police, or at least tell one of your professors or something.
Rape is something that I just cannot stand.
If you can't go to the pigs or can't tell a supervisor or whatever, talk to someone that isn't entirely aware of the situation for an opinion or something.
If you can't bear to do that, kill the *****. I'm kidding. But really. She probably deserves it.
I went to the cops, but they ended up not doing anything. Really ended up making the situation worse for me, because mutual friend ended up telling this girl and her mom that I called them. I'm still pretty pissed about that.
It's really terrible, but I halfway hope she tries to beat me up or something so that I'll have some good solid proof that will send her to jail. The month or whatever of jail time would almost be up there with killing her for me. :lol:

Good luck with that girl, by the way. Hope she stops being so wishy-washy if you end up going with her. Don't let her play you, bro!


Comrade explosive toaster,i notice you live in south dakota i found this list of crisis center's which i hope could be some use to you [link] please consider calling one of them or a similar group they could probably give you advice and help better than anyone on this site.
Thanks for the link. I went to WAVI a little bit after it happened and they were really, really helpful. I've been in counseling for it, too, but it was kinda useless tbh because the counselor and I didn't really click. I think I'm going to utilize my school's free counseling services when I go back and hope they'll be better.

Thanks for the support/advice, guys. :) I know I'll be able to get through this once I get there, it's just the anticipation that's killing me right now.

[Aloysius]

Metaphor: It's like you're about to go on a zipline over a ravine and your shoe's untied. You're not sure what's gonna happen to the shoe as you cross, but you're pretty sure you'll make it across alive.

[Chambered Word]

I went to the cops, but they ended up not doing anything. Really ended up making the situation worse for me, because mutual friend ended up telling this girl and her mom that I called them. I'm still pretty pissed about that.
It's really terrible, but I halfway hope she tries to beat me up or something so that I'll have some good solid proof that will send her to jail. The month or whatever of jail time would almost be up there with killing her for me. :lol:


Let me guess, the fucking pigs just laughed at you?

If you want justice, beat the shit out of her. I guarantee neither the police nor the school are going to do anything about it. I wish you luck with counselling, that must be pretty damn tough to go through...

[Aloysius]

If that mutual friend keeps fucking shit up for you, maybe it'd be wise to sever ties with them.

[Chambered Word]

I guarantee neither the police nor the school are going to do anything about it.

For the record I was talking about the actual rape, not you beating the shit out of her.

[Bright Banana Beard]

Seriously, there is no real life comrade to hang out with in this town. I need some pity.

[Aloysius]

Let's wallow in pity together, comrade. I don't know of any or anrchists 'round here, either. Well, there's one guy, but his parents were brainwashed by McCarthy, and his IQ is probably double my own.

[explosive toaster]

Metaphor: It's like you're about to go on a zipline over a ravine and your shoe's untied. You're not sure what's gonna happen to the shoe as you cross, but you're pretty sure you'll make it across alive.

Yeah, basically. It feels like the shoe is going to burst into flames and consume me with deathly fire before I can get to the end, but I know that's an irrational fear... probably.

I've really been thinking about cutting ties with the mutual friend. We've been gradually drifting apart anyway, so it wouldn't be too hard.


Let me guess, the fucking pigs just laughed at you?

If you want justice, beat the shit out of her. I guarantee neither the police nor the school are going to do anything about it. I wish you luck with counselling, that must be pretty damn tough to go through...

Yeah, pretty much. I wasn't really expecting the cops to do anything in the first place. I'm also too timid to take things into my own hands because she scares me(she's this big, moody, burly girl who weighs twice as much as I do) and I don't think I could touch her again without throwing up, even if it was with my fists. At this point, I'm just hoping for some kind of poetic justice. ''Rapistgirl's (theoretical future) girlfriend dumped her because she's controlling and a bit crazy. Who woulda thunk!''

Thank you for your kind words, comrade.

[Mindtoaster]

I haven't read anything in this thread, but I just woke up at 2:30 AM with a fucking wolf spider crawling into my arm pit.

Your problems pale in the face of mine

[Chambered Word]

Yeah, pretty much. I wasn't really expecting the cops to do anything in the first place. I'm also too timid to take things into my own hands because she scares me(she's this big, moody, burly girl who weighs twice as much as I do) and I don't think I could touch her again without throwing up, even if it was with my fists. At this point, I'm just hoping for some kind of poetic justice. ''Rapistgirl's (theoretical future) girlfriend dumped her because she's controlling and a bit crazy. Who woulda thunk!''

Thank you for your kind words, comrade.

No problem, we're always here to talk to. :)

This girl sounds bloody fearsome, I know one who sounds like that in my year, although I can't exactly picture her raping men.

On a better note I gained 4 kilos in the past couple of weeks from pushups, chinups and bicycle-leg crunches. I'm pretty happy with that (about 58kg now, trying to hit 70kg within the next month or two) but I wonder if I could be gaining more. :confused:

[Aloysius]

I can't do regular pushups anymore. Usually no more than ten...
But I can do pushups if the lower half of my body is on the couch. Then I can do, like, thirty.
I can't do chin-ups either. I get halfway and I'm gone...
I need to lose weight, if only for my own good.

[the last donut of the night]

shit's rough

[Bright Banana Beard]

I realized nobody care about me and I want some lovely cuddle. :( I'm hurted.

[Chimurenga.]

Alcohol is becoming the only good thing in my life. I don't know why I wake up and get out of bed anymore. I don't know why I went and got a new cell phone recently. I don't know why I think the people near me will care about anything other than bullshit. I want to move but I can't. I have an obligation here and no matter how many times people let me down, I need to fulfill that obligation.

[Aloysius]

I've always thought that man has no obligation but to himself. Anyway, you always have us, but I'm not sure that's something good...

[leftace53]

The weirdest things make me emotional, I was reading Copernicus' wikipedia entry, and what brought a tear to my eye was that his headstone for his grave has a diagram of his heliocentric discovery.

[Il Medico]

I haven't read anything in this thread, but I just woke up at 2:30 AM with a fucking wolf spider crawling into my arm pit.

Your problems pale in the face of mine
I'd be scared shitless if i found one of these crawling on my arm.
http://www.dreslough.com/main/bandw/Nov2005/WolfSpider1.jpg

[The Red Next Door]

I am afraid to be an adult.

[Aloysius]

Same here, man.
I am not ready for the real world.

[leftace53]

Adulthood is not ready for me. :redstar2000:

The wolf spider made me shit a brick.

[Bright Banana Beard]

I wanna be with RAAN and breaks shit up.

[Quail]

I always pour my heart out when I've been drinking. I must be a depressing person to be around.

[The Feral Underclass]

Kayl. Check out the HALO thread. Me and Wolfie have come to a financial arrangement.

[Quail]

Nobody is selling any children!

[The Feral Underclass]

Spoil sport!

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

I always pour my heart out when I've been drinking. I must be a depressing person to be around.

Thats not true, theres nothing wrong with telling people what's upsetting you, that way people can help, for example, hitler wrote Mein Kampf, about how much the jews were upsetting him, and then there is an implicit joke.

And why can't I sell children?

[Quail]

Because my child is just too damn cute to sell!

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Because my child is just too damn cute to sell!

He is, I think I'll go cuddle him in a non-sexual way.

[Bold added for Thomas Sankara]

He's half mine too!

[The Feral Underclass]

Are cuddles ever non-sexual?

Discuss.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

Are cuddles ever non-sexual?

Discuss.

Yes.

Discussion over.

[leftace53]

Why are people I know pregnant (and happy about it), and engaged/married? I didn't think I was old enough to have to congratulate people on babies and marriages. :crying:

[mollymae]

Why are people I know pregnant (and happy about it), and engaged/married? I didn't think I was old enough to have to congratulate people on babies and marriages. :crying:

I feel the same way. Actually, I know a girl my age (18, or she could be 19 now) who has already been married and divorced.

[leftace53]

I feel the same way. Actually, I know a girl my age (18, or she could be 19 now) who has already been married and divorced.

wow, I can imagine this as the consequence of a crazy night in like Vegas or something, but wow.

[Comrade Wolfie's Very Nearly Banned Adventures]

I feel the same way. Actually, I know a girl my age (18, or she could be 19 now) who has already been married and divorced.

Mind. Blown.

[mollymae]

wow, I can imagine this as the consequence of a crazy night in like Vegas or something, but wow.

Nah, I guess she married her somewhat-long-term boyfriend, and then he went on deployment to Iraq and cheated on her, which she found out by hacking into his email account.

Meh. Whatever.

[NecroCommie]

That is what you get when you get into a committed relationship.

[Aloysius]

Tru dat, sir.
A little update on my own "plight": You know how that girl said she would wait? She waited a week. I said yes, and she said I was too slow. She had gotten back together with her girlfriend (yes, she's bisexual. I felt like Holden McNeil from Chasing Amy) I waited 4 god damn years, and she waits a week. Needless to say, I'm done with her. I'm not going to waste my time with a "person" like that.

[leftace53]

Ugh why do I have such horrible body image now, when did I become a gnome? :crying::crying:

[Steve_j]

Ugh why do I have such horrible body image now, when did I become a gnome? :crying::crying:

Dont mean to be a dick but it might have been around the time when you started letting commercialised standards of beauty affect the way you view yourself.

[leftace53]

Dont mean to be a dick but it might have been around the time when you started letting commercialised standards of beauty affect the way you view yourself.

Well duh, I guess I mean why do I care all of a sudden.

[NecroCommie]

Gnomes are epic! Go LARP a sorcerer!

[Aloysius]

Hey, I LARP!
It's actually a lot of fun. I'm a wizard.

[Kuppo Shakur]

Paradox: Almost everyone I know, including myself, is suicidal, yet possesses a rock-solid will to live.

[Bright Banana Beard]

Paradox: Almost everyone I know, including myself, is suicidal, yet possesses a rock-solid will to live.

I also possess this mentality.

[#FF0000]

Paradox: Almost everyone I know, including myself, is suicidal, yet possesses a rock-solid will to live.

I have a friend who's had bouts of suicidal thoughts, but it's because life doesn't live up to his standards.

I remember I gave him the Myth of Sisyphus to read a long time ago when he was having an existential crisis, which was fucking stupid, in hindsight.

[NecroCommie]

I have a billion games and nothing to do. Life is sad. This is proven by the fact that I am here complaining about it!

Why can't people be interesting? :confused:

[Aloysius]

I feel the same way. I'm sitting here at the computer, trying to figure out what I could do. I have a pretty good internet connection and I can go to all types of sites, but lately, it's just been RevLeft, Facebook, ArcadePreHacks, and Hallow's Edge,, and I'm banned on the forums there...




Sisyphus was an asshole.

[tbasherizer]

We shouldn't be bored with our lives, if we're revolutionary leftists and not armchair(computer chair) anarchists! Start a community garden! Read some Marx, Bakunin, or whoever else gets you off in that way! Smash some fascists! Get stuff done!

I often feel the negative opposite of bored with life, as though I'm not doing enough or using its great potential to the fullest. Then I realize I've got schoolwork to do.

[NecroCommie]

The next activity of the local communist youth is on wednesday, I just can't bother myself with more reading, and all in all everything seems to be on halt on sundays. Including possible target practice aka. fascists.

[Aloysius]

I wish I had a gun...Or the balls to go to high school...Both would be awesome.

[Kuppo Shakur]

Columbine?:(

[Aloysius]

No, I have no reason to do anything like that...

[Invader Zim]

Yes.

Discussion over.

Cuddles or hugs?

[Ele'ill]

I was going to create a thread but meh

I'm starting a petition to make (through popular opinion and no force used) leftace53 change their avatar image to something less idiotic/infuriating.

That's it :)

[leftace53]

I was going to create a thread but meh

I'm starting a petition to make (through popular opinion and no force used) leftace53 change their avatar image to something less idiotic/infuriating.

That's it :)
:crying::crying::crying::crying::crying:
What is wrong with cheesy?

I must conclude that you are either lactose intolerant, or a vegan.

[Aloysius]

Possibly both, but I freaking love cheese.

[Ele'ill]

:crying::crying::crying::crying::crying:
What is wrong with cheesy?

I must conclude that you are either lactose intolerant, or a vegan.

no no no, It has to do with the perpetual 'smile' on its face and the freakishly weird mouth gasping. :lol:

[Aloysius]

It is pretty strange...

[Salyut]

I'm going back to university in two weeks*, and I'm terrified that I can't write an essay to save my life. The prof is supposed to be a really hard marker too. :(

*started in Ontario in 08 but then I got sick and had to leave...

[leftace53]

no no no, It has to do with the perpetual 'smile' on its face and the freakishly weird mouth gasping. :lol:
Lol, I will try to find another avatar that is just as silly but not as weird then :)

As for pouring my heart out like a container of melted butter:
I really have to stop dating friends. It ends up in relationships that I never want, then I tell them I'm not comfortable in monogomous relationships, and they sever all ties with me, then I'm down a friend (or 5 or 7).

I hate getting woken up by the alarm at my parents' house.

[Il Medico]

Lol, I will try to find another avatar that is just as silly but not as weird then :) Don't change you avatar. I find the stupid thing cute. ( don't know why)


As for pouring my heart out like a container of melted butter:
I really have to stop dating friends. It ends up in relationships that I never want, then I tell them I'm not comfortable in monogomous relationships, and they sever all ties with me, then I'm down a friend (or 5 or 7).


I am not a big fan of monogamy either tbh, but I tend to see it as my partner's choice. If they're comfortable with it (an open relationship), fine, if not, then also fine.

[leftace53]

Don't change you avatar. I find the stupid thing cute. ( don't know why)
.

I'll try this new one for a week, and see the results :)

[Il Medico]

I'll try this new one for a week, and see the results :)
Result #1: I hate it.

Continue your testing....

[leftace53]

Result #1: I hate it.

Continue your testing....
I'm leaning toward the cheese myself.

On another note, I wonder when my thumb x rays come in.

EDIT: I brought the cheese back, the duck was too much to handle.

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese.:)

[Quail]

To actually pour my heart out, there are a lot of comrades I'd have to pretend didn't matter, and I can't do that. Therefore, I should keep everything to myself.

[leftace53]

Eat Pray Love made me want to eat a lot, pray even less than I do now (i don't think thats possible), and give love the boot - I call it an i-knew-what-you-were-going-to-say kind of movie :lol:

woops, that should have probably gone in say what you want, oh well

[John "Eh" MacDonald]

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese.:)

I got to stop drunk posting.

[Invader Zim]

I'm going back to university in two weeks*, and I'm terrified that I can't write an essay to save my life. The prof is supposed to be a really hard marker too. :(

*started in Ontario in 08 but then I got sick and had to leave...

Writing essays is piss easy, all it requires is a little thought and planning before you start. Know what you're arguments are, what you are going to say, and where you are going to say it, to the paragraph, before you write a line of the actual essay. Break individual points down into target word counts - that way you if you have a habit of rambling you will be kept concise, and if the opposite is your problem then it sets you an achievable target.

Incidentally, this isn't just true of essays, it works for dissertation (i've written both 12,000 and 20,000 length ones) as well as far more substancial projects such as a PhD thesis. It is all about breaking the piece down into its component parts, and then breaking those parts down into their component paragraphs, and if need be into component sentences.

I hope that helps.

[Aloysius]

Index cards help a lot.
Just sayin'.

[leftace53]

I'm procrastinating like crazy from packing my shit, buying booze, and paying tuition. This is why I am on revleft all the time. I feel like if I do nothing, I'm wasting my time, but if I'm on the internet fiddling around, then atleast I'm doing something.

[mikelepore]

This thing I saved from the newsgroups was so funny!!!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Sex spam or 'Atlas Shrugged' ?
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1998 11:13:13 -0700
From: [email protected] (Guy Marsh)
Reply-To: [email protected]
Organization: International Communist Conspiracy
Newsgroups: alt.philosophy.objectivism,alt.politics.british,al t.politics.communism,alt.politics.libertarian,alt. politics.socialism,talk.politics.libertarian,ta

"Then she felt the mesh of burlap
striking the skin of her shoulders,
she found herself lying on the bro-
ken sandbags, she saw the long, ti-
ght gleam of her stockings, she fe-
lt his mouth pressed to her ankle,
then rising in a tortured motion up
the line of her leg, as if he wished
to own its shape by means of his lips,
then she felt her teeth sinking into
the flesh of his arm, she felt the sw-
eep of his elbow knocking her head as-
ide and his mouth seizing her lips wi-
th a pressure more viciously painful
than hers ( S&M? ) - then she felt,
when it hit her throat, that which she
knew only as an upward streak of ( ugh,
um ) motion that released and united
her body into a single shock of pleas-
ure - then she knew nothing but the mo-
tion of his ( ugh ) body and the driving
( ugh ) greed that went reaching on and
on..."

You know, this just has to be a quote
from some drugstore romance novel. I mean,
I just can't imagine that it could be part
of what our libies have based their entire
ideology on ( "Atlas Shrugged", page 880 ).
ROTFL !

Persevere.
Guy.
Socialist Labor Party of America (SLP)
Member-at-large
http://www.slp.org
__________
Remember the U.S.S. Liberty
06-08-67
http://www.halcyon.com/jim/ussliberty
_______
Former member
Republican & Democratic
Parties

________________________________________________

Subject: Re: Sex spam or 'Atlas Shrugged' ?
Date: Mon, 07 Sep 1998 18:15:10 -0400
From: Lepore <[email protected]>
Newsgroups: alt.philosophy.objectivism,alt.politics.british,al t.politics.communism,alt.politics.libertarian,alt. politics.socialism,talk.politics.libertarian,ta

Guy, just what all that has to do with
economic theory should become clear to you
by the time you get to page 4,000.

________________________________________________

Subject: Re: Sex spam or 'Atlas Shrugged' ?
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1998 16:02:05 -0700
From: [email protected] (Guy Marsh)
Reply-To: [email protected]
Organization: International Communist Conspiracy
Newsgroups: alt.philosophy.objectivism,alt.politics.british,al t.politics.economics,alt.politics.libertarian,alt. politics.socialism,talk.politics.libertarian,ta

Mike Lepore :
> Guy, just what all that has to do with
> economic theory should become clear to you
> by the time you get to page 4,000.

Oh, oh yes, thank you, Mike.
Do you suppose Shawn Wilson
could tell us how the foll-
owing relates to, say, lab-
or theory?

"She knew - by the way he
looked at her, by an instant's
drop of his eyelids closing his
eyes, by the brief pull of his
head striving to lean back and
resist, by the faint, half-smi-
ling, half-helpless relaxation
of his lips, by the sudden harn-
ess of his arms as he seized her -
that it was involuntary, that he
had not intended it, and that it
was irresistibly right for the
both of them. ( Perhaps Rand's
use of the term "involuntary"
was some sort of clever way of
telling us how capitalists are
persecuted by the "involuntary tax
system" ).
"The desperate violence of the
way he held her, the hurting pre-
ssure of his mouth on hers, the
exultant surrender of his body to
the touch of hers, were not the
form of moment's pleasure - she
knew that no physical hunger cou-
ld bring a man to this... ( yeah,
plain old hormones do it for me )."
( "Atlas Shrugged", page 567 ).

What a bunch of crap !

Persevere.
Guy.
Socialist Labor Party of America (SLP)
Member-at-large
http://www.slp.org
__________
Remember the U.S.S. Liberty
06-08-67
http://www.halcyon.com/jim/ussliberty
_______
Former member
Republican & Democratic
Parties

[Widerstand]

I feel like if I do nothing, I'm wasting my time, but if I'm on the internet fiddling around, then atleast I'm doing something.

That's cool, I sorta feel the same.

[Aloysius]

I start high school tomorrow...
I'm scared...Hold me!

[leftace53]

I start high school tomorrow...
I'm scared...Hold me!
Start high school? Wow, I didn't realize you were that young. High school wasn't very different from other school for me, except you know, it sucked. I'm sure it will be great :)

[Aloysius]

My bro's gonna be a junior, and I expect him to make life hell for me...

[Blackscare]

I feel like I have to fart but it's one of those times when it also feels like I may horribly shit myself if I try. Currently weighing how lazy I am against the possibility of vastly unpleasant cleanup if I don't walk down the hall to the bathroom.



Could use some emotional support right now guys.

[leftace53]

Went for a run in the rain today. It was pouring cats and dogs, my feet were soaked, you could see through my board shorts, my ears were cold, and all my clothes drenched. I discovered two cute wood bridges near my house overlooking a ravine in the middle of the woods. Stopped for a while on the bridge. If I weren't soaked to the bone, and didn't look like a hobo, it would have been quite romantic had I been accompanied by a nice guy/girl.
Best run of my life.

[Aloysius]

I don't exercise nearly as often as I should...But now i have climb 4 stories to get to my home room class...

[leftace53]

lol, I had a class 4 stories up first term of university. Not fun. :lol:

[Aloysius]

Not with my body type... oh god no... I seriously think I'm going to lose like, 5 pounds by Saturday.
High school was fine, btw. My Latin teacher's awesome, if only because he's insane.

[Widerstand]

God hates all of us equally.

[Aloysius]

Indeed he does, sir, in-fuckin'-deedy...

[leftace53]

I should have taken a language in high school. Forced french put me off of it though.

[Widerstand]

Same, though I chose forced Latin over forced French.

[leftace53]

I didn't get a choice. Thanks Canada.

[Il Medico]

Learning French is a joy. I applaud Canada on their joy spreading program. (But really, how can you get 'turned off' by French, forced or not. I love the language. Now German, that is tough. Took like 3 weeks, failed the alphabet and dropped it. hahaha)

[Widerstand]

Well I didn't get a choice with English D= but rejecting English would be stupid...

German is awesome mate, wtf are you talking about?

Okay yeah, it sucks, I know. I prefer English a lot actually.

[Il Medico]

Well I didn't get a choice with English D= but rejecting English would be stupid...

German is awesome mate, wtf are you talking about?

Okay yeah, it sucks, I know. I prefer English a lot actually.
one letter: Ypsilon

[leftace53]

I guess it was more I hated the teacher and the people in the class. I do enjoy the language quite a bit, so I suppose it was more personal circumstances and the forced part rather than actually learning french.

[Widerstand]

one letter: Ypsilon

What about it?

[Aloysius]

Just read the damn thing.
It's Y-p-s-i-l-o-n.
It's one of the strangest fucking things ever.

[leftace53]

Also, adding to my language class history, I lasted in Russian class for exactly 50 mins. Dropped out the second I got back to my computer. I lasted in French in university for about a week, dropped out when I realized I missed an assignment. I am taking Dutch this term, I am actually excited about that, but it is an evening class, so we'll see how long I last.

[Il Medico]

What about it?
That's their letter y. When my teacher said that, I was like 'holy shit'.

[Widerstand]

That's their letter y. When my teacher said that, I was like 'holy shit'.

I know what it is, German is my primary language.

But really, there is a lot of messier stuff in German. Stuff most Germans get wrong or simply neglect. For example our genitive. Or the classic: Articles with genders and cases!

[leftace53]

You know what sucks? Relationships. I haven't been satisfied in a relationship for like many many years now. Somehow I tend to get in relationships with people I don't particularly like, and the ones I actually like either aren't into girls, or they are a friend whom I don't want to ruin a friendship with. Then again, I haven't actually like someone in so long. Where the fuck are the normal intellectuals anyways? I mean I've dated intellectuals and dated the normals, and somehow the normals are just more satisfying. Maybe I'm better off with a pet. I'm thinking a fish, or another hermit crab.

[Ele'ill]

Fuck this 95+ weather.

[Il Medico]

I met a beautiful writer girl yesterday. She wants to be a professional writer (as do I) and likes a lot of the same stuff as me from what I gathered. Hell, she even has the same job as me (but for the rival company :ninja:). One of those insta-crushes ya know. Ah, to bad she is way out of my league.

[leftace53]

Ahh yes, leagues. The breaker of unmade relationships. I totally love them.
EDIT after my coffee: Sounds like you found a double! Screw the league shit, and just go for it, what do you have to lose anyways. doubles are hard to find, and as I always tell my IRL friends, a league is what you make it.

[Jazzratt]

As far as leagues go I'm pretty much in the conference (I think that mixes metaphors but no one says "s/he's out of my division.")

Anyway, I should just mention that I know a guy that is basically the avatar of the concept of "a good mate." He's awesome and that is all.

[Il Medico]

Well, to continue the analogy, I don't even play baseball in comparison. But yeah, I'll think about it. I try to be realistic about potential relationships.

[leftace53]

realism is for chumps! look to the sky and reach for the stars! eat a peanut and fly! shape wings from trees and soar! don't worry about the sun, you're not Icarus! etc....

You know what creeps me out? Anonymity.

[Il Medico]

You know what creeps me out? Anonymity.
Hence usernames.

[leftace53]

:bored::bored::bored:
Usernames and IRL names ARE anonymity. Everyone's a fucking ninja. :bored:

[Il Medico]

:bored::bored::bored:
Usernames and IRL names ARE anonymity. Everyone's a fucking ninja. :bored:
:ninja:

[Widerstand]

Every interesting girl I meet either has a boyfriend or is a psycho - in the mental "needs help immediately" way. Every other girl I meet either has an appalling attitude/politics or boring interests. 90% of girls I meet like shit music so I forced myself to stop caring about that.

Every cool guy I meet is straight.

I'm clearly doing something wrong.

[leftace53]

Every interesting guy I meet either has a girlfriend or is a psycho - in the mental "needs help immediately" way. Every other guy I meet either has an appalling attitude/politics or boring interests. 90% of guys I meet like shit music so I forced myself to stop caring about that.

Every cool girl I meet is straight.

I'm clearly doing something wrong.

Fixed :D

[Widerstand]

Fixed :D

same shit different sex

[Nwoye]

I fucking love androgynous women :wub:

[leftace53]

I fucking love androgynous women :wub:
Good. We are an interesting breed.

[Aurora]

I fucking feel terrible :crying:

[leftace53]

I fucking feel terrible :crying:
Whyever do you feel terrible?

[Aurora]

Whyever do you feel terrible?
i get the feeling i dont have a future and i can feel that pressing on my chest... like im gonna have an anxiety attack.... fuck

[Quail]

I fucking love androgynous women :wub:

I like androgynous people too:blushing:

[leftace53]

i get the feeling i dont have a future and i can feel that pressing on my chest... like im gonna have an anxiety attack.... fuck
I feel like that all the time. Just gotta take it a day at a time.

[Aloysius]

Take runs in the rain.
Anyway, I was successfully Facebook-stalked. Yep.
At freshman orientation (complete bullshit, btw, wasn't orientated at all) a pair of twins seemed to notice me, with a my green tie-dye shirt and everything. Turns out I'm in the same homeroom as both of them and they both "friended" me.
I don't know if I should be freaked out or what.
They even had a nickname for me...

[leftace53]

Yea, I facebook stalked everyone I could before University and both of my high schools. I wasn't quite as creepy as to tell the people that I stalked them though. I just facebook stalk in the privacy of my own home and mind.

[Aurora]

I hope you dont feel like that everyday leftace i really do.. i think thats my 3rd or 4th anxiety attack in about 4 months, really hoped i wouldnt have to do that again :(

[Quail]

I hope you dont feel like that everyday leftace i really do.. i think thats my 3rd or 4th anxiety attack in about 4 months, really hoped i wouldnt have to do that again :(

Anxiety sucks :(