How to become more callous?

[aziraphale]

I, despite being mildly autistic, am unusually empathetic to the point of being over sensitive. So every time I hear about needless suffering I get not only disgusted and angry, but sad too. As I learn more and more about what really goes on in the United States, this is happening more often. For example, you know that seven year old girl shot by the police in Detroit? That actually made me cry. It is tough to hear about people suffering. I'm asking here because, quite simply, this forum is probably filled with people who have been dealing with the sick reality much longer than I have. Any advice on toughening up?

[RedStarOverChina]

Run for office.

[Raúl Duke]

I think perhaps what you are looking for is more stoicism, not callousness.

Sometimes, it comes about due to desensitization. When you no longer see injustices as something new but rather as a common occurrence and when it doesn't surprise you anymore you get this sense that while it's wrong...there's really nothing you immediately can do about it to prevent it or correct it so you stop "beating yourself over it."

[Mendax]

I find Dark Humour is the answer - turn horific things into bad jokes...

[eyedrop]

I find Dark Humour is the answer - turn horific things into bad jokes...
Child custody workers and others who see the really dark side of society usually have pretty dark humour on their work.

That combined with being desensitised and a mild case of nihilism usually does the trick.

There is also no reason why cruelty done close to you should count more than cruelty done far away, and in that viewpoint things are happening all the time. Not just the select cases that the media decides to show you.

[piet11111]

People are capable of the worst things once you can accept that you must realise that fortunately extremely few indulge in acts of cruelty.

We can and must work to better ourselves to overcome our violent tendency's i had an anger problem that i now have under control and it will take a lot to get me angry enough to start beating someone but if someone manages that then they definitely deserved it.

[4 Leaf Clover]

*slap* *slap* *slap*

don be weak ! what kind of revolutionary are you ? stop regreting and crying over your destiny , show some confidence and stalinism !

stand up , be a man !

this worked ? :D

[NecroCommie]

Start listening heavy metal! :thumbup1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp8daY_p56A&feature=related

[Mendax]

Child custody workers and others who see the really dark side of society usually have pretty dark humour on their work.

The end part was more of "sigh because this is needed" then stabbing at it, just incase thats what you thought it was.

[Os Cangaceiros]

Watch your best friend die.

You'll be even more callous if he or she dies in your arms, too.

[jake williams]

To be honest, it's not something you get over, it's something you get used to.

Ever heard of burnout?

[Axle]

Humor. Light, dark...it doesn't matter. I use both to cope with the world. The point is to twist bad events in such a way they become humorous to you.

For example, I had an aunt and a grandma die within a few months of each other last year. When my aunt died, it absolutely sucked because I didn't feel it was "right" to joke about it and deflect the pain, and it made it so much harder to deal with.

But when my grandma died, I started joking about "Grandma kicking it old school". Even on the way back from the cemetery, I was in my car with my brother and sister and I put on some Run DMC so we could "kick it old school", too.

Best of luck to you.

[9]

^this.

[Chambered Word]

I used to be like that OP, a year of browsing 4chan every couple of days has fixed it.

[Dooga Aetrus Blackrazor]

You can benefit from humor, as mentioned. Furthermore, taking action to improve the world can make you feel better.

However, another suggestion I have is to remind yourself that you aren't perfect. All you can do to improve the world is commit to improving yourself over time. This includes pursuing education, personal health, charity, etc. People who view success in terms of "have you done X" will be disappointed. If they have done all the things they wish to accomplish, they will be lost. If they haven't, they'll be disappointed in themselves.

In addition to that technique, I also utilize a sort of pragmatic view. You have to think about your biology and why you feel emotions. If you're sad, is it motivating you to save the world? It might, but can you improve the world around you without being miserable - yep. So why let yourself feel upset if it accomplishes nothing? It seems strange, but I'm able to control myself better this way. I think "I care about other people, and I should care about myself." If that's true, you should try not to make yourself feel miserable out of some sense of obligation. Any obligation that exists relates to improving yourself, as shown above. You don't have to be upset whenever you learn about a tragedy. Otherwise you might end up jumping off a cliff.

It's alright to be sad at times. However, it usually is too much when it happens to me - or a personal tragedy. Sometimes I try to enjoy sadness when reading part of a book. We are conditioned to think sadness is automatically bad, but that's not entirely true, either.

[Foldered]

I used to be like that OP, a year of browsing 4chan every couple of days has fixed it.
4Chan

+
http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e102/jaybonb/Jim.jpg

[Wanted Man]

Internet?

No really, there is nothing wrong with having a certain amount of empathy. However, realism is called for. You can't bring back the girl, and you can't directly stop all painful things that happen to people. Surely, that's fair enough.

[Robocommie]

I used to be like that OP, a year of browsing 4chan every couple of days has fixed it.

Ugh. Uggggh.

If Stormfront is like the internet's Mordor, then 4chan is like the internet's sewer.

[Chambered Word]

Ugh. Uggggh.

If Stormfront is like the internet's Mordor, then 4chan is like the internet's sewer.

Stormfront is the sewer, 4chan is a full-blown mental asylum.

[REVLEFT'S BIEGGST MATSER TROL]

I used to be like that OP, a year of browsing 4chan every couple of days has fixed it.

I have to ask, but why, oh why?

[Pavlov's House Party]

I have to ask, but why, oh why?

there's some fucked up shit on the tubes. your average 4channer is like some twisted vietnam war vet.

[Honggweilo]

lurk moar 4chan

EDIT: fuck people beat me to it

[Crusade]

There is no escape from it. That's the burden of awareness. You need perspective on not only what's going on and what you can do to help, but what should be reasonably expected of yourself. Also just make sure you're not part of the problem, speak out against injustices when you can, maybe make a few donations to (reliable) charities, etc every little bit counts. That kind of sensitivity is valuable, it's beautiful, just don't let it become a weakness. Allow it to draw lines in the sand of what you're willing to tolerate. It hurts now because you're feeling overwhelmed and without influence. You might feel that you can't do anything to stop it. In time, you'll be able to. You'll get stronger.

[#FF0000]

4chan and shock images made me much more sensitive actually. maybe i gave myself ptsd.

[Rusty Shackleford]

4chan and shock images made me much more sensitive actually. maybe i gave myself ptsd.
just avoid /b/. go into other sections and learn the humor system and then call people and ask for battletoads or whatever. you will then be one step close to crazyassshitohmyfuckinggodwhydidijustseethat images.

[leftace53]

Drink.

[al8]

Get some perspective. Realize how imperialist wars are every injustice times a billion. That little girl the careless cop got killed is nothing compared to the war on Iraq or the US bombing campaigns against Korea. War is a scenario where the most organized, best funded, mass-mobilized flock of hirelings commit socially acceptable murder, terror and atrocities. When you have studied war experiences, and their scale, you don't find the rare individual serial killer, rapist or shoddy cop to be all that significant or heinous. In fact wars are mindboggling. It also helps you develop and understanding of how sternly you have to repress your enemies, come the dictatorship of the proletariat, that you can't pussy-foot, loose heart or wallow in sorrow.

[Angry Young Man]

there's some fucked up shit on the tubes. your average 4channer is like some twisted vietnam war vet.

How many Vietnam veterans do you know born in 1995?

[Angry Young Man]

As to the poster's question, chain-smoke and look narrow-eyed to your right (left if you smoke with your left hand. That's more cynical than callous. Isn't callousness some kind of vindictiveness or aloofness to cruelty? See, I quite like having that sensitivity and inability to act maliciously.

But were you using callouses (where your skin toughens) as a metaphor for being more mentally hardy?

And I'm really not sure about the common association of autism with insensitivity. I'm AS and I wasn't the Romantic Revolutionary for nowt.

[RHIZOMES]

Stormfront is the sewer, 4chan is a full-blown mental asylum.

albeit one taken over by the patients

This is the closest a film has got to portraying what 4chan would be like in real life:
kNFB_zi3nZA

From Wikipedia:
"A group of dwarfs confined in an institution on a remote island rebel against the guards and director (all dwarfs as well) in a display of mayhem. The dwarfs gleefully break windows and dishes, abandon a running truck to drive itself in circles, engineer food fights (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_fight) and cock fights (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cock_fight), set fire to pots of flowers, kill a large pig, torment some blind dwarfs, and crucify a monkey."

[Chambered Word]

albeit one taken over by the patients

This is the closest a film has got to portraying what 4chan would be like in real life:
kNFB_zi3nZA

From Wikipedia:
"A group of dwarfs confined in an institution on a remote island rebel against the guards and director (all dwarfs as well) in a display of mayhem. The dwarfs gleefully break windows and dishes, abandon a running truck to drive itself in circles, engineer food fights (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_fight) and cock fights (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cock_fight), set fire to pots of flowers, kill a large pig, torment some blind dwarfs, and crucify a monkey."

I'm gonna watch that when I get the time. Thank you very much. :thumbup1: