short play about the uk general election and public attitudes

[scarletghoul]

SHORT PLAY

HUMAN and MORON are enslaved and made to eat shit every day for breakfast by some bastard named CAPITALIST.

HUMAN WAKES UP

CAPITALIST: Good morning HUMAN, today we have 2 pieces of shit for you to choose from. Aren't we being kind and generous. Which would you like ?

HUMAN: Eww, neither.

CAPITALIST: You are so ungreatful. This is the greatest country in the world.

MORON: I pick the yellowy piece !!!! yum. HUMAN you are being so apathetic ! We are allowed to decide what we eat, how can you be so ignorant towards that right ?

HUMAN: Its not apathetic. On the contrary I am strongly opposed to eating any kind of shit. It is disgusting !

MORON: You have no right to complain about it ! You didn't even pick one, so you really have no right to complain about what you get. Idiot.

CAPITALIST: I am so generous and great.

MORON: Yeah !!

MORON focusses on the 2 pieces of shit, contemplating which to eat. While he is choosing, HUMAN discreetly breaks his chains and prepares to slit throat of CAPITALIST

[Tablo]

I like this. This pretty much describes all elections. :thumbup1:

[Lyev]

Representative democracy is the system where you're free to vote for the party you hate the least.

[scarletghoul]

oh crap i forgot about this i was drunk when i wrote this

[RedAnarchist]

I decided to give this a go. This isn't great as I wrote it in five minutes.

SOCIALIST and WORKER are kept in a cage owned by CAPITALIST. Every four to five years they are allowed some exercise but the only choice they have is the colour of their leash.

CAPITALIST: How are my two puppies this morning, hmm? As you have known for the past month or so, mainly because I've actually acknowledged your existence for the last few weeks, today is the day I give you some exercise, as well as a choice - you cna choose what colour leash I will use.

WORKER: Well, my family are Red through and through, and that leash has always been the most trustworthy, the Blue is too pretentious whilst the Yellow - the yellow is unknown, and I wouldn't wnat to risk it. I'll go for the red again, Capitalist.

CAPITALIST: A good choice, Worker. Now, Socialist, what colour would you like?

SOCIALIST: Does it really matter? They may be different in colour, but in every other way they are the same.

CAPITALIST: Hahaha! You think these are all the same? What about Red, the People's leash?

SOCIALIST: To paraphrase Bakunin, when people are being led around on a leash, they aren't much happier when the leash is called the People's Leash.

CAPITALIST: Ungrateful! I give you this choice every five years, and you are never satisfied? What about a Green one, I can buy a green one if that will satisfy you?

SOCIALIST: I would prefer no leash, or at least a better cage and better conditions. It is only you who cares what colour the leash is.

WORKER: Your views might be good on paper, Socialist, but they just won't work in the real world

SOCIALIST: Why not? A world without the leash and a world without a cage is possible, and we can build it. Do you really think you have a choice here?

CAPITALIST: Enough! Come on, Worker, we're going for a walk. With your Red leash, which is different to the others, no matter what Socialist thinks!

[Sam_b]

Nonsense.

A vote for the Conservative party is a vote for progress in the year for change!