Self-mockery

[Q]

You can often see how healthy a person's sanity is by their ability to make a sarcastic stance towards him- or herself, using humor :)

So, let's see how healthy you all are! Let me throw the first stone:

Trotskyism: Splitting atoms since 1938

[Comrade Gwydion]

Sorry, I don't do self mockery. It's just too damn easy.

[Kléber]

I always had this idea for a comedy sketch about the failures of American Trotskyism

Setting: American circus carnival, 1938

(A monster truck labeled "CPUSA" careens around the dirt stage before crashing into a mound and lighting on fire. A tiny clown car labeled "SWP" flies out the back of it and begins its own circuitous route around the stadium, with clowns falling off the side of the car as it wildly zig zags around)

Commentator A: Would you look at that, the Communist Party has crashed and burned.

Commentator B: It's a good thing that some revolutionaries have made it out of the wreckage in one piece and started over.. that's some terrible driving though, who is that at the wheel?

A: It's James P. Cannon, he can't actually drive, he was accidentally issued his license at Comintern in 1928!

(A black panther wanders on to the stage. A police agent in the SWP car grabs the wheel, steers the car into the panther and runs it over. Cannon regains control and sees the vision of Socialist Cuba in a mirage, plunging the damaged vehicle into a pool of mud. Clowns begin to climb out with organizational initials like WWP, SL, WL, etc. emblazoned on their outfits)

A: It appears that leaders of new revolutionary organizations are exiting the vehicle.. what wonders will this future hold for American Trotskyism?

B: Some of them even have police uniforms.

A: Some of those in police uniforms even have their own organizations!

B: Well, it's good to see diverse groups having a voice within the workers' movement, I guess.

(The "Workers' League" clown walks to the side of the stadium and begins singing opera to the audience)

A: Look at that, the WL is actually trying to communicate to the working class.

B: Doesn't look like it's working?

A: Here comes James Robertson of the Spartacist League right now!

(SL clown runs up and viciously stabs the WL clown in the back with a knife until he falls dead, then skips away singing "Hail Red Army")

B: Jesus Christ, what the fuck is happening to Mr. Socialist Action ?

(Giant SA clown begins to wobble, then its gut bursts open and a swarm of tiny clowns crawl out and begin to attack the others)

A: *walking back with some coffee, yawn* is anyone still in the audience?

B: ...it looks like the Maoists and Lyndon LaRouche's thugs have just about mopped everybody up.

A: No wait, it looks like someone is still alive, crawling among the corpses.

B: That's just the Correspondence Publishing Committee.

A: ah..

[ZeroNowhere]

Us De Leonites haven't done enough to make fun of.

[Tyrlop]

i am the vanguard:laugh:

[al8]

I am the ultra supreme leader deluxe™. Now with extra sunshine coming out of my ass at 20% off for a limited 3 day special!!! Incredible! Buy now or else.

[Incendiarism]

I am a pierce of crap

[Comrade Gwydion]

I am sorry. I do not posses the neccesary humour to mock myself.

[9]

Self-mockery isn't funny when it's on command.

[whore]

how many marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? none, because the light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution!

how many anarchists...
none, because anarchists never change anything.
none, the light bulb must be smashed!

from; http://www.stumbleupon.com/group/anarchy/forum/81874/
How many right-Libertarians does it take to change a light-bulb?
Nope, if it needed changing the market would do it.
Q: How many anarcho-primitivists does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Why should they change it -- they deliberately broke the thing in the first place as part of their attempt to destroy the oppressive, technological mega-machine we live under
Q: How many anarcho-individualists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One.
Does an Anarchist man have an antistate gland instead of a prostate gland?
How many Bakuninists does it take to change a light bulb?

(first possible answer): One, but only because the material circumstances of mankind suggest that there was no supernatural lightmaker to "let there be light." Being a jealous lover of human darkness, I reverse the statement of Voltaire and say: If a supernatural light maker really existed, it would be necessary to abolish him. If a supernatural light maker is, man is not; if a supernatural light maker is everything, man is nothing.

(second possible answer): Two. One to change the light bulb and another to demand that workers take direct control of the means of production, without state representation, which has up to this point enslaved and degraded mankind.

(third possible answer): One, but he must be Slavic--the inability to form a strong government in Slavic history is proof that the Slavs are innately free people, whereas the Germanic people are inherently autocratic.

How many Proudhonists does it take to change a lightbulb?

(first possible answer): One, but under the Roman-law definition of things, "lighting is theft."

(second possible answer): Three: One to change the lightbulb, another to declare that all lightbulb changers must be equal and another to say that there are "inferior races of lightbulb changers" and that female light bulb changers do not deserve the same equality as male light bulb changers.


and of course, why do anarchists drink herbal tea? because proper tea is theft!

[Q]

...
Quite a sketch! :lol:


...

:laugh:

[Crux]

Q: What is two trotskyists in a phone booth?
A: An International.

Q: What is two troskyist in a phone booth twenty minutes later?
A: Two internationals.

Old I know, but I can't come up with anything better at the moment.

[bcbm]

i don't think there is a need for this thread. this board is full of self-mockery, albeit mostly unintentionally.

[red cat]

You can often see how healthy a person's sanity is by their ability to make a sarcastic stance towards him- or herself, using humor :)

So, let's see how healthy you all are! Let me throw the first stone:

Trotskyism: Splitting atoms since 1938

You could have started this confession-thread in a more straight forward manner. :)

[Kléber]

LOL, i was waiting for that

[cb9's_unity]

I would love to mock myself politically, but I don't know many jokes about Marxists who are leaning towards Luxemburgism that still sorta believe in a nations right to self determination.

Although in real life the fact that I'm 5'8 but only a whopping 108 pounds lends itself to a damn good amount of humorous self-depreciation.

[Q]

i don't think there is a need for this thread. this board is full of self-mockery, albeit mostly unintentionally.
That's a good point actually.


You could have started this confession-thread in a more straight forward manner. :)
You're clearly not sane.

[Il Medico]

You're clearly not sane.
But of course, he is a ML after all! Zing! :lol::p

[GracchusBabeuf]

You might be a Trotskyite if you get stuck on the highway because you thought you could keep driving your car after it ran out of gas.

You might be a Trotskyite if your closest ties to the proletariat are your friends working at Starbucks.

You might be a Trotskyite if you easily get "stage" fright. (har har)

You might be a Trotskyite if you refer to the suburbs as "the
ghetto."

You might be a Trotskyite if you would join a cult if it weren't for the religious parts.

You might be a Trotskyite if your hands are always covered with red newspaper ink.

You might be a Trotskyite if you refer to sex as "deep entrism."

You might be a Trotskyite if you think Fridha Kahlo was actually hot.

You might be a Trotskyite if you try to justify everything by saying "oh, but that happened before 1917."

You might be a Trotskyite if your in an organization with 10 people that broke off from an organization that had 20 people after that orgranization split from another organization that had 40 people which had a schism a week prior with an organization that had 80 people after it turned to Trotskyism.

You might be a Trotskyite if you know everything there is to know about web design but absolutely nothing about Marxism.




You may be a Trot if... you have ever thought about wearing an axe as piece of headgear.

You may be a Trot if... you refer to a recent breakup with a girlfriend as a factional split.

You may be a Trot if... every one of your friends heads his own International.

You may be a Trot if... you have ever argued that stockbrokers or bankers are really proletarians.

You may be a Trot if... your mom shouting "dinner's ready!" has ever prevented a split in your Party

You may be a Trot if... anyone has ever told you that your newspaper makes great lining for litter boxes.

[GracchusBabeuf]

Dear Russian police,

I am writing you today on the subject of the Russian revolutionary Lenin' death. It is an accepted fact today that Lenin died of a series of strokes perpetuated by gunshot wounds to his neck during an attempted assination. However there is new evidece that changes all this! I have strong reason to suspect that Stalin himself killed Lenin.

We have come to this conclusion because of different reasions. First Stalin was evil, he had to have killed Lenin. Second, Leon Trotsky suggested it.
"I am firmly convinced that Stalin could not have waited passively when his fate hung by a thread." We can take Trotsky's word since he is the true diciple of Lenin, he was always a true boslhevik contrary to the Stalinist claims. He always defned the Soviet Union even in the face of World War 2.
Third, you will note that in Lenin's last Testament, that great document where Lenin made his final opinions of his diciples in such an adequate and consciousness manner free of any obstacles(like sickness). In this document he said that Stalin should be removed. Later on he said "Stalin is rude." This could only mean that Lenin believed Stalin was a power hungry monster who wanted to turn the Soviet state into a totaltarian dictatorship, and why ? why else ? Are not all evil dictator's rude ?
Fourth, There is also something very suspicious about Lenin' autopsy report. Here is a copy:

"The basic disease of the deceased was disseminated vascular arteriosclerosis based on premature wearing out of the vessels. The narrowing of the lumen of the cerebral arteries and the disturbances of the cerebral blood supply brought about focal softening of the brain tissue which can account for all symptoms of the disease (paralysis, disturbance of speech)"

These do not look like the words of a doctor ! They look like the words of someone who wanted to plant a crime ! Come on, who could accept "lumen" wearing of the vessels" and "arterioscelrosis" as real medical terminology ? This doctor is the same kind of practicioner we find in the fields hired by Tobbacco corporations to claim tobacco isn't addictive or evolution is not real. What we have here is clearly a creationist, who created a lie and a crime.

So now we must put the events in order. Trotsky stated that he first believed Stalin killed Lenin at a meeting:`toward the end of February, 1923, at a meeting of the Politburo ..., Stalin informed us ... that Lenin had suddenly called him in and had asked him for poison. Lenin ... considered his situation hopeless , foresaw the approach of a new stroke, did not trust his physicians ..., he suffered unendurably.' (Stalin) He also noted at the meeting how Stalin, "Stalin's face seemd to me .... a sickly smile was"(Ibid)

Trotsky imagined the course of affairs somewhat like this:
"Lenin asked for poison at the end of February, 1923 .... Toward winter Lenin began to improve slowly ...; his faculty of speech began to come back to him.."

There acourse is a contradiction here: If there was no hope for Lenin, why would Stalin need to kill him ? Also if Stalin wanted to kill Lenin, why did he tell everyone at the commitee meeting including his arch enemy Trotsky ? We already stated the answer. Stalin was a power hungry dictator he needed to kill Lenin as fast as possible now so he could immediatly start his reign of terror. Also Stalin must have told everyone at the meeting that Lenin wanted Stalin to give him poison so people would think that Stalin would be the least likely suspect to have killed Lenin.

"Stalin was after power .... His goal was near, but the danger emanating from Lenin was even nearer. At this time Stalin must have made up his mind that it was imperative to act without delay .... Whether Stalin sent the poison to Lenin with the hint that the physicians had left no hope for his recovery or whether he resorted to more direct means I do not know."

So in conclusion we ask that the Russian police force take a look into the matter carefully. Lenin's body is fully intact and you should be able to find traces of poison in him. We respectfully ask you to do a new autopsy report on Lenin. Untill such an examination is done, Lenin will continue to roll in his mauseleum.




yours truely
Wacky Trot

[Q]

I nominate Lex Luther for the Total Fail Award.

Protip: Look at the threads title. Arrogant nutcases.

[GracchusBabeuf]

sorry. could not resist.:p

[Q]

How many CWI comrades does it take to change the lightbulb?

The answer, comrades, is socialism!

(also works for many other other groups ending their articles with the predictable).

[Martin Blank]

How many WPA members does it take to write a newspaper and a theoretical journal, maintain a website, produce literature, answer correspondence, go to meetings and events across the country, organize activities across the country, and make it all look good?

One, apparently (if you listen to everyone else, that is).

[RHIZOMES]

Sorry, I don't do self mockery. It's just too damn easy.

And the winner of this thread goes to...

[which doctor]

the trotskyists definitely have the best jokes

[Q]

the trotskyists definitely have the best jokes
I'm not sure, whore had pretty good ones too :D

[Kléber]

(Not mine, from here (http://redleftreview.blogspot.com/2007/04/leftist-jokes.html). It's about a particular tendency that I don't think anyone here is a part of, but I figured I'd post it anyway)

An old revolutionary walks across the Brooklyn Bridge one day, and he sees man of a similar age standing on the edge, about to jump. He runs over and says: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"I'm just depressed, I've been a Communist all my life and the revolution seems as far away as ever"

"You're a Communist?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I am as well!! Did you originally join the Communist Party USA?"

"Yeah"

"Me too! Did you join the pro-Trotsky Communist League of America in 1928, which later merged with the American Workers Party to form the Workers Party of America in 1934?"

"Yeah"

"Spooky, Me too! After the WPA was expelled from the Socialist Party of America in 1936 did you then go on to join the Socialist Workers Party USA and the fourth international?"

"I did actually…"

"Me too! In the 1940 dispute did you side with Cannon or Shachtman?"

"Cannon."

"Me too! In 1962 did you join Robertson's opposition caucus, the Revolutionary Tendency?"

"Yep."

" Holly shit! And of course like me you were expelled and went on to join the International Communist League (Spartacist)"

"Well that goes without saying!"

"In 1985 did you join the International Bolshevik Tendency who claimed that the Sparts have degenerated into an "obedience cult""

"No way!"

"Nah, me neither. In 1998 did you join the Internationalist Group after the Permanent Revolution Faction were expelled from the ICL?"

"Yeah! I can't believe this! Maybe I won't…."

"Die counterrevolutionary scum!". And he pushes him off the edge

---------------------------------------------------------------


You might be a Trotskyite if you think Fridha Kahlo was actually hot.
She was! Does her brow.. intimidate you?

[Kléber]

http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/6276/luther.jpg

[Bilan]

How many CWI comrades does it take to change the lightbulb?

The answer, comrades, is socialism!

(also works for many other other groups ending their articles with the predictable).

haha. So. fucking. true. :lol:

[Bilan]

But Q's about the CWI. Fucking win. Anyone who has read their local CWI paper should see what's amusing about that.

Kléber: second best post, however.
"Die counterrevolutionary scum!"

Gold!

[GracchusBabeuf]

http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/6276/luther.jpg
:wub::wub::wub:

[The Ben G]

Currently, Im wearing a bright yellow Dead Kennedys shirt and bright blue boxers that I dont remember having in my room 10 minutes ago.

[The Ben G]

I nominate Lex Luther for the Total Fail Award.

Protip: Look at the threads title. Arrogant nutcases.

I will second your vote.

[red cat]

http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/6276/luther.jpg

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

OOPS !! FAINTED FROM LAUGHTER

http://www.millepiani.net/translucid/userdata/Image/Trotsky%20dead.jpg

[Crux]

I nominate Lex Luther for the Total Fail Award.

Protip: Look at the threads title. Arrogant nutcases.
Now now, he hardly needs this thread to make a mockery of himself.

[Crux]

:lol::lol::lol: I'm glad my Trot jokes made you cult members so butt-hurt.
Ah, and yet you remain so clueless. Way to go with the self-mockery though.

[Sasha]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIRB8ZW_yoM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoxI0UrOud0

[ZeroNowhere]

I nominate Lex Luther for the Total Fail Award.

Protip: Look at the threads title. Arrogant nutcases.
To be honest, I think that they did, and replied appropriately.

[Sam_b]

Political tendencies are not the 'self'.

[Q]

VIRB8ZW_yoM

WoxI0UrOud0
That was just great! German comedy ftw :cool:

[The Ben G]

OOPS !! FAINTED FROM LAUGHTER

http://www.millepiani.net/translucid/userdata/Image/Trotsky%20dead.jpg


Right back at ya

https://whewert.wikispaces.com/file/view/stalin_dead.jpg/33666437/stalin_dead.jpg
At least Trotsky didnt die a cowerdly death.

[red cat]

At least Trotsky didnt die a cowerdly death.

Right. Trotsky was organizing the world revolution, supported only by the proletarian press. One day, in the humble cottage he lived in, he was planning the strategy for revolution in Australia, when suddenly American troops attacked. Trotsky finished off dozens with his bare hands and fell only after a couple of grenades struck him.

[Os Cangaceiros]

*yawn*

[Die Neue Zeit]

Kautsky Revivalists: Swingers ("vacillators") since 1910 :D

[Kléber]

...
Actually, dozens of Stalinists did initially try to kill him, his wife and entourage with bombs and submachineguns, they failed miserably. Even the guy who stabbed him in the back, got his ass beat down by an old man with an ice axe lodged in his head.

[ZeroNowhere]

Political tendencies are not the 'self'.But if Revlefters can drive a thread for mockery of one's political tendencies into a thread for mockery of other political tendencies and promotion of one's own, it doesn't say much good about their hopes of self-deprecating humour.

[Sam_b]

Well yes I agree, but it still isn't self-mockery.

I'm not mocking myself when I say that the situation of British Trotskyism is laughable, its the truth.

[bricolage]

Kautsky Revivalists: Swingers ("vacillators") since 1910 :D

It doesn't work if no one knows what you are talking about.

[ZeroNowhere]

Well yes I agree, but it still isn't self-mockery.
Sure, I wasn't saying that it is, merely that a thread directed towards actual self-mockery here would probably turn into a thread for chest-beating by the time the OP clicks 'Submit Reply'.

[Guerrilla22]

I'm a worthless piece of shit from the midwest.

[al8]

I fart in my general direction.

[Il Medico]

I am very very bad at math.

[The Ungovernable Farce]

I'm farcical.

[The Ben G]

I cant do my ABC's without singing the song.