Bob Avakian Jokes

[The Idler]

Q. How many members of the RCP does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. RCPers don't need lightbulbs because being members of the same organisation as Bob Avakian is enlightening enough

Q. Who knows more about communism, Marx or Engels?
A. Bob Avakian

When Marx described communism as a "dictatorship of the proletariat", Marx actually meant "Bob Avakian" instead of "proletariat" and also instead of "dictatorship"

Q. What is the opposite of the internet meme "FAIL"?
A. Bob Avakian

[Wanted Man]

:lol: Zing! HI-LA-RI-OUS! That will show them! :rolleyes:

[mykittyhasaboner]

You suck at jokes.

[Pirate turtle the 11th]

http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/2/10/633699047863073760-boomheadshot.jpg

[Robocommie]

Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob Avakian.

Bob Avakian sits down at a bar, and he's a horse. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" and Bob Avakian says, "Hey man, I'm Bob Avakian. And a horse."

[DecDoom]

Bob Avakian sits down at a bar, and he's a horse. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" and Bob Avakian says, "Hey man, I'm Bob Avakian. And a horse."

:laugh:

[The Idler]

Knock knock
Who's there?
Bob
Bob who?
Bob Avakian
Who's he?

[Luisrah]

We can do this like Chuck Norris jokes.

Bob Avakian can make socialism over the world AND in one country at the same time.

If Fascists have as many supporters as Bob Avakian, then Bob Avakian has more supporters

[Winter]

LOL, genius.

[Das war einmal]

Who?

[Revy]

the first one in the original post is pretty funny.

[Rusty Shackleford]

funny communist jokes! woo! ok i know this is about Avakian but... i think making fun of leaders is fun. while watching das leben der anderen i lul'd at this:


Early in the morning,Honecker arrives at his office and opens his window. He sees the sun and says: "Good morning, dear Sun!"The sun replies: "Good morning, dear Erich!"Honecker works, and then at noon he heads to the window and says: "Good day, dear Sun!"The sun replies: "Good day, dear Erich!"In the evening, Erich calls it a day, and heads once more to the window, and says: "Good evening, dear Sun!"The sun is silent.Honecker says again: "Good evening, dear Sun! What's the matter?"The sun replies: "Kiss my arse. I'm in the west now."

[Woyzeck]

Perhaps I'm being a tad insensitive here, but where are the man's eyebrows?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXlEEW6STTc

[The Idler]

What's the difference between Mao and Bob Avakian?
One has developed his own ideology and successfully led a revolution of tens of millions, the other is Mao.

[Lyev]

I've got one, it's really good.

Why is Bob Avakian funny?
Because he has no eyebrows!

[The Red Next Door]

Bob Avakian, A Maoist recarnation of jesus

[A.R.Amistad]

So three bourgeois guys are pissing off of a bridge, right? And all of the sudden, who drives up in their car but BOB AVAKIAN! Well, old comrade Bob doesn't like it when people do such a bourgie thing as piss of a bridge, so he tells each one of them that if he sees them pissing off the bridge again, he'll cut their balls off. Well, being the cappy types they are, they don't quite listen, so of course the next day there they are: pissing off the bridge. And yes, you guessed it, Bob Avakian shows up in all his Mao Tse-Tung Thought glory! He goes up to the first bourgeois pig and asks "What industry do you own?" "Why me?" the bourgie says "I own the logging industry." So Bob Avkian saws his balls off with a saw. Avakian goes up to the next capitalist and asks him the same thing. "I own the military industrial complex" So Bob Avkian straps a grenade to his balls and pulls the pin. Bob Avkian walks up to the last guy and says "And what industry do you own??" "Me?" the last capitalist says "I own the lolli-pop industry."

[Incendiarism]

Bob Avakian's mom is so fat that he mistook her for China

I'm bad at this

[Axle]

Bob Avakian walks into a bar and tells the bartender to make him a Bob Avakian. The bartender asks "What's a Bob Avakian?" and Bob Avakian replies "Nevermind, I'm moving to France".

[The Ungovernable Farce]

Bob Avakian is so awesome that Chuck Norris spends hours thinking up lame repetitive Bob Avakian jokes.

[Chambered Word]

So three bourgeois guys are pissing off of a bridge, right? And all of the sudden, who drives up in their car but BOB AVAKIAN! Well, old comrade Bob doesn't like it when people do such a bourgie thing as piss of a bridge, so he tells each one of them that if he sees them pissing off the bridge again, he'll cut their balls off. Well, being the cappy types they are, they don't quite listen, so of course the next day there they are: pissing off the bridge. And yes, you guessed it, Bob Avakian shows up in all his Mao Tse-Tung Thought glory! He goes up to the first bourgeois pig and asks "What industry do you own?" "Why me?" the bourgie says "I own the logging industry." So Bob Avkian saws his balls off with a saw. Avakian goes up to the next capitalist and asks him the same thing. "I own the military industrial complex" So Bob Avkian straps a grenade to his balls and pulls the pin. Bob Avkian walks up to the last guy and says "And what industry do you own??" "Me?" the last capitalist says "I own the lolli-pop industry."

That has to be the best joke in this entire thread.

[DecDoom]

So, Bob Avakian walks into a bar and says "Fuck you guys, I'm Bob Avakian." Then he leaves.

[Kayser_Soso]

Bob Avakian walks into a bar...and leaves a dent in it.

[Nolan]

Bob Avakian doesn't need to walk into the bar...
The party members would carry him in.

[Bright Banana Beard]

Bob Avakian doesn't need to walk into the bar...
he synthesize it.

[Rusty Shackleford]

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.

yup

[jake williams]

This is pretty much the greatest thread ever. I have nothing to contribute.

[Kayser_Soso]

A Priest, a Rabbi, an Imam, and a Lama walk into a bar. They see Bob Avakian. They run.

[Honggweilo]

bob avakian, can we fix the rcp? no its fucked

fail :lol:

[hardlinecommunist]

bob avakian, can we fix the rcp? no its fucked

fail :lol: this is really one funny joke that you have here

[punisa]

bob avakian is mighter then bob avakian

[Axle]

Bob Avakian's tears can spark a revolution.

[RHIZOMES]

Needs more new synthesis jokes

[Sendo]

Bob Avakian isn't disgusting; he's revolting!

Why hasn't Bob Avakian come back to America yet? Because nobody noticed he left.

Bob Avakian doesn't dream, he organizes his subconscious.

Political power flows out of Bob Avakian.

Bob Avakian plays rugby revolution because rugby union is too revisionist.

If Bob Avakian ran a corporation, he'd still be more socialist than you.

Workers of the World, Unite! You have nothing to lose but Bob Avakian's love.

Bob Avakian doesn't steal goods; he liberates them.

[Revy]

I'm warning you guys...if you don't stop with these jokes, Bob Avakian will smite you. So help me Bob, there will be some lightning strikes going through internet tubes, into your keyboard...*zap*:rolleyes:

[Kléber]

The US government once fled to France in terror after they staged a failed protest against Bob Avakian.

Rich businessmen accidentally shaved off their own eyebrows before a shitty speech on how to overthrow Bob Avakian.

Christian conservatives revised their positions on homosexuality amid criticism that they were just as reactionary as Bob Avakian.

The capitalists are too scared to do anything about Bob Avakian, so they sit around and develop New Synthesis.

Bob Avakian lives in a bubble, and everybody else is resolutely struggling against capitalism and revisionism.

In spite of many books, an exclusive personality cult and control of his party, Obama is powerless to confront the political hegemony of Bob Avakian.

The bourgeoisie insists on making its visual art as gaudy and unappealing as possible in the propaganda war against Bob Avakian.

[Rosa Lichtenstein]

The Idler:


Q. How many members of the RCP does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. RCPers don't need lightbulbs because being members of the same organisation as Bob Avakian is enlightening enough

In fact, this should be:

Q. How many members of the RCP does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None at all, since, according to dialectics, the lightbulb changes itself.

[RHIZOMES]

The Idler:



In fact, this should be:

Q. How many members of the RCP does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None at all, since, according to dialectics, the lightbulb changes itself.

Can't waste any possible opportunity to bash dialectics after all.

[synthesis]

Bob Avakian can microwave a burrito so large that He himself cannot eat it.

(Do people still get Simpsons jokes?)

[LeninBalls]

The Idler:



In fact, this should be:

Q. How many members of the RCP does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None at all, since, according to dialectics, the lightbulb changes itself.

It's pretty sad if you jump out of your way to make fun of dialectics in an unfunny thread about a guy largely unrelated to dialectics.

[hardlinecommunist]

Who is the greatest Man who ever lived who never did anything Answer Bob Avakian

[punisa]

Bob Avakian puts back the Bob in Bobletariat.

[The Ungovernable Farce]

Bob Avakian is so fascinating that he can make Rosa think about things other than dialectics.

[RHIZOMES]

Bob Avakian is so fascinating that he can make Rosa think about things other than dialectics.

Now that's a bit of a stretch. :lol:

[Honggweilo]

The Idler:



In fact, this should be:

Q. How many members of the RCP does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None at all, since, according to dialectics, the lightbulb changes itself.

Q. How many anti-dialectics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. one to waste her life ranting on the intarwebz with spaghetti logic to prove that the concept of electricity is a facade haunting the scientific community and that Benjamin Franklin is highly misintrepreted, then pisses off some poor well intended rational sod who was stupid enough to waste his time to change the lightbulb for her to prove to her that electricity does indeed exist :rolleyes:

ZING! :lol:

[RHIZOMES]

Q. How many anti-dialectics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. one to waste her life ranting on the intarwebz with spaghetti logic to prove that the concept of electricity is a facade haunting the scientific community and that Benjamin Franklin is highly misintrepreted, then pisses off some poor well intended rational sod who was stupid enough to waste his time to change the lightbulb for her to prove to her that electricity does indeed exist :rolleyes:

ZING! :lol:

:thumbup1:

[jake williams]

Q. How many anti-dialectics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. one to waste her life ranting on the intarwebz with spaghetti logic to prove that the concept of electricity is a facade haunting the scientific community and that Benjamin Franklin is highly misintrepreted, then pisses off some poor well intended rational sod who was stupid enough to waste his time to change the lightbulb for her to prove to her that electricity does indeed exist :rolleyes:

ZING! :lol:
:)

[Cooler Reds Will Prevail]

To steal a Chuck Norris joke:

People say it's good to kill two capitalists with one bullet, but Bob Avakian once killed four capitalists with half a bullet. What's that you say? You can't kill four capitalists with half a bullet? The four dead capitalists didn't think so either.

Soviet Russia style:

In Avakianist America, epistemology makes a break with you!

Some silly ones I just came up with:

Bob Avakian walks into a bar. Immediately, the owner is overcome with the recognition of his bourgeois right, the bartender comes to terms with his white privilege, and the patrons all become overwhelmed by the uncontrollable urge to run to the front of a demonstration with idiotic signs and slogans pretending to have coalesced the movement under their leadership.

Contrary to popular belief, Jean-Jacques Rousseau would have been the first Western philosopher to have changed the world instead of merely interpreting it instead of Marx, but Bob Avakian wrote a scathing polemic calling him a Rousseauist, and from that point on Jean-Jacques lost all credibility within academia. In response, Rousseau invented Alain Badiou.

News reports state that Jerry Falwell died of sudden heart failure. What they didn't state is that Jerry Falwell had just finished reading Away With All Gods, and upon immediately losing his faith in Jesus Christ, saw no more reason to live.

Bob Avakian was going to get married, but his girlfriend refused to get engaged with his body of work.

Bob Avakian is so smart that he makes Karl Marx look like Bob Avakian.

There is no theory of relativity, just a list of people Bob Avakian deems 'relativists'.

Earthquakes are the result of tectonic plates fighting with each other on who gets to be closest to Bob Avakian.

Lord Voldemort is afraid to say Bob Avakian's name.

The best laid plans of Bob Avakian and men often go wrong, and then are blamed on the people.

Jesus, Zeus and Bob Avakian are sitting in a pub, drinking a beer, and start bragging to each other about their abilities. Jesus says "I can turn water into wine." The others look on stunned as Jesus turns their water cups into glasses of fine cabernet. Zeus then says "Well, I am capable of changing forms." The others look on in amazement as Zeus turns himself into a woman. Finally, Bob Avakian boasts "Oh yeah, well I can fly." The others look on puzzled as Bob Avakian boards a plane to France, never to be seen again.

Bob Avakian pickup lines:

"Hey baby, I've got a solid core, wanna get rid of my elasticity?"

"Hey girl, I'd love to put my driving force in your revolution."

"Hey sexy, I'm Bob Avakian."

[ZeroNowhere]

Q. How many anti-dialectics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. one to waste her life ranting on the intarwebz with spaghetti logic to prove that the concept of electricity is a facade haunting the scientific community and that Benjamin Franklin is highly misintrepreted, then pisses off some poor well intended rational sod who was stupid enough to waste his time to change the lightbulb for her to prove to her that electricity does indeed exist :rolleyes:

ZING! :lol:There should have been a comma after the 'one' in that unfunny joke. Rosa's at least had decent grammar, and was shorter and thus less painful.

[Il Medico]

Bob Avakian sits down at a bar, and he's a horse. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" and Bob Avakian says, "Hey man, I'm Bob Avakian. And a horse."

"Hey sexy, I'm Bob Avakian."

These two made me laugh.

[Honggweilo]

There should have been a comma after the 'one' in that unfunny joke. Rosa's at least had decent grammar, and was shorter and thus less painful.


http://mybroadband.co.za/photos/data/500/grammar-nazi2.jpg

butthurt anglocentric grammarnazi

[RHIZOMES]

There should have been a comma after the 'one' in that unfunny joke. Rosa's at least had decent grammar, and was shorter and thus less painful.

English isn't his first language...