Welsh Rugby Star Gareth Thomas reveals he is gay

[Stranger Than Paradise]

Ex-Lion Gareth Thomas reveals he is gay
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46956000/jpg/_46956272_alfiegutted_huw.jpg
Former Wales and Lions captain Gareth Thomas has broken one of the major taboos that surround sport by revealing he is gay.

The 35-year-old joins stars like basketball's John Amaechi and hurling's Donal Og Cusack who have come out.

"Just because you are gay, it doesn't mean you fancy every man who walks the planet," Thomas told the Daily Mail.

"I don't want to be known as a gay rugby player. I am a rugby player first and foremost. I am a man."

Cardiff Blues utility back Thomas said he had been through "all sorts of emotions" over the issue, since first knowing he was gay in his late teens.
He revealed that he was "anxious about people's reactions" to him being gay and that he felt he could not have come out earlier in his rugby career.

"It is the toughest, most macho of male sports, and with that comes an image," Thomas said.

"In many ways, it is barbaric, and I could never have come out without first establishing myself and earning respect as a player.

'Time is right'
"Rugby was my passion, my whole life, and I wasn't prepared to risk losing everything I loved."

Thomas went on to win 100 caps for Wales and three for the Lions, and has played for Bridgend and Cardiff and spent three years in France with Toulouse, before returning to south Wales in 2007.

He feels attitudes have changed and the time is right for sport to start accepting openly gay people in the same way other professions have in recent years.

"I just happen to be gay," he added. "It's irrelevant.

"What I choose to do when I close the door at home has nothing to do with what I have achieved in rugby.

"It's pretty tough for me being the only international rugby player prepared to break the taboo.

"Statistically I can't be the only one, but I'm not aware of any other gay player still in the game.

"I'd love for it, in 10 years' time, not to even be an issue in sport, and for people to say: 'So what?'"

Thomas retired from international duty after captaining Wales' exit from the 2007 World Cup.

But he admitted it was on Wales duty at an earlier time when he first broke the news to former Wales caretaker coach Scott Johnson over his sexuality and the break-up of his marriage to his wife Jemma.

"My life seemed to be falling apart," he added. "Jemma and I were splitting up, and I was scared of the future and being single again as a gay man.

Rush of relief
"Somehow, the coach had guessed," said Thomas. "He took me out of the team room to the medical room, locked the door and I told him everything.
"After keeping it secret for so long, I felt a huge rush of relief.

"Scott said: 'Right, I've got to speak now to three or four players in the Welsh team because you need the boys to surround you and support you. You can't cope with this on your own,' and he was right.

"He told two of my team-mates, Stephen Jones and Martyn Williams, and as I sat in the bar waiting for them, I was absolutely terrified, wondering what they were going to say.

"But they came in, patted me on the back and said: 'We don't care. Why didn't you tell us before?'

"Two of my best mates in rugby didn't even blink an eyelid."

But Thomas said one of his lowest points was cheating on Jemma, which drove him to the edge.

"Sometimes I felt so alone and depressed," he added.

"I used to go to the cliffs overlooking the beach near our cottage in St Brides Major and just think about jumping off and ending it all."

Poor guy. Seemed like he suffered a lot before he came out. Such a backwards state of affairs our sports are still in.

[Hoggy_RS]

Fair play to him, I hope he can find true happiness in his retirement. He was an amazing rugby player.:)

[Woyzeck]

Fairplay to him.

[Andropov]

When you read about what gay people go through it only serves to demolish the myth that people choose to be gay, who would choose to put themselves that much shite from society?

[Guerrilla22]

Fairplay to him.

[RED DAVE]

Hopefully, more American athletes will choose to come out, especially football players.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090325205256AAK6hTt

RED DAVE

[Stranger Than Paradise]

Hopefully, more American athletes will choose to come out, especially football players.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090325205256AAK6hTt

RED DAVE

It would be great but when I look at the reaction from John Amaechi's colleagues in the NBA I think it will be some time.

[vivapalestina]

like, yeah ok it is good that a famous player came out openly, particularly in such a "masculine" sport, but i feel there is some alter agenda. does he by any chance have a book coming out soon? don't mean to be cynical, but it has happened before.

[blake 3:17]

like, yeah ok it is good that a famous player came out openly, particularly in such a "masculine" sport, but i feel there is some alter agenda. does he by any chance have a book coming out soon? don't mean to be cynical, but it has happened before.

Does it really matter? Overcoming sexual oppression and challenging the heterosexist norm seems to matter a whole lot more.

[Patchd]

The mental shit you get with your identity as a homosexual doesn't always stop at the point of 'coming out', not while we still live in a homophobic society, I know it still affects me and so many others. But yeah, awesome rugby player and that's what he should be remembered for.

[*Viva La Revolucion*]

It's absolutely terrible that, in 2009, someone would honestly consider jumping off a cliff just because they happened to find their own gender attractive. But good on him for coming out, it was a brave thing to do seeing as he was so scared about it.

[Sleeper]

I'm entirely for the rights of homosexuals to be homosexuals and practice homosexuality, I'm even for extending them marriage rights.

My only question, which I will preface by saying that (at least in the U.S.) the reason that men and women do not share a locker (changing) room is obvious. Do you think that for those same reason there should be a separate room for homosexuals to change in in professional sport, would that solve the problems that some people have with it? Or, could they change at a separate time?

People may make the argument that it is appropriate to share a changing room as long as homosexuals do not stare or act inappropriately towards heterosexuals, but that does not make sense when men and women cannot share a changing room if the man is held to a standard of not staring or behaving inappropriately, or vice-versa.

I have no problem with the whole thing, by the way. As a heterosexual, I would share a changing room with a guy if we were on the same sports team and he could even stare at my trash as much as he wants because nudity and sexuality are two different things so having my trash looked at by anyone doesn't bother me, personally. Not everyone feels that way, though, and I don't want homosexuals to have to be uncomfortable to come out, but I don't want heterosexuals to have to be uncomfortable with having to take their clothes off in front of homosexuals if they don't want to, either.

The natural argument to this is that the heterosexual simply not need to use the locker room if he is that concerned. Again, though, why could there then not be just one huge locker room and an individual woman not use it if she is that concerned?

By the way, I'm not equating homosexuals to how some women feel being naked around men, I'm equating heterosexuals to how some women feel being naked around men! Heterosexuals are the ones with the problem here, though somewhat legitimate.

[Sean]

I'm entirely for the rights of homosexuals to be homosexuals and practice homosexuality, I'm even for extending them marriage rights.

My only question, which I will preface by saying that (at least in the U.S.) the reason that men and women do not share a locker (changing) room is obvious. Do you think that for those same reason there should be a separate room for homosexuals to change in in professional sport, would that solve the problems that some people have with it? Or, could they change at a separate time?

People may make the argument that it is appropriate to share a changing room as long as homosexuals do not stare or act inappropriately towards heterosexuals, but that does not make sense when men and women cannot share a changing room if the man is held to a standard of not staring or behaving inappropriately, or vice-versa.

I have no problem with the whole thing, by the way. As a heterosexual, I would share a changing room with a guy if we were on the same sports team and he could even stare at my trash as much as he wants because nudity and sexuality are two different things so having my trash looked at by anyone doesn't bother me, personally. Not everyone feels that way, though, and I don't want homosexuals to have to be uncomfortable to come out, but I don't want heterosexuals to have to be uncomfortable with having to take their clothes off in front of homosexuals if they don't want to, either.

The natural argument to this is that the heterosexual simply not need to use the locker room if he is that concerned. Again, though, why could there then not be just one huge locker room and an individual woman not use it if she is that concerned?

By the way, I'm not equating homosexuals to how some women feel being naked around men, I'm equating heterosexuals to how some women feel being naked around men! Heterosexuals are the ones with the problem here, though somewhat legitimate.
You'll probably be flamed into oblivion for asking that. But similarly, if there was a room full of gay men, wouldn't they all feel unfortable being oogled at by other gay men? If there were 20 shower rooms for every end of the spectrum which were mandatory divisions it would be discriminatory on an impossible level. If said 20 were optional, and a gay man opts to go into a gay showerroom rather than a heterosexual one, doesn't that automatically sexualise the whole thing? Unisex bathrooms work in nightclubs, theres no need to change things in terms of sexuality. If you did that you might as well be having your coach ask if you're a top or a bottom when he's telling you where to stand in a scrum for gods sake.

[Sleeper]

You'll probably be flamed into oblivion for asking that. But similarly, if there was a room full of gay men, wouldn't they all feel unfortable being oogled at by other gay men? If there were 20 shower rooms for every end of the spectrum which were mandatory divisions it would be discriminatory on an impossible level. If said 20 were optional, and a gay man opts to go into a gay showerroom rather than a heterosexual one, doesn't that automatically sexualise the whole thing? Unisex bathrooms work in nightclubs, theres no need to change things in terms of sexuality. If you did that you might as well be having your coach ask if you're a top or a bottom when he's telling you where to stand in a scrum for gods sake.

I couldn't agree more with what you just said!

I guess the problem that I am trying to address here is that I think that all of the sexual boundaries, which really aren't sexual, strictly speaking, at all need to be completely broken down. I don't even think that men and women should have separate changing rooms.

As our society evolves and these, "Sexualities," that have been practiced for thousands and thousands of years slowly, but finally, find themselves being more and more accepted in our culture maybe it is time to finally separate sexuality from mere living. Changing rooms, restrooms, these are functions of living, not of sexuality.

Like I said, I don't think I could be more heterosexual. At the same time, though, if someone finds the nudity of my body aesthetically appealing and wants to appreciate my body, visually, then that is perfectly fine with me. It wouldn't happen anyway, because the majority of people, just like Mr. Thomas, would practice discretion to such an extent that nobody would realize that he is homosexual to begin with, even if they knew it.

[Sleeper]

For anyone that doesn't get that last post, expanding upon my initial post, even though I know most of you (as well as Sean) do, the questions were meant to be ironic.

So, don't flame me.

Please and thank you.

[h0m0revolutionary]

I couldn't agree more with what you just said!

I guess the problem that I am trying to address here is that I think that all of the sexual boundaries, which really aren't sexual, strictly speaking, at all need to be completely broken down. I don't even think that men and women should have separate changing rooms.

As our society evolves and these, "Sexualities," that have been practiced for thousands and thousands of years slowly, but finally, find themselves being more and more accepted in our culture maybe it is time to finally separate sexuality from mere living. Changing rooms, restrooms, these are functions of living, not of sexuality.

Like I said, I don't think I could be more heterosexual. At the same time, though, if someone finds the nudity of my body aesthetically appealing and wants to appreciate my body, visually, then that is perfectly fine with me. It wouldn't happen anyway, because the majority of people, just like Mr. Thomas, would practice discretion to such an extent that nobody would realize that he is homosexual to begin with, even if they knew it.

Sorry I just dont get what point you're making. I appreciate there may be unease within some people about being in the same changing room (or wherever else) as a homosexual (or anyone LGBTQI..) but that's not of any concern surely?

If anyone feels unease being in the same changing room as an LGBTQ individual, it's completely irrational and stems from a homophobic attitude and a false perception that gay individuals want nothing more than to admire/have sex with/date heterosexuals.

I think you're potentially quite good on the question, in your wish to dismantle gender binaries making sex, gender, sexuality (and all the myriad of mechanisms that police it). but I do wonder why the whole changing room scenario was brought up in the first place? If heterosexuals feel uncomfortable, im afraid that's not something I would be willing to consider, because it's their own irrational insecurities.

As for Gareth Thomas, he like every other LGBTQ person in such a position should have come out sooner. Kudos for him having done so, but it's a bit late.

[Sleeper]

I think you're potentially quite good on the question, in your wish to dismantle gender binaries making sex, gender, sexuality (and all the myriad of mechanisms that police it). but I do wonder why the whole changing room scenario was brought up in the first place? If heterosexuals feel uncomfortable, im afraid that's not something I would be willing to consider, because it's their own irrational insecurities.

As for Gareth Thomas, he like every other LGBTQ person in such a position should have come out sooner. Kudos for him having done so, but it's a bit late.

The reason I brought up the changing room bit in the first place is because the initial sexual separation that we have growing up as kids is male and female. One of the places that starts is having separate bedroom as kids and then having separate changing rooms as we get into school, then there is not being able to occupy a bathroom at the same time under any circumstances.

That's the problem, the only reason that the differences between the two genders are even acknowledged in that way is because of sexuality. So, essentially, different sexualities become something to be avoided in a sense, even in non-sexual situations. Anyway, homosexuality, bi-sexuality and trans-sexuality all throw more sexualities into the scenario which can occasionally offend, confuse and frighten some people. However, they are only offended, confused or frightened because they were conditioned to be that way from a young age because the very differences in the sexuality of male and female were taught to be avoided from a very young age.

I mean, if a guy walks into a restroom that is occupied by a female and she is transacting her business, he's going to end up being quite embarrased for having seen the female naked, but the situation is decidedly non-sexual. That's my point, if you separate sexuality from living, then people will more easily be able to live with those of different sexualities and such discrimination will mostly cease.

[Orange Juche]

Given the statistical odds of one being gay, there are probably a lot more athletes that we know and love who turn out to be homosexuals.

[Y Chwyldro Comiwnyddol Cymraeg]

Chwarae teg (fari play) to him and the rubgy world for being generally very accepting.



like, yeah ok it is good that a famous player came out openly, particularly in such a "masculine" sport, but i feel there is some alter agenda. does he by any chance have a book coming out soon? don't mean to be cynical, but it has happened before.

But yeah, he does have a book out soon.

But he is by no means the first openly gay star in the Welsh rugby world - lets not forget Nigel Owens the ref.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigel_Owens

[Chairman Wow]

The chances of an openly gay footballer coming out of the closet whilst still actively playing professionally are absolutely minimal, look at the case of Justin Fashanu and the treatment Graham Le Saux recieved simply for not fitting the 'lad' stereotype in the sport. Or even the chants directed at Sol Campbell and Ashley Cole. It's a shame.

[Y Chwyldro Comiwnyddol Cymraeg]

Didnt a PR advisor say that he has, in the last year or so, advised a few footballes to stay in the closet because it will have a negative effect on their careers if they do come out?