Ah sharks near my house!!!!!!!

[A.R.Amistad]

This has nothing to do with politics at all......

But it has been confirmed that there are Bull Sharks living in freshwater as far north up the Mississippi River as ST. LOUIS! Recent reports, sightings and confirmations by legitimate wildlife and environment officials have found that now the Bull Shark has made it up through the OHIO RIVER, which is the river that MY TOWN is located on. We are nowhere NEAR an ocean, so the last thing we worry about is sharks, but now we have to. Not only are these sharks behaving unusually, but the Bull Shark is considered to be the most aggressive species of shark and are extremely dangerous. They average around 8 to 12 feet in length.
http://www.npca.org/marine_and_coastal/marine_wildlife/avoid_attack.html
Look under the "bad customers" subheading.

This is truly scary :O because I kayak there.

[which doctor]

I watched a movie once where they mentioned more people are killed by falling vending machines each year than by sharks.

I don't think there's any reason to be afraid.

[A.R.Amistad]

I read that one of these sharks killed a racehorse on the banks of the Brisbane river.

[scarletghoul]

Holy shit, you kayak where there is sharks ?!? Do you know how many there are

[A.R.Amistad]

Holy shit, you kayak where there is sharks ?!? Do you know how many there are


Well its the last time I'm kayaking there. My best friend saw one in the river near his house, and hes one of the biggest skeptics I know, so......

[Melebeb]

I think you are gonna need a bigger kayak...

[scarletghoul]

Why not try canoeing instead.

[bcbm]

on the mississippi you say? i'll take care of yer shark, but i want ten grand.
http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/080220/Oscars/Robert-Shaw-Jaws_l.jpg

[A.R.Amistad]

One word everybody....harpoon. ;)

[which doctor]

on the mississippi you say? i'll take care of yer shark, but i want ten grand.
http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/080220/Oscars/Robert-Shaw-Jaws_l.jpg

That post really made me think of Bill Murray in Caddyshack.

http://www.readingeagle.com/blog/zeke/archives/Caddyshack/Caddyshack.jpg

[bcbm]

nah the crazy shark guy in jaws is way cooler.

[Glenn Beck]

At least your river doesn't have skeletal carp in it.

[Bright Banana Beard]

Man the harpoon! We will show those sharks a lesson!

[mykittyhasaboner]

This is truly scary :O because I kayak there.
Eh, just bring a shotgun or something. Or a machete. Or a harpoon, to take a classic approach. The point you should kick the sharks fucking ass if they start shit with you.

[Tyrlop]

what was your address again?

[jake williams]

Getting a harpoon = this being a nonissue, plus you have a harpoon.

[NecroCommie]

I watched a movie once where they mentioned more people are killed by falling vending machines each year than by sharks.

I don't think there's any reason to be afraid.
Falling vending machines are a true peril to reckon with. Those statistics say nothing!

[An archist]

Fucka youuu sharks!!!


(couldn't help it)

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

do you live on a boat?
if not, why does the sharks' proximity to your house matter?

[A.R.Amistad]

Eh, just bring a shotgun or something. Or a machete. Or a harpoon, to take a classic approach. The point you should kick the sharks fucking ass if they start shit with you.

ummmmm......have you ever tried bringing a shotgun on a kayak? Four words: flash in the pan.

[mykittyhasaboner]

ummmmm......have you ever tried bringing a shotgun on a kayak? Four words: flash in the pan.
Perhaps it was a bad idea. Fashion some really sharp paddles then? That's something you can bring on a kayak right?:tt2:

[Dr Mindbender]

i dont think bull sharks are man eaters are they?

[the last donut of the night]

this may have to do with global warming

[mykittyhasaboner]

i dont think bull sharks are man eaters are they?

Actually they are some big, aggressive fish. They are among the breed of sharks that are most likely to attack humans. Almost all recorded shark attacks in Florida are evidently the work of bull sharks.

[Partizani]

Protips to avoiding getting killed by sharks:
Try to ride sharks are the next most frequently attacked group.
DONT RIDE SHARKS
If all else fails, try to look prepared to fight back.
LOOK SCARY
Never molest a shark of any kind, regardless of size.
DONT TRY TO HIT ON THE SHARK
Don't wear contrasting colors or flashing objects.
WEAR FASHIONABLE CLOTHES WHEN SWIMMING

[ZeroNowhere]

Never molest a shark of any kind, regardless of size.I find it interesting and rather scary that they felt it necessary to mention this.

[A.R.Amistad]

Protips to avoiding getting killed by sharks:
Try to ride sharks are the next most frequently attacked group.
DONT RIDE SHARKS
If all else fails, try to look prepared to fight back.
LOOK SCARY
Never molest a shark of any kind, regardless of size.
DONT TRY TO HIT ON THE SHARK
Don't wear contrasting colors or flashing objects.
WEAR FASHIONABLE CLOTHES WHEN SWIMMING


:laugh:

[LOLseph Stalin]

Send my brother to that river. He would love to see the sharks. He's a fanatic. Haha.

[Dr Mindbender]

they say if you are a victim of a shark attack, your best chance of escape is to punch it in the eye.

No joke.

[Sasha]

not eye, nose...

[Jazzratt]

Yeah I always heard nose too.

[Panda Tse Tung]

I wonder if it's true...

[Sasha]

what the punching on the nose bit?

yes its true (http://kwc.org/mythbusters/2005/07/special_jaws_special_1.html) but punching them on the gills seemded to work best.

so conclusion, hit them on the gills!!!!

[Pavlov's House Party]

lets be honest, if you're swimming in a river and you see a fucking shark swimming full speed towards you, sticking your hands in any proximity of its face is probably the furthest thought from your mind

[Dimentio]

Are there actually people stupid enough to try to ride sharks?:thumbup:

[NecroCommie]

Yeah, it's awesome.