The Shop - poetry

[canikickit]

In they come with their smiling, their scheming,
In they come with their happy beaming,
Glad to be filling their life with addiction,
Filling their life with degenerate prediction,

Doubles and trebles, singles only.
A half drunk man, looking weary and lonely,
paid by the chooser, up in the boozer,
to run down to the bookies, and don't back a loser.

"What's the point?", I can't help but wonder.
So many lives, all torn asunder,
by the running, of stunning, ly beautiful animals,
financed and orchestrated by the fattened cannibals.

[Dirty Commie]

did you write it?, it's really good.

[Exploited Class]

"What's the point?", I can't help but wonder.
So many lives, all torn asunder,
by the running, of stunning, ly beautiful animals,
financed and orchestrated by the fattened cannibals.

Okay, wow!

Man if that isn't screaming to be a tag line.

[canikickit]

I wrote it. Don't get carried away though; it's crap.
Well....I kinda like it.

[Exploited Class]

It is not crap.

Stop dissin' on my criticism skills.

Accept the damn compliment ;)

So modest.

[canikickit]

I don't understand your compliment. You mean like a tag line for a film; "A man with only one agenda...to save the woman he loves"?

What an insult!

Anyway, care to guess what my new line of employment is?

The poem itself...I mean, it's just a bunch of words, some of which rhyme. Anyone can do it, it doesn't take (real) talent.

I don't even like poetry. I can't explain it, I tried to write it elsewhere.

I think I'll e-mail this to someone.

[canikickit]

My post didn't show up. Typical!

[hawarameen]

Canikickit - so you work in a pub?

by the way its a cracking poem/bunch of words put together in a sentence with other sentences

[canikickit]

A pub! NOO!
Come on, man.

[Urban Rubble]

That's seriously good, I was reading it with a guitar in my hand and I even made up music to it. Kind of a ska type reggae deal.

Seriously though, really good.

[canikickit]

Thanks. My head is swelling to unparelleled proportions.

[chamo]

Yeah, you work in a bookies, I thought as much.

[hawarameen]

i can see your head from cardiff

[Urban Rubble]

I don't know if you're familiar with the bands Operation Ivy or Common Rider, but it sounds like something Jesse Michaels would write. He's the singer of both bands, it just reminds me of something he would write.

Post more if you write any.

[canikickit]

The Shop - Can They Kick It?

In they come with their doubles and trebles,
All the work shy men and the would be rebels,
Structuring time in futile pursuits,
Some with holes in their clothes and others in suits.

They're approaching the traps, they're now going in;
We wonder if Churchill Billy can win.
The hare is now running, can it succeed?
Trap four takes the bend with a two length lead.

Trap two cuts in but is checked by the one.
This is what some people call fun.
By the running of stunningly beautiful hounds,
Now we've had our quick fix and we've shed many pounds.

Peter L Simons ~ June 2003



Here's a reply or comment on my poem, witten by another good guy, Penny Reel.

[mentalbunny]

I really liked that, cani, you've got talent!

[canikickit]

The Penny Reel one is great too.

[mentalbunny]

Yeah, they're great together!

[Urban Rubble]

Wait, I'm confused ? Who wrote the other one ? Anyway, they're both really good.

[canikickit]

I posted the first poem, "The Shop" on another site, the bloodandfire.co.uk site. One of the members is Penny Reel, a reggae journalist who writes the sleevenotes for some Blood and Fire releases. He writes poetry too, and other stuff in general I guess. He's a good guy.

He wrote the second one.