words of pain - my loss of a best friend to *****yness

[Socialmalfunction]

Fragile

tears of blood run down my face
tears of hate now burn your face
as we fall through this endless void
seeking forgiveness from those which we've toyed

endless sorrow for letting you go
hiding forever how i miss you so
thinking back on times we'd shared
now lost and forlorn with my soul bared

how i loved you, you'll never know
as we journey thru this bitter cold
sharing now this one last glance
before it shatters, my heart of glass
-----

“Best Friend”

Drowning in a pool of self deceit
You have nothing more in life than to suck it up and bleed
Betraying your friends for a backstabbing *****
Everyone hates you, a steaming pile of shit

How does it feel to lose the one you love?
Was it fun holding me down, watching me drown?
Oh and did you have much fun tearing my heart out through my back?
Has anyone ever shown you all those qualities you lack?

Everyone hates you, yet you don’t know why?
Do you remember kicking me in the ass just to watch me fly?
Everyone hates you, does that make you cry?
Or maybe we'd never notice all you pitiful lies?

You are just a waste of flesh and bone
Nothing but an idiotic monster with a heart of stone
Go drown yourself in your blood, shit, and lies
And ill pay no respects as your bastard mind dies
----
two poems of the loss of a best friend... i miss her but she hurt me bad...

[killingstars]

what did she/you do?

(Edited by killingstars at 1:03 pm on Sep. 14, 2002)

[I Bow 4 Che]

I'm sos orry...I don't want to break you even more...but because Im a real ***** and write too much poetry and I'm mean to everyone elses poetry (hey even the famous ones) I didn't like it at all....but the emotion was there...though not portrayed...the emotion is good...and strong and I can relate...luv ya...stay strong they leave...cry...cry till your eyes bleed...then slit...slit the tears from your skin, let it forgive itself, and as for yourself, hate the after glow
-my advice to you, Blind Elektra

[bluerev002]

well heres one i wrote a while back, its not good. but here we go, just to show you taht your not alone.

MY friend
YOu said it was okay.
you said it was allright,
i could step into the light
we shard fun times
we spoke long hours
but when you finally tierd of me
you pushed me back into the darkness
that was my life before
as i hit hte ground
and look around
i see that this is where im meant to be
this is my life
a dark shadow of despair, hatred
and all around a book shelf of answers
oh what ive learnde here
so htis is were i stay
and the light,
the thin little light peeking through
will always be there
just incase

WELL THAT WASNT GOOD, BUT HERES ANOTHER ONE

my friend
this is hard
i said i hate you
i made you cry
but you get over it
now the cryings mine
my hate is anger
my anger...is dispair
my friend i love you
and ive always cared
i see yiour face
one ive missed ever so
but now im seeing
i was wrong
i cannot hate you
the dark sky and the light is very dim
of the summer sun
time si running short
but i will not say why
i wont say im sorry
you deserv all this
but it seems im suffering
while to you im a miss
its my loss really
i am alone
hwile you have friends
so many
and i have so little......none
they are groeins dimmer
fading
as i soon realize, their not my friends
ppl who are fun to be wiht
but wiht them i cant laugh
to them i am not real
to themn i am a crazy little boy
but you my friend
you saw me in a way
a way a friend should see things
my friend you were a *****
ignorant, very ignorant
bur you were always my friend

WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT. I TOLD YOU GUYS I CANT WRITE. I CANT! I TRY AND TRY BUT IT WHEN I GET SOMETHING GOOD IN MY HEAD, BY THE TIME I GET PAPER. ITS GONE. AH WELL,

[I Bow 4 Che]

Yeah you guys dont stick with writing...though smf wasn't that bad...bluerev...ehh?

[bluerev002]

heh heh...............:biggrin:

told yah, i really suck at it.

does this mean i die now?

[I Bow 4 Che]

oh no no no no no!!! Don't die...you'll just give me something else to hate myself for...what you lack in writing skills you make up for in other things...by far

*is green with envy*

Okies now that I'm done kissing ass....whos life is left to ruin....hrmmmm

*JK*

[bluerev002]

.............................................right

well in conclusion i just felt like killing that damn ***** (my friend not you IB4C).

[Socialmalfunction]

lol hey thanks for posting. im pretty much over all that shit but i wanted to get it out. oh but i do want to thank IB4C for being honest, but believe me, no one is harder on my poetry than me, which is why i dont normally share. so dont worry, im not all that fragile. that and i dont look much to people for liking my stuff, as long as they can relate i've done my job.

[bluerev002]

i still say i should die for posting poopy poems

[Socialmalfunction]

nah, as they were kool. and as long as they are from the heart, skrew what everyone else thinks. poems are from you, for you, for your satisfaction, no one else's. if they like it fine, if they dont... well their loss, right?

[I Bow 4 Che]

correct...you're a genius ^ -lots'o'love

[mentalbunny]

on the theme of friendship another shitty poem (not saying yours are crap, but that this topic doesn't inspire much greatness):

Soul mate
Lying down, I can’t see your face,
But still, I know.
The sobs that wrack your body
Leave tearstains on your pillow.

Dried blood on the blade,
Those slashes on your arm
I see your mental pain
Turn to my own self-harm.

I must be strong to see you through
Although it’s tough, I must be True.
True to my promise, true to myself
True to the friendship above all else.

you may have seen it on another poetry thread.

by the way i think social malfunction's poems were quite good, they'd make AWESOME lyrics!!!!

[bluerev002]

Quote: from mentalbunny on 10:01 pm on Sep. 19, 2002
on the theme of friendship another shitty poem (not saying yours are crap, but that this topic doesn't inspire much greatness):

Soul mate
Lying down, I can’t see your face,
But still, I know.
The sobs that wrack your body
Leave tearstains on your pillow.

Dried blood on the blade,
Those slashes on your arm
I see your mental pain
Turn to my own self-harm.

I must be strong to see you through
Although it’s tough, I must be True.
True to my promise, true to myself
True to the friendship above all else.

you may have seen it on another poetry thread.

by the way i think social malfunction's poems were quite good, they'd make AWESOME lyrics!!!!

that one is a nice one. ........it just shows what a crapy friend i was. ................

social malfunction, your right.

[Socialmalfunction]

yea thanks blue, itswhy i write everything i have, and i have over 30, 3 or 4 of which i wrote for my boyfriend, eric. and thanks mental bunny, you have no idea what that means to me. i have what may be called low self esteem and thats why im not too fond of sharing what i do have. but yeah, alot of my stuff were written to be songs. :cheesy: so yeah, write from the heart and itll rock (i liked you poem too!)

[Infamy]

yea thanks blue, itswhy i write everything i have, and i have over 30, 3 or 4 of which i wrote for my boyfriend, eric.

awww thanx mama. I LOVE YOU!!!!

to not be on the biased side, i would have to say that i like the poems. anyway you can express your feelings, is a good thing. thats what i have always told you mama. i like the way your poems can flow, where as mines suck horribly. oh well, glad to see that you were willing to post them. and remember, i like them, and i love you.

(Edited by Infamy at 8:12 pm on Sep. 19, 2002)

[Socialmalfunction]

aww thanks papa! :cheesy: i love you too! and i love writing poems for you :)

[johnnymanchester]

while i tend not to like repeting rhyme schemes, i think these two poems, especially the last one, and very heart felt and a true reflection of her deep emotion and fellings toward this person. i think it's bad to tell someone to stop writing just because one may not like or agree with what that person is trying to say. poetry is open thought, and is not meant to be judged or criticized. but that's just my opinion.

[oriosky]

Hey
I think your first poem was alright, the rhyming seemed a bit strectched but the second poem kicked ass! I can relate hehe and yeah alot of emotion!

[trash kitty]

welcome oriosky

yeah i write alot of poems and things but with such opinionated people here im too scared to post them, plus you guys would find them weird.

peace and love

trash

[bluerev002]

heh, no one liked me poems.........welcome to the board you guys!! thrash kitty i know how you feel, i didnt want to poast my poem either, and well they also found it weird and no one understood it. ::sigh::

[mentalbunny]

socialmalfunction, no problem, i suffer from low self esteem as well.

bluerev, you're poem's aren't bad at all! i've got aoubt a thousand words of pure emotion on my computer i'll share some of the better ones with you, they're a bit twisted, i hope you don't mind...

Addicted to you
Though you’re killing me
Heart held out for you to snatch away
I love you too much
And you know it
As you tear me apart
I see the look in your eyes
Saying you have no choice.

* * *

Little pain
Broken glass
empty pane
crimson blood
down the drain

* * *

Death of a daughter
Blood seeps under the door, like liquid ruby, glinting in fluorescent light. The shiny lino becomes scarlet under the water of life. Don’t open the door, you don’t know what you’ll see, a young girl naked and torn. Her legs spread open, her pert breasts bathed in crimson. And standing beside her, her father with the knife, 12 inches of steel wrapped in her pure blood.

* * *
anger
black , red, white, searing heat.
pounding you into the floor
fallen at my feet

* * *

they're all a bit random, not polished or anything, i'm still working on them.

[bluerev002]

Addicted to you
Though you’re killing me
Heart held out for you to snatch away
I love you too much
And you know it
As you tear me apart
I see the look in your eyes
Saying you have no choice.


WWHYY?!!! OH WHY?!!!

DAMMIT!! YOUR POEM REMINDED ME OF MY FRIEND!!! OH ITS THE EXACT SAME THING, ITS LIKE YOU SAW THROUGH MY EYES AND WROTE THAT POME METAL!!!

[Socialmalfunction]

CURSED
living in a nightmare
my own slice of hell
running from my demons
caught up in their spell

dying in my world
alone in this life
so much I cannot handle
so much I have to fight

blinded by my hate
searching for a love
running from my fate
cursed from up above

[Socialmalfunction]

whoa yeah most of my poems are about my family and shit. like, wait ill post this other poem on the next post.

[Socialmalfunction]

WE'RE THROUGH
she screams and yells
pushing me further into hell
i'm sad and depressed
coming closer to my death
am i really stupid?
or were you just mad?
am i really ugly?
or were you just sad?
whats wrong with me?
i try so hard
but it always comes off wrong
you hate me dont you?
i can see it in your eyes
even when i adored you
you thought it was all lies
im not worth anything
im a lousy piece of shit
isnt that what you said?
well fuck it, that's it!
i cant take it
i wont take it
this is done
we're through

that one i wrote about my mom, but i was mad and i still do love her. we just have major problems :cheesy:

[mentalbunny]

Quote: from bluerev002 on 2:49 am on Oct. 2, 2002
Addicted to you
Though you’re killing me
Heart held out for you to snatch away
I love you too much
And you know it
As you tear me apart
I see the look in your eyes
Saying you have no choice.


WWHYY?!!! OH WHY?!!!

DAMMIT!! YOUR POEM REMINDED ME OF MY FRIEND!!! OH ITS THE EXACT SAME THING, ITS LIKE YOU SAW THROUGH MY EYES AND WROTE THAT POME METAL!!!



It's actually about my best friend who I was in love with, but he kpet on going off with other girls. We discussed it several times, nothing new was said but the pain didn't change. That was some of the worst months of my life. Now he's far away and I miss him so much, I had no idea what it would feel like but he's left this huge hole in my soul and I'm finding it so hard without him here to support me.

emptiness fills me
negative content of my soul
void swallows me, heavy on my heart
come home and save me from myself

i'm talking to the air
a vacuum of despair
alone in the universe
me and my pain

just rolled that off, sorry if it's shit, it only works on one level I'm afraid.

[Socialmalfunction]

that wasnt crap. that was koolness..

[bluerev002]

Quote: from mentalbunny on 9:49 pm on Oct. 2, 2002

Quote: from bluerev002 on 2:49 am on Oct. 2, 2002
Addicted to you
Though you’re killing me
Heart held out for you to snatch away
I love you too much
And you know it
As you tear me apart
I see the look in your eyes
Saying you have no choice.


WWHYY?!!! OH WHY?!!!

DAMMIT!! YOUR POEM REMINDED ME OF MY FRIEND!!! OH ITS THE EXACT SAME THING, ITS LIKE YOU SAW THROUGH MY EYES AND WROTE THAT POME METAL!!!



It's actually about my best friend who I was in love with, but he kpet on going off with other girls. We discussed it several times, nothing new was said but the pain didn't change. That was some of the worst months of my life. Now he's far away and I miss him so much, I had no idea what it would feel like but he's left this huge hole in my soul and I'm finding it so hard without him here to support me.

emptiness fills me
negative content of my soul
void swallows me, heavy on my heart
come home and save me from myself

i'm talking to the air
a vacuum of despair
alone in the universe
me and my pain

just rolled that off, sorry if it's shit, it only works on one level I'm afraid.



...........yah............same thing.............large empyt space.
...same old .......same old........

[mentalbunny]

bloody hell, what do you want? a Nobel prize winning piece? i'm not a genius y'know, i was only trying to get some feelings out into proper words, not trying to be profoud, as some i know said:

"there are no such things as profoundities, only new superficialities". take this on board, everything has been felt or said before.

[bluerev002]

haha ^.^() sorry bout that, it was just so interesting on how ppl who dont know each other feel da same way on a certain subject, other than communism and politics and stuff. ill shush now........

[Socialmalfunction]

complete agreeal with mentalbunny. we dont write to write what someone has never wrote before. i, for one, write to express myself in the most profound way i can. i can draw and write stories, im an all around artist, but im a poet at heart. my life and love is the written word. i know so many others that if it werent for poems would be dead write now. poetry is a way of life, not a way to fame or approval of peers for that matter.

[mentalbunny]

since this thread is called words of pain, I'm going on a rant:

I HATE THIS PLACE, I HATE LIVING, BREATHING, EATING THE SHIT MY CONSERVATIVE FAMILY FEED ME WHEN THEY COULD BE GIVING IT TO THOSE WHO ARE REALLY HUNGRY!

I HATE HAVING MY HEART BROKEN ALMOST EVERY TIME I TALK TO THE PEROSN I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. I HATE IT WHEN I FEEL LIKE I HATE HIM, COS I KNOW THAT I CAN NEVER DO THAT. I HATE PEOPLE MENTIONING MY EX, EXPECTING ME TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM NOW, EXPECTING ME TO NOT GET ANGRY WHEN HE MESSED UP MY HEAD.

I HATE FEELING USELESS, BEING USELESS. I HATE MY MUM OF ALL PEOPLE MAKING MY FEEL LIKE I DO EVERYTHING WRONG, THAT MY FRIENDS ARE BAD PEOPLE.

I HATE LIFE, I HATE HUMANITY, I WANT TO DIE. WILL ANYONE MISS ME, WILL ANYONE CARE. WORDS ARE EMPTY, EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS THEM DIFFERENTLY. IF I CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH ANOTHER HUMAN FROM THE SAME CULTURE IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR THE NATIONS ON DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE METAPHORICAL COIN? TELL ME WHY I SHOULD BOTHER! I BET I CAN FIRE A MILLION REASONS BACK AT YOU TO TELL YUO WHY RESISTANCE IS FUTILE AND WE SHOULD ALL THROW OURSELVES, HEAD FIRST, INTO THE ABYSS OF DESTRUCTION.

[Socialmalfunction]

dood, right on... it makes such perfect sense. but fuck man, the person that i had started this thread because of is at it again. fucking hell, its been months since she's even seen me and she is talking shit about me still. she's trying to make me out to be a slut to my friends. it hurts like fucking hell! she wasthe one person i thought would be there always and she fucked me over and is still doing it from afar. thats fucking bull shit. and all this because me and my bf decided to go our seperate ways (well, i decided, but i think we both might just be happier for it), and we are still friends and still talk, and yeah i still love him but we just arent together kuz its best for now like this. well anyway so one of my friends asked me out and i said yes, and now fred, the damned *****, is using that as a means to talk shit when she doent even know whats going on and the only way she could is if someone told her. grrrrrr..... sorry thats my rant.

[Infamy]

well, yes i am the ex-boyfriend, and i don't think it was at all kewl of fred to start talking shit. she doesn't know what went on. but for the most part i wasn't too sure what went on either. but she made her decision and there wasn't anything i could do about it. when telling people that you had a bf, they questioned it, and didn't like it. i didn't like it cause of the fact that i still wanted you back, and you being with another guy freaked me out. but we are moving on, i have to live with it. i can't sit and wait. have fun people tell me. and i shall. its not finding a new gf that bothers me, its losing what i had. i'll never regret anything about erica, and i hope she never regrets me. i still love her, and i am glad we are still friends. thanx for the memories mama. and im sure we can still have a lot more.

(Edited by Infamy at 10:11 pm on Nov. 14, 2002)

[mentalbunny]

Quote: from Infamy on 6:08 am on Nov. 15, 2002
well, yes i am the ex-boyfriend, and i don't think it was at all kewl of fred to start talking shit. she doesn't know what went on. but for the most part i wasn't too sure what went on either. but she made her decision and there wasn't anything i could do about it. when telling people that you had a bf, they questioned it, and didn't like it. i didn't like it cause of the fact that i still wanted you back, and you being with another guy freaked me out. but we are moving on, i have to live with it. i can't sit and wait. have fun people tell me. and i shall. its not finding a new gf that bothers me, its losing what i had. i'll never regret anything about erica, and i hope she never regrets me. i still love her, and i am glad we are still friends. thanx for the memories mama. and im sure we can still have a lot more.

(Edited by Infamy at 10:11 pm on Nov. 14, 2002)


god i'm jealous of you two, no matter how much it hurts now you aren't together, you were once and you have your memories. why did i fall in lvoe with a guy who will never love me back in the same way?

[Socialmalfunction]

first, to eric, yes, we will always have our memories for which i have to thank you. we have had some great times over the past 2 years. i thank you soooooooo much for that. you gave me what no one else could at that time, hope and love. and ill always love you for that and ill always be your friend. if you ever need me, feel free to call. but fred's a fucking shit ass bastard and can back the fuck out of shit that she cant understand. to bunny, im sorry. but then i am also a firm believer in that there is someone for everyone. im sure you'll find that someone and when you do, pain, anger, happiness you'd felt in the past will be nothing