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View Full Version : My Poem: PLEASE READ - if you liked revolution heros poem...



anti machine
24th August 2002, 17:15
THE DAWN OF DARKNESS

A docile breeze, sent from the stars
Traveling across the dry, desolate fields
Rustling the leaves of time
On the eve of desperation-

I stand alone.

Breathing in,
My nostrils burning with the scent of morning.

Dawn has broken.

I stretch out my hand,
Extending my soul to the heavens,
Try to reach a star
Just beyond my grasp.
A tear falls silently from my tired eye
Upon the dusty ground
On a dying land.
"Who are you?" I choke,
An exhausted frustration.
A star winks back at me,
Then dissapears with the rising of the sun.

In a futile gesture of impulsive angst, I scream.
My anger echoes throughout the Universe,
A message of rage coherant to every ear
As the breeze envelops my being, drying my tears.
Those whom my voice touches shiver in fear.
Others listen, heads raised, adhering to my call.

But He for whom my cry is intended...
Hears nothing.
He who formed the stars,
And molded evil in His hands...
Hears nothing.
For God is dead.

-Anti machine

Valkyrie
25th August 2002, 02:45
Outstanding comrade! All of you are very talented writers and poets.

anti machine
25th August 2002, 04:15
gracius, paris, gracius

Ian
25th August 2002, 12:20
Deep man, that's deep. Good poem comrade

Felicia
28th August 2002, 00:39
That is a deep poem. Mano, mano, I wish I could write like that :)

anti machine
29th August 2002, 03:46
thanks all :)

Revolution Hero
29th August 2002, 09:58
Unlike my poem, which is too superficial, yours is full of the deep thoughts. CONGRATULATIONS!
That's a good poem, but it doesn't rhyme. Maybe that is the reason for it's deepness.

Anonymous
29th August 2002, 15:18
That's a good poem, but it doesn't rhyme

poems dont have to ryme

boadicea88
30th August 2002, 07:22
Wow, comrade! Good poem! Ooooo-eeeee!

Revolution Hero
30th August 2002, 09:50
Quote: from the anarchist on 1:18 am on Aug. 30, 2002

That's a good poem, but it doesn't rhyme

poems dont have to ryme


I know. But it is easier to write those, which don't rhyme, than those which actually rhyme.
Also, rhymed poems sound more classical.

SLMNM
2nd September 2002, 04:10
hi everyone i am a new writer and i thought you might want to read one of my poem. it doesn't ryhm but it has something made me like it myself

constraction is human contradiction
fiction the page of decision
ration smaller fact of condition
struction claim and fell on succumbs
run from your ambition follow the true position
sex posses kiss posses
here i come with a better method
jump from higher position
dunk into lower settlement
don't stay in bed unless you make money in bed
as george burns said
come on do something faithful
gradual better than ever
don't disturb the universe by your sarcastic mentality
morality is social respectation

poem coming to my head
quotes took my breath
but i should stop it right here
before i thick the poem
thanks for che here we are exchanging messages
it gives live to your conscious


sholud i end my poem by saying nice to meet u all or stayhuman


(Edited by SLMNM at 9:21 pm on Sep. 1, 2002)

Felicia
4th September 2002, 00:11
SLMNM,
stayhuman.
I liked your poem, I read it like a hip hop rap though :)