commie and anti-cappie jokes.

[BIG BROTHER]

post your commie jokes/anti-cappie jokes. Here is mine:

How many capitalist does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because capitalist don't do anything, workers do! >_<


A Karl Marx insult:

"Your mother is like my socio-economic theory...Every worker gets a share!"

[Muzk]

... okay, old, changed jokes
I found a site with some, I'll give you slightly changed one




Teacher: "Kids, what is tragedy?"
Kid #1: "If my doggie died, that were a big tragedy!"
Teacher: "Nope, László, that's not right! If your doggie dies, that's a problem, but not a tragedy!"
Then she explains...
Teacher: "If our great prezident, komrade Stalin died, that vere a tragedy!"
Then she asks if they got it right...
Kid #2: "Yes! I understand! So, if komrade Stalin died, that were a tragedy, but certainly that wouldn't be a problem!"


That's the funniest on the site.. didn't even get any of the others... they were rather discriminating and probably only funny to tight assed republicans laughing for no reason

[BIG BROTHER]

come on guys i know you all some sort of jokes!!! or Mao is not the time?

Here's another joke:

If you are Russian for a drink, quit Stalin and go for it!

[BIG BROTHER]

or I got bad Marx in school. Geometry was specially bad...it had to many Engles! >_<

[Angry Young Man]

Wank, wank and wank.

One from Russia, unfortunately never made about yuppies in the 80s (New Russians are essentially Loadsa Money)

Two yuppies are sat in a posh cafe in Moscow. One says 'do you like my new tie? Cost 400 Rubles'
The other one says 'you got ripped off, mate. If you went to that shop down there, you'da got it twice the price!'

[Sarah Palin]

Boss to employee: "Young man, you have risen very fast in this company. Two years ago, you began as an office boy. In a couple of months, you were a clerk. Then, you became a salesman, after that assistant manager, then manager. Now you are the vice president of the company. What have you to say about all this?"

Employee: "Thanks, Dad".

[NecroCommie]

This one was popular in russia during the 90's I hear.

-What did capitalism achieve in one year that communism could not achieve in 70?

-It made communism look good. :laugh:

[BIG BROTHER]

This one was popular in russia during the 90's I hear.

-What did capitalism achieve in one year that communism could not achieve in 70?

-It made communism look good. :laugh:

lol that one rocks.

[BIG BROTHER]

Trotskyst pick up lines:

(10) You mean you share my critique of Mandel's interpretation of Kondratiev's long wave theory? Wow, we have so much in common!
(9) Let’s get out of here. I know a much cozier little Marxist bookstore downtown.
(8) I bet I can guess your party cadre name.
(7) Sorry, but I just wanted to tell you how stunning you look in that secondhand donkey jacket while carrying a bundle of Socialist Workers under your arm ...
(6) I used to read Trotsky ... but then I drifted.
(5) Is that the Transitional Programme in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?
(4) That secondhand donkey jacket of yours would look great on my bedroom floor.
(3) What's a nice girl like you doing in a lousy union fraction like this?
(2) Do you sell papers here often?
(1) So, babe ... just how degenerate would your ideal workers' state be?

[BIG BROTHER]

Bonus: 'Don't suppose there's any chance of seizing control of your means of production, love?'

[BIG BROTHER]

some more extra pick up lines:

(6) Hey sweet thang, wanna dictate my proletariat?
(5) Is your father a commissar of production and distribution? Because he surely expropriated some bourgeois diamonds for your eyes ...
(4) Hey baby, if I said you had a peasantry capable of being led by a tiny working class would you hold it against me?
(3) Wanna see my bra? It's a size (provisional) CC.
(2) Trotsky was all for women's lib, you know ... have you heard of Nadezhda Krupskaya?
(1) Are you a girl? Please will you talk to me. I promise not to mention Trotsky.
Extra-special bonus Posadist pick-up line: Did it hurt? When you fell from your sexy spaceship come to liberate the proletariat?

[RedRise]

These are brilliant!:laugh:where do you find this stuff?

[BIG BROTHER]

...internet?... :P

[jake williams]

(4) Hey baby, if I said you had a peasantry capable of being led by a tiny working class would you hold it against me?
Fucking brilliant.

[h0m0revolutionary]

Three men sit in a jail in KGB headquarters. The first asks the second why he has been imprisoned, and he says, "Because I criticized Karl Radek ." The first man responds, "But I am here because I spoke out in favor of Radek!" They turn to the third man who has been sitting quietly in the back, and ask him why he is in jail too. He responds, "I'm Karl Radek."

The best one though:
The KGB, the GIGN (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GIGN) and the CIA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CIA) are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The GIGN goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming. The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

[h0m0revolutionary]

Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country. Stalin says, "Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue." "Why blue?" Putin asks. "Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."

[Angry Young Man]

Stalinist chat-up line: "Sit on my face and your village doesn't burn to the ground"

Anyway, BB, yor doen it rong! It's '"hey baby! Wanna collectivise our means of production?"

[Bilan]

God I hate communists.

[ZeroNowhere]

The Frankfurt School.

Edit: Well, excepting Grossman perhaps.

[LOLseph Stalin]

Many of you have probably heard this one before, but here it goes:


A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

Also, there's the sectarianism of Trotskyism:


What happens when you put five Trotskyists in a room together?

You get six Internationals.

Apologies in advance for the lame jokes. :(

[Sam_b]

There was me thinking that jokes were supposed to be funny.

[LOLseph Stalin]

Do you find anything funny? :rolleyes:

[Sam_b]

The fact you got in the CC, pehaps.

[More Fire for the People]

The Frankfurt School.

Edit: Well, excepting Grossman perhaps.
:lol: Awesome. I don't agree at all but still the best response so far.

[LOLseph Stalin]

The fact you got in the CC, pehaps.

Oooo...harsh...

[Il Medico]

Oooo...harsh...
That is just how Sam rolls. That one about Capitalism screwing the working class is a classic.

[Искра]

My 2 originals.

What did Lenin said when he was on the toilet in 1918?
"here it goes, slowly, slowly.... "

If there's no logic what kind of philosophy faculty is this? Theology.

[Killfacer]

Sam is right, these are some really shit jokes.

[LOLseph Stalin]

That is just how Sam rolls. That one about Capitalism screwing the working class is a classic.

Hehe. ;)


Sam is right, these are some really shit jokes.

Aww, don't tell me you hate fun too. :(

[BIG BROTHER]

Also, there's the sectarianism of Trotskyism:


What happens when you put five Trotskyists in a room together?

You get six Internationals.

Apologies in advance for the lame jokes. :(

I like that one...nothing better than some laughint at one's self :P

[Il Medico]

Aww, don't tell me you hate fun too. :(
Of course Killfacer hates fun! Don't you know 'facer' is English slang for fun? He wants to KILL fun. Plain and simple.

[Honggweilo]

It commits genocide through opera, but is generally considered to be a "nice man in person"

Paul Potts


A englishman, a frenchman, and a russian are staring at a painting of adam and eve. The Englishman looks at it and says "i think this scene resembles england; they were banished from paradise because they didnt adhere to victorian chasity".. Then the Frenchman looks at it and says "i think this scene resembles France; the snake resembles napoleon and adam and eve the french revolution, who was betrayed by his treacherousy".. Then the Russian takes a look at it and says "i think this scene represents the Soviet Union; They dont have any clothes and they are told they are living in paradise"..


thought i add to the shitfest of lame jokes XD

[Wanted Man]

God I hate communists.

If this thread is the best example of humour, we might as well call it quits. :(

[Killfacer]

Of course Killfacer hates fun! Don't you know 'facer' is English slang for fun? He wants to KILL fun. Plain and simple.

:glare: i am mr fun

[scarletghoul]

why was trotsky killed?

because he was a wanker

[Killfacer]

why was trotsky killed?

because he was a wanker

we have a winner

[NecroCommie]

Another Russian one. This expects that you know a bit about USSR leaders.

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev and Gorbachev were travelling in a train when the journey came to a sudden halt. A landslide had cut the tracks and the train driver was asking the great leaders what to do.

Lenin told the driver to gather local workers to dig the tracks open and then continue the journey. Stalin shouted: "if the train is not moving within 30 minutes I will shoot the driver!" Khrushchev called the driver to hold a committee on how to best organize a sub-committee which would motivate the passengers to voluntarily dig up the tracks without angering the local farm which blah blah blah... Gorbachev on the other hand closed the curtains, told the workers to shake the train-car and pretended that the train was moving.

What does this teach us about leading?

Lenin showed us how a country is led! Stalin showed us how a country should be led. Khrushchev showed how just about any idiot can run a country. Gorbachev showed how just any idiot certainly can't run a country.

[Искра]

this is a horror story not a joke :crying:

[BIG BROTHER]

Another Russian one. This expects that you know a bit about USSR leaders.

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev and Gorbachev were travelling in a train when the journey came to a sudden halt. A landslide had cut the tracks and the train driver was asking the great leaders what to do.

Lenin told the driver to gather local workers to dig the tracks open and then continue the journey. Stalin shouted: "if the train is not moving within 30 minutes I will shoot the driver!" Khrushchev called the driver to hold a committee on how to best organize a sub-committee which would motivate the passengers to voluntarily dig up the tracks without angering the local farm which blah blah blah... Gorbachev on the other hand closed the curtains, told the workers to shake the train-car and pretended that the train was moving.

What does this teach us about leading?

Lenin showed us how a country is led! Stalin showed us how a country should be led. Khrushchev showed how just about any idiot can run a country. Gorbachev showed how just any idiot certainly can't run a country.

Isn't there an alternative version were one of the leaders (I forget his name) just tells everyone to pain the windows black and pretend the train was moving or something like that?

[Panda Tse Tung]

Yeah, the original has Brezhnev in it, and them taking turns. So first Lenin tries, THEN Stalin tries, etc...
And the last bit is actually a separate joke (not part of the original).

[BIG BROTHER]

hey guys what do you think about this? I think is posibly the biggest joke ever:







Capitalism >_<

[RedRise]

Lol:lol::rolleyes:

[LOLseph Stalin]

hey guys what do you think about this? I think is posibly the biggest joke ever:







Capitalism >_<

Now we have a winner! :lol:

[Sam_b]

Fail.

[Killfacer]

Fail.

Agreed

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

Now we have a winner! :lol:

omfg, workers being oppressed!
hilarious

[gorillafuck]

These are all pretty bad.

[LOLseph Stalin]

I guess Commies lack in the humour department or need to make up new jokes.

[Marxist1917]

How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the forces of change and revolution will come from within the light bulb itself.

What do Marxists put on their spaghetti?
Communist Manipesto

[Rusty Shackleford]

How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the forces of change and revolution will come from within the light bulb itself.

What do Marxists put on their spaghetti?
Communist Manipesto

Communist Manipesto for the win! and the first wasnt haha funny but it was clever ^^

[NecroCommie]

Yeah, the original has Brezhnev in it, and them taking turns. So first Lenin tries, THEN Stalin tries, etc...
And the last bit is actually a separate joke (not part of the original).
I might have made some mistakes so you are propably right. I had to go by memory alone as I could not find where I had seen the original one.

[Angry Young Man]

BB is a lamentable box of wank, but there have been some good jokes. Some. And there are a million good left-wing jokes out there. Just because Sam's a miserable wanker doesn't mean you have to let your spirits collapse.

Except you, big brother. Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day.

[Sam_b]

Does Angry Young Man count as a communist joke? Or just his organisation?

[Angry Young Man]

Though how can one know a joke when you have no joy?

[BIG BROTHER]

BB is a lamentable box of wank, but there have been some good jokes. Some. And there are a million good left-wing jokes out there. Just because Sam's a miserable wanker doesn't mean you have to let your spirits collapse.

Except you, big brother. Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day.


Is that a complement?:confused:

and come on guys, i see more wining about how lame the jokes are than jokes themselves.

[LOLseph Stalin]

and come on guys, i see more wining about how lame the jokes are than jokes themselves.

I second this.

[Angry Young Man]

Then write one that doesn't suck.

[ZeroNowhere]

Do most people posting jokes in this thread find them funny? Because that would be scary.
Though the joke I named was crap, of course.

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

A petit bourgeois man walks into a bar
He's an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family

Yo labour aristocratic mama is so fat due to her unlimited access to food and her sedentary lifestyle, that she was instructed by the doctor to adhere strictly to a low carbohydrate, high fiber diet to reduce the risk of heart disease or even heart failure later in life.

Q: What did the pig say to the communist militants?
A: "You're under arrest"

Q: How do you stop the capitalists from oppressing workers?
A: Overthrow the bourgeois state and dismantle its instruments of class domination

[Pogue]

A petit bourgeois man walks into a bar
He's an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family

Yo labour aristocratic mama is so fat due to her unlimited access to food and her sedentary lifestyle, that she was instructed by the doctor to adhere strictly to a low carbohydrate, high fiber diet to reduce the risk of heart disease or even heart failure later in life.

Q: What did the pig say to the communist militants?
A: "You're under arrest"

Q: How do you stop the capitalists from oppressing workers?
A: Overthrow the bourgeois state and dismantle its instruments of class domination

http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/1323/failbfq.jpg (http://img15.imageshack.us/i/failbfq.jpg/)

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

:(

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-humour

[Angry Young Man]

If the tories had a heart between them, they'd sell it.

[ZeroNowhere]

A petit bourgeois man walks into a bar
He's an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family

Yo labour aristocratic mama is so fat due to her unlimited access to food and her sedentary lifestyle, that she was instructed by the doctor to adhere strictly to a low carbohydrate, high fiber diet to reduce the risk of heart disease or even heart failure later in life.

Q: What did the pig say to the communist militants?
A: "You're under arrest"

Q: How do you stop the capitalists from oppressing workers?
A: Overthrow the bourgeois state and dismantle its instruments of class dominationSorry, it was only ever remotely funny when it involved chickens and roads.

Anyways, if we're going to be making crappy jokes, we may as well make crappy and generic jokes (so that people don't accuse us of being unable to create a good joke, and hence a good society, since we're just ripping off instead, thus opposing copyright law or something. See, a joke about copyright law. Crappy and generic.) So, for example, three men walk into a bar, an Indian, an Englishman and a Mexican. One would have done something stupid reflecting a stereotype of his country, but the working class has no country.

[NecroCommie]

A communist walks into a store

...

...

...

AND THE OTHER ONE HAS A HAT TOO!!!

[ZeroNowhere]

A worker walks into a bar, but does not get hurt because he is wearing a hard hat, as all true workers do.

Bars are generic, stores are not.

[jake williams]

So, for example, three men walk into a bar, an Indian, an Englishman and a Mexican. One would have done something stupid reflecting a stereotype of his country, but the working class has no country.
That's actually awesome. I think you're getting it.

[BIG BROTHER]

http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm182/don_quijote89/1085.jpg

What did Karl Marx tell to Bakunin?

"Bakunin you have no class"


http://moronail.net/img/1085_REAGANOMICS_%26quotWe_told_them_the_wealth_wo uld_politics

[ZeroNowhere]

What did Karl Marx tell to Bakunin?

"Bakunin you have no class"
It's generic, I'll give you that much.

[BIG BROTHER]

Why is a boss like a vending machine?
Neither actually work, but they both take your money!
What's the difference between a Nazi and a bag of shit?
The bag!

What do you call a bunch of fascists skydiving?
Air pollution!

A Nazi, a Priest and a Racist jump off a building at the same time .. who hits the ground first?
Who cares!

What do an apple and a fascist have in common?
They both belong hanging in trees.

What's wrong with four fat cats in a cadillac going off a cliff?
A cadillac seats five!

What do a slinky and a Fascist have in common?
Both are useless and it's fun to watch them both falling down the stairs

[LOLseph Stalin]

What do you call a bunch of fascists skydiving?
Air pollution!


This one was great. :lol:

[Angry Young Man]

Y'see, these jokes are wank because the subjects could be changed. One-liners suck anyway.

[Pirate turtle the 11th]

Q: What do you get when you let red alert fan boys onto the internet?
A: Revleft

[ZeroNowhere]

Y'see, these jokes are wank because the subjects could be changed. One-liners suck anyway.
Why is a black like a vending machine?
Neither actually work, but they both take your money!

What's the difference between a nigger and a bag of shit?
The bag!

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans skydiving?
Air pollution!

A Mexican, a nigger and a Paki jump off a building at the same time .. who hits the ground first?
Who cares!

What do an apple and a nigger have in common?
They both belong hanging in trees.

What's wrong with four Mexicans in a cadillac going off a cliff?
A cadillac seats five!

What do a slinky and a pregnant woman have in common?
Both are useless and it's fun to watch them both falling down the stairs.

Interestingly enough, those are as amusing as the versions including fascists in them. And they also have the potential for humour, unlike the fascist jokes, given previous conversations on the word 'nigger' on Revleft, but I digreess.

[BIG BROTHER]

American Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
French Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
German Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.
Italian Capitalism:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch.
British Capitalism:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
Russian Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
Arkansas Capitalism:
You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda cute…
Hindu Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You worship them.
Swiss Capitalism:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
Canadian Capitalism:
You have two cows.
Let�s make a hockey team, eh?
Chinese Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.
Irish Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You feed them potatoes and wonder why they emigrate.
Israeli Capitalism:
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights.
They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors.
So, who needs people?
Enron Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with
an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine
cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
Cuban Capitalism:
You have two cows.
They try to swim to Florida.
Politically Correct Capitalism:
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo
centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently – aged (but no less
valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
Disney Capitalism:
You have two cows.
They dance & sing.
Microsoft Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You patent them and sue anyone else who has them.
Hollywood Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You give them utter implants and also teach them to bullet-dodge, wall climb and
shoot milk out of their utters on command.
Clinton Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You deny any knowledge of them.
Bureaucratic Capitalism:
You have two cows.
They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers.
You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken
farmers.
The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should
need.
Gore Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You claim you invented them.
Real-World Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You share two cows with your neighbors.
You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the
most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop
dead of starvation.
Australian Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You try to wrestle them.
Iraqi Capitalism:
You have two cows.
They are biochemical weapons.
Perestroika Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
Jewish Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You set them on fire and they burn for 8 days.
Cambodian Capitalism:
You have two cows.
The government takes both and shoots you.
Mormon Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You tell everyone that they should as well.
Military Capitalism:
You have two cows.
The government takes both and drafts you.
Texan Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You teach them to fire guns.
Totalitarian Capitalism:
You have two cows.
The government takes them and denies they ever existed.
Milk is banned.
Nevadan Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You charge lonely men from Arkansas to spend the night with them.
Jehovah�s Witness Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You go door to door telling people that you do.
Bureaucrat Capitalism:
You have two cows.
At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk
them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks
the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out
forms accounting for the missing cows.
Real Capitalism:
You don’t have any cows.
The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to
put up as collateral.
Environmental Capitalism:
You have two cows.
The government bans you from milking them.
Surreal Capitalism:
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Californian Capitalism:
You have two cows.
They are happy.
Bush Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You think that cows and humans can coexist peacefully.
You give all of the milk to the upper class when they have cows of their own, and
the lower class needs milk.
Martha Stewart Capitalism:
You have two cows.
After decorating them, you sell them because a farmer told you the price of milk
might go down.
Ayn Rand Capitalis

[BIG BROTHER]

A young girl asks her father, "Why is it so cold in the house?"

"We don't have any coal", he says.

"But why is there no coal?", she wants to know.

"Because I lost my job", he replies.

Still unsatisfied, she asks one more time—"And why did you lose your job?"

To which he answers, "Because there is too much coal".

[BIG BROTHER]

Question: How many capitalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: None, since we don't need capitalists to screw in light bulbs or any thing else that really needs doing in our society.

[RHIZOMES]

Something famous NZ left activist John Minto said at a protest recently.

"What is the difference between the morals of an SAS soldier and an empty bucket?'

The bucket!"

[Ohnoatard]

A lawyer, a surgeon, a builder and a communist were having an argument about whose trade was older.
'When God condemned Adam and Eve and exiled them from paradise,' said the lawyer, 'that was a legal act! So my profession is the oldest.'
'But please,' the surgeon said, 'before that God created Eve from Adam's rib. And that was a surgical operation! So my profession is older.'
'Forgive me,' said the builder, 'but a little bit earlier than that God created the world, he constructed it. So my profession is the oldest. Because as is known, there was only chaos before that.'
'And who created chaos?' the communist exclaimed triumphantly. 'Certainly, WE communists!'

[Prairie Fire]

Most of this thread is anti-communist jokes and capitalist gags about the USSR(Or, at least, their version of what the USSR was).

I propose a ban for the next persyn to post the "2 cows " joke. It was mildly amusing the first time I saw it, but the novelty wore off years ago, and know it is stale and more than a little bit bourgeois.

[BIG BROTHER]

Most of this thread is anti-communist jokes and capitalist gags about the USSR(Or, at least, their version of what the USSR was).

I propose a ban for the next persyn to post the "2 cows " joke. It was mildly amusing the first time I saw it, but the novelty wore off years ago, and know it is stale and more than a little bit bourgeois.

whats wrong with some self mocking? and i wouldnt go as far as to say that most jokes are anti-commie. Most are mocking of capitalism.

And what a surprise to see a stalinist with their authoritarian comands telling the rest of ppl what to do....

how about you post a joke yourself then?

[Das war einmal]

Why is a boss like a vending machine?
Neither actually work, but they both take your money!
What's the difference between a Nazi and a bag of shit?
The bag!



I laughed

[NecroCommie]

What do you get when you put a cappie baby in a blender?

An erection... :laugh:

[Das war einmal]

What is the difference between a pig and the premier of Italy?

The pig is easy to satisfy (and it cant be elected obviously)

[Das war einmal]

Another one, when I was visiting the red light district in Amsterdam, I saw premier Berlusconi. I asked what he was doing here. He answered: 'I'm looking for new decent ministers'

[BIG BROTHER]

come on keep them coming guys...we gotta show how much creativity Revolutionaries have!

[GracchusBabeuf]

A rare visitor to Soviet Russia in the '50s wants to get the view of the man on the street. He accosts a number of strangers and asks them "What do you think of Stalin?". Each avoids his eye and scurries away until one man, saying nothing but with a barely perceptible nod, signals to the visitor to follow him. Understanding the need to keep his distance he follows the stranger up the road, onto a tram, another tram, a further walk and finally a third tram to a desolate industrial zone. He follows into an abandoned building where he finds his man in a concealed corner and joins him there. "Actually" he says "I quite like him".


Leonid Brezhnev pays a state visit to France and he's given a VIP guided tour of Paris. He's conducted round the splendours of the Élysée Palace, but remains as stony-faced as ever. He's shown the masterpieces of the Louvre, but the curators fail to get any reaction out of him. He's taken to the Arc de Triomphe, but displays not the slightest interest. Eventually, the official motorcade drives him to the foot of the Eiffel Tower, where Brezhnev finally stares up in amazement and astonishment. He turns to his French hosts and asks in bewilderment: "But, Paris is a city of 9 million people... surely you need more than one watchtower?"


"Oh my God! They killed Trotsky!"
"Those Bolsheviks!"

South Gorky Park


Stalin is on his deathbed, dying, and summons Khrushchev. "I know you will beat out the competition and succeed me," Stalin said, "so, for your guidance, I have prepared two letters. Open the first one when you are in trouble with the Party the first time. Open the second one when you are in danger of being deposed."
Khrushchev obeys Stalin and takes the two letters. In 1956, he faces problems with the Party over Hungary and Suez. He opens the first one and reads "Blame everything on me!" So, Khrushchev gives the secret speech condemning Stalin to the Party Congress, causing the tummult to die down.
In 1964, Khrushchev is about to be deposed by Brezhnev and Kosigyn. He opens up the second letter. It said:
"Prepare two letters."



Lenin dies and goes to Hell. A couple of weeks later, God is at the fence and sees the Devil, who is looking a bit upset. "Hey, Satan! What's wrong?"
"Oh," says Satan. "It's that Lenin character. What a pain in the rear!"
God says, "Well, I'm not very busy right now. I'll take him for a while."
Satan perks up. "You will? Thank you very much!" He boots Lenin over.
A couple of weeks later, Satan runs into God, who is walking along in a business-like manner. "Hey, God, how are you doing with Lenin?"
God answers, "First, that's Comrade God. Second, there is no God. Third, I can't stop to talk. I'm late for a Party meeting."

Trotsky walks into a bar
He asks for a vodka
Suddenly he says, NO ICE!



There was a long, long line outside the rationing station, and those part of the queue waited in an unmoving line for hours. Eventually, a man, so fed up with waiting, broke away from the queue and yelled out "I cannot wait any longer! I'm off to assassinate Stalin!", which was recieved with a round of cheer and support.
He returned a few hours later, and rejoined the queue. His comrades asked "How did you go?"
He replied, "There's an even longer line to assassinate Stalin"



From: http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/2008/06/great-item-on-t.html

More here: http://www.coldwarjokes.com/

[BIG BROTHER]

Lenin dies and goes to Hell. A couple of weeks later, God is at the fence and sees the Devil, who is looking a bit upset. "Hey, Satan! What's wrong?"
"Oh," says Satan. "It's that Lenin character. What a pain in the rear!"
God says, "Well, I'm not very busy right now. I'll take him for a while."
Satan perks up. "You will? Thank you very much!" He boots Lenin over.
A couple of weeks later, Satan runs into God, who is walking along in a business-like manner. "Hey, God, how are you doing with Lenin?"
God answers, "First, that's Comrade God. Second, there is no God. Third, I can't stop to talk. I'm late for a Party meeting.

Not the funniest one but I loved it!

[Coggeh]

Q.Why did the communist plane crash ?




A.Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.




.........OK ...OK ... So a technocrat hovers into a bar ...

[Rusty Shackleford]

Two friends are chatting
Friend A: Im a Christian
Friend B: Im a Communist. Did you know there are some people who call themselves Christian-Communists?
Friend A: Everyone makes mistakes my friend.
Friend B: You are talking about Christian part, right?

(this isnt that great, but it came from an experience i had and thought it was a bit funny. feel free to edit it to make it a real knee slapper)

[LOLseph Stalin]

This isn't the exact wording of the joke(I'm going by what I can remember off the top of my head), but here's one:

There were three people meeting in a restaurant for lunch, a Capitalist, a Socialist, and a Communist. The Socialist was late; "Sorry I'm late. I was standing in a queue for sausages."
"What's a queue?" the Capitalist asks.
"What's a sausage?" the Communist asks.

Sorry, it's lame but I still thought it was relevent although it's more on the Anti-Communist side.

[Rusty Shackleford]

What do you call a frustrated Karl Marx?


Groucho Marx

[Luís Henrique]

I second this.

Reformist. I third this.

And anyone who fourths it gets icepicked.

Luís Henrique

[Luís Henrique]

Funny capitalism:

You have 100,000 cows.
You tell people jokes about two cows and capitalism.

Luís Henrique

[punisa]

Did you know that radio Zagreb gave the shortest announcement of Brezhnev's death?
"Moscow today is minus one"

[RedRise]

Funny capitalism:

You have 100,000 cows.
You tell people jokes about two cows and capitalism.

That's brilliant!:laugh:

[The Bear]

Sam is right, these are some really shit jokes.

jokes own , give more :thumbup1:

oh and when u talk jokes skip the part "oh maybe its not that funny ... bla bla bla "

anyway ownage

[Leo]

Stalin's mother visits Moscow in the 30s, and Stalin really wants to impress his mother who hasn't ever really left her small home in Georgia. So the night she arrives, Stalin really wants to impress her so he gives a state reception in her honor, his mother meets the high-ranking party leaders, eat the best food and drink the highest quality drinks. Afterwards Stalin asks his mother: "So what do you think, mother?"

The mother responds: "Hmm, I don't know Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know..."

Stalin is not happy with her mothers reaction, and really becomes obsessed about impressing her. He takes her to the Bolshoi Ballet and they watch it from the lounge, he takes her on a yacht trip on the Volga river, he takes her on a drive in a limo in the streets of Moscow, he buys her a fur coat, he buys her a new car and so forth. The response his mother gives to all after asked what she thinks about them is the same: "Hmm, I don't know Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know..."

Finally, before Stalin's mother is about to leave Moscow for her village in Georgia, Stalin asks her what she thinks and gets the same response. Stalin is really unhappy about it and angrily asks: "Why mother? Why didn't you like any of the things here? I gave a state reception in your honor, I took you to watch the Bolshoi Ballet from the lounge, I took you on a yacht trip on the Volga river, I took you on a drive around the city in a limo, I bought you a fur coat and a new car... What is the problem, why didn't you like any of it?"

Stalin's mother responds: "Well, Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know, I don't know... All of it was really nice but... what if the Bolsheviks come back!"

[The Essence Of Flame Is The Essence Of Change]

In Soviet Russia...:lol:

[Durruti's Ghost]

Stalin's mother visits Moscow in the 30s, and Stalin really wants to impress his mother who hasn't ever really left her small home in Georgia. So the night she arrives, Stalin really wants to impress her so he gives a state reception in her honor, his mother meets the high-ranking party leaders, eat the best food and drink the highest quality drinks. Afterwards Stalin asks his mother: "So what do you think, mother?"

The mother responds: "Hmm, I don't know Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know..."

Stalin is not happy with her mothers reaction, and really becomes obsessed about impressing her. He takes her to the Bolshoi Ballet and they watch it from the lounge, he takes her on a yacht trip on the Volga river, he takes her on a drive in a limo in the streets of Moscow, he buys her a fur coat, he buys her a new car and so forth. The response his mother gives to all after asked what she thinks about them is the same: "Hmm, I don't know Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know..."

Finally, before Stalin's mother is about to leave Moscow for her village in Georgia, Stalin asks her what she thinks and gets the same response. Stalin is really unhappy about it and angrily asks: "Why mother? Why didn't you like any of the things here? I gave a state reception in your honor, I took you to watch the Bolshoi Ballet from the lounge, I took you on a yacht trip on the Volga river, I took you on a drive around the city in a limo, I bought you a fur coat and a new car... What is the problem, why didn't you like any of it?"

Stalin's mother responds: "Well, Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know, I don't know... All of it was really nice but... what if the Bolsheviks come back!"

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

[The Bear]

:D

[GracchusBabeuf]

Stalin's mother visits Moscow in the 30s, and Stalin really wants to impress his mother who hasn't ever really left her small home in Georgia. So the night she arrives, Stalin really wants to impress her so he gives a state reception in her honor, his mother meets the high-ranking party leaders, eat the best food and drink the highest quality drinks. Afterwards Stalin asks his mother: "So what do you think, mother?"

The mother responds: "Hmm, I don't know Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know..."

Stalin is not happy with her mothers reaction, and really becomes obsessed about impressing her. He takes her to the Bolshoi Ballet and they watch it from the lounge, he takes her on a yacht trip on the Volga river, he takes her on a drive in a limo in the streets of Moscow, he buys her a fur coat, he buys her a new car and so forth. The response his mother gives to all after asked what she thinks about them is the same: "Hmm, I don't know Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know..."

Finally, before Stalin's mother is about to leave Moscow for her village in Georgia, Stalin asks her what she thinks and gets the same response. Stalin is really unhappy about it and angrily asks: "Why mother? Why didn't you like any of the things here? I gave a state reception in your honor, I took you to watch the Bolshoi Ballet from the lounge, I took you on a yacht trip on the Volga river, I took you on a drive around the city in a limo, I bought you a fur coat and a new car... What is the problem, why didn't you like any of it?"

Stalin's mother responds: "Well, Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know, I don't know... All of it was really nice but... what if the Bolsheviks come back!"
:lol::lol::lol:

[BIG BROTHER]

Stalin's mother visits Moscow in the 30s, and Stalin really wants to impress his mother who hasn't ever really left her small home in Georgia. So the night she arrives, Stalin really wants to impress her so he gives a state reception in her honor, his mother meets the high-ranking party leaders, eat the best food and drink the highest quality drinks. Afterwards Stalin asks his mother: "So what do you think, mother?"

The mother responds: "Hmm, I don't know Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know..."

Stalin is not happy with her mothers reaction, and really becomes obsessed about impressing her. He takes her to the Bolshoi Ballet and they watch it from the lounge, he takes her on a yacht trip on the Volga river, he takes her on a drive in a limo in the streets of Moscow, he buys her a fur coat, he buys her a new car and so forth. The response his mother gives to all after asked what she thinks about them is the same: "Hmm, I don't know Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know..."

Finally, before Stalin's mother is about to leave Moscow for her village in Georgia, Stalin asks her what she thinks and gets the same response. Stalin is really unhappy about it and angrily asks: "Why mother? Why didn't you like any of the things here? I gave a state reception in your honor, I took you to watch the Bolshoi Ballet from the lounge, I took you on a yacht trip on the Volga river, I took you on a drive around the city in a limo, I bought you a fur coat and a new car... What is the problem, why didn't you like any of it?"

Stalin's mother responds: "Well, Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know, I don't know... All of it was really nice but... what if the Bolsheviks come back!"

Well only Marxist nerds like us would be able to understand it, but nevertheless pure genius!!!

[Black Sheep]

So provide an explanation for us non- Marxist nerds (non marxists and non nerds, that is :p)

[BIG BROTHER]

Basically Stalin's mother wasn't aproving much of what Staling did, because he was living like a bourgeoisie which would mean that maybe the Bolshevicks would come back to endorse it.

[StalinFanboy]

How many Leninists does it take to change a light bulb?


LENINISTS NEVER CHANGED ANYTHING


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[ZeroNowhere]

How many Leninists does it take to change a light bulb?


LENINISTS NEVER CHANGED ANYTHING


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
I think you've forgotten about a period I like to call the 20th Century.

[StalinFanboy]

I think you've forgotten about a period I like to call the 20th Century.
Nah

[Il Medico]

Stalin's mother visits Moscow in the 30s, and Stalin really wants to impress his mother who hasn't ever really left her small home in Georgia. So the night she arrives, Stalin really wants to impress her so he gives a state reception in her honor, his mother meets the high-ranking party leaders, eat the best food and drink the highest quality drinks. Afterwards Stalin asks his mother: "So what do you think, mother?"

The mother responds: "Hmm, I don't know Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know..."

Stalin is not happy with her mothers reaction, and really becomes obsessed about impressing her. He takes her to the Bolshoi Ballet and they watch it from the lounge, he takes her on a yacht trip on the Volga river, he takes her on a drive in a limo in the streets of Moscow, he buys her a fur coat, he buys her a new car and so forth. The response his mother gives to all after asked what she thinks about them is the same: "Hmm, I don't know Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know..."

Finally, before Stalin's mother is about to leave Moscow for her village in Georgia, Stalin asks her what she thinks and gets the same response. Stalin is really unhappy about it and angrily asks: "Why mother? Why didn't you like any of the things here? I gave a state reception in your honor, I took you to watch the Bolshoi Ballet from the lounge, I took you on a yacht trip on the Volga river, I took you on a drive around the city in a limo, I bought you a fur coat and a new car... What is the problem, why didn't you like any of it?"

Stalin's mother responds: "Well, Iosif Vissarionovich, I don't know, I don't know... All of it was really nice but... what if the Bolsheviks come back!"
You win thee internets.

[BIG BROTHER]

How many Anarchists does it take to change a light bulb?


Anarchists NEVER CHANGED ANYTHING


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Lmao Zedong!

[red cat]

During a politburo meeting of a certain clandestine communist party, one of the politburo members gets up and hurriedly walks past the others. The sentry shoots him immediately. Infuriated, the other communists demand an explanation from the sentry on spot before trying him. He calms them and says that the person he shot was actually a spy. The corpse is thoroughly searched, and indeed, a tracking device is found inside one of its shoe soles. After destroying it, one of the now amazed communists asks him, "But tell us comrade, how did you ever find out?"... and the sentry replies with a victorious smile, "Simple; he was Trotting away".

[red cat]

Trotskyism is the theory of Marxism as advocated by Leon Trotsky.[Wikipedia. Emphasis mine]
:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[bailey_187]

In Soviet Russia, YOU clap the audience



http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m230/Procopius_Prime/Poster08.jpg

[BIG BROTHER]

During a politburo meeting of a certain clandestine communist party, one of the politburo members gets up and hurriedly walks past the others. The sentry shoots him immediately. Infuriated, the other communists demand an explanation from the sentry on spot before trying him. He calms them and says that the person he shot was actually a spy. The corpse is thoroughly searched, and indeed, a tracking device is found inside one of its shoe soles. After destroying it, one of the now amazed communists asks him, "But tell us comrade, how did you ever find out?"... and the sentry replies with a victorious smile, "Simple; he was Trotting away".

ouch! lol

another good joke only us ppl in revleft could undestand.

[red cat]

In the month of January in 1940, winter in USSR was quite severe and there was so much snow and ice on all the roads that the state wasn't being able to remove it efficiently and production activities where almost stopped. So Stalin called on for volunteers, announcing: "The Soviet Union is in great danger today. I urge every one of our comrades to volunteer with an ice pick to remove the gravest threat to our progress".

[BIG BROTHER]

In the month of January in 1940, winter in USSR was quite severe and there was so much snow and ice on all the roads that the state wasn't being able to remove it efficiently and production activities where almost stopped. So Stalin called on for volunteers, announcing: "The Soviet Union is in great danger today. I urge every one of our comrades to volunteer with an ice pick to remove the gravest threat to our progress".

1/2% lol

[NecroCommie]

Someone took the freedom of interpitation on that one...

[Il Medico]

In Soviet Russia.....

[spiltteeth]

It is not the bulb that must be changed, but your class consciousness before any real progress can occur.

[Abc]

So in 1939 3 Stalinists get stranded on a island, on the island they find a genie who grants them each 1 wish, they all wish to go home but the genie says theres a problem the rules say i cant sent you back to the U.S.S.R. with the same views you have now you must change your views, so the first chooses Anarchist and is teleported back to the U.S.S.R. were he is immediately shot, the second chooses Trotskyist is teleported back and shot like the last one, finally the last one says well if i'm going to be shot anyway i want to be a nazi, so he teleported back to the U.S.S.R. as a nazi were he is immediately given the position Foreign Minister of the Soviet Union his name was Vyacheslav Molotov

[RotStern]

In soviet russia.. Joke laughs you.:laugh:

[Il Medico]

So in 1939 3 stalinists get stranded on a island, on the island they find a genie who grants them each 1 wish, they all wish to go home but the genie says theres a problem the rules say i cant sent you back to the U.S.S.R. with the same views you have now you must change your views, so the first chooses anarchist and is teleported back to the U.S.S.R. were he is immeditly shot, the second chooses trotskyist is teleported back and shot like the last one, finally the last one says well if i'm going to be shot anyway i want to be a nazi, so he teleported back to the U.S.S.R. as a nazi were was immedily given the postion Foreign Minister of the Soviet Union his name was Vyacheslav Molotov
Now that's harsh.

[BIG BROTHER]

So in 1939 3 Stalinists get stranded on a island, on the island they find a genie who grants them each 1 wish, they all wish to go home but the genie says theres a problem the rules say i cant sent you back to the U.S.S.R. with the same views you have now you must change your views, so the first chooses Anarchist and is teleported back to the U.S.S.R. were he is immediately shot, the second chooses Trotskyist is teleported back and shot like the last one, finally the last one says well if i'm going to be shot anyway i want to be a nazi, so he teleported back to the U.S.S.R. as a nazi were he is immediately given the position Foreign Minister of the Soviet Union his name was Vyacheslav Molotov

O.O ouch! lolz

[Rusty Shackleford]

Heres a simple one
http://vastate.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/libertarian-party.jpg

The Free Marketeers!

[bailey_187]

So in 1939 3 Stalinists get stranded on a island, on the island they find a genie who grants them each 1 wish, they all wish to go home but the genie says theres a problem the rules say i cant sent you back to the U.S.S.R. with the same views you have now you must change your views, so the first chooses Anarchist and is teleported back to the U.S.S.R. were he is immediately shot, the second chooses Trotskyist is teleported back and shot like the last one, finally the last one says well if i'm going to be shot anyway i want to be a nazi, so he teleported back to the U.S.S.R. as a nazi were he is immediately given the position Foreign Minister of the Soviet Union his name was Vyacheslav Molotov

Yes, Molotov, a Jew, was a Nazi. :closedeyes:

[LOLseph Stalin]

Yes, Molotov, a Jew, was a Nazi. :closedeyes:

Apperently Hitler was part Jewish, ironic enough.

[Pavlov's House Party]

Stalinist pickup line:
Hey baby, I wouldn't mind burying my icepick in your skull.

[BIG BROTHER]

Stalinist pickup line:
Hey baby, I wouldn't mind burying my icepick in your skull.

lol...do you have more???

[NecroCommie]

Trotskyite: Whoa! You can put your 'icepick' in my 'skull' anytime.

[Jazzratt]

Three blokes go into a pub (they have to be blokes for this joke, so bear with me) one of them is a liberal environmentalist type, one of them is an anarchist firebrand and one of them is a technocrat. Anyway, they have a few beers and the inevitable follows so they all traipse to the toilet and piss in urinals. Then it comes to cleaning their hands: the liberal uses a small splash of water and explains that it's to "preserve nature's aqueous bounty". The anarchist, irritated, shoves the liberal out of the way and uses a lot of water and is very thourough, he explains that this is anarchists should be commited and complete tasks fully. The technocrat, however, is already at the bar ordering himself a pint. When asked why he didn't wash his hands he just looks at the other two contemptuosly "technocrats know not to piss all over their hands" he says.

It's a shit joke, and I recognise that, but I hope I get points for not mentioning icepicks.

[GracchusBabeuf]

You get my sympathy points.:tt2:

[red cat]

It's a shit joke, and I recognise that, but I hope I get points for not mentioning icepicks.

Nice pick !

[Luís Henrique]

In Soviet Russia, YOU clap the audiencehttp://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m230/Procopius_Prime/Poster08.jpg
In the Netherlands, the audience claps itself, it doesn't need YOU!

Are you complaining about the way people clap here? Think of HAITI, where people don't have hands to clap.

Audience? Fuck the audience, this is Papua-New-Guinea, audience is for silly celebrities.

Luís Henrique

[Abc]

Yes, Molotov, a Jew, was a Nazi. :closedeyes:
I got another, 2 Stalinists walk into a bar the third one ducks and is then shot so the other 2 wont look stupid

[Comrade Corwin]

I found this on some Bollywood site or something...

A young, ruthless executive died and went to Hell. When he got there,he saw one sign that said 'Capitalist Hell', and another that said 'Socialist Hell'. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no one in front of the Capitalist Hell.
So, the executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"
"They boil you in oil, whip you and then put you on the rack," the guard replied.
"And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"
"The same exact thing," the guard answered.
"Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"
"Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips and racks!"

I'm not sure if this is anti-socialist or anti-capitalist... Eh, it's funny.

[Jazzratt]

I found this on some Bollywood site or something...

A young, ruthless executive died and went to Hell. When he got there,he saw one sign that said 'Capitalist Hell', and another that said 'Socialist Hell'. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no one in front of the Capitalist Hell.
So, the executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"
"They boil you in oil, whip you and then put you on the rack," the guard replied.
"And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"
"The same exact thing," the guard answered.
"Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"
"Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips and racks!"

I'm not sure if this is anti-socialist or anti-capitalist... Eh, it's funny.

Clearly anti-socialist. The implication is that socialism can't provide enough.

[Pirate Utopian]

In the Netherlands, the audience claps itself, it doesn't need YOU!
That's actually true.

Applause for yourself!

[Comrade Corwin]

I'd still go to Socialist Hell and bring that Hell on Earth! Hahaha!

[Gravedigger01]

Whats the difference between Chinese Communism and regular Capitalism?

The Spelling

[NecroCommie]

What is there common between Stalin and Trotsky?

They both start with S, except Trotsky! :laugh:

[NecroCommie]

Satan (for the purposes of this thread we will make the assumption that Satan is a lead figure in the communist movement), so, Satan comes home after a hard days work, and sighs: "I feel like hell..."

[BIG BROTHER]

Satan (for the purposes of this thread we will make the assumption that Satan is a lead figure in the communist movement), so, Satan comes home after a hard days work, and sighs: "I feel like hell..."

lol at how you made this joke a commie joke

[willdw79]

How many communists does it take to screw in a light bulb. One to smash it!

[Rusty Shackleford]

How many communists does it take to screw in a light bulb. One to smash it!

How many communists does it take to kill this joke? LOL

[Tyrlop]

A teacher learns that Vovochka's grandfather met Chapayev during the Russian Civil War. She asks him to come to the class on the eve of the anniversary of the Great October Socialist Revolution and tell the kids about his memories. The old man reluctantly agrees. Kids meet him with excitement: "Say, gramps, did you see Chapayev with your own eyes?" / "Indeed I did. There I was, on the bank of the Ural river, a Maxim machine gun firmly in my hands. Suddenly I see someone swimming across the river! His Nobleness orders me, fire Ivan, fire! Well, kids, that was the last I ever saw of Chapayev!"
:D

[Rusty Shackleford]

a teacher learns that vovochka's grandfather met chapayev during the russian civil war. She asks him to come to the class on the eve of the anniversary of the great october socialist revolution and tell the kids about his memories. The old man reluctantly agrees. Kids meet him with excitement: "say, gramps, did you see chapayev with your own eyes?" / "indeed i did. There i was, on the bank of the ural river, a maxim machine gun firmly in my hands. Suddenly i see someone swimming across the river! His nobleness orders me, fire ivan, fire! Well, kids, that was the last i ever saw of chapayev!"
:d
lol