What to do when a Jehovah Witness/Mormon knocks on your door?

[ev]

Today, I was woken up by a Jehovah Witness that knocked on my door, my brother opened it up and listened to her (and her brainwashed daughter), took the little pamphlet she gave him and then she was on her way.. probably to the next house.


Now.. What should you do when a Jehovah Witness, a Mormon, or anyone of any religion comes to your door offering an invitation to a religious induction???:confused:

[Killfacer]

Answer the door and say no thanks.

[which doctor]

Don't answer the door, pretend you're not home.

[Pogue]

Answer the door naked.

[RHIZOMES]

Get my shotgun

[NecroCommie]

Start converting them to the communist cause. Let them have a taste of their own medicine.

[RedAnarchist]

I actually live close to a Jehovah's Witness church adn went to high school with two of them. They don't tend to bother us anymore around here - I think they've got the message that most people aren't interested in religion.

A few weeks ago, two Mormons were in my street, running from door to door (one of them was actually American, probably from Utah), and they took no for an answer when they came to our door. I live in Preston, close to where they have a Mormon temple and from where a lot of people emigrated to Utah and converted to Mormonism, but actually very rarely come around here trying to get people interested in their religion.

[Il Medico]

When they ask you if you read the Bible reply "every God damn day". That has always worked for my friend Dean. I don't have to worry about it, they are afraid to come to my neighborhood. :D For some odd reason.

[Angry Young Man]

Answer the door wearing nothing but a white apron, and douse a little fake blood over it and yourself. Have a manic look in your eye, like if Oliver Reed was about to kick the bejayzus out of someone. Act a bit like Mr Horse in the Rubber Nipple salesmen episode of Ren and Stimpy.

[BabylonHoruv]

Start converting them to the communist cause. Let them have a taste of their own medicine.

I'm with Necro-Commie. If they visit regularly keep some leftist tracts on hand to give them in exchange for their religious ones.

If it is the mormons they will want to have a conversation with you. you can turn this to your advantage. JW's tend to give you literature and run away.

[New Tet]

[...]
Now.. What should you do when a Jehovah Witness, a Mormon, or anyone of any religion comes to your door offering an invitation to a religious induction???:confused:

I politely receive them at my door (not beyond) and truthfully explain that my agenda is too full to engage with them in any discussion or participation in their activities, thank you.

If I have a leaflet or any socialist literature on hand worth passing on, I will offer it without discussion. At that point, they always leave quickly and quietly.

[Dr Mindbender]

put on a satanist costume with a gold chalice and say ''ah you're just in time for our incantation''. That usually makes em run a mile and you dont have to feel heavy about being rude.

[fabilius]

I enjoy talking to mormons actually. I admire the fact they give a whole year of their life move to a foreign country and learn the language there just in order to convert a few people. (There are a lot of mormons missionaries in Iceland but very few Icelandic mormons... But they come here anyway and learn one of the most difficult languages in Europe).

Anyway, mormonism is one of the craziest religion, and that is saying a lot.

I usually try turning this into a philosophical debate about the existence of god but rarely succeed in doing that. (Hopeless to discuss rationally with them).

[Pirate Utopian]

Lure them into bed.

[Pirate turtle the 11th]

I murder them, burn down their houses and go after there families.

[Misanthrope]

"Sir, excuse me! sir! Have you accepted Karl Marx into your life?"

[Angry Young Man]

Why has nobody posted the appropriate Jesus pic? I don't know how to :(

[Pirate Utopian]

Why has nobody posted the appropriate Jesus pic? I don't know how to :(
Here you go babe...
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/tmt45z9/junk/jesus3.gif

[Sarah Palin]

Answer the door naked.

Presuming you're a man, have your other man friend answer the door naked and chat them up. Then come up next to him, you being naked as well, and put your arm around him, then wink at them.

[Le Libérer]

I used to tell them I was a member of the evil slave class (google it) or tell them I was Catholic and watch them run.

Now I just let my Rottweiller woof at them and jump at them thru the glass door, and ask them, "Do you really want me to open the door?" hehe

[Manifesto]

This thread made me check if I have a Jehovah Witness Church in my town and there is one right down the street and never have they come to my house. Even more odd there are 16 churches here in a small town most are Baptist and a few Catholic.

[Le Libérer]

and a few Catholic. Catholics dont need a church on every corner. The church has parishes and pack em in over several services ranging over the whole day on Sunday. Cuts down on cost, more money for the Popes red Prada slippers.

[LOLseph Stalin]

This thread made me check if I have a Jehovah Witness Church in my town and there is one right down the street and never have they come to my house. Even more odd there are 16 churches here in a small town most are Baptist and a few Catholic.

There's literally every single kind of Christian church imaginable in my town. Like everybody here is religious and Conservative.

[brigadista]

weirdly telling them i just finished a night shift and have to do the hoovering got rid of them fast......

[Angry Young Man]

Here you go babe...
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/tmt45z9/junk/jesus3.gif
Love you x x

[shadowmare]

A buddy and I actually did this once, we saw a couple Jehovahs Witnesses coming down the street through the window and had a bit of time before they got to my buddie's place. We took an old bedsheet and kicked it around in the backyard for a couple seconds to make it look all worn and dirty, I put it on like a robe and took a Heinekin out of the fridge. Thought sad thoughts so that my eyes would start to go bloodshot. By that time they were at the door, my buddy answered and they did their thing. He went "Hrmph? Oh! Yeah... JESUS GET YER ASS DOWN HERE" I ask if its "Dad", he says no. I give a loud groan and make my way to the door. Scratching my stomach and taking a big gulp of beer.
They gave us some dirty look and walked away

Looking at my drivers license... I could have passed off as Jesus, albeit with slightly shorter hair. But still passable

[Black Dagger]

Don't answer the door, pretend you're not home.

This is what i do usually.

But if i'm out on the street or what-have-you i'll usually just talk to them and ask questions, but depends if i have time or not. The problem of course is that if you respond in a polite way, ask questions etc. they tend to form the opinion that you're 'interested' and so the conversation will drag a bit. Plus side they'll probably give you their phone numbers :wub::p

[SoupIsGoodFood]

Pretend to be from Westboro Baptist Church and politely let them know that their religion is actually a "Fag church".

[Black Dagger]

^--- what's the joke/point of that? I don't get it.

[SoupIsGoodFood]

Just to out extremist them, weird em out and shit.

[An archist]

We get Mormons round here quite often (they come from the US, but speak perfect Dutch though), I usually just tell them we're atheists, my brother gets into a debate with them until they leave.:cool:

[Bilan]

I don't think they have ever knocked on my door.
I saw some at a local café once, and they complimented my shoes. :lol:

[An archist]

I don't think they have ever knocked on my door.
I saw some at a local café once, and they complimented my shoes. :lol:
Ouch, painful.

[Bilan]

I know. But to have divine shoes is quite a nice feeling.

[Il Medico]

Catholics dont need a church on every corner. The church has parishes and pack em in over several services ranging over the whole day on Sunday. Cuts down on cost, more money for the Popes red Prada slippers.
Some parishes also have mass on Saturday, a vigil mass. And of course that's what they spend the money on, that and his hats. The Pope is fly!:cool:
http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/09/16/knPOPE_wideweb__470x367,0.jpg
Hey Ladies. *wink*:wub:

[Angry Young Man]

Wow he's some kinda toe-tappin', hand-clappin', wife-slappin' country man!

[redarmyfaction38]

Today, I was woken up by a Jehovah Witness that knocked on my door, my brother opened it up and listened to her (and her brainwashed daughter), took the little pamphlet she gave him and then she was on her way.. probably to the next house.


Now.. What should you do when a Jehovah Witness, a Mormon, or anyone of any religion comes to your door offering an invitation to a religious induction???:confused:
invite them in.....you've got bugger all else to do....watch them squirm the minute you tell them your a communist...listen to how you're still seeking answers that only god can give you, stare pointedly at the most attractive female and ask if they do horizontal recruitment.:D

[NecroCommie]

invite them in.....you've got bugger all else to do....watch them squirm the minute you tell them your a communist...listen to how you're still seeking answers that only god can give you, stare pointedly at the most attractive female and ask if they do horizontal recruitment.:D
I ROFL now!!! :laugh:
This is really worth a try. I better remember it next time those goons are on my door.

[Jazzratt]

Answer the door, have a brief conversation and take abook I wil never read. I prefer meetin Hare Krishans on the street - some of them can be so fucking cute

[gorillafuck]

I have only twice ever had Mormons come to my door. Maybe there aren't many around here.