76 Rules of NU-Metal

[Ironfist]

76 Rules of Nu-"Metal":

1. Must have spikey hair with frosted tips.
2. Must rap.
3. Must whine when not rapping.
4. Must tell people that you're real metal because you listen to Korn and Limp Bizkit.
5. All your lyrics must be about suicide, how shitty your life is and it must be angry.
6. Everyone who has long hair is a hippie and gay.
7. Iron Maiden are not metal, they're "gay 70's/80's shit".
8. Korn are the gods of metal.
9. Manson rules in your book, even though he's shock rock.
10. Must wear baggy ass pants that cover your feet so you can trip over them on stage.
11. If you don't have spikey hair, but rather dreads instead, you fuckin' rule!
12. Must tell people that not only are you "metal" but you're gothic as well.
13. Must insult your fans everytime you're on stage.
14. Must insult your band members everytime you're on stage.
15. Must think every band not on MTV or K-Rock, suck.
16. Must only be popular in the U.S. any place else would be uncivilized.
17. Must praise MTV for giving your shitty band a chance to rake in the dough.
18. Must buy a full length nu metal album just for the one hit wonder. Disregard all other songs.
19. You are only allowed to play 2 chords. Anything higher then 2 means you're too talented for the band.
20. If you don't hop up and down on stage, you suck.
21. When a new trend breaks in and you don't change, you're band is washed up and has always sucked.
22. If your favorite band is no longer popular, you must turn your back on them and make fun of them every chance you get.
23. Must make fun of every band that was popular in the past because they're no longer cool.
24. If you just recently got into In Flames, you're fuckin' bad ass.
25. Must think you're satanic, even though you don't own a satanic bible.
26. Korn's album "Life is Peachy" is so fuckin' satanic.
27. Must like at least one Britney Spears song, and the only reason you like it is because the music video was "gully".
28. When doing an interview you must talk really low, say "like" a lot, and at the same time, talk as if you were raised in the ghetto, even though you're a white boy who lived in a mansion growing up.
29. Must say you love your fans, but the second they download one of your songs off the internet, you tear them a new asshole, because even though you have millions of dollars, your money's more important.
30. Only start a band for the money, not for the love of the music.
31. Metallica are your heroes.
32. Fat John Davis from, Korn is hot and sexy.
33. Fred Durst is bad ass because he mentions his band name in every fuckin' song, but if a band like, Manowar does it, it's not cool.
34. Must worship, Slipknot.
35. You must think Slipknot are the greatest "metal" band on the planet, even if they do suck.
36. Static-X are death metal because they toured with, Morbid Angel. You're not allowed to like them anymore.
37. One hit wonders, Drowning Pool are cool and the lead singer isn't really dead. He's just chillin'.
38. Must like at least one emo punk song. If you don't, you're a loser.
39. MTV is the greatest channel ever.
40. Carson Daly is cool.
41. That fat bald guy on MTV is soooooo metal and you worship his fatness.
42. There's no such thing as the underground.
43. Nu metal is the only metal in existence.
44. Korn's "Shoots and Ladder's" makes you cry.
45. "Shoots and Ladder's" is a power ballad that sooooo rules.
46. WWE Forceable Entry is the greatest "metal" comp. in the world.
47. Must only watch the Resident Evil movie for the music, fuck the games, fuck the story.
48. Life's a *****.
49. Must like, Rage Against the Machine.
50. Must hate society, the government and the media, but want to be played all over MTV to make a lot of money and play big ass concerts in arena's.
51. Any music before 2001 is old.
52. I Know What You Did Last Summer and all 3 Scream movies are the best "horror" movies out there.
53. Who's Jason Voorhees?
54. You gotta like at least one rap album.
55. You hated, Ozzy Osbourne 5 years ago, but now that the Ozzfest has a band list of nu metal, he's your idol.
56. Must rip off every single "riff" from, Korn and Limp Bizkit, combine them and claim they're yours.
57. If you don't like, Pantera, you're not a bad ass and you're soooo gay.
58. Pantera were never glam, got it?
59. Black metal scares you.
60. Death metal scares you.
61. Power metal makes you fear sharp objects.
62. Glam Rock makes you cream your pants because they sing about parties and sex, but is still "gay 80's shit".
63. Must get into, Quiet Riot because, Manson let them play at a party of his.
64. "Faith" was written by, Fred Durst.
65. You're gay.
66. Anything loud is metal.
67. Must think people fear you, yet in reality, they are laughing at you.
68. Must drink beer just too look cool and then cry when you throw up.
69. Heh, heh, 69.
70. Must wanna fuck, Britney Spears and then steal one of "her" songs.
71. The more you curse, the more bad ass you are.
72. The more you talk about how shitty life is, the cooler you are.
73. Linkin Park are so talented.
74. Staind are cool because they ***** about things. *****ing is cool.
75. Manowar are not the loudest band in the world, Korn are because they're popular and cool.
76. And last but not least, you must be voted the #1 greatest "metal" band of all time in Hit Parader magazine because you had one, ONE, hit and you're extremely bad ass and heavy


-> If someone feels insulted for any reason over this list, i couldnt care less.

[FatFreeMilk]

LOL no.5 is so true and 41.is funny as fuck:biggrin:
Who's your favorite "nu metal" band:cheesy:

[Ironfist]

Are you kidding, i dont like nu metal at all :)

[FatFreeMilk]

ha ha I was being sarcastic ;)

[Ironfist]

Well yeah its difficult to sense it through forums...

<sarcasm>Maybe we should use tags like these</sarcasm>
:))

[Guardia Bolivariano]

7. Iron Maiden are not metal, they're "gay 70's/80's shit".





FUCK YOU!

[Rastafari]

*Quotes Bill and Ted*
"Iron Maiden&#33;?...Alright&#33;&#33;&#33;"

[Ironfist]

Originally posted by Guardia [email protected] 29 2003, 10:56 PM


7. Iron Maiden are not metal, they&#39;re "gay 70&#39;s/80&#39;s shit".





FUCK YOU&#33;
This whole thing is ment as a JOKE you idiot. And oh yeah strong insult BTW i&#39;m already afraid of you... Next time try to be sober when you post...

[Non-Sectarian Bastard!]

57. If you don&#39;t like, Pantera, you&#39;re not a bad ass and you&#39;re soooo gay

??? Do u hate Pantera?

Pantera is kinda nu-metal like, but they are a band from the older generation and make pretty good music.

Psycho Holiday, Cemetary Gates are good songs.

[FatFreeMilk]

The following is a message from Gaurdia Boliviariano:

I didn&#39;t It mean It like that... I was refering to the man that wrote that, you got it from a rock magazine right?
If you wrote that then you are very funny. It wasn&#39;t meant as a personal attack that&#39;s why I didn&#39;t quote your name.
Ps: I am totally sober, I can&#39;t drink with a head trauma It just gives me migraines.


This is me: :D

[Organic Revolution]

i only read half of that.. got bored........u mentioned korn to much.... eww korn :angry:

[Ironfist]

Ahh ok.. Well you wrote FUCK YOU so big i really wasnt paying attention to the names :)
Ah well, i ofcourse didnt make the list myself (i do have better things to do) i found it on a site and there&#39;s 2 more, 101 rules of black metal and 51 rules of power metal.. Kinda funny :)

[suffianr]

Metal has no rules.

[El Brujo]

Originally posted by [email protected] 30 2003, 03:51 AM
2. Must rap.
3. Must whine when not rapping.
8. Korn are the gods of metal.
19. You are only allowed to play 2 chords. Anything higher then 2 means you&#39;re too talented for the band.
50. Must hate society, the government and the media, but want to be played all over MTV to make a lot of money and play big ass concerts in arena&#39;s.
71. The more you curse, the more bad ass you are.
72. The more you talk about how shitty life is, the cooler you are.




HAHAHA. So True :D

[Purple]

"1. Must have spikey hair with frosted tips. "

My hair is too curly... I&#39;m gonna colour it black dough:rolleyes:

"2.Must rap."

Fuck off...

"4. Must tell people that you&#39;re real metal because you listen to Korn and Limp Bizkit."

If I meet someone new they usually regard me as metal, but if anybody would mention Limp Bizkit I would put a fire cracker up their ass...

"5. All your lyrics must be about suicide, how shitty your life is and it must be angry."

Hey, you actually got it right :D

"6. Everyone who has long hair is a hippie and gay."

Uhhh....... :unsure:

"9. Manson rules in your book, even though he&#39;s shock rock. "

YEY.. :wub:, mr. manson is my god.. Just bought the Holy Wood cd today, together with a Disturbed cd, which was rather poorly..





"19. You are only allowed to play 2 chords. Anything higher then 2 means you&#39;re too talented for the band. "

Thank fucking god.... I know around 7 chords, but I can only play two of them any good.... <_<

[Marxist Theory]

lol all tru all tru...hate fuckin nu-metal freaks n liek hate how some say RATM r amazing n really dont get the meaning in the music and really think that battle for la is ther only good album.

[Rastafari]

http://www.rosewoodvc.com/Media/button/hopbtn.gif
Here you go comrade, see if this helps&#33;

[truthaddict11]

55. You hated, Ozzy Osbourne 5 years ago, but now that the Ozzfest has a band list of nu metal, he&#39;s your idol.
i would add you got into him because of the MTV show

[FatFreeMilk]

This is kinda random rambling but has anybody heard the new Limp Bizcit song? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: my sides hurt so bad when I first heard the hilarity today :lol:

[Rob]

You got it all wrong...Motorhead&#39;s the loudest band ever..

[truthaddict11]

you know what new "metal" band I hate?
its that band Evanesence&#33; It is the same shit over and over again they sound like a female fronted Linkin Park.

[praxis1966]

Ironfist: There is some good new metal/rap-core out there, it just doesn&#39;t get played on MTV. RATM was the first rap-core band out there not only to nail the sound, but convert enough people to lefties that they should be respected. Helmet used to rock, at least until they released Aftertaste. I&#39;m sure you don&#39;t like Tool, but then again most people don&#39;t understand the lyrics. This, I&#39;m sure, is the source of most people&#39;s dislike for the band. There are plenty of others; Snot (even though the lead singer&#39;s dead), Ultraspank, and Atreyu definately don&#39;t get enough credit.

Seems like you&#39;re guilty of the same thing you accuse new metal fans of. Judging the genre by what you see on MTV.

[truthaddict11]

I&#39;m sure you don&#39;t like Tool, but then again most people don&#39;t understand the lyrics. This, I&#39;m sure, is the source of most people&#39;s dislike for the band. There are plenty of others; Snot (even though the lead singer&#39;s dead), Ultraspank, and Atreyu definately don&#39;t get enough credit.



Tool is awesome so was Snot

[ONE]

"31. Metallica are your heroes"

Hey man, don&#39;t diss Metallica&#33; :angry: JK, I love their music, but not too crazy about their attitude.

I&#39;d like to make a couple of points:
- Tool is good
- "bring me to life" by Evanessance is a great song
- Rob, Motorhead sucks&#33; They only have 2 good songs.

[Rob]

Originally posted by [email protected] 8 2003, 03:06 PM
Hey man, don&#39;t diss Metallica&#33; :angry: JK, I love their music
- Rob, Motorhead sucks&#33; They only have 2 good songs.
Bah&#33; I fart in your general direction...and if it weren&#39;t for Motorhead, there&#39;d be no Metallica (or Megadeth, or Slayer, or Anthrax).

[ONE]

Originally posted by Rob+Aug 8 2003, 05:26 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Rob @ Aug 8 2003, 05:26 PM)
[email protected] 8 2003, 03:06 PM
Hey man, don&#39;t diss Metallica&#33; :angry: JK, I love their music
- Rob, Motorhead sucks&#33; They only have 2 good songs.
Bah&#33; I fart in your general direction...and if it weren&#39;t for Motorhead, there&#39;d be no Metallica (or Megadeth, or Slayer, or Anthrax). [/b]
:lol:

ok, so I got a whiff of your brand, :blink: but still, Motorhead doesn&#39;t impress me much. It&#39;s true that they were one of Metallica&#39;s influences, but you can&#39;t say there wouldn&#39;t be Metallica without them.

I like Ace of Spades and the game by Motorhead.

[Ironfist]

Originally posted by [email protected] 8 2003, 05:26 PM
...and if it weren&#39;t for Motorhead, there&#39;d be no Metallica (or Megadeth, or Slayer, or Anthrax).
And that&#39;s a bad thing? :huh:

Just kidding hehe

But still, i dont like metal. Exept an occasional symphonic metal or whatever it&#39;s called (Symphony X and Dream Theater), but that is more or less it..

[ONE]

And what is the definition of Metal nowadays :huh: ? there are so many genres that I can&#39;t keep track of them anymore :wacko: . Where would you draw the line between hard rock and metal?

hmm, maybe I should start a new thread about genres

[Ironfist]

Hmmm, heavy metal is a part of rock, everything else with metal in it is a part of metal, as far as i&#39;m conserned..

Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Guns N&#39; Roses - Sepultura, Pantera, Cradle of Filth <-- Pretty different dont you think?

[ONE]

A whole bunch of genres fall under rock, and a whole bunch falls under metal - thrash, death, etc... My point is that there is a constant subdivision within music that it makes it hard to draw the line between them - there is a gradient of musical sounds...

What&#39;s creed considered? how about Queens of the Stone age? etc; are they metal or hard rock?

[Ironfist]

As far as i know, hard rock

But i dont listen to any of them that much to know, i only heared a few songs..

Subdivisions suck anyway cause there&#39;s no band that would only do 1 kind of songs...

If you like it you&#39;ll listen to it no matter what it is

[ONE]

Originally posted by [email protected] 8 2003, 10:21 PM
As far as i know, hard rock

But i dont listen to any of them that much to know, i only heared a few songs..

Subdivisions suck anyway cause there&#39;s no band that would only do 1 kind of songs...

If you like it you&#39;ll listen to it no matter what it is
I agree with you, for example that song "What if" by creed is quite heavy, I would personally classify it as Metal, but they have a lot of other softer tunes; so maybe the classification should not go by band, but rather by individual songs.


"If you like it you&#39;ll listen to it no matter what it is"

Yes, if you like it; you like it.

My belief is that there shouldn&#39;t be classifications in music. There should be no rock (proletariat), classical(Bourgeois); it should all be MUSIC :hammer: :P :D

[Ironfist]

"What if" is hard rock ... or heavy metal, same thing... I like it, its my fav. from them :)

Well, there has to be some kinda differenciation, but there are indeed too many subcategories for each style..

[praxis1966]

I don&#39;t think I would classify Creed as metal or even hard rock. If anything they would be pop rock. But I&#39;m probably biased due to their constant references to Christianity and the Bible. Same as Live, can&#39;t stand those fuckers either.

[ONE]

See what I mean, even three people can&#39;t agree on how to classify Creed :blink:

I like a couple of Creed songs, "What If" is one of their best songs, especially when the heavy guitar kicks in... I also like "Higher" and "Beautiful" - all off "Human Clay" Their recent stuff suck.

Anyway, here are the Lyrics to "What If"; I don&#39;t think it&#39;s religious or makes references to the bible, but please correct me if I&#39;m wrong.

--------
"What If"

I can&#39;t find the rhyme in all my reason
Lost sense of time and all seasons
Feel I&#39;ve been beaten down
By the words of men who have no grounds
Can&#39;t sleep beneath the trees of wisdom
When your ax has cut the roots that feed them
Forked tongues in bitter mouths
Can drive a man to bleed from inside out

What if you did?
What if you lied?
What if I avenge?
What if eye for an eye?

I&#39;ve seen the wicked fruit of your vine
Destroy the man who lacks a strong mind
Human pride sings a vengeful song
Inspired by the times you&#39;ve been walked on
My stage is shared by many millions
Who lift their hands up high because they feel this
We are one We are strong
The more you hold us down the more we press on

What if you did?
What if you lied?
What if I avenge?
What if eye for an eye?

[Guitar Break]

I know I can&#39;t hold the hate inside my mind
&#39;Cause what consumes your thoughts controls your life
So I&#39;ll just ask a question
A lonely simple question
I&#39;ll just ask one question
What if? What if?
What if? What if?
What If I?

What if? What if?
What if? What if?
What If I?

What if? What if?
What if? What if?
What If I?

What if? What if?
What if? What if?
What If I?

What if you did?
What if you lied?
What if I avenge?
What if eye for an eye?

What if your words could be judged like a crime?

What if? What if?
What if? What if?
What If I?

What if? What if?
What if? What if?
What If I?

What if? What if?
What if? What if?
What If I?

What if? What if?
What if? What if?
What If I?

--------------

Here are the lyrics to "Higher" (http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~harel/cgi/page/htmlit?Higher.html&printer) and Beautiful (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/creed/beautiful.html)

I&#39;ve heard it many times that Creed are a "religious" band; but I haven&#39;t heard any of their stuff that reflects this... :unsure:

[praxis1966]

You can&#39;t simply analyse the poetic by taking it at face value. The lyrics you posted are full of Biblical imagery.

Take for instance the lines:


Feel I&#39;ve been beaten down
By the words of men who have no grounds

One could argue that he is referring to godless men. He implies that without faith one has no grounds to criticize him.

These as well:


Inspired by the times you&#39;ve been walked on
My stage is shared by millions
Who lift their hands up high because they feel this

The "you" in "you&#39;ve" he&#39;s referring to here is Jesus. The "millions" with whom his "stage" is shared are the millions of "believers." Finally, the imagery of those "who lift their hands up high" is really quite simple. If you&#39;ve ever seen people worship in Evangelical Christian chuches, people are constantly standing, raising their arms and heads toward the ceiling, and shouting out in "praise of the Lord." What they "feel" is the presence of the Holy Spirit.

In "Higher," things are even more obvious. All one has to do is look to the chorus.


Can you take me higher
To a place where blind men see
Can you take me higher
To a place with golden streets

The "place" he&#39;s talking about is Heaven, where all diseases are cured and peace is found. The "you" to whom he is talking is Jesus once again. The entire song is about wanting an end to the suffering of this world. In his view, Jesus and Heaven are the only ways to do this.

Not that there&#39;s anything wrong with that. It&#39;s just I&#39;m a Buddhist who&#39;s grown weary of the barrage of conversion attempts that Christians hit me with on a regular basis. I get preached to all the time in everyday life, I&#39;d rather not have to hear it when I turn on the radio.

[Ironfist]

But then again, this is just your interpretation...
I find nothing religious in &#39;What if&#39;


&#39;Higher&#39;
When dreaming guided into another world
time and time again
.
.

That doesnt necesserily mean heaven, nor does &#39;you&#39; necesserily refer to Jesus

And in the lyrics of &#39;Beautiful&#39; i found absolutely nothing religious...

[soul83]

Originally posted by [email protected] 7 2003, 01:17 AM
you know what new "metal" band I hate?
its that band Evanesence&#33; It is the same shit over and over again they sound like a female fronted Linkin Park.
I agree with you but I love those two bands... well I used to like Linkin Park but now they seem like they stopped making quality music.

[suffianr]

The allusions to Christianity in Higher are so painfully obvious. But when I first heard it, I was so strung out on drugs I thought the bastard was talking about mushrooms. :lol:

[ONE]

"Higher"

---
When dreaming guided into another world
time and time again
As sore eyes I fight to stay asleep
cause i don&#39;t want to leave the comfort of this place
Cause theres a hunger longing to escape
from the life I live when I&#39;m awake
So lets go there
...
...
Sailed high i&#39;m strong enough to take these dreams and make them mine
...


he might be simply talking about dreaming of a better place and a better life; it doesn&#39;t have to be religious connotations. Heck, I always dream of a better world for humanity.

For any piece of writing, if you analyze it deep enough, you can end up with many interpretations. (although your interpretations do make sense)

I&#39;m not saying I&#39;m certain these lyrics have no religious connotations, I&#39;m just saying that as long as the lyrics are not obviously religious, you shouldn&#39;t refuse to listen to a song... and besides, you can have your own interpretation of the song :P (I like Suffianr&#39;s when he was high :D )


I get preached to all the time in everyday life, I&#39;d rather not have to hear it when I turn on the radio.

You feel preached to only if you think you are.

I&#39;m not a big Creed fan, but I really like "What If", I guess it doesn&#39;t matter to me what he&#39;s talking about as long as it&#39;s not obvious.

[praxis1966]

In some other circumstance I would agree with you, One. The difference here is I have heard many interviews on telivision, radio, and in music mags in which James has openly professed his devotion to Jesus as well as made "testimonials." He openly states that Jesus saved him from a life of drugs and living on the streets. It&#39;s hard to believe that such a strong belief in Christianity would not color nearly every song he has written.

What about the reference to "forked tongues" in "What If?" It&#39;s an obvious reference to the serpent, which is the form Satan chose to approach Eve in the Garden of Eden&#33;

As far as being preached to is concerned: Don&#39;t talk to me about that. Until you are reincarnated and come back as a non-church going Buddhist in the Deep South, you will have no idea what it&#39;s like. Do you know that I got beat up in elementary school for being a vegetarian? Please. Don&#39;t talk to me about "feeling preached to."

[synthesis]

The allusions to Christianity in Higher are so painfully obvious. But when I first heard it, I was so strung out on drugs I thought the bastard was talking about mushrooms. I realize that this is extremely tangential to the original topic, but I wanted to take this opportunity to share an excellent article I came upon several years ago and only recently rediscovered.

Mushrooms in the Bible (http://leda.lycaeum.org/?ID=10494)

[praxis1966]

Tangential indeed. I would be more than happy to discuss this in a new topic. Although, I wish you would weigh in on this subject with relevancy, Dyer. I value your opinion.

[ONE]

Originally posted by [email protected] 10 2003, 04:22 AM
As far as being preached to is concerned: Don&#39;t talk to me about that. Until you are reincarnated and come back as a non-church going Buddhist in the Deep South, you will have no idea what it&#39;s like. Do you know that I got beat up in elementary school for being a vegetarian? Please. Don&#39;t talk to me about "feeling preached to."
Sorry Praxis, I should&#39;ve been more specific; I was referring to being preached to through music.

For the most part, I ignore the lyrics. I can play "What If" on the guitar, and enjoy the overall song, but haven&#39;t really taken a close look at the Lyrics. Again, if religious connotations aren&#39;t too obvious (analysis required :) ) then I don&#39;t mind it.